 Find verse 18 in Ephesians chapter 5, find verse 18, and this very familiar passage starts out by Paul the Apostle saying, and do not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives submit to your own husbands, asked to the Lord, for the husband as head of the wife is also Christ as head of the church, and he is the savior of the body, therefore just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be their own husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies, he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of his body and of his flesh and of his bones, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ in the church, nevertheless let each one of you in so particular see that he love his own wife as himself and let his wife see that she respects her husband. Father as we come to your word again just for a few minutes before we get to break for lunch and then we get the afternoon with the individual sessions and the question and answers, God there's more that you want to do, but as we together get together this one time today I pray that you would be our teacher here today, that you would speak into our hearts, you would speak into our lives, and you would help us be the husbands and the wives that you're calling us to be. We cannot do it without you and so we ask for you to have your presence fill this place as it already has all this morning. God may you do it again and speak into our lives in Jesus' name we pray, amen, amen you may be seated. As we continue this theme of the dance, all of us know that that if a dance is going to be successful, if a dance is going to be all attractive to look at, both need to participate, both need to be dancing. My wife is an amazing wife. I am so lucky to be married to her, but she does not like to dance. I just imagine that my wife would want me to take her dancing all the time, 23 years in that is not her thing. So when we're out to dinner and an amazing song comes on, I just start to move around because I love embarrassing her with all that I am. So we'll be sitting at the table and we're just eating dinner and all of a sudden I'm and she's like, stop it. What are you doing? And I'm like, I'm just grooving, babe. What are you doing? And it's awkward and it's weird because I'm the only one dancing. At least if she was moving too, they think that is a crazy couple over there. So when it's just me, it's awkward and it's weird and so too in a marriage. If there's just one of us going to the Bible and doing what God has called us to do as a husband or a wife, if it's just one of us opening up God's word and saying, God, what do you want us to do? The dance is awkward. The dance is weird. But when we together as a couple say, God, what are you calling me to do as a husband? What are you calling me to do as a wife? Things that we've already heard today in these Bible studies, then it starts to look like something that is beautiful, something that is God ordained, something that God wants us to be. And so we can learn from the Bible how to dance the two step, how to each have a step that we are supposed to do. And here in Ephesians 5, God gives us husbands and he gives us wives the steps, the dance that we are supposed to do. And what I love about Ephesians 5 is God gives each of us husbands, each of us wives, he gives us one thing to remember. And I love just the brilliance and at the same time, the simplicity of the Lord. Because when we deal with the subject of marriage, there's a lot on the market, amen? There's a lot of books out there and they each have their different focus, they each have their different emphasis, and that's fine because each of them can be very helpful, but sometimes it's hard to remember. It's hard to remember how do I have a kingdom marriage? How do I focus on the act of marriage? How do I learn to cherish? How do I speak five love languages? I struggle with English. How do I speak with five love languages? I still have no idea if I'm from Mars or Venus, but I am pretty sure she is spaghetti and I am waffles. I'm pretty sure of that because I love my little boxes and I love to stay there. There's so much great information, but it's like God says, hey little dumb sheep speaking to me, not to you. Can you remember one thing? Can you hold on to one key in your marriage? And I think even us guys in the room can say, yeah, I can do that. Are you going to talk about sex again like Pastor Sandy? Not really. Well, I'm tuning out, but I think all of us can hold on to one thing. I think all of us can hold on to one thing, and here in Ephesians chapter five, God gives us one thing, but before he does, I think we often skip to husbands are to love their wife, like Christ loves the church, and wives are to respect their husbands, and we need to get there, but before we get there, we have to bring our gaze a little earlier in the text, because you see, before God ever said to husbands, love your wife, before he ever said to wives, respect your husband, the first thing he told us to do is instead of being drunk with wine in which is dissipation, just life without limits, he says, you and I must be filled with the Spirit. You see, if we're ever going to dance this two step, if we're ever going to do the one thing God