 Always I Yell It is the foremost internationally acclaimed authority on developing true connections. I Yell It is the founder and CEO of Universal Connections, Inc. the world's premier relationship firm that is revolutionizing life through a wholism and truth. A highly sought life and relationship coach, professional matchmaker, astrologer, philosopher and author, I Yell It is Always I Yell It. This episode is brought to you by MtGuysMTGOX.com and U.S. Flow Coins, 800 Hot Coins, and Mezgy Grill, M-E-Z-E Grill.com. And now Always I Yell It. Hi, and welcome to the second episode of Always I Yell It. I am deeply touched and moved by the overwhelming response we had on our first show. I'm so excited and honored to have so many wonderful people reaching out, emailing me, voicemailing me, and it's really, really exciting. I am Always I Yell It, and joining me today is my co-host, Oscar. Actually, today is a special day for us. Today is the sixth year anniversary of when I drove out to Wisconsin, 15 hours nonstop to pick up my little boy and bring him back home. So today is a special day for Oscar and I. Also joining me today for the segment, for the simple truth segment is a very special guest honoring me today with her presence. We're actually mutual fans, I think. Athena Reich is a truth-based artist. She writes lyrics about love, life, relationships, kind of like what I'm doing in, I guess, book form. She's putting into musical form. She's fabulous and she's here to join us today on our segment called The Simple Truth. So thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. You know, it's amazing how we met because I read your article, The Value of Love, and I was moved. I think you're so courageous to be talking about the values and the issues that you talk about today. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Your philosophies are very courageous and they need to be said. Thank you. And so I emailed you and said, I really appreciate this article. And then we ended up meeting. And here we are. And here we are. Yes. And it was nice. And you ended up checking out my music. Yes. And so that's how we met. Yes. And I love your music. Actually, Athena is often compared to, she's fabulous. You recorded, let me just remember the specific, you're a singer, songwriter, actress. She's released five albums, five CDs. She's been, her video has been number one on MTV and, wait, wait. MTV logo. MTV logo. Her video hit number one on MTV logo. And you, am I forgetting? While I also write for musicals, the latest production was Lemon Morang and I was the composer for that show, as well as actress in it. Right. And I tour. Yes. You've toured of course North America and Europe. Yes. And her music is often, she's phenomenal, very powerful voice and her music is often compared to other artists that I'm particularly a fan of, Annie Lennox, she's been out there for a while. Adele, fabulous sound and of course the fabulous Lady Gaga, who I absolutely adore. And maybe Lady Gaga will join us someday. Wouldn't that be a blast? That would be awesome. Yeah. So, today joining us is Athena and we're going to talk about her work and her upcoming appearances and what inspires her and how she gets her creative juices going and talk a little bit about that. Sure, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. People often ask how I get inspired to write songs and... Tell me about how it started for you, like what made you pursue... I grew up in a very musical house, so I was told that my mom, I was in the womb, you know, a little baby and she brought me to a Beethoven concert and I started kicking to the beat. Really? Yeah. So, your upbringing was mostly classical music? My mother plays amazing Beethoven and Chopin on the piano and I, girl, I used to lie underneath the piano and just listen to her play and the sound that you hear when you're actually underneath a grand piano or a baby grand is much richer than when you were anywhere else. And this is a little... I could imagine. Yeah, so this is how I grew up. So, my mother started teaching me piano when I was four and I started taking lessons more seriously when I was eight and I started acting and singing and everything as a child. I asked for it when I was young. I said, I went on an agent when I was four and my mom said, how do you know what an agent is? Go play in the backyard. But I was just, you know, born loving to perform. You were born to be a star. I was born to be a star. So, and then I just, I was doing mainly all classical music as a musician and then when I was 17 my teacher said, you know, you've been practicing an hour and a half every day. You go up to three hours a day and become a concert pianist if you choose. So, piano, your primary? Yes. Wow. That's my personal favorite. My brother plays the piano. My mother plays the piano. My father used to play the piano. We were children too. Okay. I can totally relate. Yeah. And my favorite, really what moves me, another band that I'm a fan of is One Republic. Have you heard their music? Right, yeah. Because they're modern, they're pop and rock, but they have that very classical element to their music and also truth-based lyrics, which I love. Right, yeah. And of course, as you do in your music. Yeah. So what happened was my teacher said, you're phenomenal, do you want to be a concert pianist? Because you could go that route. And I, and right then I said, no, I want to write my own songs. And so I taught myself guitar and at age 16 and 17 I started playing little coffee shops in front Toronto and writing songs. And the song, I just felt I had so many stories to tell. I often will take a dream that I have and I will just transcribe the dream into a song. Wow. Tell me about one of your songs that you created that way. Well, the very first song that I ever wrote, I was 16 years old and it's called Marigold Round and Up and Down and I had a dream about a carousel and a little girl. And I was a little girl and I was going up and down and it was so fun and the carousel going around and then there's this creepy guy and he was like, going to attack me. And so I was like trying to just stay on the carousel. So it was about a loss of innocence and things like that. And I turned it into a song called Marigold Round and Up and Down. But it's really a song about hope and saying in the end things got messy and I got tainted and I lost innocence. But in the end I'm going to get back on that horse and I'm going to live life and I'm going to go up and down and round and round and ride this wonderful life. I always say everything in life is cyclical so what goes around comes around. So there you go. And then it turns out necessarily in the karma sense of the word. Life is cyclical and unless you get to the bottom you can't get to the top and the lower you fall the higher you'll be. It's almost like a metaphysical law. It is a metaphysical law and of course I'm a metaphysicist in that regard. It's a metaphysical law but it's also a physical law. And when we're leveraging anything the further back you pull the further far it's going to go. Right. In such as life. Sure. Absolutely. Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature doesn't like emptiness. So you pull back in one direction and nature fills it with something else and you go back. Absolutely. Right. Absolutely. In fact that's a very profound comment about what you just said. It touches me deeply. I wanted to say I forgot there were some points that I wanted to mention with regards to our last show. The author of the book I cited was Who Moved My Cheese. It was Dr. Spencer Johnson who wrote the book Who Moved My Cheese. I was highlighting the concept of change and reading the signs on the wall when life is happening and telling us it's time to move on. It's time for change. Dr. Spencer Johnson M.D. wrote a fabulous book. It's almost a children's book. But it really highlights how life is constantly changing and how you need to be conscious of the writing on the wall when it's time to prepare to move on. And so that's a really important theme. And the other concept that I wanted to talk about is how you just said how when there's a void something's going to fill it. And each of us has the potential to be constantly fulfilled within ourselves. And by doing so, by having that fulfillment within, looking within to be fulfilled and finding that fulfillment within, our relationships outside of us will be half the burden. Because that love we seek already exists within us. That's so true. And people that don't have that are constantly perpetually seeking without having affairs. They're lying about this. They're abusing drugs. We were talking about drug abuse last week or alcohol abuse or any type of abuse whatsoever. Anything that hurts the soul is usually an attempt to fill this sense of emptiness within, this void. And you can choose to fill it with some toxic device like alcohol drugs and whatever mode or vice you wish to abuse. Or you can get to know yourself, recognize that what you have to fill you already exists within you. Right. And emanate that from you to attract and return the love and the fulfillment and the need return that you need. It's true. And that's essentially my relationship to music. Because when I'm feeling so empty or in a lot of pain or something overwhelmed in a negative way, the only way I can find release is through writing a song about it. And then in the writing of the song, most of my music starts off in a dark place and then there's a moment in the song where I go, but I'm not going to stand for this. And it goes into a joyous kind of place of, you know, this is who I am and I'm going to rise above this and I'm going to survive kind of thing. Tell me about upcoming gigs you have. Any upcoming performances? Tomorrow I'm playing at the Googie's Lounge Above the Living Room and Jack Hardy was a very famous singer-songwriter and he passed away recently and this is a tribute show to him. Oh, how wonderful. So I attended some of his... Where is the show? Do you want to tell the audience? Sure. 154 Ledlow Street. Okay, downtown. Yeah, downtown. So take the aft train to the 2nd Avenue. And it's at Googie's Lounge Above the Living Room with Amy Emmerman. She books it. She performs. And her friends. So we have the bass player for Adam Levy, the bass player for Nora Jones is going to be performing there with us. So we have a whole lineup of people. Everybody just does three songs. And it's a tribute to him. I went to some of the songwriting circles that Jack Hardy did where you bring a song and gets critiqued. So I know him that way and that's how I'm connected to this event. So exciting for you. Yeah, very exciting. I'm totally excited for you. Oh, you're so sweet. Tell me about your tour. Tell me about the highlights of your tour when you're touring in America and Europe. Well, I toured Europe just last fall. And it was amazing. Performing in Paris, I felt that people were so easily impressed. You know, like we're in New York, there's so much talent. And in Paris they were like, Wow. What I do is so different. It's maybe what I do is very New York. I play piano. I sing. I've got a big, loud voice. You know, and people love me here. You have a big heart too. Yeah, yeah. And in Paris, a lot of the female singers sing very softly and very soft and feminine in this way. And I'm very feminine, but I'm like, New York. I'm more like Edith Piaf, actually. Like very French. Like, I'm actually extremely French, but so many of the women, the singers there, I noticed were very soft. You grew up in Toronto, right? Yeah, I'm fluent in French. I'm fluent in French. I'm not French. My background is in French. So from when they were singing. Oh yeah, okay. That's all. Actually, it's actually very French to be belting, like Edith Piaf, but there's not a lot of it. Like the women are shy or something. So I went there and I played piano and I belted out my soul and my heart and I made them laugh and whatever. And it was like the warmest reception. And I played in England and the south of England. And it was just, it was amazing. I love Europe and I'm planning going back in the fall. I love Europe. Europe is great. Europe is great. I mean, I love America. America is the place to live. New York is the capital. Yeah. Born and raised. Yeah. Oh, born and, I mean, I'm a New Yorker. Yeah. And so New York is. It's a place to live. It is the capital of the world. It is. It is. But Europe's amazing to visit. But Europe is amazing. And I'm a firm believer of world travel. Yes. That's what I love about my work too, because I travel a lot from my work as well. Right. But yeah, you have to be an American. You have to be proud of the country that you're from, et cetera, et cetera. But you don't really know people. We don't really know humanity until we experience. Yeah. And I never take a tour. I've traveled literally by myself alone. Perfect. Just