 For the safety of your smile use pepsidon twice a day see your dentist twice a year Lever Brothers Company presents the pepsidon show my friend Irma created by Cy Howard and starring Marie Wilson as Irma with Joan Banks as Jane Friendship, friendship, just a perfect friendship, when other friendships have been forgotten, there's will still be hot Application for life insurance under name I wrote Jane Stacey under description I wrote Brunette 5 feet 3 brown eyes under sex I wrote female My roommate Irma Peterson filled out the same application under name. She wrote Irma Peterson Description blonde 5 foot 3 blue eyes and under sex. She wrote none of your business Not at all This is comparatively mild for the adorable little blonde I share quarters with for example I happen to remark the other night that there's a new car coming out with the motor in the rear and Irma said in the rear. Oh, that's going to be so confusing. What do you mean? Well, supposing something goes wrong with the car you left up the hood. There's nothing there Four-way cold tablets and three-way stomach pills, but they haven't found a one-way aspirin that will counteract Irma's remarks So generally I ignore them and pick up the newspapers and just read Jane. What sweetie? What's new in the paper? Oh, nothing much. Oh, oh look, isn't that Mrs. Ryan manager's picture on the society page? Where? Right there Oh, yeah, so it is Let's see the annual masquerade ball to raise funds for the orphan children Will be held tomorrow night at the Long Island estate of Mrs. Richard Rhinelander the second This marks the first time that Mrs. Rhinelander will supervise the affair What is it sweetie? Did you know about this wonderful affair? Why you've? Yes, and of course you're going. Yes, Richard's invited me. Why? Oh Nothing. I'll find something to do. What's that? Nothing nothing at all if you sit home with a deck of cards and play some solitude that's solitaire Look, honey, I'm not going to have you stand there pouting you must realize the tickets cost $100 apiece $100 It's nothing. Well, I could even get my al to take me if I had $200 It's only me professor Kravatsky Janie and Irma my two little sailboats One trim the other lost in a fog Why professor excuse me girls a little joke. I picked up on the pier What do you think there's a burglar upstairs in my closet for goodness sakes, why don't you call the police? No, I was thinking of calling a psychiatrist Anyone who could come into that room of mine and expect to find anything must be out of his mind Oh professor you're always exaggerating your room is not bad. Oh, it isn't Well Halloween will soon be here and you know how most people put a pumpkin in the window and turn out the lights to scare the children Yes, I don't have to turn out the lights. I just turned them on Oh But what's the use? Am I am I just noticed? Why are you standing there looking so sad? Oh Richard's mother's giving a wonderful charity ball and Jane won't take me now for goodness sakes Irma Stop making her heavy out of me. I have nothing to say about the invitations But you have influence with Richard when a girl goes with a fellow she can get him to do anything She wants him to always that's so yes, I have al eating out of my hand That's only because it's for nothing Please girls don't argue Irma resign yourself. We are not invited. So we are not invited Although personally I would love to help make that a fairer success because it's for charity little orphans Bless them the little poppies of humanity Hello, oh Yes, I'll just a minute. I'll get her ermates for you an employment office They want you to take a job. This is a free country come over here, honey, and we'll talk about it. Good. Bye Oh that I'll you've got the handle to him. You've got the handle to him because he won't work for it Right Jamie Jamie Jamie oh, I'm sorry professor. I was lost in my thoughts about what costume I should wear to the ball come in Hello girls. Oh, hello, Mrs. O'Reilly. Well, look at your hair. Yes, I'm wearing the new short bob How does it look for a minute? I thought your head got caught in the electric fan Chop with you Janey darling, do you like it? Oh, I love it. It looks so neat and so clean. Yes I always felt my face was covered up too much That is a matter of opinion Yeah Erma darling, how do you like my hair? Erma is something wrong. Oh Jane's going to Mrs. Rhinelanders charity ball and I'll be all alone Erma, we've been all through that. Oh Janey how I envy you Mrs. Rhinelanders such a lovely woman and I know it must be a worthy cause Oh, it is and the ball is being held in the Rhinelander estate in Long Island Yeah, I just started shaking when I think of walking into that mansion Imagine 68 rooms and 40 baths 40 baths. Oh, now I know why they call them the filthy rich Janey darling, you're so lucky. I remember my first masquerade ball I was a girl in Ireland and at midnight I met a handsome young man He took off my slipper and started pouring champagne into it. He'd held two quarts The bottle that is and he insisted on drinking a toast to me beauty Pretty soon we were both a little shall I say If you feel it say it And just as he was telling me how beautiful I was some wise Ali came along and gave him a bromo seltzer It's sobered him up and I never saw him again My how the years fly Yes, and it's too bad while they were flying. They had to drag you along the ground What's the convention talking about mrs. Rhinelanders charity masquerade tomorrow night Oh, yeah, I saw the old gals picture in the newspaper great day in that