has asked us as husbands, and the one thing God has asked you precious gals to do as wives, if we're ever going to be able to do that successfully, we cannot do it in the power of the flesh. We must be men and women filled with the Holy Spirit. Paul the Apostle says, don't be drunk with wine, but instead be filled with the Spirit. And that little phrase there is so packed, it's so pregnant with information, that phrase there is imperative, meaning it is a command. It is not optional as we think, well, you know, some people need to hear that. Some people need to be men and women and couples that are filled with the Holy Spirit. No, this is a command for every single one of us. If you want to be the husband, God is calling you to be. If you desperately desire to be the wife, God is calling you to be. It is not an option. We must be filled with the Spirit. Amen? We have to be. We have to go and say, God, I can't do these things. Would you fill me with your Spirit? It is, it is a command. And then secondly, it's plural, meaning it's a command for everyone. It's not just we read or our Bibles. We think, well, you know, Pastor Sandy and his wife, they really should be filled with the Spirit. And Pastor Dave and he should really be filled with the Spirit. But you know, I'm just back row Joe. And if you're in the back row, your name is Joe. I wasn't picking on you. I don't know that. But we just say, hey, I'm just, I don't really know these things. I'm just a plumber. I'm just a doctor. I'm just a lawyer. I don't need these things. Yes, you do. These are a command for everyone. Sometimes we think the rules are for other people. Amen? When my kids were young, they're now 21 and 19 and 17, when they were young though, we lived out in Texas. We were a pastor in a church in Texas and we were from here. And so we would come out every summer to be back home and we'd always take the kids to Disneyland. We grew up going. My wife and I, when we were kids out here, so we wanted our kids to have that same experience. And my son, when he was little, his hero was Buzz Lightyear. It was like God and Buzz and not always in that order. And so they had this Pixar parade at Disneyland and I had worked it out because I'm a schedule guy. I knew where we're going to have dinner and we would come out right when the parade was starting and it would be the best seats in the house and I had this plan. But those of you that have been to Disneyland, you know, it costs more than you can imagine and it always takes longer. And so at the end of the dinner, we were watching the very end of the Pixar parade passed by where I had planned us to watch the whole thing. And I look at my son and he is just devastated because I've been telling him for months, you're going to get to see Buzz. Buzz is going to be there. He's so excited and the parade is over. So I go into negotiations. I'm like, son, I will mortgage the house a second time. We will get back to Disneyland. I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I'm going to make it. I'm telling him I'll find Buzz again. That's not how my wife handled that situation. She grabbed my five-year-old son and she went running down the parade route. And in that parade, they got people in the back of parade dancing with little lights. And they're just sweet Disneyland employees. But what they mean is you're not allowed to go here. This is not for you. But my wife went full on heisman on these people. She's like, and just right past these people with the little lights running, not in along the parade route until she finally gets to what was the final float, which was Buzz Lightyear. And she holds up my son to Buzz. And what I'm told, because I was back obeying the law with my two daughters, what I'm told is that Buzz gave him my son a big thumbs up. And from that day forward, my son's hero has been his mom. And so now it's like, mom, God and Buzz and dad is just way, way, way down there on the list. But where my wife, you know, didn't want to follow the rules as a good motherly instinct. She's amazing. Some of us make that mistake not with Disneyland rules, but with God's rules. And we think that they don't apply to us. They do. We have got to open up this book that we are in, in this, this church where we're taught it so well. We're to open up this book and say, God, like Pastor Sandy said earlier, God, you created marriage. You created intimacy. You created family. This is not the world stick. This is not the world's ordeal. This is God ordained what we're talking about here today. And the God of the universe has a way that it is to be done. And so all of us need to say it's not rules for other people. It is rules for me to get the most out of my marriage. This phrase to be filled is imperative, meaning it's a command. It's plural, meaning it's a command for everyone. And then it's passive. It's a passive Greek phrase, meaning you can't do it yourself. You can't just decide today when you put it in your notes. You can decide how to woo with words. You can do that. You can write it down and follow the advice. But for you to be filled with the Spirit, it's more than just putting it in your notepad. You have got to go to the Lord and say, God, fill me with your Spirit. And the amazing thing