 Hi, I'm Matthew Coast, head dating coach and founder of commitmentconnection.com and in this video we're going to talk about how to spot a narcissist. But before we talk about that, if you're struggling to attract Mr. Wright into a committed lasting relationship, make sure you go to my website at commitmentconnection.com and take the quiz. So today's question comes from a woman in our community and she asks How do I spot a narcissist? And so it's very important to recognize the difference between a narcissist and someone with high self-esteem Because it kind of gets confused a lot of times. The difference is that a narcissist is someone who is insecure and someone with high self-esteem is someone who is secure in themselves and both typically will talk themselves up and talk highly of themselves and But the reason that narcissists do it is because they're pretending like they're perfect and they try to cover up their flaws their faults and their insecurities by talking about how awesome they are Whereas men with high self-esteem Usually admit that they have insecurities flaws and faults within themselves But a lot of times I'll also talk about how they're working on them and they're not perfect And you know all that kind of stuff whereas narcissists are like really determined to make you think that they're perfect just because they're hiding those feelings of insecurity and self-doubt and Feelings of not being worthy underneath all that some you know talk about how awesome they are So in other words Narcissists won't get authentically vulnerable with you whereas men with high self-esteem Will so men with high self-esteem Will get vulnerable though. They'll talk about real topics. They'll share vulnerabilities that they have and You know if you want to talk and find out if a guy is a narcissist or not You know talk to him about real topics, you know talk to him about Your vulnerabilities talk to him about you know stuff. That's that's real and just see how he reacts to if he gets all crazy And it is you know Defensive and you know wants to get out of the conversation or thinks you're weird or whatever he's probably a narcissist and You should probably stay away from him But if he admits faults in himself and he's just real about it and he's honest and authentic then He's probably not a narcissist so I hope that helps and That's it for this video if you want more information about how to what's stopping you from attracting mr Right into a committed lasting relationship Make sure you go to my website at commitment connection calm and take the quiz I'm Matthew coast and I'll speak with you again soon