 Hey, good morning everyone. Some day with thanks for sharing and then her and then transcendence. Akita lost the feeling in her legs after that. She made it up to her room, but that was that. She started to disappear like Lucy. And she didn't have any green powder left to stop it. She's got cotton legs this morning. Well, this has been like, wow, we've had such a great series of retreats out here over the years. We don't know if this is the last one or not, but it has a feeling like we, we had a grand slam with all of you. It's the place goes, thanks for the memories. Yeah, this has been a knock your socks off 10 days. Just, yeah. Yeah, for us, I'm sure for all of you, and some of you, I think it just kind of in a hum or a buzz that just want to stay in it. You don't really want to move from the hum or like my related cat just gets into a deep purr. She just likes to stay in her purr. She purrs the world away. The world disappears. She really gets the motor going and all as well. So because we've had such depth and sometimes questions come up of what now or what's next or next steps, or sometimes after such a full experience, you do some things that were not clear at all start to become clear and maybe you're on the cusp of, you know, you feel like you're on a cusp of settling into something very deep. So we really felt that this last morning would be, we would just all show up and be fully available and very, very open to spirit just to join with you all very, very deeply and just let the spirit guide us and direct us this morning for a couple hours and then have a nice little closing circle and then a brunch, which I understand is going to be served down there. We don't know yet. Do you think so? We say the campgrounds. Campground, okay. So I would think probably after this discussion is best for any kind of photos and hugs and everything because the brunch is downstairs and down in the campground and then I think a couple vehicles are leaving at noon so that's best to get that in. So we just thought we would open it up with everyone and just we're open to anything for our closing discussion here and that's just what I have to say if you have anything to say here. I just want to thank the Holy Spirit because today I really planned on just serving leftovers to a few amounts of people and meanwhile I have no leftovers and so obviously the meal is really perfect. Everything we needed came together. So I think the Holy Spirit knew that we would have to make a meal even before we did. I went outside for a moment and this all hit me how just everything, literally everything we needed was there and so I said a big thank you and right after I did some noise out in the woods started rattling as if it was answering me. So here is my formal thank you and thank you for the experience. I've loved every minute of it. That's another idea we had too. If anybody had something to share like kind of like what their experience was even of the movie retreat too that's open for that. Anything and everything. Yeah I'm just in such gratitude because my experience has been that there really is no barriers to Love's presence. They just really aren't there. They're imagined and in truth they're the gateway. So yeah that's it. You were hearing from Sylvia the rest of the story and then we were amazed because I got an email from you about this is about a week and a half or something before a couple of weeks before that she wrote I lost my cook. Any ideas? So it's been going on that same kind of thing with just enough the right ingredients for the last meal and literally we have a friend in Salt Lake City who is Bruce was going to be our cook and then I lost my cook and so it's just been central casting I call it. Central casting always does a great job and then you start to really relax and you start to see that transfers to your whole life. Central casting is always sending someone in or someone out and it's just amazing and you can actually take a deep breath and relax like wow central casting is actually doing a very good job a great job. The casting has been perfect. It's like you know everyone it's just like everyone yeah like I'm saying it's a retreat but it's like it feels like it's hand picked everyone just specifically it's like you to be here and it's like I feel like on one hand I feel like I've picked each and everyone but not on the personal level but it's very like so even that was precise in a way it's just like who's to be here in a like beyond form and it's just like because this is what's giving it's like you know it's just like the vibe the vibe is so deep and you just like I could just feel it the ones that are going to make it here it's like they're going to be the ones with the full yes and their hearts and so there was like every time there was an invitation it's like I it's like I fully expected yes yes and it's like it's given you know even when I called Sylvia it's like Sylvia you're to be here but I have a like a booking it's like no you don't you're to be here it's like okay and then and then she calls back yeah I'm to be here yeah okay done it's like and like this is not random because I felt it in my heart this is not none of it is random no one no one who is invited is at random it's like a very direct specific specific invitation from the spirit and so it's been just so yeah it's been so great and then there's nothing else I feel like that's all I ever did actually I didn't even do that you know I was like if someone asked me like how did it happen what did you do I feel like I didn't do anything it was just like a very a very grand I need to do nothing just yeah yeah because when we had a call with Sylvia the call with Sylvia I was with Nikita and she was like no I can't you know I'm booked and it's not really possible and Nikita was like um no she was like very direct and and she yeah so it's beautiful she feels like she's doing nothing but spirit is really very direct and doing it very clearly and another thing was when Susan and I came to Nikita and said you know we need to plan breakfast um you know people in the world used to have breakfast she's like breakfast are you still thinking about those things so we had a lot of it was a lot of fun it was very simple and very direct to arrange this retreat with Nikita that's why it's been such a powerful experience I think because it was simple and clear and grand slam nothing short of a grand slam and the thing is it's like the the older way of looking at things is very linear and you know you're a person you got to arrange things and get there and handle logistics and everything and and quantum is more like some of you know a little bit about quantum physics and super position and how you know for years they tried to discover what is the the building blocks what's the smallest thing that all of this is made of and then they got down to the atom finally and then they started going inside the atom and they found out it was mostly space really was nothing they they were looking for like you know just like with a house that's made of bricks you know you find the cornerstone where the house started but you know you go small and small it's all it's just space it's so more like a mirage that looks like it's solid and it's all super positioned so basically it's just what you perceive in this world is like a snapshot of what you believe in your consciousness right now so look around at all of this and the canyons and everything and this is like a snapshot of your mind if you're feeling really relaxed and engulfed in love and everything then it's because that love is just radiating through you and this is just a picture it's like a postcard your mind is giving yourself a little postcard of of what it believes because the mind is always showing us what we believe and and that's good it's a good thing if you especially if you're going for purity purification you get this is like a little uh like a barometer you know what you're perceiving is a barometer so if you had a wonderful week or 10 days and you perceive lots of witnesses of love then that's a good barometer of your consciousness but it's not you it's like we don't have to think like that anymore we we have to give up this older way of thinking that of that we have a personal life that we have a personal history that we have maybe some goals and ambitions for the future the more you get into love it's that some of those future goals and ambitions start to get kind of wavy like whoa i i thought i had a clue uh what was coming next but my whole life i learned very on early on in my 20s like the 20s that that i really couldn't have a clue where things were seeming to go in the future it felt very awkward because everyone around me was like you know planning out their future and seemed pretty certain you know how i'm gonna get married and have kids and i'm gonna live in this kind of house and i'm gonna i like to live in this location and