about that is God wants you to fill you with the Spirit. He says this to his disciples in Luke chapter 11. He says, So I say to you, ask, and it'll be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it'll be open to you. For everyone who asks receives, and to he who seeks finds. But to him who knocks, it'll be opened. If a son asks for bread from any father among you, would you give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will you give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will you offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to him who asks? You know, we hear these verses, and sometimes you see them on Christian TV, right? Ask, and it will be given. Seek, and you shall find. I don't know why all the TV pastors have to preach that way. But it's all followed by, ask for a Lamborghini, and God will give you the Lamborghini. That is so not what God is talking about, amen? He says, Seek, you're gonna find. Ask, I will give it to you. But what he's talking about is not a house on a hill or a car. He's saying, I know you need my spirit. I know that you are orphans apart from me working powerfully in your life. I know you can't be the husbands you desperately want to be. I know you can't be the wives that God is desperately calling you to be, except by the power of the Holy Spirit. And because God knows that, he says, child, just come to me. Just come to me and say, would you ask me? Well, when you're frustrated with how you're behaving at home, when it seems like you just can't make this marriage work, instead of just getting another marriage book, some of those are great. But would you try getting on your knees and saying, God, make me the man you're calling me to be. Make me the woman you're calling me to be. And I can't do it on my own. Would you fill me with your spirit? I know God will meet you there. Because this phrase is not just imperative, meaning it's a command. And it's not just plural, meaning it's a command for everybody. It's not just passive, meaning you can't do it yourself. So go to the Lord. It's also continual, meaning it's something we need to continually do. I think it's good for every single day. I read my Bible every day. I pray every day. And part of what I pray about every day is, God, I am dumb enough to mess this entire thing up today. I am dumb enough to mess up my marriage. I am dumb enough to mess up my ministry. I am dumb enough to poison my kids. So instead of me infecting everything I do today, God instead would you fill me with your spirit that your spirit may transform me into the man that I want to be. It's a conversation I think I need to have with God every single day. And maybe you do too. So it starts with the Holy Spirit. It starts by saying, God, teach me how to walk this two step, to do the one step I'm supposed to do. Teach me, Lord. Fill me. Empower me. And then Paul tells you, after you have the how, then he tells you the what. Then he tells you what we're supposed to do. And again, I know because I know you're a pastor, I know you're a well-taught congregation. I know that certainly everything I'm saying today is not like, oh, I've never heard that before. I'm supposed to love my wife. This is crazy. I know you know this. But so much it's not about knowing it's about doing it, amen. And you've heard that story about that guy that was sick, right? And they couldn't figure out what it was. And so he runs for all these tests. And the doctor calls him up when the test came back. And he says, I need to see you and your wife right away. And he's like, Doc, tell me what? No, no, no. I got to talk to you first. So the couple comes in. And he says to the wife, I need to speak with you. You and you alone first. And the husband's beside himself. What do you mean you're talking? What do I have, doctors? Hold on, hold on, hold on. And he brings the wife into the office. And he says, your husband has something that is super serious. That's the bad news. The good news is, the good news is, though, this can be fixed. But you've got to change everything you do. Your husband can experience no stress from this moment forward. Meaning when he comes home from work, he's already stressed out. You've got to take Sandy Adams notes. And you've got to be the initiator every single day. And unstress him every single day. You've got to make sure that he has no dishes to do. No clothes to pick up. No kids to take after. You've got to give him a massage. You've got to rub his dirty stinky feet. You've got to make him the best food every single day. And if you alleviate all stress and bless him over and over again, your husband is going to live a normal length and a healthy time in his life. And she's just looking at this doctor and she comes out of the office and the husband still doesn't know. He's like, babe, what's wrong? What did he say? And she looked right at him and she said, he said, you're going to die. You're going to die. Because I ain't doing that. You're going to die. You see, it wasn't that she didn't know what to do. It's that she was unwilling to do it. And I know it's a joke, but isn't that a lot like us? It's not that we don't know what to do. Most of us are not new to Bible study this morning. We know what the Word of God