 Ladies and gentlemen, it's on the Gaskins here. Get this hill set up. I'm a car chronicle today at my son's soccer practice and wanted to hop on and go live cause Sunday I wasn't able to go live and after practice gotta get to bed. Got an early six a.m. flight tomorrow so I couldn't do a live tonight so I wanted to pop on here. I'm trying to do different times cause different people have different work schedules and so if I always do the same time then certain people in the blessed tribe would miss every Q and A. So try to pop on. Now to those of you in the blessed tribe I did post the other day about some topics and I think y'all for submitting some topics I've been writing those down so I can touch on those later. As I told y'all, I am a life coach for professional sports teams. Y'all know I'm a life coach and I'd be on here kind of chilling shooting the breeze with y'all but in the corporate world I'm a corporate coach working with different teams and organizations, companies and coaching the players or staff or what have you and so right now I'm working with the college teams and it's March Madness so I'll be on the road a little bit but just wanting to pop in. So if you missed the Q and A and you had any questions you wanted to have addressed just put it in here. Now put like the hashtag Q or hashtag question in there so I'll see it. My son practice is an hour and a half. I don't know if I'll be on here that whole time now but we will see. Let me see something real quick. Let me see if my camera is clear. According to God, bless you. Question. Yes, it was one topic that was very good on how to not be lonely while practicing the three B's. It was something like that. I'm gonna do an actual video on that one so I'll kind of go in a little more on that and kind of talk to you but what I want you to understand for everybody especially singles, if you're single what you gotta realize and understand is that you may be single in a season and there's something that needs to be done. So what you have to realize is the world even for those of us who believe in God there are universal laws. So it's call and response. So what you put out, it comes back to you with 10 times the force. The good you put out, the bad you put out, everything as long as the world is spinning, it's coming back. Shaquita, God bless you. God bless you. Continue the marvelous transition because of your wisdom. Thank you for your time and commitment. God bless you. Lord bless the poor and her life. Name it to you. And so what you have to realize that you may be in a season and you're saying, man, I'm feeling lonely. I want some company. I wanna be with somebody. But really what God is saying to you is you need to write your book. You need to start your company. It might be a LLC, it might be a nonprofit. You need to do that because you have, when your man comes, life is gonna get changed. Your life is gonna change, you're gonna get married. You're gonna have children. So now you may wanna sit down for a year, two years. He's gonna be taking care of all the bills and you may be 100% in mommy mode and focus. And if you haven't already done the things you need to do, like write your book, give it legs so it can be out there on Amazon selling, starting your company, where you can be at home consulting from my mentor.life. You on there got your coaching clients and you then built up your roster of 10, 15 clients. So now when your life goes into this new season, you're able to work from home. So it's not just about working on the three B's, you also gotta produce and make sure you're producing what you gotta produce, what you gotta get out there. Now, let me see, can you do a video on single women in their 30s with no kids on dating? Yeah, remind me on that. I need to write that down. I can't do it right now, but I need to write that down. Cause that's a good, and I noticed most of my clients fall in that category. Majority of my clients fall in that category. Hey, thank you, Linda. I really appreciate the appreciation. Crystal Pryor, thank you for that response. It was perfect, so on point, but it's not easy at all. I can only imagine. And you know, we have the saying, it's easier said than done. And I always say, it's easier said than done, but it has to be said in order to be done. And so once we realize that, it's gonna be a beautiful journey, won't be easy, but you gotta press through. It's gonna pay off. Sea salts, thank you so much for your blessing. How to recover if you messed up once, but he hasn't disappeared. Said he wants to be with me, even after I said we have to stop. Well, if he's still there and he hasn't disappeared and you slipped up, then you're already recovering if he's still there. And as long as you don't slip up again and go right back into that, then you're recovering. So what you have to do when you recover, what you have to do is you gotta set new boundaries. So you say, okay, we slipped up, but it's because we were at the house and we were Netflix and chilling. And then it got late, you know, 10, 30, 11 p.m. He slid on over, hand came on my thigh, went to kissing on my cheek, on my neck, on my ear, things got out of hand. So you gotta look at where you slipped up and fell at. And then now you gotta put your little yellow caution wet floor sign up right there for a little bit and you gotta set new boundaries. So you may say, okay, now what we're gonna do is we're gonna have dates outside the house. So everything gonna be outside the house and we, I'm meeting him there, he meet me there and we having us amazing date, two hours, four hours. And then we going home. And he going to his place, I'm going to my place. We're not doing anything in the house. We're not gonna be in the backseat at the lake. We might be walking around the lake. So you literally gotta go through and look at where you would be vulnerable at and where you could find yourself slipping into this here temptation and then set new boundaries so that you can work around that. Y'all hold on, now y'all hold on. Now don't post questions while I'm talking because y'all, that's how I'm gonna miss you. And if I do miss you now, you gotta copy and paste and post it again. Was dating the guy for three months, found out he was still talking to his ex. He tried to play me. I thought I created a safe space for him to be honest. I don't understand why men can't be honest. We can't even go into that. That's a whole book. That's a whole encyclopedia. Give me a whole, what things call theosaurus. Theosaurus, I need a video on why did I get married and should I stay married? Is it worth type video on marriage? Hey y'all go to that comment on the community page and write those down in the comments there and I'll keep checking back to that because I can't write them down now so I'm gonna forget. Dana, God bless you, God bless you. Chos draws over us, broke up with him one month ago. I posted a pic with a male friend. He blocked me, then unblocked me, posting a pic with his ex-wife's mom, active on Facebook, blocked me too. We are not even friends on Facebook. I am not reacting. Yeah, he's still in his feelings and that's a soul time and that's what you got to realize and you just got to understand that he going through and a man like that that's dealing with those substances, he's gonna be unstable in his ways but you got to stop checking for him cause you got to ask yourself, how do I know he blocked me on Facebook? And so you should know that. How do I know he blocked me on social media, on Instagram? You should know that. So you got to stop checking for him, stop looking for him to see what he's doing and focus on you and keep moving forward. Tabitha Lee, God bless you. Let me try to find y'all questions. While working on the three Bs, how do you say no to men who may approach? You don't have, you just say no if you're gonna say no. Okay, I'm not interested. I'm not interested or you could say, I got a boyfriend. Your boyfriend might be Jesus cause if some of these men today getting in love with Kuku for Cocoa Puffs and it's been some stuff happening with these men when you turn them down. So me personally, what I would say, if it's out in the public, my boyfriend's actually in here with, my boyfriend's actually right over there. That's what I'd be saying. I'm in a relationship, he's actually right in the car. That's what I'd be saying cause if he Kuku for Cocoa Puffs and he know that you got somebody that's right there that got you back and you really lying, you talking about Jesus, Jesus got your back. But when you say that, he like, oh, okay. Now, if he feel like you out and you just about and you by yourself, if he Kuku for Cocoa Puffs, these men getting a little irate. So have your little line in your bag already set. And this the thing now, cause in this day and age, we got to move a little different. That's why I try to tell y'all we got to move a little different in this day and age. So you can't be nasty with it. Is that how you approach women? Oh my goodness, where were you raised? You know, don't do all that. I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend and he's actually in the car. Just like that. And y'all want to get mad and, so now we got to worry about his ego and how we say it to him. Oh my goodness, why we got to do this for being? Listen, what I'm telling you is this some men that then gone, okay? And I just saw this on the news. A young lady turned the man down and he went all the way, went all the way. You hear me? Can't say all the words on, on, on YouTube. And so that's what I'm telling you. You got that. You got to move different these days. You can't be out here out of two arrogant, rude, nasty, mean. Just say what you got to say. How you aligned already? Just like the women used to give us. Alicia Lockhart, God bless you. God bless you. Pour out in a life, Lord bless her. Just like the women back in the day used to give