 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan assay of Jonathan assay calm And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today Our topic if he's not contacting you do these five things to get him to chase you There's five things you must do to get him to chase you Already really quickly if the content here resonates with you and you've been interested in working with the dating coach to help you in Your love life then check out the link to his free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you Okay, he's not contacting you. What are the five things you can do to get him to chase you? All right, let's first off differentiate. What's what stage we're in in the dating and relationship process, okay? So it's early in the dating process. He's not contacting you now Let's be clear about something is the contact between the two of you a Two-lane street in other words. Are you making effort? Are you investing and is he investing? Okay, are you investing is he investing if you're investing more than he's investing then it could be most likely a Misalignment, okay, two people should equally invest. I like how I like my what my friend Matthew Hussey says he calls Invest and test invest and test and what that means is you make a little bit investment in the relationship Is he meeting you with investment? Does he make investment in the relationship? Do you make investment? okay, so Whether in the early stages, this is really tricky because for the most part we're strangers to one another We're barely know one another so it's always going to be chaotic in the beginning But that investment should be like a two-lane street, okay? Now, let's progress the relationship forward Okay, now the relationships entrenched you've spent at least a minimum of a hundred hours of face-to-face time To really get to know one another you've probably have had sex at this point and you and he pulls away a little bit He doesn't contact you okay now the what you've been told is you have to lean back to give him Space to come to you right? No, that's not what you do you contact him You reach out to him and you say what the fuck is going on now? Let me be clear You don't say it that way. You're just checking in with him Okay, you're checking in with him because by checking in with him You're checking to see if he wants to progress this relationship forward, okay? Because ladies the five ways to get a guy to chase you starts with you How are you showing up a relationship? Are you leading by example of emotional maturity of? Emotional maturity because the five signs of emotional maturity is as follows your actions match your words when you show up consistent with your actions matching your words and A man is not meeting you at that space then kick him to the fucking curb Okay, number one number two He take you take personal responsibility for your choices. You're not constantly in victim consciousness You're in victor consciousness in other words if you're complaining about your past if you're complaining about the relationship If you're complaining about him if you're complaining about work if you're not in in victor consciousness You're in victim consciousness, and I'm talking about consciousness not legitimate being a victim of something okay? These are the types of things that get meant to chase you and now I'm not a big proponent of the word chase I am a big proponent of the word invest in you invest in that two-lane street that I talked about and Number three, you know how to fight fair in other words. It's not about being right It's about listening to your partner's needs wants and desires Accepting their point of view and they must be doing the same Everything I'm sharing is again you're investing like this is he meeting you in this investment because it's not a chase It's an investment of alignment and the fourth piece and this is so critically important And I talk about this in my book. What the heck is self-love anyway? What the heck is self-love anyway? I took chapter one is speak your truth do it in kindness Empathy Empathy do you care about his feelings? But most importantly do you care about your own feelings to express your feelings chapter one in my book speak your truth do it with kindness These are how you when you lead by example, this is how you get a guy to chase you and by the way Dysfunctional men are gonna run away, but that's okay because you don't want dysfunctional men You want that high-value guy who's gonna show up emotionally mature as well? Because not and I'm gonna share the fifth piece in a second because the not Contacting look could be a couple things. Hey, we all need our own individual time to recharge our batteries. Okay? There's this almost ladies a lot of you put a lot of pressure on men to Incessantly contact you incessantly reach out so you know he cares about you You've almost adopted a philosophy as I need you to love me for me to feel good about myself When you're in your sovereignty when you're in your power when you're in yourself love You don't need someone to love you for you to feel good about yourself and That's my invitation for you. That's why I want you to do this work I want you to read the books I recommend definitely read the book the untethered soul by Michael Singer Reference this in the previous video read the book the Hoffman process So you can understand childhood wounds and traumas Because the fifth way you're gonna get a guy to chase you and what I really mean is invest in you is to be transparent to Actually lean into your feelings and start expressing your feelings now I'm not here to say you vomit all of your feelings But you express the most important feelings that you're having in this relationship going back to because in my book There's another chapter and by the way if you need links to my books that I recommend check out the Jonathan recommend books link below if There's a chapter called speak your not speak your true do it with kindness if it's sincere and from the heart You can never say the wrong thing to the right person. You can never say the wrong thing to the right person When you're leaning into the relationship with a high value guy, he might not contact you for a day It didn't mean he disappeared didn't mean he didn't ghost He just need to recharge your batteries if you're in relationship with guys that are constantly pulling away and leaning back Or they're dysfunctional then that may not be the right relationship for you Or maybe if you're choosing men like that You need to look inward as I recommend in my book what the heck is self-love anyway Because here's the thing when you're in your sovereignty when you're in your self-worth when you're in your empowered self-esteem And you come at it from a compassionate heart-centered place You're always going to attract a great relationship in your life All right. I hope you found value in this video I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug of self-love I'm going to reach into the gamma and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or even a pet or even a teddy bear and give it a hug of love right now Because we could all use a lot of love right now and hugs are a great source of love. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye now