 Looks like Great Britain still has a hung parliament. Normally when Britain has a hung parliament, it's to heighten orgasms for their eaten alumni. It's 3 a.m. Tuesday, June 13th, 2017. I'm David Feldman. We have a lot of show. Let's get right to it. This is the David Feldman Radio Network. On today's show, Your Hero in Mind, Congressman Alan Grayson, the firebrand progressive from Florida, who doesn't just speak truth to power, he cold cocks it. Then my sister's favorite. Alan Grayson's favorite. My producer's favorite. Susie Essman from Curb Your Enthusiasm. We got her. She plays Susie Green, the wife of Larry David's manager, on Curb Your Enthusiasm, which is back for a brand new season in October. Susie Essman, we talk about. Working on Curb, Stand Up, plus the new movie she's in called Band-Aid. Laura House is in the Laura, Laura House. We all love Laura House. She joins us. Judah Grunstein reports from Paris on the recent elections in France and England. And more importantly, what's going on in Qatar. Judah always does an amazing job making complicated transnational issues easier to understand. And then movie critic, Michael Snyder. Stay with me. Welcome to the broadcast. I'm David Feldman. DavidFeldmanshow.com. Please, friend me on Facebook. Please, friend me on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter. Do all your Amazon shopping via the David Feldman Show website. Go to the David Feldman Show website. DavidFeldmanshow.com. You will see Amazon banners. It'll say Shop Amazon. Click on that banner. And then it'll take you right to Amazon. And we get a small percentage of everything you purchase. It doesn't cost you more money. You're taking, you're actually taking money out of Amazon's pockets. And you're putting it in the David Feldman Show's pockets. And I promise you, I promise you every penny we make from your shopping session on Amazon goes to keeping the lights on here, keeping this show going. A lot of man hours and prepping this show. So if you want to help out and you need to shop on Amazon, go to DavidFeldmanshow.com. Click the Amazon banner. And shop away. And we get a small percentage of everything you purchase. It adds up. More importantly, hit the contact button after you shop at Amazon for me. And let me know you did it so I can thank you. That's important to me. It's just important to me. I'd like to know who's helping out. You deserve some kind of thank you and a gift. Well, the Trump saga continues. James Comey, former head of the FBI, should be careful questioning Donald Trump's veracity. Because as we all know, Donald never lies. Just ask all three of his wives. Over the weekend, Donald Trump warned Comey. You can attack Melania. You can attack my children. You can even attack my dog. But when you attack me, well, then, sir, you've crossed the line. All the evidence is in, and it's up to you, America. You can believe James Comey or you can believe Trump, which means it really gets down to, he says, rapist says. Speaking of rapists, Bill Cosby's trial goes into its second week and Camille Cosby yesterday, Camille Cosby yesterday, for the first time, made a public display, entering the courtroom, arm in arm, with her soon to be convicted rapist husband. Camille was even smiling, holding hands in the courtroom with Bill Cosby, which means, after nearly 50 years, 5,000 rapes, Bill Cosby finally put something in his own wife's coffee. Speaker Paul Ryan fresh off last week's defense of Donald Trump came to Bill Cosby's aid, telling prosecutors to take it easy on America's dad, he's new to rape. We'll get to the show in a second, but I need you to help me out with a personal vendetta against an enemy of the state who should have gone to prison. His name is Lloyd Blankfein. He is the self-righteous, malignant growth who crashed our economy back in 2008. Dodd-Frank would have put this amoeba-faced golem in prison. These days, he's paying lobbyists in Washington to work Congress to make sure they repeal Dodd-Frank and turn our banks, including Goldman Sachs, into even bigger casino so he can destroy our economy once again and then use another taxpayer bailout to give his worthless employees Christmas bonuses. Well, he has a new Twitter account. He's actually tweeting. Lloyd Blankfein is actually tweeting. And while he's currently destroying Dodd-Frank, he's deflecting our attention by assuming the moral high ground and attacking Donald Trump for pulling out of the Paris climate accords. Lloyd Blankfein runs Goldman Sachs and he's a homunculus. Like Bill Crystal, like David Frum, Lloyd Blankfein is an opportunistic infection who is using Donald Trump to whitewash his own iniquitous past that destroyed millions of lives. If you have a Twitter account, I want you to tweet at Lloyd Blankfein. He is the limb of Satan. I want you to tweet the following to him. Lloyd Blankfein is so ugly, hookers demand that he wears a condom dot, dot, dot over his face. Get a patent pencil, write this down, and I want you to tweet this to Lloyd Blankfein. He runs Goldman Sachs. Lloyd Blankfein is so ugly, hookers demand that he wears a condom dot, dot, dot over his face. I want you to think of all the people you know who lost their homes. It's Lloyd Blankfein's fault. We need scapegoats. So why not somebody who looks like an actual goat Lloyd Blankfein? I'm David Feldman and I believe in the politics of personal destruction. Hit them hard, hit them below the belt and make them cry. Coming up, someone with a lot more class than I ever had, Congressman Alan Grayson, Susie Essman, Laura House, from World Politics Review, Judah Grundstein, and film critic, Michael Snyder. This is the David Feldman Radio Network. First of all, let me apologize to you because I rolled out a bed this morning. Howie Klein, who is on the show once a week, he is the founder and treasurer of the Blue America Pack. He raises money for progressive candidates around the country. He also writes the down with tyranny blog. He is unavailable for the next couple of weeks. And I said to him, can you find for me somebody who can fill your shoes? Hint, hint, Congressman Alan Grayson. He said, I'll make, I'll make a call. And when how, when Howie makes a call, people jump and I rolled out a bed and I see Alan Grayson in my email and I just wrote back and I just have to do this and you have to put up with this because my mother is going to be furious with me. I didn't call you Congressman. I just wrote you this quick email that said, can you do noon? And then I got my coffee and I went, oh my God, you don't write to Alan Grayson and say, can you do? So I apologize for that email. It was slightly disrespectful. Well, I just want to point out to you that I put my pants on one leg at a time. I put my sweater on one head at a time. That's how brilliant I am. I have two heads. All I am, that's all I ever be. I'm still, you know, the kid who cleaned toilets to get through Harvard. Nothing has changed. You're from the projects in the Bronx. You went to Harvard undergrad. You worked your way through Harvard Law School. You're from the Bronx and you moved to Florida. So you're not that smart. You moved to Florida. No, everybody moves to Florida. Later, it's the law. Yeah, but come on. Got a little bit ahead of other people. That's all. I did it in my 30s instead of my 60s. Before we get started, I did a benefit for you with Sarah Silverman at the improv. Oh, that was so wonderful. That may have been my favorite campaign event of all time. And I actually wrote, I have to find them. I know I wrote like 20 jokes just slamming you for you, but slamming you. And I think Breitbart went after us. They said it was inappropriate for a congressman to be mixing it up with Bulgarians like Sarah Silverman and David Feldman. Do you think that's true? I actually think about this sometimes. I love Sarah Silverman. I love Al Franken. I sometimes wonder if we're, I'm not putting myself in the same category as them, but do liberal comedians push voters away? Is it dangerous for a candidate to be too close to comics? Well, you know, you don't see a lot of people whose political careers have been ended by a close association with Sarah Silverman or for Bill Maher or any number of other somewhat controversial political comedians. And I would include Sarah in that. I think that her comedy is largely political and sociological and always brilliant. I do know that there's a lot of really craven people in Washington, DC and both parties who take no chances whatsoever and cower whenever anybody criticizes them for any reason. I would never think of any time spent with you or Sarah Silverman as guilt by association far from it. There is a sort of an underlying issue about whether the joke is funny or not. If you tell a risque joke and it's not funny, everybody suffers. But the test is very simple in my mind. Does it make me laugh? And if it makes me laugh, there's nothing wrong with it. It is true that the event was criticized by people on the far right because they wanted to try to use their whining about political correctness against us. And that happens from time to time. I'll give you an example that's from my own career. I went on the floor of the house to lampoon the Republicans' absence of anything resembling consideration for people's health. And I said... I remember vividly you said their plan is for them. Don't get sick. Yeah, I love that. No, don't get sick. And if you do get sick, say it quickly. Now, in my mind, that is political satire or comedy, if you will, that's in line with someone writing the Irish who are suffering through famine should maybe consider eating their own children. Jonathan Swift. Jonathan Swift wrote. I already wrote that a couple hundred years ago. I can't imagine why anybody would be offended by that. But the Republicans immediately, the next four speakers on the floor of the house, you can actually go back and look at the clip on Two-Span, all said that was terribly... Scolded me, basically. Scolded me for satire. And then it became sort of an urban legend that what I did was somehow to be equated with Joe Wilson shouting at the president in the midst of the speech UI. Every time anybody mentions Joe Wilson, the Republicans have to somehow counter with Allen Grayson. So, I mean, clearly it is a political tool that the other side uses from time to time to try to put us back on our heels, make us embarrassed by being funny, by being clever, by using literary illusions or figures of speech or other criminal acts in the body policy. And I don't buy it. I just don't buy it. I think it's okay to be funny. I'm happy that people who have a sense of humor support me and that includes you. Thank you. And you also supported Bernie Sanders in the last election. And you're a progressive. You've been called a loudmouth demagogue, not by Republicans by Debbie Wasserman Schultz. No, that, no. No, I'm kidding. I'm sorry. That's not, that is not true. I know. Debbie and Debbie and I have a very constructive decent relationship by respect to her. She's, you know, she, I know that she made some very controversial judgments during the campaign for president. But Debbie would never say that about me. Okay. You are here by courtesy of the great Howie Klein. I would like to call this up with tyranny. Howie Klein writes down with tyranny. I would like to call this up with tyranny because I think Congressman Allen Grayson is the other side of the populist coin when it comes to Donald Trump. And had you been running for president as a progressive or had Bernie Sanders made it to the top of the ticket with the Democratic Party, I would be all in favor of up with tyranny fascism. As long as it's progressive fascism, I'm joking around. But are you afraid of Trump? Do you think his days are numbered or do you think we're one terrorist attack away from absolute charity? I wouldn't say afraid as though I would use him sort of afraid for the future of the country. You know, it is remarkably fortunate that someone who was as clownish and stupid during his campaign, it's fortunate for the country that someone who then wins the election, if you want to call it that, turns out to be equally clownish and stupid as President of the United States because that has actually slowed down his momentum. Let's think what would have happened if his inauguration speech had been one that sort of tried to placate the millions upon millions of voters who voted against him and said, we're going to get on with the business of the country now and then tried to implement the right-wing agenda without the enormous stalling that's taken place because he is a corrupt fool. That would have been an even worst-case scenario than the scenario that we're experiencing right now. But yes, I mean, there was a British Prime Minister who was asked after his election, what do you think will determine whether you're a successful Prime Minister or not? And his answer was, events, dear boy, events. We haven't had any events yet. No market crashes, no serious wars. We continue to send our drones and bomb in any number of different places, but that's not even considered to be a war any longer. No terrible earthquakes or other natural disasters, no hurricanes ripping through Florida. Nothing has really happened since Donald Trump is in president other than his self-immolation. And that's fortunate for all of us, but it doesn't have to be that way. And I am worried and concerned for the country. I'm not afraid of him. I'm afraid of what it would mean for the country if we do face some real challenge, particularly an economic one. And we have an oath in the White House who has no sense of what it's like to in the lives of ordinary people. I