 Welcome to Inspired Edinburgh, the home of powerful conversations. I'm Elliot Reeves and my guest today is James English. James is a podcaster, documentary maker, comedian, model and former star of Glasgow-based reality TV show Glow. Your Anything Goes podcast features the hard-hitting real-life stories of sportspeople, comedians, actors, criminals, porn stars and politicians as you explore topics from murder, depression and suicide to sex, love and comedy. In a short space of time your show has been viewed and listened to across social media more than half a million times. Your latest documentary sees you sleep on the streets in your hometown of Glasgow for seven days and nights bringing to light the desperation and tragedy of being homeless at Christmas and shows the plight and passion of people from both sides of the problem. James, it's an absolute pleasure to have you here. Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me on brother. It's an absolute pleasure. It must feel quite unique for you to be on that side of things rather than in the driver's seat, right? It feels weird, but it feels good also. I can just kick back and relax and I've not got the pressure as I'm asking the questions. Exactly, exactly. Well, I mean obviously doing this yourself, you'll know the script. If we can start, I mean really kind of going back to your your early life, you know, growing up and I suppose what that kind of overall experience was like for you? Yeah, I grew up in a place called Porcelain Glasgow, which is, he says that it's one of the deprived areas in the United Kingdom. It's a rough, rough place, so you need to grow up faster. You're surrounded by drink, drugs, violence, but I always had good parents, so I always kept going straight and there were good people, let's say they weren't alcoholics are addicted to drink, like drugs. But for me, the five people you surround yourself with, the five people you become, so I was surrounded with drink, drugs, and violence, so it became normal for me. It became a normal life. I grew up in a place called Stonyhurst Street, which is, listen, there's great people there. They're fucking nuts, but they're good people. They didn't know, they're none the wiser to outskirts like what's happening outside of that world, so everyday survival mode, you don't get much food. It's scrimping, it's creating balls all the time, but we did what we could and I was lucky enough to be a good football player at the ages of nine and ten. Get picked up with hibs. We kind of moved from a place called Stonyhurst Street, but a hundred yards away is a place called Clearn Street, which is a way, because the place we stayed there was like tenement buildings, there was like six in a block, six houses, but it was full circle of my madness and mayhem. You're talking about stolen cars, people sleeping on their clothes, it was wild, it was crazy, but we moved to a place called Clearn Street, and I was lucky enough to get into my football career then, so that was good. I had a bit of a gift at the football, but signed for hibs and then I thought it was a jack-of-the-art, thought I knew everything, no fuck all. Signing for hibs come through to Edinburgh, tell all the girls I played for the first team. I was only playing under 16s, under 18s, but I liked the night lifestyle. Then I started drinking and then for ages of 16, 17, I started getting into the drugs, gambling, womanising, and then the life kind of spiraled out of control from there. Do you think that way of life is typical for people that, you know, like footballers who are making wages and they're looking for things to spend it on? Is that a cultural thing? Yeah, well I always go to the bookies with some of the players at 16, but I'd been gambling, thinking about it, I'd been gambling for about five years old. Used to play fruit machines with my gran. They didn't realise the extent. My dad used to take us to a place called Shawfield, which was the dog track. Used to put 50p bets on for me, not realising the effect it would have when you get older, because then it becomes an addiction. So for me, all those addictions that I had, I was craving that dopamine. So when you put a bet on, it releases dopamine in your brain, which is equivalent to heroin. So if your life doesn't feel that good, if you place a bet in your high, you're buzzing. Once that bet goes, your life feels shit, you don't feel important anymore, so you're constantly craving that bet, or if it was a drink or the cocaine, you're craving that dopamine, because it puts you in a high and your life feels good. But looking back, it was all the insecurities, it was all the misery I was going through, that stuff was a escapism. So yeah, the gambling became a major issue. That was one of my major problems, was the gambling at that age, from, like I say, the football, because it's socially acceptable, you think it's okay. But looking back, it wasn't. So you're right, I mean, just to pick up on, I wrote down a quote, Postal Park, named in a study as the most deprived area in the United Kingdom since 1971. I had no idea at the extent of that. I mean, to try and paint a picture for people that are maybe watching or listening, I mean, what is it like? Yeah, it was a stolen car, houses getting set in fire, a lot of gang fights, yeah, yeah. Just survival mode, it was wild, it was crazy. But when you grew up in that life, it seemed normal, it seemed fine. Thinking back now, so many people, so many deaths I've seen, so many people getting murdered, suicide, drug overdose, and like I say, all these addictions are problems that can come down from generation to generation. You can bring your DNA, not necessarily do these things, you're a bad person. If you're taking drink or drugs, if you're gambling or if you've got anger issues, that's a defense mechanism. Even the anger of my friends who, but if I'm honest, they're crazy, but they're good people. What happens is because they're protecting their heart, people are fragile. So if I become loud, if I'm scary, and if I create fear on everybody, then they can't hurt me. So it's a defense mechanism for people to act aggressive because they are scared of getting hurt to themselves. Do you know what I mean? I've spoken to my friend and he says he was scared of everything but fear of nothing, which makes sense. So it's a defense mechanism for people to back off, keep away from me. I'll become the angry man in the world because I'm scared of getting hurt to myself. But like I say, it's a great place and I've got to thank it. Do you know what I mean? I've got to thank everything I've done because like I say, it's led us to a harm to do. How do you maintain a level of sanity when you're around that level? Are you that many stressors? It's hard until you get out of that circle, until you get out of that small box. We're all living in a small box and all like comfort. So if you're drinking, you surround yourself with drinkers. If you're taking drugs, you surround yourself with taking drugs. If you're gambling, you surround yourself with gamblers because if you do that, life doesn't seem as bad because you think everybody does that. But when you come out and go shit, man, I've got all these problems. It's a lonely journey to change. But like I say, people can change and people can create the life that they want, which is a good thing also. Yeah, yeah. You've clearly been into the sort of personal developments type stuff. We'll come back to that a little bit later on. I'll be interested to hear that your sort of journey into that. I mean, tell me a bit about your kind of career. You know, what were your aspirations when you started out and kind of what, where did it kind of take you? Well, I had the football. The football was good. I played for Hibbs, but then it went for Hibbs. I think it was a party for us, so Queen's Park. And then it went Albin overs and then it went Junior. So it just knows dived because my fitness wasn't there, the dedication, the ability was there. The dedication wasn't there. Like I say, I like to women, I like to drink because it felt good for me. It felt normal realizing I'll always make it. I'll always have that mentality. I'll make it anyway. But the boys who maybe not had the ability, me right behind me because the dedication, the fitness levels, my fitness levels, knows dive while there's just kept rising and rising. So the time I 21, left the football and then for about 10 years, man, my life as a party, my life as a blur. So when did that start? 21 started getting serious at the cocaine, started the charlotte at the weekend, and then the social bowl, the drink, the drugs was Friday saturday. Then it came Thursday, Friday saturday Sunday. And then my dad got down. I got out of jail, actually. I was in prison at 23. I got six months in Berlin for driving offences. Caught three times driving while disqualified. I thought, like I said, it's nothing charged. My lawyer says, look, you'll be fine. I'll see you at lunchtime. I was on the bus out of Berlin at 23, shaked myself, scared. Like I say, playing the big man card and as if I never had a care in the world, but you're terrified because you think, shit man, I'm going to get pumped in here because I was a good looking guy. I was a good looking guy. Do you know what I mean? I had the gift of the Gavin. I'm thinking, I've watched all these films for years, but as soon as I went in there, probably the worst thing that could happen because as soon I was in there, everybody from Porcel was there. So I knew the majority of the people in there. I was a party boy around Glasgow, so I knew the majority of people. So that felt at home. It felt so weird. I just felt like a big boot camp with football every day. We had the gym, but while I was in the gym, while I was in the jail, my target diagnosis was leukemia. So I came out, my head was up mass, my best pal hung himself, and then I had two girls pregnant at the same time. So this was at 23. I didn't know how to deal with those pains and struggles. So for me, it was a drink to drugs was escapism for me because