 Hello, my name is Matthew Coast and I have Helena Hart here with me on the line Say hello, Helena Hey everybody Yeah, we've never we've never done a live stream before so this is our first live stream hopefully it goes well We kind of don't have any idea really what is going on at the moment, so Like spontaneously to do this so yeah Is it spontaneous? spontaneous yeah, I think it's going I think this is live right now Let's hold on. Let me check to make sure this is live real quick. Am I am I running something live? Am I running something live? I don't even know how to check Okay, I Yeah, it says live in the corner does it corner here. Yeah Well, I would think on like the channel I would see something on there, but I don't see anything on the channel right now So anyway, we're just gonna assume that this is live right now being broadcast on YouTube and so If I If this is your first time to our channel make sure that you hit you hit the subscribe button down there Which is the right bottom right hand side? There should be a subscribe button. You can get more videos on how to attract The most amazing man and the most amazing relationship that you've ever had in your life So do that do that and we we shall see So Helena and I are here just chatting away about different things I wanted to answer actually a few questions that came up recently From some of the women in our community the first one that I just want to talk about real quick is So a lot the so the question I got is that this woman says You know men that she goes on dates with don't seem to be honest in What they are looking for and so this is a pretty common problem. It's a pain point. I get it and So there's there's kind of two categories that I would say that men can kind of fall into here when They tell you about what it is that they're looking for and I would say that the first category is This category of guy who is lying Right and he's just telling you what he thinks you want to hear because if he revealed his true intentions He's afraid that you wouldn't like him for that Right or that you would be turned off by it. You wouldn't agree to it Which a lot of guys don't understand that right now a lot of women are out there doing Crazy things in relationships just like guys are it's it's it's interesting. It's interesting to look at both sides It's one of the most fascinating things for me that I've ever experienced is I if you don't know much about me I came from the men's dating space originally and You know one of the big complaints that a lot of guys over there have Right now if you can believe it or not is that women aren't serious is that women don't want Like long-term relationships. They don't want committed relationships that they just want to go around and you know Have sex with as many guys as they possibly can and and it's you know, it's fascinating because it's the same complaint that we have on the women's side and I'm sure that a lot of some some women listening to me right now when I say this are thinking Oh, he's full of it, you know Guys don't really think this way, but it's true There are a lot of guys right now that are really frustrated that they can't find women that want to have serious relationships with them and so So kind of getting off on a tangent here The so the first one is the guy that lies, right? And so so there are guys out there, but I think I Don't think there's as many of them as most women think right and this is kind of the category that women think You know most guys are is that they're lying, right? And I think the real other one and this is gonna kind of be painful for a lot of women to hear but I'm gonna say it anyway because I'm good at saying things that You know need to be said and it's that a lot of guys most I'd say probably in the neighborhood of 80 to 90 or yeah probably 80 to 90 percent of guys out there are looking for something long-term something real and If a guy tells you that I think what a lot of women Kind of mistake this as is that he's saying that about you Right if a guy is looking for something long-term and he says that he's looking for something long-term That might be his intention, but that might not be his intention with you And so you have to kind of realize that guys have kind of this Categorical system right for where women fit into a spectrum, right? And there's like the the initial kind of Place where a guy looks at a woman. He's like She's just casual. You know in casual relationship material I wouldn't want anything more with her, you know, and these are usually women that guys think of as like really kind of slutty You know a lot of women that You know look really great, but they don't have any personality Our character to him right and so I I know a lot of women kind of get few confused because there's a lot of There's a lot of attention that's put on to these women who are really that that doll themselves up, right and What they don't realize is that that's just attention, right and yeah a lot of guys give attention to that but That doesn't necessarily mean that they want anything else with them And then what they end up doing is they doll themselves up and try to look all sexy and stuff And then guys are just like they just want something casual with them And it's like this weird like I don't know back and forth like confusion thing that ends up happening and And I just keep running