feel bad about that. He thought he was taking a constitutional oath when... Well, on a serious note, this week marks the one-year anniversary of the worst mass shooting in American history that took place in your district in Orlando, Florida, the Pulse nightclub, a gathering place for the... Eight blocks out of my district. Sorry, eight blocks out of my district. But yes, the first responder came from my district and was there in a few minutes. But go ahead. I don't want Fox News to be running story later on today about how Alan Grayson lied about the Pulse massacre. So it was eight blocks outside the district. Right. But your district has been redrawn more times than my family portrait. Right. That's correct. My chin. Can't you bring the chin? No, I shouldn't be making jokes. Imagine had that shooting taken place today, as opposed to last year, what do you see happening with Trump in the White House? Well, I think that it would have been used as a distraction to at least temporarily. I mean, you know, the White House machinery would have tried to use it to try to get people to stop thinking about the theft of our election machinery to stop thinking about the betrayal of the country to Russians in exchange for a large amount of campaign support and cash and so on. So I mean, basically, I think the White House machinery would have tried to use it to change the subject, but I have a feeling that in the first 48 hours or so, I think Donald Trump would have tweeted out something like too bad. All the patrons weren't carrying heat. And then, of course, the effort at changing the subject would have collapsed. And he would have embraced the LGBT community as a cloak to push his anti-Arab travel ban and gun rights, all in the name of protecting the LGBT community. Well, actually, you know, it's very interesting that you mention that because it's true that it was an LGBT nightclub, but it wasn't really known very much at the time. It was an Hispanic night at the club. So well over half of the victims were Hispanic that night. And in Orlando, we have an international Hispanic community. It's not like some parts of the country where, you know, we've wanted to march Hispanic communities locally for 300 or 400 years. That's not the way it is in Orlando. Generally speaking, a lot of our Hispanics are first generation or second generation in the continental United States. Puerto Ricans more so than Cubans. Puerto Ricans are citizens automatically, but what I'm referring to is the fact that two of the victims had parents who were outside the country who would have been affected by a travel ban against Hispanics. And we had to make special arrangements for them to attend my office. Had to make special arrangements for them to attend the funerals of their children since they had to come from outside the country from America. It's true that they didn't have to scale a wall in order to get to Orlando. That's not where the wall would be. But at a moment like that, you realize that there are all sorts of personal ties that have nothing to do with porters. Let me ask you about Russia. I don't trust anybody. I trust you. I trust Bernie Sanders. And I trust Howie Klein. And everybody else I'm skeptical about. I don't believe there's an opiate crisis in America. I think we have police officers who are just constantly looking for reasons to fund their business. The Russia problem. How big a threat is Vladimir Putin to America, to our elections? Wasn't Jeb Bush a bigger threat to our electoral process than Vladimir Putin could ever be? Man, scrubbing all the African Americans off the voter rolls in the lead up to the 2000 election? Isn't that the biggest threat to our electoral process? Vladimir Putin could never do that. You know, Operation Cross-Check is something that gets no publicity at all. What was that? And Operation... That was a concert effort by Republicans that removed a million Americans from voter rolls because those Americans had the same first name and last name as a voter in another state. So John Smith and, well, you'd be typically talking about minorities that were both in rows. So John Smith would be a misleading name to use. Maybe Harold Washington would be a better example. Harold Washington in South Carolina, Harold Washington in Indiana, two of them have the same first name and last name. Therefore, they must be the same person according to Operation Cross-Check. He was the mayor of Chicago, wasn't he? I'm just picking a random African American name. Just throwing dirt in your face to get you off your game. But as Greg Palace pointed out, and Greg would be a great guest on the show, more than well over half of the people who were knocked off the voter rolls by Operation Cross-Check or minorities, particularly African Americans, Hispanics, and to some smaller degree Asians. And there's an awful lot of Kims out there, for example. This was a crime of a voting crime that took place right in front of our faces. It was made possible by Supreme Court striking down part of the Voting Rights Act because it was implemented without prior approval by the Department of Justice, which never would have happened, just never proved something so stupid. I mean, think about this. If they have a different middle name, they still counted as the same person. If they had a different birth date in the voting records, they counted as the same person. It didn't matter what other information was in the voting records. If they had the same first name, the same last name, in certain places in the country, they were heavily minority, they were struck off the voter rolls on the theory that it was the same person in both places and that that person had registered to vote twice. That's crazy, and that happened right in front of us, and Vladimir Putin had nothing to do with that. So you're saying this took place after the Shelby County ruling from the Supreme Court? It started beforehand, but it was implemented in large part afterward. The Shelby County ruling by the Supreme Court, which kind of reversed a lot of the Voting Rights Act with the old Confederacy. What it said specifically is that in the parts of the country where there had been demonstrated violations of minority voting rights in those places, and this was in the original Voting Rights Act in Section 5, in those places the Department of Justice had to approve in advance, had to approve in advance any change in voting practices, and that would include striking off people from the rolls because they had the same first and last name as somebody else in a different state. That's the kind of change that was possible after Shelby that was not possible without DOJ approval before Shelby. Was Florida being monitored by the Justice Department after the Voting Rights Act? Part of Florida was. We had certain counties that had been established as counties that had violated minority voting rights, and in those counties we needed prior DOJ approval. But as a practical matter, since Florida election law is uniformed throughout the whole state, getting prior approval in those parts of the state meant getting a prior approval in the whole state. That's just a practical matter. So where was the Justice Department in 2000? If they were, I don't want to call it a consent decree, I don't know what you would call it, but according to the Voting Rights Act, it was the responsibility of the Justice Department to monitor the way African Americans vote in Florida. The other side's argument for what it's worth is that they weren't doing something that was new. Okay, what happened in Florida in 2000 was not they struck down people off the voter rolls because it had the first name and last name as someone else. They took people off the voter rolls if they had the same first name and last name as the convicted felon. Right. Which is not the same thing. I mean, it's similar, but it's not the same thing. Now, there had always been efforts in Florida to make sure that convicted felons don't vote. In fact, this is really hard, but roughly half of all the people in the country who can't vote because they are convicted felons live in Florida. We have almost 2 million people who can't vote and about a little more than one-third of our entire African American male population is disqualified for voting in Florida because they are convicted felons. So what they did, what the Secretary of State, Catherine Harris, did in 2000 in Florida was she said, I am simply implementing the existing rule that felons can't vote. And that's how they were able to finesse that situation. But you couldn't do it cross-check. Cross-check really is something new and even more deeply equal. I was reading the Constitution the other night. I'm serious. And I saw either an amendment or a clause that says you cannot deprive somebody the right to vote because they serve time. Did I misread that? It does not say that. I actually introduced the first constitutional amendment in the 200-year history of the United States that would have made it say that. I introduced an amendment to change the Constitution to say that. But in fact, it does not say that. Now, you might have been reading the California Constitution. You know what? You know what? No, I'm sorry. It was the warranty for my breadmaker. I apologize. I can feel it. Well, you obviously have a very wise, substitute breadmaker who's trying to make for social progress. Constitutionally, you can deprive convicted felons the right to vote. And you introduced legislation, constitutional amendment to reverse that. Yes. I mean, honestly, at this point, if we had a fair Supreme Court, Supreme Court might decide that the current law is unconstitutional because it violates equal protection under the law. And even in some respects, violates. I mean, for instance, a convicted felon can vote at some point in his life in all but three states. Only Florida and two other states have your barred forever rule. The fact that you can move from place to place in the United States and someplace you can vote and someplace you can't vote is very suspicious from a constitutional point of view. So, you know, but we have such a conservative Supreme Court and if that's such a conservative Supreme Court since the 70s, that no one has had any urge to have that issue decided by the Supreme Court, which seems to be preoccupied in making the rich richer and the poor poorer and very little else. Russia, are they a threat or are we just looking for things to throw dirt in the Trump administration's eyes? Well, you know, those people who have been getting the briefings I haven't gotten one of those briefings since I left office in January. Those people who've been getting the briefings certainly seem to think that they are a threat. The so-called intelligence agencies issued a public report a few months ago indicating that they had, the Russians had in fact, Russian government had interfered in our election and the Russian government was responsible for the hacking of the Democratic Party and Clinton campaign staff. The Russians have denied it, but what would you expect them to do? I mean, there is some ambiguity at this point because Julian Assange and others have suggested that it wasn't actually the Russians. It was the people acting independently of the Russian government, like for instance some Bulgarian hacker. But the intelligence agencies for whatever that may be worth have come to the conclusion that it was the Russian government that actually did the hacking, that hacking, it was a close election anything, almost anything could have changed as a result of that election. 100,000 votes in three states determined the outcome of that election. So in a close election everything matters and if you take the intelligence report on its face then there's that much at least. Now there's been speculation which may be well founded that there was much more. For instance, there's speculation that the Russians took either oligarch money or government money laundered it through various organizations and then injected it into the Republican campaign not just for president but the Republican House and Senate campaigns as well. There is some evidence to support that. Which would explain why they're reluctant to investigate that. Of course, I mean, there's a rumor that there's a tape of Paul Ryan talking about the fact that they're taking Russian money. I mean, who knows if it'll turn out to be accurate or not but there is that out there at this point. Also, in addition to that, there is some degree of evidence that the Russians did micro-targeted persuasion political ads directed toward voters whom they thought they could persuade. They did some heavy number crunching and then some degree of actual expenditure to message news including fake news to those voters. And these days when there are so many independent expenditures flying around, it's always going to be hard to attribute anything to anybody. But there is evidence that the Russians had an organized effort to interfere through micro-targeted persuasion advertising to American voters. Honestly, we don't exactly have clean hands in this regard. We have done everything from radio broadcasts to military invasions when other countries do their voting but it doesn't somehow alleviate the problem that things like that happened in the past in the United States and even happen in the future. Noriega just died. Noriega was an elected leader of Panama. To give you one example, we invaded Panama, occupied it for a certain amount of time, captured him, brought him home, brought him to the United States to our home and then imprisoned him for the rest of his life. So that gives you an idea of the degree to which