when people seen me at the weekend, I was a life and soul at the party. I used to pick people's spirits up, no realising. I was giving everybody else my energy, that my energy was low. So during the week, it then became valium, it then became weed to balance it out. So I was so high at the weekend, so low. I used to smoke and take valium and used to kind of balance me out again to kind of get through those darker days. I had too much pride to ask for help. I never thought I needed help. I always thought I'm not that bad, but like I said, it was a very dark place for me for 10 years, nine, 10 years. Jesus. And how bad did things get? When did you hit, excuse me, when did you hit the rock bottom? When I turned 30. When I turned 30, it was a turning point for me. That's not how you rise. I've got more to give here. I'm not getting any younger. I've got two kids. And the last thing I wanted to look up was their dad has been a waster. It's not, I mean, somebody that they don't respect. So for me, I changed. I wrote it down, sat at my sister's room and drank drugs. I was never an alcoholic, but the drink for me led to the coke. Yeah. And then it led to the lie and the cheating. And then when you're so low, it was like, God, that many problems gambling as well. So when I turned 30, I wrote it down. I remember and I remember it's clear as day in my sister's room in her house, drink, drugs, gambling, even the womanizing, because everything I was doing, I was searching to fulfill a void in me, to fulfill an emptiness and an emptiness that I've had for so long. And then once you accept that this isn't the thing to do, because every time I was doing that, it was becoming more disconnected. So I wrote it all down in three, four months. I became clean, went cold turkey on everything. Let us say it was never heroin or cracker. It was cocaine, but let us say valium and weed. My central nervous system was fucked. And because of me telling that when I rise for years through the gambling addiction, stealing, lying, doing bad things to create the money to get that fix. I didn't know who I was. I was so lost. So I changed and wrote it all down. After three, four months, I started getting clarity. I had a lot of bad dreams, a lot of nightmares, unconscious, all the stuff I'd done in the past, treating people like shit and lying. But I changed and after the four months, I started getting clarity. I started doing running. I started really getting into the mindset and figuring out who I was again. And it was a lonely, lonely journey. But I've done the changes. I made the sacrifices and I've been blessed to make those changes. I've done a reiki course. I became a reiki master, which is here in energy. And the women said it was a spiritual awakening I had. She says I was blessed because for me, if you knew me then, to now, man, it's black and white. I think people have this idea that a spiritual awakening is just suddenly, they just feel divine and it's amazing, but it can be scary as well. Taking that path because it's very lonely. Yeah, it's a lonely journey. The last three, four years is a lonely journey. People don't understand that. When I was changing at the start, I felt like fucking Jesus. I was preaching to everybody. This is the way to go. This is amazing. Don't drink. Don't do this. People are like, shut up. Yes, crackpot. I felt, I felt amazing. And I just wanted the people to feel the same as well. But what I was doing was preaching, was pushing everybody away. I was pushing everybody away and they were gone. He's becoming a pain in the ass. But I just wanted the people to feel the way I was feeling because I felt amazing. It made me realize all that shit I was doing was wrong. And we don't need to accept it because all my friends accept that life that it's okay to do that at the weekend. But you're hiding from something. You're hiding from something. If it's not natural, you're taking away from whatever it is you're going through. For me, I faced it head on. So now for me, it's to keep my light shining bright. If I keep my light shining bright, then it guides everybody else out of darkness because people now ask me questions. How did you change? Why did you change? And when I have changed, like I say, actions speak louder than words. My results speak from themselves because at the time I felt as if I had to show everybody that I changed. Now I just act. I do. And then people go, he has changed. And then that's when I get the messages. How did you change? And then I can guide them where to go for help instead of the preaching kind of side yet. But I just felt as if I had to tell everybody I've changed. I became a better person. Listen, I ain't a monk or a saint. I still fuck up and I still probably do things I go. I shouldn't do that. But I'm aware. I feel as if I'm two steps ahead of everybody else. I feel as if I'm on this path and I'm untouchable and nobody can tell me otherwise. Where does that confidence come from? Being clean and sober. Yeah. Being clean and sober. Educate myself. Knowledge is power. So I don't read books. I listen to audiobooks. My attention span isn't the greatest. If I read a page, I go the fuck with that. But I can still work on that where I will. I should be getting used to it. But I prefer the audiobook and I get the earphones in and I listen. I seem to pick up more. I pick up more and I go, that makes sense. But not necessarily my journey is right for everybody else. People might look and go, he's a fucking crack. But I'm going to stick through drinking drugs, which is fine. But like I say, I'm talking from experience. I'm not reading from books here. I'm talking from the dark places I've been. So what would you say to somebody who was in, you know, was doing the things that you were doing five, 10 years ago? I just ask them to be honest with yourself. Is this going to enhance your career? Is this going to take you to places where you know you can go to? Just ask yourself, should I be surrounding myself with these people? Like I say, you're not a bad person because you do bad shit. It's just certain circumstances conditioning you into that person to have that life. And it can happen to anybody. I know people who get multimillionaires out there that are suicidal. And yet I know people with nothing or the best people in the world. I put a post up there the week saying, listen, the real will for a person isn't with the money they have in the bank or the material possessions they have. The real will for a person is how much good to bring into the world. And you can do things for free. Do you know what I mean? And we're so caught up in the world through materialism, through social media that we forget what's really important. For me personally, it's the gift in life is given because as soon as you help someone, not only does that person feel good, but it's you automatically feels good. And we forget that. Yeah, yeah. But I think, you know, talking about that, social media has been such a, well, it's a double edged sword, it can be a toxic place, but it's such a great way of sharing information that I feel as though there is kind of a paradigm shift or a kind of awakening to the realization, like you're saying, life's far more than just, you know, accumulating possessions. Yeah, I believe there is a shift coming in that social media. I'm aware that now I'm addicted to it. I'm addicted to it because I crave the attention. And when I get messages, like I said, it releases dopamine, which is equivalent to heroin. So it's like pulling a fruit machine for you. I've got a message here, somebody likes my content. I'm feeling good. And that's okay. But when I'm spending four and five hours looking at a screen, it becomes a problem. And I'm aware of this problem. Because when I wake up in the morning, your first hour is your most creative hour in the morning to balance out your day and focus on what your path is and what you've got to get done. But if you're looking at a fake screen and fake people with fake lives, because that's where it is, your life doesn't feel as good. And you start looking at everybody else's life and then where your focus goes, your energy flows. So now you start, your mind goes wandering instead of actually focusing on your day. So it becomes an inner problem for me. It's a problem just now. I'm utilizing it to my advantage, if I'm honest, as well to promote everything I'm doing. But I'm spending so many lost hours on it, when I could really utilizing that to take my career even further. Yeah. So it's a slippery slope of it. Right. So how do you plan to manage that? Let's say I'm aware. The plan is to get up. For me, my blueprint is to get up early half four. Seriously? Yeah, half four. I've seen Mark Wahlberg there two days ago, half two he is. That's great. That's insane. But if it works for him who to be a judge, do you know what I mean? Yeah. My blueprint is half four, get up at half four, get my meditation, get my breathing techniques. But I'm lazy. I'm lazy. Even though people might think I'm doing all this stuff, I'm still lazy. I know I'm not utilizing miles to my full advantage, because it's scary to think we're all going to die. And it's scary to think that what are we doing to be good in the world and to create massive change and massive awareness? Am I really, am I just waiting to die? Am I creating enough stuff to leave a legacy? Do you know what I mean? I just feel as if I'm no utilising those 16, 17 hours to to be the person I know I can become. What are your feelings on death? We're all going to die. I used to be scared of it. Now, fuck it. Yeah. I'm ready to go. But if I do, I do. You've got to remember, you don't know what it's like before you're born. So it's just going to be the exact same when you do go. As soon as you're born, you start to die, which is the scariest thing. And that should be the only motivation you need in life is to realise you're going to die. So what are you doing? To be the person you want to become? Do you know what I mean? And I think we're caught up in a fake world, man, where people are stuck in 