 So severely that there was, well, yeah. Anyway, welcome to episode number 26 of the Marty and Michael podcast. It's fully actual. Matt. Three. He's back, Jack. And what the fuck? I've got one of those fucking things I spoke about in previous podcast. The hair is going over my eye. Yeah, just look, you just do this. He's he's just wipe across your face once with your whole hand. No, no, it's not my fucking long hairs. It's it's an eyebrow hair. Yeah, I'll do it to your eyebrow to wipe it a bit. I've done that. Rearrange it. It's been I've been doing. I've been ripping him out and spurting him out. Or to go get the razor. You're meant to go. Hey, sorry, I'm confused. So your eyebrow hairs are coming down into your eyes. I can see this fucking strand going over my eye. And it's like from the lights, it's just fucking hair like that. It's not your eyelash. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I think we have a chance to win at you. Brown, I didn't think about that. Let's see. Holy shit, that's why you are Matthew Brown. I think he thinks. No, no, no, it's still there. Something's going on. But maybe you're just going a little bit blind. Oh, maybe he's a small amount of blindness in his eye from all the years. Is it a bit of a blur maybe? No, it's just a little fucking faint hair there. A hairline blimp, they call it in the medical terms. That is a beginning stages of blind blindness, like a hairline fuck off. I've never heard of that. Yeah, it's new. It's a new thing, man. Just read about it the other day. Prankcha got you down and a bloody got you down, brother. No, no, you're sweet, bro. It's probably just a hair. Anyway, what happened last week? The fuck? Oh, well, I'm I'm getting settled. What do you think of the place? What are your opinions? No, it's it's there's definitely a step up from I think this is the best place I've ever seen you in. Yeah, well, I've gone from sheds to a shaft to this, but like. Yeah, no, it's definitely. Yeah, I've like actually tried to put effort into it. I bought like fake plants, a rug. Yeah, rad art. Yeah, the artworks looking awesome. I think shout out again to Greg Shelton. We'll do we'll do a house tour for our website. Members, guys, by the way, this podcast sponsored by Michael University of Michael. If you want to support this podcast, go sign up to our website. It's a cup of a coffee a month, a cup of a coffee a month. And it's yeah, it's five bucks, five bucks a month. And two new videos a week on it. That's what we're pumping out on there a lot at the moment. It's fucked. Anyway, on with the house. Yeah, it's fucking. I'm going up, man. I'm finally starting to go up. I've started reading. Yeah, you bought fucking forks and shit like Enid Blighton, Paul Jennings. It's been fucking great. And he's put his crowns. I'm not that I know that in the open anymore, his crowns. He's packed shit away, packed it away. And he's bought a storage unit. Look, look, I put our camera on there. He's fucking, what are you down to? Three, three nappies a week now? I haven't even opened my latest pack. I like, yeah, I mean, so much better. Seriously, thought about it the other night when I was like, fuck, on the weekend. You're a grown man. Had a few beers. I should put a nappy on. Yeah. But I was like, fuck it, take a risk. And that risk paid off, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it did, because I didn't piss. I fell asleep in your room once at one of your old houses. And I was just really tired and I fell asleep. And I remember waking up and I thought, I thought I was like in a rubbish dump. Mm-hmm. And I was like, oh, oh, like, yeah. In one of my actual rooms. In one of your rooms. No, not being me, not being me, but this is true. No, dude, I really thought I woke up in a rubbish dump. And I thought, I was like, am I drunk? And then my thought was, no, they drugged me. They've drugged me. And then I came to and then I realized Boz was like in the doorway. And I was like, oh, hang on. I'm at Michael's house. I'm at Michael and Marty's. Yeah, remember our room when we first kicked off? We just had to share a bed for a fucking night. You couldn't see the floor. It was the bed. Well, it was just a mattress. There was a fucking like a wall around it. A wall around it of clothes. And then you'd have to go over the wall of clothes to get into the bed. It was so weird. Me and Michael and Bozzy sleeping in that bed for fucking like a year nearly. I do remember this. You guys asked me to help you move to the next place. And when I rolled up with my ute, you came out with a mattress we put in the back. And then you both threw bags of clothes and it said, that's it. I was like, are you sure? We had no furniture. And you were like, no, we're leaving everything else there. It's so good when you don't own shit because you're moving so much easier. And like, if you have too many things, I don't know, it crowds your mind and your style. And just like, when I have to move again, I'm going to hate it even more because I've bought double the shit I had before. And now it's like, fuck, I can't imagine having to go, especially with this helping. Like, it's just too hard. You sort of live the fight club life where what's they're