 This video I'm going to give you four things not to put in your CASPA personal statement if you don't want it to end up in the trash I'm going to focus on the CASPA personal statement That's the essay that people write when they're applying to PA school But I think that these observations can apply to anyone who's writing a personal statement from medical school Nursing school law school basically any time that you have to write about yourself Since I posted my CASPA essay on YouTube people have been reaching out to me for help with making their essay More impactful so far. I've helped about 30 students and in this video I just want to consolidate a few of the things that I see coming up over and over again that really hurt people's essays I'm not going to use any specific examples. So don't worry if you've reached out to me This is purely to help everybody write a better statement. So without further ado Here's four things not to put in your CASPA personal statement Number one. I actually want to be a doctor a surgeon. I want to work in medical administration administration Whatever anything that's not a PA one thing you have to understand about the people reading your statement and the people who are going to interview you is They're all very passionate about training up the next generation of PAs Most of them are PAs some of them might be doctors But one thing they all have in common is they're extremely passionate about training up the next generation of PAs and they're all Partially or completely giving up their clinical practice to train up that next generation So the last thing they want to hear is that you want to be anything but a PA or that you're using the PA profession As a stepping stone to medical school or something else You know that really reminds me of something I heard in a video from the PA coach I'm gonna link it right up here right now because I got a lot of value out of this guy's content when I was applying to PA school What it reminds me of is a story He told when he was sitting on a PA school admissions board and they were interviewing students and this one girl had Perfect grades perfect demeanor. She was personable She was the perfect applicant and all the other board members just like him were just like she's a shoe in she's gonna get in She's doing great and this one board member gave her a very softball question in my opinion They asked what are you gonna do in five years or where do you see yourself in five years? And you know what she said? She said probably in another graduate program Hey, all the board members decided at the same time. No way. She's not getting in and she didn't get it So the last thing you want to say in your essay is I actually want to be a doctor or anything else So now that I've reviewed several people's essays. I've seen a few times People actually say I want to be a doctor and then they tell me you know Not in the essay, but they tell me an email that a I actually want to be a doctor But being a PA is a backup plan or I might use it as a stepping stone to medical school That's fine But at the very least do not put it in your personal statement for PA school What I'm doing right now is I'm helping people stand out in their essays I'm helping the admissions board see them as more than a number and More as a person to feel something when they're reading their essay, but before I can even do that I first have to help you take out all the things that are just gonna get your essay toss right in the trash This is one of them. That's why it's number one If by the way, I'm gonna put a link to that video from the PA coach in the information for this video And also in a card up here or up here wherever it goes You click on the little I and you can watch that video all right number two Starting with anything negative things like I never thought I'd like medicine or I never thought I'd be interested in medicine Or I was never a good student those things might be true But don't start your essay with them start with something else big caveat here If you went through something very difficult that helps you grow and become a better person and in turn a better PA Okay, that's something you can start with as long as you put kind of a positive spin on it and tell people How it made you grow how it made you become a better person So for example, I was helping one student with their essay and they had a very traumatic event in their life They had a racist incident at work and no one stepped in to help all the patients all the staff They just sat there and stared The incident made this person feel completely isolated and alone and like no one was there for them And it even made them question their dream of going into the medical field and practicing as a PA this person then described how they spent some time soul-searching and Finally decided that they do want to go into the medical field, but they want to make the medical system better They want to treat every single patient as an individual who has their own situation and struggles in life and make that patient feel Important and give them the care that they need this person included all of these things in their essay the bad and then the good And they showed how they grew from the experience I thought that was an excellent excellent way to describe Something traumatic and terrible that happened to you something very negative But something that you turned into a positive and that speaks volumes about you as a person So again, I really wouldn't start with anything negative unless it was extremely powerful and impactful in your life And you managed to turn it into a positive number three humble brags Please please please do not humble brag. What is a humble brag a humble brag is an ostensibly modest or self deprecating Statement whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud I had an awful hair day, but girls just won't stop hitting on me Anyone who thinks daily driving a Ferrari is great never thought about the gas mileage It took so much hard work and sacrifice, but I can't believe I graduated with a 4.0 Instead of humble bragging what you should do is show that you are truly humble and committed to constant and Perpetual self-improvement and learning you want to be a lifelong learner You want to do a little bit better every day like LeBron James says you're proud of what you've achieved I'm not saying you shouldn't be proud, but you do understand that you need to approach everything in life with a beginner's mindset You can always do better no matter how much of an expert you are and as someone applying to PA school You're not an expert as a PA student. You're not an expert as a neurosurgeon. That's been practicing for 30 years Okay, you might be an expert, but you still shouldn't humble brag next Number four and probably the most important thing that I can talk about today If you don't take anything else out of this video, please listen here This is the biggest thing that I comment on when I review people's essays This is the most common thing people do wrong and it's the most common thing that makes your essay boring So what is it? You're describing too much. You're not showing enough. You're not doing enough action You're not making people feel anything. You're just describing. What do I mean by that? Take these examples Through my experience as a certified nurse aide. I have learned to be a very caring person and work really hard Okay, good intro, but let's see what else you got the next sentence My experience has taught me that hard work and caring about my patients makes a difference Okay, I'm right there with you, but I'm getting a little bored. I'm not gonna lie Let's see what she says in the third sentence and this is not a real essay This is just examples I've written based on a lot of things that I've seen so I'm not hating on anyone's specific essay but anyway third sentence a Difference is what I want to make and that's why I'm applying to PA school to make a bigger difference That's it. I'm over it. Give me another personal statement to read this one's going in the trash I don't want you to describe things You can describe a little bit at the end if you're summarizing or at the very beginning if you're gonna tell us what you're Really gonna talk about but don't make your entire essay Description I want you to show tell us what color the patient's hair was Tell us what they said how they felt how you felt what were they eating what were they drinking was it cold Was it hot was the floor sticky was your heart pounding? Were they nauseous were you nauseous? Try this instead Miss Jones who always brightened my day was not being herself my heart sank down to my stomach something was off The cheerful face that I looked forward to seeing every day at 4 p.m. Sharp when I started my shift was just staring off into the distance I Felt tears rolling up in my eyes as I suspected the worst See the difference I want you to show Put me there in the room with you as the reader I know I'm just reading a piece of paper, and I don't know you but put me there in the room with you Tell me exactly what you're experiencing what other people are experiencing what you see here feel smell Make it personal make people feel people remember feelings. They don't remember words They're gonna remember you if you make them feel something and help get to know you They are not gonna remember if you just described something for 5,000 characters If you'd like to get my help personally shoot me an email my email is gonna be in the information for this video It's also on the information page for my YouTube channel And I'll be happy to help you with your CASPA essay with any essay you're writing with your overall CASPA application Or with your interviews if they're coming up I'd be happy to do a mock interview with you if you have an idea for something You'd like me to talk about in a video go ahead and email me as well pretty much all my videos come from People telling me what they want me to talk about things. They're confused about I'm very happy to help with that as well If you enjoyed the video, please like it share it Subscribe to my channel help me reach more people because I really think that by fixing some very simple things a lot of people Can drastically improve their applications and their chances for getting into the graduate program that they want to get it Thank you so much for watching the video, and I'll see you in the next