95s. People are stuck paying the bills. And before you know it, they've created the fear where they're scared to take chances. They're scared to take risks. They can't leave their job because they've got these bills to pay. I can't work in this, but people prefer Monday, Friday, 95. X-Factor on a Saturday night, bottle of wine and a curry. Listen, if you're happy, listen, I'm not here to judge, but the majority I speak to ain't happy because deep inside your gut, you know, you've got more to give life. You know, you've got more to be that person you become. We've all got a path. And whether that's path is whatever the fuck it is that you do, but does it fulfill you? Does it make you feel good? Does it make you feel when you put your foot on the floor in the morning? Okay, I'm ready to take on a day, but majority of people aren't happy. Do you know what I mean? And you can't be happy 24 seven, but you can create the life that you want. You can be the director of that film. You can just be you and make do what's right for you. But people stuck relationships I don't like, jobs I don't like, fucking change it. It's as simple as that. It's as simple as that. Change it because only person can fare as you. And that's, that's what I believe. But it's easy for me to see that because I'm on a good path. But I just know that I changed. I made the changes in the sacrifice and it can be done. Yeah, I'm loving this chat. Yes, great stuff. How did glow come about? Like how did what what happened for that to come together? Well, I got a phone call to say it was happening. I became, I got a personal training job, which was one of my first ever proper jobs at the age of 30, 31. That's when I was doing all my reading, my researching. And I was off to drink the drugs for 17 months. I went early. I come back from my anti-suna. I was 17 months off it. I decided to have a drink after 17 months. And then I just ripped the whole ceiling down and I ended up back partying, gambling after the 17 months because I thought I was strong enough to handle it, have a drink. But it turns out I wasn't. So I plan was to go and do motivational speaking. And it turned out I didn't do that. I gave everything up again and kind of went down that slippery slope for a year. But for me, that year was the speed bump that I needed. It didn't last 10, 15 years. It lasted a year because I realised how good I felt. I realised I felt amazing when I was clean. So I got back in track. I got a phone. While I was while I was drinking again, the phone call came about the rally show. Listen, I rolled the dice with it. I gave it a go. It was a bit cringy. If I wasn't on the show, would I have been probably slagging it myself? Probably. But you've got to take your hat off to anyone that takes chances. And it was a good platform for me. I was a fan's favourite, just saying. So it gave me a platform and it bought that a fan base for me. Glasgow's a tough city. Very tough. So many critics. But I believe that so many people are unhappy with ourselves. It was easy to point to fingers. It's a reflection. People are just deflecting on their missed opportunities, the things that they want to do, but they ain't got the balls. So for anybody to do anything new or do something, it takes courage and guts. Like I say, I gave it two seasons and it worked wonders for me. It built up my platform. It got people to know me. So I was well liked on it. It should have probably done better than where it was. But I believe there's a massive market in Glasgow or Edinburgh for a rally show. If all these other places can do it, then why can't we? But it kind of left the second season. And that was it, basically. But listen, I made a cut of Great Friends from it and I would never change it. It was a great experience. It learned me in front of the cameras. It learned me with my confidence. But I was still going through that dark phase because that's the year I was drinking. So I was in that part of lifestyle. It was all frequency and I thought that was all cool. That was me craving attention. That was me self-seeking. And I did that attention. I still need it. I'm still a poser and I'm still love that attention. Do you know what I mean? But it was a great experience and I wouldn't change it. Man, I met some great people. But I look back and you kind of fucking cringe as well. Do you know what I mean? But it warmed those for me. Yeah, absolutely. Well, if you didn't do that, you possibly wouldn't be doing what you're doing. Exactly, exactly. I think you're right. I think there probably is scope for a good reality show, but it would be nice to see one that's not predicated on kind of bullshit values, going out, getting paid to have a fight, womenizing, you know, etc. The typical stuff that you see. Yeah, but that's what people want to see, because that's what the majority of people do. So if they see other people doing it, then it doesn't seem as bad. Can you imagine, certainly, I'm trying to splurge out positivity and motivation. You don't see that on the TV. You see it in the mainstream media, it's deaths, it's murders, it's rapes, it's suicide, it's wars, because if they can draw that fear into your mindset, you think the world's a bad place. The world's actually a good place. If you want to go and look for it, and if you think it's a bad place, then become the change that you want to become. Do you know what I mean? If you want to see good in the world, be good yourself, and it'll have that ripple effect. Do you know what I mean? You can pay it forward, do good, and it will, like attracts like. So if I'm doing good, then everything I do is for me. Do you know what I mean? I've said that before on the phone. Everything I do is for me. But I'm doing good to help others as well. So it's a win-win for me. It's a win-win. I can't lose. It's true. Do you see yourself going into motivational speaking? I will do in the future. I've still got a lot to learn. I've still got a lot to learn. This is part of my journey. I've got different plans and different ambitions on how to do, but definitely I was going to do that in LA. I was going to start going to universities and stuff. Probably need to polish up my accent. I've still got a wee bit nervous, speak a wee bit fast. Swear a lot. That's lack of a cablery, I think. Yeah, I was never a good listener at school. I was always a daydreamer. Looking out the window, just daydreaming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's the thing at school. You use the left side part of your brain, which is the crunching numbers, your memorization, your right side, your creativity and your individuality, which I think we forgot about that now because nobody wants to be an individual. We're scared to be ourselves, dress ourselves, talk ourselves because we think what do they think, what does she think, but fuck what anybody thinks, man. Nobody's going to agree. What you do for me is if I was to tell people my visions and ideas, they've already spoke me out my ideas of visions because they're reflecting their fears onto me because they don't understand the journey. So it's about doing what's right for you and creating what you want. Everything in my life we've attracted, whether it's me sitting here, you sitting here, we've brought it up. Everything that's created in this universe has started off with a thought, whether it's cameras, airplanes, cars, this couch. Do you know what I mean? It's somebody's thought about it, and somebody says 100 years ago, whatever an airplane came out that I'm going to make an airplane. People would have laughed and thought they were crazy, but they've done it. Do you know what I mean? They've done it these steps to get their end goal, their end product. I think Edison was 3,000 times or 10,000 times to make the light bulb. Do you know what I mean? Can you imagine I stopped after two, three times what the average person does? You're set off a failure, do you know what I mean? You don't need to see the full staircase, but if you can take the first step to hit your goal, you're in the right direction. 99% of success is failure in my eyes. It's fail, fail, fail, fail, fail until you succeed. It's interesting, Edison actually, because Edison I think said he didn't fail whatever it was 3,000 times, it was just a 3,000 step process. Such a great way of looking at it. As it says 3,000 times, but now we're saying it's 10,000. It's not what I mean, so it's tired and error. You can never fail. The only person who can fail is you, because what happens is we concentrate on the finishing line too much, and then when we get there, we've created another one. We're not just enjoying the journey, which the power of now will come into play, which is try to stay in the present moment. For people, we stay in the past too much, which is fear, guilt, depression, anger, anxiety, because there's a guy called Joe Dispenser, who's about the brain, the mindset. 