 Hi everybody. My name is Kayla Passalli. I'm the grad assistant for LGBTQ Affairs here. I actually graduated from here in 2014, so it's my second year in this position. I'm going to do a safe zone training with you today. Sorry for the delay. We had a little problem with printing, but we're ready to go, so let's do it. Passing out the workshop packet right now. All you got to do with this is read through the front and inside the bottom. It's not being collected. It's just for your own use. Kayla and I had the teacher experience today of sending these packets to be copied and at 3.30 found out that the coffee center wasn't going to happen for us. So as teachers, we did the tap dance and she emailed it to me. We did it a little differently, but I think it's always fun and interesting to point out that not everything goes perfectly regardless of how long you've been working with groups or the classroom. Keep all the lights on. Can everybody see pretty well? Yeah, we're good. Basically what we're going to do here is everyone sign the front? So once we're outside with that, just look to the second page and we're going to go over the rules and stuff. Not really, but we'll just go over guidelines to go over. Pretty standard. Alright, number one. The goal is to educate and improve the need for respective quality and support for the LGBTQ community. This workshop is a safe space and we invite all questions. There's no stupid questions in this room, so you can ask me whatever you want. On top of that, discussing feelings is really important. So whatever is said in this room, please maintain confidentiality with your peers. We don't seek to speak for all LGBTQ people. It's very broad spectrums of identities and things. We're just going to try to show you some common trends, but these don't always apply to everyone that you meet. Just keep that in mind. And unlike any other workshops that you might go through, we're not going to go through every single thing in the packet. That's more for you to use outside of the workshop for additional understanding. Does anyone have any other ground rules they want to add before the workshop starts? Alright, great. Then you can flip to the page three. The cycle of oppression. Alright. So this is just basically an outline of how oppression works and it doesn't have to just be queer identities. It can be race. It can be gender. It can be socioeconomic class. Anything like that. So this kind of cycle is what informs all sorts of stereotypes and forms of oppression. So with that, anyone want to tell me what a stereotype is in your own words? I know it's in the packet, so. Yeah, totally. So it's a generalization. It can be either positive or negative, but stereotypes, even though they're not considered positive or negative, like a positive stereotype would be like, oh, you're so tall, you must be good at basketball. That's a stereotype, but it's not really a negative one. So just keep that in mind. They don't all have to be negative. But stereotypes are what inform prejudices. So when they are negative, they inform our prejudices, which is a negative belief about a whole group of people instead of just that one person. And those can be unconscious or consciously. So when you combine prejudice with influence, you have discrimination. Who wants to tell me what discrimination is? I'm alone, people. Wake up, wake up. Confidentially, even if you say the wrong thing. Doesn't matter. So what if you're like, so I'm not going to play with you because you're black. That's discrimination, right? Yeah, that's a form of prejudicing discrimination. Yeah, totally. Like you're discriminating. You won't do something because of their stereotype. Yeah, that's right. Good job. Anyone else want to add to that? So how do we get to oppression from discrimination? What's the difference? Power. Power. Sorry. It's okay. Power. Yeah. You guys can just like, it's a workshop, so I don't have to call in. What else? Difference between discrimination and oppression. There's one really important word. Systematic. Oppression is systematic. Discrimination can apply to individuals, specific groups of people, but oppression is you're oppressing a whole entire group of people. So oppression would be like systematically oppressing black, systematically oppressing LGBTQ, systematically oppressing trans people. It's all, it's a, it's an institution, right? Who knows what... So the woman who wouldn't marry people in her community would that be a form of using stereotype to oppress a person? That is a form of oppression because she's using her power in her position to deny that right. Yeah, totally. All right, going off of that. Who knows what an internalized oppression is? I just read it, but going off. To my onwards, more like a self-proclaimed problem state, like if you hear something too many times, you're like, you start to believe it. Yeah, exactly. So people will hear stereotypes of or about themselves or the identity group that they're a part of, and they'll start to internalize that once they hear it over and over, they might start to buy into that stereotype. So that's why we go right back to stereotype because people who hear these stereotypes might start to actually perpetuate them. Does anybody have questions on the cycle of oppression before we move on? There we go. All right, so if you flip to the next page, actually the next couple pages, you're going to see a bunch of definitions here. So this is the part, it's the only part I'm going to ask you to do some reading. I'm going to give you like 5 to 10 minutes to read through some definitions here, and then we're going to just mark down any definitions that you struggle with. You want to make changes to. You want to comment on the clarification. And then once you go through that, we're going to come back together and we're going to talk through those definitions just so we're all kind of on the same page for the rest of the workshop. Flip back to page 4 then. Under the section that says Biological Sex Related Terms. Anybody who aren't going to go down into the stairs? No? Everybody knows, yeah. Medically unacceptable. Medically unacceptable, yeah. So for intersex people in the United States, what happens when somebody is born intersex? They don't allow them to live that way. For doctors, they don't have a classification for people like that. They classify them as being born intersex, but something needs to be done about it. They can't live that way. So actually a law was recently proposed to stop doing this, but now these children are having surgeries that will put them in one gender box or the other one, and that's ultimately up to the doctors and the parents of who they are going to be raised as. But that's why it's written as Medically Unacceptable because they don't allow you to live that way. Any other questions on intersex? So now children who are born transgender, no, no. Now they're born intersex weight to have surgery done? They're trying to pass, yeah. They're trying to pass the law saying that too many of these kids are being raised in the gender identity that's not their correct one, and so they end up being translated in life. So they're saying that instead of giving these intervention surgeries, because being intersex doesn't really affect your life at all. You can live totally normal life being intersex. So they're saying that these surgeries are not medically necessary and that they should stop doing them until there's another question over here somewhere. Okay, cool. Does anybody know why we don't use the term hermaphrodite anymore? Isn't it seen as derogatory for a lot of people of that group? It is. Do you know why? I learn about human sexuality, but I just know that it was derogatory and it makes them be like down on themselves who they are. Yeah, so hermaphrodite in biology is actually an organism that can reproduce on its own. So it would be able to possess both male and female sex characteristics and it would be able to capitalize on that and actually reduce itself. So intersex people do not have that. They're more of either blended appearance in genitals or a hormonal thing, so anyone can really be intersex and not even know it. Who has their chromosome tested, right? Like most people don't. So they say that the documented percentage of people that are intersex is 0.02. But it's actually to be more like 2% of the population is intersex. There's that. Is everyone good on intersex? All right. Gender identity terms. What do we have marked on there? Gender and transsexuality. So there's two answers to that really. Transgender can be used as an umbrella term for anybody that's kind of like not on the binary spectrum or it can be used as somebody that actually transitions their gender to a certain degree. Transsexual is only used for people who do medical interventions to transition their gender. But that's very much like a personal claim term. So transsexual really shouldn't be used in any context unless somebody says that they identify as transsexual. It's kind of like moving out towards the outdated. Yep. What's the difference between gender, queer, and two-spirit? Those are really good questions. So if you see gender, queer, non-binary, and A gender, those three definitions are really similar. I'm sure all of you noted that. Those are three words that can kind of be used interchangeably and people can just kind of choose the identity they want to go with. Two-spirit is actually different in that it's for Native