saying, the more you buy possessions, the more possessions own you. The more you own possessions. That's why minimalists, like fucking their lives are amazing because they don't have much. They don't have to fucking think about much. Do you remember the homeless man in Tawong and his name was Ziggy? Yeah, we drove past him today. We drove past, yeah, today. They thought he was quite rich. I'm not sure. I'd love to know. If anyone knows. If anyone knows, comment. A law student or something as well. And he just preferred to live on the street and just with nothing because it was easier. Because my brother said it was his studying law and said that law students would go to him and ask for advice with assignments. They tried to get rid of him and he took them to court and won. Yeah, yeah, because he knows his shit. He can fucking sleep. He can smell a rat. He can smell a rat. Yeah. He, yeah. And he, he, well, he can smell. Sorry. Think about it. Oh, he fucking lost my command of thought. With smell a rat. Oh, that's a good joke at least. And make me lose your thought, hey? He can smell a rat. Boy, that's a saying. That's a saying you should do for your video. He can smell a rat. You fool. Smell a rat. I don't have my gun. I've only got a hammer. Cut that corner. Why? That was good. That was a shit joke. Oh, I liked it. Wasn't that funny? It sounded like the whole buildup was so that you could make that joke. Cut that corner. Matt agrees it was a shit joke. All right. Guys, guess what? Matt's been around. He's been rustling his feathers and papers flying around in a calculator like this. I saw for a little bit he was doing that. Calling people, calling pubs, calling people in pubs and shit. I don't know what he's found. I don't know what he's found here, but it's crazy. It's on this day. She's been to college. She's been to college. She's been to college. I have no knowledge. It's on this day. He's got four on this day. Three. Oh, it sounded like one of those toys. What are they called? Oh, if anyone knows the name of those toys, can you comment, please? Yeah. Thank you. Three. Three. Three. OK. On this day. Better. On this very day, whatever date it is, whatever date you're listening to this on, this happened. On this day in 1988, Russell Crow used infants as bait when fishing for shark. He would snatch infants from prams and claim that he never realized that infants were actually small humans. He was just thought infants were some sort of sick dying animal due to their lack of strength and soft squishy bodies, similar to how food goes soft and squishy when it's rotting. Anyway, after finding an infant, he would thread the hook through its top and bottom lip and cast his line with great force, sometimes casting well over 50 meters. Although he managed to catch multiple sharks with the infants, to his credit, Russell did stop fishing with babies when he was told that infants were actually small humans. So he did stop. Wow, what a like horrific mistake to make. Imagine not knowing what a baby is. Like, it's crazy. He must have just never grown up around any babies. Yeah, well, gladiated, dude. They didn't have them back then. Yeah, so true. I didn't think of anything like that before. Next one. On this day in 1982, Tom Cruise nibbled his way out of the cocoon he had grown up in. Tom isn't sure how many years he spent in his cocoon, but remembers making the cocoon back when he was still in the larvae worm phase of his life in the early 1920s. Tom is currently in the pupar life cycle and still has one step of his life cycle to evolve into. The final life cycle involves Tom finding a body of fresh water consuming large quantities of fish and then dissolving into a foam and floating on top of the water. From here, he will prepare to be fertilized by another one of his kind, which starts the process all over again. Oh, Scientology. Scientology, yeah. 100%. Wow, is that what they do? I like it when you look into all that cult shit. That's what Scientology is. What I just said. Is there any Jetri Epstein stuff this week? Could be. I guess we'll have to read on. On this day, we should just scatter that throughout our podcast. Just say it, just whisper things in. Bed of Art. Bill Clinton. Biomarch. Unsolved murders. On this day in 1999, Ronald McDonald was arrested for the first time for drug possession. This event sparked a huge downhill spiral for Ronald. Over the coming years, he was charged with sexually assaulting the Hamburglar, possession of an illegal firearm, and multiple drug charges. His lowest point came in 2005 when his home address was raided by police, where they discovered the body of Grimace. His three-week-old corpse had flesh torn from it, and they found over three liters of Ronald's ejaculate, circulating Grimace's digestive system. Donald was admitted for psychiatric evaluation was diagnosed with severe bipolar and depression, as well as addictions to cocaine, heroin, and meth. The original Ronald McDonald is still in maximum security prison today, and is said to be released in 2034. Holy fuck. Did you know what Grimace was meant to be? Yeah, no. What they fucking make him out, what they think he is? What? He's a chicken nugget. I was wondering what the