us a fake phone number and you go up, try to holler to get that phone number and you call that number and the voicemail start talking to you. Ha ha ha, you have been got. Thank you very much for calling sucker. And I'm like, what? This one gave me the wrong number. Nah, if you, if you doing that, don't go back to the same club where you met him at. But how you align in your bag, get your line and practice it in the mirror and stick with it. But other, but the other thing about that is when you working on the three Bs, the three Bs is not, the three Bs don't have a finish line. You see what I'm saying? So if, if, if, if somebody get their body to where they want it, they can't just go back to eating Popeye fried chicken. They got to do that same work out the rest of their life. If somebody get their mind to where they want it, you're going to still have to continue to be adding knowledge. If you start your company, you still going to have to work in your company. It just ain't going to be done. So understand that the three, so at some point you're going to have to be able to say yes to a man while working on the three Bs. Now, if you healing your heart from some, you know, past situations that was painful, then that's when you want to say no to a man trying to come in your life. I'm in my mid thirties, but look extremely young like 1920 and older men don't approach me. What can I do to attract men that are my age or older? Now, let me tell you, a lot of times people sleep on the importance of appearance. A lot of times people sleep on that and we don't think about it. And we just think, oh, you know, I'm just going to be me. I'm just going to wear what I want to wear and all that. But you got to actually be you at your best. And so what you got to do is you're going to have to read you some blogs and see, you know, how I look young, how to look older. And you're going to see a million blogs on that. You're going to find some great ideas. One thing that make a woman look older to me is if she got on a red lip. If she put a red lip on and this red lip, now I don't know if you want to be fire truck red, stop sign red, but you kind of want to get a matte. You kind of want to get a matte, a matte lip. But now you need to moisturize your lips under that matte lip. Because when some of y'all put that matte lip on there, you see all them wrinkles and crinkles and lines in your lips. So you might you want to moisturize your lips. My wife, she got some little stuff that she put on her lips at night and she sleep with it. And which upset me some night cause I can't get me no kiss, no good kiss cause it's almost like thick like beeswax, you know, that people put on their dread. She put on the lip to make your lips soft. Then when she put that matte lip on there, her lip look all even. So this how I learned this stuff. Okay, I'll pay attention. So moisturize your lips and put your red lip on. The other thing that make a woman look a little older sometimes is just a little slight jewelry because young women is known to be broke because you still in college. So you're known to be broke. But when you get your nice little watch, nice little Mike Kors watch or whatever you can wherever your price range at, get your little necklace and little bracelet. Now that's brand equity because you got money to have you a few little pieces. So a man gonna assume you're a little older and you got that red lip on. And then now listen, a lot of women got to understand this now, Queens. Queens, they was adorned. They had their makeup, they had their hair, they had their jewelry. And so, and the highfalutin women, the royal women, they was adorned. So you got to realize you're a descendant of that. So don't be afraid to go to the Mac counter and learn how to put on makeup. Don't be afraid to go to makeup classes. A lot of these makeup artists is terrible how you're looking like a clown in the circus. But find you one, keep going through and find you one till you get somebody who can teach you how to put on some nice makeup that still look natural, but it's nice. Amanda Smith, I'm gonna get to your question. And so work on yourself in this season to find your look. And that's one thing that a lot of women sleep on and forget that men are visual creatures. Women are visual creatures as well. You don't want no man look like the back of a 67 Chevy. You want a man that to take care of himself, present him. First thing y'all look at is his shoes. After you look them in the face, you might look at his shoes. You don't want no man old dirty shoes. Look like he been walking through the mud on a triathlon. You want to see some nice clean shoes, some nice, you know, slacks. You want to see some clean fingernails. So the same way you could be picky, a man is times 10 that, because men are more visual. So in your season of singleness, find your look. Find your look. And this one thing you got to do when you find your look, you got to get out your pain. Cause a lot of women looking broke busted and disgusted cause they still mad with their ex. You got to stop letting your ex block your necks. Amanda Smith said controlling, manipulative, narcissists left him. It was four months, no involve. I told him, I want to wait until marriage. Will he forget about me? I thought I was a remarkable woman in his life. Amanda, will he forget about, no, he's not going to forget about you. And it was four months. And he sound like he damaged you too. No, he's not going to forget about you. He probably going to keep chasing you and keep bothering you. So if he all that, what you said that he is, then you need to keep going. Candy, brown, God bless you. Thank you, bless the Lord. You need to keep going if he all that, and don't worry about if he going to forget you or not. What you need to do now is pray that he does forget you. You need to pray that he does forget you, that he get amnesia all the way as it relates to you. Because with a man, like what you said, you really don't want him coming back and forth and trying to get you and trying to game you. Cause if he get you, it's just not going to be good. And be glad that it only lasted four months. What should I do with a marriage of five years and two kids, hubby pays all the bills and shop the groceries, but gives me silent treatment and denies me SE. He eats the food I cook, but won't talk to me. Alize, Alize, thank you for your question. Thank you for your question. Now you in a tough situation because y'all done reproduce. Y'all done brought life into the world. You in a tough situation. You gonna need some coaching, but it sound like he make all the money and so he have all the money and he control all that. So it's going to be a little tough. So you're going to have to watch all these videos. So I'm going to tell you this right here. What you're going to have to get ready to do because you might not be able to afford coaching because it sound like he controlling the finances is you're going to have to create you a exit plan, an exit strategy. This exit strategy could take six to 12 months. The beauty about this thing is, is that he is not going overboard. He's not, you know, you know the word coming at you like that. He just giving you the silent treatment and he eating your food. Now, if you want him to leave and you want to get him up out of there, you're going to get alimony and you're going to get spousal support and you're going to get child support. So understand that. So what you could do is start putting too much salt in that food on the petty side of things. Don't be cooking your best meals. Let his butt eat some gravel. Let him sit down, you know, put, do that. But on the other side of this, you need to start preparing your exit strategy. So what I mean by that is you need to get to the place to where you starting your online business. You're doing you some, some coaching, some why are you coaching yourself? You coaching other people or you getting you some, some products you could sell on Etsy. You know, you doing some of the customer service people be calling me. When the bill collectors calling me, it's be, it be a mom at a house. They got those kinds of jobs where you at the house cause I could hear the baby in the background. Ah, mommy. I'm like, American Express, do y'all vet y'all people that you got calling me? I had this woman, the leftful baby in the bathtub. And so you could work from home doing that. And that's what you got to start looking for. Google it and it's videos on YouTube about it. And what you want to do, you want to start putting this little money up, putting this little money up. If he giving you some money, if he give you money, just trying to throw your little bone, you need to be putting it to the side. Don't go. Don't go shopping and all of that. The other thing what you need to do is, Alize, is you need to get your ally, okay? Somebody you know and love and somebody who know and love you. And this ally, because see this ally might have a savings account or a credit card. So when you tell your ally, your cousin, your sister, brother, uncle, mama, daddy, whoever it may be, pastor, also Google nonprofit organizations, Google foundations that help women in whatever city you in. And you're going to see three or four of them that come up who they got grants and they got money. And what they will do is, they will pay your first and last month's rent to move you into an undisclosed location. So that's what you got to realize. Now you see Selena right here, Selena MK right there, say she own a virtual call center. Say she could help with that. Okay, that be y'all calling me then. Selena, that be your people calling me, trying to collect. So this what you got to do. Get you some at home work on the side. He don't even have to know about it because he ain't paying no attention anyways. And when you get that first and last month rent, you might even have to work on your