95% of your day is controlled by your subconscious, so we'll go up during this, we'll go up, brush our teeth the same, probably have breakfast, drive to work, same routine, brush our teeth, but it's that 5% you can create the change. It takes 21 days to break a habit, 21 days to create a new one, so for you to do something new every day, neurons in the brain which fire together, wire together, so if you do something new for 21 days, then the subconscious mind starts repeating that, so if you're a negative bastard and you keep thinking about shit, or eating shit, I want to go on a diet, I want to change this, you'll do it for three, four days, but any subconscious will just click into play again, you'll go over it and over it and over it. That's why in the morning, if you could have your goals set out, plan your day the night before, and then if you can create that for 21 days, then that'll be on repeat. Whether it's go to the gym, people say I've got the gym for two, three weeks and I feel amazing, because the subconscious mind starts just repeating that, it just becomes natural, it becomes natural, so for me, I know I'm lazy, so I need to break that mold half-four and then it just becomes more natural and then I'll get more done, so because what happens is if we think about the past, the traumas, whatever trauma we've had in my life, we've all had, the brain releases that chemical, so far as they think about the traumas I had in my life, the brain releases the chemical, to the emotion I felt that day, so the brain doesn't know if it's happening in the present moment or back in the past, so that's where the poison will kick in and then we feel like shit, but you can break the mold, you can change your mindset, it's a very, very difficult thing to do, but people do it and it can happen. I don't want this to come off as in any way disparaging towards other people, but how many people do you think that the things that you talk about, it kind of resonates with them, or they're like, oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, and it's just like I say it's about education, it's just about becoming aware and just digging a wee bit deep and trying to understand things a wee bit more, I just wanted to know where addictions came from, I wanted to know why I was like that, I wanted to know why I was the person I was, because everybody's getting goodness in them, when you're born, everybody's getting goodness and greatness on them, I think it's Einstein that says that everybody's a genius, everybody's different. But if you judge a fish by the ability to climb a tree, then everyone will grow up thinking that's stupid, yeah. Exactly, so everybody's different, everybody has got something in them, but film the school in it four or five years of age, talk to sit at a desk and how can you become that individual or creative, you might know what is it at a desk, do you know what I mean? People might have the visions or ideas and then for you know what, you've been conditioned to just live the life that you don't want to live, so it's about educating yourself and rewinding your brain and figuring out who you are again, which is so difficult, because to unravel all those layers, you become like an onion, so for me I was wrapped around so many layers, the false, the mask, the loudness, the daftness, I forgot who I was, I don't know who I was, so unraveling it all now, I'm starting to go right, wait a minute, I am sensitive, I know I've got this problem, I know I've got this issue, it's no easy to admit you've got problems, but people can change and for anybody watching or listening, you can change, you can benefit your life, I don't give a fuck how far, how messed up you think your life is or what age are you, if you get air in your lungs, you've got something to give life and you can change and that's a fact, that's 100% truth, if you want to change, you can change, you can create it and I'm loving proofing it. Awesome. What was the inspiration for starting your podcast then? I watched your Ogan, I like a lot of Russell Bran stuff, a lot of Russell Bran stuff is about, his words I don't struggle with, he says a lot of big words, but it's good cause I've got good room to go right, wait a minute, make sense, I don't know, I just like people who are versatile and can talk about different things, I can get bold easy, so I like to dip my toe in, I like the way these guys speaking, I believe I've come through a lot in my life with people now, understand that a wee bit more, cause the people who do know me in Glasgow know how much a wee bit of Rogue I was and to see they change it gives people a lot of inspiration, so for me I wanted to create Anything Goes podcast show where people can come in, different guests, different people from all walks of life and I think yeah people can relate to it, like I say it's straight out in your face here, there's no fucking about, it's straight to the point, I like to call a spade a spade, there's no there's no script either, let's come in, let's chat and let's see your problems, let's talk about your life, let's talk about your goals and let's say it's all over the place but I like that wee, you know what I mean I do, I like that bit of chaos, yeah I like chaos, I'm used to it if I'm on it, that's where I'm comfortable is the madness and the chaos, I do feel comfortable, that's where I feel alive, I feel alive knowing what the fuck's going to happen, I get it says, I feel it keeps me on my toes but like I say we've had porn stars in, we've had footballers, we've had comedians, politicians, people who've been in prison, it's good man and people can relate to something, it's not whether you're a criminal or lover of porn, you can get something from it, do you know what I mean, whereas a lot of people talk about suicides and the majority of the guests that come in, what I'm good at is making people present their best self to me, people can relax, people forget the cameras are there, so people can then they become open, if I talk about my problems go wait a minute, he's got fucking problems, I'll get problems, so you start competing against each other to tell each other who's got the most problems, the thing about life man we've all got problems, don't ever look at anybody and think he looks if he's got a great life because nobody knows what's, everything's internal, the external stuff doesn't mean fuck all, the big car or the house or the jewellery, trust me it doesn't mean anything so for anybody watching don't look at somebody and think I wish I had their life because you don't know what's going on inside because it sounds so cheesy but everything's within, love is within and that's a place I'm trying to get to is to love yourself because sometimes I dyed my hair last week seriously, I dyed my hair last week and I was thinking why did I do that but that's still a wee bit of ego for me, I'm trying to, because I'm looking at myself and thinking oh I could do this and but then I'm like why am I doing that, I questioned that after that but let's say I done it and what was your original motivation for doing it then? I don't know, I don't know, a wee bit of ego for me still, so I'm still trying to think I'm 24, 25, hang on to my youth, the grey hairs are coming in pretty fast and I was just trying to hang on to my youth, it's not a bad thing but for me to promote love is within and all that shit then I just feel a bit dirty, yeah but listen I'm human it's true, it's true, your podcast does get a lot of engagement why do you think that is? It's honest, there's no fucking about, the Glasgow crowd are a tough crowd, do you know what I mean and they'll see through the bullshit, they see right through it, so for me it's as honest as I can be that I'm not saying, I still tell lies, but I'm honest with myself, I can be, because if I can't be honest myself I can't be honest with anybody else, so the good thing is that people respect the honesty because the majority of people, we are struggling, we're in pain, we don't know what happened, it says it anymore, so when you can show them a wee bit of light then people can engage on to that right, wait a minute, I like that, listen to the mindset, listen to these breathing techniques, listen to the guests that have changed, do you know what I mean, they walk at different paths and people can relate to it, I believe, well they're starting to relate to it more now because the bigger your profile becomes the more people who take notes and then they start listening because then they can see they change, they can see alright fuck man he has changed, which is a good thing and it makes me feel proud because the amount of people who are maybe on drink or drugs or suicidal, I get every night is unbelievable, but the people who've come on the show are the women I'm running in, she lost her son to suicide, so what happens is, trauma's happening in your life, I lay in her bed for a while, probably suicide to herself, because you start blaming yourself, was it me, was it this, that, so it can go over, it can go overboard and she never, she never let it defeat her, so what Anne did was set her a 24 hour suicide centre, now she saved thousands of lives where people can phone, phone up and speak, not just for people who are suicidal but for people who've lost someone to suicide, these people places do a thing called havening, which is amazing, reiki, just someone to speak to and she used that to her advantage, her son's death and now like I say, you can either make it destroy you or you can make it kick on in life and do something more important and she's prime example that she never let a trauma affect her, now she's doing massive things, a place called Chrissy Sou's man, people phone up, like I said, some of these doctors close at five o'clock, suicide's always going to be there if you've got those thoughts, they're 24 seven, amazing people, met them loads of times, I've got an event actually this week for it, which I'm looking forward to but yeah it's good because people watch that and they realise that they're not alone, because we're all, our mind goes overboard, we're all, we're all fucked basically, we're all fucked, start to think the balance of what makes you feel good and it's okay not to be okay, do you know what I mean, it's okay to have problems, it's okay to look at something, wish that but you've got to understand how's it making you feel, do you know what I mean, it's okay to ask for help because 75% of suicide are male because for the area I'm from is a tough area, so listen everywhere's a tough area probably, but if you're from those scheme areas, it's, if you're fighting or you're crying, it's toughing up, man up, real men don't cry, so before you know it, your time you hit 30 or 40, you don't know how to handle feelings and emotions, so you just want to end it and it's scary to think being suicidal, I've probably had the thoughts but I've never had the balls to actually follow through with it, but for people to sit there and think nobody cares, it must be scary because the only thing with suicide, you're not really, if you take your life, you're not really taking your problems away, what you're doing is just passing on to some girls, but it's a love one, something and it's scary