fucking was. What? He's a fucking chicken nugget, a purple chicken nugget. That doesn't make sense to me. I know, it doesn't make sense to color. Even though it fucking, like, shout out to purple, best color yet, but fucking hell. Grimace is meant to be a chicken nugget. That doesn't make sense. Well, it works. It's pretty cute, though. I remember as a kid being, I remember as a kid being, I remember as a kid, when I was writing this today, I remember being drawn to McDonald's when I was a kid for no fucking reason. Like, like, the ads and the fucking parties you had. I'd go there, I wouldn't ever even like the food. I'd be like, oh, I could always beg mom and dad to take me out. I'd be like, oh, it's fucking shit. Dude, I think about it now. And the McDonald, when you have your birthdays here, I had one when I was, I can't remember, some young. They're marketing amazing. And they walk you through the place and they lock you in the freezer. And I thought that was the best thing ever. Yeah, well, and even, yeah, as you said, the fucking playground, they sell it, they're marketing, they hook them. And where are those kids now that have grown up? But like, once you realize, like, how good is it when you actually cook a meal? Yeah, I know, yeah. Like, I hate cooking, but. But fuck, we had, having said that though, man, we've had some good times at McDonald's. But like, too much. I can't imagine eating McDonald's. Yeah, yeah. When our bodies would crumble if we ate that shit. I feel, it'd be like, it's like, remember when you have hangover food like KFC, you feel like you're gonna vomit? That's what fucking same thing with McDonald's. We haven't had it in time. It makes you feel sick. But fuck, we used to eat it a lot because we had to, because it's cheap and convenient. Yeah, I know. And fucking Domino's, at least they're not. Five dollars a pizza, that's what we used to have. As much as we sort of harass you, or slightly promote you. That's a Uber driver's dinner. We are, we were fucking big supportive. We helped you. So yeah, we helped you financially, back in the day and we also helped you. And now we're taking care of marketing signs of things. Yes. How about a thank you? Behind the scenes, behind the scenes. What turned me off massively for fucking chicken, in general, or McDonald's? So I used to love, I loved my chicken nuggets. But oh, he loves his chicken. He saw me every fucking day. Oh yeah, he got very say to clap hands. Chicken nuggets, he said like that. And yeah, but they put little chicks, like the fucking little baby chickens, in the grinders. So you're not only just eating like, their breasts. Yeah, they emulsify everything. You're eating their fucking beaks, their fucking feet thin. Yeah, they use emulsifiers. And if you're eating food, look at the back, and look at the very list of ingredients. If there's something called emulsifier, any type of it in your food, it's fucking ranked. Molds shit together, like it melts everything together. Oh! I feel, I can't do McDonald's anymore. I remember the first time I was with Michael when he ordered just chicken nuggets. And we went out, it might have been KFC, but anyway, and we walked up to the counter and Michael goes, can I get 20 chicken nuggets? That's it. And then he looks at me and he goes, and he goes, oh, excuse me. Can they be fresh please? Oh! Oh, I did! I did! I would always get it fresh. If it was stale, I can't do it. And yeah, you turn to me and you go, I refuse to eat it when they're not fresh. But it was a real nugget connoisseur Michael was back in the day. He nibbled on them. Yes, very good. It's too dry. Nah, it's too dry. But yeah, like even with fucking cooking food at home, I can't have it once it's been cold. Because I don't know, it just takes, like, think about pasta. Think about pasta, right? You have pasta the next day. It's not what it's like fresh. Sometimes it's better because it's marinating in it. Yeah, I know. Everyone says that. Okay, well, I wouldn't go with a microwave. I'd go more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're like, oh! Yeah, you could do that too. It's so easy. It's an OCD thing. But I reckon you'll grow out of that too. You can definitely tell. You even know when you have fucking fast food, if it hasn't been cooked, then and there. It's like terrible if it's been sitting there for a fucking half an hour or even like 10 minutes. It's not as good. On this day in 2017, Ellen DeGeneres was recorded doing that dance that she does in a car park. After threatening a few passers-by who made eye contact with her, police were called. The police called for backup and that's when Ellen became uncooperative and violent. She was tased by three separate police but still managed to skull a leader of petrol. It took six police officers to restrain her and she spent two weeks in jail. In a statement released to the media, Ellen explained that her personal life is her personal life and everyone needs to back off and keep watching her bullshit fairy show. Then she spat at a puppy. She spat at a puppy. Wow. How do you spit when you spit? At puppies, it's different at puppies. It's more of a mist. I spread it out a bit more but if it's a full grown animal, I really