the United States can interfere in the political processes of other countries. I could give you other examples as well. One Bosch was elected, if I recall correctly, one Bosch was elected president of the Dominican Republic five times and he served once. We took care of the other four times when he was elected president of the Dominican Republic because we didn't want him to be president. But that's not the point. Just because these things happen in the past doesn't somehow excuse the Russians doing it to us. It says in my breadmaker warranty that foreign governments cannot give money to candidates. Correct? It's against the law. That's correct. And the Citizens United decision actually specifically says that that is still of a constitutional law. Is there hard money and soft money? Is there a work around that the Trump people can claim this was soft money being given to us by Putin, not hard money? Is that a possibility? It would still violate the disclaimer rules because when you do an independent expenditure, whether it's hard money or soft money and from whatever source, you have to identify the source. That's why you hear at the end of every ad, paid for by blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And there's no indication that, and then we saw any ads saying, paid for by Vladimir Putin. Nobody remembers seeing an ad like that. Before you go, and this is, it's an honor to have you on the show. I'm sorry for my jokes. I can't help myself. Although when you said Bulgarian actor, I didn't say Bel Lugosi. I held that. But before, I don't even think he was Bulgarian. Possibly Romanian, but go ahead. Hungarian, if I had to guess, I would say someone named Bel Lugosi is probably Hungarian. Okay. Let's go on. In the words of the great Don Rickles, that's better? Anyway, if you're ever sad and depressed, go on YouTube and just watch Don Rickles. It will cure everything. He's a miracle. Anyway. Well, you know, a lot of what he did, he would not be able to do today. The, a lot of his jokes would not be accepted today. And he'd get into trouble that, you know, would go beyond the kind of trouble that we saw this past week for Bill Maher. Obviously, I would love to talk to you for the next five hours, but you have to pack. So before you go. Why don't we tell people that I'm packing because I'm going on a trip? Okay. I mean, we don't want to leave that out there to sort of lingering grace it has to pack. That could mean any one of a number of different things. Okay. Let's try to be specific about it. I'm going on a trip. And I won't even ask you where you're going. You're entitled to that privacy. Before you go, we're obsessing on Russia. We're obsessing on Trump. It's a carnival. It's a freak show. It's bread and circuses. It's MSNBC round the clock. Meanwhile, you have a guy named Steve Bannon, who's actually winning in the White House right now. And he wants to get rid of the administrative state, but they're using the administrative state to reverse a lot of executive orders that Barack Obama instituted. What are we not paying attention to? What do you think is the single most important issue facing Americans that Donald Trump and Russia is distracting us from? Very simply, if we repeal Obamacare as the House bill would do, then 180,000 Americans will die. There it is. Alan Grayson is one of my heroes, up there with Howie Klein and Bernie Sanders. And I hope you come back. And I hope you run for office again. Thank you for your time. And sorry for my jokes. Fine, as long as they're funny, it's okay. Again, sorry for my jokes. Stay on the line for one quick second, please. If you're enjoying today's show, do me a favor and subscribe to it on iTunes Stitcher. We have a YouTube channel. It's just audio, but some people like to listen to this show on YouTube. So subscribe to our YouTube channel and do me a favor and give us a good review on iTunes. You'd be amazed how much that helps. Giving us a good review on iTunes moves us up. That's the way their algorithm works. So when you give us a good review on iTunes, you're really helping out. You have no idea. Are we rolling? Yes. All right. This is a big day for you, isn't it? It's a big deal for me. Yes. Yeah. Do you know this is going to be my... I'm not nervous. I'm not excited or anything. I'm very cool right now. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. This is my sister's favorite show. It has her two favorite people on the planet. I swear to God. Can you hear? Barely. Oh, come in. Come in. Come in. So... Hi, boys. Hi. Hi. Oh, my God. Why don't you give Susie your seat and then I'll... Yes. So... Oh, it's nice and cool. Thank you. You look fantastic. Thank you for doing this. Before you go, Alex, because we're both a little nervous, last night... We don't need that. Last night, I'm on the phone with my sister and I say to her, you're going to be jealous. I swear to God, on my life, this is the truth. I say, guess who I'm having on the show? She was Susie Essman. I swear to God. I go, that's right. She said to me, she's the best friend I've never met. Yeah. What does she do? She's in a home. She's in an institution. What kind of institution? She fell headfirst off a diving board. Oh, Jesus. No, I'm kidding. I don't get it. I'm not okay. I'm like, what? She's a teacher. You're a downer. She's a teacher. She's a teacher. She's a teacher. And Alan Grayson, Congressman Alan Grayson from Florida. Yeah. My hero is my sisters in love with Congressman Alan Grayson. Is your sister married? Yes. Okay. Her two favorite people on the planet. Are me and Alan Grayson? And they're on the show. And Alan Grayson told me you're his favorite. Well, that's wonderful that I'm the favorite of Alan Grayson and your sister. And this guy. My mother, who I visited yesterday, not her favorite. Not her favorite. Well, we should call your mom. You know, she doesn't even hear the phone anymore. And I walk in yesterday. I swear it. And hi, Ma. And I haven't seen her in a while. Oh, I'm sorry you came today. I said, why? I'm more depressed than usual. More depressed than usual. So she says that every fucking time. Do I have to be clean on this podcast? No, not you. Absolutely not. All right. Where is this air? In fact, I don't know. I don't know from the freaking podcasts. Here, read the first sentence. This is what I just said. I don't have my glasses. This is, I. Fuck you, you car wash cunt. I had a dental appointment. I believe I said that. Yes. Yes. Don't say that. Poetry. It's pure poetry. Who wrote fuck you, you car wash cunt? I did. I did. I had a dental appointment. I did. Okay, we'll get to that. We'll get to that in a second. Well, actually, there's a little bit of a story behind that. But we'll get to it. Well, tell us. Well, you know, are we going to curb your enthusiasm, which airs October 1st, season nine. Wow. And we haven't shot for six years. Six years. How did Larry survive without the income? Yeah, right. Well, he did a movie and he had a Broadway play that was like the biggest hit ever. That made more money, I think, than any, you know, than Hello Dolly and Dear Evan Hansen combined. I don't know what that. So, yeah. So, you know, it's all improvised, shows completely improvised. And I never think of lines ahead of time ever because that's bad improv. You know, you always want to be in the moment and talk and listen. But the only time I ever came up with a line ahead of time was fuck you, you car wash cunt. I had a dental appointment because I had to because I was just walking into the scene. That's the scene where it's the restaurant opening and Paul Sand is the great Paul Sand is the chef who has Tourette's syndrome and they all start cursing to make him feel comfortable. And I walk in and I think Cheryl's cursing at me and I had to immediately say something to her. So it wasn't, you know, a scene where we're in conversation. So that's the only time I ever came up with a line ahead of time. And my call time was something like, you know, 6 p.m. and I didn't shoot till 6 a.m. So I had many hours to come up with that line. That's the episode where they think he's a survivor. He has the... Yes, they think he's a Holocaust survivor. Yes, because he has the number. He has a number on his arm, but it's actually his lottery numbers. So do you know where that idea came from? No. I used to be very good friends with Jeff Garland until he just became too famous for me. Not to be discussed on air. Not to be discussed. No, no, no. But no, no, no, no. I don't mean that. I mean that it's just like, he doesn't have time for me. But he used to hang out at my house. We had a next door neighbor. I won't give her name, who was a racist. And they always said she was a survivor. And I had small kids at the time. They forgave everything she said. Right, because she's a Holocaust survivor. She's a survivor. She's a survivor. And she would say, yes, the, I won't repeat what she, but she would say in front of my kids, I wouldn't rent to them. Not those kind of things. Yeah, yeah, the element. That I have to protect my investment. I would, you do not want them in the neighborhood. And I would adamantly say in front of my small children, no survivor of a concentration camp would ever talk that way. Anybody who knew. Who had been so persecuted. Right. Would have some, you know, Rachmanus, as we say. Yes. So I used to go out to the driveway. We shared a driveway and my then wife would be talking to this woman and I'd be searching her arm for her numbers. I didn't believe that there was a number on her. And I said, look that number up, kids. Look for her number. I guarantee you there's no number on that woman. And they couldn't find the number. And I said, maybe it was unlisted. You're right. But I told that to Larry. He told that. Jeff told that to Larry. And then Larry said, maybe he's writing down. Maybe she's writing down. Lottery number. Yeah. And so did you ever find out if she was a survivor? I don't. I think she was and is. And then we, well, that's an interesting. It's Stockholm Syndrome-esque. It's like The Night Porter. Do you ever see that movie with Charlotte Rampling and Dirk Bogart many, many years ago? Well, anyway. But I'm going to ask you about TCM in a second. We also had another episode called The Survivor, which was a mix up between Larry's father had a friend who was actually a Holocaust survivor and a guy from the TV show Survivor came to dinner. And it was they, you know, they thought they were going to have something in common. We'll talk about Curb later because it's an obsession with people. I know. To the point, is it, is it a pain in the neck to live in New York? Yeah. Where people are obsessed with that show? Not that much. I mean, every now and then I get somebody really annoying who's begging me to tell them to go fuck themselves, you know? And it's like, that's my job. I don't walk around. You know, I'm in the produce section at Fairway. I'm not like, you know, and every now and then they push me to the point where I really, I don't know. I'm not that recognizable. Like Jeff, for example, is so recognizable because he's big with that big head and, you know, he's loud. And people don't always recognize me. And if they do, they usually just say, I love you. You make me laugh. And, you know, it's not sometimes they'll somebody, the woman said to me yesterday, I don't want to bother you. And you're probably tired of hearing this, but I love you. I'm like, I'm really not tired of it. I'm not that tired of it. Well, that's a sweet way to be approach. Yeah. And most people are sweet about it. People, celebrity, people are weird when they see you on TV. You know, they, it's like some, they make this eye contact thing and they want something, whatever. But in New York, most people are very lovely about it. So, and it's not like it happens to me all that often. Right. Susie and Jeff, Susie Green and Jeff, they're married, they're separated, they get back together again. Is Susie Green, as antagonistic as she is towards Jeff, is she understanding of men and forgiving of men? There are a lot of things that he does. She lets them have it. But does Susie Green understand the nature of men better than most women do? I think she does. And I think that, you know, you see her as antagonistic to Jeff. I don't see her that way. I see her as constantly being provoked by Jeff and Larry. So like, you know, her anger that's out there is not, it's, I mean, especially Larry, he's almost always provoking her. You know, he gets her kid drunk. He steals her dog. He gets them kicked out of the country club. He ruins her dinner party. He, but, but if you notice, she'll kick him out of the house and get the fuck out of my house. One of my favorite things is to kick him out of my house. And then the next day it's like, hi, La, want to come to my dinner party tonight? You know, they, that's, they're like brother and sister in that way. It's always forgiven. I think that Susie, she, well, like many long-term marriages, there's an understanding. You know, there's an understanding. I don't think she really gives a shit if Jeff cheats on her. I don't think she could care less as long as she has the house she wants. She has the money she wants. He shows up at the events she needs to show up to. He's, you know, it's, it's a partnership that they have. Their sex life is, you know, what do you think their sex life is after all these years? Sammy's, what, 24, 25? They've been married 26, 27 years. You think she wants to have sex with him? I don't think so. And how much of- And he's always cheating on her. He's always cheating on her. Always cheating, which is a little, not, not always believable. Okay, so, so how much of the, I don't want to say abuse, but the gastrine, is that the- Yeah, gastrine. Gastrine, that means to yell at. Yes. How much of that is pleasurable for both Susie Green and Jeff Green? Well, you know, it's interesting. Different seasons, for Susie, it's always pleasurable. The thing about Susie Green, that, why I love to play her, she's not me. I mean, that's another thing that's weird when people come up to you on the street. They think you're her, and she's not me at all. I have no interest to play me. I'm with me all the time, which I'm happy to be. You know, some people, you look at them, you're like, they're with them all the time? Right. 24, 7, they were, it's horrifying to think to you, you're with Donald Trump 24, 7, that that's who he's spending all his time with. I get to be with me, it's a delight. But I don't want to be with me when I'm acting. Susie Green is so, she's so comfortable in her anger. She's so reactive. You know, you say something to her, boom, she responds. You know, there's no analysis. There's, she never thinks she's wrong. She never second, that's why she could wear those outfits. Because she puts it on and she's fabulous. You know, there's no second guessing in her mind. She thinks Cheryl dresses like shit. You know, she's so simple and conservative, no pizazz. So for Susie Green, she doesn't see herself as being abusive. She sees Jeff acts like an asshole, telling me he's a fucking asshole. And then you move on. She doesn't, she's not a Grudge Bearer. Where does that come from? Because I know people like this. I grew up with people. When I grew up, when I grew up in Mount Vernon, New York, there were all these Italian girls. That were so comfortable in their skin. Like their mothers really loved them. I never had that experience, you know. But they were so comfortable in their skin. And there was this one girl that I went to high school with who was tough, you know. And I remember like, I would hear her in the locker room, the gym locker room, she'd be like, she thinks who the hell she is. You know, she'd always like be looking for, but she- She thinks who the hell she is. Yeah, she never questioned. And everything, she used to always say, everything, everybody was like a letter. He's an A-hole. You know, she would never say asshole. He's an A-hole. He's an F in, you know, F in, you know, whatever. D-bag. You know, she would always use these initials. But I wonder what ever happened to her. I could probably look her up on Facebook. But she- An F-book. An F-book. You're one of my favorite Facebook posters. David Feldman, he's so fucking funny. That means a lot to me. But let's stay focused. Anyway, so there were these girls and they just seemed so secure. I was never secure. You know, I was- Well, I'm a comic. I was so deeply insecure my entire life. And these girls seemed so secure and never questioned. And never analyzed. They just, you know, boom, boom, boom. And they were always fighting and had opinions. Like, who the hell does she think she is to wear sneakers into the- You know, it was always like a- And they had a very strict code of behavior. Like you were only allowed to wear such and such to such and such. And, you know, like that. And they fascinated me to be that comfortable in their skin- And that committed to those trivial values. To those trivial values. And that I- You know, there was never- It's kind of interesting to me at least. But Larry and I never discussed Suzy Green. We never discussed the character. It's kind of like she just developed. I kind of got what he wanted and started giving it to him. And he kind of got what I was doing and started writing the outlines accordingly to what I was giving him. And it was kind of a dialogue of the unconscious, how we kind of developed her. But in my head, that's who she was. Could she have been- Could it have evolved into a delicate flower? In what way? What do you mean? Could you have made a decision that the only way Jeff Green could stay married and bully somebody with his infidelities and dishonesty is by having a simple- A simple- Well, it could have. But that wasn't my choice. Is Suzy- So let's go back because I'm talking about my childhood and wrestling with certain types and the Suzy Green type. Yeah. I know very well. Yeah. Do they have self-awareness? Do they ever admit they're wrong? No. Never. No self-awareness. Are they constantly- Are they incapable? Are they incapable? She will- There are times- There have been scenes where she's- Some things happened and she's realized she's wrong and she's admitted it. And she's not- She's not committed to being right just for the sake of being right. She just really believes that she's- She doesn't really question if she feels it. She says it. She's reactive. So is- She's completely reactive. Right. You know, you're pulling from obviously a melange of people you knew and grew up with. I would assume she's not a big reader. No. No. She likes magazines. And- But she votes right. Well, she has- She has a moral compass. She definitely has a moral compass. And she's extremely loyal. I mean, she- And even with Larry and Jeff, you know, somebody goes after them. She defends them. And look how she is with Sammy, her daughter. She's incredibly protective and loyal. And just believes her daughter is the most brilliantly talented child that ever lived when she's really a locks, you know? I haven't heard that since my childhood. Thank you. You just brought back a locks. Oh my goodness. But no, she does not. She doesn't have a tremendous amount of self-awareness. But she's a good person. If you're in trouble- You go to her. If you are sick and dying. She will be at your side. She steps up. She steps up. She's loyal. She's a good friend. She's just- You know, she's not- She's not that complicated. You know, she's simple in a certain way. She has her belief systems and that's- And it's so freeing to be her. She knows right from wrong. Correct. And she steps up. That's right. And nothing is gonna- And she'll fight for it. Uh-huh. Yeah. She'll fight for it. And that can be any culture. I think we tend to think that is the Jewish woman, but you just said she was Italian. Well, that was the Italian girls I grew up with. Uh-huh. You know, that were like these- these kind of tough girls who were very, very secure. You know, different. It was a different kind of a upbringing than I had. Mm-hmm. You're tough. But you're not tough. There's vulnerability. Let's talk about stand-up because- Yeah. When you started- 1983. We started at the same time. Yeah. What were you doing before you did stand-up? Before I was doing stand-up, I was 28 when I started. Is it true? I heard that you were one of the original cocaine cowboys. I was. I was a drug dealer. I was a drug dealer. Remember the cocaine cowboys? I don't remember that. It was this woman who ran this whole drug trade. I wasn't a big drug dealer. And I said, can I just say that I wasn't- I'm not proud of it, you know. But- Who were you dealing drugs? I was- Okay. By the way, can you talk about this? Yeah, yeah. I could talk about it. There's a statute of limitations? I assume. I wasn't a big drug. It wasn't like I was running a cartel. Here's how it went down, okay? I was waitressing. Let me ask you some questions. You answer the questions, I'll ask them. Okay. Okay. What drugs did you deal? Pot and Coke. Pot and Coke. Yeah. And this was in the late 70s. Early 80s. Early 80s when everybody was dealing Coke. Yes. It was in a New York? Yes. The Rockefeller drug laws. Yes. Very strict. Yes. Very, very strict. Right. You could have gone to prison forever. I could have. Were you aware of the Rockefeller drug laws? I don't think I really thought about it, you know. Having children now in their- Well, now they're all in their mid to late 20s, but you know, when you have kids, there's this thing that happens when their teens in early 20s where their cerebral frontal cortex is fully formed. They don't understand risk. They don't understand risk. They don't understand consequences. And I saw it. I would see it. They think they know everything. And I thought I knew everything. And I thought I knew exactly what I was doing. Now, that being said, my boyfriend was the person who set me up as the drug dealer. And I would get it from him. It's like he set his wife up in a little home business, you know, was that kind of thing. And I would- Did you find that demeaning that you had to rely on your boyfriend to have your own business? He couldn't deal with it because he would do it. I didn't do it. So I could cut it up and pack it. I was not interested in it, but he couldn't touch it. Are you sure you want to talk about this? Yeah, I don't care. Did you cut it with Manit? What did you use to- It was like a baby laxative or something. That's Manit. Is that what that is? Yeah. But then I would deal to like business guys, like Wall Street guys who thought I was so cute, you know, this cute little girl coming in and selling, you know. And it was not that it wasn't, you know, it was still drugs, but it felt, it was a different feel. This was pre-crack. Right. So it had a different, it was just a party. And everybody was doing it. Everybody was doing it. I didn't think it was, and I was dealing it to these rich guys who just, I would show up at their office and they'd hand me cash and it wasn't like a whole thing. Was it fun? No, it wasn't fun. It wasn't not fun. It was money. Were you a good businesswoman? Yeah. I've always been a good businesswoman. But it was supplementing my waiting, you know, what allowed me to eat out a lot and take cabs at that age. And I wasn't a comic yet. When I graduated from college, I thought I wanted to be an actress. And then I moved to Manhattan. I started taking acting classes and it just bored the shit out of me. You know, scene study class you would do with some, you'd show up at your scene studies, partners, house, apartment, and you know, first you'd have a cup of tea and talk. I know. I hated it. It was horrible. Horrible. And then it was like, you know, some gay guy you had to make out with in the scene, you know, or something. And it was just like nothing was working about it. And I was bored and then I just left. Right. And I was just waitress, I was lost. I was lost. I was in a bad relationship. I was deeply depressed, dealing drugs to make money. I didn't know what I was just lost. Did your mother know? No. No, it's not something I would have shared with. She knew I was a waitress. But you kept a secret from your mother. I didn't know very few women. I never told my mother anything. Starting at like four years old. Really? And I remember the first time I lied to her and didn't tell her the truth. Do you remember what the lie was? Yeah, I do. I do. It was, I was maybe about four and my parents were having a barbecue in the backyard and the doorbell rang and I answered the door and there was a couple that came and the man, something about the man of the couple frightened me. I don't know what it was. And I went up to my room and I got into bed and I felt scared. And a while later my mother came to look for me and she asked me what was wrong and I lied to her. I told her I had a stomach ache. Because I didn't want to tell her what I really felt. And do you know why that man scared you? I have been trying to figure that out now for 58 years. Okay. And I haven't. All right. He reminded me of something that was scary. I think you're the only woman I've ever met who does not tell her mother everything. Really? I think so. No, I never told my mother anything. That's interesting. I never told her. I didn't feel safe telling her anything. And so you've continued to have a relationship on a need to know basis. I would say up until recently I had that kind of relationship with my mother. Yeah. Because they will, I love my mother. I'm blessed. She's in my life and has been, you know, when I was, when I had small kids and a wife, she took, you know, my mother was out of the, you know. Which is huge. Grandma's a very important relationship. Right. But, you know, she was kind of there, but she wasn't. But now I have my mommy in my life. And, but while I was raising the kids and living that life, I kept her on a need to know basis because what certain types of parents do is you tell them 20 things and they find the one thing to fix it on. And then it doesn't stop. Well, yeah. And well, my mother, I never told her anything because she always made it, whatever I told her would be, it would become a negative. Did you, let me ask you this. Isn't it a good example? Yeah, yeah. When I was just shooting season nine of Curb, Kuala Rupiah, what are you doing? I'm going to L.A. to shoot Curb. Well, I hope they give you more to do this time. They never have. They give you so little to do. And I hope you have a bigger part. So one of the things I've learned about my mother is that she's funny. Oh, really? I had this epiphany in the past four years. I mean, she taught me that the Sopranos was funny. Isn't your daughter a comic or was trying to be a comic? She's a comic now. She is a comic now. So do you think it's genetic? I said to her, you couldn't be a stripper. All this work I did to abuse you emotionally. I would not want one of my kids to be a comic. I understand that. But you know what? As I say to the young people that ask for my advice, you better, this has to be the only thing that you could do. I mean, that's how it is. Yeah. It has to be you have to do this. I heard that on the Tonys last night. You know, the couple of people accepting, thanking their children to do be it, let me do this thing that I have to do. Right. Doug Benson was one of the original podcasters. And this woman, Hemda from Keith and the Girl, writes books about how to be a podcaster. And they will tell you everything you need to know about having a podcast. And you're really just a little part of you that says, but why are you sharing all the secrets? It doesn't matter what the secrets are. You got to do this all the time. I could tell you every secret about acting or comedy and comedy. Stand up especially. I can tell you everything you need to know. Now go do it. Go do it. You know, the thing about stand up is you have to do it knowing nothing in front of people. I mean, it's not like acting. Well, you can't take an acting class and you do scene study and whatever. Stand up. You can only do it in front of an audience. And when you first start, you know nothing. I mean, now I got tricks up the fucking wazoo to rely on, you know. But when you're first starting, you know nothing and you have to do it in front of an audience. Right. I mean, it's the scariest thing in the entire world. It's insane. Right. I'm still scared. Is it still an act of desperation? I wonder if my daughter is doing it. I hope she's not doing it out of desperation. When I started, it was out of desperation. Me too. I don't think it, maybe this is, you know, I don't think it's still being done out of desperation. Here's an interesting, here's an interesting thing. Abbey Jacobs, Finn and Elana Glazer. I love, I, I love them. They're fantastic. You're really, you're in girl. Yes, I'm Elana's mother. So, and I just love these two. I mean, they are the real deal. And they came up through UCB, which is very different than coming up in the clubs like we came up. But they don't, they do not scream UCB to me. They are like the opposite. Well, they're a little, but, but they said to me once, who was it that started UCB? I'm blocking. Amy Poehler? No, no. Matt Besser? Matt Besser. No. Matt Walsh. I, and I don't want to give anybody credit for something that they weren't, I'm not clear, but I think that they told me that he said that improv is for funny people who had good parents as opposed to stand-up is for funny people who had shitty parents. Wow. And I think there's something to that, you know? So I see these, or maybe it's different stand-up now. I see our generation. Slow down, hang on. Before you, hang on. I got a process of that. Give me one second. Okay. But I think that the stand-up generation now is different than our generation. I think about the people that we came, or our generation of stand-ups. And we were all, I think we were darker. You know, I think there was a, that we were a darker soul than, well, certainly than these improv comics, or then they all feel safer, you know? Although, although, although going back and looking at Don Rickles, who I know you're a fan of, and I've been YouTubing him, how is it just our looking behind and not recognizing that these young people have murky souls? Well, everybody has a murky soul if they have one, you know? But I mean, I could just say my stand-up and my coming from a desperate place to do it, which is the only way I would have done it, is because it's so hard. I've got nothing to lose. Right. You almost have to be desperate to do it, because why else would you do this crazy thing? Right. Unless, you know, like your daughter who's brought up in the world, and it's a little bit different. What was the point? The mistake I made with my kids was this. I made sure to take them to the most horrific stand-up sets that I was about to do. I would take, if I was going to do a bet, I wanted them to see daddy fail and then go get ice cream. Okay. That's interesting, David. I wanted them to see me just take it on the chin, fail, be humiliated, and then we go get ice cream and it never happened. Or, you know, that was fun. And I really was at that point where I had been doing it for 10, 12 years when I started taking them. And I really, you know, I was more insecure when I killed in front of them than I was when I... Why? Because when you kill, you can smell it. So you want to know, did that joke work? Did that joke work? But if it's a complete bomb, it's, you know, it's purging. You're a good bomber. Yes, I am. Thank you. Well, there are people who are brilliant at, you know, I mean, Gilbert or Colin, you know, people who bombed beautifully. I was not that person. I was too addicted to laugh so that if I was bombing, I would find some way to get them. Right. I don't want to talk about me, but when I don't, when I take time off from stand-up and come back to it, it takes me a while to remember that I'm not supposed to get laughs all the time. Yeah, well, that's also the other thing about stand-up that's different than any other kind of comedy. You know, do you ever go to a Broadway show and they're laughing? Horrible. They're laughing and you're like, oh my God, I could kill with this audience. I know. They're so easy with the shit they laugh at. I know. I know. It's infuriating. And, you know, we came up in clubs. You had to have a joke. What is it? Every 15, 20 seconds. It's like there have been, I have had some, I'm not going to, just let me just, we've all had friends who've done plays. Yeah. And a couple of times I was tempted to stand up and say, stop laughing. This is not funny. Just stop it. You're hurting me. This is not funny. You're making me angry. Now continue with the show. Who were your idols growing up? Don Rickles. Rickles. You know, I wake up, my brother and I would set the alarm if he was on Carson and watch Rickles. It was the quickness of him. You know, I mean, just the brilliant quickness of him. Mel Brooks, when I was five, my parents got 2000 year old man album. I memorized the entire thing. I'd stand up on the kitchen table, do the, do both parts, do Carl and Mel and do both parts. And actually. Have you met them? Yes, which is a great thrill of my life to have met the producers episode. Yeah. But I, and I met Carl years earlier, but just to meet your idols. And frequently you meet your idols. You're disappointed. Those two now, they're just lovely. They, they, you know, the thing is, you know, they were the ones for my generation where you learned how to be fun. You didn't judge Carl Weiner and Mel Brooks. They were just funny. So you would say, well, I have, you know, I would hang on their every word because they're the Rosetta Stone of comedy. And they, they were brilliant. And it was mostly improv. Do you know, they'd have us, they'd know their premises and then they'd go off. But I remember my father who thought he was funny, but was not. And he would do a line from the album and he would get the cadence wrong or the timing of the rhythm. It was like nails on a platform to me. It was like somebody's singing off key or flat or, you know, and it was so ingrained in my head, the timing. And then there would be times when I'd be on stage and I'd hear my cadences being like the cadences from that album because it was such an early imprint on me. Was there a lot of laughter in your home growing up? With my siblings. We were, we were always funny together. You have, you have a brother and a sister? Two sisters. Two sisters. One is an accomplished musician. I've heard some of her. She's a wonderful composer. Amazing. And your brother writes about wine. Wine, food. And my little sister is a Broadway producer. And she's a general manager of Broadway shows. What does that mean? Have you ever heard of Wicked? I know Winnie Holtzman. Oh, Winnie's great. Winnie played. Winnie's been on the show. Yes. But Winnie played on Curb. She played Larry's therapist in season seven, I think it was. She's terrific. And of course, Paul, her husband Paul Dooley plays Cheryl's father. And just Paul Dooley. He's so great. I was on, first of all, if you look up the 3,000 episodes of this podcast. That many? Yeah. I'm a very sick man. There are about four years where it's all Paul Dooley. Is that true? Yeah. And I played the angry Jew in the baptism episode. That's right. Paul Dooley and I hung out all day. Yeah. And on my wall for years was a picture of me with Paul Dooley. And then one day he just said, I like your radio show. I think the sketches are funny. And he started coming in and doing all our sketch. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Paul Dooley is a miracle. He is a genius. He is. He is beyond what he is. He's one of those people who can do everything. He's second city, isn't he? Yes. He's born fully formed. West Virginia. Just came out of West Virginia. Uh-huh. And just was. And just was. And just was Paul Dooley. And Winnie, Winnie Holtzman created my so-called life. Right. And wrote Wicked. And the last time, and I'm going to shut up, but I just remember this. You could talk as much as you want. We had a Christmas. Feel more interesting to me than I am. No. Yeah. Before my marriage fell apart, a lot of my time was spent trying to convince my children that I was worth hanging out with. Worth hanging out with. This was. And we had a Christmas party. This was about four years ago. And Winnie Holtzman and Paul Dooley showed up to my Christmas party. And I said to my daughters and my sons, come to the Christmas party. I know you're teenagers. What? I'm not. I'm just show up. Bring all your friends. I will prove to you that I am worth hanging out. I'm worth hanging out with. And they showed up and they look over there and she sees Paul Dooley from 16 candles and breaking away. And then I introduce her to Winnie Holtzman, the creator of my so-called life. And about five. You got creds, baby. Five teenage girls stayed for about three hours at the old man's Christmas party because of Paul Dooley and Winnie Holtzman. Here's the thing that annoys me about that story. A lot of things annoy me about that story. Don't they know who you are? You're David Feldman. That's what I would. You're David fucking Feldman. That's right. My kids do that to me. Like I'm nobody to them. I'm nothing to them, which really is how it should be. Until they don't want to be around you, then you do anything. How old are your kids? They're in their 20s now. How many, you got four? I got a lot. How many? I got a lot, like five. You met them. I haven't met all of them. Yeah. You got five? Jesus Christ. And the thing I used to do was they would hang out with me until they were 11. And then they outgrew you. Well, they have. They find other friends. And I would say, I'd literally and drove my wife crazy. I'd be driving them to their friend's house. And I'd say, does Bobby, was he on MTV? Was he good? Go, go play with Bobby. Go play with Bobby and he'll tell you what it's like. Ask him about Jay Leno and David Letter. Go ahead. He was doing one-up resume with kids. They would open the door and he'd be running into Bobby's house. Go in. You go in there. I'm going to go talk to Colin Quinn from Tough Crowd, your favorite show. Go play with that loser. But it should be that way. I know my kids, I'm nothing to them. Nothing. I got one kid. You know, you know, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, you know, I'm more famous than that person. They don't care. I got a kid in Germany. Really? Yeah. Hanging out with his girlfriend in Germany. Just graduated from college. And I'm in therapy and the shrink says to me, that's the way it's supposed to be. He said, wouldn't you want your kid in his mid-20s staying home and living with you? I said, yeah. Yeah. I do. You don't want him to have a life? No, I don't. No. I don't. I thought this was permanent. But I like having adult relationships with my kids. It's a nice thing, you know. Yeah. Well, yeah, let's go back to you. Okay. Alan Grayson loves you. So comedy was important to your siblings. Where are you in- I'm number three. You're number three. Of four. But my little sister's way younger. So I was the baby really, which was a good thing because I grew up in extremely dysfunctional home. So I kind of escaped because I was- When you say dysfunction, did you come from a divorced family? No, not a divorced family. They stayed together and hated each other, you know. Did they fight? Do you mind if I ask you a couple questions? No, go ahead. I'll tell everything. I don't need that. My father's dead. My mother can't hear. Yes, they fought nonstop. Did they- So going back to what I've learned from my mother four years ago, I learned my mother has a very perverse sense of humor. I didn't know that the Sopranos was a comedy until I sat down and watched it with her. I'd seen every episode 20 times all of a sudden I go, oh, this is funny. And then I started listening to my mother and my kids. I go, oh, she's funny. The fighting that went on between your mother and your father. How much of that was theatrical, was venting, was fun for them? Drama. Drama they enjoyed. It was not that with them. It was not- Are you sure? No, I'm not sure. But, you know, I just had like a flash of a couple of, man, me seven, eight months ago. You know, they started forming you of things in their old age. And my mother told me, your father was a very selfish lover. And what was interesting about that to me, which first of all was like, hey, you know. But what was interesting about that was I always thought that's what kept them together. I always thought that they had a hot sex life. They did. He was a selfish lover. But that means that she was demanding of him in bed. Something, I guess. She wouldn't say, to me, what she's saying is, you know, we had a lot of sex. I had a, he was selfish. I had to make him do- I had to make him do, yeah. But that, and but he was also, my father was a big philanderer. So there was always really ugly scenes. She caught him with this one, with that one. Can