Americans only in certain tribes and they're actually intersex, queer, or transgender people who live in sort of a balance of masculine and feminine characteristics and they're really highly respected in their communities. So instead of where we look at intersex people as unacceptable and we have to correct that, they actually like worship that. So that's the term in their culture for intersex or LGBTQ people. That FTM is like a female. If females found a male to female, are those like under-transsexual and transgender? Yeah, so transsexuals are going to have a lot of those types. But basically the thing to remember about all these terms is that they're all self-identifiers. So anybody that anybody can really claim any identity, but somebody who is trans MTF say, might choose to identify as MTF. They might choose to identify as a trans woman. They might choose to identify as just a woman and not a trans woman. So these are all like totally based on the person that's claiming this identity. What about gender expression? Somebody telling the difference between gender identity and gender expression? Gender identity being how one identifies oneself. So you want to come off that? I was going to say gender identity is how they identify themselves, but they might not. Yeah, so it's closer. Like the way they wear. Exactly. So gender identity is the way that you self-identify, the way that you feel in your head that your identity is. Gender expression is how you can get back to the world. So it's the way you dress, your mannerisms, the way you talk. It can be all sorts of things. That's all factors of gender expression. If anybody marked any terms down in that section that I do want to point out at the bottom is the difference between passing and stealth. Because the definitions can sometimes get confusing. People see them and they're like, I don't get what the difference is. The difference is actually that stealth is an interim term. It shouldn't be used by anybody that's not part of the trans community. That's for trans people only to be saying to each other. They're like, oh, you look really stealth today. That means that you're passing really well as a cisgender person. Everyone knows what cisgender means? Yes, okay. Whereas passing is like you can be saying that about somebody else. You're like, oh, they're really passing today. So that's the only one I really want to point out there. What about under sexual orientation? How do we feel about using the word queer? A lot of people shy away from that word. But it's really being reclaimed especially in younger generations if you're going to be teaching younger kids. It's really important to note that queer is the up and coming word now. Instead of using gay, instead of using lesbian, instead of using LGBTQ the long acronym that never ends you can just say queer and it's okay. It's okay to use that word. Just so everybody knows that you can fill that in. It's really just like a word to replace the long acronym so that you're including everyone. It's a more inclusive way of saying I'll use it. Any questions there? Historic and cultural, those are all pretty self-explanatory. We don't usually go through them because we go through other important parts of it later in the workshop. Okay, we'll go back a little bit. Go for it. A lot of us thought that queer was like the word you shouldn't use. But it is a word you can use. Alright, so here's something I should clarify. People in the community like I just talked about passing in stealth that are in-group terms and out-group terms. So if you're not in the queer community you're out-group, right? Queer can be used by out-group as an umbrella term like I just said to refer to the LGBTQ community. It can also be used for anyone that identifies as queer. You're not going to offend them by calling them queer. But you are going to offend them if you call them queer in a derogatory way which I'm sure many people do intentionally. But words like that, bag, dyke, queer those are all words that have been re-queened over time, so they were previously derogatory. Bagging dyke are a little bit harder than queer just because people do self-identify with them and there are students here that use those words to identify themselves but they probably wouldn't want other people calling them that. So yeah, queer is one that's a little bit more of a gray area it's like this is a term that's being accepted as an umbrella. But yeah, there aren't really any more like that. Any other questions? Can we move on? Alright, flip over your page to number 8. We're going to go with the people with gender from Unicorn. Has anybody been through a safe zone training before, previously? Not this one? Any other one? Just one? Okay. Are you familiar with the gender-bred model? No. So I'm going to put up a visual here real quick because we're all big on spectrums right now, right? We're trying to get away from the binary, we're going with spectrums, right? Everybody kind of recognizes that trend. So say we have male on this side and we have female on this side. What's in the middle? I'm showing you the gender-bred model right now and why it doesn't work. This is the model just in each. What if I do it like this? Another spectrum, and what if we have so say like you put yourself here. Why does that not work very well? What is this model leaving out? Leaving out a lot, right? Yeah, so let's take a look at this because safe zone you see is a binary spectrum of for gender, they use male to female and they put intersex in the middle. That's not correct. Intersex people are not like meshing of males and females. They're like, yeah. Getting straight doesn't work either because if you put bi in the middle I mean it's like you have three things you can't really fluctuate. So the way that we're going instead is we're using the gender unicorn. I think like this is one of the first safe zone workshops to go to this model anyway. Most people are still using the gender-bred but I can't stand it. So we have our gender unicorn here. They are, we don't use pay pronouns on them because we don't know what gender they identify with. So if you look at the thought bubble at the top, it's the rainbow. Rainbow corresponds to gender identity. What do we see when we look at this scale? Exactly. So what does that eliminate from that? Over there. What problems is there? Exactly. Gender identity is a particularly problematic because you have, say you have like masculine and you have feminine and you have androgynous women. If you put yourself like here, that's saying you're like mostly masculine but you can't be here at all, right? This takes that away. Gender identity, if you're in this like zero here that means you don't identify with that trait at all. If you're on this side that's like, yeah, totally that. Right? We have this email line at the top. Mail line and other genders would be trans, non-binary, genderqueer, any sort of expression like that. Gender expression presentation as we talked about is how you project your gender to somebody else. Feminine, masculine or other. That would be, other would be your non-binary, trans status, androgynous, whatever. Sex assigned at birth. Why am I saying sex assigned at birth instead of biological sex? Maybe. This is a new trend in the trans community that we're trying to get away from saying biological sex and we're moving to sex assigned at birth. Why do you think that is? Is it because like some doctors can like take someone and they really can't? Well, that would be intersex, but not really. Oh, never mind. Yeah, we have intersex identity biological too. Your gender identity biological too? Gender identity is not biological, no. Sex assigned at birth is actually so when you say biological sex you're implying that something is fixed. Can't be changed, can't be modified, it's your biology, it's biological, you can't change it. Sex assigned at birth for trans people this is really important because they say I was assigned this at birth but I am no longer this. Does that make sense? So you're validating that previously this was their biological identity but it is no longer because they might have had hormone replacement, they might not remotely resemble what they were assigned at birth so that's why we're trying to stick to that. And that one's just email, mail or other. And then another thing that gender unicorn does instead of gender-bred is it separates sexual attraction and romantic attraction which is really important because somebody could be sexually attracted to women but romantically attracted to men too and it happens. So fill this out real quick this is just an example if anyone wants to take a stab at who this unicorn is tell me about them. How are they born, how do they identify, how do they express, it's hard right? That's why I say you pack it so you can actually take some time with this because if you fill it out for yourself it becomes a little bit more clear. Okay if you're wrong. Oh you don't have to do it right now this is totally just for your use so if you want to fill it out for yourself you can. Oh no I'm saying we can figure this out now but if you want to use this to fill out your own so that you can familiarize yourself with it. But we're going to work through this one. Okay so this is a guess would it be a trans woman who is sexually attracted to women but romantically attracted to kind of everyone? You're like pretty on the right track so this person or this unicorn was born male now