all these specific things and that even struck me when i was little because i would have friends i'm gonna be a fireman when i grew up and i'm gonna be a princess or a prima donna dancer or something and i would just kind of look around at the other kids ago you seem pretty certain you know it's like i was always how come i don't know what i'm gonna be and i never even through high school i didn't know what i was going to be when i grew up and then in after 10 years of university i still didn't know what i was going to be when i would grow up and they'd give me all these tests you know test scores to kind of test your abilities and your interest and try to you know map it all out and not michael's my scores were always really crazy funny pictures that the guidance counselors couldn't understand they'd say well we've never seen anything like that uh but we'll keep trying you know they just kept we'll find something for you we'll find something but that's our job but it didn't work out so i think yeah after watching some of these movies and everything we've gone through this week you're you're a little more loosened from thinking that you have a clue of how the form needs to go because you get touch you touch into that happiness you touch into that lightness and love and laughter and joy and that feels great you know that's something you can dive into and go for but it's a little like ooh how's it gonna look in form and i'm saying something that you completely relate to that's good you're the left track for our our filming the people will be like what's it someone's having a good time oh it's the cameraman where that came to me it was like well not even a word but it's not even a word but the only thing uh that was coming to me when you're asking about experience of even just the movie retreat was like like where am i like what's my name again like just kind of what nakita was saying like every morning it's just like where am i good like it's been so um it's been so powerful and so healing i can't remember like when this started really just like every day just so deep like every moment it's like wow so thank you really i feel even more humbled everything i thought i knew that's beautiful that you would share that too because i said the other day um that when you come for such a long retreat you get a glimpse of of our community living we call it and it's not so much describable in form um because we've even had um friends christian and pam and susanne you know writing this book modern day monk trying to put it down in words and it's been kind of an interesting collaborative experience for him it's been very healing but but even what seems to be the byproduct of all that collaboration and joining it seems to be more of a snapshot of how the community was a couple years ago two or three years ago because people in our community would read it and go oh yeah this is nostalgic you know kind of like this this is oh yeah this is how it was but but it's more that thing of losing track of of time and not really knowing where you are you're just so swept away swept up in the experience and and that means that you obviously gave yourself permission you're you gave your mind permission to to go into that to loosen from the the day to day specifics of the world and and kind of soar into that and really that's the ultimate of community living or any kind of living whether you're solo in the woods or you're in a relationship or you're in a community situation or whatever you when you give yourself permission to just soar and you just allow yourself to stay soaring that's you the means and then have come together this the soaring is the end and the soaring is the means and it's like you're you're a bird you're just up just up and the wind is carrying you you know you're not thinking about how you're going to make ends meet or where you're going to go you you don't think that these eagles that we see flying by or have a thought process of wonder where I'm going to go should I fly over there or should I fly there you know they're not into hypothetical thinking a lot of it depends on how the wind is you know they're just really going with the wind and they just will kind of just soar a lot and that and that's like a state of being just soaring so it's great that you have that because when the mind comes to a retreat or community experience and it's got expectations of how it's supposed to be it never works out the way that the mind sets it up as it's supposed to be this way or that way it's just a difficult experience when there's expectations and when you're soaring then you find yourself laughing a lot and you just feel like you've fallen in love with everything and everyone but you do lose track of time and I used to have this as I have a little peace house in Cincinnati where Eric and Ricky are going to be going and Jenny and Greg and some others but I would just be in this house it was built in 1847 and I would just get into these soaring states of mind and absolutely I lost track of what day it was I I had no clue ever what day it was or what month or year either I just gave myself full permission to go into this soaring experience and the only thing I really I mean my tripod would let me know when it was time to eat she would just you know be very vocal and so I would you know give her the food and but it wasn't like we weren't on a schedule like breakfast and dinner or anything like that and then the only thing I felt that I needed to do was to take have the trash go out because the the garbage truck would go come by once a week so I made a sign garbage tonight for the night before but then of course I didn't know what day it was so I I would put the garbage tonight like in my kitchen the thing and I would just say to the Holy Spirit tell me when to put this on the counter and then the Spirit would prompt me at some point like it was like Friday mornings was garbage trucks would go by so sometime during Thursday afternoon or evening I would get a prompt to move the sign off the refrigerator with the little magnet and down onto the counter so then when I was flowing around I would see the sign on the counter and that's how I got the garbage out it took that to even get the garbage out took all of that even a sign with the black marker and you can see there's a lot of allowance and permission in that to really give yourself full permission and you're so worthy of that soaring experience it's really that's how we were created in this soaring experience and and we're really honoring God not in words or actions but when we allow ourselves to be in that experience that's how we're honoring God because God created us like that and we're saying oh I am as you created me so that's the honoring it's not through words you know I you see sometimes on TV the Christians have the praiseathons and glory God and Jesus praise Jesus and it just goes on for our praise Jesus praise Jesus except God Jesus they don't have an ego with which to receive all the the congratulations in words their spirit and spirit is honored when we are in presence of spirit not necessarily by saying praise praise glory glory praise praise glory glory you know God knows not form God doesn't even know about words so if they think that there's some God they're going oh thank you thank you for praising me all day and all night it's like our attitude is praise to God not not the words that's just an attempt you know to to thank God so thank you for sharing that experience you're having because that's that's like the epitome of what for us true living is about is just feeling that that joyful soaring experience and losing track of time and amazingly everything gets handled look at everything everything got handled here you know isn't that amazing without such focus and concentration it's it works it really works yeah it's like prayer works it's just like it just feel like yeah i feel like there's such permission i feel it's just such deep worthiness to just allow yourself to just be in the prayer just like and it makes no logic to the world it makes no logic to you know to the you know to the logical thinking it's like prayer but things need to be done like i'd be a lot of times i felt like i like before the festival actually two months before or something i was i came here and then i was called to camas you know it was just like busy busy doings you know to be in function and then at some point i started i started feeling i had this deep feeling that i i have to go to the mountains you know like jesus i am to the mountains are calling me and the mountains it was like the symbol of deep prayer and communion i just it felt like i'm being drawn somewhere like i have to like mountains are calling it just like i have to be in that deep communion and so the same day i i just i felt like it felt like i just got teleported here i was just like oh hello and then i went into this deep experience of just like