mrs. Rhinelander Well, we could go to the ball if we had a hundred dollars Chicken nothing would give me greater pleasure than to help them kids May be able to do so if my new deal comes through Another deal Al what is it this time stretching the ears of cats and selling them for rabbits Oh, this one is money in the bank. It's a coat lining designed like a deck of cards So if you're caught with a nice up your sleeve, you can always say you're lying and ripped Oh brother Hello, Jane. I uh, oh company. Yes, Richard. You know everybody. Yes, indeed rich We all want to tell you how proud we are of the work your mother is doing there for the offer Thank you. You see mother just loves children. Oh, so do I When al and I get married we're going to have lots of children You know, they say children are man's wealth and i'm going to make al a millionaire That's enough for him Richard has everything said for tomorrow. Yes. Yes, but mother's a little worried Why? Well, aside from the fact that the money is desperately needed mother wants terribly much to put this affair over You see last year mrs. Van clive was in charge of the ball and she raised $50,000 Well, naturally mother would like to get more because it all goes to charity and besides she can't tolerate mrs. Van clive You see she's been bragging all over town that mother can never hope to equal her record and mother's determined to do it Wish one of my deals had come through Could pitch in al by the time your deals come through those orphans will be old enough to take care of themselves and their grandchildren Well, Richard, i'm sure your mother's party will make more money than mrs. Van clive's I hope so see you all at the masquerade tomorrow Oh Well, certainly you're all coming aren't you uh like to be there Richard, but you know, it's um The fiscal year. I don't want to fisk out on the boys I would like to be there too Richard and believe me. It's not the money, but uh Tomato is my birthday and i'll be a hundred dollars old. I mean, uh I would come too mr. Rhinelander, but Well, you see I hold it everybody Jane didn't you didn't you give them their tickets tickets Richard? You didn't give me any tickets. Oh, what's the matter with me? I've been carrying this envelope for days Here's a ticket for each of you. Let me see rich Admission one hundred dollars Which stamp pay that's right. I think you can make it now l Well, it is the fiscal year But by an odd coincidence. It's also leap year So I think i'm in a position to leap the fiscal and come to the masquerade How about you professor? Why don't you escort mrs. O'Reilly? Well, I might do it since it's for charity She's going to be disguised anyway And here's your ticket urma. Oh, let al hold it. He always likes to treat me Oh richard, this is so sweet of you forget it. Well, think I'll be getting back to mother I want to see how close she is to that fifty thousand dollars gold. Well, wait a minute richard I'll walk with you I've got to see about getting a costume and you kids better get busy too Oh, we'll think of something so long everybody see you tomorrow night How do you like that guy shelling out four hundred dollars so we can have a good time at his mother's party Oh, I hope for her sake. It's a big success Yes, richard's worried about whether his mother can raise fifty thousand dollars must be a way we can make certain she does What do you mean must be away? Well, there are many ways of raising money Now for instance years ago, there was a little boy used to wake up his aunt by bringing a mouse in her room His aunt had screamed and give him a quarter to take it away He did this every day and years later This was to become known in financial circles as getting the ante up Look al let us not meddle in this thing. Yes, let's not ruin the affair Okay, and speaking of ruins. I think I'll go back to that wreckage. I call my room I'll go along with you professor. I better get started on mid-cost to right away All right, mrs. O'Reilly and remember when you're finished if I recognize you I don't take you I don't have much time to get a costume. What shall we wear? Oh, I don't know. We're thinking I might go as Robert E. Lee Nothing doing al I don't want to spend the whole evening dancing with a steamboat Your winning smile is a pepsidon smile Again and again people have found it true The smile that wins is the pepsidon smile gene chadwick of east orange new jersey will tell you that her smile has made her doubly successful as a singer and as an actress When just starting her stage career gene decided her talents and her lovely smile would be used to best advantage If she both sang and acted her operatic selections The idea paid off for that smile and gene's artistry charmed audiences everywhere Radio appearances followed and her own series of television broadcasts, too No wonder gene told us a pepsidon smile helps any career. I'll always use pepsidon toothpaste Like gene chadwick people all over america agree the smile that wins is the pepsidon smile In recent comparison tests thousands of people preferred pepsidon with iriam over the brands they'd been using at home Yes pepsidon one by the overwhelming average of three to one For its cool minty taste for making breath cleaner and teeth brighter Try new pepsidon toothpaste with iriam and you will see the smile that wins is the pepsidon smile Must do one and I think it's rather effective. I am going as marie antoinette Irma couldn't understand why I spent so much time fixing my hair since I was going to have my head cut off anyway And What I went through before