 47 He has given his life in saving mine! Oh, would that I had died for thee! My Herald! My Herald!" This was ever more Olive's cry during the days of awful suspense, when they knew not but that every hour might be Herald's last. He had broken a blood vessel in the lungs. Through some violent mental emotion, the physician said, nothing else could have produced such results in his usually strong and manly frame. And it was for me! For me! moaned Olive. Yet I doubted him. I almost called him cruel. Oh, that I should never have known his heart until now. Every feeling of womanly shame vanished before the threatening shadow of death. Night and day, Olive hovered about the door of Herald's room, listening for any sound. But there was always silence. No one passed in and out except his mother—his mother on whom Olive hardly dared to look, lest, innocent though she was, she might read reproach in Mrs. Gwynne's sorrowful eye. Once she even ventured to hint this. I angry! Because it was in saving you that this happened to my son. No, Olive, no. Whatever God sends, we will bear together. Mrs. Gwynne said this kindly, but her heart seemed frozen to every thought except one. She rarely quitted Herald's chamber, and scarcely noticed any person, not even Olive. One night, or rather early morning, during the time of great crisis, she came out, and saw Olive standing in the passage, with a face whereon was written such utter woe, that before it even the mother's sorrow paled. It seemed to move Mrs. Gwynne deeply. My dear, how long have you been here? All night. Poor child! Poor child! It is all I can do for him and you. If I could only—I guess what you would say. No. No. He must be perfectly quiet. He must not see or hear you. And the mother turned away, as though she had said too much. But what to Olive was it now to know that Herald loved her? She would have resigned all the blessing of his love to bring to him health and life. So crushed, so hopeless was her look that Herald's mother pitied her. Thinking a moment, she said, He is fast asleep now. If it would comfort you, poor child, to look at him for one moment. But it must be only one. Olive bowed her head. She was past speaking, and followed Mrs. Gwynne. With a step as silent and solemn as though she were going to look on death, she went and looked on the beloved of her heart. Herald lay. His face perfectly blanched, his dark hair falling heavily on the pillow, as if never to be stirred by life or motion more. They stood by his bed, the mother that bore him, and the woman who loved him dearer than her own soul. These two, the strongest of all earthly loves, so blended in one object, constrained them each to each. They turned from gazing on Herald and sank into one another's arms. For a few more days continued this agonizing wrestling with death, during which they who would have given their life for Herald's could only look on and pray. During this time there came news to Olive from the world without, news that otherwise would have moved her, but which was now coldly received, as of no moment at all. Lyle Derwent had suddenly married, his heart like many another being one in the rebound. And Mrs. Flora Rothsay had passed away, dying in the night peacefully and without pain, for they found her in the attitude of sleep. But even for her Olive had no tears. She only shuddered over the letter because it spoke of death. All the world seemed full of death. She walked in its shadow night and day. Her only thought and prayer was, Give me his life, only his life, O God! And Herald's life was given her. But the hope came very faintly at first, or it might have been too much to bear. Day by day it grew stronger, until all present danger was gone. But there were many chances to be guarded against, and so, as soon as this change for the better arrived, Olive came to look at him in his sleep no more. His mother was very cautious over his every look and word, so that Olive could not even learn whether he had ever given any sign that he thought of her. And now that his health was returning, her womanly reserve came back. She no longer lingered at his door. Even her joy was restrained and mingled with a trembling doubt. At length, Herald was allowed to be moved to his mother's dressing-room. Very eager and joyful Mrs. Gwynne was, ransacking the house for pillows to make him lie easy on the sofa, and plaids to wrap him in. Full of that glad, even childish excitement, with which we delight to hail the recovery of one beloved who has been nearly lost. The pleasure extended itself over the whole household, to whom their master was very dear. Olive only sat in her own room, listening to every footstep. Mrs. Gwynne came to her at last. It is all done, my dear, and he is not so weak as we feared, but he is very much exhausted still. We must take great care, even now." Certainly, answered Olive, she knew what the anxious mother meant, and dared not utter the longing at her heart. "'I hardly know what to do,' said Mrs. Gwynne restlessly. He has been asking to see you." "'To see me? And may I?' I told him not to-day, and I was right. Child, look at your own face now. Until you can calm yourself, you shall not see my Herald. Without offering any opposition, Olive sat down. Mrs. Gwynne was melted. Nay, she said, you shall do as you will, little patient one. I left him asleep now. You shall stay by him until he wakes. Come!' She took her to the door, but quitted her there, perhaps remembering the days when she too was young. Olive entered noiselessly, and took her place by Herald's side. He was sleeping, though it was not the deathlike sleep in which she had beheld him that mournful night, but a quiet, healthful slumber. His whole face seemed softened and spiritualized, as is often the case with strong men whom a long illness has brought low. With childlike helplessness there seems to come a childlike peace. Olive knew now why Mrs. Gwynne had said, a few days since, that Herald looked as he had done when he was a little boy, his mother's only boy. For a few minutes Olive sat silently watching. She felt how utterly she loved him. How, he died, the whole world would have faded from her like a blank dream. And even now should she have to part from him in any way? I cannot. I cannot. It would be more than I could bear. And from the depth of her