there's been a lot of days like there's two weeks where i could barely move like i would come down you know when it was like absolutely necessary when i would get a prompt but it was just like i don't know it was so abstract and then again in my mind it was like the festival i'm still to get you know i'm i'm to be running the festival and get ready and all i could hear was no you need to stay with me you need to stay with me and then from there on it just went on even deeper and deeper and then and then everything would just like i don't even know how it started to happen but there was communication but then every time every time i would have a thought of i need to do something but it's like it was just such a strong reminder you are to be with me like you are to be with me and a lot of times it's like what do you need like i'd be like okay then i need help he's like what do you need what do you need i'd be like i need help and then go ask so-and-so go go ask make a call and so that you can be back with me so the whole like the whole like the whole practice so to speak was just to be in a prayer and i would like a lot of times i would just like fall down on my knees and gratitude is like really like this is what you want me to do like this is i can just do that because it feels like so simple and and yet this is it this is the ultimate experience this is the ultimate like power of the prayer that you're just staying in the prayer and it's like an ultimate loss of control you don't know like you know like you just don't know it felt like it was a very deep letting go of the world in that like in such a way and it's and it's just the more i went with it the more it was just like this is that's why i keep calling this path i call this path of the worthy i was like this is the path of the worthy it's just it's all all there is it's just like opening up to love and it's like open like letting you know allow spirit to love you allow spirit to show you what love is like with that like let go of every thought of like what you what you think that is and just allow to be loved and everything everything that's here it that's i always say it's not about like that's what i've said numerous times it's not about the festival like it really isn't like it when i say it's not about the festival it's not like but yeah real but it is kind of sometime it just really is about like everything is being used to really to let go of the world it's like argo you know like it's a fake movie right it's just really everything is used to really these are just the festival these are just the means to escape from the world this is like the grand escape that we were like that we were all involved in like as the mind as one as this so just to allow that escape and into you know into the unknown into the vastness so yeah it's it's just amazing and and i could feel it i could so feel it that i feel like everyone had that experience here i could i could just feel it and i'm like i think i don't think i'm wrong i just could feel everyone in that state of like like vastness falling slash soaring call it either way and uh yeah because i thought like yeah this is the gift like this is the gift yeah there's a movie i've watched within the past year it was called to the wonder and i loved it was such a poetic and mystical movie but it was really about falling in love and then and then the wonder is the miracle to the miracle you know to the wonder and then then this contrast experience of of struggle or of sadness or hurt or anger or betrayal all this other stuff it was almost like the movie was like a question mark it was it was it was showing and demonstrating such spectacular love you know when people fall in love there's just nothing like that experience of just falling deeper and deeper and deeper in love and then the question mark is why does it have to be any different than this why can't it always be the wonder why can't we just live in a state of of continuous wonder you know sometimes you get a glimpse of it with children you know they're just playing and they're so gleeful and they're just running around or we're like a dog wagging his tail it's so happy it's so happy it's like it's in the wonder and then wow this other thing what a bummer you know it's like why can't I always be in the wonder why why does life have to have this other stuff in it and so I think with the spiritual pathway so to speak or the spiritual opening you start to see that of course you deserve the wonder you are worthy of the wonder and and actually you are the wonder all this talk of miracles jesus has his big big book called of course the miracles and at one point he comes out and he says you are a miracle it's like whoa you know you're reading all you're trying to get all the technical specifics you know the 50 principles and miracles are natural when they do not occur something has gone wrong and you know you're kind of studying it you're very studious you know to try to really I'm going to get this I'm going to study this study your book and I'm going to find out what this miracle is and then he comes out you are a miracle and he's not talking about personality self you but he's talking about the you the real you the the real self the capital I I the the I am this you know and so isn't that an adventure though when you start to experience the wonder and you say wow I would love to have this be continuous I would love to be in a state of wonder and that we can we can that was the the heartbreak of the to the wonder movie was the sense of isn't it a shame that it doesn't last but for me that I saw it the other way around it was like I could feel like thank you for this wondrous experience thank you for giving me something that lasts it goes on and on and on and on it never dips it doesn't dip away from itself it's it's just what it is and that truly just by devoting yourself to miracles you know to saying okay maybe I don't know that I am the miracle but can I be a miracle worker to start off with that I show up as a miracle worker and you'll take me to I am the miracle you know that's that's a wondrous life you know and there was a I think there was this the 2001 space Odyssey then there was the one that came after it what was it 2010 or the sequel but my friend Thomas St. Clair used to give me a quote from that one and he loves saying it and the quote from that movie was something wonderful is about to happen he loves saying that something wonderful is about to happen just saying it with all the the anticipation and that's really what you have to look for now look forward to in your life was something wonderful is about to happen something wonderful is happening do we have a mic sitting here looking for something I know I brought something with me it's not in my pockets and I pack my stuff up has anybody seen my cares ever there I want this but my body is just like yes yes yes yes and something so wonderful is about to happen and is happening and and I just feel like I'm trans or I have transformed from this tree this like tree to this bird or something so much lighter so much lighter I am just infinitely grateful and oh every every moment here has been so incredibly perfect every person that I've looked in the eyes every hug that I've had every scream every cry every frustration it's all just so perfect and there's just so much trust in in what's happening and I don't know what's happening and I don't know why I'm here I don't know what I'm doing I don't know what's going on and it's just so funny like just watching this ability to be able to laugh at things you know it's like everything is funny and it was so not funny in the beginning and this this yeah just language like I've I've always been this mover and feeler and talking to yeah love love so much love it's like whoa like love love it is so it is so present and and I'm just you know I'm really learning that I was so afraid of love and and I've always you know I've always wanted to give it and receive it and I have but here it's like it's just totally surrendering to like fully being in it and I just have to say something about language as well because yeah going back to this feeling moving self you know conversations with people it's like I I just didn't want to talk to so many people because words words were always weird for me and they still are and I feel like I found a sense of being home here because it's like language is like so so like it's just a little tiny part and it I just feel like uh accepted here and then totally lost and not lost and oh just really grateful is the only really what it comes down to just so grateful for every experience and for opening to the Holy Spirit and listening and yeah like losing losing feeling and really surrendering to this spontaneity that's like well and all the help that's been given willingness to ask for help like it's just so I don't have any control anymore and I really love you all so