their gender identity is female not at all male not at all but they do identify with their trans status a little bit so they're not saying I want to be perceived as female all the time they don't care if you know that trans is basically what that means some people do gender expression mostly feminine but they can have some masculine traits right all of us have masculine and feminine traits so that makes sense sex assignment very weather and then sexual attraction mostly women sometimes men but they're also attracted to trans non-binary people and same with romantic attraction so you see why this is a little bit better than having these binary spectrums because since we're trying to break the binary this is still binary so that doesn't really help but yeah like I said this is in your packet so definitely spend some time going through this and it will get easier to understand it's a lot at first does anybody have questions on the gender unicorn yes what's the romantically and emotionally attracted to like is it just like I'm trying to figure out like is it more like a friend like relationship with others you know so like if you think of say asexual people right asexual people contrary to some popular beliefs actually do can experience romantic attraction to people just as anybody would in a romantic relationship they're just not interested in sexual okay so like it's basically the same thing there any other questions we're going into trans 101 so I actually did add an age to the packet so this will be my first group that I'm teaching you to not this one but the next one but we're going to start here so the trans umbrella I write trans with an asterisk at the top because that means that you're using trans an umbrella term and not to identify somebody who is necessarily transitioning right so with that under the umbrella can be any of these identities genderqueer, agender MTF, STM, doradic queens sometimes will say that they're in the trans community, not always what I want to note about this is that say somebody is using genderqueer as their personal identity they're genderqueer you don't want to necessarily assume that they identify with being trans so that's like I said like everything else it's just a self identifier but if you are trying to be inclusive and write trans and talk about a larger group of people use the asterisk we're going to go a little bit more into this but does anyone have questions on that this is actually the new slide that I added for workshop I feel like maybe we didn't have enough about trans people in here and being people don't always understand and I feel like this is where people have a lot of questions am I right like trans is something that people have a lot of questions about sometimes and they don't necessarily have places to ask them so this is your chance to ask your questions but what I tried to do here was go through what trans people might be experiencing if you have a trans student in your class in the future you might want to know kind of where they're at in their journey so I broke this down into a few different categories medical, legal and social and what we have under medical is we have psychotherapy and visiting an endocrinologist which are both requirements for transitioning under legal we have gender marker changes on legal documents so that would be saying your driver's license originally said male you want to change to say female that's legal social changes in gender expression as we talked about you might change your hair, your clothes mannerisms changing your pronouns which we're going to talk about in a little bit choosing a new name and then between social and legal we have name change on legal documents because that is a thing you can adopt a new name and use it as we're just trying to pass the preferred name policy here it won't require you to have a legal name change but you'll be able to use on your university documents the preferred name that you choose which is really great but that is a legal change and then between medical and legal hormone replacements that is a legal thing you have to be signed off to do that and same with so that's just kind of the overview of transitioning what I do want to mention here is that anybody who is trans might do one of these things, they might do all these things, might do half these things everybody's journey is different and sometimes people don't want everything so keep that in mind but anyone have any questions on the process of transitioning alright so the way that works is the diagnosis against the statistical manual of mental disorders in DSM previously had actually had homosexuality and then I was taken out in 1986 I believe and then it now still does have being trans as a mental disorder it's listed like that because in order to bill insurance you have to have a medical diagnosis so that's the only reason that it's still left in there but it is a medical diagnosis called gender dysphoria did that answer your question any other questions around that awesome alright let's move into pronouns so why are pronouns really important just in general what do they do for us so people are identified and gendered every day by their pronouns you're talking about someone and you're like oh he did this she did that pronouns are really really important and especially for trans people and non-binary people or trans people who are switching their pronouns and people aren't necessarily understanding that and they're using the wrong ones that's misgendering in a form of outing which is dangerous for some trans people and for people that are non-binary and don't necessarily identify with being female or male they might want to use gender inclusive pronouns which we're trying to encourage all across campus just because we do have many many more students each year coming that are identifying with gender inclusive pronouns so but especially you're going to be seeing this in younger ages high schools especially I don't know what age group are you well it's going to be teaching high school perfect most of you it's like a mixture okay pronouns are going to be pretty important for that so we have he, she this just kind of shows you in the context that you would use it so you can use this to kind of figure out the way that you're going to use the pronoun they is a pretty good gender inclusive pronoun just because it's not specified and you can use it to pretty much refer to anyone that you're not really sure what their pronouns are people aren't going to be offended if you use the big pronoun for them Z is a little bit different because Z is a pronoun that it's a specified one so someone has to claim that as their own pronoun you can't just be like oh Z did this Z did that because that's it's like using he or she but that person has to claim that identity Z is a safer bet if you want to know what gender inclusive pronouns you use in the classroom maybe but if you do have Z it's probably the top pronoun under they so here's the pronunciations for that for you but what I wanted to do I have two activities for you not really activities that will kind of help you in your classrooms but the first one that's not is just pair up with the person next to you and form a few sentences using gender inclusive pronouns and then we'll come back together and we'll share them and then I have like an activity for you class is it up to the student to come to the teacher and to identify that they want the Z pronoun we're going to be implementing that in the preferred name I'll talk about that in a second because you know teacher may sense to say it's not true you have to you have to you have to so so he says I actually have I actually have an artist that I like but she doesn't have a sense of that that's the first thing anybody can ask for he can talk about he says well I've lived in Arkansas for a while and then we did our training I said well I was someone from Arkansas and then was your family in the military that you were in Arkansas or was it in the states or in the states and so were you in the states or were you in the states and so you know I'm making out yeah well that's maybe they were able to marry in Arkansas And then his teacher made him go finish his works, but he didn't get the cost. He was just so ready to tell them. What's the difference between the two? It's pronounced here instead of her. I mean, I don't think it's here, so. She doesn't look like that. She looks like hers, but it's all hers. You got it. Alright, who wants to share their sentences? Volunteer for the first one? Don't make me take that. He or she went to the store? See, it's that simple. Who wants to do the other one? Be a little more complicated one. Where'd he go? There's. Oh, there's. What context, like, what are you saying? Like a group of people. Oh, this is only one person. Yeah, we're talking about one person. So you're using they to replace, like, he or she. So, like, think of a sentence that you would use he or she in, and then replace it with them. Okay. Like, they have a whole word they forgot to pass in? Exactly. Easy. They are good readers. They are good readers. They are good readers. They are good readers. They are good readers. Okay. Alright. So what I want to talk about with pronouns is how you implement them in your classrooms, give students a chance to kind of, to say what their pronouns are. You know, because that's important, and there's no way you're going to know that off the top of your head. Because even people that