al and irma decided what costume to wear you will never know First there was al who said gene. You know think I'll go as jesse james. Nothing doing al. You've got to wear a costume Right and then there was irma who kept saying gee. I don't know what to wear So I said irma. Why didn't you wear that green costume you wore last year? You know when you went as a tree And irma said no someone's life will come as george washington chopped me down As all my patients could take so I said irma you'll just have to make your own decisions and irma said Oh, I know what I'll wear that kitty outfit that I wore in halloween last year, huh? So the kitty costume was agreed upon and I must say irma looks adorable with her two blonde braids Titan pink ribbons if it wasn't for her figure she could pass for six Yes, a little schoolgirl to perfection and I'm sure with those legs. None of the boys would ever play hooky As for al Al has found the most ingenious disguise. I have ever seen He has cut a square hole in the front of his shirt. So his tattoo will show and he's coming as a television set To remember al yeah, jane now It was very nice of richard to buy these tickets for us and all of us must be on our very best behavior Now, there'll be a number of rich people there and I'd appreciate it very much if you would not try to sell them any of your real estate lots Why not? Well, you see most of them have their yachts floating right over your property Well, what about oil well, no al why is it everything you deal and either has water over it or under it? Look jane, don't worry. This is for the office and I give you my word. You'll be proud of me Oh, that's good enough for me. Come in Hello gang say jane. You look terrific. Oh, thanks richard and erm Well, you're so cute. I feel like putting you on my lap and telling you a bedtime story Gee kids have all the fun Well, richard, tell me does it look as if your mother will reach that $50,000 quota frankly? No jane It looks pretty bad. What were the flu and the weather will be lucky to reach 40,000 and mother feels so badly about it I suppose that mrs. Van clive will never stop gloating. Well, you know, she's like that in mother's words. Mrs. Van clive is an old Watch your language little girl here Sorry little girl well richard isn't there any way we could raise more money at the party who once we charge a hundred dollars admission I don't know what else we can do. Maybe we'll think of something at the house Where's the rest of the gang? Oh, the professor misses. All right. You're putting on their costumes Why don't you and jane run along? We'll meet you. I'd like that mother's so depressed I'd like to be with her. Come on jane. Okay. See you later kid What do you look so sad al burns me up chicken For an affair to help orphans. They can't get up enough dough And on top of that a swell gal like mrs. Ryan and is going to be ridiculed by that van clive day Well, what can we do about it got to see that the dough is raised and there's only one man who can help us Yeah, who else but hello joe Oh Got a problem gonna mingle with the rich tonight. How do I get money from them? What? No, joe. It's got to be with their permission Yeah, this this is for charity orphans Well, you don't say joe. You weren't orphan yourself, huh? Well, what happened to your parents? Oh an accident They died while listening to chamber music Oh gas chamber music Well, joe, then you know what it means to help these kids. Yeah, how do I get them to shell out? Uh-huh Uh-huh Great idea joe. Thanks a million. Goodbye noble friend chicken for once joe has come through come in Hello, little girl is your mother. Oh, it's aim Oh, you look like a little doll. Thank you. Do you think I can pass for six sure just be yourself Oh How do you like my costume al? Well, what are you supposed to be can't you guess? I know a rag picker Oh, yeah, that's right. Professor wait. You get all their miserable dirty old rags. Well, yesterday. Mrs. O'Reilly gave me new drapes for my window. Oh I see you're wearing the old drapes. No, I'll the new All right, oh don't mention us. He's furious Come here, mr. Riley everybody. Hey, mr. O'Reilly. What a swell get up with that broom and that hair over your eyes. You're a perfect witch Thank you. Well, and as for you, professor Take it easy. Mrs. O'Reilly. What's wrong? He insulted me. That's what he did. What do you say? I didn't say anything Oh, no, I spend hours getting this witch's costume on and then when he sees me He says it's getting late. Why don't you put on a costume? No time for personal grudges Mrs. Rhineland is in trouble and we got to come to the rescue. She hasn't raised enough money Oh 10 g shorter what mrs. Van Clive did last year. Oh glory being all those poor orphans in such need What can we do to help al? Got just the idea that we'll put this party across Where do you find the biggest crowds spending money at corny island? Right now? Here's what we do Mrs. Rhineland charming ball. Thank you, mrs. Van Clive. Are you having fun? Yes Wonderful idea of yours to have this intimate gathering instead of that tremendous turnout I had at my charity ball last year Really? Yes Of course, you won't make nearly enough to take care of the poor little children But perhaps next year the committee will realize their mistake and put me in charge of the ball again You're so nice Well I'll try to amuse myself Where could I get a Manhattan? I'm so thirsty right over there at the bar and you won't need any bitters in your Manhattan Just smile at it Clever mrs. Rhineland Well, you'll probably think