much I love you spirit always finds us where we are and speaks to us in whatever language we need to understand obviously the Holy Spirit found me in the kitchen so that that parable of having everything you need is something I needed to learn personally and I was reminded of that every day especially in this last meal we're having together so I can't think of a better gift seriously thank you all from the bottom of the my heart thank you to the Holy Spirit for making it possible yeah it's always precious to me because Sylvia and I had corresponded some and you would really pour it out like like it was almost like the the rug was getting pulled or the floor kept dropping out like doing the things you'd done before and it had worked and then they're not working anymore and then putting effort into this and then it's like an unwinding or a there's a there's a I think it's the second of the stages of development of trust where Jesus says it will seem as if things are being taken away from you and that could be a very disorienting phase when you think you've played by the rules and you you're pretty good at making sure you have the right stuff around you and have your act together and all the stuff that we're taught is to be a mature functioning adult citizen and everything and then when that starts to fall apart and like that old there was an amusement park ride called the rotor and if you ever rode on the rotor but you would kind of it would spin around and you would have your body pressed against the side and then the floor would drop out you'd be like there was no solid floor underneath you it was it was kind of that centrifugal kind of force or whatever so I can see Sundari now you can see why she goes all over the world because her favorite ride is a little girl with the rotor she's like bring it on drop the floors all the way through my life but that was good having gone through that yeah you're still there but having had those correspondences and then then this invitation with Nikita and and your booking kind of getting handled and everything because underneath is like you wanted an experience like show me show me spirit I can't make any sense of what's happening you know as as hard as I try I can't make any sense and and then that's exactly the prayer of your heart you know God knows the prayer of our heart before a word is spoken so for me it's fun sometimes with those correspondences and then you know to see you just kind of reveling in the kitchen going here and even this last brunch and everything like it's like spirits saying okay I will I'll show you you ask for this yeah and then your confidence starts to soar and then you're more open to that soaring experience you know that's where it's just heading but you needed this this was you know very important so I thank you for being so open and transparent thank you for even writing to me in the first place I know a dear friend of mine nook you've got a make a retreat coming up with her too she wrote the end of death and so it's just what an adventure you know tell nook Nikita says hi crack a willingness you know where you were saying I don't understand what's happening and you had a crack of willingness when Nikita said I see you here and yeah that's a little it's all it's a little crack is always necessary a crack in the armor a chink in the armor and then the light streams through I'm here um last night I had a lot of uh loss really feeling deep loss abandonment um a lot of hatred like what like feeling like what's the point of joining with people if you always just end up alone and I mean it was just it was so intense I didn't I didn't even know what was going on I would I wasn't even doing it I can't even say I was doing it there's just a flow of hatred for hours and like I didn't I didn't want to pray I didn't want to think about anything except hatred I think it's past a little bit now and this morning I woke up and I walked up to the bathroom and I met Diana and she said that if I wanted an answer from the spirit and I said yes and she said she was she she came here to meet with someone and that she had woken up this morning and the spirit told her it was me and um that I could come with her and um the other part of that story is there's kind of there's an ungratefulness feeling like I don't I don't want to do that it's like make it obvious make it obvious is there another option if I could just share because the rest of the story as you continue last night Zach and I were in with Lisa Cairns and Ludwig watching a movie and I was just there for a few minutes but he said Jason can I stay and help clean because Marissa is staying and helping clean I heard in my mind probably not probably not and I'm like but what do you feel you know because you can't just be here unless you really feel they say well I just have no other choices and I'm like that's not the reason to be here this is like a Buddhist monastery where you've got to know it's your passion and so that's Ludwig Ludwig was did not want to come in a personal way but was impelled to come here so he shared his story and I felt like you really heard it and you're like actually I don't want to be here you know but you're just like scared that something wouldn't come in so for me this is just miraculous to hear you being activated this morning it's yeah it's pure this was actually six weeks ago I was told even before six weeks ago it was it was already set Zach's answer was waiting six weeks to happen you don't need to know nothing isn't that cool it's so cool to be here but at the same time there's there's like this if I really feel into it it still feels like I know and it kind of makes me angry it's just like you haven't realized it yet I think there's a context for all this it helps it's pretty early on in the course of miracles workbook where Jesus says in in no situation do you perceive your own best interest not in some it's very humbling he says in no situation do you perceive your own best interest and it sits with what I was talking about the movie last night that everything's backwards and upside down and it's like those old the old Poseidon the Poseidon movies you know Poseidon adventure where every the ship capsizes and now everything's upside down the chandeliers are on the floor and there's these big ballrooms and you find yourself on the floor which was the ceiling and now you're on the floor with a chandelier I mean what do you do with the chandelier how does the chandelier help you when there's a pocket of air and the ship is capsized and it's all dark and so your you know chandeliers on the floor and then where are the doors these big rooms way up at the top got no ladder and the door is up there everything is capsized and that's what this world is and that's why it it seems you know difficult to navigate probably you've been feeling some of these feelings most of your life especially you know in the teenage years where you're saying what is this place how did I get here and how do I get out of here you know it's because everything is upside down it's everything is the mind is capsized upside down it's got all kinds of pockets of things and forces going on in emotions at times you want to just check out find a way to just check out of it and avoid it but you know as you're going through this and you're just opening and opening and opening it's it's actually you're just given what you need but help me to open up to the idea that in no situation did I perceive my own best interest and then in the next lesson he says an amazing thing he says everything is for your own best interest everything without exception every no every yes every invitation every turn down everything is for your own best interest and that is reminiscent of all things work together for good you know that that there's a state of mind in which you experience that everything and has always been in your own best interest there was never anything out of place it was just misperceived from an agenda from an expectation from a misperception it was never nothing ever went wrong ever but it was just a misperception but it just takes true humbleness you know there's an arrogance thinking that you know something like there's a situation that presents itself and then the mind goes well at least I know this and this and this and the spirits going no you actually don't even know that now some people ask me that that seems a little extreme in no situation do you perceive your own best interest and and why is that so can you give me a reason David why why that is so because reality doesn't have situations that that we now asleep and dreaming have found ourselves in what seems to be a situational world in fact if you go into pentagon room they have a room called the situation room you know basically life goes on and then when something happens that seem to be wrong or dangerous they sometimes they they say let's meet in the situation room mr president