 Hi, I'm Matthew Coast, head dating coach and founder for CommitmentConnection.com. And in today's video, we're going to talk about five rules for a friend with benefits type relationship. And so if this is your first time to our channel, make sure that you go and hit the subscribe button to learn more about how to attract the man in the relationship that you've always wanted. So normally I don't typically talk about friend with benefits type situations because it's kind of something that I think that most women should avoid if they want something long term at all. And so but you know, if you are going to get into a friend with benefits situation, here are some of the rules that I think that you should follow. So the first rule is to treat this as like a one night stand type of thing and expect that that is what is going to come from it is some kind of situation like that. And so you know, with this rule, what I'm I'm really saying here is that if you're going to get into a casual relationship, don't do it with somebody that you see on a continual basis, right? Don't do it with a guy from work. Don't do it with a neighbor or somebody who lives close to you. Do it with somebody that lives far enough away that you don't know that you don't run into that you don't see a lot because what tends on happening tends on tends to happen during these types of situations is that somebody ends up catching feelings and that it ends up turning awkward and that ends up having to get broken up. You end up having to break up with somebody has to break up with the other person. And if you have to see each other a lot, it ends up just getting awkward and weird and a painful. And so I know some people are going to watch this and be like, oh crap, I'm already in that situation. What do I do now? Well, you shouldn't have gotten into this situation. So rule number two is that you should not try to analyze the relationship that you have together because in reality, there is no relationship there. It's just a sexual encounter that you're having with another person. And like I said before, usually somebody ends up catching feelings. And my suggestion is instead of trying to analyze and figure things out and trying to take it to a real relationship, what you should probably do instead is just back out completely as soon as you start feeling anything for this person because you're going to get yourself into a lot of trouble when you start trying to figure out how to turn it into something real if your partner doesn't or the guy you're sleeping with doesn't feel like he wants something real, which there's a good chance that he doesn't. Rule number three is to avoid turning this into some kind of friend or a date. So with a casual relationship, you want to keep the emotions back because as soon as those emotions start getting in there or as soon as you start trying to put a kind of a courtship frame around the interaction that you're having, it usually goes downhill from there. And so it's better to, if you're just going to do like a casual thing with a guy, to keep it at just that and don't make it any deeper than that because there's a really good chance that you're going to end up getting hurt from it. And so it's just a bad idea to try to make it deeper. Rule number four is to avoid expectations when it comes to this person that you're hooking up with. And so a lot of times what ends up happening is that one person or the other will start creating these expectations or these ideas about how the other person should behave or start acting around them and that's going into relationship material again or relationship territory again and you don't want to go in that space, especially if you haven't created the foundation to have a relationship because what's more likely to end up happening here is the person that you're hooking up with is probably going to start getting resentful around this and then it's just going to go downhill from there. So you want to keep everything light, you want to keep everything on a casual level. You want to avoid trying to critique this person's etiquette or unloading your baggage on him or expecting him to connect with you on an emotional level and treat him less like he's a friend of yours and more like somebody that you're just hanging out with and want to hook up with. Rule number five is to be mature about how the relationship ends or the situation ends and it's going to end and it probably is going to end as soon as somebody starts acting weird, which is usually what ends up happening in these types of situations is one person starts acting weird and then the other person usually just disappears, goes, starts ignoring them or just pushes them away because it's going to happen and you can't get all hooked up into that and this is another reason why I said as soon as if you start catching feelings, my suggestion is just to pull out and away from it immediately that way you don't get super deep in next thing you know you're falling in love next thing you know you want something deeper next thing you know he's disappearing on you and next thing you know your heart broken. So expect that there's going to be an end to it and you know if you notice like courtship things starting to happen with him or yourself that's the time to end it.