off on tangents here So there's another There's another level right and that level is like Relationship right like relationship material type of thing And then there's a level below that which is like marriage material like somebody that I'd like to have kids with somebody that you know really I could be with for a long time and So when a guy meets you right and you guys go on a first date and he's like hey I'm looking for something real, you know, or you ask him or he says that or whatever That doesn't necessarily that mean that he's looking for something real with you And it doesn't mean it doesn't mean anything about you necessarily and so I think there's a lot of confusion there about that You know if a guy meets you There's this concept. I can't remember what the name of the woman. She's she's kind of Well known in our industry, but she has this phrase that goes It's a good date versus a good mate something like that and You know, I think that with a lot of guys what they'll do is they'll go on a date with you Right and even if you're having fun and it's a great time and all that stuff That doesn't mean that he looks at you as long-term potential, you know, like guys have Kind of these different like Sections in their brain, right and they're totally closed off to each other And so if a guy goes out and has a date with you and has a fun time and you guys are really excited But you know and just have a great time with each other that doesn't Even remotely mean that he might think of you as long-term relationship material Because long-term relationship material means certain things, right? Would this woman be a good woman to have kids with would this woman, you know be fun Or or good to have in a relationship, right if if you guys are And it's kind of different so I'm not gonna get any further into that I'm just gonna leave it at that because I'm kind of hogging the space over here I mean, it's like Listening to what Matt's saying right now What would you say so I hear like women are so frustrated because they go I I'm everything that this guy says he wants Into a relationship like do you I hear that all the time? They're it's confusing to them like they hit all the things on the checklist that they think a guy is looking for But it's not he's not committing to them or he's not moving things forward. So What's going on right because I think women could be everything a guy says he wants But there's some other thing happening that he needs to feel in order for him to want to go there with her, right? Well, it's yeah I mean, there's a whole bunch of different kind of scenarios inside of what you just said that could possibly be happening You know, um, it's kind of there's so there's I was on Facebook there we have this like little group that I'm in on Facebook with a bunch of other people and It's about relationships and one of the guys was asking about whether or not it would be valuable to do like surveys with women asking them what they're interested in with men Right to figure out better how to be attractive to women, right? Not I A lot of women are gonna hate me for what I'm about to say But I'm gonna say it anyway You're gonna notice a pattern with this And I was talking about stuff is that I say lots of things that people don't want to hear but are the truth and you know What what the truth is there is that? So for instance, it's like Do you know any woman have you ever met a woman before in your entire life who would ever say I want To date a loser You know, I mean it's possible that they're out there. I don't know, you know But my guess is that you you probably haven't ever talked to a woman That's like hey, I really want to date a loser like that's my thing is total losers, you know Just giant scumbags. That's that's my that's what's really attractive to me Or or, you know, abusive men. Do you know any woman that's like, yeah, I like to get abused by men, you know Yeah, like it just it doesn't happen, right and yet. I mean, it's it's not even just like a a Small thing, you know, it's not like there's a few women in abusive relationships. There's a lot You know, like almost everybody knows somebody that's been in or is in an abusive relationship You know, there's just massive amounts of especially women that are in abusive relationships, you know And there's plenty of men in you know, relationships where they're abused as well And so the thing is is that people don't really know what they want, you know, we can Sit around and pretend like we know what we want, you know But what we say that we want and who we end up with is usually completely different And so when A guy says, hey, this is the list of things that I want You know, there there there is a logical component to who he's attracted to right or who he wants to be with but there's also a An emotional component and not only an emotional component for For him being attracted to you but an emotional component for him even being able to be in a relationship Right. Um, so a guy might be like, you know, yeah, I really want You know to be in a relationship with a woman that's like this or like that or like whatever but if he mentally isn't in a space where he feels like he's worthy to be in a relationship or If you know, maybe he's not financially stable or something, you know, to be in a relationship or you know I mean just a million. There's so many different