 Hello, everyone. I'm Dexter Griff. And I'm Dick Simmons. And I'm Sarge. Here today to discuss subverting expectations. Actually, Sarge, we're here to discuss moving out. An important step on the journey to adulthood. Griff and I are going to demonstrate how to move by moving out of red base permanently. Like, for realsies? For realsies, sir. Ugh, this is awkward. I knew we should have made that PSA about ghosting. Ha ha ha ha! I don't care if you two go! Good riddance! Just be out of here by the end of the day. I mean, come on! Who needs ya? Nicholas. Okay then. On to finding a home. What's up, bums? Sisters Bitch and Realty and Mortgage Company is back in business! As long as it includes some sort of friends and family discount, we're in. I'll make an exception since neither of you qualify for the Friends with Benefits discount. Gross. That's fair. First up, I have this home away from it all built into solid rock with a lovely view of the star. This one, to be exact. Conveniently located right next door. Eh, too hot and too bright. All my naps would be ruined. Okay. Here, we have a glowing two bedroom apartment set outside the lovely town of Chernobyl. Eh, too radioactive. Although, glowing another arm would be convenient. Hey, ladies! I thought I said end of day! Sounds like you future bums are short on time and need me to decide for you. So here's the deal. I have a cracked in on the wrong side of the tracks that's cheaper than the dirt it sits on. Hmm, okay. And this amazingly affordable manner on a nearby fault line that just popped up on the market. Always make sure to consider the options of what you're willing to pay for versus what you can pay. Here go. I'll stick with the smaller fixer upper in the bad part of town to avoid getting into an even more risky muddy pit. Really? You're gonna pass on that diamond in the rough? Screw the expense. I'll take Griff Manor. All sales final. That goes in there. This goes here. And perfect. The next phase of your move is organizing your stuff based on size, room, and category. Yeah. Abago las luces. Or you can just ball everything into one big pile, like your negative emotions, ready to explode in any minute. But not everything is worth taking. Consider selling your extra stuff in a yard sale before you leave. Alternatively, save yourself the extra work by sending out your useless crap viking funeral style. Once you've gathered all your pathetic goods and memories, it's time to actually move. I was able to use my yard sale profits to pay for semi-professional movers to handle my stuff. Sorry, Mr. Simmons. And I'm having caboose move my good stuff and red bases fridge to Griff Manor with the blues warthog. All he asked in return was a pizza party. Oh, specifically when we're talking animals on stage, they are the best nightmares. What the blazes? Why is my shotgun part of some cat forsaken yard sale? And why is the base also a blaze? Scatter! There you are. Saved from the disgrace of second-hand ownership and second-degree burns. Simmons! Options for putting out the base! What would Simmons do? Sir, I believe their science calculations and math that pouring water and sand on the fire might work. Huh. And Griff would probably say, Let's go take a nap on a half-eaten pizza fart. Ew, knuckleheads, get your ass together! The real way to find this is to charge in headlong and fight fire with fire! Base on the double! Yes, sir! Well, Lopez, here's what hundreds of thousands in military service delayed student loans got me. Who's that cop, bro? El Verterdero? El Lado? Del Verterdero? At least you got most of our stuff here already. Sorry again, Mr. Simmons. With minimal damage. And it's always good to take in your surroundings as you unpack and move in. Oh, God, don't cha- Shit, Caboose, look at this place! A giant TV with a car in the living room! Huge aquarium? And a fully stocked man cave? You could fit a lot of cavemen in there. There's even an awesome view with a clear glass bottom pool! This place has everything! Cannonball! Unpacking. Time to po- The last bit of moving in is to unpack everything and check out your new home. And wow, this place looks pretty okay from the inside. Oh, God. Human interaction. I didn't plan for this. Remain calm. It's probably just a mailman. Oh, a song party. First night of living alone on your own is always the hardest. Right, Caboose? Pizza and nightmares! Most of the trash should have been gone by now. Hey, Simmons! We need to announce that we are going back to war against the blues! Now, I know it'll be tough, but I believe the only way to secure our freedom is to kill everyone and everything in this gulch until this canyon is red from sea to shining sea! Who's with me? Simmons! Griff! Lopez! You're back! Come to visit your old sergeant on a friendly pastor, huh? No, sir. We're here to show everyone the true final step of moving. Tucking your tail between your legs and pleading with your parents to let you crash in the basement for another five years. Four realsies? I mean, uh, uh, really? I had an anxiety attack when a troop of Girl Scouts came to my door asking for cookie sales. And I just couldn't bear to clean up the mess after my housewarming party, so I cut my losses and left. I don't know if I really need you men back on Red Team. Of course you need them, soldier. Now, let them back in. Yes, sir, me. Ha-ha. Men, my mind has been changed by me. You're in. Now, let me just gather all my thoughts and I'll talk with you later. Anybody else feel like moving again? No. Yeah, it's definitely not worth it.