 All right, here we go. Arlene writes, question. Why do men talk incessantly about an ex? One guy even took me somewhere knowing where his ex was, used me and even pointed me out to her. Why does a man do that? Great question, Arlene. So what you're talking about is an emotionally unhealthy man who still has an attachment to a previous partner. He has an attachment to his previous partner. Now, if you're not familiar with the work of Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, I would highly check out the book Attached. This talks about love attachment style. And what this means is, from very early on in our childhood, how we bonded with our parents, oftentimes was formulated in either an anxious or an avoidant love attachment style. An anxious is a very needy love attachment style. An avoidant is basically, I don't trust love. And that's how they attach to their parents. Now, I know many of you are familiar also with secure attachment style. I truly believe that the vast majority is either anxious or avoidant and very few people actually are able to be secure. And that takes months, if not years, to establish once you're in a relationship. Now, there's another reason why men are incessantly talking about exes is because they're basically experiencing what's known as the amago, the amago. And if you're not familiar with the work of Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt, highly recommend checking this out. Because this is about what's basically the amago is we choose people very similar to one or both of our parents, very similar to one of our both of our parents. In other words, we are trying to heal a wound from most likely and a parent who was emotionally unavailable for us in a relationship. So we choose partners very similar to like one or both of our parents because our little kid inside of us desperately wants to heal that peace inside of us. So we choose people like that. And when the relationship ends, we're still trying to constantly fill that need of, mommy, daddy, will you love me? Mommy, daddy, will you love me? Mommy, daddy, will you love me? And this is one of the reasons why people haven't detached from a previous partner because they're either experienced loving attachment, love attachment style, or they're experiencing amago. And quite frankly, if it's show, by the way, let me share with you something personal. So I was in a significant relationship after my divorce and let me be candid with you. My love attachment style is anxious. I'm gonna repeat that, that's anxious. I tend to gravitate to more avoidant personalities. Now, here's the thing. There's a picture of my mom and dad when they were in their 20s. My mom and dad were married 66 years before my mother passed away. And my mother was one of those women who was emotionally avoidant. And she would actually abandon us emotionally when there was some uproar going on in our family, mostly with my father, one of my children, one of my siblings. So if she was upset with my father, my mother would emotionally abandon us for about 72 hours. And during that little time, I'm a little kid, I'm like, mom, I want your love, mom, I want your love, mom, I want your love, and I wasn't getting love. So what happened to me is I became an anxious attachment style. And my pattern was to choose women who were somewhat similar to my mother, a more of an emotional attachment style, or maybe they would take 24, 48, 72 hours when there was a conflict and that was triggering my wound. That would trigger my wound. So when I was in a significant relationship with someone that mirrored a bit of my mother, and I'm not suggesting she was like my mother, there was just some similarities to that. And when our relationship ended, I was still very much, I mean, the drug of that anxious attachment style was I was vomiting myself on early dates. I was, when I say vomiting, all I did was talk about her, talk about her, talk about her. It was funny, I months met one woman who all she did talk about was her ex-husband. All I did was talk about my ex-girlfriend. And no wonder the relationship imploded because I still needed quite a bit of healing. In fact, for those who know me, that significant relationship ended four years ago. And I probably, it's taken me the last three and a half years to literally repair it myself during this time by actually learning to enjoy and appreciate my own company because I had a rather codependent personality. And if you're not familiar with the book, Codependent No More, Codependent No More, I highly recommend checking out this book to either understand your own codependency or understanding someone else's codependency. So coming back to your question there, Arlene, why, this is just a brief kind of example of why men might be doing this, why men might be doing this. And it doesn't make them bad people. It just makes them unhealed at a deep core level. This is why I'm such a big proponent of everybody doing the inner work to relieve their negative patterns and their limiting beliefs in their life. This is why I'm such a big proponent of everyone doing what's known as the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process. This is a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and traumas that oftentimes cause a person to talk excessively about an ex. And I'm here to say that when this happens, that's a good sign, that's a really nut of a red flag that should be a deal breaker because what most likely happened is they haven't healed from their past relationship. And if they haven't healed from their past relationship, a lot of men and women believe that they have a new relationship that heals the patterning. No, the healing has to be done before they enter in a relationship or what happens is what's the definition of insanity? Doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. This is why when this happens, folks, I know you can meet some really good people out there that's happened to me. I know it's happened to you. But I'm here to say unless people do some healing from their childhood wounds and traumas or adult traumas, they're going to repeat patterns over and over again. And I'm sure I always say, homie don't wanna play that game and I'm sure nor do you. So you may want to say thank you, no thank you, next. And that's my invitation for you Arlene. So thank you, and that's the why that happened. So once again, thank you so much for that question. That was a really good one. I really appreciate it giving you a big, gigantic Jonathan bear hug for that one. All right, let's take some more questions.