credit if you need to do that, but don't sound like you should have many credit issues because he paying all the bills and doing all that. So at about six months to 12 months, it may take longer. That's when you boom, when he at work, that's when you could go and make a move how you got to move. And the good thing it sounds like that he is not physical. He just kind of, you know, being destined and quiet and all of that. And at the end of the day, have them boys in blue on speed dial. Y'all let me try to find another question. Okay. Knowing it's the little say her ex-husband used to be like that. She left with five children. Well, take that as some motivation. I'm looking for a question. Boyfriend cheated, broke up with me to work on himself. Now I'm friended the girl's family on IG. I know about her, but she doesn't know about me. He's been ghost for a month, but won't return my key. Change the locks. Change the lock on his butt. Change the lock on his butt. Let him keep working on himself. Tell him to stay working on himself. If he cheated on you, now you friended her family on Facebook. That means he's not working on himself. He working on him and her. Change your locks and move on with your life. We both cheated, tried to recover, but it's not working. He's not committed or consistent. I'm ready to divorce, but he says he wants his family. Have you seen this workout or should I let it go? No, I have not seen it work out. I have not seen it work out when both of y'all didn't cheat it. And then the next key word is he's not committed or consistent. And you ready to divorce, but he wants his family. Now see, women are built different than men. And a lot of y'all don't wanna believe that, but I done tested it. I know it's tried and true. Women are built different than men. Very, very few women just cheat just to be cheating. But men cheat just to be cheating. Most women cheat in retaliation. Of neglect or of being cheated on. Men can have an absolute perfect woman and cheat on her. Men could have a woman. Most men who cheat got a woman who cooking, cleaning, feeding, sucking and ducking, hopping and bopping and still he go cheat on her. It's women on average do not cheat on a good man that she is in love with and attracted to. But men could have, remember this, Beyonce got cheated on. Remember that. All the money, look decent, got all the money, high in the world, high in the world. And I coach so many women who look decent, got money, success, bring the table to the table and a man still cheat on her. It men do some stupid stuff that I just do not understand why we do some of the stuff we do. Now I've never been there. I've never been at that place. I got married at 23 years old. So I've never seen and done everything, some of the stupid stuff that I've seen done, but I used to do stupid stuff too. So what I need you to understand is when you cheat on a man, when a woman cheats on a man, the relationship over. Cause for a woman to cheat, it either mean your past, when you was young and coming up, got a lot of stuff in there or your present neglected, mistreated, cheated on what have you. When a woman cheats in a relationship, it's over with. You can find one out of a thousand or 10,000 that might work, but when the woman cheat, it's time to go. And then what you just said out your mouth is, you said, I want to divorce. When a woman want to divorce, it's over with because women, y'all built different. Y'all put up with everything. Y'all put up with so much. Y'all be cheated on left, right, front and center and still be trying to make it work. Y'all get dog died, you know, just ran all through the mud and still be trying to make it work, still be stuck on a man. So what you have to realize is when you as a woman say you want to divorce, you got to go get them papers. You got to go and get them papers, especially if he's not being consistent. You say he's not consistent and doing what he needs to do. But see, when he says he wants his family, what that really means, I see you Shauna, you say, yep, Tony, I'm tired. I know you're tired. What that really mean when a man say I want my family, but he's not being consistent and he's not working, it means he want to be able to see you and know where you at. He want to keep you stuck while he out in the truck looking for a duck. And when he find a duck, then guess what? He going to leave you stuck. And now he going to be moving on with his life and he going to leave you high and dry. You can be like, what? You said you want to work on your family. So I'm sitting up here mad and upset, tired of your butt staying and then you don't find you this. So you was really just looking for your upgrade. That's how men move. That's how men move. Trust me when I tell you, I'm a man. Cause men really on average, on average, on average don't have what it take to be alone. It's very few and special men that can be alone. Women a lot of times have to be alone by default. Might not be your desire to be alone. You might prefer love, but just the way the numbers fall, you alone. Men don't have to be alone. A man, if he want to be with a woman, it's a million and 50 million women walking around here single as a dollar bill. And so a man being alone is rare as a $3 bill. And so that's what happens where when he says, I want my family, what he's really saying, but he's not doing the work. What he's really saying is, I'm gonna keep you stuck till I find me another woman. And when I find me another woman, I'm finna drop you like a bad habit and laugh in your face for cheating on me. I have. And you like, man, you cheated on me too. And he's like, I don't care. Take that. Cause men want the last laugh. Men want the last lick. That's what you gotta understand. It's been five years. He says, he loves me now. I know he's been using me. He doesn't want me. Only what I have to offer. Okay. Now, read your question 10 times. Read your question 10 times. Your statement. Read it 10 times. Now get it in your spirit and go on and get your exit plan. Do you think God places a hedge of protection around a woman to keep unworthy men from approaching her? Three Bs in progress. If you believe in God and you pray then yes, I believe that. But guess what? The devil gonna send you a test anyways. Cause the devil allowed to test you now. He gonna, the devil gonna test you. Now God, but see with every test there's a way of escape. So God gonna give you the wisdom to get the knowledge like what you're doing. So you're gonna know a grown boy when you see one and you're gonna be able to escape that test but you're gonna get tested now. But God's protection is in your wisdom. Somebody said how to deal with rejection. And that's what you have to remember that not all rejection is rejection. Some rejection is protection because some men may find you and say you too good of a woman. Meaning you ain't gonna put up with my mess. So let me go about my business cause I'm not looking for a wife. I'm looking for a duck. And so if he looking for a duck then he's gonna leave you. He's gonna ghost you. He's gonna move on with his life. And now you blaming yourself and you feeling rejected but really you are protected. And that's what you gotta understand and realize. Shauna thank you so much for that blessing. I really appreciate it. Bless the Lord. Hey Tony, well a guy forgive you after you've disrespected or acted intense with him. No, no. He's not really gonna let that down. He's not really gonna forget that. He gonna hold that. He gonna hold on to that. Men don't really forgive. That's one thing that women have to understand is that men don't really forgive. And it's sad that it's like that. It is a double standard because women are so forgiving but men are not like that. And my daddy used to tell me and my sister, he used to tell my sister don't get mad if you hit your brother and he hit you back harder. So what I tell women is don't get mad if you choose to forgive and then he chooses not to forgive because that's his personal choice. You could choose not to forgive and to move on with your life. But men don't forgive. So you gotta understand and that's why I tell women, revenge, cheating is the dumbest thing you can do. That's the dumbest thing you can do because it's not gonna work in your favor. You're not gonna win that battle. You're not gonna win that battle. You better off just leaving. You better off leaving than trying to get revenge because when you try to get revenge, Paulette, how would God bless you? God bless you. Pull out in our life, Lord. You try to get revenge. It ain't gonna work out because men don't forgive and a man may forgive to an extent but he won't forget it and he still may make you pay for that. And the way he make you pay could be very painful. So me personally, if I do something that's real nasty, I'm trying to excuse myself from the relationship. I ain't trying to stay the weight on the get back. I'm like, if I did this to this level, this nasty, that must mean I don't wanna be with you. So I'm up out of here because if there's no respect, there's no relationship. There's no trust, there's no relationship. Our men intimidators are turned off by women who go out alone. Example, restaurant, happy hour, trying to go out of my comfort zone and take myself out but finding that mostly sugar daddy types approach. Keep letting them sugar daddy approach. Keep letting them approach. That is better to have a sugar daddy approaching you than no daddy approaching you. So keep letting them approach and then just keep swatting them like flies cause eventually a real daddy gonna approach you. A good man gonna approach you but that's what you have to realize based on the way the numbers break down, you might have nine sugar daddy's approach you and then that 10th man is the man. And so no, a man is not intimidated by a woman who treats herself and goes out by herself. That's actually very attractive