 The Kraft Foods Company presents The Great Gilder Sleeve. Yes! It's The Great Gilder Sleeve starring Harold Perry, brought to you by The Kraft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. Every mortal on this earth, some would like to believe there is a guiding star in the heavens. If this is so, then Gilder Sleeve's star, lumbering through space, must this week have brushed by Venus. Who's mysteriously, and in sudden ways, fate was at work the day that Gilder Sleeve, wearying of the monotonous fare and familiar faces at the Idle Hour tea shop, wandered alone for lunch, into the grill of the Summerfield Hotel. He handed his hat to the check room girl, let her help him off with his overcoat, and turned to look for a table. When suddenly, coming toward him, he saw a vision. I've ever seen. She was beautiful. An absolute vision of delight. I tell you, she was... Oh, she was just beautiful. His name must have been pretty good-looking. Who was she? I don't know. All I know is she was beautiful. Well, didn't you ask for goodness sake? Floyd, I'm trying to tell you, this woman was so beautiful. I know, I know. I couldn't just walk up to her and say, Who are you? No, but you could have bumped into her and said, Pardon? There's ways. I know, but I couldn't think of them. I couldn't think of anything, except that she was beautiful. Was this name alone or was it...? She was not a dame, Floyd. She was a different type entirely. I don't know whether she was alone or not. I didn't notice. Well, what'd she look like? Floyd, she was... I know, she was beautiful. But what did she look like? Was she dark or was she a blonde? I don't know. Was she tall or was she short? I don't remember that either. You're sure you saw this dame? Of course I saw her and stopped calling her a dame. Pardon me. Finish me up, Floyd. I want to get going. You know what she reminded me of, Floyd? What? A poem we had to learn in school. I don't remember it exactly, but it went there, something, something, something, and then my heart with rapture fills and dances with the daffodils. This dame found the daffodils, is she? How do I know? I was just asking. I thought you were reciting me this poem by daffodils, maybe she was crazy about them or something. It's the only poem I remember. Oh. Floyd, the woman was beautiful. Yeah, tell me. I'm not joking, Floyd. How do you suppose I could find out who she is? How do you suppose I could meet her? Well, you sort of muffed your chance there. The only way I can think of is to go back where you've seen her. Maybe she'll come in for lunch again. That's an idea. You know, the criminal returns to the scene of the crime and all. Gosh, if she walked in there again, Floyd, I don't know what I'd say. But I'd think of something. Hurry up, let me out of here, Floyd. I've got to. Oh, little early for lunch, isn't it? Only 11.30. It ain't so early. If you're worried about eating alone, Mr. Gillis, leave, I'll be glad to close the shop and come with you. Oh, no. No, no, Floyd, this is one thing I'm handling by myself. Are you expecting somebody else? What would you like? I don't know. I'm not very hungry. What's good? The veal shank is very... I'll have that. Same is. Yes, sir? Tell me, you haven't seen a lady come in, have you? I mean, she was in here yesterday. What kind of a lady? Well, she was quite attractive. She... No, sir. Nobody liked that spinny-in. Look, if you're lonesome, I'm not necessarily doing anything tonight. What's that? Let it go. I'll get your veal shank. Oh, uh, head waiter. Yes, you sure? Uh, maybe you could tell me. I'm looking for a lady. I don't know who she is, but she was in here for lunch about a week ago. I thought maybe you might have noticed she... Did she sit at that table right over there? I don't know. I only saw her coming out. Well, was she, uh... Oh, very. And kind of, uh... Yes, yes. And did she have the... That's the one. Do you know her? Do you know who she is? No, monsieur. But I know the gentleman she was with. She was with somebody? Mr. Engelbach. Otto Engelbach. Nuts. PV, the one man in this town I'm not speaking to. He isn't speaking to me either. Well, it's a small world, Mr. Gildesleeve. It's a small town, PV. That's what's wrong. This town isn't big enough for me and Otto Engelbach. Well, I wouldn't say that. Of course. Maybe the lady isn't big enough for you and Mr. Engelbach. PV, how can a lovely creature like that associate with a fellow like Engelbach? Oh, I don't know. A lot of people are going to associate with Mr. Engelbach. He's a pretty solid citizen. President of the country, Trump, three times running. Yeah, he bought his way in. I told him so, too. No wonder he's not speaking to you. Like this affair he's giving at the club Saturday. The president's annual dinner. Why do you suppose he does that? So he'll get re-elected, throwing his money around. I wouldn't be caught dead at that thing. Were you invited? Nope. I don't care either. Little shower grapes? Not at all. What would I want to go to the... Say, you don't suppose she'll be there? No. PV, she's bound to be there. If