myself. Yes. Well, this is before Oscar. I haven't traveled much. Not professionally in the last six years since, well, it's been a while because of Oscar. You're committed to being alive, I think. Yeah, because career-wise, I haven't had a personal vacation time. Oh, I see. And trips I take now are business trips. Right. Where I have speaking engagements. I don't have a lot of tour time, like personal hanging out kind of time, but I do love to travel. Whenever I did travel personally, it was never on a tour. It was always local color. I was soaking up the local color. It was just me alone. It's great. And it's the only way to really get a sense of the culture, what makes the world what it is. I think it's so healthy to get away from your own country and get respect, your own world. Absolutely. And even your own country and your own foods and the colors that people wear here and the fashion. Just get away from wherever you are. Go somewhere totally different. And it's so refreshing, like the foods and everything that you come back. I remember also when I was in Spain. Such perspective. Yeah, I was in Spain, and this is going to be a little funny, but I was in Spain in 92. And I'm pretty good in French. And I thereby have a working knowledge of Spanish. Right. But it was the weirdest thing. In Spain, I had such a hard time. They didn't really speak a lot of English there. Right. Most of the places I visited, English wasn't a problem, et cetera. But in Spain, I had a hard time. And I remember, but when I was there, I was just like just freedom. Ayala, you know, like just being in Spain. Spain. No pantyhose, no, you know, no bras, whatever, just casual, just, you know, Toledoed one day. Madrid another day. I was in Ibiza for about five or six days. It was a blast. And I remember getting back to New York, to the real world. And I had to, I had starting my job, you know, going back to work the next day. I had, you know, a corporate America job. And I was putting on pantyhose for the first time in like three weeks. And I was like, this doesn't feel right. I want to be free. Yes. So now I don't have to wear pantyhose anymore. Good for you. It frees you up. Yeah, exactly. I remember coming back and actually being really sad and missing the food in France. Oh, Italy. Italy's amazing. We're thinking of going to Italy. No. You have to. Thinking of going this September. I mean, totally. I love Italy. We just want to like spend a week in Rome or something. Rome is the most romantic and beautiful city. It really, really is. Yeah, we just want to eat pizza and gelato. And you have to go to Capri. Okay. And eat pasta and gelato. All right. All right. Pasta and gelato. And the seafood's great too. But yeah, I just, you know, people, there are people that say, oh, I love America. I know there's so much to see in America. Yeah. But you don't get culture. You don't get to see how and where everything, go to the source of history, the source of, you know, you can read history books and learn about, you know, the Roman Empire, but you could go to Rome and see the Colosseum. Yeah. See, it's just so fascinating to be part. And Israel too is another place I frequented, of course. Oh. And the antiquity of such an old, ancient historic place. Have you been to Israel? Not yet. You learned so much from traveling. When I was a child, my mother took me and my brother, just the three of us, and we went on a trip for six months around the world, mainly in Asia. Wow. And all, like, we were hiking in the rain forest. We stayed in villages with, like, local people. We were riding elephants. It was, like, totally rustic and it blew my mind and it made me who I am today. There's no other way to really connect with the world in which we live, which is all one. Yes. You know, there's one source and God is one and we are one with God. Yeah. The source, however you want to define that. And there's no way to really know it. Until you see it. Until you see it and experience it for yourself and taste it and smell it and taste it, et cetera, exactly. Yeah. And when people, this may seem very radical, but when people say America's the greatest country in the world, I think it's, I disagree. I think so many, I'm saying. But I, Canadians, I choose to live here. I adore New York. There's a lot about America I love, but there's a lot about Canada I love. There's a lot about Sweden I love. I mean, I love, like, so many countries and I think, why did, why don't, there's no competition. Why do we have to put boundaries or labels on them? Why would we put that, why would we say it's the best in some ways America's the best and in some ways Sweden's the best and in some ways Italy's the best and in some ways China's the best. We all have our strengths. It's like people. That's missing radical. I agree, my darling. I agree. Yeah. I actually, I support your position because I, I, I, I, I profess this. We all have strengths and challenges. And challenges. However. America, my darling, if I may enlighten you because I'm, I am a patriot American. Right. I'm a patriot American. America is an idea. Right. America is not Canada or France or Italy or Sweden. America, the United States of America is an idea. Right. That was founded by our forefathers. Right. Although Israel is an idea. Israel, my darling, is not an idea. Israel is a nation. Right. Israel is a nation. America was, Israel was a nation created by God if you will, like all the other nations and all the other people. Right. But Israel is a nation created by God and was given a constitution called the Torah through Moses, the messenger, that was received by the nation of Israel, the Jewish people, to be a beacon and to be a guide in the world. That is the distinct uniqueness of being of Israel. Israel, the land of Israel is the land of the Jewish people. The nation of Israel is the Jewish people and their constitution is the Torah or the Old Testament. The United States of America, my darling, and I love traveling and I love Italy and I can love things about France and Canada, all of it. It's all beautiful. It's all God's work. Yeah. But the United States of America is unique in and of itself and if anyone ever dares, and personally I have issues with how Israel is doing things these days because they're trying to be a little America and that isn't right. Right. There's only one America. There's only one United States of America where our constitution is supposed to be enforced and the rule of land, the rule of