present as a certain gender, that you might be like, oh, that's a very feminine person. They might use gender-requisite pronouns. So you just don't know. So what we want to do is we want to try to open up opportunities for people to disclose their pronouns to us. So the way I do it is if I ever have a student in my office, I'm just like, hey, I'm paying a lot of my pronouns or she or hers. It's that simple. And then they're allowed to say theirs. It's like an open invitation. But when you're in a classroom, a people is a little bit difficult. So, but it's also important because you don't want to out the student by misgendering them by accident. So in the long run, it will help you out. What do you think are some techniques you can use in a classroom to do this? And this will be different between like the ages. If you're secondary ed, if you're elementary ed, elementary ed, it might not apply as much just because this is a little bit more rare at that age. But middle school and high school, for sure. Anyone have a question? I didn't have any ideas, creative ideas, how you might open up that floor. Yeah. Would you be able to, I don't know if this would be too much or I don't know, maybe are we sharing it with the entire class or is it more personal to do it? If you could find a way to allow the whole class to share their pronouns with each other or if it's more like you're passing out something and you say, can you take, like, write your pronouns on the card when you write this stuff? Maybe, like, depending on the age level of the students, you could have them write, like, a personal short story in the third person about themselves. That's creative. That is really creative. Actually, I've never heard one like that. Makes sense for my sense. That's good. Anybody else? Thank you for that. Yeah. Well, this is more, like, small things, but I went to Unity today and they had, like, write down your preferred pronouns, so it's a simple way to do it and, like, it doesn't point anyone out. Like, it's just a way to get over it. Yeah. No, totally. Any pronouns, or any programs that we do out of the Intercultural Center, we're very intentional about making sure people are disclosing their pronouns. And any events on campus, I don't know if any of you are, like, student leaders or anything that organizes events, but definitely think about that. If you're distributing name tags to people in the classroom, or if it's, like, your syllabus, but they don't call it Syllabus Week, like, if you're younger. But, you know, whatever, like, that introduction would be fine ways to kind of offer up the chance for students to say that. Yeah. But if the student isn't, like, out, then what they just do is, like, or if they see all their classmates being, like, you know, the first one. Well, excuse me. If the student isn't out, they're probably not using a different pronoun, because pronouns are part of gender expression. So that's part of the way that we're expressing our gender to people. So that would come after you've already decided that you're out as a student. So if you're not, like, out as a non-binary person, you're probably going to stick to your issue from now. What was your other... You had a second part to that? I think you did. For other kids. Oh, for other kids. Yeah. So another way that you might do that is if you're concerned about that. If you're concerned that there's, like, maybe one kid in your class that's non-binary or trans and everyone else is cisgender, then instead of doing that, you might want to do something like... Probably had classes here that professors will distribute, like, an index card and they'll be like, fill out your name and your hometown and your major. I would just say, hey, but your pronoun's on here, too. And that way everybody is putting their pronoun and you're aware of it. But being more creative about how other students won't get that information is the problem there. It's, like, a little bit different. I don't have all the answers for that. I don't. You're meant to be creative as teachers. Figure that out. But it's definitely important. Because I'm just thinking about from all the years that I taught language arts and when you teach pronouns and when students write and things like that, that's a whole new way to wrap your head around the use of written language. It's very hard for academics, especially with the they, just because it's used to refer to groups of people who write on an individual. So it's not necessarily grammatically correct. Academics do have a lot of trouble with that. But actually, if you're thinking about that, the first person to actually use gender-inclusive pronouns was Shakespeare. He actually had gender neutral characters in his plays and he used gender-inclusive pronouns for them. So if you're worried about the grammatically correct, here you go. I hope that I went to Germany so I know German well. And what they do is the capital Z, S-I-E, refers to people you don't like. That's how you refer to a teacher because you're not friends with them so you have to refer to them as Z. But it also means they and groups of people. Yeah, totally. This is very much an English language thing. A lot of other languages will have either a third gender or a way to differentiate that. But also, that you mentioned Germany, they just passed a law that instead of when babies are born for birth certificate, they actually passed a law that you can have a third gender. That's not male or female. So Germany's pretty ahead of us in terms of this kind of stuff. But yeah, yeah. Stop talking so much. As your future English teacher, how do we get around the whole grammatically incorrect words I'm not an English teacher this time. Or it's just like they, groups of people, but it's also a gender boost thing which is thrown in there. Yeah, I mean, with this up and coming, by the time that you're teaching, it should be a little bit more standard. It's not going to be standard by any means, but it should be a little bit more to the point that if you're teaching pronouns, you can teach them as you would normally, but just be like, just as a side note, they can also be used as, you know, a gender boost pronoun if they're not already being used in their pronouns. Yeah. Any other questions, pronouns? I didn't want to say presenting this and the people that just are living with this. Yes. And so then you had a lot of questions like, what are you talking about? I did, last spring, I did my first open faculty workshop and that's why I was saying, academics have a problem with this. It was not a fun room to be standing in front of, but that aside, yeah. Just keep that in mind. Yeah, that's basically, it's more than grammatically correct thing than people being like, they don't know it exists, but some people don't know. Some people really are just like, this is a thing that's going on. So yeah, presenting is a great thing. I think it was 6th grade or something. Younger kids, this is a lot less frequent among younger kids. Trans kids is coming up in the media and now that we've had a lot more cases and people are like, what do we do about this? We don't know how to handle these kids and get them the help that they need. But kids that age are not going to understand, are not going to be already aware of pronoun differences unless they have somebody close to them that uses that properly. High school days. I mean, if you had a kid in the class, I would definitely address it. Otherwise, I would say probably middle school, like, later middle school of age, probably would be when it gets... High school students should already be starting to learn about it. It's a little bit, we usually skip over it just because it's kind of a little bit self-explanatory, I guess, but anybody tell me the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality? Because the bisexual is someone attracted to both males and females while pansexual is attracted to them. Yeah, not anything, anyone. Men, women, trans people, non-binary people, that would follow your pansexual. Bisexual is more like, binary genders. So that's really the difference there, but we call that the invisible identities because if you see somebody that's like, you see a guy walking down the street holding hands with a woman and you're like, oh, look at that straight couple. You see a guy walking down the street holding hands with a guy and you're like, oh, look at that gay couple. In reality, either one of them could be bi or pan. You just don't know. So that's why we call them the invisible identities, so it's important to be aware of that and not jump to assumptions. That's basically the only thing we touch on in that section, unless anybody really has further questions about it. All right? So this section requires some participation, but we're going to talk a little bit about how we've grown up and where we've come to understand people. So, first question. When and how did you come to know that all people were not straight or cisgender? Some people have really exciting stories about this, whether it was this really big off-off moment for them, and other people are just like, I had a gay awful life. Anyone want to share? I have an aunt that's lesbian, so growing up, she wasn't dating anybody. And I don't know, I was like 10, and then she started dating someone. I was like, oh, this is different, but it was normal because she's my family. So, I mean, the bottom question is, was there a positive or negative or neutral experience