 The reason why narcissists don't care about you. When you first met the narcissist, they were very friendly. They behaved in a pleasant, kind way towards you. They may have seemed damaged or upset about something. As though they needed your help. As though they needed you to save them. But at the time, it really seemed as though they cared about you. They took the time to consider you. To take an interest in what you were doing. And have respect for your thoughts and feelings. As the relationship continued. You began to realise and accept that the narcissist does not care about you. They no longer considered you. They talked to you in a very disrespectful manner. They treated you like you were a problem to them. They took no notice of your feelings. They didn't care about how you felt. You may also look back and realise. That all of this time you have been doing what the narcissist wants. You have been submitting to their demands. Doing whatever they want to do. Giving them whatever they need from you. And losing yourself in the process. Losing the ability to take care of yourself. It can be very confusing. When you look back at the time when you met the narcissist. They seemed so given. It seemed as though they really cared about you. But that was just an act that they used to get what they wanted from you. They never really cared about you. They never really had an interest in anything that you were doing. It was nothing more than a role that they were playing. To secure you as a source of supply. To get what they wanted from you. The narcissist does not care about you. They do not love you. They might display an act of kindness to you. But there is always an ulterior motive to what they are doing. And they will only engage in acts of kindness. If they believe that they will get something in return. They are self-absorbed. They are preoccupied with their own feelings, interests or situation. They are only interested in themselves and their own activities. They are so involved with themselves that they do not think about anyone else. They only think about what that person can do for them. Or how they can make them feel. They lack empathy. They lack the ability to feel what other people are feeling. They cannot share your feelings or experiences. It will be very clear when you are dealing with someone who is self-absorbed and lacks empathy. They will be quick to criticise other people without putting themselves in their shoes. They will lack awareness and sympathy for people that are suffering or people that are unfortunate. They have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance. They will only believe in their own ideas and beliefs. And they will criticise anyone who does not share those same ideas or beliefs. They have a strong sense of entitlement. They feel as though they are entitled to everything that you give to them. And they will use you to serve their needs without showing any appreciation or gratitude. If you refuse to meet their needs or decide to put yourself first for a change. They will become bitter and resentful towards you because they didn't get their way. They are so wrapped up in their own world that they do not have the capacity to consider your feelings or experiences. They will talk a lot about themselves and their lives without caring about anything that is going on with you. If they do or say something that hurts another person. They will blame the person for feeling hurt. They believe that by being hurt by what they said or did. They are the ones who are at fault or they are too sensitive. It is very clear when you are dealing with someone who is self-absorbed and lacks empathy. You will be unable to connect to them. Without empathy it is very difficult to create a deep emotional connection. They cannot share your feelings or experiences. They cannot put themselves in your shoes. So it leaves you feeling as though you are not being cared for. It leaves you feeling as though you are alone and invalidated. Because you are dealing with someone who only cares about their own ideas and beliefs. Their own feelings and experiences. There is no room for you in their world because their world revolves around them. They can only focus on their own needs and they see your needs as a problem. They feel like your needs are getting in the way of their needs. Which is why any time you try to meet your own needs. The narcissist will often become bitter and resentful towards you. The narcissist has an empty void within them. It's like a bottomless bucket that can never be filled. No matter how much you pour into them. Unless they were to heal their childhood traumas. But rather than trying to deal with their issues. They choose to conceal it behind their mask. Behind their false self. Someone who is kind and friendly. Someone who is relaxed and tolerant in attitude or manner. But what you are really dealing with is an empty void of nothingness that can never be filled. It has nothing to do with you. The narcissist cannot be satisfied. Even if you were the most attractive successful person in the world. It still wouldn't be enough for them. It still wouldn't make them feel complete. Because the problem isn't anything outside of them. It's the wound that they have inside of them. They pull you into this void of nothingness. And then use you as a means to their survival. They cannot exist without your energy. They need your energy to feel alive. And no matter how much you give to them. No matter how much you change yourself in an attempt to satisfy them. It will never be enough. They will always be trying to find other ways to get more from you. And any time that you try to meet your own needs. It will become a problem to them. They have no interest in meeting your needs. They have no interest in supporting you emotionally. And if you tell them about something that is bothering you. They will quickly change the subject. So that they can then use you again for emotional support. They need constant emotional support. Because they have this huge void within them. That they don't want to look at or deal with. But they want you to deal with it. They want you to provide them with constant emotional support. And that is where you then become their life support. Because it's something that you must attend to every day. It's not something that ever goes away. So they will expect you to constantly meet their needs. And provide them with emotional support. But if you ever try to get this from them. They will quickly burn the conversation back to themselves. And their own experiences. Or they will call you selfish for talking about yourself. But if you try to get your needs met elsewhere. Or you refuse to support them. They will pretend as though they care. They will pretend as though they are going to try to help you. But they really have no interest in doing so. And this fake caring behaviour will soon disappear. Just as it did before. The basic fundamental qualities that you might expect from a relationship. Are actually very difficult for the narcissist to provide to you. Although you might be able to provide it to them. The narcissist cannot understand you. They will not listen to you when you are talking. You cannot work together with them. You cannot compromise. You cannot have communication that goes in opposite directions. The relationship will only ever revolve around them. Because their attention, interest and activity. Is directed towards what they need from you. The narcissist will use you. Without any consideration or concern for you. They don't care about the consequences. They don't care about how it will affect you. They see you as an object that exists to serve them. And meet their needs. They don't see it as though they are using you. They see it as though you're not good enough. They have an insensitive and cruel disregard for you. They see it as though you're beneath them. You're disgusting. You're extremely unpleasant or unacceptable. They believe that they are significant and important. And you are not. They will take advantage of you. And they won't even think about it. They might act as though they're sorry. Or that they didn't mean to do that. But even then. It's just another attempt to get what they want from you. They willfully cause pain and suffering to people. Without feeling any concern about it. They want to make you feel like you are nothing. It's self-medication. They use people that they can devalue and degrade. So that they can feel better about themselves. If you are an empathic person. And you care about people. This may be difficult to understand. But this is the reality of the situation. The narcissist does not care about you. Or anyone else. They only care about what you can do for them. Or how you can make them feel. It is never about you. It is never about them having a genuine interest in how you feel. Or what you are doing. They are self-absorbed. And lack empathy. They only care about themselves. And they have no consideration or respect for you. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries can email me at nazvercoaching at gmail.com. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.