 Hi everyone, as we started new series by the name of Dynamics of Relationship and keeping in view the response received from the same, this second part of the Dynamics of Relationship is based upon as to how we understand and how the dynamics can be improved. That is, complaints against the spouse is one of the issues which we have seen day in and day out becomes the trigger points for the relationships to go from bad to worse and how that can be avoided is the deeper type which S. Sushila senior advocate will take us into this session. Ma'am, thank you for accepting us. I'm extremely thankful to be on the CLC series. In order to help people to understand the dynamics of relationship, we have started the series. I wish and I hope that people will encourage us and the objective behind this series is to see to it that people understand the value of their marriage. They understand that they need not have to rush towards divorce for the fall of the hat and they need to understand their spouses in a better way that is the main objective of this series. Today let us understand about another topic which is related to this dynamics of relationship that is complaints against your partner. I always tell people stop complaining against your partner or spouse instead of complaining express your concerns. When people come to me and tell my husband always complains against me, my wife always has got complained against me, my mother, my sisters, everyone from a more family. She has nothing but only complaints against all of us. I request you to see to it that what your partner expresses as complaint, can it be their concerns? Convert the complaint into concerns is what I request. I give a small example. A reasonably rich lady, a good professional, she had come to me and she said my husband doesn't take interest in any of the household chores. He just goes out at 7 o'clock in the morning and comes back at 11 a.m. as 11 p.m. And then everything I have to take on my shoulders, be it upbringing of the children, going to schools to attend to parent teachers meeting, or taking his parents to hospital attending family functions on my side, attending family functions on his side, some vehemence, something of this kind, something of that kind. Everywhere I have to ration, they have to take care of my profession also. He doesn't do anything. I am fed up of him. He is not at all interested in marriage. I am fed up of this marriage. I won't divorce. This is her complaint. Maybe if I had spoken to her, she would have given me a hundred more instances where she is upset, she is deeply hurt, and she is pained also. But after talking to her for a while, I asked her one question, are you expecting that your husband should spend quality time with you? He should devote quality time to the family. She said, yes, that means what she wants is quality time of her husband. And once this strikes her, the entire complaint scenario goes away from the scene. When this was taken to her husband, her husband said, yes, I can give my quality time. All these years, I struggled hard in order to see to it that our family status is maintained up to a particular level. My wife is not so very gainfully employed. So I thought I should earn and see to it that our family's prestige is maintained. That's why I started working very hard from morning seven o'clock till 10 at night. So here when he expressed this, the wife's complaints against husband also turned into concerns. Each of them expressed their concerns. What I request every spouse is to see to it that when your partner complains something, has complaints against someone, understand the concern of your partner. I say something against my husband's mother to my husband. What my husband needs to understand here is that what is it that's worrying my wife? That is the part that one has to understand. But if you start telling that just because A has complained, I don't want A. I want to eliminate A from my life. That's not going to happen. This is one aspect as far as complaint is concerned. Another thing is concerned. Why do we complain? Understand the need behind the expectations. Those of you who are interested in general reading, please read Marshall Rosenberg. He has done a lot of good work in this field. Understand the need behind the expectations. Understand the concerns behind the complaints. Then you will understand why is this lady or why is this man always in the platform of complaining itself. That's another aspect we need to understand. Of course, all complaints need not have to be addressed. What I generally tell people is that if your partner goes on complaining against something, all that you need to do is just listen to her or listen to him. He says your mother is not good. Your sister is not good. Your sister did this. Your mother did this. You did not do this. You should have done this. Fair enough. All that your partner wants you to listen to it. Is it so? Did he say so? Oh, it happened like that. Oh, that's what happened. Fair enough. Fair enough is you should not be telling fair enough to your partner. But fair enough is you are listening to the other person. Just listen. Do not agree. Do not disagree. That person feels satisfied that all her or all his complaints against you is listened to by you. That's all she wants or all her complaints against your friends, your relatives or somebody else or something, some situation is listened to by you. One particular method or one particular tip that we give people to reduce the animosity, to reduce the negative effect of complaints is just listen to the person without agreeing or disagreeing. I request all of you to try this and see how it works. Thank you all.