heart rose a heavy sigh. Herald seemed to hear it. He moved a little and said, faintly, who is there? It is I. Olive, little Olive. His white cheek flushed and he held out his hand. She, remembering his mother's caution, only whispered, I am so glad, so glad. It is a long time since I saw you, he said, brokenly. Stand so that I can look at you, Olive. She obeyed. He looked long and wistfully at her face. You have been weeping, I see. Wherefore? Because I am so happy to think you are better. Is that true? Do you think so much of me? And a pale but most joyful smile broke over his face. Though, leaving it, the features trembled with emotion. Olive was alarmed. You must not talk now. Not one word. Remember how very ill you have been. I will sit by you here. Oh, what can I ever do or say in gratitude for all you have done for me? Gratitude. Herald echoed the word, as if with pain, and then lay still, looking up at her no more. Gradually there came a change over his countenance, as if some bitter thought were slowly softening into calmness. Olive, he said, you speak of gratitude, then what must be mine to you? In those long hours when I lay conscious but silent, knowing that there might be but a breath between me and eternity, how should I have felt had I not learnt from you that holy faith which conquers death? Thank God! Thank God! But you are weak and must not speak. I must, for I am stronger now. I draw strength from your very presence, you who have been my life's good angel. Let me tell you so while I can. While you can? Yes. For I sometimes think that, though I am thus far better, I shall never be quite myself again. But slowly, perhaps without suffering, pass away from this world. Oh no! Oh no! And Olive clasped his hand tighter, looking up with a terrified air. You cannot! Shall not die! I could not bear it! And then her face was dyed with a crimson blush, soon washed away by a torrent of tears. Harold turned feebly round and laid his right hand on her head. Little Olive, to think that you should weep thus and I should be so calm. He waited a while until her emotion had ceased. Then he said, lift up your face, let me look at you. Nay, tremble not, for I am going to speak very solemnly. Of things that I might never have uttered save for such an hour as this. You will listen, my own dear friend, my sister, as you said you would be. Yes, yes, always. Ah, Olive, you thought not that you were more to me than any friend, any sister, that I loved you, not calmly, motherly, but with all the strength and passion of my heart, as a man loves the woman he would choose out of all the world to be his wife. These words trembled on lips, white as though they had been the lips of death. Olive heard, but she only pressed his hand without speaking. Harold went on, I tell you this, because now, when I feel so changed that all earthly things grow dim, I am not too proud to say I love you. Once I was, you stole into my heart before I was aware. Oh, how I wrestled against this love, I who had been once deceived, so that I believed in no woman's truth. At last I resolved to trust in yours, but I would try to be quite sure of it first. You remember how I talked to you, and how you answered, in the hermitage of braid. Then I knew you loved, but I thought you loved not me. How could you think so? Oh, Harold! Harold! As she uttered his name, tremulously, as a woman breathes for the first time the beloved name in the beloved ear, Harold started, but still he answered calmly. Whether that thought was true or not would not change what I am about to say now. All my pride is gone. I only desire that you should know how deeply I loved you, and that, living or dying, I shall love you ever more. I'll have tried to answer, tried to tell him the story of her one great love, so hopeless yet so faithful, so passionate yet so dumb, but she could utter nothing save the murmur. Harold! Harold! And therein he learnt all. Looking upon her, there came into his face an expression of unutterable joy. He made an effort to raise himself, but in vain. Come, he murmured, come near me, Olive, my little Olive that loves me. Is it not so? Ever from the first, you only! None but you! Kiss me, then, my own faithful one, he said faintly. Olive leaned over him and kissed him on the eyes and mouth. He tried to fold his arms round her, but failed. I have no strength at all, he said sorrowfully. I cannot take her to my heart, my darling, my wife. So worn out am I, so weak. But I am strong, Olive answered. She put her arm under his head, and made him lean on her shoulder. He looked up, smiling. Oh, this is sweet, very sweet. I could sleep. I could almost die, thus. No! God will not let you die, my Harold! whispered Olive, and then neither spoke again. Overpowered by an emotion which was too much for his feeble strength, Harold lay quiet. By degrees when the room darkened, for it was evening, his breathing grew deeper, and he fell asleep, his head still resting on Olive's shoulder. She looked down upon him, his wasted face, his thin hand that, even in slumber, still clung helplessly to hers. What a tide of emotion swept through her heart! It seemed that therein was gathered up for him every tenderness that woman's soul could know. She loved him at once with the love of mother, sister, friend, and wife. Loved him as those only can who have no other kindred tie, nothing in the whole wide world to love beside. She laid her cheek against his hair, but softly, lest she should waken him. I thought to have led a whole long lonely life for thy sake, Harold, and I would have led it, without murmuring, either against heaven or thee, knowing my own unworthiness. But since it is not to be so, I will give thee instead a whole life of faithful love, a wife's love, such as never was wife's before. And then, over long years, her fancy went back, discerning how all things had worked together to this end. She saw how patience had ripened into hope, and suffering into joy. Not one step of the whole weary way had been trodden in vain. Not one thorn had pierced her feet, that had not, while entering there, distilled a saving balm. Traveling over many scenes, her memory beheld Harold, as in those early days when her influence and her prayers had changed his heart, and led him from darkness to light. Again, as in the first bitterness