try and concentrate it and blow it out as hard and fast as I can. How about yourself, mate? I like, I did it the other day. I went for it. You were in here, right? Yeah, I wanted to get more God-like. Have you guys been keeping up to date with Ellen's stuff? I think she came out and apologized for her staffing bullying. Apparently she's a fucking bitch. Dude, apparently a lot of people in Hollywood are bitches slash pedophiles. You wouldn't think Ellen, though, like the way she brands herself, that she's like, unbelievable. Well, I heard different. I heard it was their producers that were the mean ones. Oh, really? But you never know. Yeah, exactly. You never know. I guess you got a way up when you're on one of those shows that are so big like that. You know, of course, there's gonna be times where you lash out at your stuff. It happens. That's work. That's a workplace. But like, fuck. I'm not condoning it. Let's think about it. I'm not condoning it, though. I guess we used to make fun of Ellen the generous even before she was a piece of shit. For her fucking dance when she's walking down the stairs, revolting, fucking disgusting. Oh, yeah. I feel sick. Cut that corner, I think. No. No. Think about what I was doing there. But yeah, dude. Like, that motion, that over and over and back and forth is so fucked. And then that's all she does. Next segment. And that's the name of the next segment, isn't it, Matt? Yes. She renamed it. And in this segment, we answer fucking questions that you dogs have sent in. Next question is from one underscore, zinna underscore one. For those, if you really like this question, you think, fuck. And that guy sounds interesting. Yeah, I might go and see what he's about. And you want to see what his life is like? That's his username, if you want to do that. Anyway, let's see what he said, hey. Marty and Michael, would you rather sit on a dildo and eat a dick or sit on a dick and eat a dildo? I'd probably rather sit on a dick just because statistically, they're probably smaller than most dildos and therefore less pain. But I would ride that cock. I would stand and twist. Stand and twist? No, yeah, I don't know. It's such a hard, you flip a coin. Because it's actually, because actually you'd probably go the dildo because that way there's no chance of getting diseases. And then you only have to eat a dick. It's probably harder to eat a dildo. You could probably just boil a dick up and swallow it when one goes. Yeah, it might not even be hard. He's like flaccid cock put into a bowl. If you're gonna swallow it, yeah. And it'd have to be like a cut off dick, which wouldn't be hard. It'd just be a little bit of a clear. Be like a little sausage. Boiler on my sausage. Boiler. Boiler with tea. Boiler with a bit of mint leaves on it and then fucking pop it in your mouth. Oh, is that what Germans do, they have a little bit of cocks. That's how they eat cocks. Oh, truce, truce. All right, next question is from Michael Cox. And those of you who think, oh, I wonder, his at is Mousy Cox, M-O-U-S-E-Y-C-O-X. All right, let's see what he said, eh? Podcast question. You guys are indirectly helping thousands of people every week with the pods and daily with their videos in regards, their mental state and spreading laughter and positivity. How aware of this are you and how does this make you guys feel to make such a difference this way? Sorry, it's a bit of a deep one, but very important. Ah, cheers, dude. We get messages from people and it fucking helps. Yeah, it's always fun reading comments and shit, I guess. Like, because that's, you know, especially if it's a well-liked video. Yeah, or even just the DMs, because we try and go through them all, but yeah, sometimes you get these messages of people saying they're so down and so upset and literally they watch our shit and it fucking makes them happy. And it makes your heart feel like it's there. Mm, it's nice to feel. Yeah. No, it's just knowing you're just making people happy. Yeah, and we just, which is nice. We wanna do good and we're glad that we help people that like it. So, yeah, it's sort of the reason why we started it, really. The reason why we get up in the morning. Yeah, it gives you like a fucking reason to wake up. So, no, we sort of do realize but sometimes we don't. Sometimes we forget. We get a bit cheeky, don't we, Matthew Brown? Don't we do that? You see when we forget, don't you, Matt? I'm your memory. Yeah, he literally is a little memory bank. All right. Fuck! Now I'm down. I wanna piece on my new house. I'm gonna piece on my new house. We can start whispering random words because I think he's gonna add something. All right, next question is from Masimus Deneen or Semus the Shrimp. Surely you're getting Julian Woods back on the potty. One of your best potties was with him. Fucking love that potty. I know it wasn't a question, but I'm fucked up on Coke at that tonight and I would be pissed tomorrow if I didn't tell you and I thought it would be good. Also, cheers for using my question in the potty a while back on my own. Shit, Chris, you've made a fucking funny. Well, we wanna get a few other people we haven't had on before, like Hens, Charmie, Jaden and the guys, but we also wanna, why