 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents, Claudia, based on the famous play and novels by Rose Frankin. Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax. And while you're listening, refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. Oh, David, put down your pipe. Put down that old book and concentrate for a minute. I'm concentrating fine. Now leave me alone. Concentrate on that book long enough. It's time you turned that brilliant mind of yours to something else to my crossword puzzle to be specific. Well, if it's specific, then you do it yourself. I can't. I'm stumped. Besides, I hate them. And why do you do them? Oh, I don't mind that much. Do I gag her mother or just lock her up in the closet? To take my advice, you'll pay no attention to her. It's easier said than done. Are you listening? All right, go ahead. Stop looking so crucified. I look any way I want to. Then look my way. Oops. All right, nobody said anything. Claudia, ask your question and get it over with. Everybody picks on me, poor little me. Since I got married, everybody picks on me. You think that's funny, do you? Since when do you do crossword puzzles? I don't. This one sort of attached itself to me, David. All right. Disattach it. What is it? What is an urn? An urn? Well, you don't have to get hysterical over an urn. You know perfectly well what an urn is. It's a pitcher. Pitcher? Oh, no, no, no. It doesn't fit. Where? In the little boxes. It doesn't fit in number six across. Pitcher? Oh, pitcher. Neither of them, Mama. They just don't fit. Try it in number twelve across. David, you don't understand. What else is an urn, darling? It's a vase. Vase? Well, a vase is the right length, but, uh, nope, doesn't fit. Vase does not fit again with a G. You see, G-A-B-Z-E. No, I don't. Say, how do you spell the urn that you're talking about anyway? E-R-N-E. Well, your clock is not that kind of an urn at all. I didn't say what kind of an urn it was. What kind of an urn is it? A gull. Gull? G-U-L-L gull. Go back to your puzzle, Claudia. Go back alone. Oh, isn't this a lovely evening? It certainly was. You and Mama, I, in the fire, Shakespeare's sound asleep. It's life for me. Aren't we getting a little self-satisfied? It's an awful way to be, but how can I help it? Say, is that a new tobacco, David? Had him put in a little more Turkish in the blend. Mm, nice smell. Oh, all right, all right. Let me see, um, six across, six across, six across. Oh, listen, Mama, don't you want to stop knitting. This puzzle needs your brain, too. Too? Your baby needs this sweater. This puzzle is more important than the baby. What a nice little mother I married. Spigot. That's a nice word. Spigot yourself. Spigot. I hardly ever use it. Spigot, hm. Wonder what it means. Uh-oh. Mama, do you know what a spigot is? Of course I know. Everybody knows. What? A spigot's one of those... Well, you know it's the part of the... Oh dear, everybody knows what a spigot is. Go on, go on, tell me what it is, Mama. Oh, it's the little business on... Oh, for heaven's sake, go back to your puzzle. I will not sleep. I will never rest again until I know what a spigot is. Well, go buy yourself a dictionary. Just to find out one word. That is rank extravagance. David, now you're an architect. What is a spigot? You don't have to be an architect, though. It's a plug or a faucet you put into a cask. Oh. It's also a turning plug fitting into a faucet. Yes, that's what it is. Your mother knew all about that. Cool. Well, I should have known, shouldn't I? Oh well. Back to me, puzzle. And see that you stay there. I certainly love this kind of an evening. What sort of a thing is it, David? What? The thing. What thing? Well, you said a spigot was something or other, or a thing and a jig for the... What do you call it? I refuse to talk baby talk. No, no, no. I'll see what you've done. You started the baby talking. I'll go up and see what he wants. No, no, stay there. I'll go. I'll go up and stay up. Gladly. That's a good idea. Then I'll come too. Then I'll stay down. Meantime, the baby is crying. Well, what does he want? I wonder. A little attention. He thought, are you going off? I'm gone. Do you think other babies cry as sweetly as ours? A fatuous remark, if there ever was one. I admit I feel fatuous tonight. Well, see you. Her little world's perfect. Man, that's one thing about Claudia. She's not afraid of telling everybody just how pleased she is with life. I don't mean to compliment her, but she's not spoiled, in spite of having every reason to be. You don't come to think of it. I'm pretty pleased with life myself. The farm has worked out well, hasn't it, David? Better than I ever dreamed. Claudia has taken to the soil like a... a seed of winter rye. Maybe she had an ancestor. Maybe she did. Maybe she had a mother. I never lived on a farm. You don't have to have seen a mountain to know what it looks like. You know, I think, Mrs. Brown, you could live anywhere and be part of it. I sound like an awful fraud. Well, you're not a bad old duck. I've even grown pretty fond of you. Did it take much growing? A heap of little. I'd say that everything was pretty well settled up here. The house, the baby's almost six months old. Practically a man. Fritz and Bertha seem to have solved any other problems you might have had. Things are pretty well settled, including Claudia. Come clean, Mrs. Brown. What are you leading up to? Mind reader. Can't a woman say something without having it forced out of her? She can't, no. I was going to tell you anyway. You don't have to. I'm a tough guy, you know. Terrify me. So, you think it's about time you leave us, Mrs. Brown? So I do. So you think the time has come for Claudia to get along without you? And she can, David. I'm convinced of it. Of course she can. Who said she could? She may say she can't. Now listen to me. That daughter of yours, Mrs. Brown, could get along without anybody if she had to. She could get along any place, on her own. You think very well of her. I could cheerfully kill her at times. But she can manage life on her own grounds. I believe it. That's why it's time I should go. Marriage is for two people, not for three. I've loved it here. I always had a hankering to live on a farm. Besides, Claudia was my child for many, many years. It wouldn't have been easy to let her go overnight. And it wouldn't have been