we've got a situation what is a situation what is a situation even mean it's situational thinking is hypothetical thinking so you have to see that the mind is addicted to situations you know it breaks the world into manageable parts and they call those situations and then when something goes wrong in that situational thinking it goes crisis conflict problem but this is how deep the rabbit hole goes that that as long as your mind still thinking in terms of situations and still into those hypothetical what ifs what ifs what ifs it's it has no clue of what the truth is it has absolutely no clue so that gives you a little context for this it's almost like you know you've got a blindfold on and you just hold out your hand and you're blindfolded and you have one prayer in your heart let's take my hand but your eyes aren't aren't able to even see who's taking your hand or what direction you're moving in because the mind is so blind so to speak in this world that it needs a lots of help to be led back into the light and all you do is is is it's okay the blindfolds okay you know you can trust just hold out your hand and say I need some help and and that was the prayer of your heart you could do it verbally with the group or you could just go to the to the bathroom and have that prayer in your heart and and have it show up very obvious either way it's just I have a message to help you Zach we have like a very direct message to you I heard like when I didn't even I just met like you said down but like at the I think it wasn't a movie you sat down and and I was just like I had no idea about who you are where you're from but I like and all I heard was you need to help yourself and the first step would be stop drop the drugs drop the drugs and every time and from then on every time I'd hear it's like drop the drugs like that's all it would be so direct so I thought I'd share that with you drop the drugs I haven't been using cigarettes but I think that's what you need because like every time I see Jason have a cigarette and because I haven't been able to connect with you I just hear no more weed no more need like you've you came here you know you met me in Boulder and you literally just like ran out to the car right as I was leaving said I want to come I gave you my card and you came and you followed you took your steps and one of your first questions when you came was I don't even know your question to be honest all I know is I heard this story of this young man that met David one time and went into a group and just could read everybody's mind and he was like so in touch with the private thoughts of the world but we had a much deeper calling and you know you don't fit into this world you're seemingly 18 years old and you're having all of these experiences that we talk about and you you're have a rapid calling to go much deeper and I'm just we're just saying if you want to answer that call it's realized you have no idea what your best interests are and you've got Diana ready to take you the next step and you can go past that those private thoughts really quickly by letting go of the weed and let the spirit like pull you through it the weed was just a a thing to like to help you deal with it and the spirit has a plan for you you know like Charles Xavier yeah Charles Xavier exactly yeah in our movie X-Men you know he he he was so open and so telepathic but he was like picking up all these thoughts and emotions from everything and everyone and he couldn't deal with it and he he's basically would say I can't deal with their pain and then he was told their pain is your pain and and that's how we have to face it we have to forgive it we have to release it because there is nobody out there even though when we seem to pick up people's thoughts telepathically in emotions it's just a step and then of course he he was so angry that he lost the use of his legs that he found that if he you know used this drug in high doses that he could get the use of his legs back but he would not hear all those voices and he would lose all of his psychic abilities and his powers but then of course you know Wolverine is sent back and really joins with him and says we need you you know to find you know a mistake we need we need you for the plan for we need you for everything we're here for so he literally let go again of the use of his legs so he could tune in at first he was like I can't do this that's when he was told it's not their pain it's your pain and you know it was a beautiful there's a lot in that movie that really relates to what you're going through the answers are all all there and and all your mighty companions are here to support support you in in accepting your function I was hearing a lot too I can't remember what section is David maybe if you remember specifically with that section that talks about you you can't judge your advancements for me retreats or something like that not necessarily there's not even just for myself in this moment I just was like really hearing that like I don't know but then I also started just thinking about like I know I just know it feels good like holistically starting to know more and more when it's like this is some kind of flimsy little give me give me give me give me a taste of something versus no like I'm clear this feels good and there's lessons available and I'm open to them and I'm not gonna clench right now I don't need to clench yeah in well I was living in Scotland when I crashed and had a motorcycle when I got out of the hospital in Scotland everybody's drinking and and especially the people I was with so but when I went to drink the alcoholic reception switched and I couldn't stand the taste of the alcohol but um it was like I guess the people pleased him I kind of because they kept saying push through it push through it it starts drinking again right and I'm just wondering because we were just talking yesterday about weed I'm saying you know I got some weed back and asked me I don't think I want to smoke it you know but um but if I do pick it up but I hope it tastes like like something really bad you know that's all just signs and symbols so when when you are really opening your hearts for healing and you say make it obvious then we've all had that experience where something comes in a in a contrast way to get our attention you know sometimes it's just a little hint that it's gone we've gone as far as we can go with that symbol not that anything's bad or wrong it's just we've we've used it it's we've gone as far as we can go with it and there's much much more in terms of our opening our flowering our awakening and it happens with everything it happens with relationships sometimes you're in a relationship and you can't even see it coming but it there's an abrupt shift that comes a jarring kind of thing and it's and initially the Holy Spirit when the mind's so addicted to judgment and hypotheticals and situational thinking it's almost like the mind sometimes needs like a depth charge you know or what did they call that an inception a kick you know when you when you're in so many layers of dreaming layers upon layers upon layers upon layers you've forgotten that you're the dreamer of the dream you're just way down on the screen and in some kind of seeming situation and you need a kick some kind of jarring thing to get your attention to to go oh wait what what is this that's that happens that happens quite often or rug pulling you call it that getting the rug pulled out you know it's at the time that ego is experiencing it as a devastation but you know when you go past it and all of a sudden things start to open up that you didn't even see you start to go maybe this wasn't such a devastation maybe this was a wake-up call and it could be like a sharp wake-up call even and then there comes a point where you start to feel gratitude like well I I actually needed that wake-up call and then things start to fall away you know not that you have to wrestle with them and call them a vice and and like battle with them but but as you as you start to awaken and you get deeper into your purpose and more clear than things that once seemed important just naturally start to you know like water off a duck's back it just it rolls off kind of crack the joke at the movie um thanks for sharing because I used to be pretty easy getting girls and like for like the last year there's like been a dry spell the joke that I made at the movies was you know how watching all your videos you know the be passers-by and I said it at the movie yesterday pass her by the spirit turns it around because from a dry spell into okay it's working pass her by okay um I'm listening to everybody and then David was referring to symbols and and my symbol in my life is so obvious to me anyway um I'm sitting here really thinking oh yeah in every show I for the last 18 years I've been working with the persona of the bubble lady and so I would invite all the families and kids and