to think that people are alone, they're not alone, there's plenty of places out there offering help, so when Anne lost her son it was over a thousand people like she knew, she just didn't feel as if it was good enough or it's easy to think you're taking your pain away because you're not worthy but like I say man everybody is and people can change their mindset, so yeah it's good, so these are the people that are coming on the show and they're making a massive difference, so it's good man, I'm loving it, really loving it. That's brilliant, it really is, I mean it's well documented that suicide is obviously the biggest killer of young men in the UK, like it's awful, it really is, I think sometimes people I'll be careful what I say here, I think people kind of underestimate how traumatic the experience of life is, which might sound a bit kind of esoteric to some people but you know you ultimately come into this world, you've got people around you that love you and then you have the realization that it's all just going to you know one day not be here, you're gonna be dead and everyone around you is, that's a pretty serious situation to find yourself in. Yeah but then again that's the mindset, the mindset you can play tricks on is everything's the brain, it's to find that balance for me, it's all natural stuff, I became vegetarian these breathing techniques, the exercise and it feels good for me, it gets the endorphins which is a natural buzz, I'll go to the gym listen, go to the gym but I'm only feeling good for a couple of hours and then I'll drop again and I'll go all right what can I do now because I get bored and then I get overthinking and the anxiety can kick in, so it's about keeping busy all the time and try to do, try to find balance in your life, I'm not saying to everybody to stop drinking but for me drinks a drug, it's a sociable accepted drug in the world because everybody does it, it's okay to do it but it lowers your frequency, it makes you feel people drink wine I believe because it loosens them up and it makes them forget, it takes them away from their pain, it takes them away from their 95, it takes them away from their misery but then that's a hundred times worse the next day and if you add up all the times, the months, the years that you drink, it's so much out your life, so much whether it's the Saturday, the Sunday, then the Monday, Tuesday, your knackered, it becomes a massive percentage of your life gets took away because you think standing in a nightclub or standing in a pub, sitting drinking is the way forward, it's not because you're not how's that enhancing your life, how's that taking to where you need to be and I'm not speaking for everybody here, there's people who can have a sociable drink but for me the people I speak to, it's every two or three nights people are drinking, that one glass of wine turns into two then four you know that one night turns into three or four and then before you know it you depend on it, people come home from work say I need a wee glass of wine to chill out, that ain't the way you should be chilling out, get yourself into yoga, get your breathing techniques, work on your mindset, get your feet up, get the candles on and listen to some music and but don't drink because what happens is it'll dump you down, it'll lower your frequency and then it'll make you feel a bit hazy the next day so it's a slippery slope so be careful for people who are drinking that because it can lead up to other things do you know what I mean? It's good advice for sure, what's the vision for the podcast? The B number one in the UK, yeah I'm going right for a talk mate, if your dreams don't scare you they're no big enough like I say I know as big a name is Russell Brands and stuff like that but I believe in my content, I believe in me and I believe it's out there where it's yeah why not be number one, if your dreams don't scare you they're no big enough, do you know what I mean? Fuck it, yeah yeah like I say I'm enjoying it and for me that's my ego to be number one do you know what I mean? I can sit there and say it's not but that's a goal for me and if I achieve that goal there's always small steps for these goals and if I achieve those goals that's the buzz I'm getting, it's creating these small goals and then when I hit them I feel good but then I need to go again everything's about progression, Tony Robbins will say it you've got to keep raising the bar because as soon as you think you've made it you've already took two steps back so I need to hit this target, I need to go again and keep raising and keep raising and if I keep doing that then everything's limitless yeah do you know what I mean? The only person I can fear is myself so I've just got to keep moving up that ladder the pyramid and just keep taking the steps up to be sitting at the top but even if you're at the top you're never really there because there's always somebody better or whatever but success leaves clues I look at all these other people are doing, we're going to go right, wait a minute what is it they're doing differently? You try and copy a wee bit but you still got to put your own spin to it yeah do you know what I mean? yeah so yeah shoot for the top why not quite right Homeless at Christmas, how did that first come together? Homeless at Christmas was, I was down in London for a business meeting speaking to a homeless man, I've always gave homeless people my time of day and always did my wee bit and wee sign weeks here but for me it's not enough so I've got to speak to a homeless man in London, he's served his country for 18 years, his wife committed suicide, the kids blamed him because he was away working all the time, guy had to drink he was on his street for six years so I don't know I just melted my heart both of us were crying at that time actually and I think it was like 14th of December and I phoned my friend Gordon and I says look man I need to meet you I've got an idea and he says okay and I met him at Costa and I says look I've got an idea I'm going to go homeless for seven days and I'm going to do it through Christmas from 19th of December to 26th and he says yeah man he backed his Gordon Campbell great guy, yeah he backed me and I've never had that much time to think about it, if I probably had more time I'd have probably spoke myself out of it but the plan was to go homeless for seven days no phone no money, nothing basically just to close the head of my back sleeping bag and my rucksack and my camera told my family and friends I was going on a seven-day fitness retreat I wasn't around my phone so I didn't want anybody to worry and I certainly didn't want to pack the bag but what I knew I was doing was massive and I knew it would have been, I've got a lot of respect for it it's like I say everything I do is for me but no matter what way you look I'm still creating massive awareness, it was also helping me become a better person because I can speak all this positive shit but it is only words, I don't fucking mean anything that is words I actually speak louder than words and for me to do the seven days at Christmas the sleeping in the streets was fine, I like roughness it doesn't bother me it was the stories I was hearing, one of the girls got raped twice in a day people were setting them in fire peeing on them stabbing them, it broke my heart I'm not a psychologist but the footage that we got it's only been raced over a weekend we've had over 3,000 messages where people came in for coming forward to help a hand and realise because the documentary doesn't make you look at homeless people differently it makes you question your own life because so many is loving luxury and we love to moan and complain about stupidest things so for me I'm proud of it and I don't know why I did that like I said but it just needed to be done I just think I put weight on the seven days I was homeless I put weight on all the food I was getting offered because I was at the soup kitchens every day Christmas dinners, there's so much generosity like I say there is a lot of goodness in the world but a lot of people are blinded by life and everybody's get their own problems and we can't just save the world do you know what I mean but just showing something that you care two minutes a year time just because there's a lot of listen there's a lot of beggars on the street who are homeless as well do you know what I mean I'm not saying save everybody but there's a lot of people who are con artists there's a lot of professional beggars but for me I was staying with the I was sleeping in the streets with the people who were homeless who have kind of gave up on life and that's low self-esteem that's low confidence that's not just a case of rehoming someone because you can't just rehome someone that's got addiction problems I know people out there have two jobs they can't keep a house so for you to rehome someone and lose the house anyway so it's a come up with a new system I'm trying to come up with a new system it's a 12 week program while in this 12 week program we've got drink programs drug programs mental health programs we've got psychologists in I've got veterinarians in I've got yoga teachers I've got motivational speakers I've got comedians this system's a 12 week program it's so off the cuff but something needs to change something needs to change and there's so much red tape around it but I've got to roll the dice we've got to try these things and like I say it's I've got different visions from everybody else and like I say there's so much charity's out there who give food and blankets and food but for me I need to change the mindset and I can't force change upon people people want to want to change but when I speak to these people and you give them two minutes of your time they want to change I need to set up a place this system I'm trying to set up I believe it's not just going to work in Glasgow but I believe worldwide do you know what I mean because you're homeless doesn't mean you're dead you still got a personality there's people in my father laughs and jokes do you know what I