says about marriage. It's just going to do it. So again, by the power of the Holy Spirit, what are we to do? Well, the step for the guys, the step for you men in the room, you know it. You are to love your wife like Christ loves the church. And if you are kind of new to Bible study, maybe you hear that and you think, well, that's no problem. Love my wife. That's what I do. I'm the love machine. I was listening to Pastor Sandy's last study going, yep, yep. Yeah, I could have preached that message. Yep. I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad that's who you are. But you know that's not what God's talking about, right? You know that there are different words for love in the New Testament. And they mean different things. There's store gay, which is family love. And there's there's there's eros, which is erotic love. There's filet, which is friendship love. But the word that Paul uses there is agape, which is the kind of love that God has for you and I, a selfless love. And again, I'm not to say that the other loves aren't important in marriage. They are friendship and marriage is huge. That's where the the words and the wooing come from in the conversation that is the bill for your intimacy. Friendship is important. Family is who your wife or your husband is. That's that's all their eros is absolutely supposed to be part of your marriage. But when Jesus gives husbands the step that we are about to take, because I want you to love her, and you don't have to be a Greek scholar, because the next phrase in English says, as Jesus loves the church. In other words, you know how Jesus loves you, right men? You know how he loves you. He loves you with a sacrificial love. He was willing to leave heaven where he was worshiped 24 hours a day, seven days a week, angels with all kinds of wings flying around with one set of wings covering their eyes, another one flying, another one, I don't know, praising all saying, holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty. That was like his life. And he leaves all of that to take on human flesh to live in this world. And I know for you and I, this is all we know. So we're like, yeah, this is a great place. The step down Jesus took to live among you and me. And then, and that's just life. He had parents he had to listen to. He had jobs he had to do. And then of course, as all of us know, he died in our place. What a, what a sacrifice. Jesus becoming our sin. Men, that's the gold standard of how we are to love our wives. And there is something in your wife that makes her feel so loved. And the mystery and the beauty and sometimes the difficulty in our marriages is every woman is different, right? So what your wife, the one that God has told you to dwell with understanding with, like God doesn't say understand all women. Because that would be a tough task, right? If God said that, God says, you need to understand, you need to understand the one that you are married to. You got to get her down. You got to find out what she interprets as love. What does she feel loved when you do? And everyone's different. And the problem is a lot of us obviously grow up with the first woman we ever know. That's our mommy, right? And the way that she interprets love is often different than the way that our wives interpret love. My mom, her love language to use the modern terms was active service. She was a single mom. And so when I would come home after school and wash the dishes as a 12 year old, when I would pick up the house, because I was the oldest sibling, and just make sure that my sister was cared for, my mom would come home from work and be over the moon. She was like, oh, I love you and you love me. Look at what you did. And so in my little 12 year old mind, I think, well, this is how women feel loved. You do some dishes. And some of you who that's your love language, you're like, amen to that. Well, my mom on those love language scale, her least important was quality time. She was one of those rare women who has very little friends. She loves to be alone. And we would often eat meals in separate rooms and watch our own TV programs. That was my life growing up. And I just assumed every home was like that. And then I married the most social girl on the planet and years into our years into our marriage. I thought I was doing such a great job because because we had three kids all under five at the same time. And I would give her a day to go get some coffee and just get some sanity back. And I would watch them really means I would put cartoons on and give them food to eat. And I would sleep on the couch. I would watch these children. And then I would make sure that I helped with dishes and changed diapers. And we lived in Texas, Texas. I had some of these Texas dads like you changed diapers. Bro, that's women, that's women women's work. Oh, I don't think so. At least not where I'm from in California. So, okay. But listen, even though I thought I thought I was being a great husband. And I'm sure my wife appreciated the help. We would rarely sit and I would rarely ask, how are you? How are you doing? What's going on in your world? I would rarely ask those questions because my mom never needed that. And that was the first woman I learned how to love. And so when