everyone to come to bubble land with me just want to go to bubble land and so I'm sitting here thinking have I arrived in bubble land here where every bubble gets burst all the bubbles are being popped before I was blowing the bubbles for others to pop them and all my bubbles are being popped it's really cool it's really really really cool but also the symbol of transparency in the bubble you know there's something there there's the veil there's that you know in the attraction the attraction to the beauty and attraction to the lightness and the mystery and you know what is it that we are attracted to so many people's in the bubble but you know you can go on and in the depth of it's not necessary I really just wanted to share that I think I've arrived in bubble land and I'm ready to have my bubble burst so thank you I love you all you're all part of you know everything bursting bubbles will pop each other's bubbles break it destroy what's not real yeah David you were talking about how sometimes spirit brings it abruptly and I didn't know when the process began that it was the abruptness but a little over a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer and had to make a decision about treatment and all that and and I really knew that a horrendous as it was going to be I needed to do it but it was for for a deeper purpose than saving the body because I didn't believe that it was really a problem but and now I see going through that process and allowing these toxins and horrible things to happen to the body that the medical world does to save the body I needed that process to break into the depth of fear that I was trying to work through on my own that was the abruptness and then afterwards in the recovery at some point you know I went back to work and could hardly do my job and I began praying for these mighty companions I mean big mighty companions to come not just people who did the course in my neighborhood or in my community and then Chris and Val showed up and and it was a glorious two months of learning and joining and seeing and the contrast when I would go to work during the day and coming home and they're there I mean the contrast was so great and then what began to happen and just now I'm saying oh my god that's what's been going on I'm having a harder and harder time to do my job my brain is you want me to do this report you want me like my brain can't engage in it anymore and before my brain stopped being able to engage in these tasks my mind was saying why am I doing this why do any of us do this what's the meaning of this this doesn't mean anything and then the idea of food preferences started to follow away I was vegetarian had to have this and that and it's like it doesn't matter and then clothes preferences and earrings and they just like you were saying it's just naturally it just starts to fall away they lose their meaning and they're really internally there are relationships that have meaning but they don't they're not holding me now and all I know is I'm going back into an intense I'm not even going to say intense but a lot of activity to go back to work tomorrow but it really feels it's time to go and was that Jenny no someone else oh yeah well I heard it in Jenny's mind because Jenny has been a reflection of that for me for a number of years and the process of leaving the government is kind of you do this and this and this and so I'll do this and this and this and and in my mind I thought before the doing of that okay I'll volunteer and hopefully they'll accept me okay maybe I'll do this and okay and and being here it's like I had no idea all I know is I need to do the paperwork to leave the job that's all I know and that's by their requirement in order for certain things timefold and in the past in my life I would run away I say I'm not doing it I'm just leaving I'm just leaving and I run to another man to another relationship to another place and when I moved to Berkeley I ran away from Pennsylvania and I said I will not run anymore and so the commitment is to be an integrity with my whole environment to walk away in peace and not blame anyone for this except that it's my time to go I have no idea what I'm supposed to say I just know I'm supposed to speak sorry blank I'm learning that blank's kind of a good thing here I hear application form and he hears Mexico what I hear that yeah well I've been hearing from the Holy Spirit your life's going to be like st. Francis I wasn't really liking it too much a little bit it's like it's um yeah that's yeah it's been such an amazing experience being here with all of you and there's so many things that you know this this power of this joining and this this love of the recognition and the celebration of this joining what's already joined is so blessed and I'm just beginning to learn really what that means to give over completely to that trust in a brother like this expectation that you spoke of David and the pain of that and this fear of expectation and this week has been such a glorious lesson in really accepting I didn't really understand what was given I'd always felt like this is what you want to give me and I'm realizing that's really what I asked for what's given is what I've been asked for and I've just been given more than I could ever imagine from all of you in terms of just yeah accepting that that really love from my brother like you know all these supposedly strange things that might happen in the world and there would be a brother right there I mean it was so many miracles I couldn't even cry without a beef Kleeneck showing up it was just out of space somehow and and and yeah what a glorious glorious gift to to be in that trust and to see this reflected everywhere that that's in the moments when it's known that that is what is how precious that is so I boy the glory of the reflections here yeah I don't know what to say I guess these things are I'm learning they're all beyond words and I will share one thing also that I have so much deep gratitude that you've helped me see my brothers Jason and all of you because it was something to say and to hear from the spirit but to truly begin to just get this because this grace because of what you shared and the Holy Spirit's been saying to me all week that grace son of God unedited by thought and begin to really believe the truth and that and see the truth and that is I'm so grateful you know and to have faith in that so I thank you for it and I thank you for the invitation to be with my brothers so I love you thank you just one more thing to add to what I was saying is that it's it's it's not that I'm leaving anything you said I'm being called home so there is it just a shift in my mind to see it that way it's not about anything being wrong anywhere it's simply being called to come home thank you all so much and I feel I used to feel like a part of this community and now I feel joined in this community thank you everyone everyone beyond the everyone my journey started in April when I went to the quantum love tour in Kansas City and all I can tell you is follow the prompts I mean amazing the signs that I was given and the stirring the stirring the restlessness saying where I was what that I'm kind of teasingly telling myself I was a trophy wife not on a big scale but on a smaller scale in Missouri and from the outside it looked like a perfect life but on the inside I thought of suicide and when I told my husband he turned around went and played golf and did not take that seriously and I thought okay something's got to change and I called a girlfriend and I said I neither got a check-in check out or head to a monastery and I don't want the monastery to be an escape and so I knew checking in meant drugs checking out meant recycling back again and a monastery sounded very good because I wanted the peace of God so bad but I said make it obvious I don't want this to be escaped because I didn't like the life I was in so I sat in silence and I heard spirits say then create it and I said okay what do I need to do and I have been thinking about a divorce and I'm just going what am I going to do you know do I start over again this was my third marriage the first one was a divorce the second one was he got cancer so here I am again in my mid 50s had to start again but start where so um my husband said on the Friday well I'm going to a golf golf tournament said fine he wasn't even telling me what he was doing anymore we just got to be roommates separate bedrooms silence we would go out to dinner we had nothing to talk about he came home on Sunday and I said honey we've got to talk I said I can't keep doing this anymore and um I said I wanted divorce we had another house that we had downsized so we still had two double house payments for two years and um this is the funny part so I'm going through spring field okay after I asked him for the divorce in two weeks I we got agreed that on on the divorce we sold the house out of the