to a man because it says self-confidence. It says self-love. So to a good man that's very attractive. It also says you don't need your girls and you're not gonna be the type of woman to have all your girls in your business giving you bad advice when you trying to work on your relationship. But when you always got to be up under women always around somebody, that's in the wrong message. Redeem 1352 God bless you. I ain't even see that come up there. God bless you. Tarah God bless you. Thank you. Poor out of their life, poor out of their life Lord. Relocated to a new city for a job. Attracted to realtor. I believe he's attracted to me as well. We have kept things extremely professional thoughts. Keep it professional. Keep it professional because he probably, he most likely is taken. So when a man attracted to you and he's single oh he finna come on, he finna come. You hear me? If he don't come on to you, then he like men's or he's taken. Point blank period. Or if he's attracted to you or he's in his season of singleness work on himself with God. If he's a devout man of God. If he's not a devout man of God, then he's taken or he's not attracted to you. See, they're relatively finna get 6%, okay? Or 3%. So when you single and ready and you hiding ready like little Caesars, you can misinterpret a very kind and nice man trying to get that percentage for a man who attracted to you. And he might not bit more be attracted to you than the man on the moon. So you got to understand that there. You got to understand that there. And do not try to make no move. Don't try to shoot no shot. Because he could be in a relationship and trying to be faithful. He trying to be faithful if he is attracted to you. Now y'all putting too many questions. So I just got to grab the last question that I see when I'm finished talking now. Am I not ready because I get annoyed that the man I'm dating wants to talk every night for hours. We both have jobs. I don't think it's necessary to talk every day. Says I need the sacrifice. It just mean that's the wrong man. You talking to the wrong man. If either Elba was trying to talk to you for hours every night. Or a man you think is Michael Ely or what's the boy name? Or Maura Hartwick. You know all these different type of men that y'all be going on and on about. If one of them were trying to talk to you every night. You'll be drinking coffee at midnight to stay up and talk on their phone. So you getting annoyed cause you talking to a man that's not your man. You talking to somebody else husband. He want you to sacrifice cause he looking up to you cause he know you out of his league. But then look ugly that's trying to get with him. He looking down on her because he feel like he look ugly. So that's what happened. So you got to understand that's why you getting annoyed cause you ain't gonna get annoyed with a man that you want to be with. So understand that it ain't that you ain't ready. You just you ain't ready for the wrong man. W Sandy Land God bless you. Thank you for your question. But y'all bless my spirit when y'all be paying for a question to get answers. Now that right there some loving blessings. God bless you. Well a guy respect you if you have been intimate with a close friend before him only once. He says he loves me but can never be with me but wants to continue to have that there. It has been five years. Okay. Okay. Now listen to me clearly. Okay. Listen to me clearly. Listen to me clearly. You playing yourself like a Parker game brother. Parker brother game board. You playing yourself like boo boo the fool. Right now in this very moment you look like who shot John and forgot to kill him. Right now in this very moment you is slap crazy. Now I got to get to you real and raw like that so that you really feel it in your gut. A hot crazy you look right now. You need to put your track shoes on right now and get to running. Don't even stretch drop your phone. Start looking at this video and take off running. You hear me. You need to call this man. Text this man. Send him a voice memo. Tell him yesterday was the last day. God bless you. Wishing the best for you. And then you got to go on a sabbatical detox hiatus. Whatever you got to do, you got to get him out your system. If you got to do coaching every day, every week, if you got to go meet me at the self love retreat on August 14th to the 16th. In the Redwood Mountains of California with three meals and a bed, three hot center cot with yoga and hiking and everything in between our sessions for two nights and three days. And go to that. It's on tonigaskins.com forward slash events. Tonigaskins.com forward slash events. Caramel kisses. God bless you. Thank you for posting that. And you post that on there. For tonigaskins.com forward slash events. You need to be at the self love retreat, my sister. Because guess what? A man will use you as long as you let him use you. As long as you let him use you to deposit into you. That's what he gonna do. And what he gonna do, what his nasty butt gonna do, he gonna go and contract something and bring that back to you and deposit that on you. And then you really gonna be looking like who shot John and forgot to kill him. So you got to get this thing together right now. And trust me, you gonna have withdrawals. Your stomach gonna hurt. Your head gonna hurt. You gonna feel all kind of ways because it's been five years. So understand that right now. The J twins, hi Tony. How do I let go of an ex-husband? He's so adamant. Well, listen. He wasn't adamant when he was your husband. Just understand that. Just understand that and remind him of the fact. Why you didn't have this energy when we was married. So you let go of him by cutting all ties except for the ties that y'all got together like children. That's the only thing he get to call and talk to. Other than that, mm-mm. Go on about your business. A man like to get back what he lost because as humans we hate rejection and we hate failure. And for me and the one type of rejection and failure that we can block is, a woman because we know we could chase that woman, beg that woman, bulk that woman, bother that woman. And we know that eventually she gonna get weak. She gonna break down and she gonna say, okay. Man, you still here? All right, let's try it again. So you got to cut them all the way off. Nisha, God bless you. Thank you for that. He is questioning marrying me because I have an already made family, four kids and he has none. He'd rather me have a child with him, live together, get married. Go on about your business. Go on about your business. Cause if a man questioning you and he questioning you out loud, that's a question he's supposed to keep to himself. That's a question he's supposed to take to the Lord and in prayer. That's a question he's supposed to approach the throne of the king with. But he bringing that question to you and the reason why he bringing that question to you is the reason why he bringing that question to you is because he wants to demoralize you. He wants to make you feel less than. So when you feel less than, you start to feel a sense of you start to seek his approval. Like please pick me, please pick me. What y'all call it, pick Misha. And you start being pick Misha instead of Kisha. And so now because you trying to get him because you trying to win his approval because you got four kids and you want a man and you want you a husband, you try to hold on. No, now everything ain't sold out for that retreat. Tony, everything showed up and sold out for the retreat. They ain't told me that. No, now you got to be wrong. Now go back on the atonicaction.com for slash events. Okay. And then look at the bottom or somewhere and click contact us or you might see a phone number on there and then call in and verify that cause the retreat not till August 14th to the 16th. And I like to do it with a small group like 20 people but the room could hold a hundred but I don't know unless they got limited unless there's a lot of other events that weekend on the campus. But make sure you call or you write in to the site cause that's not my site. That's not my company. It's not my campus. I'm just a speaker that'll be there for the weekend holding my retreat. And now that throw him off. So I forgot what I was hidden on on that other question. Sandy Land, God bless you. Glad you cut them all. Okay, this one, the question about questioning you cause you got a full kid. Go on about your business because he's trying to break you down so you start to seek approval and then you do things his way. And see, this is the thing is when we do some things in our life and we get to a place to where like let's say this man asked you how many men you'd been with and then you slip up and you tell him and you give him your real number which that's between you and God and what you need to tell a man that ain't none of your business because I'm not asking you how many women you've been with and I don't believe I don't expect you to tell me the truth anyway. So my past is my past. Get to know me for now. You slip up and you tell a man your real number. He try to use that against you make you feel less than, you know make you feel like thought central. And so now you start to seek his approval and see this what men try to do. Men will try to find little things that you have with you that may be an insecurity and then talk about that and point that out to continue to break you down so that now here you are trying to win him. So when a man presenting them reservations and some of y'all have asked me about that Tony is it even an option being a woman with X amount of kids and all of this it is for a certain type of man but when you sense that this man is not that type of man as soon as you sense that and you gonna sense it now you gonna sense it. Go on about your business. Go on about your business. Now y'all see Caramel kisses on here. Now she put some very