 As many of you know by now, right-wing grifter, Milo Yiannopoulos, his latest thing that he's doing is he's going around telling everyone that he is an ex-gay. Now, I think it's obvious that he's lying. I very much believe that he is still a practicing homosexual, for lack of a better word. But the reason why I think he's doing this is twofold. One, I think that he's doing this to elevate his profile once again, because he's basically irrelevant now. And second of all, more importantly, I think he's doing this to be accepted back into right-wing circles. You know, he wasn't accepted into all circles on the right, because he was very flamboyant, very openly homosexual. And they very much still are homophobic, even if they haven't been as vocal about it lately. Although that's kind of changing again as they embrace the conservatism of the 2000s. But regardless, he's claiming that he's an ex-gay now, and he has definitive proof that he is on the right path, because he got a sign from God that this is the right thing to do. And that sign from God came in the form of dogs not barking at him anymore. This is what he claims. When I made my announcement, the first thing that happened, which will make you laugh, but it's true, is dogs stopped barking at me. I am one of those people. You know, everyone's got that friend that dogs always go nuts around. You're familiar with this, right? You got pets? Yes. There's always somebody that dogs... My dog doesn't bark at you. That's so true. You bark at me. It's crazy. That's okay. He barks at people. You must have some work left to do. But he didn't bark at my dog. That is true. But I was always one of those... I know this sounds so stupid, but this is just how I think that God reveals himself to us, right? This is just my experience of it. I was somebody who invariably, without exception, always used to make dogs go crazy. So we have a friend who's a political candidate down here, right? The campaign manager has two of these little yappy dogs, and they would not stop. I couldn't be in her house for more than 20 minutes because it would drive everybody crazy. Even growing up, we had Alsatians, we had black Labradors. They just didn't like me at all. The dogs don't bark at me anymore, and it happened almost overnight. Now they seem to quite like me, and it sounds like it's the stupidest thing in the world. Oh, it sounds that way because it is. I mean, this is why, to me, religion is so silly. If God wanted to give you a sign, why would he have to do that through dogs? Why would he have to be that subtle? Why wouldn't he just open up the clouds and say, Yo, Milo, I'm glad you're not sucking dick anymore, man. Good job. Why doesn't he just do that? Why does he have to communicate with you through these weird measures? This is the most omnipotent being in the universe. Why does he have to use dogs to communicate with you? This is stupid. This is delusional. And I would think that Milo Yiannopoulos is mentally unwell if I believe that he believed what he was saying. But I think it's clear he's just pandering to right-wingers. And I have to point out that he looks like Bruno when he was going through his ex-gay phase in the movie Bruno as well. Look like a straight guy. How's that? Everyone is so fooled. Now, listen, this should go without saying by now, but there's no such thing as ex-gay. That's not a thing. And I know that to a lot of my usual viewers, that's common sense, but to a lot of people, they don't necessarily understand homosexuality. They think it's kind of something that's different than heterosexuality. But you can't just change your sexual orientation by sheer force of will, by hoping or wishing and praying enough. That's not the way that it works. So Milo Yiannopoulos can choose to try to repress his same-sex attractions. He could choose to not engage in sexual activity with men. But that doesn't change the fact that he very much is still a homosexual. And if you don't believe me, if you disagree with that premise, then you can test it right now. If you're heterosexual, just stop being straight. Force yourself to be attracted to the same sex and like it. Go fuck someone of the same sex and like it. Enjoy it. You can't do that because you can't just force these feelings on yourself. Like, this is something that is very clearly innate. People are born gay. So the concept of ex-gay in 2021 is so absurd that anyone who says that it's a thing should be laughed out of the room. But when you have right-wing grifters like Milo Yiannopoulos who are desperate, I mean, he'll say anything to be relevant and remain relevant. So look, the dumbest thing about this and the biggest thing that Milo is missing is that he's assuming that dogs didn't like him because he's gay. But dogs don't like you because you're a fucking weirdo. Dogs love gay people. And I have proof of that. You love me? You love me, don't you? Okay, you love me. I love you too. Dogs love gay people. Fuck off, Milo. I did. I did. I did. Recovery mode, my brain, I did. I did. I did. Recovery mode, my brain, I did.