mean you're just kind of lost your way and it's easy done and this is a scary part it's a sign now we can't happen to anybody they say you're only one or two paychecks away so I'm being homeless if you lose a loved one or you lose your job lose your kid you can go home you can end up sleeping on the street you can't happen to anybody so this documentary awakens people and that's why it's been so powerful because yeah people can relate people can go wait a minute we're all human beings and my eyes we're all connected but all is one and if you're helping somebody else I'm doing all this stuff help try to help others but like I say I'm wanting I feel good it's rewarding me and that's the no matter what way you look at that I'm wanting I feel good you know what I mean it's a selfish way but it's selfish in a way it isn't it isn't you know what I mean I'm still creating good but like I say it's me it's rewarding whose responsibility do you think it is to help try and fix the homeless situation? Human beings there's seven billion there's over seven billion people in the world yeah people blame councils and the governments stop pointing fingers take fucking responsibility if you want change become the change yourself if one person me and my two guys can create massive awareness and create thousands of people to create help after a week then what would it be like if we had a thousand or 10,000 yeah stop pointing fingers man there's so many people living council estates from the government stay in these houses it's not the government's problem that the mindsets went some people that have accepted that life do you know what I mean but human beings just two minutes of your time just forget what's important that's a human being sitting there that's somebody's son or daughter somebody's friend somebody's mom or dad do you know what I mean it's just you think all the people walk by in the city centre every day there's tens of thousands do you know what I mean so for me it's just to make the moves myself and create these things trial and error the thing I've got with a 12 week program I know it'll work but let's say I'm going to make a lot of mistakes I want to get doctors in as well people to give up a couple of hours at a time every month I believe a lot of people want to help out I believe for this new vision a new idea that people will come forward to help out and I know it'll work I know it'll work if I can educate myself on the mindset and how to create the change in the mind there was a man in my documentary who was 32 years old heroin changed his life guy Charlie changed his life and now he's doing amazing things now he's helping other people change their life people can change that's the beauty of life these mistakes make us who we are the day and all the fuck ups I've done when I'm proud of it I've still got a conscience I'm sorry for everybody I've fucking done wrong but I've still got to be proud of it I can't ever have the angle where they regret because then I feel like shit and then I can't do all these big things that I'm doing so I've just got to accept it move on now it's all about the present moment and creating the future that I want awesome awesome well you know kind of on that topic and we're going to go a bit deeper into the sort of philosophical stuff just now but what do you kind of think is like your your purpose in life help people yeah first of all you've got to help yourself which is the main thing there's so many people helping everybody else but I believe if you're trying to save everybody else it's really you it needs saving do you know what I mean I just believe I'm getting a good place mentally where I'm all feeling good and all the materialistic stuff I've said before listening I'm a big poser the hair and the tan and it is all bullshit when I'm helpful somebody that's when I really feel at one that's when I feel I feel alive here because I walk away feeling I've done something good I've done something good here do you know what I mean so that I feel good and that's what we should be craving helping people like I say I'm no fucking I don't know what's right or wrong for anybody but for me yeah these are the results that I'm getting and because I'm not helping other people I'm creating awareness and this is only a step I've already done that documentary but that doesn't mean what so so what basically so what do I do now I've got to keep going keep raising the bar and keep trying to get the help that's needed to create the change I believe I can change the world man people used to laugh but I'm no fucking laughing now I'm telling you do you know what I mean this is a guy from from fuck all do you know what I mean and I've got to keep going but I've got to stay in this path like I say I can rip the whole ceiling down yeah and a heartbeat so I've got to stay focused if I've not got any dreams or ambitions then my mind can go on wondering what's your sort of five-year plan for my life well yeah at the moment like what's your kind of vision for where you're going yeah just keep doing what I'm doing become a better dad okay still got some anger issues as well become only person I'm competing with myself still get frustrated and still can get lazy take control of my life more as well utilize my words work on my podcast create another cut of documentaries yeah I don't want to be in this game forever do you know what I mean because the life I'm in it even the limelight as well in the social media stuff it's fake it's false for me I want to kind of get out that maybe six years and no disconnect but just come away from it just it doesn't seem natural but right now I need it to create the platform to create the masses the mass changes do you know what I mean but it's gonna be six years I believe I'll do all this and then I'll come away from it and just yeah won't you see yourself doing beyond that help people but not as as front not as full on as the face maybe the backs the background work do you know what I mean okay creating up this let us say this vision to create massive change let us say to change the world and change the mindset as things in place in Canada doing just now the homelessness figures have dropped massively successfully whose clue so why we're not copying these people yeah unless so I just need to let us say keep working on me becoming a better person every day because I've still got a lot of faults and flaws that I go I shouldn't fucking do that man I need to change that okay so it's just become a better verse to myself I don't know what's five years around the corner I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow we don't know what's going to happen tonight do you know what I mean we could be lying in our boosers full of coke and fucking lying in a big puddle of pish I just don't know inspired anybody just said we're doing a slippery slope cheers big man do you know what I mean I just don't know it's just to be a better verse to myself keep improving on me I like to get in really good shape again yeah because listen yeah yeah fitness doesn't define you as a person but mentally I feel good about myself do you know what I mean and the money doesn't define you as a person but I feel good about me if I'm doing the right things because like I say I become lazy I can sit in with my crisps and my chocolate at night and I get caught that's my comfort zone but it happens every night do you know what I mean and then I feel like a fraud because if I'm promoting all this positivity how can I do that if I'm I need to lead by example yeah do you know what I mean I need to take the reins and become this this blueprint that I've got my mind to I want to be and it's it's no easy it's no easy but I'm doing it I'm still doing it but I just I'm aware of all these wee things that I'm like fucks sake she's always sitting in my bed eating a big packet of McCoy's when I should boot running or something do you know what I mean do you know what I mean I kind of kick myself because I'm this is just conditioning for so long mate yeah my dad used to take his boots to go to like 10 or 11 o'clock at night he used to go to the petro station and it was like bars of chocolate he used to get the paper and I've still got that conditioning on me like I've got a shot at 10 o'clock and I'm eating a packet of crisps but I know I'm doing it and I'm eating myself because if I'm I've just I've done something wrong do you know what I mean it's not a lost thing but it's no taking me towards the person I want to become yeah yeah so it's it's slippery yeah well what would you like your legacy to be James a good guy a guy who's changed um a guy who's done massive things I want people to be proud of me do you know what I mean I want people to go yeah he's he did well rap man he did well from what he came from and how he did and I want to let us say a little bit the forefront now and and lead by example and show people that can change I want to create massive changes I'm not on it for baby steps I might have changed like the world man I might have changed and make moves and create massive massive changes and people's mindsets and let us say everything's baby steps but these baby steps are becoming serious strides now and people are starting to start to take notice of what I'm saying and doing yeah which is good man it's good let us say I'm proud sometimes because I'm living this it doesn't feel right it doesn't feel it just every day feels the same you know what I mean in this picture in your head you think when I get this far and that far that's it that's what I've achieved that I've done it but when you get it I still feel the fucking same man I'm still eating my McCoys and so I can sit in the house fucking shit it does nothing changes you know what I mean and that's the tricky thing in life because what happens is for a couple or whatever they'll say that I'm gonna get married I'll get a house but when they get it they're still fucking miserable do you know what I mean nothing changes because listen I'm not saying for anybody they don't get married but for me when you do that you've