law, the rule of land, if you will, for us and how we're supposed to live and it's an idea that was created by man over 200 years ago where you have a melting pot of people from all over the world that come here for one thing, to be free. In Israel it's each Jewish person's right to be a Jew, free, without limitation, without inhibition, without constraints in the land of Israel. In Italy it is every individual's right to be an Italian and to be Roman Catholic or whatever the prevailing faith is or whatever it is in Italy and to eat the Italian food in France. But the United States of America is specifically the only one of its kind where we welcome people from all backgrounds, all nations, all... Canada does that too. Okay. I'm not a... Okay, that's cool. But the United States of America, well, maybe they copied us. I don't know the history of Canada so well and history is not my forte. It was just natural. I do know that, I do know the American history to the extent that the Constitution was created as an idea to provide refuge, a land of opportunity for people to come here and create a life in freedom, in absolute freedom, which is a very important message that I try to enforce in my message about life and love and living a love-centered life and living a life of wholism. Because in essence, that is freedom. You know, Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Constitution about our inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. You know, I... Sorry, I... Go ahead. I studied Native Studies, Native Canadian Studies, for a few years in college. I majored in that before switching to music. Okay. And I learned, this was mind-blowing, that the Iroquois Confederacy, the Ojibwe Nation, the Mohawk Nation, a lot of the Native American, they were Native American and Native Canadian. Correct. They all had a government together called the Iroquois Confederacy. Okay. And in their Constitution, they had a Constitution and said, everybody has the right to practice their own religion and said all these things. And actually, some of the founding fathers spent time with the Iroquois Confederacy. This is something you will never learn in any textbook unless you read your Native Studies. Okay. And if you look it up, it blows your mind. Wow. So some of... So a lot of the American Constitution was directly inspired by the Iroquois Confederacy, which has been around for thousands of years. That's very fascinating to learn. That's interesting to know and I also believe a lot of the Constitution was inspired by the Torah, by the Old Testament. I'm sure it was. It was. The rights to liberty, the rights to freedom, the pursuit of happiness. Yeah. Because any religion... It was mixed together. Any religion... I'm not a fan or a believer of religion personally because I believe religion is man-made. Right. I'm a spiritual person. I believe in God. I believe in the Torah. I believe in one God and that God is one and I believe in the Torah is the Constitution for humanity and how to live a life. It's actually living the Torah life. It's living a love-centered life. But we can't achieve fulfillment unless we are truly free. Yeah. Unless we really know ourselves and become free in our quest for happiness and fulfillment. Yeah. So that's a very important message. Yeah. But tell me... It's interesting because as a songwriter, when I write a song, I'm exploring a problem in my life and it's an issue and it's something that feels very burning. So it's something that's either been with me for a while or something that I've seen as a pattern in my life or in other people's lives. And then when I finish that song, I've somehow resolved the issue in me and I feel a completeness and a piece... somehow a piece and then when I perform it for others, then... and if you'll come up to me afterwards and that piece moved me or brought me to tears or it really touched me because I went through that and I know that I'm taking... You're learning. I'm learning and I'm teaching at the same time as I'm learning. Absolutely. So that's my work as a songwriter which is probably very similar to what I'm doing. To what you're doing. Teaching to people how to love and be truly loved. I mean, one of my... Samantha Swan is an incredible actress, who has been a mentor of mine. She says, you know, as actors, we're simply storytellers. Absolutely. As performers, actress, songwriters, or in the way you do... And you have to own the feelings. Yeah. You need to have the empathy and the passion to own the feelings in order to perform in a certain light and to be the star that you are. That's what makes a good actress is something that can actually feel what the character is supposed to be. Yes. You have to be... You can never judge the character that you're playing. Right. People say, you know, oh, this seems like a bitchy character. It's like, I don't have the luxury of judging my character. I am this character. Tell me about... I have to find the love in this character and be in her and understand her story and I have to portray it and then through that, people understand that story. Tell me about... Tell me about... You know what? We're going to take a break in a minute or so. Sure. And when we come back, I want you to tell me about some of the challenging experiences you've had. Sure. As our challenging... One of your greatest challenges is that you've overcome as an actress and been playing a character role. Okay. And when we come back, we're going to also open some of our overwhelming response to some Ask Ayelet questions right after these messages. It's great. It's going great, right? Yes. So I would like to thank our sponsors tonight. A special thanks to our very special sponsors tonight. First, I would like to thank mountgox.com, online exchange services for Bitcoins. They now take Euro, British Pound, Australian Dollar and Canadian Dollar. They have continuing fees of 0.3% now through August 9th. Also, usgoldcoins.com, 1-800-HOTCOIN, our trusted advisor for investments in rare gold and silver coins. Andy takes the mystery out of buying silver and gold by holding your hand. They take a hands-on approach. It's better to call and speak directly for current inventory. Again, the number is 1-800-HOTCOIN and mezzagrill.com where authentic Mediterranean foods meet modern flavor. Now serving breakfast at 8th Avenue and 55th Street in New York City, just a couple of blocks south of Columbus Circle. And I'd love to welcome you and invite you