of her love for him, when continually he tortured her, never dreaming of the wounds he gave. And once more, as in the time, when knowing her fate, she had calmly prepared to meet it, and tried to make herself a true friend unto him. He so unresponsive, cold and stern. Remembering him thus, she looked at him as he lay, turning for rest and comfort to her, only her. Once more, she kissed his forehead as he slept, and then her lips uttered the words with which Mrs. Flora had blessed her. Oh God, I thank thee, for thou hast given me my heart's desire. Soon after Mrs. Quinn entered the room. But no blush came to Olive's cheek. Too solemn was her joy. Hush! she whispered. Do not wake him. He loves me. I know it now. You will not be angry. I have loved him always. I knew it, Olive. Harold's mother stood a long time in silence. Heaven only knows what struggle there might have been in her heart, so bound up as it was in him, her only child. Air it ended, he awoke. Mother, is not that my mother? Yes, Mrs. Quinn answered. She went up and kissed them both, first her son and afterwards Olive. Then, without speaking, she quitted the room, leaving them alone together. End of Chapter 47 Chapter 48 of Olive. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. It was a Sunday afternoon, not bright, but dull. All the long day the low clouds had been dropping freshness down, the soft May rain which falls warm and silent, as if the spring were weeping itself away for very gladness. Through the open window came the faint odor which the earth gives forth during rain, an odor of bursting leaves and dew-covered flowers. On the lawn you could almost have seen the grass grow, and though the sky was dull and gray, still the whole air was so full of summer, so rich in the promise of what the next day would be, that you did not marvel to hear the birds singing as merrily as if it had been sunshine. There was one thrush to which Olive had stood listening for half an hour. He sat sheltered in the heart of the great syringa bush, though the rain kept dropping continually from its flowers. He poured out a song so long and merry that he even disturbed his friends in the parlor, the happy, silent three, mother, son, and the sons betrothed. Mrs. Gwynne, who sat in the far corner, put down her book, the best book for Sunday and all other days, the only one she ever read now. Harold, still feeble, lying back in his armchair by the window, listened to the house bird. "'Do you like to hear it, or shall I close the window?' said Olive, coming towards him. "'Nay, it does me good. Everything does me good now,' he answered, smiling, and then he lay a long time, quietly looking on the garden and the misty view beyond. Olive sat, looking alone at him, watching him in that deep peace, that satisfied content with which our eyes drink in every lineament beloved, when, all sorrow past, the fullness of love has come. No need had she to seek his, as though asking restlessly, "'Do you love me?' In her own love's completeness she desired no demonstration of his. To her it was perfect joy only to sit near him and to look at his face, the face which, whether seen or remembered, shone distinct from every other face in the wide world, and had done so from the first moment when it met her sight. Very calm and beautiful it was now. So beautiful that even his mother turned round and looked at him for a moment with dimmed eyes. "'You are sure you feel quite well today? I mean as well as usual. You are not sitting up too long or wearying yourself too much.' "'Oh, no, mother. I think I could even exert myself more, but there is such sweetness in this dreamy life. I am so happy. It will be almost a pain to go back to the troublesome world again.' "'Do not say so, my son. Indeed we must have you quite well soon. The sooner the better, and then you will return to all your old duties. When I sat in church this morning, I was counting how many Sundays it would possibly be before I heard my son Harold's voice there again.' Harold moved restlessly. "'What say you, Olive, my dear?' continued Mrs. Gwyn. "'Will it not be a pleasure to hear him in his own pulpit again? How soon, thank you, will he be able to preach?' "'I cannot tell,' answered Olive, in a low voice, and she looked anxiously at her betrothed. For well she knew his heart, and well she guessed that though that heart was pure and open in the sight of God and in her sight, it might not be so in that of every man. And although his faith was now the Christian faith, even in many points that of the church, still Olive doubted whether he would ever be a church of England minister again. No wonder that she watched his face in anxious love, and then looked from him to his mother, who, all unconscious, continued to speak. "'In truth all your parishioners will be glad to have you back.' Even Mrs. Fledger was saying so yesterday, and noticing that it was a whole year since you had preached in your own church. A long absence. Of course it could not be helped. Still it was rather a pity. Please God it shall not happen again. Shall it, Harold?' "'Mother, mother!' His hands were crushed together, and with a look of pain Olive stole to his side. "'Perhaps we are talking too much. Shall we go away, Harold, and leave you to sleep?' "'Hush, Olive, hush,' he whispered. "'I have thought of this before. I knew I must tell it to her. All the truth.' "'But not now. Not now. Wait till you are stronger. Wait a week, a day.' "'No, not an hour. It is right.' "'What are you talking to my son about?' said Mrs. Gwynne, with a quick jealousy, which even yet was not altogether stilled. Neither of the betrothed spoke. "'You are not hiding anything from me, Harold, from me, your mother.' "'My mother, my noble self-denying mother,' murmured Harold, as if thinking aloud. "'Surely if I sinned for her, God will forgive me.' "'Sinned for me? What are you talking of, Harold? Is there anything in your mind? Anything I do not know?' And her eyes, still tender, yet with a half-formed suspicion, were fixed searchingly on her son. And when, as if to shield him even from his mother, Olive leaned over him, Mrs. Gwynne's voice grew stern with reproof. "'Stand aside, Olive. Let me see his face. Not even you have a right to interpose between me and my son.'" Olive moved a little aside. Very meek was she, as one