she's still in town, a show off like Engelbach, he'd never miss a chance like that. He'll be parading her around, strutting like a peacock, the fat slob. No, no. PV, I can't stand it. What can she see in him, PV? Tell me that. Well, after all, he's got money, as you say. And he's an eligible bachelor like yourself. Oh, this girl wouldn't be influenced by money, PV. You don't know her. Do you? You can tell at the minute you meet her. There's something, something unearthly about her, PV. Something radiant. Something that makes you want to worship from afar. I've got to meet her, PV. I've got to get to that dinner. I thought you wanted to worship from afar. Don't make fun of me, please, PV. I know you don't believe me, but this is the real thing. How can I get to that dinner? Well, the only way I can see is to make friends with Mr. Engelbach. Friends with Engelbach? Never. No sir. But do you know what he wants me to do? He wants me to apologize. Well? I never apologize to anybody. It's against my principles. At least we'll all do a f- Well, Judge Hooker. Gentlemen, gentlemen. Still hang around drugstores, Gildy? You old goat. What can I do for you, Judge? You'll pardon us a moment, Gildy. Sure, go ahead. Say, PV, this stuff you sold me, there aren't any directions with it. No, well, it's very simple. You merely apply it to the denture and then... Say, Judge, you know how to Engelbach? Certainly. Why? I've done good terms with him and all. Why, of course. Why? I'm just saying to PV, what a pity it is that Otto and I haven't been speaking all these years. Well, I don't think Otto's losing any sleep over it. I know, but the whole thing is so unfortunate, Judge, so petty and ridiculous. Two men who ought to be friends carrying on this way. Well, you wouldn't be if you weren't so pigheaded and obstinate. I know. I've been at fault, Horace. You made a very unfair accusation against Otto Engelbach. In public. And I think that he had a perfect right to insist on an apology. That's just it, Horace. I've come to see that now. Haven't I, PV? Would you do me a favor, Judge? Will you go to Otto and tell him... Why should I go to him? You go to him. Just go and apologize, that's all there is to it. Horace, please, if you just tell him... Tell him yourself, why should I be the go-between? I'm shy. Ha! All right, I insulted him in public. I think it's only fair that I apologize in public. What do you mean in public? You'll be seeing him, Horace. Tell him if you'll invite me to his dinner party Saturday night. Don't tell him I said so, mind you. But tell him you have it on good authority from a source close to me. Tell him if you'll invite me to his party, I'll apologize. Will you do that? What are you so anxious to go to his party for? So I can apologize, Judge, for no other reason, believe me. My, my. Will you do it, Judge? Will you, for me? All right, then, do it for Engelbach. Well, if I see him... See, you don't know what a relief this is. I've had this hanging over me all these years. Just didn't want to give in. But lately I haven't been able to sleep nights hardly, thinking about Otto, and I was unfair to him. Tell him that, will you? Er... Well, I'll be going. And thanks for the information, Peter. And I'll tell you, Judge, I think you'll find it'll stop that wobble. If it doesn't, bring it back. Don't forget, Judge. You might even find Otto in right now if you stop by his office. Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee. Mr. Gilly-Steve, really, I... Well, what's the difference? All's fair, and love and war. But you pretend to make friends with your man and then steal his girl. Pee-bee, I'll say this. It couldn't happen to a nice or fellow. Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee. Now don't say I'm not friendly. We told you last week, but it's still big news and good news. Kraft Kitchen Fresh Mayonnaise is once again available and in reasonable quantity. Yes, the supply of fine salad oils is becoming more plentiful. And now Kraft can make a fair amount of this really superior mayonnaise, which has long been famous. Soon, if you haven't already, you should be able to find some mature food dealers. Kraft Kitchen Fresh Mayonnaise, you know, is mayonnaise with the delicacy of flavor, the richness that only choice ingredients can give. Fine salad oil, selected eggs, fragrant vinegar and spices. And for the final touch of inspiration, fresh lemon juices added. With its pecan homemade goodness, Kraft Mayonnaise glorifies any and every salad. Its texture too is marvelous. A special patented beater exclusive with Kraft gives Kraft Mayonnaise a velvet smoothness you could never accomplish in your own kitchen. It's mayonnaise nothing short of perfection. Kraft Kitchen Fresh Mayonnaise. Incidentally, another famous Kraft product, miracle whip salad dressing, continues to be fairly scarce. We're sorry, but the shortage of sugar continues to limit its production. Now let's get back to the great Gildersleeve. Judge Hooker has promised to patch things up for him with Otto Engelbach. But here it is Saturday afternoon, the