 What's happening guys, your local Realized Man checking in and today I want to talk about breakups heartache and how you can overcome those negative feelings with mindfulness, right? Now this video was inspired by this email I received from one of my subscribers, he said I read your post on mindfulness and loved it. Thanks, buddy I was wondering if you had any specific mindfulness techniques for heartache I've just recently broken up with my girlfriend of three years and I'm feeling devastated Okay, so our man here has broken up with his girlfriend. He's feeling devastated I'm gonna give you him and give you guys some tangible advice that you can work with that's really gonna help you kind of overcome those negative feelings you get when you break up with someone when you're feeling heartache because it's probably one of the worst things you could feel in life that Aftermath of a breakup or when you're you know when you feel like shit basically And before I hop into the method of doing this I'm gonna provide you guys with some context about what I'm saying here So we're gonna talk about pain first and how this relates with the breakup issue The other day I was in steaks, right? Because I love steaks. I was in steaks. I was just chomping down I bit the crap out of my lip. I'm not sure you can see that But I bit the shit out of my lip start bleeding everywhere and what happened was I had to Put salt on it because as you know, like if you injure yourself like you have a wound It's good to put salt on it helps with the recovery What you might also know is when you put salt on a wound it hurts the stings like a bitch it kills, right? So this time when I was putting the salt on it, I thought to myself, you know what? I'm gonna try apply some mindfulness to this try just analyze this pain without associating myself with it so a lot of times when we feel pain we kind of make a big deal with we cry we Bring ourselves into it, right? So I was just trying to objectify the pain just feel for what it is just feel the sensation and see what New insights I can gain from that. So I did it I just felt the sensations for the energy as I put the salt on and it's still stung like a bitch But it was nowhere near as much pain as if I had to associate with it So that's the same principle gonna use here with your heartache or your loneliness or the feelings you feel after a breakup what you need to do is you need to kind of become like a Scientist you need become like one of those bookworms with nerds that are doing their doctorate paper on something You gotta study yourself They're gonna observe these feelings when they come up, right as if you're doing a research paper on it So these feelings will come up and you need to slow everything down This is what mindfulness is all about. It's about objectively analyzing everything without putting any judgments Slowing things down so that you can analyze and better As I said before as I like to say before you can escape the trap You need to analyze the trap if you're trapped in a web or something You need to see what you can do then you get out You don't just wiggle around so you need analyze the trap of these feelings that are coming up And the way you do is you really go deep into your body It's when you start feeling you know as you said I'm devastated lonely Try see where you're feeling anybody feeling in your hands Are you feeling in your heads your head gonna be heavy is in your legs is in your heart in your chest It's in your back. Where's this feeling coming from in terms of your? Physiology is your heart rate going up. What's happening in your body slow things down incredibly like really slow it down Like you have those high-speed cameras Also observe what's going on in your thoughts. What type of mental dialogue are you having? What images are you recalling of are you remembering things you did in the relationship? Are you remembering the good times are you remembering the bad times you're remembering? What are you thinking of certain judgments how she acted are you angry? What what are you harboring? Kind of break everything down as much as you can and the process of breaking all these things down Just analyzing what you're doing Teaches you how to disassociate with those feelings so you're kind of like seeing yourself as someone who's observing from the outside, right? And this is how you're gonna get over the break up because you're observing from the outside You don't associate the pain as much with yourself in the same way as when I observe the pain on my lip when I put the salt on it It's not as bad. It's a lot easier to Be a lot easier for it to dissipate because a lot of times We feel the eggs of breakups. We feel that eggs are loneliness because we keep going back We keep making it something to do with us. We keep associating with our ego. It's like oh, I should have done She should not done that to me Or how could she do that to me me me me me I I we keep making it this bigger thing than what it has to be Just associate just feel the pain for what it is Don't try repress as well Don't try to press a lot a big mistake that people make is they try repress their mentions They get angry with themselves for feeling these things and it's actually be feeling these things and try ignore the fact The reality is we humans you're gonna feel these things Repressing it is not gonna help. There's no way you're not gonna feel the heart You're gonna feel it, but you can accelerate the recovery process using these mindfulness techniques So repressing it doesn't work in the same way as if I told you not to think of Donald Trump writing a nuke while Holding a cowboy hat Falling down on North Korea. All right Just me saying that probably had that fucking image in your head the image don't trump doing that so When you tell yourself not to feel these emotions, you're kind of inviting them to come up again You're kind of inviting those things to come up. So don't do that just Objectively analyzing don't play any judgments everything in the world is neutral until we put a perception until we label it as good or bad See for what it is and slowly but surely you start to Detach yourself from it and those feelings would dissipate much quicker much quicker. Okay, that's one aspect of it That's kind of like the inner game of getting over the breakup again over the heartache Now I'm gonna give you some more practical things you can do in the real world to get over it You need to try see this as an opportunity for you to better yourself Recall back on the breakup or the relationship and see perhaps which areas you fell short in right? Try see them objectively. Don't put your subjective ego into a try see perhaps Maybe you are not the best communicator. Perhaps you let yourself go. You got complacent because you're in a relationship You got fat you stop going to yourself take care of yourself Maybe the things that initially made you attractive slowly started going away once you became comfortable See these things and Get better work on yourself, right? This is a perfect time to work on yourself because you got that fire and if you ask your last steam Build your body up Work on your mind see how you can be better for the next run and improve as a human being because of this Get back on your mission because the guy who told me About this relationship when you break up from these relationships the best thing you could possibly do as a man is Focus on your mission use that extra stimulus that extra energy to really drive your mission. All right The girls will come later another relationship will come if you work on yourself If you keep grinding if you do the mindfulness techniques or this stuff will be good. Hey guys, that's the video That's how you get over a breakup, but that's my way If you liked that video make sure you like comment subscribe because the engagement does up the channel They'll be seeing you guys next time. Peace