women forgive that? Because I'd be going back to Suzy Green. Can a woman be with a man if you're married after he- Yes. I mean, I see it differently now than I used to. When I was younger, it was like, oh, the guy cheats, he's out. But when you get older, you understand things differently. I think it's really hard to get married to somebody. Look, all our parents married young, you know, to get married to somebody young, having kids, you know what it's like to raise kids and the stress of that and the stress it puts on a relationship and to stay together. I think that's almost impossible. Do you think Suzy Green, as you said, she forgives, she doesn't care better, better you should sleep with Jeff than I do? She has a certain status in her Beverly Hills life, you know, well actually live in Pacific Palisades. But whatever it is, she has a certain showbiz status being Jeff Green's wife. He's the manager of Larry David and Richard Lewis and many, many other famous people. And that gives her a certain status. If she wasn't Jeff Green's wife, she wouldn't have that. Can I tell you what Marty's short? I'm name dropping, but I want to tell you one of the funniest things. But it was last week. I was talking to Marty Short. Who's the funniest and loveliest? Yes, he is. Yes, he is. So he says to me, give me some dish. Give me some dish on your divorce. And I said, I said, well, you know, it's pretty simple. He goes, why, why, why, just tell me something not. And I said, picture yourself on a boat on a river on David Geffen's boat with Dianne. So he says, I'm already there anytime I talk to you. I'm imagining I'm on a boat with David Geffen and Dianne. So it's like the guy making love to Cameron Mannheim, who's fantasizing about Morgan Fairchild. Whenever I talk to you, I'm thinking of being on a boat with David Geffen. I said, imagine telling these people that perhaps my wife might have said to me, I'm tired of living in Los Angeles and being known as Mrs. David Feldman. Wow. And he said, without skipping a beat, your wife saying she's tired of being Mrs. David Feldman is like Elizabeth Taylor saying she's tired of being Mrs. Larry Fortensky. But it's not. He was kidding. So does a. This is why it took me a very long time to get married because it took me a long time to find a guy secure enough that was fine with all that. He doesn't mind me being the center of attention. I never bought into Prince Charles being jealous of Dianne. It turns out he really was. Wow. You know, Feud is going to be. Did you watch Feud this season? I saw a little of it. It was good. But next season it's going to be Charles and Dianne. Ooh. Yeah. Interesting. So do women in Hollywood still identify as Mrs. Jeff Green? And that's she goes someplace and. I have no idea because I don't live in Hollywood and I don't know many of those people. But I think in life they are. Look at our president and his wife. I mean, there are always women that marry for money and they marry for status. And there are men who do that as well. I can't. I used to have a bit where I talk about how everybody used to say she married him for his money. And they would always say that in a disparaging way. They never said he married her for her big tits. It's the same fucking thing. You know what I mean? It's the same thing. We all, people make arrangements. People make arrangements to get what they need in life. It's not always love and intimacy. My mother, for example, my father was a doctor. She liked being a doctor's wife. She liked being. What kind of doctor was he? He was an oncologist, an internist with a subspecialty in oncology. That's tough. Yeah. But she liked having the MD plates. And she liked being, you know, I remember when Joy Behor, as you know, is my best friend. I love, I, oh, were you, you know, I had dinner with her last night. But she, I love Joy. She's the best. She met my mother when she first met them. And she said, met my father. She said, oh, hello, Mr. Restman. I mean, my mother said, it's doctors. What kind of dentist are you, Doctor? She liked being the doctor's wife. And that's a tough, that, that's a whole class of family, especially in oncology, where you play second fiddle. Totally. We were nothing. Yeah. He had real people dying and his patients worshiped him and he saved lives. And we'd be like, daddy, you know, what is it the same thing when you have people, you know, hundreds, thousands of people laughing at you and then you go home and your kids treat you like crap? Right. How come you never give me chemo? Right. You give chemo to everybody. So we have to be respectful of your time. There's a myth about Larry David, that he was a horrible standup. No, that's not true. But that's the, that's the legend that he's perpetuated. Yeah. Right? Here's what I would say about that. Do you have something else to say before you want me to come? No, it's a myth that he was a bad standup. How much time do I have? I, you have, you have a good amount of time. You have 20 minutes. Okay. So let's hurry up. Larry was, first of all, his material was brilliant because he's such a great writer. What Larry, if I recall, that's where I first met him was a catcherizing star in, I don't know, 1986, 87. He, he was, Larry would be the guy, you know, he's killing, everybody's laughing. One woman looks at her watch and that's it. He walks off stage. You know, that's what Larry was like. So people would come into the room to watch him. He would, comedians would, because we always knew something interesting was going to happen, you know. But he was not a terrible standup comic. Now Larry's gone back on stage in the past few years. And killed because they know exactly, they're coming to see Larry, David now. So it's a very, one of the things in standup is it's very different when you draw. Right. Then when you're just, you know, on the lineups, we used to be on a lineup with 15 other comedians. But he was, I will move on and you're absolutely right that he is known as a failed comic who had a turn to writing. He had a lot of success as a performer. He did Fridays. Right. He was a very, and he was a very good comic. He was not one to ever pander to an audience. And he wasn't, he wasn't a person the way that I am that's so deeply connected to an audience. He wasn't connected to an audience in that way. You know, he didn't connect. And so that's just Larry. But he's also by the way, and I know this because I work with him over and over and again, he's a really good actor. He's a really good actor. Yeah. Yeah. So you did some writing. You wrote on Caroline's Comedy Hour. Who was on that? Do you know that? Can I tell you what the writing staff on that? I was going to ask you who was on that staff? That writing staff was, well, Colin Quinn was the host, so he was writing with us. It was me, Louis C.K., David Tell, and John Stewart. That was the writing staff. So of them, who did you think would stay as a writer? Stewart. You didn't think he was going to go on to be a... Well, I didn't not think it, but he's a really good writer. Yeah. Yeah. You know, he's just a really... And a tell. And a nice guy. Yeah, great guy. Unless you're working for him. But go ahead. Oh, really? I don't know. Monster. Go ahead. Really? Eileen Warnows. Oh, I didn't ever not think he was going to be great on camera, but I was always really impressed with his writing. His writing was just really, really good. And a tell was able to really write a joke. I mean, he really knows how to write a joke. I don't know how to write a joke. Right. You know, he knows... Sorry, I'm not saying write that. No, but I don't. I'm not a joke writer. You know, he knows how to write a joke. If white men didn't create this ceiling, would you have been happy as a writer? Had it been open to you? Because it's not available to women. No, I had to be a performer. I was a performer at heart. I've always been a better performer than a writer. In my old age, I prefer writing. Like I just finished the first draft of a novel that I have to get back to. What's the name of your book, by the way? My... Susie says? What was Susie saying? What was Susie saying? But... Did you feel like a fraud coming to work every day? This is how writers feel. As a stand-up? But well, yes, stand-ups who turn to writing, they leave home and they have a briefcase and they shower and they shave and they're going to work with all the other businessmen. I'm a businessman. I'm a businessman. And they... This is what it's like to be a businessman. And they... I never had a lot of writing jobs. And then you go into work, you get through that door and you're on the fraud. Yeah. I'm an absolute... I felt like I was a fraud sometimes as a stand-up. Sometimes on stage, you feel that little lie crawling up your spine. Do you know what I mean? Never. Really? Never. That's so interesting. No, I'm so desperate up there. Have you ever turned on the audience and cursed at them like Susie Green? Infrequently. Infrequently. I think that when you're... Not as a joke, but seriously. No, I know. It has over the... I've been doing this for what, 34 years, something like that. In the beginning, I think that I would tend to be more defensive and angry towards the audience out of a defensiveness. Have you ever come off stage, not able to do your time, gone into the dressing room and cried? No. Never. No. You're a better man than I am. No. Performing always came some... I don't want to say easy because it's really hard, but I took to performing. I liked performing. I don't like it anymore so much. Did your parents go out and see comedy? When I was a kid? Yeah. No. Did they go out? They went to the theater all the time. Together. All the time. Yeah, to Broadway, all the time. And what... Do you remember them coming home from something where they just... They had every cast album. That's all I heard when I was a kid. And my fair lady in the pajama game in South Pacific and West Side Story, and that was like the soundtrack of my life, those things. And did you, at one point, think you could get your parents approval if you appeared on Broadway? Well, my mother's... This is another... My mother's very theater-oriented. She grew up in the theater. But is it the Yiddish theater? My great-grandfather was in the Yiddish theater. He was an actor in the Yiddish theater. My mother comes from a theatrical family. They were all opera singers and like that. Wow. Your family, I looked up your family. They're amazing. They're good. They're all your brothers and sisters. They're a little nutty and interesting. Yeah. But my mother... I was nominated two years ago, I think, for a Critics' Choice Award for Broad City. And I called my mother and I was... But blah, I'm nominated for a Critics' Choice Award. Oh, not a Tony. Why would I be nominated for a Tony? I'm not on fucking Broadway, ma! But maybe she's being funny. No, she's not being funny. How do you know? Because I know her, David. Ask her. She's not being funny. Maybe you're internalizing her sense that you were... She's not being funny. Try asking her. The theater is everything to her. The theater television is like, you know, the low. Who was in your family? Who in your family was in the Yiddish theater? My great-grandfather. What did he do? He was an actor. He was an actor in the Yiddish theater and he was also in silent films. He was in... But he was such a Jew, you could hear him anyway. But he was in a movie with Lon Chani in a silent film and I have pictures of him. He was an actor in Yiddish theater and that. You never met him, though, right? No, he was dead before I was born. Wow, that's amazing. And then my uncle was a director. He was like... He directed One Life to Live for many years. My great-uncle. The soap opera. The soap opera and he was a theater director and then his son, my cousin Michael, who I was at the Yankee Game with the other one, he's a television director. Your mother's brother. Yeah, no, my mother's uncle. Your mother's uncle. And your father? Nothing. Now, his family was from the shtetl on the Lower East Side, right, near where we are right now. So he just became a doctor through... My father, interestingly enough, never graduated high school, was kicked out of high school for truancy and then was drafted World War II and they gave him IQ tests and he was headed like a genius IQ. So they put him through six months pre-med and then sent him to medical school. So he never graduated college or high school and went to medical school. The army put him through and became a doctor. Wow. Yeah, he was an interesting guy. So he didn't have like a liberal arts education? Nothing, no. He was as big, he was an autodidact. I was a huge reader, huge reader. So he felt... Which is something he gave to me that I'm very grateful for. You're a big reader. Yeah. How many hours a day do you read? I don't know what kind of question is that. That's a question I ask everybody. Really? I read a lot. Do you feel guilty reading? No. Do you feel like you should be writing, working, exercising? No, because I make the excuse that it's part of my... Yeah? You know, it's part of like feeding my brain. Did you read today? Uh, only the paper. What paper? New York Times. How long did you spend reading it? Not that long, because I had a busy day. How long? I don't know, 45 minutes. And you're able to relax and let everything go? Yeah. That's a gift. Why, you can't do that? I... That to me is the definition of mental health. It's... Unfortunately for me, lying on my back with my Kindle... You feel guilty about that? No, no, no. If I can go 12 hours straight reading... Yeah. I'm thinking, wow, man, I'm doing okay. But if a woman is visiting my apartment and sees me