 Maximum alert! OROP, maximum alert! OROP, once more, for the loss, maximum alert! Mmm... Why are we on maximum alert, liar? Well, you're getting obvious, you mothet! You just randomly called me in the middle of my nap. No, it's not obvious. Benedict Cumberbatch has escaped! Yeah, good luck with that. Mmm... Mmm... Just go and get the stuff! Dance again, fifty dives, don't know the words. Ha ha ha! Oh, careless whisper, a personal favorite. Now, I'm just going to wait twenty years, and my cake will be ready to eat! Or maybe I should... ...check the recipe again. Well, someone's watched Die Hard. Wait, someone's got crits! Right, look, I'm going to bust down the door like a badass. So, if you are in there, back it up. Love of Morbius! Wait a minute, I hate myself. Chris, you in? Yeah. Either one of you dies, or he does. I reasonably believe that the man who kidnapped Chris is none other than Sherlock. Hence why I've gathered you all here. The last time Sherlock was in this place, we all got more time with him. Which makes us experts. Don't you mean Bendy Squid Cumberbund? Yeah, but it's annoying to call him that. It's easier just to call him Sherlock. How does this all help, exactly? Well, but it's simply being known more than most. What he's like, who he likes, and what he can do. Let's start with my six. Ah, who's he like? He's a talented, successful, and recognizable actor, loved around the world. No, I mean in the sketch universe. Oh, he's a sociopathic creep who loves murder so much, you might as well marry the ox, the definition of it. He's certainly a tricky adversary to predict. Don't worry, Chris. Even if it takes me a long weekend, I will find you. What happens after a long weekend? It's just a saying. It really isn't. I know my sayings, and that is not one of them. Wait a minute. If you insist, there's the half-top captain literal. There's something in this picture that looks awfully, incredibly, all gasmically familiar. Is it me? I mean, all gasmically is how I'm tend to be described on Tumblr. You should see what they describe me as, although it mostly involves my massive forehead and lack of eyebrows. No, in this picture it's the toilet! You can have your poo after you find Chris. Oh my God, shut up! To the toilet! Twisted things that sadistic maniac is doing to you. That's why I was told to leave after putting it under the drawer. Speed up, go for the face. Hit the tummy, and we'll hurt as much then. Where's Sherlock? Why are you helping him, and is Chris okay? Is Chris okay? Jeez, one question at a time please. I could barely produce one. I'm sorry. Wait, no, I'm not. Why are you helping that practical? He's... Spit it out! Unless you have food in your mouth, then swallow it first. What should it be today? I know, I have a salad. I'm going to get my peach-buzzy-ready. I want chips. What time is it? I think you'll be needing this. Wide load. Wide load? How dare you be so accurate! Now give me the key! Get this envelope to Smith without, and I repeat, without being seen by him. Run back to this location when you're done, and I will give you the key. You're lucky I love food, Mr. Man. It's not luck, Mr. Dix. It's knowledge. The knowledge is power. Don't be so surprised. I practically played some Ronald McDonald for Big Mac Thicke. Please, him. Perhaps I should return to the scene of the crime. You haven't been there yet. You're stupid. And you're ugly. But there's no need for that! Post to be dead. This is just what happens when you're a fan favorite character, Sherlock. You never really die. There's always a way to come back. In a pre-recorded message. In a dream sequence. Even your mind. Blimey, I need to cut down on the cocaine. Or up the dosage. Yeah, half the dosage. Now if I was a psychopath... I'm not a psychopath! I'm a high-functioning sociopath! Merry Christmas! Fun yet, Smith? Why not? Only because you said Merry Christmas. It's February for God's sake. Your priorities seem to be a little backwards. And that's coming from a guy who likes to whip bodies to test bruising after death. Oh, uh, once I've got you, no chance you can tell me where Chris is. You really think that's gonna work with me? I'm liking my chances. Well, don't. Because I'm not telling you. Oh, really? Now remember my first note, Matt? As soon as one of youlock dies, he gets set free. And I go, bye-bye. Oh, speaking of bye-bye, bye-bye! Definitely stopping watching Sherlock after this. I've got one season four, that is. Wait, why am I chasing him? Did you see him? Sherlock? No. Dammit, stupid Smith! Look, calm down. We'll get some people together, and we'll talk this through like normal Doctor Who actors all stuck in a lode together. I had a group. They've probably gone elsewhere now. No, we're still here! Oh, wow. Let's regroup, I guess. So, what's our next move? Well, going by the note, I don't think it should be completely out of the question to just do what he says. What are you, a cocoa for cocoa puffs? I just don't think it should be completely out of the question. Do you want to be the one that dies? Because I sure don't. If it's what it takes, then yes. Christ, you're a Debbie Downer today. Lighten up. It's a sketch about Doctor Who actors fighting Blendewig Thundersnatch. I'm not a Downer, Mr. Colin. I'm realistic. Capoldy's right. What? Hear me out. If he's willing, and it will save a life, why not? Stop being so out of character. He's getting ridiculous. If it's further to the plot, I'll do what I damn like. Hey guys, who put Sherlock's body in the toilet? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's funny as hell, but it's a bit weird. At least for you guys. What? What? That's not Sherlock. That's... Poli is Sherlock. He's trying to trick us into killing the real Capoldy. I think, I assume. Bang on. Oh, you are so dead. Where's Chris? You know guys, I'm not entirely sure if you're aware, but you are in no position to be asking me questions. Now I've got the floor. If you don't mind, I will tell you what's going to happen. I'm going to leave. None of you are going to follow me, and I'm going to shoot Chris in the head because you didn't follow simple orders. Remember, when this is all said and done, it's all your fault. Gotcha, Sherlock is disarmed! No, no, no. Where is Chris? Where do you think the shed? Thank you. You would not believe the day I've had. Have you been in here all morning? No, I've moved about a fair bit. First I was here, then I was in the top toilet, then I was back here. I've only just got my bloody voice back. Wait, were you here when I was getting shot by Sherlock? Yeah, I would have called out, but I literally couldn't. Mainly because you said Merry Christmas, it's February for God's sake. Your priorities seem to be a little backwards. All right, lads, the bitch is back. Now that's what I call good dialogue, Jack, you're improving. Hello, friendo. Well, that was rude. The police are on their way to pick this nut job up and take him back to prison where he belongs. Oh yeah, police. Didn't think to call them. It's not over. I don't know. Looks pretty over to me, Shirley. I came here to kill one of you. It will happen. Just not today, it seems. Yeah, yeah, just because you lost, it's all part of the plan now, eh? Plan's changed, Mr Baker. What's that supposed to mean? You'll see. Soon enough. Yeah, I should have guessed you'd come here. Sorry, lads, I wouldn't have been here sooner, but you know, I was down in a few. The next thing you know, I was high off my tits surrounded by dwarfs and listening to K-pop. In the back of some guy's lorry, he wasn't very happy. My life was in danger and you went on a boozlep. You could have saved me, then we could have both gone on a boozlep. Well, when you say it like that, you make a sound like a bunch of arseholes. That's the point! Oh, sorry. Shall I just leave the maniac with you and be on my merry, bloody way? Just get him out of here. Yeah, that's what I thought. All right, then come on and show, oh no. I'm dressed like my brother. One of you will die. It appears I just need some help. Miss me?