I finally got to a point where my wife just was honest and said, I'm miserable. Because you never asked me how I am. You're always busy building the kingdom of God. And how can I criticize that? She never said it with that. I have a very tone. She never had that tone. But that's what she was saying. You're so busy doing these things that you forgot me. We're not even friends. And I remember when she first said that, literally my heart was like, is that important? That's how clueless I was. And I had to learn. I had to learn. Praise God. My wife is not my mother. Praise God. And the way that she needs to be loved is different than I learned how to love. The different than my priorities are in my life. I got three friends, really good friends. And we talked to each other once a year. And when we talked to each other, nobody's like, dude, how come you're not calling me more? Bro, you know I'm passionate church too. And you know, it's like, how come you haven't checked in on me? Like we never have those conversations. Like we talk and the minute we talk, all's good. All's good. Bro, what's up? Yeah, let's go play golf together. That's literally how my friendships work. And so I thought my best friend in the world, that's how I should treat her. What a fool. But there was a learning to, not what's important to me. Not what's important, not what I've learned to do. But what does she need to be loved? And then, you know, also it changes throughout the years. It changes throughout the years. When I, when I, when I, my personality is I'm, I'm, I'm always going 180 miles an hour. Like literally when I, when I, when I was diagnosed with lymphoma years ago, stage four lymphoma cancer, you know, I'm asking the doctor, how do I get this? And my wife was like, it's all the diet coke that you drink. That's what she was convinced. And she still is. So I can't have it anymore. But, but the doctor's like, well, we don't know. But sometimes we distress our system with like constantly on the go, constantly go, go, go, go, go, go, that, that, that we, our body just can't keep up. And some people have thyroid problems. And some people develop lymphoma. And when he's talking to me, I'm like, dude, that's it. That's it. I mean, I, I, I, I'm just, I'm just always on the go. And, and God has used that in ways that's seeing churches grow in Texas and, and now out there in the desert and all these people fill it. It's just like, this is what I do. My wife has described being married to me as like holding on to a tail of a kite. And she's just going everywhere that she's going. And that's an app description. The first time we were teaching a study, I heard her say that I was like, that's spot on. Like that's right. Poor thing. But she's until very recently, she's been that way too, which has made it work great. We had a vacation one day in one, we had one day in New York City. And so we decided what every couple I know does the one day they have in New York City, we got a little hotel by Central Park. We walked the entirety of Central Park. We walked down Times Square. We walked over to the Empire State Building took the elevators up to the top. We walked right by Madison Square Garden. We took a subway down to 9 11 walked all around 9 11. We took a ferry over to Staten Island, came back, took a ferry back, took a subway up to Rockefeller Center and enjoyed the lights and Rockefeller Center all in about 12 hours. And we went to bed that night going, that was the best day ever. That is us until about six months ago. My wife has developed this sickness called MCAST mass cell activation, where her cells tell her she's allergic to everything. She can only eat foods at the current moment, blueberries, avocados, some lettuce. Those are the fun things on the list. She can only drink water, mountain spring water out of a glass bottle. She has Avion or Dasani in a plastic bottle. She starts to shut down only in a glass bottle of one mountain spring water. And her energy has just because of because of what she's feeling. It's just it's just not what it was before. So we celebrate anniversary last weekend. Last weekend we were married 23 years. Congratulations to her putting up with us for 23 years. And the reality is all we did was take a train down to San Diego. We walked one block to our hotel and we walked two blocks for dinner. And my precious bride took three or four days to recover from that exhausting trip. And so now my thought is how do I love who my wife is now? And I'm praying for her healing as I know many of you are that know her. I'm praying God fix but this is who God has for me. And I'm so glad for that. But what does it look like now? It doesn't look like it did when we were 25. What does it look like now? And how can I love her the way she needs to be loved now? Men were to love our wives and you precious gals. I know it's always awkward for a man to teach you how to be a wife. I don't understand that concept works. But I can just read the Bible and tell you what God says. God says to you your step, your step in that is to respect your husband. To respect your husband. You see again these relationships that we have it all started. It all started. You guys fell in love. Why? Because you naturally knew men how to love