 Learning to live again. That's the subject of today's vlog. Also, yes, I took another trip to Brighton. I am. I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry. I enjoy Brighton. This vlog is very emotional and hard-hitting for me because it's very similar to my first vlog to Brighton about self-identity. This one is focused on learning to live again, which for me is a very deep subject. The main reason I wanted to take a break from London was to give myself a chance to enjoy the fresh air without the busyness of being in the city, and I just wanted space to think really and be myself. Since July last year, I've been on the sort of like self-discovery journey, which is what this vlog series is about. I started this vlog series after my last suicide attempt. I think the thing that I want to point out very early on is nobody can make you want to live again. You have to want to live for yourself, and that is a lesson that I learned. But within the last 12 months, I kind of learned that I had to want to live for myself rather than live for other people. It's very hard to do, and it takes ages to realise, and you can't just suddenly think that one day. It's a long process. I try very hard to just live in a moment, which is why I keep making spontaneous trips to Brighton. But seriously though, I feel that living in a moment is giving me a sort of new level of understanding myself in the sense that I'm able to just go into whatever I want without thinking twice about it. Obviously I have plans for the future. I do have plans for the future. I try not to think too much about the past, and I try not to think too much about the future. Obviously thinking about the past is a bit harder, especially with PTSD. I have ups and downs just as much as the next person. It's a normal part of life. I sometimes feel more intense than the people, and that is purely because my mental illness, my diagnosis, or whatever you want to say. I think the most important thing I've learned to do is to just take myself on journey and work through it on my own. No one can do it for me. I actually ate something in public. I had chips as well. I didn't even have a fruit part, or anything like that, but I normally have when I go out. I had an actual... I had half a box of chips. I didn't have the whole thing because, yo, no, I can't eat that. You know what? I think YouTube for time is such a tiesome job. It's really good. I don't want to walk too far that way, because I don't know exactly. I only know it from one specific point, so I don't want to walk too far, so I'm just going in. Wonder back of the way. You know what? I know I look to the wetty, but it's kind of the idea. I'm currently sat on a beach. It is 3.45 in the afternoon on Sunday. My phone's on 3.00, which is wonderful. I just wanted to come and sit on the beach. I'm not really going to do much else in Brighton. I might get a few other bits of footage here and there, but I came to sit on a beach.