had need to be whom Mrs. Gwynne would call daughter and Harold wife. Yet by her meekness she had oftentimes controlled them both. She did so now. "'Olive, darling,' whispered Harold, his eyes full of love. "'My mother says right. Let her come and sit by me a little. Nay, stay near, though. I must have you in my sight. It will strengthen me.'" She pressed his hand and went away to the other end of the room. Then Harold said, tenderly, "'Mother, I want to tell you something.' "'It is no misfortune, no sin. Oh, my son, I am too old to bear either,' she answered, as she sat down, trembling a little. "'My own mother, my mother that I love, dearer now than ever in my life before, listen to me, and then judge me.'" Twelve or fourteen years ago there was a son, an only son, who had a noble mother. She had sacrificed everything for him. The time came when he had to sacrifice something for her. It was a point of conscience, light perhaps then, but still it caused him a struggle. He must conquer it, and he did so. He stifled all scruples, pressed down all doubts, and became a minister of a church in whose faith he did not quite believe. "'Go on,' said Mrs. Gwynne hurriedly, "'I had a fear once, a bitter fear, but no matter, go on.' "'Well, he did this sin, for sin it was, though done for his mother's sake. He had better have supported her by the labour of his hands than have darkened his soul by a lie. But he did not think of that then. All the fault was his, not his mother's. Mind, I say, not his mother's.' She looked at him, and then looked away again. He could blame no one but himself. He never did, though his first faint doubts grew until they prisoned him like a black mist, through which he could see neither earth nor heaven. Men's natures are different. His was not meant for that of a quiet village priest. Circumstances, associations, habits of mind, all were against him. And so his skepticism and his misery increased, until, in despair of heaven, he plunged into the oblivion of an earthly passion. He went mad for a woman's beauty, for her beauty only. Harold pressed his hand upon his brow, as if old memories stung him still. His betrothed saw it, but she felt no pain. She knew that her own love had shown down into his heart's dark depths, removing every stain, binding up every wound. By that love's great might she had saved him, won him, and would have power to keep him ever more. Mother, Harold pursued, I must pass on quickly to the end. This man's one error seemed to cause all fate to rise against him, that he might become an infidel to God and to man. At last he had faith in no living soul except his mother. This alone saved him from being the vilest wretch that ever crawled, as he was already the most miserable. A faint groan, only one, broke from the depth of the mother's heart, but she never spoke. There was no escape. His pride shut out that. So year after year he fulfilled his calling, and lived his life, honestly, morally, towards man at least, but towards heaven it was one long awful lie. For he, a minister in God's temple, was in his heart an infidel. Harold stopped. In his strong excitement he had forgotten his mother. She, letting go his hand, glided to her knees. There she knelt for a long time, her lips moving silently. At last she rose. Her grand figure lifted to its utmost height. Her face very stern, her voice without one tone of tremulous age or mother's anguish. And this hypocrite in man's sight, this blasphemer in the face of God, is my son, Harold? Was, but is not. Never will be more. His mother have mercy, for heaven has had mercy too. I am no sceptic now. I believe, I, fervently and humbly believe. Mrs. Gwyn uttered a great cry and fell on his neck. Never since the time when he was a child in her arms had he received such a passionate clasp, an embrace mingled with weeping that shook the whole frame of the aged mother. For a moment she lifted her head, murmured a thanksgiving for the son who was dead and alive again, was lost and found, and then she clung to him once more. Olive kept aloof, until, seeing what a ghastly paleness was coming over the face of her betrothed, she came and stood beside him, saying, Do not talk more, you are too weak, let me tell the rest. You there, Olive? Go, leave my son to me, you have no part here. But Harold held his betrothed fast. Nay, mother, take her and bless her, for it was she who saved your son. And then, in a few broken words, he told the rest of the tale, told it so that not even his mother could be wounded by the thought of a secret known to Olive and concealed from her, of an influence that over her son was more powerful than her own. Afterwards, when Olive's arms were round her neck, and Olive's voice was heard imploring pardon for both, her whole heart melted within her. Solemnly she blessed her sons betrothed and called her daughter. Now, my Harold, she said, when all trace of emotion having passed from either, she sat quietly by her son's side. Now I understand all. Olive is right. With your love of action, and a spirit that would perhaps find a limitation in the best forms of belief, you never can be again a minister of the English church. We must not think of it any more. But mother, how shall we live? That is what tortures me. With or shall we turn if we go from Harbury? Alone I could bear anything, but you. No matter for me. My Harold, she added, a little moved. If you had trusted me and told me your sufferings at any time all these years, I would have given up everything here and lived as I once did when you were a youth at college. It was not hard then, nor would it have been now. Oh, my son, you did not half know your mother. He looked at her, and slowly, slowly there rose in his eyes, those clear, proud, manly eyes, two great, crystal tears. He was not ashamed of them. He let them gather and fall, and olive loved him dearer, I ten thousand times, even though these tears, the first and last she ever beheld him shed, were given not to her, but to his mother. Mrs. Gwynn resumed, let us think what we must do, for we have no time to lose. As soon as you are quite strong you must give up the curacy, and we will leave Harbury. Your dear old home from which you have often said you could never part. Oh, mother, mother, it is nothing, do not think of it, my son. Afterwards what must you