this girl. You were interested in her. You listened to her. She said that she liked blueberries and suddenly there was a plate of blueberries. Your memory was spot on. And she's like, wow, this man is in to me. And she fell in love and girls you are the exact the same way, weren't you? Oh, what do you do? Oh, that is an amazing job. How does the city of Chino survive without you when you are on a day off? Look at him. Look at his muscle structure. Oh, this is my man. And he would hear that and he'd say, I am. This woman loves me. Oh, man. I remember my wife would, she won't let me listen to her teach. But my office is connected to the speakers at the church. I just sit in my office and have the greatest time listening to her teach. She's amazing. You girls know that. But she was talking about like, my husband, he's just so good looking. I'm just thinking, did your parents drop you on your head when you were a child? Because I'm looking in the mirror and seeing what all of you are seeing right now. And I'm just like, I'm like, oh, keep thinking that, babe. But the way that she treats me, I just, and all of you knew that at one time. But listen, then years go by. And as Pastor Sandy was saying, so brilliantly this morning, all of us do. We have Rachel and Leah and all of us. We have Roy and Leo and all of us. Like we, we have these people. And we sometimes focus on the Leo and the Leas. We focus on those other individuals and that becomes our focus. And so we don't want to woo. And we don't want to win. And we don't want to lift them up. But just like, it is God's command. It is God's command for every man in here to love his wife. Like Jesus loves the church. So it is equally God's command that every one of you precious gals respect your husband. That you come alongside him and you help him. You help him. And I know women hate that. I'm a helper. What is that? I'm a helper. Girls, would you rather be a helper or would you rather be the one where God says he needs help? Who would you rather be? God looks at men and says, they can't do it by themselves. I got to give him the Holy Spirit and, and a woman to help them out. The men need help and we do. We do. We need someone. We live, we live in the same world that you do. I'm not trying to say that only men experience this emotionally. We live in a world where people are so, are so critical. And I think I bring it on because I speak for a living. But you know, outside the church we have, you know, hundreds of people line up and most of them are like, oh, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Which I, which why I have, I have zero reward in heaven because I get it all here on earth. But what I remember is the one person that's like, well, in the last few months, one person, I know why your wife is sick. Why? Because you have secret sin you're not confessing. I was like, oh, and he goes, God told me to tell you that. I was like, God didn't tell you to tell me that. And here's why I know. The minute my wife got sick, that was the first where I went to. I was like, God, I confess everything to you. Don't punish her because of me. Like, that was the first thing I dealt with. God stopped letting my wife walk eight months into this because just waiting to see if I'm serious. Ridiculous. And then, and then two weeks ago, this lady came up and she says, I know why your wife is sick because God is testing you to see whether you're going to be pure. I was like, what? And she goes, yeah, you've made it easy for God to do this test because you've lost a lot of weight. And so you're very handsome. I'm like, oh my goodness. Like, what is going on right now? What is happening right now? These weird conversations and you get, you get so beat up by stuff. It's why, honestly, the hardest thing right now because my wife lives in Oceanside, California. I passed her in Indio, California. That's two and a half hours away from each other. Now, I'm, I'm, I'm there. I live with her. But the hardest part of this, besides watching my wife suffer, is not to look out in the congregation and see one face who I know has my back. To see one face who has always been the encouragement of my life. You see, precious gals, you have no idea what you do to make your husband everything he is. You've heard the joke, the story about the couple who was getting their car filled up in Oregon and, and he was an oil executive. And, and, and all of a sudden, you know, they're filling up the gas and, and the wife is just chatting up this gas attendant. And as he gets back in the car, the husband, as all of us husbands would be like, wow, you were really chatting with that guy. And she says, well, you know, we went to, we went to high school together. Oh, she goes, well, it's actually more than that. We dated. And every man must kill his rival. So, so he says to her, well, that's a good thing you'd marry to me, or you'd be married to a gas station attendant and says, president of the company. And she says, no, if I'd married him, he'd be running the company and you'd be pumping my gas. Now, that is very disrespectful. That's not a key to write down ladies. It's like, this is what I need to say. But there is a truth to that joke. I get to pastor this amazing church with thousands of