to please give me a jingle at Ask a Yellet, my Ask a Yellet voicemail, which is at 212-569-669 again, 212-569-6969 or you can email me at ayellet at only1tv.com that's ayellet A-Y-E-L-E-T at only1tv.com I would love to hear from you and I may very well answer your questions live on a future episode of Always a Yellet. Thank you. And now back to where we left off with we were talking about the simple truth and your your work. Right, you were curious about what was the challenging role as an actress. Yes, and how you bring the truth to life in a character you play. Right, okay. So my latest role was actually pretty challenging. I played a therapist in the plays called Lemon Morang and I was actually the composer for the play. How wonderful is it still it's off? It's off right now but it's they're doing some rewriting and it's going to come back. Wonderful, you have to let me know. Yeah, lemonmorang.com and it's actually a true story it's a guy from Long Island and it's a story, it's his true story of what happened to him as a child and it's an amazing story. It's an amazing What did you touch upon? Well he was sexually abused by his pediatrician. Oh wow. His pediatrician was he's in jail and he had dozens and dozens of cases against him and he was eventually awarded all this money by the state and everything but it was his story because he went into addiction and he was very angry and his relationships were falling apart and he had no idea why he had no memory of it. His pediatrician, his doctor said to him you have a blood disorder I have to see to his parents when he was a child I had to see him many times a week and it was a lie he had no blood disorder and in that he committed abuse to him It's really sad It's very sad but it's an amazing but the play is so uplifting I mean it sounds like it would be horrible I play his therapist It sounds like it would be horrible like you think oh my god I don't want to see that but actually the whole thing is like people came out like just smiling and they had tears and they said oh my god that was so moving and this makes me think of my brother he told me once that he was abused like it really makes you people talk about sexual abuse against women but they don't talk about it having a man who is one in six men wow and it's not they don't talk about it but this play is so hopeful because he comes he finds his whole truth and he comes to who he is and he faces himself he does he's this like tough guy guy from Long Island and his therapist is like make a collage why don't you make a collage and he's like make a freaking collage are you crazy and he wears like a collage about your life about your feelings right and he's resisting the whole time and in the end he like completely it opens his mind he forgives himself he's been blaming himself and like his whole journey so it's actually so moving and I had to play as therapist which was a really challenging role because I'm used to playing like the star and I actually work as a Lady Gaga impersonator and like I have such a blast I have a bubble dress and I'm outrageous like being you yeah but being me right so it's like I'm used to all this stuff and she is a very reserved conservative person very sweet very giving but very but basically the character Rich is so volatile he's about to explode with anger at any moment and she like really even brings herself down more so I had to be like very quiet very suggestive very giving so you weren't being I was like the opposite of me and at one point I said to the director are you sure you cast as well because I know and she just like I believe in your acting abilities that's right and I just worked and I worked at it and and I finally found her how did you find to come center I you know what it was like first I was too much too sympathetic I was too active as a therapist and then and then my director was like pull it back pull it back and then I pulled that too much and she's like you're not you and I was like what do you mean like I was me and you pulled me back and then I just I don't know I found the middle and it was really through the director Terry and she just she was like that's it that's it you know just she just clued me in now you're thinking he's in pain all about him right and then I and then people someone came up to me afterwards said you were so selfless you know and you and people who said other people who really know it was really weird watching you because it like I know you really well and it was like not you at all so the whole time they were like it was really weird other people was like it was amazing and I and I and I pulled from my own experience because I've done my own therapy and I pulled a lot like therapist talks more right you know maybe at the beginning she was a little more quiet but she talks more she's more and she gives me her opinion she has more of a personality yeah many therapists have different styles different styles but I had to be the traditional what I found very compelling of what you just shared about the play about the character rich rich yeah is that people resist and deny the truth because it's so painful and last week's show if you want to go back and watch episode one I was I had Tim Moss as a guest he's a good friend of mine yeah did a mutual just a really amazing talent and just an extraordinary human being and we were talking about we talked about denying our truth not knowing our truth and we talked a little bit about astrology and it's painful because people live most of their lives and in some very sad cases all of their lives resisting the truth and they're never happy and nothing breaks my heart more than seeing this or knowing this even personally in my life there are people in our lives they exist in each of our lives that just refuse to grow and when I say grow I mean accept the reality of what is happening to you understand why it is happening to you and learn and learn and move on get that lesson under your in your little notch and move on and create a new life for yourself that's free from the old patterns I love you for saying that my darling it's exactly what I'm trying to inspire people to do is it's not creating a new life it's creating the life you're supposed to have it's becoming that's fulfilling for you it's becoming who you are right we are here on this earth in the moment in the second we are born becoming who we are right it's all one it's all one reality it's a very metaphysical yeah kind of challenging concept to have a grasp on but for those of you and I've gotten a lot of responses a lot of emails for the more mystically inclined spiritually inclined and psychologically inclined and just regular ordinary you know people that I believe are at the dawn of an awakening we are at the dawn of an awakening right now a universal awakening it's the evolutionary process of our civilization human civilization to be awakened now at this time at the dawn of this new era and I firmly believe in in truth there's freedom and it's I'm not saying the journey will be easy no or without pain but it's worth it thank you my darling because unless you feel the pain and let go of the attachments yeah that's what this is about it's about letting go of the attachments because that's not love yeah attaching clinging possessing that's not love right freedom is love and if someone on their own free will yeah loves you back when you're free enough to be love yeah you will attract love that love will be free in that thing and then the union is you know people talk about marriage and of course I'm a matchmaker and so I'm an advocate for the institution of marriage absolutely but only when it's a true connection yes it's not a marathon marriage is not a marathon for oh I can stick it through another oh we've been together for 10 years let's stick it out another 5 let's stick it out another 10 oh we were and that's how many people live their lives oh we've been together for already 10, 15 years oh we've got two kids but you're miserable oh you're unfaithful to yourself it's not about infidelity infidelity isn't about you know Anthony Weiner going online Anthony Weiner oh I shouldn't be mentioning people's names or should I but he's been all over the world so I mean it was public it was a public display of toxic manifestations hidden in someone's psyche yeah that can't handle his truth because if he did he would have owned his position he would have owned his power and he wouldn't have had to act out in such a defiling manner yeah hurting himself and hurting the people he loved but he hurt himself a long time before yeah when he wasn't listening to his heart and being true to his heart yeah and that's what's painful he's obviously in a lot of pain if I can if I can urge anyone it's you know it hurts but sometimes the choice the path less traveled is more difficult but there's a reward in that it's like going up a mountain you get a better view thank you or it's like you know I wrote did you read the poem I wrote the gift on my website beautiful it's so moving we should collaborate and potentially maybe you can compose the music that'd be great I'd be so honored that would be amazing we should talk about that okay and for those of you out there if you go to my website always aiella.com go to aiella.media publications it's called The Gift it's a poem I recently composed and authored and wrote for someone very special to me and it's you can download it for free at this time on always aiella.com and so yeah that'll be totally because it's totally on the lines of how to find true love I mean the answers are in there and for all those readers out there anyone who downloads the poem and can decipher what the token is maybe we'll have you on as a guest and we can talk about it that's the secret code of the poem but tell me about so the play has finished up but it's going to be re-vamping in a couple of weeks yeah it is people can go to lemonmarang.com or go to my website wonderful wonderful wonderful and so now I think it's time is there something that you wanted to tell me so you're performing tomorrow night do you want me to have some gigs? yes I'll be performing in a couple of weeks I forget the exact date August something it's on my website okay it's a big show it's called logo artists live for the artists who've had music videos on MTV logo and we're doing a show at the triad theater which is a really big venue okay where is that um it's I don't even remember no what's the name of the theater triad theater the triad theater can you spell it T-R-I-A-D thank you the triad theater in New York City yeah in New York City wonderful yeah so I have that going on and I have a lot of I have this crazy and your website is AthenaRike.com A-T-H-E-N-A-R-E-I-C-H.com wonderful so tune in and the name of your most recent release little girl dreams okay which is on iTunes wonderful we all have little girl dreams we do and little boy dreams today someone was telling me oh I sound like a little girl I said yes because I'm still a little girl there's that little girl in me you and there's a little boy in each of us a little girl in each of us and we just need to become not lose the little girl in us or stop loving her but become the women and men that we are and that we are destined to be yeah so what I'd love for you can you stay for a little while longer sure what I would love to do is open up some emails from some of our readers oh great on askayela.com ask her what is it that you would like baby you want to ask a question you want to kiss my man public television I don't think baby no public displays no public displays why don't you sit and take a nap and we're going to open up some emails I was flooded it's amazing it's amazing I got some voicemails and I got some emails and I don't know maybe some of this will resonate for you maybe you can chime in on your advice as well but I think they want my advice so this is the askayela segment and let's see so many questions so many emails you don't know where to begin our first email is from Joanna from Scarsdale Joanna asks she says in your last dear Ayala in your last email you were talking about relationships that 98% of relationships are doomed for failure what constitutes a failed relationship huh that's a good question yeah what do you think constitutes a failed relationship with I mean I feel like when it ends it's failed a lot of people will disagree with me and say you should see the good in it and like all of this and I'm just like as long if I love that person which I've always chosen people that I've loved and if they weren't willing to stick it out to work it out then I do feel like it failed in a waste of my time and a lot of people will disagree with me I know they will I already do disagree with you I know I'll tell you why and how okay first of all there is no such thing as a failed well doomed for failure what do I mean the question is what do I mean about a failed relationship