do? I cannot tell. Olive, think for me," said Harold, looking helplessly towards her. Olive advised, timidly at first, but growing firmer as she proceeded, that he should carry out his old plan of going to America. They talked over the project for a long time and assured. Air the afternoon closed it was finally decided on, at least so far as Harold's yet doubtful health permitted. But I shall grow strong now, I know. Mother, Olive, my heart is lightened of the load of years. And truly it seemed so. Nay, when tea-time came he even rose and walked across the room with something of his old firm's step, as if the returning health were strong within him. After tea, Harbury bells broke out in the evening chime. Mrs. Gwynn rose. Olive asked if she were thinking of going to church. Yes, to thank God. Go with her, Olive," said Harold, as he watched his mother from the room. Olive followed, but Mrs. Gwynn said she would rather go to church alone and Harold must not be left. Olive stayed with her a few minutes, rendering all those little services which youth can so sweetly pay to age. And sweet too was the reward when Harold's mother kissed her and more called her daughter. So, full of content, she went downstairs to her betrothed. Harold was again sitting in his favourite armchair by the window. The rain had lately ceased, and just at the horizon there had come to the heavy grey sky a golden fringe, a line of watery light so dazzling that the eye could scarcely bear it. It filled the whole room and fell like a glory on Harold's head. Olive stood still to look at him. She saw that he was not asleep, though his eyes were cast down in painful thought. Something in his expression reminded her of that which she had worn on the night when he first came to Edinburgh, and she had leaned over him, longing to comfort him, as she had now a right to do. She did so. He felt the kiss on his brow and smiled. "'Little Olive, good little Olive, she always comes when I most need her,' he said fondly. "'Little Olive is very happy and so doing. And now tell me what you were thinking of, that you pressed your lips together and knotted your forehead, the broad, beautiful forehead that I love. It was not good of you, my Harold.' "'Do not jest, Olive. I cannot. If I go abroad I must go alone. What will become of my mother and Ily?' "'They shall stay and comfort me. Nay, you will not forbid it. How could I go on with my painting, living all alone?' "'Aye, there is another sting,' he answered. "'One word, say you. But I feel it. How many years you may have still to work on alone?' "'Do you think I fear that? Nay, I do not give my heart like some women I have known. From dread of living to be an old maid, or to gain a house, a name, and a husband, I gave it for love, pure love. If I were to wait for years, if I were never your wife at all, but died only your betrothed, still I should die satisfied. You know not how sweet it is to love you and be loved by you to share all your cares and rejoice in all your joys. Indeed, indeed I am content.' "'You might, my gentle one, but not I. Little you think how strong is man's pride, how stronger still is man's love. We will not look to such a future. I could not bear it. If I go, you shall go with me, my wife. Poor or not, what care I, so you are mine?' He spoke hurriedly, like the proud Harold of old. I, the pride, mingled with a stronger passion still. But Olive smiled both down. Harold, she said, parting his hair with her cool, soft hands. Do not be angry with me. You know I love you dearly. Sometimes I think I must have loved you before you loved me long. Yet I am not ashamed of this.' Ah, he muttered, how often ignorantly I must have made you suffer. Then, blindly struggling with my own pride, have I tortured you. But still, still I loved you. Forgive me, dear. Nay, there is nothing to forgive. The joy has blotted out all the pain. It shall do so when you are once mine. That must be soon, Olive, soon.' She answered firmly, though a little blushing the while. It should be tomorrow, if for your good. But it would not be. You must not be troubled with worldly cares. To see you so would break my heart. No, you must be free to work and gain fame and success. My love shall never fetter you down to anxious poverty. I regard your glory even dearer than yourself, you see. Gradually she led him to consent to her entreaty, that they should both work together for their dearest ones, and that in the home which she with her slender means could win, there should ever be a resting place for Mrs. Gwyn and for Little Eiley. She sat in the twilight with clasped hands, speaking softly and brokenly, or else never speaking at all, only feeling that they were together, they too, who were all in all to each other, while the whole world of life went whirling outside, never touching that sweet center of complete repose. At last Olive's full heart ran over. Oh, Harold! she cried, this happiness is almost more than I can bear. Love me thus, me, poor little Olive, sometimes I feel, as I once bitterly felt, how unworthy I am of you. Darling, why? Because I have no beauty, and besides, I cannot speak it, but you know, you know. She hid her face burning with blushes. The words and act revealed how deeply in her heart lay the sting which had at times tortured her her whole life through. Shame for that personal imperfection with which nature had marked her from her birth, and which, forgotten in an hour by those who learned to love her, still seemed to herself a perpetual humiliation. The pang came, but only for the last time Eric quitted her heart for ever. For, dispelling all doubts, healing all wounds, fell the words of her betrothed husband, tender though grave. Olive, if you love me and believe that I love you, never grieve me by such thoughts again. To me you are all beautiful in heart and mind, in form and soul. Then, as if silently to count up her beauties, he kissed her little hands, her soft smiling mouth, her long gold curls, and Olive hid her face in his breast, murmuring, I am content since I am fair in your sight, my herald, my only love. CHAPTER 49 Late autumn, that season so beautiful in Scotland, was shining into the house at Morningside. She, its mistress, who had there lived from middle life to far extended years, and then passed from the weakness of age to the