day of Engelbach's country club dinner, and Gildersleeve has had no news. We find him pacing thoughtfully in his parlor. Dear old goat, would he have the sense to let me know? No, he wouldn't. How could he? No imagination. He doesn't know what I'm going through. He doesn't know how beautiful she was. How beautiful who was? I was not addressing you, Leroy. There's nobody else here. I thought I was alone. Eavesdropping is a nasty dirty trick, my boy. That means spying. Who's spying? I just walked in here. I was going to ask you for a quarter. Spying. Can I have a quarter? Leroy, I'm about to answer your question. I wish you to regard my answer as the end of our conversation, not the beginning. You understand? I only want to see the picture at the majestic. I just told you. It's an educational picture. I thought you'd want me to see it. Educational? It's three little girls in blue. It's an educational short. It goes with it. Leroy, I told you I wanted no lengthy arguments. You said when you answered it would be the end, but you haven't answered yet. So I thought I'd tell you some of the advantages. The answer is no. Now, for heaven's sake. If I can't go to the movies, can Piggy come over and play? I don't want Piggy hanging around here this afternoon, Leroy. We won't hang around. We'll play. I don't want you playing here either. We'll play quietly. And stop arguing with me. Who's I...? Permit me to answer it, Leroy. Sure. Gosh, what's eating him anyway? Hello? Just a minute. I'll call her. Leroy, please go upstairs and ask your sister to come to the telephone. Do not yell. Okay. Gosh, there's nothing the matter with her. Maybe Hooker hasn't even seen Engelbach. If he had any idea what I was after. No, no, no. He wouldn't. Maybe just forget all about it. Man, his age gets absent-minded. Better call him up. Yes, by George. I'll call him right this very minute. Who is it, Anki? Do you know? I didn't ask. Some girl. Francy? I don't know. Please be brief, Marjorie. I'm anxious to use the telephone. Please, what do you know? Well, it's funny that you should call because I heard only this morning that Francy told Clubby the same thing. So naturally, Lloyd knows all about it. And if he knows George's noise, because Lloyd tells his brother everything, it's terrible to get mixed up with brothers. Marjorie, I'm anxious to use the telephone. If you will confine your conversation to the essentials, I shall be greatly obliged. Wait a minute, Mary Louise. Anki's mumbling about something. Get off the telephone. I want to use it now. Every word you said. I don't care what Mary Louise heard. I can hear a gasp at the other end. Oh, that's too bad. Might have taken easy, Marge. The least little things you could get him in an uproar. Oh, good heavens. Hello. I'd like to speak to Judge Hooker, please. I don't care. This is important. You asked this Mr. Gillersleeve. The old goat working on a Saturday afternoon. Listen, Hooker, you said you were going to get a hold of Otto Wingelbach for me. Why didn't you call me? What did you say? You might have let me know. Good ol' Horace. Seven o'clock, black tie. By George, you're a real friend, Judge. If I can ever do a favor for you, just name it. Thanks again, Horace, and so long. I'll be down to get you in a taxi, honey. Better be ready about half-assed age. Well, my dear, moping around the house on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Phone, Anki? Telephone? Certainly not, my dear. My heart's content. Telephone to Philadelphia. Call up somebody in San Francisco. The sky is the limit. For heaven's sake. And Leroy, go to the movies. First impressions are very important. I suppose there'll be a whole mob of people around. And somebody will say, Miss So-and-So may I present Mr. Gillersleeve? And she'll say, how do you do? And I'll say, how do you do? Then what do I say? Well, Miss So-and-So, where have you been all my life? I'll just say it lightly like that. Well, Miss So-and-So, where have you been all my life? And she'll say, something like... Oh, Mr. Gillersleeve, where have you been all my life? Then what? Where have you been all my life? I can sort of smile at her and say, I've been waiting to meet someone like you. That ought to get her. And I guess I could ask her to dance. It's just an excuse to leave the other people. But you'll understand that. Would you care to dance, Miss So-and-So, by any chance? I'd love to. You've got to have a little more hot water. If we miss So-and-So, light is a feather. You lead brilliantly, Mr. Gillersleeve. You seem to feel the music. Oh, I do, tonight. Is there something special about tonight? Oh, there is. I feel I've known you for a long time, possibly in another world. I had a similar feeling when I saw you coming across the room just now, even before we met. Miss So-and-So, I don't like to ask this on such short acquaintance, but does that loudmouth Otto Engelbach mean anything to you? I can't stand Otto Engelbach. Neither can I. I wasn't going to say anything if he was a friend of yours, and actually... He's an old friend of my brother's, but