doing that, she goes, are you okay? And I say, yeah, this is... Does she feel neglected if you're doing that? She might say, I'm going to leave. And I go, what? This is fun. I'm reading. Don't you want to watch me read? You know what my favorite thing to do is in the morning is my husband and I make coffee and we lie in bed having our coffee, both reading the paper or magazines or whatever. And then we tell each other, oh, listen to this. You be you. I'll be me as your husband. Okay. Tell me, as you just saw something... Did you see what the asshole did today? Will you shut the fuck up? I'm reading... I am reading the... No, that's me. I'm reading the Korematsu decision here. Yeah, I have any re... How fucking hard it is to read a Supreme Court decision written in the 40s? What my husband knows to do right now is he'll say, can I talk if I'm reading? Because a lot of times I'd be like, I'm reading something, goddammit. I should marry Marley Maitland. She's Jewish. She's a lovely girl too. Yeah. I could fix you up. You know, Gilbert, anyway, you have to give Joy Behar a message for me because I work for her, but she's never met me and she ruined my marriage. What do you mean she ruined your marriage? I wrote for her show on Current. And she thinks you're very funny, by the way. We discussed it because I had dinner with her last night and said, I'm coming here. She's like, oh, he's so funny. We've never met. Really? She met... Nathan Lane got me the job working for her. Okay. And I was in LA at the time and I would get up at six in the morning to write for her in my underwear. She doesn't need to know that, David. Well, what happened is that's what ruined my marriage. Don't blame it on that. That's why my wife would see me in my underwear. She'd come up in my office. I'd be in my... I love... I would write in my underwear with no shirt on, writing jokes. You know, if you really cared about your marriage, you could have bought a terry cloth. But this was the first time in my career where I could write at home in my underwear with no shirt on. You have to... And apparently my wife was disgusted by that. If Judaism didn't exist, what would you be? What would you be? Well, I am not religious at all. Were you bought Mitzvahd? No. Really? No, I was not brought up. But something might... Was your brother Bar Mitzvahd? No. No. It's something my parents did right. I always found. Did you go to Hebrew school? No. I was not brought up with religion at all. First time I ever went to a temple was when I was 13 and I was invited to all the Bar Mitzvahs. Did you feel left out? No. Do you have an understanding of Judaism? Yes, I do. I do. I played a Lubavitcher on TV. But yeah, I do. But I was brought up with... My parents were both atheists. They were like left-wing, you know. Right. And they brought us up with no religion at all. But you know, here's something that bothers me. And my housekeeper is... She's evangelical. And I've had many discussions with her. That's how she was brought up. And she doesn't understand... She was brought up as a housekeeper? No, as an evangelical. Oh, okay. And I think that sometimes it's hard for her to understand... That's terrible. Well, she does now because we've been together for so many years. But sometimes people who are very religious think that if you're not brought up with religion, you have no sense of right and wrong or morality, which nothing could be further from the truth. You know, I was brought up with tremendous sense of right and wrong and morality, just not religion. I just thought of a joke. I wasn't listening to a single word you said. Let me hear. My wife is my housekeeper because she got to keep the house. That must have been an old joke, right? Sounds very handy, young man. Yeah, that's something. You're better than a Jew. You're a vegetarian, as am I. Not anymore. I was a vegetarian. You're a lapsed vegetarian? Well, I was a vegetarian for 35 years. And one year I got, Jimmy, my husband, because you run out of things to buy for birthdays and stuff, and I got him bacon of the month club. And it's like artisan bacons from all over the world. And he's making the bacon and I'm smelling it and I'm like, you know what bacon smells like? I'm like, why am I not eating this? It smells amazing. And then I ate the bacon, and then I started eating meat, free range, grass fed, and I felt I was in a way better mood all the time. So no, I'm not a vegetarian anymore. When did you fall off the way? A couple of years ago. Is your husband Jewish? No, no. So that's where the bacon comes from? Yeah, yeah. Have you ever seen pigs? They're adorable. Okay, 35 years as a vegetarian. Yeah. I will not eat, I still like to kill animals. Well, of course. Yeah, but eating them is disgusting. You know, and I, when I didn't eat them, I was, it was not a morality thing, it was just a visceral, like, you know, like how people, like I wouldn't eat dog, for example. It was that kind of visceral response, but for some reason that's gone. What's your dog's name? Popeye, he only has one eye. Was he born with that an eye? No, it was taken out before we got him. Why don't you call him Sammy? Sammy Davis. We thought of that. I went through all the one eye. Peter Falk? Can I just say, there's a lot of people who only had one eye that I didn't know. I looked it up when I got him. Who's the one? Rex Harrison, only had one eye. Claude Reigns, only had one eye. Rex Harrison, only had one eye? Sandy Duncan, we all know. Sandy Duncan. I couldn't remember that, I have a thing of Triskets. Yes, but Sammy is the obvious one, but Claude Reigns, one eye. The invisible man? Yes. Imagine if he had no eyes, he wouldn't have had to. Exactly. He could have been in something with a joke about the invisible. My penis has one eye. The minute I said penis, she looked at her watch. I got to get out of here. He discussed me. If you had a month to program, we have 12 more minutes. Okay. Where are you going? I have to go meet my nephew and I have to do a voiceover. Thor? No, that's my older nephew in Australia. I just got back from there, by the way. No, my nephew, Sean, who works for Now This News, you know that website? They do amazing, wonderful things and I'm doing a voiceover for them on some little Sean Spicer little piece they're doing. Great. If they gave you a month to program, turn a class at movies, five movies you would pick. Well, okay, five movies that I would pick. That's a tough one, boy. His Girl Friday with Rosalind Russell and Carrie Grant. Because I think it's the ultimate romantic comedy and I love the dialogue in it. I love Rosalind Russell. The More the Marrier, a George Stevens movie with Joel McCrae and Gene Arthur. Also something that I think is amazingly romantic. Oh, God, now I'm on the spot. Those are two movies that I don't remember. Oh, really? I'm going to go home. Then I would probably go with the bandwagon or another Fred Astaire or Fred and Ginger, maybe probably Swing Time. Because those are my favorite things when I'm in any kind of bad mood that makes me happy. And Gigi, see these are not boy movies. No. Battle of the Bulge or something like that. Tora, Tora, Tora. Tora, Tora, Tora, that was a far mix. And then at the risk of being so cliche, it's still my favorite movie ever, Casablanca. Still, oh, Dublin and Demity I would also go with or any Billy Wilder movie. I rewatched some like it Hot recently. Amazing. So fucking funny, so fucking brilliantly funny. But everything he did, Sunset Boulevard, some like it Hot. Did he do the apartment? Yes, in every genre. But Double and Demity is my favorite of his. Yeah. I like those dark, those noir. Before you go. Yeah. Jeff Garland. Yeah. My television husband. Yes. What's the longest conversation you had with him about something that didn't really exist? Well, not very long because he will tell you I don't tolerate that crap from him. Oh really? No, I don't tell him. He gets so annoyed because, you know, that's his whole distraction on set is, you know, his big bowl or whatever. But yeah, I don't usually, I'm just usually, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which annoys the shit out of him. But we have an understanding. So. He'll say to me, go say to Larry, so and so. I'm like, no, don't tell me what to fucking do. But Cheryl always does it. I don't. So my kids grew up when I used to be very close to Jeff. The phone would ring. It would be Jeff and you'd hear. And they knew it was Jeff. But he'd say it was Doris or something. It's vagina gentry from what a girl wants productions. Yeah, yeah. And my son would be with his friends and he'd be 10. Daddy, it's vagina gentry from what a girl wants productions. And then he would tell me that he's vagina gentry. And then the conversation. Would continue. Would be 20 minutes. We were going to go to a movie that night. Yeah. That was real. But he had, he was vagina gentry. Yeah, I know the whole routine. Yeah. And he was also Smokvon Smokerson. He's a lot of Vons. There's a lot of Vons, yeah. Smok, often. Daddy, it's Smokvon Smokerson from the station. And you get on and you say, hi, Jeff. No, I would say, hey, Smok. No, but I mean, you would know who it was. Oh, but I would go, we would go. He would say, you know. I never play along with him. We would make plans like this. Hi, it's Smokvon Smokerson from the station. I got to go pick up the t-shirt cannon, then I'll pick you up in the van. He's very inventive, my husband. Yes, he is. Well, so you're also in a new movie called Band-Aid, which got rave reviews on this show. Michael Snyder, who reviews movies for us. It's good. It's really good. I saw it a couple of weeks ago. It's a very sweet movie. And do you enjoy watching stuff that you're in? Do you watch Curb? No, I watch Curb. That's the only thing I watch. Do you laugh out loud at yourself? Do you make yourself laugh? I laugh more at Larry than at myself, you know. But yes, on Curb I make myself. I will never watch anything that I'm in if it's me, not a character. Like if I'm doing it, if I'm on, you know, Jimmy Fallon or whatever, or The View, I can't stand to watch it. I cringe. My character on Curb tickles me, so I do watch it and enjoy it. But generally I don't watch myself. I don't like to watch myself. Do you watch yourself? I figure, you know, I go back. Here's what I found, that if I go back, somebody sent me a Conan that I did seven years ago. And I went, who is that handsome devil? You're still handsome. No, but I mean, I look, I go, that guy isn't, because I can remember doing that. And I hate looking at video of me from like seven, 10 years ago, because I thought if I only could look that way now, can you do me a favor and tell Joy Behar that I'm a conservative? That just say something like, you know, I just get, you know, you have like, he acts like he's liberal. But it's not. I can tell there's something, something not right with it. You need me to tell her that. I need that. Susie Essman, will you come back? You're hard to get. Because I'm not here that much. I've been trying to get you to do this for a long time. Thank you for doing this. And I'm, just so you know, this wasn't Hollywood bullshit. I'm going to repeat what I said at the beginning. About your sister. And Alex and me. Where does your sister live? I can't tell you because 1413, Melktoast Lane, Bergenfield, New Jersey. Okay. She has a Willi May's rookie card. Really? On her bed. So if you're going to break. What do you think that's worth? I'm joking. I said running gag where I give people's home address. This is the God, this God's honest truth. You're going to be very jealous. Guess who I have on my show? Boom, Susie Essman. She says you're the best, you, Susie, are the best friend she never met. She actually saw you do a private party for a friend. And she said you were amazing. You know, to me as a stand-up, that people feel like they know me and that I'm their friend. That feels good to me. Yeah, yeah. I get that from the podcast. I don't get it from the stand-up. Because you're more yourself in the podcast. Yes, and the act, I push people away. And then this guy over here is. Yeah, Alex. It's embarrassing. I'm going to have to walk you out of here because he's going to fawn all over you. And it's. He's cute. Well, you have no idea what curb and you mean to these. That's a good thing. Yes. It's a good thing. And I will say anecdotally, who stops me on the street the most? Boys in their 20s who are huge curb fans, which is always so funny to me because we're just a bunch of old Jews on that show. I mean, there's not a one of us under 55. You know, we're all old Jews. Which just tells you that the network demographic bullshit is nonsense. It's misogas. What do you mean? That they have this demographic 18 to 25. Oh, yeah. That they only want to see 18 to 25-year-olds. Uh-uh. No. Funny is funny. You can control 18 to 25-year-olds. If I'm a network executive, I don't want to hire David Feldman or you because you know more than I do. I want to hire somebody who's hungry, who will work cheap and is malleable because they're grateful to be in the business. But to put on the air? Sure. People would, John Ross, an old friend of mine said to me. I know John Ross. He says people would rather go down with their own ship than be the co-captain and have it sail smoothly. Well, David Feldman, I will be your co-captain any time. All right. Susie Essman is a stand-up comedian, actress, writer, and producer. She's appeared on HBO's One Night Stand. Conan O'Brien, Crocodile Dundee, too. Punchline. You know I got a residual the other day. .01 from Punchline. Do you know that I deposited a residual and I kept putting it into the... And it wouldn't