renewed youth of immortality, was seen no more within its walls. But her spirit seemed to abide there still, in the flowers which at early spring she had planted for other hands to gather, in the fountain she had placed, which sang its song of murmuring freshness to soothe many in ear and heart, when she, walking by the streams of living waters, needed those of earth no more. Mrs. Flora Rothsay was dead, but she had lived one of those holy lives whose influence remains for generations. So, though now her name had gradually ceased from familiar lips, and from her house and garden walks, her image faded slowly in the thoughts of those who best loved her, still she lived, even on earth, in the good deeds she had left behind, in the happiness she had created, wherever her own sore wounded footsteps trod. In the dwelling from which she had departed there seemed little change. Everything looked as it had done more than a year when Olive had come thither and found rest and peace. There were fewer flowers in the autumnal garden, and the hermitage woods beyond were all brown and gold, but there was the same clear line of the braid hills, their purple slopes lying in the early morning sun. No one looked at them, though, for the breakfast room was empty. But very soon there stole into it with the soft footstep of old, with the same quiet smile Olive Rothsay. No, reader, neither you nor anyone else will ever see Olive Rothsay more. She wears on her finger a golden ring. She bears a new name, the well-beloved name. She is Harold Gwynne's wife now. To their fortunes Heaven allowed, as Heaven sometimes does, the sweetness of a brave resolve, the joy of finding that it is not needed. Scarcely had Olive and her betrothed prepared to meet their future and go on, faithfully loving though perhaps unwetted for years, when a change came. They learned that Mrs. Flora Rothsay, by a will made a little before her death, had devised her whole fortune to Harold, on condition that he should take the name of his ancestors on the mother's side, and be henceforth Harold Gordon Gwynne. She made no reservations, save that she wished her house and personal property at Morningside to go to her grandniece, Olive, adding in the will the following sentence, I leave her this and no more, that she may understand how deeply I reverenced her true woman's nature, and how dearly I loved herself. And Olive did understand all, but she hid the knowledge in her rejoicing heart, both then and always. It was the only secret she ever kept from her husband. She had been married some weeks only, yet she felt as if the old life had been years gone by, so faint and dreamlike did it seem. Hers was a very quiet marriage, a quiet honeymoon, fit crowning of a love which had been so solemn, almost sad from its beginning to its end. Its end, say rather its new dawn, its fulfillment in a deeper, holier bond than is ever dreamed of by girlish sentiment or boyish passion, the still, sacred love of marriage. And however your modern infidels may doubt, and your free-thinking heart is off, that is the true love, the tie which God created from the beginning, making man and woman to be one flesh and pronouncing it good. It is good. None can question it who sees the look of peace and full contentment, a look whose like one never beholds in the wide world save then, as it sits smiling on the face of a bride who has married for true love. Very rare it is, indeed. Rare as such marriages ever are, as it sometimes. We saw it, reader, a while since, on a young wife's face, and it made us think of little Olive in her happy home at Morningside. She stood by the window for a minute or two, her artist soul drinking in all that was beautiful in the scene. Then she went about her little household duties, already grown so sweet. She took care that Mrs. Gwynne's easy-chair was placed in its proper angle by the fire, and that Harold had beside his plate a great, ugly scientific book which he always liked to read at breakfast. Indeed, it was a saying of Mary and McGillivray's, from whose bonny face the cloud had altogether passed, leaving only a thoughtful gravity meet for a girl who would shortly leave her maiden home for one far dearer. Mary in often said that Mr. Gwynne was trying to make his wife as learned as himself, and that his influence was robbing their Scottish Academy of no one knew how many grand pictures. Perhaps it might be. It was a natural and a womanly thing that in her husband's fame Olive should almost forget her own. When she had seen all things ready Olive went away upstairs, and stood by a child's bed, little Ily's. Not the least sweet of all her new ties was it that Harold's daughter was now her own. And tender, like a mother's, was the kiss with which she wakened the child. There was in her hand a book, a birthday gift for Ily was nine years old that day. Oh, how good you are to me, my sweet dear new mama, cried the happy little one, clinging round Olive's neck. What a pretty pretty book, and you have written in it my name, Ily. But, she added after a shy pause, I wish, if you do not mind, that you would put there my whole long name which I am just learning to write. That I will, my pet, come tell me what shall I say. Word for word. Allison? Yes, that is it. My beautiful long name which I like so much, though no one ever calls me by it. Allison, Sarah, Gwyn. Sarah? Did they call you Sarah? said Olive, letting her pen fall. She took the little girl in her arms, and looked long and wistfully into the large oriental eyes, so like those which death had long failed. And her tears rose remembering the days of her youth. How strange, how very strange had been her whole life's current, even until now. She thought of her who was no more, whose place she filled, whose slighted happiness was to herself the summit of all joy. But heaven had so willed it, and to that end had made all things tend. It was best for all. One moment her heart melted, thinking of the garden at the edge, the thorn-tree at the riverside, and afterwards at the long-closed grave at Harbury, over which the grass waved in forgotten silence. Then, pressing highly to her bosom, she resolved that while her own life lasted, she would be a faithful and most loving mother unto poor Sarah's child. A mother! The word brought back, as it often did when Harold's