got these goals in your mind when you want to get the house the baby the marriage but when you get that you go is this it you've got a 25 year mortgage you can't really you've got a guy there a woman you probably can't be fucking sick anymore and you're in it at the long haul because you've signed up for it do you know what I mean but is that we've just conditioned to think that's the way forward that's the final piece of the jigsaw but it's not because when we become a couple I've become there's so many happy couples out there but when you become a couple or whatever this is a guy's never had a serious relationship but do you know what I mean so it's hard for me to judge but when you become a married couple then you kind of stop working on you you kind of forget who the fuck you are you kind of become settled and in a routine and that's where probably frustration the anger kicks in maybe five year ten you're down the line because we stop working as as human beings for me personally I want to meet somebody who's going to push me and see my visions and and vice versa to help build these dreams and ambitions instead of just getting a house and I've got two kids but another couple of kids and and settling because you can come into bad habits and I'm I don't want that I don't want to just settle I kind of want to get everything in place and take over the world man you know it sounds crazy but maybe I'm just scared of commitment as well so I've just jumped all the gun here but that's fine man it's probably just be back scared of commitment but for me I just don't want to just settle I don't want to just settle for that that final piece of the chigsaw that I need this diamond the girl needs a diamond ring their finger it's not I mean because a wedding now just looks like a big party it's not I mean there's there's a lot of that because it's the idea of the ring the most loud the most chance the the divorce it's not I mean so yeah it's difficult to to look at that as well yeah yeah I don't even know the question is there no it's totally jumped toward the person that's what I do I think it's often the whole expectation versus reality thing you know you think that because you're getting married everything's going to change but it won't that won't always necessarily be the case yeah that's what it was that because like I say when you get these things nothing changes yeah I still feel fuck me there's one of my coys you know what I mean I need my comfort because people would keep telling me how good I'm doing I kind of know what in my mind I am but I still feel the same ain't nothing's changed do you know what I mean is fuck all changed which is scary to think that I keep doing these things and that's where I need to keep creating more goals because if those goals go my flame will go and then I think that's when I'm scared that the bad habits kick in again so it's a very thin line it's thin ice do you know what I mean so I've got to keep going if I stop then I'm running that boozers I'll be chatting your door at five in the morning for an after-party so let's let's just totally hypothetically let's pretend for a moment that your podcast is number one in the UK how do you feel the same yeah that's what I'm saying it's no really this doesn't mean shit what does it mean do you know what I mean it just for me it's like setting a goal yeah and hitting that target but then yeah after that 20 40 hours that goes and that's what I think a lot of celebrities are fucked up football players because when they've craven all this attention when that goes the life doesn't as if am I not my life not worthy anymore because we're craving that attention it's self-seeking so if you're a singer in all these bands or whatever it is if you're craving all that attention if that attention starts to go you think your career starts to go you don't feel as worthy that nobody cares anymore do you know what I mean because it's crazy like I say all these bench mats when you get it it goes the bus goes the documentary was released last week the buzz was there for two days because of the hype yeah then that goes and then so do you know what I mean so that's when you need to keep creating the progression and what do I do next so it's let us say it's a scary man it's fucking scary life it's not supposed to be easy but it can be it's tough yeah it is how do you define success for the inner being in me is creating good things that I know I'm proud of do you know what I mean because what is success what is the fame what is the these benchmarks that you're saying what does it mean it is irrelevant because everything's within but if I know I'm setting these small goals if I know I'm making changes if I'm changing people's lives that's the success for me that's me oh wait I'm leaving a map I just don't want to change one or two lives I want to change billions of lives do you know what I mean I want to change a massive a massive shift and I believe the shift is coming do you know what I mean the like attracts like and the people I'm attracting in my life they've got vision yeah and they're fucking just as crazy as me listen we're all crazy but these people they understand that to me but even though I talk people go he's fucking nuts deep inside they'll understand they'll still feel it in their core that wait a minute I actually talk no sense here do you know what I mean so for me the success is within for helping people and creating change and even if says it again but when I'm doing all this it's me it rewards from it it feels good and like I say I'm not people say if you change one like you've done good I'm changing billions I'm not changing I don't know how it's going to be done I just know if I keep doing what I'm doing people are waking and there's nothing that a lot of people are waking down there do you know what I mean yeah there's a lot of people are waking but it's hard to for me a guy from where I'm from a you imagine speaking like this in a pub do you know what I mean yeah I get fucking shorter so you gotta fucking nutcase people with my pals who I grew up with when I started changing they thought it was worse when I was changed than the guy I was who was crazy okay parties were to close off and dance and they thought they think I'm worse no no now because they see what I'm doing and that's when it's hard for people to see me change as well because even the people who I was close to they become not envious but they come they always don't think that he's never going to change they can't see why I can change because they can't change so they always think that's a massacre he's kidding on the wait for me to fall flat my face again because a few what happens is a few start doing something your life and you start doing good then people start getting annoyed with themselves because they start questioning why can't I change if he can do it why can't I and then if frustration comes in so the friends who say your friends become your enemies as well because even though I'm doing good people will support me but there will also be a lot of people there waiting for that for me to hit that hurdle yeah so which is which is one of the bad things about trying to do good yeah because people people's everybody's get different opinions of everybody my mom's got a different opinion me maybe the ex-girlfriend who I've cheated on made a bastard of him but everybody's get different opinions but it's hard for people to change their views on you when you're trying to change do you know what I mean so I'm I can't focus on anybody else I need to do it's right for me absolutely and and move and move forward with that do you know what I mean totally totally what's the best piece of advice you've ever received that's a good question that you're going to incorporate that into the podcast are you am I thank you I know there'll be something positive coming at us today or are you looking for something earlier what's the best advice I've ever been given what's a good question I really thought about that actually I've really been given good advice before yeah clearly no yeah all my advice I've I've written I've really educated myself as is probably through other through podcasts or through audio books the thing that changed my life was the power of now the book the power of now yeah he was the one that it was an ex-girlfriend that gave me that book so I was going through the change it sat in my company for two years and then I just I got the earphones and that's the thing just before I turned 30 is the okay the transformation was amazing of now um I listened to a couple of times but he's a boring he's a boring bastard man he's like he's like weeding and then he talks to him so chapter one it's about a year and a half to the rest of the world I kept falling asleep um but that was the thing that was the thing that the stuff and that made sense it was about the present moment which is so difficult to live in the present moment especially surrounded by everything unless you're a monk you're never going to have that sense of bliss you're never going to have that sense of peace and harmony because we're caught up in this fast this fast world but the power of now was was massive for me the power of now when I read out Whitney Divo a lot of Louise Hay stuff Abraham Hicks yeah I liked Tony Robbins and that was great at the start for me um Les Brown but I kind of went they go deeper and deeper we say Abraham Hicks as well great stuff uh-huh um I'll put the vortex and see all these motivational speakers they speak the same it's just different words it's always the same path where it's the law of attraction the power of now it's it's all kind of the same shit yeah yeah just different different voices and different words they kind of spin it around do you know what I mean totally but the power of now was I wouldn't because I've never had anybody give me advice and I would go oh that's changed my life do you know what I mean yes so for me the power of now was the turning point for me thanks get him on the board yeah put me to sleep I want criminals and porn stars