failed relationship means there's no love there's no win right and it's a use or abuse relationship right the relationship might still be perpetuating that's true that's a mean that you have a relationship right it means you're in a failed relationship that's true okay if in fact the relationship actually terminates and you feel like it was a waste is that what you were saying it's a success because you terminated a used you terminated that's true it was it is a success because you left it you ended a cycle of abuse right you mastered a valuable lesson in that in that relationship that's true and nothing is in vain in some cases there might be children there might be businesses there might be homes there might be possessions material things that you may have acquired along the way or things everybody gives us something right a failure in that regard right when I say a failed relationship what I mean is if you're just perpetuating and not learning or growing you're in a failed relationship and your relationship is failing but just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean it's not a failure just because you're in a relationship if there is no love if there's no win-win in the relationship and if it is a use or abuse relationship it is a failure in my view because all relationships should always be love-centered should always be truth-based should always be freedom-based and love-centered I said it already so so that's my answer for what constitutes a failed relationship if it's not love-centered it's a failed relationship ask yourself is there honor is there value is there devotion not commitment we can all be committed to each other do our obligation do our duty do our due diligence but if there's no honor for one another if there's no value appreciation for one another and in many cases it's the simple inability or the incapacity to appreciate another person it is not a love relationship to love is to honor if it's based on a lie if you're lying to each other if you're deceiving each other in any fashion even if you think it's for their own good it's not love you're doing them a disservice you're doing them an injustice speak the truth be the truth that you are and end the relationship as a successful lesson in life and move on to seeking your journey move along your journey to wholism to learning integrity and living a love-centered life and you will find someone who will love you in your entirety as I wrote in the poem exactly as you are and exactly as you're meant to be thank you Joanna from Skarsdale and I hope that you will find some solace in my answer next we have a question from Michael in Manhattan Michael writes how do you know when a relationship is over when is a time to say goodbye what do you think I think when you've exhausted when you I did believe in like trying to work really hard I believe that every relationship comes to a point I love you because you're so prototypical to my work but continue I believe that every relationship there comes to a point where you really see each other and every relationship has its challenges and if both people are willing to work together and grow together and adapt to each other then it's going to be successful and it's going to grow so if you come to those challenges and you realize that your partner or you or whatever there's an incompatibility and you're not able to adapt to each other in a way without losing who you are then it's not going to work but if you realize I'm quirky this way you're quirky this way we can work with this when you tip me off this way I'm going to do this and you do this and you say you don't have to change who you are but adapt it a bit because it drives me nuts you can have that dialogue when is it time to say goodbye when you've had these conversations with your partner and your partner basically like is not a willing participant is like I don't want to talk about this or is like is incapable incapable to do this or fights you or just like or you feel like you're adapting to your partner so much and your partner's not adapting to you because I do believe you have to grow and love together absolutely and so if you're adapting more than they're adapting if you go to my askayella.com website you will see that I write and I say over and over again it takes two two not one two whole people that's W-H-O-L-E two whole people to have a true connection a lasting truly loving relationship two whole people to have a true connection love is that the mythical completion of one another you know no one's gonna fill your void you need to be whole in and of yourself and then find someone who is going to love you exactly as you are you don't have to change a thing and you are free keyword today my darlings is free F-R-E-E freedom find the freedom to be who you are and be love for who you are and find and then hopefully you'll love someone who actually loves you for exactly who you are not what you do for them not what you represent to them nothing superficial just be and that's how you know you have that's when you have a true connection so to answer the question how do you know what a relationship is over the answer is my darling Athena is when your heart is saying to you this isn't right and I want to work to make it right that's when it's over really? really I disagree you want to tell you why? yeah because if it's truly love and you're in sympathica with each other guess what darling it's not work I know this is going to blow everybody's mind because everybody says work on your relationship work on it's not work it's love I love being here I love my show I love my work this isn't work okay yeah well if you define work that way then well that's what work is my darling right isn't it right when it's love when it's love is truth there are no conflicts there might be misunderstanding there might be disappointments but when there's love it's not conflict no no darling it's a misunderstanding and a disappointment but sometimes you have to not a conflict but sometimes you have to work not work but you have to have that it might be difficult or painful or scary to say what really happened there oh it was a misunderstanding right that's what I mean by the way and then both people say oh it was a misunderstanding agree kiss and make up right and you're moving on you're not working I talk about work okay that's not working okay that's relating yeah that's relating in a love centered manner yeah and play into the relationship