not get fucking? I want Matt Brown to come back on. Yeah, well, he refuses. He won't even fucking let his face come about when he goes to fix up a cord. How dare you? You look so good with a beanie. What do you want? I just want you on my lap. I've said it for weeks now and you've done nothing. It would be good if you- I can't start it. Think about it. If you talk it in turns. Look at yourself, mate. You need a fucking look at yourself. I can't start moving. Oh, there I am. Yeah. Oh, there. Yeah, there. I want the camera to see you. Look how fucking cutie is. That's what I want in my life. That's my mate. I need him by my side. He's always there. It would be nice if you would sit- I'm gonna miss you, man. Sit on our laps for the entire podcast and just have a mic here. Oh. Would you like a little puppet? I want you back. I want you back. I like being like the- I'm kind of like the backup singer. I want you back, dude. Ooh. Our next question from Carl James Manahan or manahan.cj18. Hello, guys. I have a question for your next podcast. If you're all to go back in time, which civilization slash human era would you visit? Guys, visit and impart the knowledge that you guys have now since you're really good scientists. And a good question. Because you don't want to go back too far because the further back you go, you can't really relate to anyone. You can't talk. I want to go back to how the pyramids were getting built. Oh, yeah. That would actually be- That is something that would get me off. All right, if you could go back to- And by the way, let's bring this up because it's fucking cool. Joe Rogan's posted the New York Times post about the fucking- they've admitted to having alien craft or something out of this world. It's- There's some cool shit coming out. Bob Lazar is cool. Fucking George Knapp, we love you. You guys are rad. We need you. Thank you. I'm obsessed with it. I can't stop. I can't sleep anymore. All right, fucking icon. I'm depressed. Did you guys see the post about Elon Musk? And I think he said something about the pyramids maybe being built by aliens. And so Egypt invited him to come inspect the pyramids or something along. I think it's along those lines. It was more of a like, well, if you think they're my violence, please come and inspect them. Yeah. I thought it was pretty cool. That is cool. Yeah, dude. That's- Yeah, so maybe the Big Bang, you go back to the Big Bang and see what happens. How the fuck did it all begin? So I'm conned in another fucking realm or dimensions, pressed a button and we're just a school project in a super computer. I had a really good theory once about the Big Bang. It's actually Earth, but like millions of years ago, we actually built nuclear weapons and they sent them into space to try and get rid of them. And the explosion was the actual Big Bang. Ooh. Matthew Brown. There you go. Matthew Brown. Brown my mind, man. Gregify it. Next question is from mech69696969 or i underscore am underscore sped underscore Kerchow. And he or she has asked, are oranges named orange because it's orange or is orange named orange because it looks orange? And oranges are orange because they are just, they're orange. Next question. What are you making? Like, fuck it. Think about it, honestly. Oranges. Why are lemons not called yellow? Are they? I'm pretty sure. Are they? No, no, they're not. I just checked. Are lemons yellow and limes green? Why aren't mandarins called little oranges? Yeah. Why aren't grapes called, or potatoes, like just call them hot chips because that's what they're turning into. Wow. Well, he fucking saves time. Well, mandarin and tangerine are two words for the same thing, technically citrus. They're called mandarins because they were thought to be a native to China. Why isn't rice called white ants? Well, I guess because it's such a thing as white ants, also it will be confusing. The termites, remember? Oh yeah. Remember the termites? Yeah, dude, the shed days I do. What are the animals? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What a moment there. There comes the old ass. We're talking about fruit. Here comes the old ass. Oh, yeah, a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. Oh, man, not very cool. So the reason it is, yeah. Well, what we just said. All right, Rachel Dunaway or RA underscore Dunaway has said, G'day, my favorite cunts. If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family assume you had done? Oh, man, back in the day, it would have been like a, you would be fucking done for damage. Same with me, to a degree. We would have broken something in destruction. We just would, I don't know what you call it, fucking violent, not violent, but angry kids. Michael will be arrested for spreading his asshole in front of people who didn't want to see it. Whatever charge comes with that. Sexual harassment. Nudity! But yeah, like, I guess it's not to children or women in a sexual way, it's trying to show your mate. It's just having a fucking life of the boys. Who can't fucking get their asshole around the boys, right, and get fucking pissed off, can't. Yeah, bitch. Fucking can't. All the boys love a good asshole. I can't. It's fucking go-to, it's a go-to joke of ours. Yeah! Yeah, go to the