you know what I mean oh there come on took me about a year and a half no that's exaggeration but chapter one I was out again yeah it's just the voice I don't know if it's just so calm I'm pleasant I just because the first few chapters in that book are are difficult and no easy but then it just made sense to me it made sense and then that was a that was a turning point was that listening to that audio book awesome if you had the opportunity to speak to your 20 year old self what would you say I'm still fucking up man get your grip yourself do you know what I mean that's one of the biggest regrets in my life was never listening to my dad everything ever says was true just about the circles I kept and because my dad lived that life we're not to live that life but it was a jack of rad and he knew he could see he seen everything before I seen it I was just naive and I had the blinkers on so for me it would be listening listening I never listened to anybody I thought I knew everything and I still think that but I do now listen because I speak a lot but listening is probably more important than speaking because if I listen then I'm learning something that I don't know if I'm speaking all the time I'm speaking the same shit that I'm speaking do you know what I mean so listening is the key element for me and I was sitting listening and that's what I've worked on in my podcast is to listen to people and actually what they're saying because at the start I was if they start speaking man's my next question's already I don't listen to a fucking word they're saying but I'm ready to just throw in that question so I'll throw in a question and it doesn't make any sense of what they've said I just I'm just ready to go right hurry up I'm funny so I can jump in so for me it's is to listen is a key element for me to kick on in my life is if I was to listen 20 if I was 20s and it'd be listening to you because people did try to help me and they say you're fucking up but I never listened but I must have eventually I must have all come into play because I've got a lot of good people don't mean but that was the only thing my dad never listened to him you know so I hope he's proud I can 100 relate to what you're saying about the podcast that gets easier good I hope so I hope so because I'm waiting I've got the question right I don't fucking finish what you're saying so I can throw that question at you and it doesn't even make any sense what they've just finished I just have that question yeah that's just listening as a key listening is just if not more important than speaking because we're learning something new do you know what I mean everybody knows something that we don't you'll know stuff I don't I know stuff that you don't and that's the the key because that's try that's me try to preach again and try to throw everything I know on people because it works for me might know what for me do you know what I mean so the key for me is listening I'd tell myself to listen and I'd definitely listen yeah yeah I can't remember who said it but I suppose it's the sort of belief that you can learn something from everyone yeah everyone's got something that you can learn from that's I don't know who says I heard that as well yeah yeah I think I've heard a few people saying it last question big question yes if you could change anything in the world what would it be and why would that change I don't know I'll take away the money I think I think money's are out of all evil yeah yeah so it is that's greed and power if I could change anything I would I don't make some crazy people but money's only been here for a few thousand years humans planets been here there aren't many humans I've got a hundred thousand years I'm saying millions but the planet's been here for billions of years money's an illusion we crave it we feel as if we need it but that is only paper and greed the poisons men so much greed that unbalances the world so if I could change anything I'd take away the money because I feel as if if it was love compassion and honesty the world by a great place the world by an amazing place can you imagine seven and a half billion people loving each other and being happy and why can't it happen because money controls that money controls everything at greed and everything we need to do in life is as for money at the end of the day everything's in everything we do is in product as for money which is scary and what has to be that's the way the world is sadly has only paper and for you to look at that and crave it then it's crazy in my eyes and listen I'm sitting here we're so alone and we need it to survive do you know what I mean but we don't need it also and it's the way the world and if I think the world's just a wee bit upside down and it can be tricky and for people watching or listening I don't mean you sound crazy but for me personally money's it's really all evil and it's what's it's creating mass destruction because everything it's created through wars it's through greed through the money where it's the banking system where it's poppy fuels where it's the guns or whatever wars are created it's whatever behind that is created through the evil I may entreat a take control and it powers the world which is scary so yeah for me if I could change anything I'd change money situation I'd make it dissolve yeah yeah I do I do well on that basis I do have one other kind of two pronged question I think um what would you replace money with but this is kind of diverging but hopefully it'll come to the same thing if you were to recreate the way that we live on earth or take everyone from earth and put them on a different planet what would it look like how would it operate how would you what would be the means for exchange and bartering yeah just honesty speaking helping each other you wouldn't need to exchange anything there's not many people need the hand with anything then you would help you would give a helping hand everything would be natural for me the animals would be here the planet would be here all the trees everything would be here no pollution we could have cars running in water do you know what I mean again money a poison men's soul everything is created the world revolves around money so for me I'd have a world with love and compassion and honesty and the vigilance be who you want to be trying not to judge do you know what I mean you can you've got to remember if you put a black kid the white kid Chinese kid even a fucking purple kid they gather at birth those kids are going to get on they don't know the religion they don't know anything for me religions to divide the world for me absolutely they don't know none the wiser so if you're conditioned as soon as you're born you're labeled you're given a name you're given a religion you're given a football team to support listen I'm I'm not against anything but for me personally borders religions is to divide the world why should we be putting borders anywhere because skin colors because they languages who says do you know I mean there should be one one world and that's one planet that's earth one country earth and my eyes do you know I mean there's seven and a half billion people why not why we're not under we're under the same roof yeah do you know I mean why we're all divided I because it's greed try to power everywhere I think United Kingdom I think they've I think they've basically ransacked nearly every country except but 22 23 but yet we're going about immigrants do you know I mean everybody's human same as the Native Americans in America and I'm totally going off track here but they think there's millions and millions of these people were murdered they were in America first do you know what I mean it was just we're create we're we're controlled with power and greed and there's only a small small majority of people controlling this world and it's crazy to think but the power of the people is so strong and the people can wake up and realize we can have a good world we can have a good I might never see it in my life but the world there is a lot of goodness goes on in the world but if you can create that ripple effect and create the changes and the stuff that we're talking about other people's maybe seem to somebody will see it 10 20 year down the line and it'll make them want to change and maybe they can jump on that and you look at all these people who stand up for people your Malcolm X's your John Lennon's and massive massive people who stood up and stood out the circle and try to awaken people all right they might have get took out the cards but yeah it's just good to like I say and just keep educating keep learning for me I'd have a one world just want no countries no bullshit no fences no nothing like that just have it that's just me but I'm let's say I've got a different path what I mean yeah well people should stop stop watching the news and start watching the James English podcast exactly that's a good way to get seven and a half I'm actually a fraud this is all bullshit I just want to get everybody to watch my podcast you know what I mean and give me sponsor money so I'm a freaking fraud you know what I mean because it's pretty sure that shit but we're still in that we're still in the circle in the bubble myself yeah you need to survive do you know what I mean I know it's it's crazy but like I say I don't want to contradict myself either yeah but it's hard yes do you know what I mean yeah I know yeah I'd love that everybody be happy and do you know what I mean because I speak I see a lot of people we say hello to somebody on the trainer what if I walk in the street I think you're a fucking madman everybody's on the phones and do you know what I mean yeah it's so crazy it's so crazy but listen he's to her own you know what I mean pub now james I've had a brilliant time with you cheers mate listen thanks for having me it's an absolute pleasure cheers you're absolutely somebody that kind of raises the vibration of the people that you're around which I think is absolutely awesome so oh it's been a pleasure it's great to meet you man thank you so much cheers