daughter called her by that name, another memory, never forgotten, though the holy records of the past. Even on her marriage day the thought had come. Oh, thou, to whom in life I gave all love, all duty, now needed by thee no more, both pass unto him. If souls can behold and rejoice in the happiness of those beloved on earth, mother, look down from heaven and bless my husband. Nor did it wrong the dead, if this marriage bond involved another, which awakened in olive's feelings almost a renewal of the love once buried in Mrs. Rothsay's grave. And Harold's wife inly vowed that while she lived, his mother should never want the devotion and affection of a daughter. In the past fading memories of olive's former life was one more, which now grew into a duty over whose fulfillment, even amidst her bridal happiness, she pondered continually and talked thereof to her husband, to whom it was scarcely less absorbing. Since they came home to Morningside, they had constantly sought at St. Margaret's for news of crystal manners. Many times olive had written to her, but no answer came. The silence of the convent walls seemed to fold itself over all revelations of the tortured spirit which had found refuge there. However, crystal had taken no vows. Mrs. Flora and Harold had both been rigid on that point, and the good nuns reverenced their order too much to admit anyone might have sought it from the impulse of despair, rather than from any pious vocation. Olive's heart yearned over her sister. On this day she resolved to make one more effort to break the silence between them. So, in the afternoon, she went to the convent quite alone, walking through the pleasant lanes where she had formerly walked with Marion McGillivray. Strange contrast between the present and the past. When she stood in the little convent parlor, she remembered how she had stood there with a bursting heart that longed for any rest, any oblivion to dead in its cruel pain. Olive trembled with her happiness now, and she felt how solemn is the portion of those whose cup God has thus crowned, in order that they may pour it out before him continually, in offerings of thanksgiving and of fruitful deeds. Sister Ignatia entered, the same bright-eyed, benevolent, simple soul. You are come again this week, too, my dear Mrs. Harold Gwynn. I can hardly remember your new name even yet, but I fear you are coming as vain, though day after day I beseech your sister to see you. She will not, then, said Olive, sighing. No, yet she says she has no bitterness against you. How could she? However I ask no questions, for the past is all forgotten here, and I love the poor young creature. Oh, if you knew her pasts, her vigils, and her prayers, God and the Holy Mother pity her. Poor, broken-hearted thing, said the compassionate nun. Speak to her once more. Do not tell her I am here. Only speak of me to her, said Olive. And she waited anxiously until Sister Ignatia came back. She says she is glad you are happy, and married to that good friend of hers, to whom she owes so much, but that she is dead to the world and wishes to hear any more. Still, when I told her you lived at Morningside, she began to tremble. I think. I hope if she were to see you suddenly before she had time to reflect, only not now, you look so agitated yourself. No. No, I can always be calm at will. I have long learned that. Your plan is kind. Let it be to-day. It may end in good, please God. Where is my dear sister? She is sitting in the dormitory of the school. She stays a great deal with our little girls, and takes much care of them, especially of some orphans that we have. Olive sighed. Well, she read unhappy crystal's reason. But it showed some softening of the stony heart. Almost hopeful, she followed Sister Ignatia to the dormitory. It was a long narrow room lined with tiny white beds. Over its pure neatness good fairies might have continually presided. Through it swept the fresh air coming from the open window which overlooked the garden. And there, darkening it with her tall black shadow, stood the only present occupant of the room, crystal manners. She wore a garb half secular, half religious. Her black, surged dress betrayed no attention to fashion, scarcely even to neatness. Her beautiful hair was all put back under a white linen veil, and her whole appearance showed that last bitter change in a woman's nature, when she ceases to have a woman's instinctive personal pride. Olive saw not her face, except the cheek's outline, worn to the straightness of age. Nor did crystal observe Olive until she had approached quite close. Then she gave a wild start. The old angry flush mounted to her temples, and sank. Why did you come here? She said, hoarsely. I sent you word I wished to see no one, that I was utterly dead to the world. But not to me. Oh, not to me, my sister. Sister! She repeated, with flashing eyes, and then crossed herself humbly, muttering, the evil spirit must not rise again. Help me, Blessed Mother! Good Saints, help me! She told her rosary over once, twice, and then turned to Olive, subdued. Now say what you have to say to me. I told you I had no anger in my heart. I even asked you forgiveness. I only desire to be left alone, to spend the rest of my bitter life in penance and prayer. But I cannot leave you, my sister. I wish you would not call me so, nor take my hand, nor look at me as you do now, as you did the first night I saw you, and again on that awful, awful day. And crystal sank back on one of the little beds, the thornless pillow where some happy child slept, and there she sobbed bitterly. More than once she motioned Olive away, but Olive would not go. Do not send me away, if you knew how I suffered daily from the thought of you. You suffer, happy as they tell me you are, you with your home and your husband. Ah, crystal, even my husband grieves, my husband who would do anything in the whole world for your peace. You have forgotten, Harold. A softness came over crystal's face. No, I have not forgotten him. Day and night I pray for him who saved more than my life, my soul. For that deed may God bless him, and God pardon me. She said this, shuddering, too, as at some awful memory. After a while she spoke to Olive in a gentler tone, for the first time lifting her eyes to her sister's face. You seem well in health, and you have a