he's treated me practically like a prisoner ever since I've been here. He hasn't introduced me to anyone. Takes me on long rides. Why, the... Has he tried to force his attentions on you? I've been able to prevent that. Why, if he was to lay a finger on you, I'd break him in two like a match. It's nice to know I have a strong defender. Miss So-and-So, let's go out on the terrace. I think that's a lovely idea. There's a moon. And I know a dandy little place to sit. You can see the whole 18th fairway practically. Isn't it a beautiful night? Lovely. You're not worried about being out here with me on account of Engelbach? Oh, no. Aren't you afraid of what white people might say? Not me. Don't sigh and gaze at me Your sighs are so like mine Your eyes mustn't glow like mine People will say To kill the sleep Call me Throckmorton, Miss So-and-So Throckmorton I'm on the way. I just dropped in for you to put on a couple of the finishing touches. Ah, let me see. Gee, the old tux still shapes up pretty good, don't it? Well, it's not so old. It cost me plenty. 15 years ago. Boiled shirt and pearl studs. Hey, those ain't real pearls, are they, Commissioner? Well, they're not the most expensive variety. I believe they're mother of pearl. Well, it's all in the family. Gee, I'd say you were all set to moan down, Mr. Gillis-Leave. What do you want from me? Well, I don't know. Let's see. Mustache? Hair trim? Massage? I've shaved, of course. You shaved, all right. If I tried to shave you any closer, you'd bleed to death. Turn around. Let me see you in the back. No, you don't want to trim. You're right at the best stage. Don't look like you just had a haircut. You know what I mean? You're sure? Oh, why should I lie to you? I could run the clippers up and down there and charge you half a buck. Rather see you look good. Well, thanks, Lord. I appreciate that. This means a lot to me, you know. Well, here I go. Here I go. Englebach was around here just a second ago. Englebach? Well, there's no hurry about it, is there? Oh, yeah. I thought you were in a hurry to get straightened out with him. I thought that you... Uh, Horace... What me? Horace, that lady over there, that lady. Have you met her? Sure I have. She's the guest of honor. You wanted me to... Horace, if you'll introduce me to her, I'll be in your debt as long as I live. In longer. Well, that's easy. Come on. Uh, wait a minute. Clean it. Uh, is my tie straight? Oh, sure. That's different. Come on. Okay. Miss Stevens, may I present my friend, Mr. Gildersleeve? How do you do? How do you do? Well, Miss Stevens, where have you been all my life? Oh, and her husband, Colonel Stevens, Mr. Gildersleeve. How do you do? Uh, how do you do? Colonel Stevens is the noted flyer. Oh? Uh, would you gentlemen forgive me if I danced with my wife? I haven't seen her in two years. I'd love to, darling. I'd love to, darling. She's a swimming woman, isn't she, Gildersleeve? Oh, here comes Anglebach. Now you can get squared away. What? I understand there was something you wanted to say to me. Yes, go fly a kite. The great Gildersleeve will be back again in just a minute. Many an expert hostess has built her reputation for fine foods on the superior salad she serves. And chances are those salads have been made with craft, kitchen, fresh mayonnaise whenever possible. So here's really good news. Fine salad oil is becoming more plentiful, and craft mayonnaise is once again available in reasonable quantity. If not already, your favorite food store should have a small supply very soon. Just as you remember it, craft, kitchen, fresh mayonnaise has a delicate, homemade flavor that comes from the choice ingredients that go into it. Fine salad oil and eggs, fragrant vinegar and spices, and as a final crowning touch, fresh lemon juice. Then a special beater patented by craft gives it surpassing smoothness, a creamy velvet texture that is truly superb. You'll never again bother to make your own, once you try craft, kitchen, fresh mayonnaise. It's available now. Miracle Whip, however, remains rather scarce because of the sugar shortage. Good night. Gildersleeve is played by Harold Perry. It is written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley as LeRoy and Louise Erickson as Marjorie. Nick LeGrand plays Mr. Peavey and Judge Hooker is Earl Ross. This is John Lang saying good night for the Craft Foods Company and inviting you to listen in again next Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gildersleeve. Always tastes especially good. So ask your grocer for several packages of Frizz. Yes, Frizz, F-R-I-Z-Z, is the new craft product that makes delicious ice cream right in your own refrigerator. Ice cream that's velvety smooth and rich with plenty of milk and cream. It's easy, just add water, a little sugar, and freeze according to the directions on the package. So economical, you get six generous servings from one small package. Remember, Frizz is made by an exclusive process that retains the fresh cream flavor. Try it soon, the new craft product called Frizz. 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