for you that was more a positive neutral kind of thing? Yeah, totally. Thank you. Anyone else? My friend told me she was bisexual when we were like 10. And I had no idea what that meant. Wow. But, yeah. But she had never done anything about it. So, she kind of went to me to... I was like the first person she could imagine. So, and I guess it was positive, because it made us closer. Yeah, that's how I figured it out. I just like looked it up. Yeah, 10 years old, especially for bi. Yeah. That's interesting. Anyone else? What about how did you realize not all people were cisgender? I formed your early understanding or knowledge about LGBTQ people. Did you see the Ellen show? Did you, like I said, have a gay family member? Where did your early understanding come from? Yeah. Well, there used to be on, like, people like a lesbian gay channel. And I was very young, and I was like, oh, what is this? And I started watching it, and I was like, what is this? Girls could sing. And then my mom explained it to me, and then that was kind of, I remember, I remember that. And then I, I don't know, I feel like it was kind of just, like, a normal encounter. I don't know, it wasn't something. It was media that came from, and it was, like, positive control. Yeah. That's a strange experience. All right. Yeah. Well, it wasn't, like, my first experience, but you talked about logo TV. I watched that. Yes, logo. It was one of my favorite shows, and Willow Willow was lesbian. And then when, like, that show got canceled, it went on to logo TV. So I felt like I was watching it, and then I used to get a sense of that, like, drag. Pals. Yep. I was going to say nobody said RuPaul. Nothing. Nothing. All right. Okay. Anyone have any other comments about this section? This is just kind of to examine your own beliefs and where you kind of, people that were raised religious, this is a big section for them sometimes, where they're like, oh, my church was totally against it, or my parents are very religious, and they were against it, so that's how I kind of, that's, that was my story, at least. My mom is pretty religious. I grew up in a very closed-minded town, and I thought, people were weird in the beginning now, so. I mean, that's fun. So. All right. So we're going to deal with the popular stereotypes, just because we already talked about why the violence is in the DSM still. And we're going to go into an active year. Favorite or most important, so you're going to, you have numbers one through five on your page. First number, please write down your favorite person that is not a family member. That's gay. No. I get your favorite of the time. Sorry. Sorry. It can be a pet if you want it. That might go on your family. It's one of your favorite family member or relatives. Oh, I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. If you need to write two, it's okay. This is all for you. I'm not collecting it. It's just, it's your own thing. Okay. Put as many people as you want. It doesn't help. If you just write my family, if you like. That's what we're selling. We appreciate it. That's what you're referring to. Dogs don't count. Next one is your favorite hobby or interest? Your favorite material possession? And your job? Could be your dream job? Maybe a teacher? All right, are we ready to go? Everyone's got their five things written. Okay, great. What we're going to do now is I'm actually going to read you a story. You're going to close your eyes and put yourself in the shoes of a date person. Everybody do that? All right, great. So when you're ready, close your eyes, relax, and then take your little story. You're a young boy, and you're hanging out with that number one person on your list. You're watching cartoons, and you say that you love Batman. Your number one person asks you what you mean by that. You try to explain that you really love Batman, and your friend calls you a fag and tells you you can't hang out with you anymore. Cross that person off your list. You can open your eyes of course. Cross that person off your list. Yes, cross that person off your list. And then we'll drive you back to your home. You're in high school now, and you're still having these feelings of being attracted to someone of the same sex. It hasn't gone well when you've admitted this to other people, but you realize that this really is a part of you. You decide to tell that number two person on your list how you're feeling. So you sit down with that number two person, and you tell them how you feel. They say that they love you, but they don't agree with that lifestyle, and they don't want you around the family anymore. Cross that person off your list. Close your eyes here. A little further down the road, you're in college now, and life has gotten a little better. You've found community of people to hang out with who support and care for you. They accept you for who you are. One day you see a sign for a student organization meeting for that number three thing on your list. You decide to check it out and go to a meeting. Afterwards, the president comes up to you and introduces himself. You start talking, and he asks if he saw you helping out with pride to become a campus recently. You say yes, and you describe the event that you were involved with. He tells you that he respects your right to do what you want, but that members of the group wouldn't feel comfortable around you, and asks you not to come back. Cross number three off your list. If you leave the meeting, you come back to your room to find died faggot has been written on your door and your room has been broken into. That number four thing has been destroyed. Cross that off your list. Finally, later in life, you've found your ideal job, and life is good. You're at work one day, and you have a picture of your partner and child on your desk. Your boss walks by and asks about them. You tell them who they are, and she says, great, and goes on her way. Next morning, you get called to a meeting where your boss tells you that the company's downsizing and they'll have to let you go. Cross that off your list. Alright, so take a look at your pages. You have minds through all these important things in your life. How did that act to me feel for you? Sad. Sad things. Sad things. Disgrudging. Disgrudging. You want to give up? Yeah. So this is a real, this is a very real thing for some people in the community that they might have to deal with one, two, or all of these things. Some people are lucky enough to deal with none of them, but it's all a very personal journey. So just keep that in mind when you meet people that any number of these things may have happened to them. And that was what this activity was meant for you to do, was kind of put yourself in that situation and see these things. You can't have them anymore. They're gone. Just because of who you are, you can't have them anymore. So that was that. How might this impact students on campus or students that you might teach, maybe? Especially high school students? Yeah. Well, especially if like number two, like their mom or dad keeps them out of the house. Like, you know, I just want to give up, like not care about school, but you just stop going, stop doing homework. Sure. I remember really just all around here. Yeah. Especially for students that you guys will be teaching, the family support is going to be one of the biggest ones, just because if you do lose that at that age, that's a very difficult thing to come back from. So keep that in mind. Any of your students, you might have students come out to you. We're going to talk about coming out process, things like that. But keep that in mind. All right. Going into coming out, we like to make it known that coming out when we think of it, we think of it as like this one time deal where like somebody is like, oh, hey, I'm gay and that's it. And then you're like, oh great, this person came out. But that's not it. Coming out is actually not a one time thing. It's actually an everyday thing. For queer people, trans people, anytime they need someone new, anytime they take a new job, anytime they move to a new area, you have to determine if that place or that person is safe for you to be out to. And some places are, and some places are. But it's just really important to remember that just because somebody has come out once or is out to a certain group of people, doesn't mean that they're coming out. So this is very much something that they're going to be dealing with for the rest of their life probably. They're going to be coming out to people. So that's important to keep in mind. Here's preventing people from coming out. What do you think people, why do people stay positive? Because all that stuff that you just talked about. Yeah, that's what you're going to say? Yeah. What else? You're being accepted. Sure, you're being accepted. You're of violence. Maybe? Yeah. I guess you're being stereotyped. Stereotype, sure. Yeah. Disappointing people. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. All those things apply. So when people are coming out, they might feel pretty scared. They might feel pretty vulnerable. They might be sad, or they might be really proud of it. They might be excited. It all depends on the person that you're dealing with and where they're at in their stage. Their stage of coming out. But ultimately, what people are looking for if they come to you to come out, what do you think they might be looking for? Someone picks you. They want to come out to you. Yeah. So they're like, acceptance even if you're... Yeah. And how does that take work? How does acceptance... How can you project that you accept them? Well, much of that does for what you're going through, but I accept you for who you are. Okay. Yeah. Anybody else? After that? Yeah. They're not treating them differently like you already have them. That's what I was getting at, is no change in the relationship after. So basically it's like, you know the person before, you know the person now, you just have more information about them than you had before. Shouldn't change your relationship with them, and I think that's ultimately what most people are looking for from you. Any questions on that? In your packet? Yeah. But doesn't it change a little bit in the sense that if you want to learn more about it? Yeah, totally. I think I would make that known to the person. So I would say, I don't really know a whole lot, but if you want to help me understand where you're at, if you want to help me understand your journey, yeah, totally. I was just going to say in your packet, there's some good questions to ask. Ask people. And ways that you can ask them. For example, be inclusive about what you say. Use the identity that they give you. Use the specific identity. So if they tell you that they're a lesbian, don't say, well, when did you know you were gay? Because some people like, identities are very important and they're very personal, so make sure that you're acknowledging that that's the identity that they give you. Anything else? The past model of identity development is the next one in your packet. You don't usually go through it in the presentation, but I do want to note that this is going to be something that's pretty useful to you if you do have a student that's maybe a little bit younger. This is kind of how somebody comes into their identity, the kind of basic process of what they might be going through. So if you know somebody that is coming out or in the coming out process or experimenting, you can kind of gauge where they're at in this process and what they might need from you. So that's something pretty cool to kind of look at if you have some time. Now we're going to go into privilege. Who knows what privilege is? Doesn't have to be like any sort of privilege as far as privilege. Yep. Something you have to make your life easier? Sure. How do you get privileged? From other people? From other people? Are we born with privilege? Are people in general born into privilege? Is that what I was asking? Yes, generally. Okay. So going off of that, we have heterosexual privilege because heterosexual is the majority in society. So anything that's not the majority is typically not looked at as a privileged identity. There's a lot of privileged instances listed in here but some of the ones that I like to point out is because people don't usually have to think about these day to day, but once you know the things that might be privileged to them, you're like, oh wow, I didn't realize that was a privilege that I had. I thought just thought that was something that I, you know, deal with. So a few of these living with your partner and doing so openly without fear of safety, that's one, pay me from employment while grieving the death of your spouse. That's something that's not guaranteed by all businesses at all. So if you're in a marriage situation with someone of the same sex, you're not necessarily guaranteed pay me if they die. Which is sad. Immediate access to your significant other or children in case of an accident or emergency. Hospitals will deny you visitation rights if you're not a biological family, especially if your child is second parent adopted. Depends on the the state that you're in. Legal and valid marriage, that one that is actually outdated because you're married now, which is exciting. Belonging to the religious denomination of your choice and knowing your sexuality will not be denounced by religious leaders. Anyone else have? Yeah. Even though same-sex marriages now are not those knowledgeable, why are the property allows and why do those things come with? You know what else didn't come with it? Being loved and divorced. So, yeah, weird, right? It's a whole separate law. So there is actually actually a friend who was married in the state of Maryland to someone of the same sex. After three years they decided to break off their relationship, so they went to file for divorce and they said, sorry, can't get divorced. It's not legal in this state. So, they're now dating other people but they're legally married. And it's just, it's by law there's nothing that they can do about it. It's a whole separate law that needs to be passed. So a lot of states you can, a lot of states you can. So that's just something How's that? Can you tie to someone you don't like? Any other comments? Things that surprise you on this list? Wait, you can't raise adopters, teach children without people. But you can adopt children. In some states, yeah. But not in all states. Actually all the state laws are listed for you in the There it is. They're all state. So the big thing with this report, really on gay marriage is that it's federal. So it's all countries and that's why the community is in such a good deal because they're saying this is a federal law. You can't be, you know, denied because you're religious right. But yeah, adoption are all state laws. Divorces all state laws. Public housing discrimination all state laws. So, yeah, federal was only for marriage. It's not for anything else. Right now, pretty much. All right. There's the next stage is cisgender privilege which is pretty much, you know, the same kind of deal here. Can you be reasonably sure whether to check the MRF box on the gender form? That's a huge one. Especially for students applying to Roger Williams University when they only have an MRF box on our application. The law school actually doesn't. They offer a third area and we're trying to get that with the preferred name policy which I'm going to talk about in a moment because I keep forgetting to. Yeah, so that's one big one. When you're looking at a form to fill out and you're like, oh, what do I do? That's the big thing that people feel. Our uncontrollable parts are our identity to find as mental illness. So if you are trans and you are seeking treatment you do have a documented mental illness in the eyes of the law. What else? What might come up? What might come up for you if you're not cisgender based on this? What surprises you? You're like, oh, I never really had anything like that. A lot of things. What about like, you have to go to the bathroom? That's what I see. So that's why we're trying. We have 29 gender neutral on campus now, I think. 28 or 29, which is really big because last year we only had two. So yeah, safe put that through and they got 29 of them which is really exciting. But that was a big thing for students on this campus that they got a lot of backlash in their camp aiming about. But when you put it into perspective you're like, oh, well, that really does matter for some people. So yeah, keep that in mind. That's important. Anything else on cisgender privilege? I think it's like number 11. Yeah. Does that have to bring you close on a new term? Yeah. We're actually for trans-weekly remembrance which is coming up in two or three weeks now. We're actually going to be doing a campaign that's going to be called Safe with Me. And we're going to have like buttons for people to fill out. They're saying, I'm a trans ally and I will accompany you into a bathroom so that you don't get, or you don't have to feel like you'll be assaulted or anything like that. You feel safe. So that's going to be our new campaign for trans-weekly remembrance. Cool. See it coming up. But yeah, another university just did it and they said it was like super, super successful. They had a much higher trans population than we do. So it'll be a little bit different but I think it's just the principle of the matter is having it there. So, yeah. Before I move on I did want to talk about programming policies but I told it to you. Wait, I have a question. Yes. So for the elementary level having a girl's line should we just like nix that, 86 that and just have to like when we walk down the hallway just two lines or you know what I mean? Like should we This is very hard at the elementary level. This is a really tough thing I have to deal with. Because I mean my students will honestly just line up boys girls line on their own. Right. And I think that's just like that's how we grew up. Totally. And I think that's how children, so what if we just and my kids are first grade. So even if I didn't because I think we started off the year boys line girls line boys line their girls line there. So do you think it would be better just to have you know two lines? Make sure they're even. Because I mean essentially boys line and girls lines are so like not it's not even a good idea because I have like 16 I have double the boys in my class that are new girls. So you know what I mean? Like would it be better for us to just not do the whole girls line boys line? Maybe not. I mean that would be something to experiment with. Elementary is a very hard area for this right now. Yeah. Just because more and more kids are coming out with gender identities that don't match what they were assigned at birth. And people don't really know what to do about it. There's kind of like okay well we can't really give you hormones right now but we