peaceful look. I am glad of it. I am glad I am happy and married to Harold Gwynn. He told me of his love for you. But he could not tell you all. If I am happy I have suffered, too. We must all suffer some time, but suffering ends in time. Not with me, not with me. But I desire not to talk of myself. Shall I talk, then, about your friend Harold, your brother? He told me to say he would ever be so to you," said Olive, striving to awaken crystal sympathies. And she partly succeeded, for her sister listened quietly and with some show of interest while she spoke of Harold and of their dear home. It is so near you, too. We can hear the convent bells when we walk in our pretty garden. You must come and see it, crystal. No. No, I have rest here. I will never go beyond these walls. As soon as I am twenty-one I shall become a nun, and then I, with all my sorrows, shall be buried out of sight for evermore. So said she, and Olive did not contradict her at the time. But she thought that if there was any strength in faithful affection and earnest prayers, the peace of a useful life spent not in barren solitude but in the fruitful garden of God's world should be crystal's portion yet, one only doubt troubled her. After considering for a long time she ventured to say, I have told you now nearly all that has happened among us this year. You have spoken of all your friends, save one. She hesitated, and at last uttered the name of Lyle. Hush! said crystal. But her cheeks paleness changed not. Her heavy eye neither kindled nor drooped. Hush! I do not wish to hear that name. It has passed out of my world for ever. Blotted out by the horrors that followed. Then you have forgotten. Forgotten all. It was but a dream of my old vain life. It troubles me no more. Thank God! murmured Olive. Though in her heart she marveled to think how many false reflections there were of the one true love, the only love that can endure, such as had been hers. She bade an affectionate farewell to her sister, who went with her to the outer court of the convent. Crystal did not ask her to come again, but she kissed her when they parted, and once looked back, she again passed into the quiet, silent home which she had chosen as her spirit's grave. Olive walked on quickly, for the afternoon was closing. Very soon she heard overtaking her a footstep, whose sound quickened her pulse even now. How good and thoughtful of him! My dear Harold! My husband! Never did she say or think the words, but her heart swelled with inexpressible emotion, remembering the old time, the long, silent struggle, the wasting pain. Yet she would have born it all a thousand times. I even had the end come never in her life on earth, rather than not have known the sweetness of loving, the glory of loving one like him. Harold met her with a smile. I have been waiting long. I could not let my little Olive walk home alone. She, who had walked through the world alone for so many weary years, she would never do so any more. She clung to her husband's arm, clasping over it both her little hands in a sweet caressing way, and so they went on together. Olive told him all the good news she had to tell, and he rejoiced with her for Crystal's sake. He agreed that there was hope and comfort for their sister still, for he could not believe there was in the whole world a heart so hard and cold, that it could not be melted by Olive's gentle influence, and warmed by the shining of Olive's spirit of love. They were going home, when she saw that her husband looked tired and dull. He had been pouring over his books all day. For though now independent of the world, as regarded fortune, he could not relinquish his scientific pursuits, but was every day adding to his acquirements, and to the fame which had been his when only a poor clergyman at Harbury. So, without saying anything, Olive led him down the winding road towards the braid hills, laughing and talking with him the while, to send the cobwebs out of his brain as she often told him. Though at the time she never let him see how skillfully she did this, lest his man's dignity should revolt at being so lovingly beguiled, for he was still as ever the very quintessence of pride. Well, for him his wife had not that quality, yet perhaps she loved him all the better for possessing it. At the gate of the hermitage his wife was paused. Neither of them had seen the place since they last stood there. At the remembrance he seemed greatly moved. His wife looked lovingly up to him. Harold, are you content? You would not send me from you. You would not wish to live your whole life without me now. No, no, he cried, pressing her hand close to his heart. The mute gesture said enough. Olive desired no more. They walked on a long way, even climbing to the summit of the braid hills. The night was coming on fast, the stormy night of early winter, for the wind had risen and swept howling over the Heathery ridge. But I have my plaid here, and you will not mind the cold, my lassie, Scottish-born, said Harold to his wife. And in his own cheek, now brown with health, rose the fresh mountain blood, while the bold mountain spirit shone in his fearless eyes. No marvel that Olive looked with pride at her husband, and thought that not in the whole world was there such another man. I glory in the wind, cried Harold, tossing back his head, and shaking his wavy hair, something lion-like. It makes me strong and bold. I love to meet it, to wrestle with it, to feel myself in spirit and frame, stern to resist, daring to achieve, as a man should feel. But, olive, with her clinging sweetness, her upward gaze was a type of true woman. I think, Harold continued, that there is a full rich life before me yet. I will go forth and rejoice therein, and if misfortune come I will meet it, thus. He planted his foot firmly on the ground, lifted his proud head, and looked out fearlessly with his majestic eyes. And I, said Olive, she stole her two little cold hands under his plaid, laid her head upon them, close to his heart, and smiling, nestled there. And the loud fierce wind swept by, but it harmed not them, thus warm and safe in love. So they stood, true man and woman, husband and wife, ready to go through the world without fear, trusting in each other, and looking up to heaven to guide their way. End of Chapter 49 End of Olive by Dinah Maria Craig