 hmm so I just had a friend of mine call me and asked him how he's doing and this is a guy's like really positive he's a really positive dude and he just went like oh man you know I'm not I'm not really well right now things are pretty bad I mean I'm pretty bad mood and asked him why and he told me that he has this ex-girlfriend from a couple months ago and they're still dating it's like they're still together but they know you know it's not supposed to be anymore so I told him basically it says ex-girlfriend he just didn't break up with her yet and she you know this guy is amazing I mean he's a beast in terms of his dreams and charisma and positiveness and going after his passion of becoming a filmmaker and he's he's like oh man you know we went to dance salsa and she told me that I'm not supposed to to have any girl sit on my lap and mind you this guy has like girls on his lap every day when he's going to salsa and it's the most of he's like the friendliest guy it's nothing sexual and she said she knows it so he's like yeah yeah I didn't know I mean she's one girl did sit on my lap even though she you know my ex-girlfriend told me not to and and then she said I can't change you know she's angry at me and that pisses me off because she's like that and she's like that basically just got into this blame-fit like angry like really damn stupid place and I asked him look what is your dream what is your goal in life and he said oh to become a famous filmmaker and then I asked him okay and how long do you think that's gonna take so he said well at least 25 years and because he wants to be you know like the next James Cameron at least 25 years okay and what do you think your odds are of getting there and he said very high so I corrected him I said well that's you know there's tens of thousands of people who want to have the exact same desire as you they're not famous filmmakers as evident by the fact that there's only like 20 30 really famous directors so no your chances are pretty low if you put in a whole lot of effort work smart and are lucky then you might you might get there so now that I got that the next thing I asked him was you know how does it feel with me as your friend we've known each other other for about 10 months how do you feel every time you talk to me and he says oh amazing wow like you elevate me you help me feel better you make me feel smarter after talking to you and I was like okay yeah that's awesome again I'm a guy that serves people that's you know that's my passion that's my purpose but let's ask okay maybe somebody was like a good friend how do they make you feel he's like oh they almost always make me feel better make me feel happy make me feel energized it's really good it's really good so I said okay and did they ever baby him they or me ever make you feel bad like make you feel confused angry unmotivated unmotivated you know any type of emotion that you would consider like bad and he says well no except for when I'm fucking up you know when I'm not doing what I should do and then they make me feel bad but only to make me feel better later which was a perfect description of a good friend so then I asked him about this girl okay so this girl when you met each other when you just first met how how was it like was it like it's now he's like no it's it was amazing it was beautiful she was super supportive I felt energized after meeting her just like I feel after after meeting you except instead of getting smarter I feel like I just get more happier which again perfect description of a new relationship that has a good potential for for being awesome so at some point it changed and they stopped being like that it stopped being something that you know always is positive and it started getting negative and it gets worse and worse and worse so I called him like two days ago you know this was we were currently talking but two days ago I called him and he didn't answer and I told him how would you feel if like you would call right now and I would tell you like why didn't you answer the phone why why did you why did you scream me you know what the fuck dude why we're not answering my calls or maybe if I said send him a message before the call like you know don't bother if you don't if not I'm not good enough so you talk to me then now why would it talk to you now because I was like all this bitchy behavior and that's how she's acting and when a relationship deteriorates like that you have like one or two children one or two opportunities to stop it to say hey this is not right stop it now if you don't we're gonna break up but he didn't which happens and the relationship deteriorated and the biggest realization was when I told him it's your fault because you call me you're like oh she did this and this and she's like that and he's right like on that low blame level of thinking he is right but it's not about being smart it's not about being you know right it's about being smart so he's right on that level but he's wrong because it tells his fault and he said why said it's your fault for not breaking up with her when it got bad it's your fault for letting somebody who's slowing you down be in your life because once the relationship changes once the dynamic shifts from fun supportive happy rational to this it's it's beyond repair you can never repair it and people people are really really sad when I say this to them but when that happens it's done you're not gonna be able to repair it anymore it's dead basically the relationship is dead you should just let it go and break up and that's the smartest thing you can do so most people they don't do it they don't break up they don't finish the relationship and I call it basically dragging around the corpse so the dragging around this corpse of this person what he used to be or she used to be and every time the corpse kind of does these small movements you know like you kill a bug and the leg just kind of moves a bit so every time the corpse does like it's like oh it's alive oh my god it's alive I think it's alive again and every time it the corpse stinks a bit more and you stink a bit more because you're carrying it and it gets really bad now the problem runs even deeper because I told him look you're talking to me now and I have my goals in order my priorities my focus and you're calling me and instead of us talking business you know talking how we can improve each other's lives how to get to our goals you know even just having fun you know shooting the shed just laughing here we are and you turn me into a confused person you lower me to confusion because now I'm like oh you know I mean yeah that bitch yeah you know she she is dumb oh it's her fault blah blah blah and then when somebody books when somebody stiffs me and for example a client doesn't pay when he said he should pay he would pay I'll ask myself oh who's my favorite blamer my favorite bitch and it would be him so I'd call him now and I be like oh you know what happened to me a client didn't pay and he said he would pay and he should pay but he didn't even though he said he should how could he not pay you know it's it's his fault how can he be like that and instead of him being like hey dude wake the fuck up you need more than one client you need five you know why does one client even matter give more he'll be like oh yeah you know oh my god yeah that's so true it's exactly like what happened to me and my problems and there you have it like two people got fucked up because one guy didn't do it right and and it's a it's a deturing decision because he had to film a project later and he could have spent that time strategizing but he was busy talking to me because he felt like shit and we're supposed to talk about something cool to talk about something that will improve both of our lives and then he could have strategized so it hurt the projects and basically the more successful you become the higher you go the more you have to be aware of your time and your emotional well-being so this isn't to teach you everything I know about managing relationships you know who to let in your life who not but the main part about that is again anybody that lifts you up is good keep him anybody that is neutral I wouldn't fight for him but I also wouldn't delete him just because of that and anybody that makes you feel bad either quickly find a way to correct it but if you can't then you probably won't be able to by the way it's it's almost a 100% chance that you won't be able to but you know just for the sake of argument try but again if the test is that every time you talk to this person you feel the same or better the odds of somebody who's negative in your life turning into a positive or neutral is almost zero because these people usually make everybody feel bad or the relationship the standards got so bad that they just they just can't not behave like bitches anymore to you they can't respect your time and your feelings anymore because they care more about how they feel so yeah just make sure to keep keep these people out and the main point here is not how to you know fix it or take care of it it's that you need to these people need to believe you basically need to take your responsibility for your actions or lack of them realize it's your fault and cut that relationship as quickly as possible because you'll never ever get to your goals you'll never ever you know reach your targets and be where you want to be if you let people like this into your life it's too much weight even if you don't have weight even if you're fully optimal just bam just running forward you still have a good chance of not hitting your goals in life if they're really really big but if you have these things holding you back and confusing you and stopping you and then making you doubt yourself you will never be successful because you have to keep pushing forward in certain direction in certain direction and you can't do that when you have somebody's making a second guess yourself every time you can't have people who are not thinking up and up and more and growth and better and just thinking like no this isn't fine this is not okay and judging and criticizing and lowering and depressing and demeaning and suppressing it's impossible so cut these people off and immediately like that's my biggest hack for making your life better like 10 times in a day so yeah do that and you'll definitely be much better and let me know if you have a problem like this in the comments and if you need personal help I do coaching so let me know please subscribe if you haven't and more videos coming up in the following hours probably see you soon