don't even know if you need them. So like we don't even know what that would put you because then what are the other kids going to say. But in reality in elementary schools if you watch documentaries on trans kids that are actually allowed to live as they choose it's not the kids that have a problem understanding. Usually. Yeah. It's not the other kids in the class. The other kids in the class will be like oh yeah that's drawing and it's fine. It doesn't matter. I don't understand what the big deal is but it's adults that are really kind of having trouble getting into it. So I think if you make it something that's normal to the kids and just be like I'm online today and I don't think it's going to be I don't think it's going to be a difference. I think kids are very receptive to that whereas adults take a little bit more over thinking and trying to do it. So yeah. You definitely have to be creative though for sure. It's not necessarily a good or bad thing trans lives. It's a gender. More of a gender issue of rather of here are the girls and here are the boys. So we have to separate the girls and the boys for what recently boys always get to go first to the group. However that so you need to start to incorporate language when you are having movement or transition in your classroom that invites students to join a group because their birthday is in December. Yeah. Because they don't know that or you know scan. Red shirt, blue shirt, red shirt. Yeah. I'm talking about like a quick and easy way when we go to the tenor line. Yeah. Same thing. Yeah. First they start lining up girls and boys. They don't know one number. No. You know what I mean? Instead of saying you know instead of addressing them as boys and girls in the classroom their mathematician is going to teach you that. They're scientists. They're scientists. They're scientists. Yeah. I was just wondering would that's super super I think that every I don't think I think a lot of classrooms that's how they transition their students. So and that this kind of first thing that I thought of. So I think I'm just saying I don't know Betsy yes. Really? And like sit up all the time I don't know if you let you know We have numbers by last names, so they're list in alphabetical order. That's their number. So Johnny, his last name starts with A, so he's one. And then, although I just have to line up like that, they'll know if you need it to be that one. For me, we just call them up on table. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And even when we transition to lunch, it's like, alright, I don't tell them, like, okay, all the boys go line up, all the girls, I'll say, alright, well, you know, when you're done, go line up or whatever, and they automatically just go in a voice line. And even when we come from lunch, I'm like, alright, everyone, let's line up against the wall, and let's go. Well, that makes sense, because are they going into two other back rooms, like two separate back rooms? Yes. So that makes sense. Yeah. I mean, they're not going to know. They're just going to see, like, boys or girls, or they're not going to see anything else. Yeah, switch it up. Just switch it up. I want you to line up by height. Line up by height. I want people to line up by height. Yeah, that's it. It's not hard. Anyone else have questions on that? I just want to talk about preferred name policy really quick so you know what's coming up, and what you can maybe look for in your schools that you're going into. So does anyone know what a preferred name policy is? So basically, this is something that's becoming more and more frequent at universities especially. It's a way for, like I said, instead of having a legal name change, which takes at least two years' time, basically, for somebody to get a legal name change, for someone who is using a name that is going to be misgendered by the name, it's a big deal. So for classrooms, for rosters, for things like that, say you have somebody calling roll call and you say where's Mary, and Mary is transitioning to be John, and you say Mary, but John raises his hand. That's going to cause a whole problem, right? So preferred name eliminates that. Preferred name, instead of having a legal name change, you can file something on file with the school saying this is my legal name, but this is my preferred name. This is the name that I'm going by. These are my preferred pronouns. And you'll be able to file that with the university so that they can change everything that's not an official document. So they can't change your transcripts, they can't change your... There's a few things that they can't change, can't touch it, but other than that, like class rosters will be changed, bridges will be changed, school emails can be changed, anything like that, so it avoids students being outed in situations like that. And along with the preferred name policy, whoever signs up for it and fills out that paperwork, will be given a system where they can put in all their professors and a notification will be sent to all those professors prior to the beginning of school, saying you have a student in your class that identifies as trans or non-binary. This is the name that's on their official documents, but this is the name that they would prefer to be called by. This is the name that's going to show up on your rosters and these are the pronouns that they use. Yeah? Is this just like a religion? Some high schools are using them and some high schools will allow you to do them anyway. Even as low as middle school, you see preferred name policies. We're actually a little bit behind not to have one at Roger Williams. So hopefully it will be implemented this spring. I'm pretty excited about that, but that's basically what's happening there. I just wanted to, that's just the article about it just came out this week. It's in the office. Yeah, I wrote it. Does anyone have any questions on what preferred name is? We're good. It doesn't really go with this. It's just a side note. All right. The results of heterosexism and cis-sexism are just like statistics for you for your own use. We don't go through them. But they're pretty interesting. I mean, there's no federal job protection for a few people in the US. Only 20 or 50 states offer anti-colonial laws for students based on sexual orientation. So that's a big thing. There are actually some school laws that we should probably just touch on here. I don't usually go through the state laws. They're always here for you. But I can just add some school ones that might be helpful to you. Anti-bullying laws that address both sexual orientation and gender identity only 20 states do that than their anti-bullying laws. Yes. Yeah, the... The future? No. But the big one here is anti-bullying laws prevent specific protection for LGBTQ students. So in Missouri and South Dakota, if you are a queer student in a high school and middle school, even elementary school, getting bullied, they legally cannot prevent you from that harassment. Why? So there is literally a lot preventing them from protecting the students. So is it like... Yeah, it's basically like you can bully the students. I'm sorry. He doesn't know what they say. Technically in some states, he can still hit people. He can still hit people. A lot of them are arbitrary. So if he's arbitrary, or is it just like, they're pretty much... I mean, those laws are still locked. They're locked. I just hope that these states can donate sexual bullying. Also, the bottom one, the eight states laws restrict LGBT topics in schools. That means in any of those eight states we cannot speak about LGBTQ anything in your classroom. Like, you cannot have it as a topic. In these states, in these states, I mean, they're all down-and-down. Probably got to have them talk about it. Everyone is straight. Yeah, I can hear it. I can hear it. Yeah. I'm sorry. Let's get your system out of there. I'm going to hit the screen. Yeah. I'm going to hit the screen. I'm going to hit the screen. I'm going to hit the screen. That's interesting. Where's the room? Can I touch it? Can I touch it? Why doesn't she want to touch it? They can't really have it in their text. They can't have it in materials. So, it's basically foreign to those kids there. It was. Yeah. Alright guys, let's bring it back. We're going to go into Allied Development. This is the last kind of leg in the workshop so we're all going to start here. Four levels of being an ally. An ally is a person who actively works to eliminate the impression and marginalization of LGBTQ individuals. They're writing support to individual LGBTQ people as well as challenging heterosexism and homophobia. So, the four levels of becoming an ally. We have awareness, knowledge and education, skills and action. Awareness is how you would be, how you can interact with LGBTQ people and find common ground with them. So, this is acknowledging that somebody's sexual orientation is not their only identity and it does not make up their entire life. So, basically you're talking to someone and you're like, we're both football fans. That's so cool. I'm straight and you're gay but we're both football fans. This is acknowledging that this does not make people any different from each other. That's awareness. Knowledge, education, understanding laws. We just talked about understanding how people might be affected in different areas. Things like that. Skills. This is going to workshops like we're doing now. Just anything that you can do to like break up your