website, you'll fucking see it all. Marty will be arrested for not sitting down during a movie in the cinemas. During a stampede? Just kept dancing in the cinemas when he's meant to be seated. I don't know what, yeah, these days, you're pretty, you fucking, you're all right. You don't, oh, you don't break shit anymore. You might, oh, yeah. Change heaps. Yeah, we're somewhere you should be. But, yeah, what else? Fuck, I don't know. Kidnapping might be a kidnapping charge in there. Yeah, that was a couple years ago. I found Marty's decisions are very loose when I first met him. Now they're a little bit more thought through. Like, when I first met him, we were all, well, first properly had a conversation with him. We were at a hotel down south, and he walked up to me. He used to love coming up to me and saying, kiss me. And he whispered in your ear. And one time he did that and I said, no. And so his anger of me saying, you know, he grabbed an empty beer bottle and he just threw it off the balcony. He didn't even look where and like there was cars and cars and stuff below. But, you know, just a bit of loose. Just loose. Yeah, he doesn't think before he tries. Yeah. Because he's nothing to lose. Well, you just have nothing to lose back then. So you don't need to think about the consequences. But now he would. Now we have shit to lose. So we have plans in a pram. But now he would look to an aim and then throw it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He'd make sure he fucking hit something that he wanted. Yeah. And make sure something filmed it too. Next question from Sean Cloonan. Sean underscore Cloonan. Let's see, I'll triple O. I'll ball on it. Yeah, that's three. N-A-N. And he has asked, just watched it. Love it. Thanks, brothers. Can you use this for the podcast if you like, but I'm just genuinely curious. What breezes Bosley? He has human-like eyes and it freaks me out. It's good, though. I'll take a Bosley clone. He's a box across a wolf hound with some massive sucking in there somewhere. His mum was a purebred wolf hound, massive bitch. Huge, humongous, monstrous thing. And Bosley's father was a box across a massive. And they fucked out of fucking a backyard. Rolling around. Dogs spoof pumped up it. Spat out Bosley. Love that. Such a mummy's boy, Bosley was. Was new Bosley, hey? His little darling. Where's my little schnook-knee-pop, hey? Where's my little darling? He looked up. Oh, dude. I'm so glad you were distracted with that bullshit because I was like, hey, fuck his- Oh, you fucking coward. Woo! Fucking coward. Oh, Bosley's look, then, was so cute. My little darling. Be-she-en. That's the name of the next segment. And this is a segment where we just unbox everything you guys have sent to us. What the fuck was that? Be-she-en. That was so shitty. Oh, wait, medium, it's full. Who's it from? All right, let's have a look here. We have Patrick. Patrick, ha! It's potentially, I've gotten a DM from someone saying that they have sent a condom filled with karm. Fuck off. And then what if it explodes when it opens up? We have to consume it. I'm scared, I don't know what you want. I'm going to open it just in your direction. Pispy is the full one. Just open it in your direction there. Can you see inside, Marko? All right, I've got it. Let's read it first. Let's read it. It's a picture of us, our P.A. box. And a brick in there, too. Yeah, you're getting so excited for drugs, Marko. Yeah, it's been a long time. It's been a long time. It's like a, all right, here we go. Because it's like an excuse to do it. Hey, Marty and Marko, love your content. Thanks for the call the other week. So if you put some light in front of it, it should light up. Yeah, I can see it better. The B, the 3D print came out a bit wonky. The Rock is called Sam. He's from Sam's garden. Holy shit, we're like a holographic. OK, so for those who can't see, it's like this plastic looking curved, like hard see-through thing. And that's a picture. You can see a picture of me and Michael on there, like our profile picture on Facebook. And wow, that's so special. I like that so much better than the whoopee question. No, the whoopee question was good. Yeah, sorry. Thank you very much, Patrick Hart. Fucking hell. That's your bloody legend, mate. Incredible. So there's a 3D print is what that is. This is this is special. I love how people send in things that we can put on the podcast. I put on the table. Like I love that. And yeah. So everyone knows I've fully got a box for everything that's been sent apart from. Yeah, we keep the herbs if we can. We've been put into our lungs, but like we I keep them all. And I'm going to one day before like I die, I'm going to look back at them and go and set fire to them. I say, I'm glad that chapter in my life's over with on to the next. No, no, I really love it. It's cool. And it's like a trip down memory lane. Isn't that right? Every time we do that, isn't that right, everyone? Isn't that right? So I could trip down bloody memory lane. And remember, I remember that one episode. Isn't that right? Why are you guys ignoring me, man? Yes, segment. The next segment have been renamed to like. Like probably like, I'm a really angry one like that. Yeah, that's