blue and I got a new job that I hate that because I hated the one that I was in I was a dialysis person I hospice has always been my love so this job just appeared all in two weeks those three things because I said god okay I'm ready to walk through that door of fear what do I do so I thought okay I'm going back to hospice that's my comfort zone I'll be happy everything's good okay I go to this hospice and I'm driving 100 miles one way hopefully to get back to Joplin two days after I get on they said they sold the company okay so I thought I was going back to a company with good management and the management was good but when the new people came in they just turned it upside down again and I mean it was just total chaos insanity and I'm going I can't do this anymore it's it's crazy I would just sit there and watch everybody run around feverishly trying to people please this new corporation and I'm going it's not in me anymore and I dreaded you know when I when you're in hospice you love getting up in the middle of the night to go to a death call because you know it's a sacred time and even my even my beliefs about death has changed so much since really studying the course but I when I was in at the first cycle I really thought I was helping them go home to God and to me it's always been a very sacred time for the patient and for the family and so this time around it was like it it it wasn't there the heart wasn't there and there was just that churning that churning ever since I had met Kirsten and and Ricky and and Helena that one day it just just something switched and I just couldn't get you all out of my mind and I started watching YouTube and I started watching you know listening to Spreaker and I mean that's all I did I lived in my office plugged in to my computer and I just knew that this had to be it and so I was in Springfield heading to Republic to see my patients at a nursing home and I stopped at a stop light and a van drives up and says messenger plumbing so the same day you know what then I'm so well I have lunch first so I stop at Wendy's and I'm having a bowl of chili and there's a place mat and it says strawberry field salad okay so I went to the nursing home and on the way home the same day the same day okay this is voting year there's three signs it says vote for Jeff messenger three in a row so my friend Sharon Brown which who's down in Mexico I text her all this she goes follow the proms how the hell am I gonna follow the proms I got you know and so at that time you know I had already committed to my husband I'd stay with him for a year get financially out of debt because what I wanted to do was come here to community totally out of debt with total commitment in my heart wide open so I go home and I mean this after seeing those promises follow the proms so after a couple days I'm just going and watching what's going on in my job and I'm going oh I can't do this so I went ahead and texted Helena and Kirsten and and um Ricky well Ricky and hell uh Ricky and Kirsten had just taken off to go to California and they said call us call us and they said well we just found out someone else has taken a jump from California and she may be going down to um to Mexico well you know you might be going down there too and I'm going oh no I can't I got a trip to grand came in with my husband I've already made these commitments and I she said fill out an application so I got off the phone got went home that night filled out the application turned in my resignation and told my husband that I'm leaving in two weeks and it was you know just a few days before strawberry started and then then I said okay I'm going to cut my losses I'm going to ask for this amount of money in spirit said ask for five more ask for five more thousand than what I was you know cutting my losses so he kept the car I I signed off everything the divorce the house the car everything took I was going to take two suitcases and and patrice I called patrice I heard patrice was coming in at the same airport and she says no cut it down to one suitcase I'm going how do I take my whole life from what I did in two weeks down to one freaking suitcase okay so now I'm nine pounds over and I'm giving away my clothes and my phone so I don't have to pay that extra money going to Mexico so that's been my journey all I can say is follow the prompts I mean everything just fell away and you know my husband you know I know he's sad that I'm gone but he wishes me well he we knew that we couldn't stay together because our our our interest changed his was golf and mine was God okay so we got we got the first two letters right you know and and he knew that and then he goes he goes well I want to come back another lifetime and I said honey I'm going with David he says it's this lifetime this is what I want you know so I mean everything just fell away my daughter she's autistic she's kind of sad about it but I'm you know I gotta kind of wean her off it wean me off of her but she's doing okay and then my son's heading to Guam on the 19th in the Air Force so I mean everything's just fallen into place so I know this is where I belong and I thank every one of you for showing me the love and the acceptance and the challenges and the mind games that I have to clean out and things have come up that I never expected but there's always a mighty companion for me like I was saying I wouldn't trade the world and I said yes I would trade the world for this so follow the prompts that's great well the three of you sitting together too it's like Serena okay does he boom boom boom he goes down oh a triple a triple punch grand slam because it's practical application it's really going for it these are witnesses you know how they say give me a witness you are showing some witnesses here whoa that's powerful sit on four months now before that I just felt such a deep deep deep deep calling to to serve and to extend I've been studying a course for some years and but I've never been in a study group or or anything like that never talked to someone who had done the course before never been to every treat so everything always by my own but I felt I can't go on like this it's it's something something must happen so I I had been seeing the web page for some time and I said yeah I think this is something for me so I contacted Jenny by email and the title was to serve I just can't compromise anymore and we had a talk and came here yeah it has actually been my best month in my whole life without any doubt at all the other night there was the film Lucy and I I just felt I I can't watch this film I I want to I have so so much to to to extend and I just think like watching films all the time it's that's not what I want to do I want to do the films so I had a talk with Salita and he said yeah you can go outside sit here for a while then you can go in again if you want but I didn't want to go in so I went back to the cocoon I'm meditated and I got this so strong strong prompt like you had to start right again and a few nights before I had told some some of the guys that yeah I was writing novels and poetry and stuff and and I said I will never do that again I don't feel like that maybe if I could do it with somebody then it's everything would change but I'm writing alone again now never but then I felt this this thing coming down on me that I yeah you're gonna write again I asked Salita if he could call up Jenny so we can have a talk and I went to her cabin and Francis came and and yes they said go ahead you don't have to watch all the movies if you want you can you can write and because well even being here with all the tasks and everything I've been feeling that I can't get it out from me what I really have to give and and yeah they said yeah you can go on and do it so I went back to the cabin I started to write some poetry and that felt so good to you just even if it's just words and even if no one ever gonna read it but it feels like I could start to extend as I wanted and I don't know if it's gonna keep on like that maybe I won't write anything more but I'm so happy to be here and being able having the opportunity to to share everything that's being downloaded I want to upload so yeah it's about it some very very great grateful to all of you and to the Holy Spirit that had has guided me to be here with all of you so thank you thank you Francis is coming now she says there's four in a row she's like throwing her arms up yeah yeah yeah yeah that was Francis's life you all are giving virgins of yeah yeah I did it you did it we're all doing it I'm so grateful to everyone who's really it means just I can see myself it's just me and I feel like there's an invitation it's been coming I feel real loosening of something and the letting go of something I've been feeling a lot of resistance leading up to strawberry fields for a while kind of going in and out of glimpses of something and beingness and then kind of moving right into a