important links on there and I thank you for doing that. She be supporting me just out of the kindness of her heart. She is not on my staff or anything like that. She not a plant in here. She just be showing love and supporting. So y'all read them links cause she just said pre-order a woman's influence on amazon.com. Now I need you on that. I need you to pre-order that a woman's influence cause I just want my publisher just to know and realize like listen we got a locked in. We got a locked in group that's really trying to grow. So this the thing if y'all wanna me to be able to continue to publish books then you got to get the book because it's a business. So a publisher ain't gonna keep publishing your book if ain't nobody buying the book. And we also me being a man of color they will assume that my audience is of color. And it's a saying that says if you wanna keep something from a black man put it in a book. That kind of goes for blacks in general. People of color minorities in general is not known or given credit to be readers. So we got to start changing that narrative because it's a unwritten law. So make sure you pre-order a woman's influence wherever you order books from. Some people say where do you pre-order the book? And that kind of let me know that maybe this is a first time reader but anywhere you order books from. So and a lot of people, a lot of my readers are first time readers. A lot of my readers have told me Tony this is the first book I've ever bought. Tony this is the first book I've ever read. Hey, that's what I'm trying to help because I was the same way. So I really appreciate that that love and support. Nisha say listen, I'm finna throw this $10 in here cause he missing any questions. Let me hit him with this yellow. I see you Nisha and God bless you. Thank you for that blessing. We've been together 19 months. He says, what if he marries me and then I can't have any more kids? And why I didn't pressure my children's father the same way who I was together with 15 years. So he got you in the court of love and he cross examining you right now and he got you up there on that stand. You hear me? Now, this is the thing. Okay, you gotta ask him if you can't have any more is that a deal breaker? If it's a deal breaker and you don't know if you can, then he's not the one for you. If that's a deal breaker. So that's what you gotta understand. And then number two is that's why what I tell y'all is you can't be telling a man all your past because a man ain't telling you all his business. But see when you told him, and this is the thing, this is what a lot of time men wanna find out what you done put up with and what you done been through. And the reason why is because that lets him know what he could put you through. So when you tell him you was with a man for 15 years and this for everybody who listened to this, that's was your first mistake because if the relationship, a relationship is done in after year one or year two. So if it went longer than that and y'all weren't married and somebody asked you how long y'all were together a year, a year, because that's truly how long y'all were together because you was with him. You was in a relationship with a single man. So that's what you gotta understand, okay? Now I'm holding this here thing I'm with my phone on it. They ain't gettin' a little heaven now. So y'all gotta forgive me. Bless be semi prayers, healthy, happy and married. God bless you, bless you. So that's what you gotta realize is he holding your past against you. And he's saying, hey, you was with him 15 years, not why you pressuring me. And so that's what you gotta realize that this right here might not be the man for you. When a man put you on that stand and he wanna cross the exam in the court of love and he doing all that and he trying to go, you know, he trying to, you know, get too deep on why this, why that, he finding loopholes because you gotta, he trying to say, listen, you gotta prove to me beyond a reasonable doubt why I ought to marry you. And that's not your place as a woman. That's not what you should have to do. So guess what? You got to go on move on if he's not seeing you as a wife and you shouldn't have the pressure of man to marry you. And y'all have been together 19 months. Guess what? The engagement for somebody over, for a man over the age of 25 should come between months 12 and 18. Between months 12 and 18 if he's serious about you. So here's the thing, what men trying to do today. Men wanna see they see, okay? Men wanna see they see. They wanna be able to raise children without making a commitment, a lifetime commitment to the woman. That's the bargain men trying to get because a lot of men are beginning to not believe in marriage because the world is becoming weaker and wiser and what that equals is wicked. And so men trying to get out of marriage today because it's so much that comes with marriage because what a man innately fears is that when you marry you are subject to God under the laws of faithfulness. And so a man not being married can convince himself that what he's doing by cheating on you is not wrong. But if he, but when a man gets married what happens is it's just innate to feel a sense of obligation to where you can't cheat with the same free conscience that you would if you're not married because you could tell yourself, well, we ain't married so technically it's not cheating. That's why a lot of men trying to skip marriage and just want you to have their child because if you have their child you stuck in their bondage. So what that means is he doesn't want you to be a wife. That means he wants you to be a role player. And see it's guys out there. I truly enjoy the content. Be blessed to Mika, bless you, God bless you. See it's guys out there today that have a platform that's going on major radio interviews and TV interviews and YouTube and flaunting having multiple wives. And look like somebody is slapping with wet baby powder. I mean, looks challenged men out here with multiple wives. So when a man doesn't have a character, when a man doesn't know Christ, he looking at these looks challenged men with multiple women and he like, man, this man looked like the bike of a 57 Buett and he got two wives which they really ain't married because they don't believe in the government but he got two women and they happy and they sitting down doing interviews. Oh man, that's the life. So guess what, to any man, that's the life. If he don't know Christ, that's the life. So that's why men trying to get you pregnant so that to keep you back from the praying so you can't go nowhere else but you on his roster and that's a man without a relationship with God. Mr. Gaction, I really enjoy your content and you are a much needed ally for women as it relates to knowing how men think and move. A big thank you despite the old peanut gallery. Hey, God bless you, God bless you, Tia. And now y'all know when I be talking about new women who, oh, I just be playing around cause one later she wrote me and she was like, Tony, you know, I seen your videos to my daughter and you just addressing the haters too much and you didn't stop addressing them and address the women who wanna learn. I'm addressing the women who wanna learn with the message but at the same time, you got to have fun in what you're doing. Don't nobody wanna sit on here and be a college professor doing a dissertation. I'm talking to the camera hour a day. That technically make me certifiably certifiably crazy. Who get on the camera and talk to the camera hour a day? So I got to have some kind of fun now and talk, you know, to my naysayers. Hold on now. Ruby, God bless you. Hi Tony, before booking a coaching session with you how much of my book should I have started? I have my outline and started writing one of the chapter. You shouldn't have none of it written because your outline could be wrong. And so don't do too much before talking to a professional because when you talk to me, I may be able to share with you a total different direction and what you need to be doing. So if you've never done it before you could be doing it wrong. So don't do too much too much. And that's what with the coaching, with the Arthur coaching, we talking about and I'm gonna go through and we identify your target audience, your genre, how long the book, what type of book, all of this. And then I can help give you ideas for chapters that should go in there and then teach you how you should write the chapters and give you some ideas on that. Then you can take, compare it to your notes, what you had and then do what you want to do but you're making an informed decision with some professional feedback from somebody who published over 15 books. Ms. Laredo. Hey, TG, my friend is always calling me FaceTime. Now I see some of y'all to figure it out, this right here is cheaper than coaching because the coaching session is $250. Because now Ms. Laredo, every time I go live, she come on here and get a question in here for $10. So she didn't have a whole, she didn't have five coaching sessions for $50. Now I see that's smart right there. And some of y'all got the, come on now. Hey, TG, my friend is always calling me FaceTime to talk to me about different things, even her ex. I love to talk, but sometimes I don't answer because I'm working or want to be alone. Now you, okay, thank you for that $10 now but I ain't see no question. But if you ask me what I think about it, that's good, you know, that's good. God bless you then, no answer if you're working. You ain't wrong for that. And another thing what I want y'all to think about is the same thing when you dating with friends, family, anything, you talk to people when you free. And I tell people I really don't have free time. I got work time, which is where I'm serving my purpose and I got family time. And it's gonna be hard to find me in between now. So don't get mad with me if I'm