I don't mean anything else other than that well okay that's how I meant for the audience if it's painful and it's making you feel like crap it's not love I mean making you feel like crap if it makes you feel like crap that's not worth it right if it's an effort it's not love that's when the relationship is over if someone just doesn't get you just doesn't get you I get an email back from somebody you know there's people that just don't they don't have the capacity to yeah as much as they want to yeah and again their desire for you or their relationship with you may not be wholly sound yeah because of the simple fact that they have a subconscious need to control or possess yeah which defies the definition of love if you go to my website alwaysayella.com and you will learn that you mustn't have the emotional desire to control or possess in the context of a loving relationship if those ingredients exist even though there's all the caring all the love all the support all the respect but there's an emotional need to control or possess it's not love end it move on find the love you need find the love you need not the love you want the love that is out there to fulfill you do we have time for one more question let's see let me see if we can make I have so many questions okay Alexandra from Toronto she writes actually she called in how do you know when the struggles you're going through in a relationship are solvable or a warning that the relationship isn't working another great question Alexandra another great question is if the the struggles you're going through in a relationship are solvable again if they are material issues Alexandra if they are something anything to do with the material world of illusion like are we going to move to California because of my job opportunity are we going to buy a new SUV because we have three more kids is it something material if your issues are material then it's solvable that's nonsense but if your issues are spiritual you're not connecting spiritually you're not connecting emotionally you're not connecting mentally you have absolutely nothing in common okay there's no honor there's no respect there's no appreciation there's no comprehension of what this other person is then guess what that's not solvable you can't fit a round peg into a square you can't fit a square peg into a circle it's just not going to happen so if the issues go to the court I always say when you have a problem don't look at the symptoms what are we fighting oh we're fighting over money money's not the problem money's the symptom go to the source of the issue dig within and you can always call me at 2-1-2-5-6-9-6-9 leave a voicemail and I will be happy to respond to it or you can reach me also for private consultations I'm always happy willing to help and I'm now running a special offer to our OnlyOneTV viewers which you can find on special events and offers at alwaysayela.com but if the answer is fundamental if there's a fundamental truth that isn't gelling between the two of you if there's a lack of truth between you your morals are different your values aren't the same if you're more exactly it's not solvable and I'm not even talking religion you can have different religions but share the same values it's about common values common goals what you want out of your life emotional compatibility just a connection that you feel divinely tuned into but I think there's also problems that are not material okay when you have then there shouldn't be a struggle true love is not a struggle but there is struggle sometimes like I don't know if people you know people just you know what people have problems they rub each other the wrong way because those are involved everything you're saying their only problems are being true to themselves and with each other so there are material problems that I agree are solvable and I agree that if you disagree on values or you don't have a connection it's not solvable you have to share values but if you have a problem in the middle where it's kind of like I don't know say somebody irritates somebody because they're always they don't love because love is accepting one two sides of the coin I think you missed the last one you have to love both sides you have to understand that there's both sides but what is growing together to you that's a good question she's asking the questions now we have our time maybe for next episode what is growing together but yeah I would love to see you again thank you so much for having me to have you as my guest and I'm wishing you all the I'm not going to say break a leg but I'm going to say knock them dead because you will and you are a star Lady Gaga, watch out because you've got some competition here and I'm really really proud of you and I really hope that we will get together but just to answer the question how do you grow you have to have a like-mindedness at the onset you have to have the potential for like-mindedness you must have potential for like-mindedness at the onset or inherent in your unique selves in order to be able to grow together so that when the challenges occur or outside influences may challenge your union you will overcome them no matter what no matter what the baggage is you will overcome them if you come from a like-minded place common values, common goals and a true honor, devotion honor devotion and value for one another for oneself and one another and that is the paradigm for true love you must have honor devotion and value as central and based on a found we must have honor devotion and value sitting on a foundation of truth if you have that you will overcome World War III you will overcome the depression of the 21st century you will overcome disease and plague and everything and your life will be so much more blessed and easy and effortless for that love that's what I was going to say is if you can overcome struggles or things together then you know it's a success it's a success if you can truly solve them no if your relationship it doesn't go this way it's not overcoming the challenge it's recognizing the obstacles on a joined path if your relationship is a challenge we need to end but if your relationship is a challenge we will continue this again soon with all my love I thank you so much for tuning in again today next week at 6pm sharp live eastern time from New York City thank you audience for joining me I wish you a love centered life and I wish you all the best in the upcoming week I am always I yell it