right. But it's more selfish than that. When a woman's married, widowed, you know, as young as I was, there's some living mist. This has been sort of like reprieve. Second taste. You're very much the sort of man my husband was, David. Hmm. Well, I hope our son will be too. But he has... He's such a little thing with such a fat belly. Still he has your eyes, Mrs. Brown. Poor child. He's not complaining. Anyway, David, before Claudia comes back down, let's get this thing settled. All right, where do you go? Oh, back to New York for a few days. Strange as it may seem, I still have the apartment there. Seems a terrible luxury these days. Hardly been in it these last eight months. Well, you keep it, and it'll be our luxury when we stay in town. Then I thought I'd visit with Louisa. Well, you're not supposed to visit with a mere sister-in-law. As opposed to or not, I intend to. I think you think you're needed there. Independent, aren't you? Very. Well, you don't need any excuses to visit with us. Any time. You're safe to invite me all you want. I won't come, except once in a while, but then only to see my grandson. Of course. Who else? David, I'm serious. You and Claudia must live your lives alone. The last time you brought this up, I remember it was in New York before we moved out here. And I said no. And I insisted you come with us. You remember that? I dropped a cup, and it broke into a million pieces. Yeah, which is very clumsy of you. Well, that time I insisted. This time, I don't. That means you agree with me. Personally, I don't think it matters too hoots as far as Claudia is concerned. She's not a mama baby anymore. She's a wife, and she's a mother. And she's a big girl. And she doesn't need me. And she shouldn't want me around, and I shall pack my things and prop this steal away into the night. Still, she's going to worry about you an awful lot. And when that girl worries, she's certainly worried. Are you telling me? Well, I won't hurt her to worry a little. She'll soon get over it when she finds out there's nothing to worry about. Oh, that's a fallacy. That's a crossword puzzle word. You won't go until after Claudia's birthday, will you? That's right after Christmas. Sometime around then. Then you can begin the new year right. I might even worry about you myself. You would be that kind of a fool, wouldn't you? Well, I have much else to worry about. Then for heaven's sakes, leave me alone. I bet you stood up on your own two feet at the age of three months, Mrs. Brown. On the contrary. I was a very backward baby. Is it a deal, David? It's a deal. I'm even going to put out my book and cross this room and shake your hand. In other words, you want to make sure I don't go back on my words. In other words, I feel like shaking the hand is a pretty swell guy. Go away. You're too big to be sentimental and I'm too old to need a handkerchief, but you happen to have one. Now I know where your daughter gets it. She never carries one either. It's these ridiculous styles. We have no pockets. It's just an excuse. What's so funny? What's everybody laughing about? Come on, come on. She always has to know everything. Especially when it's a joke. How's the baby? Why was he crying? What were you laughing about? None of your business. Why was the baby crying? It's none of your business. It is so. I'm his grandmother. Oh, merely a coincidence. Because I happen to be your daughter. Absolutely no attention to her, Mrs. Brown. Oh, we're back to that again. Pay no attention to her. Pay no attention. Well, don't see if I care. I will just go back to my crossword puzzle. And I, to my book. And I, to my knitting. The baby who is sleeping. None of these had a drink of water. Oh, so that's what it was. So that's what what was. Never mind. David. Now what is the box with seven sides? Oh, there is a dictionary in the study. Yes, I know. But what would I look it up under? I mean, box or seven sides. Or you are my walking dictionary, darling. You tell me. Compliments won't coax me. Well then, all right. And who was the first president of the Confederate Union? David, you know everything. Who was it? All right. All right. I won't have any peace of mind if I don't. No, you won't. Now bring that puzzle over here. Bring that pencil, too. No, you darling. But don't breathe down the back of my neck. I won't. I won't. Much. Let's see. A box of seven sides. Hmm. Hmm. You and the baby and mama need all together. Leave me out of it. Leave you out of it. Listen to her, David. She wants to be left out of it. That's what I want. Well, can't have everything you want, Mrs. Brown. So I won't leave you out of it. You are one of us to stay. Mama, like it or not, isn't she, David? Hmm. What's that? Oh, nothing important, darling. I just love these evenings when nothing, nothing happens. And life goes on just being perfect. Are you planning any holiday parties for young people? You know the first thing to put on your shopping list, don't you? Coca-Cola. Let music ring out. Have those bottles of Coke, icy cold. And the younger set will take over from there. Or they agree. Where there's Coke, there's hospitality. Mr. King, are you talented at crossword puzzles? Oh, I know a word here in the word there, I guess. Oh, then please do come in. All help given is help appreciated. Well, I'll be in in a moment. Nothing I prefer than your happy heart, Mrs. Brown. It's happy. I dread telling Claudia my decision. She's so unaware. You won't tell her to laugh to Christmas, will you? No, not till after. And it's going to be a good Christmas, Mrs. Brown. Here's a tip. David and Claudia are going shopping for you tomorrow. Oh, dear. And oh, dear is properly placed there. Shopping four days before Christmas is shopping indeed. Even if you don't manage to buy anything. I better get my shopping, too. I'm not so sure that it's better late than never. Goodbye, Mr. King. So long, Mrs. Brown. As I was about to say, every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying, Olivoire, and remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. Or Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes. And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere. These broadcasts are adapted for radio by Mania Star, and the entire production is supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. And now, here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.