not getting back to your text message or I can't get on the phone with you. And right now, I pretty much tell everybody, I really can't get on the phone. I don't got that kind of time because I'm paid to get on the phone with my coaching clients. So I'm on the phone as a professional all day long. I don't want to get on no regular phone call just to be shooting no breeze now. And so shoot me a text message cause so I could multitask and be talking, doing something, doing this and that because one thing you can't get back at your time. So even in your dating, you got to be careful with your time. Just like the sister said, the man want to talk for hours a night and he tell him that you got to sacrifice listen and tell his butt this, is you gonna sacrifice and pay the bills when I'm too tired to go to work tomorrow? Okay then. So I'm finna sacrifice this, I'm finna sacrifice this phone call so I can get in club bed and put my head on this hill pillar and get me some rest. So that's what you gotta be able to talk to people when you could talk to them. And you know what I found? A lot of times I'm working like right now I'm serving my purpose. And then when I finish this, I'm gonna be driving. When I finish that, I'm gonna be home having dinner with my family. When I finish that, I'm gonna be sitting down having Netflix and chill with my wife. When I finish that, I'm gonna be packing my bags. When I finish that, I got to go to bed. So I really ain't got no time. And that's what sometimes people got to realize. And you got to keep them right there. The Purpose Nurse, God bless you. Thank you for that blessing. What are your thoughts on getting back with an ex if he is pursuing me now that he has rededicated himself to the Lord? We are both 28 years old and dated in undergrad from ages 18 to 22. Listen. It's a gamble. It could work. It could work, but you got to take your time with it and make sure that he's really done the work, that he's really rededicated himself, that he's really living right and doing the right thing. Cause it is a gamble, okay? It is a gamble. And maybe he's come to his senses. And a lot of times a man wanna return to a safe zone because he couldn't appreciate you. So really before the age of 25, what a man does in relationships don't really count because he just knows nothing about loving relationships or how to be a real man. So truthfully, that was kind of a trial period. And if you consider it, and if he wasn't a terrible guy, it's not the end of the world to give it another shot as long as he doing things the right way. And, but when you go in there, you got to take your time with it. You got to take your time and make sure that you give it six months at least of active talking and dating to see if he's truly matured and changed. And he ain't gonna be perfect, but his flaws should not be deal breakers. Cynthia, God bless you. Thank you for that. What does it mean if a male friend of 10 years says he loves me? He always, he has always been interested. He does love you. He does love you because when you friendship is the firmest foundation for a relationship. So he does in fact love you, but what the situation is, is if you didn't see him as someone you could be with, and he didn't press and press the issue in the first couple of years, that means y'all not meant to be together. That means y'all meant to be friends. Now what's happening is, is you got somewhere he could deposit himself. And so that's how a man is wired. That whenever a man is round a woman, his body says we need to reproduce. So it could be some love, but it's also some natural innate desire to reproduce. And what happens is, is when you get with somebody that's been your friend, it's totally different being friends and being lovers. And so in most cases, what happens is you end up losing your friend because the relationship don't work out. In most cases, I've never coached anybody or talked to anybody or got a message from somebody who they were platonic friends for 10 years and then got in a relationship and it worked out. She's acting like I'm ignoring her being a bad friend. She needs to do something. I want you to make a video about this type of thing so I can show her please. Okay, okay, okay. Now y'all, so you want me to get into the friend video space too. I think about that when I start to run out of some relationship videos and I'm also gonna start doing the Small Business Saturday videos just for those of you who look into a live a life of purpose and earn a living, living your purpose. And you looking to build a personal brand, become an author, life coach, speaker, I'ma share those things with y'all. I may create another group for the people who you working on the relationship and healing and self-love through your videos, but you want specific videos weekly about building your brand, building your business, building your other ventures with self-love. I may start a group for that in the future, but I don't know. And that, God bless you, thank you, bless the Lord. What do you do to regain his trust? He called in text, I didn't respond. He thinks I was with another man. I wasn't, now he says he doesn't trust me. We live three hours apart, says he doesn't want to leave me alone. Listen to this. You have to let a person know that they either trust you or they don't trust you. And you gotta let a person know that you're not gonna beg for they trust, you're not gonna plead for they trust, you're not trying to bargain for they trust, you're not trying to win they trust. You either trust or you don't trust. But never allow anyone, man or woman, to put you in a position to where you got to be begging for their trust. Because that is a form of A-B-U-S-E. And told y'all, you can't say all the words on him. So understand that. So what you have to realize is you gotta let him know, listen, if you can't trust me, then we can't be together. Because if there is no trust, there is no relationship. And I refuse to sit on the stand in the court of law, being interrogated by you over this here. And so a lot of times what that is is a guilty conscience because a man knows what he is doing when he's not answering phone calls or text messages. And so it's a guilty conscience because he's saying if I'm not answering your call and your text, I'm with another woman. So you must be with another man. But if he's not with another woman when he misses your call and text, he would never assume you with another man. So that's a guilty conscience and that's telling you something right there. You already getting cheated on. And I'm gonna tell you like this right here. A man cheat on you living up under your nose. A man three hours away, you got a better chance dating a man on the moon. Then dating long distance. What do you mean today? I hate to tell y'all that y'all don't wanna hear that but I'm here to tell you that long distance does not work. Unless this is a devout man of the Lord and you know God is on him. And he, I mean, you could see the olive oil. He sweat olive oil, anointed oil. You hear me? You can't trust a man further than you could throw him. Because of how we built, how we wired until he fall in love with his creator. See, I tell my wife all the time, I'm not faithful to you. I'm faithful to God. Cause he could see me when you can't see me. Cause he give me grace that you can't grant me. He give me favor that you can't give me. He got a raft that you don't have. He hold my eternity. See, man or woman ain't got a heaven or hell to put me in. Man or woman can't dictate and determine my destiny but my creator can. So that's who I live for, an audience of one. And then my wife is just a beneficiary of my relationship with God. See, if your man don't have a relationship with God, you ain't got a man. You got a human, but you ain't got a man that you could put your trust in. So that's what you got to really realize and understand and men don't like to hit it and people wanna ask me, oh, so you trying to tell me my husband who's an atheist isn't faithful? No, he ain't faithful. Point blank period. I ain't seen a man be faithful without God cause a man got to fear something bigger than himself in order to be some, to be faithful to someone he sees as smaller than himself or less powerful than himself cause a man don't fear a woman. It ain't a woman in the world that strike fear in a man heart. So in order for him to be faithful to you, he got to fear something bigger than you. Met this guy, Sabrina God bless y'all. Thank you, let me make a shot. Okay, that's Sabrina right there. Met this guy six months ago. Now I got about 20 more minutes cause when my boy come, I got to get gone. Met this guy six months ago, only once. We had a strong emotional connection being praying for him since. How do I know it's from God? From internet searches, he has three kids. I'm 25 and a medical student. Yeah. Well, see, this is what y'all got to understand about God is what God do and don't do. What God do and don't do is in the Holy Bible. So in order to better hear the voice of God, you got to read the Holy Bible. And what God says, God says, I give gifts and add no sorrow. So when God give you something, it ain't coming with sorrow. God said in the Holy Bible that he is not the author of confusion. See, God ain't the author of confusion. When you got to be confused about a man, that man ain't from God. When the man from God, for one, you ain't gonna talk to the man six months ago one time if that's your man. Because when God send you a man, that man pursuing you, he getting everything in order that got to be in order so that he can make you his bride the same way Boaz did for Ruth. Boaz had to go get stuff in order, get stuff lined up so that he can make Ruth his wife. So that's what you got to realize. That right there, what you talking about, that ain't from God. You are what they call a hopeless romantic. So what that mean is you