what it's been renamed to Jamaica. And this is a segment where we do a prank call. OK, prank calls that you guys send in. You do to us, um, um. Stunt time. Ah, oh, fuck. How dare you? All right, you're cutting the fans short. Yeah, fuck. We nearly forgot stunt time. So that segment segment name change is also the name of this segment stunt time. So yeah. And here we are for today's stunt. Oh, we do crazy shit, man. Whoa, whoa, I'm on a roller coaster. I can't stop. Whoa, it's crazy shit. And this week we'll be super glowing our hands together for the rest of the episode. Oh, wait, that's so bad. I was just here, Marty and Michael, we're crazy. Whoa. Oh, fucking hell. Everything will be fine. Clele, Clele, Clele. Our skin will melt together. All right, Michael's putting. Clang, leg, long, big, some, long off. Let's see what happens. I was so ready to hold your hand for those watching. Michael just poured a superglue over his hands and I closed his hand. So that's an accident. It was an accident. It was an accident. I need you to help me. It's a new table. You can't fuck it up. You can't fuck it up. Clang, clang, clang, clang. Get the drops. The drill will pop in. Oh, yeah, that's shut. That's cool. Clang, clang, clang. Drops. Clang, clang, clang. Yeah, I'm hoping to hear it closer. Hey, you need to back off, man. You're coming in hot and your wheels aren't even out. They're still up. Landing gear has never been come down yet, mate. You need to back. Hey, don't want us to send you a text. That's so fucking good. The landing gear hasn't even done come out. What are we going to do with you, sir? All right, it's special Friday today. Look at that. What? Why is it special Friday? Matt, do you think that we'd come up with a new segment that we hadn't even told him about? Special Friday. Next segment has been renamed. And this is the segment. That's the best one in a long time. And this is a segment where we just do a prank call. We prank call anyone, everyone. People throw us numbers. We call, ah, your mom's dead. Just joking. You're going to have two weeks to live. Just kidding. Have a good day. Three. Three. Three. Oh, you're broken. No, you just kept missing, mate. You ran out of quarters. He kept fucking missing his job. You ran out of quarters. You kept missing it. You need three more quarters to continue playing. Oh, my pants are broken. Yeah, the prank up. Here we go. OK, fuck God, I'm getting distracted. Here we go. Three. It's so good, dude. It's changed my life. I fucking have no reason to get them all up. Hey, boys, can you prank call my mate, Ben? And then he's got his last name for the podcast. He's a plumber and he has been working on a lot on Saturdays lately. Whenever he works on the weekends, he tends to slack off on the safety side of things, like not wearing his orange high-viz shirt. Can you say some shit like you're a safety representative and you're past a domestic home he was working on and saw him working without a high-viz shirt? This fucking superglue. It sticks to you, eh? I don't know. I don't know about that, man. You've got it on. Well, that's Ben speaking. Hello, Ben, it's just Miranda here from Workplace Health and Safety. How are you today? You're not bad, mate, yourself? Yeah, not too bad. So, we've spoken with your boss, Andrew, from... And there's been reports that you've actually been not wearing your high-viz shirt on two... I've got two dates here in front of me. Is that true at all? Yeah, I probably would have been wearing a race shirt. Yeah, right. So, at the moment, they're actually really cracking down on people not wearing high-viz and there's actually infringement notices being handed out. So, unfortunately, yeah, we'll have to get you to pay the infringement notice and also, you might have to come down and just give your fingerprints because I've just got this whole new procedure and with COVID and everything. So, if you could come down and just give your fingerprints as well, that would be great. Is that a mandatory thing? Yeah, it is for everyone now, just since, I don't know, April or something this year. Yeah, it's just passed through. Yeah, right. Yeah, and the infringement notices... So, there'll be three. There's one for indecent exposure. So, it's actually deemed indecent exposure. These days, if you don't have your high-viz shirt on, even if you are wearing clothing underneath. Okay. Yeah, so that's the first one. And then the second one is, of course, the breach of safety. So, that one's up to $450 now. And again, that's just sort of gone up just because of COVID and stuff like that. Can I just mark down here? I just got to mark down. When you think you can come in to the closest office and just drop off your fingerprints and also just your... They'll have to take your mug shot and stuff as well now. Wait, when did all this happen? I've got the dates here in front of me. So, the last time you were reported to be not wearing the high-viz one second. That's the bloody computer. Let's see here. So, the first time was the 25th of July. Sorry, the last time, the 25th of July. So, what's that? That's that two. Two Saturdays ago, wasn't it? Yeah, two Saturdays ago. And then the one prior to that was on the 11th of