of something amusing to tell the kitties When they're told they have to sleep eight in a bed because you couldn't raise the money Toodaloo Hello, mother. Oh Richard and Jane you look lovely dear. Thank you. What's the matter mother? You're shaking No, I've just had a word with mrs. Van Clive my well-wisher Oh Richard, perhaps I've been a fool. Maybe I shouldn't have undertaken the responsibility of the ball Well, mother you did your best Jane. Do you mind if I have this dance with my mother? I think it would be wonderful, Richard Come on mother. Get your mind off mrs. Van Clive. This should be a nice waltz coming up Oh, I'd give anything to put this party across Hey The program says a waltz, but they're playing a conga. They're forming a conga line. They're all following the leader the leader That's al Is he taking oh my goodness. He's breaking up my policy. This is Ryan lander. I don't know how to apologize Oh, he's taking them all into the library. What's he up to? I'm afraid to look But I had to look and I still can't believe my eyes in front of me is coney island Yes, al ermah the professor and mrs. O'Reilly have turned the library into a miniature midway Al is working the shell game. Now. I know the man I know the man who's trying to guess under what shell appears Last year this man was in whose who? 10 more minutes with al in the shell game and this man will be listed in the 50 neediest cases Al is speaking that will be 10 more you have lost to me friend And I saw to resent your remark that this seems like a dishonest game Let's try something else take a cut there. That's fine. Let me see. Oh king Now only an ace can beat that I shall draw How do you like that? It's an ace I just can't understand it. I I never seem to win. Oh al yeah chicken. You better sweep up a lot of aces are falling out of your coat All the chicken mr. This young lady is just joking. She she knows I run an honest game, don't I? Miss well al I thought you were just going to be the barber here the barber Yes, he told me he's gonna clip everyone who came here Come on chicken The gentleman may misunderstand and I want to give this dough to mrs. Rainland Can't talk now. I'm like here comes a lot of customer Uh, pardon me. Do you tell fortune? Certainly your name, madam. Mrs. Van Clive Aha, I see Let me see your palm, please Oh, I see a sparkling future happiness. Yeah, you laughed And then you get hit by a truck You are swinging between life and death only one doctor can save you What's his name a professional secret cost you 50 dollars to find out Well, here's the 50 dollars. What's his name? Who do you go to now? Dr. Jones is a good man. Keep going to him next That's not enough over in the right hand corner are two booze One is marked lemonade one dollar the other kisses five dollars a piece But they're not doing any business. Oh, no wonder al has made a mistake He's got ermah selling lemonade and mrs. O'reilly selling kisses Well, I'm getting out of here so fast the super chief will look like it's backing up Jane, Jane, Jane, where are you going? Richard? I'm so mortified I want to get out of here before your mother throws us all out throws you out why jane mothers in heaven Alan his friends have already turned in enough money to more than pass our quota And the guests are having so much fun. They insist mother hold the ball next year You mean that richard sure jane. Come on. Let's congratulate al. Oh, well, yeah Hal on behalf of my mother. You don't have to say anything We don't have for a swell lady and a bunch of wonderful kids. Oh al al Things still bothers me ermah What were you doing in the lemonade booth? Weren't you supposed to sell kisses? Yes, but al's had to get over there in that booth and pucker up and lemons make me pucker What can I say except that there's never been a sweeter kid than my friend ermah Your winning smile is a pepsidon smile again and again people have found the smile that wins is the pepsidon smile That's borne out by the vote of thousands who tried new pepsidon toothpaste with erium in a recent nationwide test These people were given plain unlabeled tubes of pepsidon and were asked to compare it with the brands They were using at home when their votes came in pepsidon one by the overwhelming average of three to one These people say new pepsidon tastes better Makes their breath cleaner and their teeth brighter than any other toothpaste they tried Remember, that's not just our opinion. That's what people say They say it three to one They've seen pepsidon with erium remove the film that makes teeth look dull Uncover new brightness in their smiles Try it and you will see the smile that wins is the pepsidon smile And directed by sigh howard park levy writes the script with stanley adams and roland mclean And it's brought to you by pepsidon toothpaste with erium another fine product of lever brother's company mary wilson is starred as ermah with jones banks as jane The part of al was played by john brown Hans konried was heard as professor krapotkin and gloria gordon as mrs. O'reilly music was under the direction of blood gluskin The community chest campaign is your opportunity to make one contribution to all your local agencies for health welfare and recreation Nearly half the families in your community will benefit through red feather aid Support the community chest everybody benefits everybody gives This is wendell niles reminding you to tune in one hour earlier next week and listen to the lux radio theater Followed by the pepsidon show my friend ermah This is cbs the columbia broadcasting system