want love really bad and you holding on to this here fantasy, the idea of love instead of the reality that you don't have anything with that man and you need to cut that and let that go. Okay, and start praying for a man that you gonna meet in med school or something of the sort. But that man right there, you got to let that go because he not checking for you. He not worried about you. He got three kids. Probably still with a mama if he not married. Nicole, God bless you. My ex wants me back, but isn't putting in enough effort. Left him for emotional cheating says he loves me. We have five kids. He's a good father. I said I'm done with him but he's not getting the message together 10 years. He ain't getting the message cause he still can message you. He ain't getting the message cause you still responding to messages that don't have nothing to do with your children. So he never gonna get the message as long as you keep responding to messages that don't have anything to do with your children. You gonna have to block everything off and now y'all got a business relationship and it's a business transaction. Now, Ms. Laredo. Okay, this sister here got a tax refund now. God bless you, God bless you. Got another question. Like my sister and other girls that seem to be in a relationship because they can't be alone. So I feel like they use friends when they don't have a boyfriend or something to do. I want you to help them. Okay, okay. Well, I thank you for helping me. God bless you. I'm gonna work on a video on that for you, but my videos really come from my spirit. So it just, you know, so y'all got to understand one day something gonna happen near the hitman. I say, okay, that's the topic I could do. Flawless, imperfection, God bless you. I like that name. Oh, Ms. Laredo back, nine, nine, nine, okay. Now, Ms. Laredo, now you starting to strike me as the charge bike type that you're gonna be writing YouTube. Oh, all that nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine. Was erroneous charges. I ain't make all them charges and be calling your bank trying to get a refund. So now I'm gonna tell YouTube, say this video on you and send it to your bank. So don't call your bank. Try to do no charge back now. But for the moment being, God bless you. And see, YouTube take good little portion of what y'all send me. And it ain't like you send it and I could cash out. YouTube, they hold that. They hold that and they send it to you on their time. About 30 days later, hey, here you go. They're blessing Laredo sent you. So they give you 30 days for y'all to call back and dispute the charge. But let me tell you, life ain't gonna go good if y'all be calling in doing them charge back now with lack of integrity. Cause you starting to strike me cause there's too many nine, 99s you didn't gave but I so appreciate you and bless you. I have all your books. I want to have a coaching session with you when I get paid. And you bought them paid for a coaching session. I am not ready to date. I want to become love and help others. Thank you, TG for helping heal me and my sisters in Christ. God bless you, sister, God bless him. God bless him. When you get paid, you, you, you blessing me like you paid already. Bless the Lord, pour it in a light. Naomi, thank you for your obedience to God. We learned. Hey, God bless you. Thank you Naomi. Tony, can you have a successful relationship while he is trying to heal from emotional and post-TRAUMA, does it make sense to stay in this relationship? Well, you didn't tell me how long y'all been in the relationship, but and it sound like you feeling the remnants of him healing from that past situations. And so if you feeling it in the present, then no, you can't have a successful relationship with that he needs to be in a place where he can manage that to where you can't feel what he has been through. If you could feel what he's been through, then no, it won't be successful. He gotta be able to deal with that in his coaching, in his counseling therapy, what have you. And if he's not doing that, it's not, it won't, it won't work out well. Nisha, now Nisha, what happened to your other question? I wonder, oh, maybe it was earlier. Known three weeks, he says I am his wife. He says he wants to be engaged for a year, then get married. He has six kids, full custody of four. The problem is he is still trying to get himself together financially. Okay, yeah. Triced shoes, yes, don't even stretch. When a man come in, let me tell y'all something. Let me help y'all understand somebody man. Let me help y'all understand somebody man. It is always, always a red flag when a man go to talk about marriage inside of six months. Inside of six months, when a man go to talk about marriage, you got to go. You hit me, you got to go because when a man wanna get married, three months in, what he looking for is a daycare director. The key word what you said is he got six and four of them, he got full custody. He looking for a daycare director who don't got the license, so he ain't got to pay you. And then what he gonna have you is running the daycare at the house. That's what he need help with cause imagine now, imagine, it's hard to take care of one. When you got to take care of four and you got to get two on the weekend, so now you got six. So you got a starting five and one coming off the bench. Oh, you stressed to the high heavens. So he looking for help. He ain't looking for love, he looking for help. That's what you got to realize about him. He looking for help, let me see. And you known him three weeks too? Oh yeah, you got all the red flags. So you got to come up with the words for him. Well, brother, God bless you and everything, but I don't think this gonna be a good fit just because I'm not in that position in that space in my life. And I'm just not really feeling relationships at all really right now. And I hate it has to be this way, but I just wish you the best and I'm gonna be praying for you and your strength, but I'm just not there. Cause that right there, that right there got a lot of red flags in it. And if you want to stay in there, take your time. Don't move in and keep your legs closed. And you're gonna see the truth within 12 months. Oh my Tars, thank you for your question. Hey, aunt, I know you say that if you have to wonder, he's not into you, but he's gone through a lot that I've seen. His trust issues make him distant at times, but he wants to meet, to talk, worth it. Long as he talking to your lips on your face, and long as he talking to your lips on your face, you can't really lose much by sitting down and talking with him. And those are the only lips that he could talk to. And if that's the case, then you just gonna have data. You just got to look at it as data, paid training and let him pay for the dinner. Let him pay for the dinner. But listen to me, a man got to deal with his mess. Don't get caught up trying to take care of and be there for a man while he's still going through his mess. It's gonna work against you. You hear me? It's gonna work against you. Trust me when I tell you. And that, God bless you. Now I see when these hip hop up, YouTube show me these here with the donation at the top of the screen. So y'all got to forgive me for y'all putting your questions in there in the regular chat. Cause these right here, they time out. So I got the way YouTube tell us to do this is to pay close attention to that. And I want to go get me that iPhone 11 today. I still ain't get the courage to go get it, but I'm sure getting ready. And I really thank y'all for blessing me to help me to be able to get that iPhone 11. And I'm hoping maybe next week I could do that. Lord willing. And that he says his last, I got by eight minutes. He says his last two relationships, they cheated on him and did the same thing, not answering. He says he loves and cares for and has sacrificed a lot for me. He was brought up in church. He called me a sheep. Oh, is he name calling? So he called you a sheep. That's an insult. That's a mighty insult. Right there now. He might've well call you the B word. At least the B word is a dog. He called you a sheep. Dog is man best friend. A sheep. That's on a dinner plate. So he called you worse. That's a sheep ain't a curse word, but what he just called you, that's worse than calling you a female dog. You hear what I'm telling you? So see this what I mean when I'm trying to tell y'all you got to read between the lines, which is called inference vocabulary word. You got to infer, okay? You got to read between the lines and see all this little stuff. And then another red flag, he bringing his past into the present. He bringing his past into the present. He giving you two strikes because of the two strikes of his exes. And then number two is, you don't even know if he telling you the truth. And they probably ignoring him cheating on him because he cheated on them. And now the other thing is, is this what you got to ask yourself? Is he looks challenged? Now, if he looks challenged, that means that he was cheated on by women that he was trying to date out of his league. And the looks challenged woman that wanted him, he didn't want her. So he trying to climb the ladder of looks and they were looking down on him, put their foot on his head, pushing him down saying, listen, look ugly, you not my type. He didn't want to hear that because he want her. A woman will cheat in that situation. A whole lot of times when she dealing with a man that she don't want to be with, that's not her type. But he keep pressing, pressing, pressing the issue. And she keep trying to throw hints to him like, listen, little buddy, it's not gonna work out, okay? And so think about that. Now, if he's not, if he is not looks challenged, then you don't know what he's telling you. And if that's the whole truth. So what you got to understand is you got to check them right here if you're gonna keep talking to