July. So, that was then two weekends before that. And yeah, we had to speak to your boss and everything about it. You know, it's just not a good look for him and stuff like that. So, yeah. Two Saturdays ago, I wasn't even working. Well, it says here. You've been acting up on Saturday. Yeah, that's the date I've got written down here. So, whoever's put a complaint in says that you were working on the 25th. Well, I don't want to argue with you, but I've been working Saturday in about three months. Well, at the beginning of the conversation, you agreed that you haven't been wearing a high vis shirt. Okay, so please don't try and play the morally righteous card right now, okay? Because really, it's quite dangerous, to be honest. Covert to bed. No, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. It's covered around. And people always taking their bloody high vis off and then don't get seen and boom, truck bloody takes them out of some shit. You never bloody know these days. Yeah, I'm not, don't get angry with me. I'm not trying to get angry with them. I'm just saying like, they aren't that bad. I have to have passion for my job. I'm just passionate about it, you know what I mean? So I just really want... Yeah, no, it's fair enough. But look, I genuinely haven't worked Saturday in about three months, like, you know, that's what I'm saying. Like, if there's a report coming through on a Saturday, well, I haven't been working, so I don't know how that's happening. Okay, well, look, you can dispute it. Okay, you can go dispute it, but you'll have to go to the magistrates court and that's quite a lengthy process. It's about six months or something. So I'm just letting you know that those complaints they have been validated, that has happened. So yeah, those infringements, they're coming. Why are you yelling? I'm just a bit worked up at all. I'm just... My grandpa. My grandpa's... Who do you work for, sorry? My grandpa's got... I actually work for a coal miner. Okay. A coal miner? Yes, okay, you got me. This is a prank haul. Oh my God, this is Marty Mock. Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! I thought you... I thought he knew for a fucking day. Yeah, dude, I thought... I thought he knew for a fucking day. I thought he knew for a fucking day. Day dot. I thought he knew for a fucking day. Day dot. Oh! What were you picturing me as? Like a fucking... Honestly, I thought you were just some... Oh, you sound really gay, I'm sorry. Oh, that's funny as... Oh, good on you, dude. You're a fucking champion. I made my day, honestly. That's been... Yeah, you made it in, dude. He fucking... He said to try and put on a new voice. Was it Josh? Let me have a look. I think there was two mates who wrote the same fucking prank in. Yeah, he was like... Make sure you change your voice as much as possible because he'll be on the... The first one is... I thought you knew as soon as we started. All right, dude. Well, thanks for being a legend and we love you, okay? No drama's made. Don't forget to wear the hives. Yeah, put your hives on Josh. You see him, mate? Yeah, I see him. That was not bad. That was very good, dude. It gave me confidence when he was like... When I knew that he still believed that I was someone else. Yeah, he was so... At the start, I was like, Why are you yelling? I mumbled a bit and like... Fucked up a bit and then... And then I was like, Surely he knows. And then... Because he's like, G'day, mate. And then I was like, fuck. But then he didn't. I love when he was like... Yeah, why are you yelling? Yeah. Why are you yelling? I was so... I was a little bit worked up. I was wanting you to be like, Oh, my grandpa just passed away from COVID, so I'm a bit upset. Yeah, I don't know. He's gone like a real sad story. Yeah, I was gonna... Yeah, I don't know. It went weird at the end. I just came clean. Yeah, yeah. It's hard, but like, when that happens, and I know... You guys gotta realize, Matt goes to other rooms, or he's just sitting on the couch at the end cringing. Because it is cringe where you watch. Yeah, it is hard to get through. It's so hard to deal with it at the start, especially when they get real fired up. Yeah, yeah. I struggle sometimes. I fucking struggle. It's gotta push through for the life. And then I return just as like the reveal happens. Yeah. But fuck, if you had gotten to a point where like, you made him feel sorry for like, you losing a family member of like, wherever. And like, you're really down, so you're just taking your anger out on him, and see what he said to that. Oh, damn it. It could have been so... You know what, I wish I did, was just at the end, just start screaming louder and louder, and deeper and deeper. Yeah. And just guess, until I'm just screaming really deep and loud at the very end, that would have been good. Because like, why come clean when you can just fucking take it to the next level? And even if it fucks up then, it's gonna be funny. Yeah. But like, yeah, we know this. We're like, you're the fucking master, right? At least we can, you'll improve for next time. Now we know for next time. We are... The bomb-digity bitch best. Yeah! The best. The best. We're the best. There's a bottle of piss on the table. Three! Three!