fear lots of fear and resistance and anger and I I just feel so grateful right now and I feel like there's an invitation to be to step more fully and I have to admit it came with two of Serena's shareings two different times and it's so interesting because we've really been joining a lot during this time it's been very powerful in her expressions and her sharing there's been a real transparency and honesty I mean the honesty is like nothing's held back and it something in me really it's like she's in a way it almost felt like she was doing it for me but I also feel there's an invitation for me to step into that just nothing held back expressing exposing just letting it go and that kind of willingness and commitment I can feel there's a commitment and I can feel in that word there's some fear commitment yeah and I can feel right away what's coming is even in making decisions sometimes I can feel I have to make the decision and then there's a kind of a like a little dance that happens and it's like I just it's not me making the decision it's I want to step into the certainty I want to step into that surrender and I can see even in stating this and sharing this it is a bit of a declaration and there is a little yeah a little fear in that but I also feel that there is an invitation here and that I needed to state it out loud and say that I see there's an invitation and that I'm willing or I'm willing to be willing whatever willingness there is here I'm willing to step into this thank you everyone because I know I didn't do it didn't arrive where I am in this moment alone this was an everyone everything moment right now last year after strawberry during strawberry last year I was more raw than I am this year or but and I remember wanting to come and find community and safety and I wanted to hide wanted to hide again from everything I was feeling and after I left I didn't know where I was going to go or what I was going to do I had a son that was moving to New Hampshire my daughter was in Evanston I just was clueless I just knew my kids and I knew that we had to somehow separate or we wouldn't heal come out of this and I literally for six weeks did not know where I was going and and I think I remember at one point saying to David I said I don't want to go back to Indiana or I I don't know I just said it to the group and I would kept praying please send me any place but Indiana and what happened was there was a vocational rehab for my situation and there was a program that if I came there and study they would give me housing and the program that I was to go in was the way of forgiveness there was a woman down there that's been teaching a course of miracles for 25 I don't know 30 years in the church within and so I moved down there in the first four months true to my form I pretty much went to class and then just went home and just kind of stayed and prayed and do my thing and and I again I was praying I said you know God help me help me get out and get out and meet people and do things and I was doing a lot of meditating and I get this message from Thomas St. Clair that he was feeling a vibe to come to Indianapolis and he wanted to come to Hermitage and I'm there was like okay what's spirit up to you know now what's going on you know and um he ultimately came out um from month and pretty much you know did his thing and I kept trying to go out and meet people meet different people in the community and um one of those groups was this place called a playful soul which I really love because they're just like really crazy people music and dance and all this stuff and um what I really like to do is play and dance and um the woman there asked me if I wanted to begin a class with movement and dance and and my mind was like no I can't ever dance again I'm not ever dancing again I'm not doing it um so long story short um through this time that I've been in Indianapolis for seven months it's like I'm connecting with the Buddhist faith the Muslims what I call the new ageers my hippie friends that are out in the fields and serendipity and clover's dale and then louise with the course and miracles and um I just find it interesting how much I've been begging for community and it's all around me and um but I sure would like all of you to come out there and visit me anytime you want to in Indianapolis so um I can't be here please come make community everywhere with me I think I just want to share one thing because yeah when Danny said he wrote to me I want to serve and I had been in this prayer because we had this old motorhome in sweden and we needed someone to help us to sell it because none of us were there you know and then I was like how do we do this we have motorhome and everything and then I got this email from Miracle Center and it was Danny and and it said I want to serve and I said okay thank you and please help us and he he actually sold that motorhome like I think like in the week for us this is beautiful I think it went fast because he wanted to come here yeah we will be extending a lot I've spoken at the church within there in Indianapolis and I had friends still there in Indianapolis and and it's yeah not that far from Cincinnati where the peace house is I would launch out so there's lots of of that extending coming and and it's beautiful to just have invitations like that to just sharing community is really sharing in the heart and rejoicing together and and uh it really it just gets so into that soaring experience that it's beyond time and space it's beyond location you know where people say what are you doing locally and sometimes I know I'm like locally what is what is local I don't understand local anymore it's the rabbits are you hearing something about rabbits you know it is like we're here so the rabbits are our local community I'll go out and see see you preaching to the rabbits but yeah that's that's kind of our vibe right now we don't really know you know what's happening in form at all either so um but it does feel like a real extending vibe so yeah keep us in mind that way I know um yeah next weekend Francis and I are we're heading to the the bay area then we're coming over to um Iowa Cedar Rapids Iowa and then the following week I think I'm flying to meet Patrice is picking me up at the airport and then I'll go back stay with Patrice and Anita then then we fly to Mexico for that retreat down there and we were going to mention that Mexico retreat yeah next uh it felt it felt good I just had a feeling that we should really announce that the next celebration is happening in Mexico so if there is a if there is a desire to keep going with this deepening to keep going with the vibe like to keep going with this um learning of this new way of thinking like to learn to think anew Mexico would be the place and the retreat is from the last week of September yeah yeah last week of September yeah so um yeah I just felt like such a it felt like a big prompt in my mind to really announce that to everyone because I kept hearing here and there it would be mentioned oh by the way we have retreat in Mexico I was like oh yeah by the way everyone we have a retreat in Mexico it's happening right after like soon after this so everyone is really everyone who feels the draw this is like this is it this is it the person that got me into this program after I got settled into my apartment uh the person that got me into the program got fired and there's no one they've never done this for anybody to have this kind of program where they pay for your housing and so forth and Louise Dunn was the founder of the church within it's kind of interesting things show up and it's in amazing ways and it's just the perfect thing for you and it's takes it away from yeah thinking things we have props that show up and then they disappear and then we're like wow that prop was just here for me that little thing okay I think Patrice will have you wrap it up for us because we wanted to get some group photos too and have a little circle out in the sunshine before the the brunch yeah I just wanted to extend that there's there was never a decision to go to Mexico it was told and I just heard so there was a call that said I'm going to be there can you pick me up said I don't have a car but I'm sure Anita will let me borrow hers and then you said yeah I'm going to fly out to Mexico and then the words were oh I think I'm flying out with you and that was there was no decision to be made and that's really what it's felt like it was just I'm informed what I'm what the next step is or what I'm to do and I don't know why I don't know how I just yeah it's just the willingness to yeah anyway so the only thing I wanted to extend was just that it's it doesn't feel like a decision that has to be made other than just to hear and and follow the calling and that's all well that's a perfect way to wrap up we're all going home and we're just listening and following the calling thank you thank you all