education and your allyship, things like that. And then action is actually confronting a question or finding someone who can confront the oppressive act if you don't feel comfortable doing so. Knowing your resources to do that. And then beyond that, having educational moments with people as an ally. So, as an ally you're going to be coming across people especially in schools. You might see this as a teacher. There's a lot of different things like this. One thing is important to ask questions. Instead of just calling out somebody for bullying someone, ask them why they're choosing to do that. Because a lot of times we hurt other people with our words because we're internalizing things. We have something going on with us. So with students especially this is a time where you don't want to scold them but you want to have a teaching moment with them. So be like, why are you using that word? Why are you calling them that? You know, get to the bottom of it and work through it. Remain positive, try to stay positive if you come at somebody they're going to get defensive probably. Try to avoid them getting defensive. On top of that, knowing your triggers. Triggers are really important because as people who are allies these things are really close to us sometimes and sometimes that really gets to us in our own emotions. So like for example you really don't like when someone uses the word bang, right? And somebody you're confronting an oppressive situation and someone is calling someone else a bang. That's a trigger for you and that makes you really mad. Knowing what to do when your triggers come up and how to handle them so that you don't overreact is really important. But that takes you knowing what your own triggers are. So take some time and figure that out. Know that in any situation your people can be with anything. If you have a trigger that sets you off know how to deal with it if it comes up. Don't get angry like I said stay positive, have a goal know where you want your conversation to go know what you want the endpoint to be and come from a place of care. Be like, I'm doing this because I want this classroom to be safer for people. I'm not doing it because I want to punish you I'm not doing this. I want it to be safe and inclusive for everybody. Does that make sense? So I'm kind of confronting things in a positive and constructive way. But guidelines this has a whole lot of information on it so I just took a hold of this stuff and put it on top. But remembering that everyone is heterosexual or cisgender. So we're trying to challenge the idea that we have societal norms. I just read an article yesterday about giving transition hormones to children trans kids saying well the normal kids and the trans kids not obviously so especially in an article that was written by a trans person I couldn't believe I was reading that. But anyway, remember not everyone is heterosexual or cisgender, keep in mind and try to be inclusive in your language and make this part of your everyday life because the more that you do it the easier it will be and the more psychological it will be. Exam your own biases like I said with triggers like being conscious or unconscious examine your unconscious biases and know how to deal with them. Know your resources. There's a whole bunch of resources for you in this packet. There's resources on campus here in my office public safety has resources know what your resources are in any situation so like when you go into your schools to teach know what your resources are in that situation because that's your ammo that's like your power. Communicate, talk with people learn about them, support them help but don't force this is an important one, somebody comes out to you you might be like oh this person is finally accepted their identity, they're ready to come out but they might only be ready to come out to you and not anybody else. So don't be like oh well you should go come out to them and you should go come out to them they come out to you and you're like oh this is really great I'm supporting you but don't push them further than they can go they'll come into it feelings come first you can just be a listening ear to somebody and that might be all that they need providing support of atmosphere self-explanatory, educate people and advocate for people be conscious of differences and oppression, this is a really big one what intersectionality is so intersectionality is like the intersection of different identities so to say that you had a black trans person actually trans women of color are statistically the highest murder rate of any identity in the United States trans women of color so we're gonna say that be conscious of differences in oppression white trans people have very different oppression than black trans people lesbians have different oppression than trans men so be conscious of those differences and know that not everyone's the impression that everyone experiences is not going to be the same even if their identity is not the same use inclusive language so get used to using gender neutral pronouns and gender neutral language as we talked about for example you're asking if someone is dating someone say are you seeing anyone rather than do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend confidentiality we already talked about being confidentiality confronting bias if you hear language homophobic language transphobic language do your best to confront them or find someone that can be visible so participate in any events that might be supporting the community for example pride need we do a lot of events show your support safe zone stickers are a way of showing support that I have there that you'll get at the end of this be 100% allies so allyship we have a conditional ally we have a 100% ally a conditional ally is somebody that says they're an ally they're okay with queer people but when it comes to it being near them they're like I don't know about that will you sign the petition for the preferred name policy I don't know about that will you sign the gender inclusive I don't know about that so that's a conditional ally yeah I'm totally behind you I think you should be equal to cis people I think you should have all the rights that I have I think you should be able to divorce the people you want to divorce all things like that 100% ally and then encourage other allies this is like allyship should be like a team kind of effort you shouldn't just be you being by yourself you encourage anybody else you don't have questions on that I like that one okay my action plan we don't really do in the workshop this is for your own use I feel like this is a very personal experience for someone to identify as an ally and really actively confront that so I let you do this on your own but basically what you're supposed to do here is three things that you'll continue doing three things that you think you're already doing well as an ally write those three things there I will stop your position as an ally either you use some language that you don't think is something that you should be using or whatever write those there and then I will start write three things that you'll start doing that you weren't doing before for example I will start using gender inclusive pronouns so that's for you pretty much the end other than the back of the packet we have any books and movies if you're interested in checking them out and then in the very back you have your national organizations that deal with all sorts of LGBTQ issues and below that you have your Kansas resources so that would be myself, Candace in the intercultural center what the city meetings are and if you want to get involved with safe zone that's my contact information down at the top anybody have any questions yeah are there any books that you would recommend to any of you younger children elementary, middle school I actually did just I don't know the name of it but I did just come across a book that was written for elementary students in the perspective of a trans elementary student and I hear that I've been doing really really well in teaching like trans identity kids I haven't gotten my hands on it yet so I don't remember what it's called but I know it's like one of the only ones in it's kind so it should come up I know I had experience with elementary school students who have parents or close relatives and having them try to have conversations with their classmates can be really good I don't know any direct resources like that but we can definitely look into it and I can get you some for sure going up that like books about different types of families like there's books like my two mom and me exactly, there's books like that like my classroom has like five different books like the black student family and like the standard just like having that in the little house nice, thanks and I know there's a new book that just came out recently about two male penguins who raised a little penguin in the New York Zoo that's banned really cute but it's banned in a ton of schools and yeah it's banned in a lot of schools so but I think it's a really cute different book I don't want to tell it was part of my banned book I'm going to look for that oh no I was just going to say that I was recently in the Rogers Free Library here in Bristol and one of their new books is I Have Two Moms and I read it and it's pretty, I mean it's more of a it just basically explains how it's more of an adult problem how kids don't care that's awesome thank you