 Victims are people who when you share your pain and suffering and difficulty with them They're just offended and upset Because they heard about it first second hand through someone else and feel you should have told them first They say things like well, you know, I felt you would have told me that personally You know, I thought we were closer than that if it had been me You would have been amongst the first people I would have told if it had been me. You would not have heard it through a third party. I Can't believe I had to hear it from so-and-so and the mention of person these victims So it becomes all about them being upset and offended that you didn't sort of entrust them with Telling them about it first so it becomes like all of this it becomes about them