people that get to come to it. And people look at me and they're like, well, I'm telling you what, that woman right there has made me who I am. Jesus and her together. And I'll talk, when we do our guys session, the background I came out of where I was raised, how I got saved, I have no business pastoring a big church. This woman has come alongside me and believed in me and prayed for me and supported me. And when she gets to heaven and I get this little, little thing that'll fit on the one hair I'll have left by that time, it's just my staff asked me for a 17 year old picture of me this week or study, I'm doing it. And I'm like, I think I have one. I sit and I'm like, all that hair I used to have. I'm like, well, I really, anyway, so I'll have one little hair and they'll go great in that little crown. And she'll get this monstrosity because she's come alongside and said, I believe that God's calling is on your life. Well, no one else did. No one else did. Women, you have the power to infuse into your husband everything they need to become the man God's calling to be with the power of the Holy Spirit. Don't, don't, don't discount that. And you have the power to take it away. Because again, when you refuse to let him lead, when you refuse to let him walk the way he needs to walk, when my wife says to me, I don't know what we're doing. You better lead our family. That scares me to death. And I have to go to God and I have to say, God, I, it would be so much better if she would just make the decision. She knows you. She hears you so clearly. Would she just make a decision? She wants me to lead this family. God, you got to speak to me and guess what happens? I grow and I become everything that God wants me to be. Because I have a wife that comes alongside me and says, you're going to lead. And I'm going to follow. And I believe that God is going to work in your life. And it has changed me over the 23 years that I've been blessed to be her husband. Men, you have the power to change your marriage by loving your wife like Jesus does. You, you can make the decision today. I'm going to love this girl like Jesus loves her in a sacrificial and sanctifying way. I'm going to love her this way. I don't care how I get treated. I don't care how she responds. I don't care about the attitudes. I'm going to make it my mission as a man to love this girl like Jesus does. You have the ability to change your marriage. And so do you ladies to say, I'm going to come alongside him and respect him and lift him up and help him along the way and pray for him and encourage him and let him lead. You have the ability to change this marriage and how much better when a couple sides together and doesn't just say like I do at restaurants, I'm over here doing my thing. And my wife is like, stop it. How much better when it's actually a dance? When you come together and say, I'm going to do what God told me to do. And I'm going to do what God told me to do. I'm going to take God's word and believe that it actually is truth and it actually can transform my marriage. And I'm going to believe these things, not in my own strength, but by coming to the Holy Spirit and saying, God, just like you changed Peter into someone that was afraid, to someone that was the preacher of Pentecost, just like you changed John into someone that was a hothead, into the apostle of love, you can change me in my marriage with all of my shortcomings and all of my issues that I have. And you can change me into a godly man and a godly woman and a marriage that represents Jesus well. Amen. Amen. Let's pray and the worship team come back out. Father, I just want to pray. I want to pray over all these men and all these women. And I agree as Pastor Sandy said early, God, I know that they've given up a day off. Most of them here on a Saturday. They've given up time when they have stuff to do at home. They have just want to sit and relax and they're here. And I know that speaks volumes to you, God. But God, we don't want to just sit in a sanctuary and hear things. We don't want to be just hears of your word. We want to be doers of your word. We want to take all these amazing lessons we've learned this morning from Pastor Sandy, the things that we heard from your word right now. And God, we don't want to be just hears of your word. We want to be doers of your word. We want to take those things and apply them to our marriages. Would you make the men in this room men that would do the one thing you're asking them to do to love their wife? And every time the marriage seems a little off, I pray they would come back to you and say, God, am I doing this one thing? Am I loving her like you want me to love her? And I pray for every wife that she would respect her husband and lift him up and encourage him. And God, the truth is we cannot do this in the power of our flesh. We must, we must, we must be filled with your spirit. And so as we close before lunch with this song and we cry out to you, to your Holy Spirit, would you fill these marriages? Would you fill every individual with your spirit transforming us into the men and women you're calling us to be? And we pray that together in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Let's stand together. Let's stand together.