them. You got to check them right here and you got to say, listen, listen, boo boo, that's what they did to you. But I'm a grown woman with minds and I don't play those games. So if you want to be with me, you can't bring your past into the present because I'm not here to unpack the last one of the issues. And that say, he's not not in that. You could have, if you joined the Bledstripe, you could have posted that message now because you see the Bledstripe opposed many times they want to now. That's Bledstripe, there's $1.99. So $1.99 less than Windows and Mike Donald. He's not looks challenged. He says sheep because the sheep, because the sheep knows God's voice. Oh, that's what he told you. That's how he, that's how he twisted listening. No compliment, but no sheep. Now, okay, if God say that to you in the word, I know that's from the Bible. That ain't why he said that. You hear me? And listen to this, tell him the voice of God telling, oh, okay, okay. And then I see what you're doing. God bless you as in the Bledstripe. Look at that. Lord, pour out a blessing on her. Lord, now since she says she's a sheep cause she hear your voice, bless her. Lord, in the name of Jesus. Now he must bless you. Thank you. Thank you. Now let me talk to Annette now cause she's in the Bledstripe and bless me on top of that. So I got to get Annette some time. Now listen to me. He tried to fix that. No, I didn't mean sheep like mindless following the blind church. I meant the sheep hear the voice of the Lord. Oh my goodness. Now you put words in my mouth. That's the same thing my ex used to do. Oh, man in heart, being a good man out here. Man, I just don't want to be cheated on. Hey, man, every time I try to love somebody, I ain't crying, I ain't crying. That ain't crying. He's like, every time I try to love somebody, they want to put words in my mouth. See, now he trying to take it, flip it. But when he said sheep, there was no compliment. He wasn't using the sheep of the Bible. Talking about the sheep know the Lord voice. He tried to flip that on you. Now listen to me now. And he called you a sheep a couple months ago before this happened. It is no reason under God's blue heaven to call no woman a sheep. For no reason under any circumstance, okay? So it just, he shouldn't made no reference to no animal. He couldn't say you a queen. He couldn't say you a descendant of Ruth. You a descendant of Esther. He say you a sheep. He know what he was trying to say. Now listen to what I'm telling you now. Cause, and see there's a thing now and this what women do. Now my son ain't getting ready to come. This what women do. And this bigger than Annette's situation now cause me and Annette know what we talking about. But the teaching point here is a lot of times men will play Jedi mind tricks. And at the same time a man will do something and it'll be a red flag and you will try to make sense of it in your mind. And you want to, uh-oh, uh-oh, caught and stalled out. You don't know how dry that sticks, yeah? Gets you some training now. You're gonna blow that clutch out. Now, and what you'll do is you'll give a man the benefit of the doubt and you'll be making up in your mind. Okay, this what he meant by that. And okay, he was hurt by his ex and that's why he did that. That's his ex fault. And you'll process that and you'll give him the benefit of the doubt and he'll be the dog you out of mistreated you. Doyle, now I can't accept any more questions after this now. So don't y'all put no more questions in there come a son finish practicing one minute. Got divorced last September, 10 years marriage. He was a nice guy, but we didn't have any physical relationship from almost eight years. You think going back to him is advisable. Didn't have any physical relationship from almost eight years. You think going back to him is advisable. No, no. And the reason why, cause you was with him 10 years. So listen, it take a man at the max five years to figure out how to make it work at the max. If it go past five years and y'all still couldn't figure it out and y'all done got divorced. Lead, lead, lead don't, don't you know, kick a dead horse. And Peter ain't trying to have no problem, but you get what I'm saying. Lead, what they say, let the sleeping dog lie. Lead that down, lead that down. 10 years you tried, it didn't work. Nine, he probably feeling, if y'all ain't had no intimacy since year eight it could have been a look, it could have been either some infidelity or an issue with little Jimmy. If he have an issue with little Jimmy and tried to move on and realize other women will not be able to deal with that issue. He may want to backtrack and go back to what's comfortable, but I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. The only time I say give another, give a man a second chance is if it's been less than two years. Because sometimes it's a little tough for a man to get it right. But once it crossed two years, if y'all gave it two, three, four, five years or more and it didn't work out, I will keep going about my business unless he touched by the hand of Christ himself. And you could, like I say, he sweat anointing oil. You hear me? He, he went Jesus sandals. You hear me? Regardless of the fashion, the way you feel the anointing on him when you talk to him. That's the only time he is an exception to the rule. If it didn't work in the first two, three, four, five years. Chanel, thank you for your question. I see you up there in the yellow. I'm always gonna see you up there in the yellow now. And then you did post your question after I said don't post no more questions, see? And that's another thing with y'all women and y'all relationships. When a man tell you, he don't want you, listen to the man. When he tell you he don't want no relationship, listen to the man. A lot of times y'all forced to issue. I say don't post no more questions now. Chanel say, I'm gonna hit him with this 10. So God bless you Chanel and I appreciate you. I so thank you for not listening to me because you came in strong with that $10. And I so appreciate that blessing. 23 years old, oh and you young too and blessing like that and you're in the blessed tribe. Now listen, first and foremost why I even answer your question. I'm gonna tell you, you're gonna be successful. 23 years old and you investing in yourself like that you're gonna be successful. Been with my boyfriend for a year. He cheated on me in August and I didn't find out until January. He has been sending things consistently. Texts and gifts stopped talking to him for two months. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, I see. Yeah, you're in a tough situation because it was less than, because it was a year. You're in a tough situation because it was inside the year. But here's the thing. If he cheated on you inside of a year you don't typically what I say when you catch a man cheating he didn't cheat it 10 times. You typically don't catch a man cheating on the first time. When you catch a man cheating it's typically the 10th time. So that's what you gotta understand first and foremost. Okay? The next thing is men hate to lose so you gotta realize that. So he could be trying to get you back only to cheat on you again. This what you gotta realize. Now he's sending texts and gifts. Now, you gotta ask yourself, do you want to and can you take the gamble? Do you wanna take the gamble? Can you take the gamble? If the answer is no, if the answer is no, here goes my son. If you can't take the gamble then you need to tell him goodbye. Austin LaVista, Austin LaHuega, I got the gold. I was in my son, I see y'all got it together. Nine. Because it's a year, remember I told you. AT, say hey. All right. Now you ain't got the deep voice now. He's trying to get a deep laugh and everything. This is my son, about to be 13 in April. Straight A's, no A minuses. Since fourth grade, when they started getting A's in the fourth grade, my son ain't had an A minus. He in seventh grade right now, about to be done. How many more report cards you got in seventh grade? Two. Two report cards left. This quarter ends on Friday. This quarter ends on Friday. And my son, straight A's, no A minuses. And I'm proud of. So the boy works so hard he can have anything he want from me. But he don't ask me for nothing. He don't ask me for nothing. But he can have anything he want from me. See that necklace he got on, I gave that to him. That necklace called me $1,500. I bless him. I keep him shining, I keep him looking good cause he worked hard for it. He earned it. He earned it. But back to the question from the little late, from the young lady and I got to go 23 years old. Hey, listen to me. When, if y'all get ready, let me cut off these masks cause I don't want nobody else to send no more money. Y'all try to send the money. Look at here, here goes Shanice. Oh, Shanice, just bless me. She ain't, she ain't send no question. God bless you Shanice. God bless you. She's showing our blessed Lord. Now listen to me now. When you getting ready, when you thinking about giving a man another chance, this what you got to ask. You got to ask yourself, if he cheat on me again, will I be able to bounce back and move on with my life? Or will I be completely devastated and ruined forever? If the answer is the latter, okay? The latter vocabulary were okay. Not the aforementioned, the latter. If the answer is the latter, then guess what? You got to move on with your life because it's gonna ruin you. But if you say, I could give him another chance cause I trust him and I love him. And if he cheat on me again, I have the strength cause I got God to be able to heal and to move forward. Then guess what? Then you could give it another chance. But understand it's a gambling. When you gamble, you might lose your shirt. Hey, God bless y'all. I got to get going and my phone only got 10% battery so it's about to die in a way. God bless you. We'll talk soon.