things that could be going on in his head Which is one of the biggest difficulties, you know and You know, so that's a huge topic really we could we could talk about that for a long time But anyway, is there anything else you wanted to say about that Helena Um, yeah, there's so much I have to say about that I think well actually you said a lot of it a lot of times we don't know what we want until we find it So you could have this whole checklist and They're experienced the guy who kind of fits everything on their checklist, but they're not really feeling it for him They don't feel that attraction. So I I'm assuming it's the same with men as well Yeah Yeah And you have to remember that there's different levels of attraction, you know, which is why we talk so much about emotional Attraction because a guy might look at you and he might be physically attracted to you and you might fit all the criteria That he's looking for in a partner, but if he's not like If that emotional attraction isn't there if he's not falling in love if he's not, you know all googly-eyed You know what one of the things that I think is really interesting about our culture is that we we're actually kind of pioneers right now in in Western culture and Because we've left this world that we used to all be in right it used to be that Marriages were arranged, you know, it used to be that People married for things like status people married Because it was smart to marry somebody people married because of Eugenics, you know people married for a lot of different reasons But it was always At least from what I've read it was kind of looked down upon to marry for love, right? And so marrying for love and getting into relationships for love, you know specifically just for love was like You know was kind of I don't know It's kind of this new area that we're kind of jumping into here and we don't understand it that much You know, we we understand some aspects to it But we kind of get carried away because we we have these feelings that we experience and and in our society right now, that's like That's like the most important thing for everybody, you know, is how do you feel? Right, which I you know I don't know that there's anything necessarily wrong with that But from a standpoint of a try, you know getting into a good relationship It might not be the best way to go is just looking at how do I feel? And then getting into a relationship. I think that You know the smart way to do it is to yeah look at how you feel, but also how do you think and I think that a Lot of guys right now are kind of focused, you know, I don't know I would definitely say that a lot of guys are focusing on the feeling aspect of it and if the feeling isn't just right a lot of people just aren't doing it and And You know, honestly, I think it's a mistake. I think it's a big mistake Because because a lot of people You know, one of the most common things that we get here for questions and Situations from women is that they'll be in some kind of like casual relationship with a guy, right? like they've been hooking up with some dude and and They catch feelings right they catch feelings and all of a sudden they're like in love with this dude and You know, they got into it into in this casual way and the guy has kind of already created this Mental thing in his head where he's like Sectioned it off right where he's like I don't feel that and I'm not going to feel that and she's not in that category You know, and so it's kind of this big hard bridge to get over Well, if a guy comes into it with a different mindset, which is why it can actually even work, you know, like I Know a lot of people complain You know, it's a really difficult situation if you got into it and the guy's not open to something more But if a guy does come into it with you know open to something more he can catch feelings. He can Want something more he can decide that you are somebody that he wants a relationship with and I think that We kind of put so much emphasis on this love at first sight, you know Do am I instantly feeling butterflies do right now? Is this the guy that I want, you know And am I completely you I mean infatuated in love with him? Do I you know feel like a little girl in the spring day frolicking around the field? You know, I mean like And and I think that You know our emotions are something that is a lot more complex than we realize and I think that we should allow our emotions To come and go in different ways and not make that the focal point of whether we're in a relationship with somebody Yeah, especially because you know, you know if you have a pattern of like attracting a certain kind of person like those feelings of instant chemistry can be all hooked up with Man or women who like fit right into your old relationship pattern So that it could even be a red flag sometimes that instant spark of attraction with someone if you have a pattern of Attracting people where it doesn't work out Yeah, absolutely. That's a really really great point that you made there Helena Um So, uh, you know what? For right now, I'm gonna cut this live stream And we will we will come back Maybe in a little bit. So thanks for watching Yeah, someone's texting me that they can't find us on YouTube right now. So I have a feeling it's not being I don't know There's something going on. Yeah. Yeah, we'll get back on to this in a minute. Hold on