accept. Because it was zero. It was zero. It was zero. They sent me a... They need to set up that anything under a dollar automatically goes to charity, to the actor's fund or something. Somebody else said that. That would be, they'd make a lot of money. Yeah. The only people who say that are people who haven't gone through a divorce and go, oh, 50 cents. All right, I gotta go. I could use that. Goodbye. Thank you. If you're enjoying today's show, please share it on Facebook, Twitter, StumbleUpon, Dig, Reddit. Copy and paste the link to this show and share it with all your friends via email. Spread the laughs, spread the knowledge, spread the love. Joining us from Studio City is everybody's favorite, Laura House. Hello, it's me. People love you. I... why? I wish they loved me, so I don't know. You're lovable. Do you wish they loved you? Do you? On my terms. I want love on my terms. As I push them away constantly, I hope... I do wish they would keep loving me. It does seem to be the psychological profile of comedians, or at least a lot. The good ones, yeah. But me, I'm... you know, I'm more of a humorist. I'm just a big open-hearted... just a... I'm like Dave Berry. I'm a... Barbara Berry. So dumb. Martin Lando's wife? Oh, is that true? I think so. I think I got that wrong. Laura House, comedy writer, comedian, comic, actress, actor. And one of the world's leading experts on her own special brand of meditation, right? Well, I mean, it's a... it's not my special brand. I teach... I teach a kind that's existed for thousands of years, but yeah. And everybody loves Laura House. Well... How is your love life? Can we talk about that? Sure. It's great, David. This guy is the guy. Yeah, I'm glad to hear that. He's the guy. He's so nice. I think it took me my whole life to like be beaten down enough to really know how to appreciate a nice guy. And he's a saxophone player. He plays with Oingo Boingo. Trumpet. That's... see? He's already keeping secrets from you. Wait, this is how I find out? He told you he was playing with Todd Rundgren, right? Yes. He's been cheating on Todd Rundgren playing the sax. He made a bold move one time and said he played bass for Durand Durand. And I was like, that's... Come on, you can't. That's crazy. Hey, I played bass for Durand Durand. Oh, yeah, that's right. Everybody. Yeah. Trumpet, Oingo Boingo. Ridiculous. He's just so... He's just so... He just shows up. He's a consistent guy. He's funny and smart and talented. It's crazy. He's just great. And a great kisser because he plays the trumpet. Right? His whole career has been focused on that part of his face. So yeah, real good. I used to play the trumpet in... No. Yes, I did. In marching band? It was the French marching band. We marched backwards. I don't know what that means. It's something like... I panicked. They were cowards, I think you're saying. I think so. We marched backwards toward the exit. Yeah, that's not good. But no, I played in the marching band at Yeshiva. Oh. Yeah. And we had a marching band. All we played was Sousa. Because we're Jews. Sousa. John Phillips, Sousa lot. Anything? Love me? I see. No, I see. No, I get it because it's a litigious culture. Hey, I can make those jokes, Bill Maher. Don't make me school you on Girlfriend. Did you see his big apology? I thought Michael Eric Dyson did a great job speaking up, defending, and promoting his book. Listen, Bill, we're friends. I have a book. And okay, go enjoy your panel. Yeah, more plugs than Joe Biden's. Yeah. My head, actually. More plugs than that. For a guy who was like, you know what? I'm gonna apologize. I'm officially gonna apologize. I've apologized, but I'm gonna have two people on the show to yell at me. He really was defensive. Yes, he was. When they did. Yes. You know, when the both of them, when they were like, look, you just can't use that word. I know. I said it. I said, I was sorry. I said, I know I don't usually, you know what? I don't usually. I don't usually use that word. It was like, hey, they didn't surprise you. Like they're like, even having it produced and planned, he couldn't just go, yeah, you know what? It really is, is bad. You know, he was like, yeah, I know. I felt bad about it all week. We said that like to ice cube. Yeah, that's been said. I loved it. Ice cube was like, not by me. You invited me on here to yell at you. I'm gonna do it. Yeah. Okay, ice cube. That's been said. No, I apologize. Oh my god, like, why are you guys, because your producer's been just come on. See, this is here. If I didn't have a book, you'd nerd. When you're being taken to the woodshed, it means you bend over and somebody takes a switch. Yeah. To your behind and you say, ouch, ouch. I'll never do it again. Yeah, there was no ouch. He had his own switch and fought back in the woodshed, and that's not how the woodshed works. It's, yeah, way, bad television. Yeah, I, you know, look, I love Bill. I really do. I think he's, I actually think he's the bravest guy out there. But he's also sometimes the wrongest on Islam. And it's what you're willing to turn a blind eye to. The stuff he says about Islam is as bad as it gets. It really is. But we're focusing on his use of the N word. You know, I don't know that we should be, he should be apologizing for what he says about Islam. Yeah, that's fair too. But, yeah, I kind of, I watched a little of it, and then I turned it off. Then I'll say this in his defense, because I do, I watch the show every week, I enjoy it. What I like about him is that he's not a fake to the degree that I can suss out. I worked with him just once, but he was like he is. You know, like, he, like, I like that he's, he's sort of known to be with hookers and stuff, but he's never like, I'm like your fun cousin. Or what, you know, he's like, no, I like this. I'm weird about sex, and I like what I like, and I'm kind of a dick, and that's who I am. Like, like, you're like, he doesn't, yeah. So at least he didn't do like the Ellen version of apology of like, oh my God, instead of a monologue tonight, I'm just going to cry about the dog. Yeah, yeah. Like, at least he didn't do the like, you know, that's another weird version of an apology. But yeah, I just, it was odd that he was so defensive. People forget that Ellen adopted a dog and then returned it. And people were like, oh, she's bad. She just couldn't stop crying. But it's like, yeah, it was, you know, like an unnecessary emotional display. But my friend, Andy Kaplow and I, we were trying to alienate ourselves from everybody in show business. So when Helen did that on the podcast, we did a sketch called Pet Flicks. It was Ellen. Where you just return, you watch them, you play with them and return them. Uh-huh, just put them back in the box. That's, I'm surprised that's not a thing. I think it is a thing. It probably is a thing where you can just borrow a pet for a few days. I have this friend, Andy Breckman, and I have a running gag. He's got these beautiful kids. And I always say, hey, I've got a woman coming over. Can I borrow your kids? He goes, how much? I need them for like three hours. I want her to think that I've got my kids for the weekend. I'm a really good dad and just them to be really loving and cheerful. And he goes, we can swing that. We can swing. Let me find that. But wouldn't that be great to be able to rent kids? Hey, here's something. Here's a money-making idea. And there's little in-app purchases. For $3, they'll come in and say something real cute in a little pet baby talk. Yeah, I sleepy. Kind of some wah-wah. Oh, for $3, they'll ask for wah-wah. For like $15, they'll throw a tantrum and then let you talk them out of it and then give you a big hug. So like your day will be like, oh my god, what an amazing dad. What about this? What about this? Let's say I want you to think I'm the greatest human being for three days. OK. This is just I'm thinking out loud here. Just I'm spitballing. OK. I say Laura House is flying into New York. She's going to be living with me for three nights. I want her to fall in love with me, do things with me sexually. And then after three days, out the door, I never see her again. And I'm willing to spend X amount of money to make this happen. I hire these kids to portray my children who are not estranged from me, right? And yeah. Yeah. And so you oh my god, I bring in this beautiful dog who was just the sweetest thing in the world. I rented the dog to make it look like. And I tell you this story. Oh, I found him on the street. You wouldn't believe how much work. Skin and bones. Skin, right. Fleas. But I knew we just needed love and some steak. And then I hire five guys in a Hawaiian shirt Oh yeah. To with, you know, flash bulbs. And whenever we go outside, they follow us. Like I'm famous like paparazzi. Yeah. And I take you to dinner and maybe hire a couple of people to ask me for my autograph. Yeah. And the guy at the thing is like, Oh, Mr. Feldman, your usual table. And and the waitress is like, he's so generous. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then I don't know if this was ever an episode in a lousy sitcom, but a big angry guy pulls out a knife and tries to rob you. Oh, uh huh. Yeah. That must be in every every sitcom is done. Yeah. Or just I just think of it in movies or something. But yeah, yeah. So and then he and then he robs you. Okay. Right. And I split with him what he gets from you to pay to pay for the fake paparazzi and the kids. Okay. Hell, I might even turn a profit. That's a nice twist for your lousy sitcom. I'm not doing a sitcom. I'm thinking, how can I make money off? But I'm saying how like you could have a lousy sitcom and then do that because that's a funny bit of like it looks like you're going to be the hero and punch him out. But really like you run after to get the purse and then when you catch up with them, you're like, how much is in there? Yeah. What's split this up? This is what happened to me for two years when we used to do the sitcom here on the podcast. Yeah. I'd go down that path like, let's just do it here. We could do it here. We won't make any money and we'll waste 40 hours a day. But nobody will be noting us. We can do it ourselves. It's just as good. Oh, I miss money. So I watched Bill Maher and I love the show. Blah, but he blah, but he hang on blah, blah, blah, blah. But my favorite part and that's when I kind of turned it off. And this might be bad karma because often I say things without thinking. But he goes, you know, this is what Bill says. I use the N word. But come on, 24 years on television and I only used it once. Right. Yeah. That's what I mean. It was so defensive. I'm thinking. Come on. You want a Peabody for that? Yeah. Because you never used the N word. Yeah. No. Yes. That was it was just so weird that he was like, I'm gonna for I'm gonna apologize. But not not really. Here's the other thing about know what an apology is. I think here's the other that I had a guy on to mention it. And then I disputed everything he said. Isn't that enough? I guess here's the other thing about the N word. I never say it. And here's why I never say it because I don't want it to be easy to trip through my lips. Oh, you know, and there was a time when I would say the word to quote somebody or if there was a joke and it had the N word in it. You know, I was okay with occasionally, you know, around friends in African America. If it call for it, I would not say the N word. I would say the actual word. And then I thought, you know, you got to be careful here. This is not a word that you want to slip out of your mouth. You should not be comfortable saying that word. Yeah, it's a good way to think of it. Yeah. And, you know, if you said it on television, you probably have said it a lot of times before. I wouldn't suggest anything with the oddly high voice, but maybe. Maybe, if it's maybe you say that. Yeah, it's, yeah, I, I mean, I was raised kind of racist. I've been talking about that on stage. Well, here's the thing. This is always pisses me off because I saw the king and I, right? And they say you've got to be taught to hate. And then I heard racism can only be taught at home. And I'm thinking, why can't they teach that at school? Yeah, let's, you know, there's so much that where the public school system is failing. Go ahead. I'm sorry. It's one more thing. So you, I just, I was actually doing a bit. No, I was too. Oh, okay. That's where they're failing. They're failing. Yeah. Let's keep it, let's keep it real, sister. Do you understand? We have to explain our bits to each other now. I would never do that. That's what's happened. On this show, I never explain a bit or apologize for a bad joke. Oh, good for you. Have you noticed that? Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah. I just asked people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people. Yeah, I just ask people Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. Yeah. I just ask people. He speaks out about this. about this. He's got a great show on CNN. He's great. Very brave. United Shades great show on CNN and he has a great message that he comes by really honestly and he worked hard he like stayed in San Francisco like 10 more years after all of his peers left like really honing what he really wanted to say like he has so much to actually say and it wasn't funny for a long time. So he I mean he's funny but don't tell him I didn't I said that anyway but he had to get it right so anyway believe me this is the David Feldman show. Oh yeah yeah no he'll never hear this. No I didn't even hear it but it was Kamau like started saying it about like Sarah Silverman and the like that it was like ironic racism is still racism and then I then I was like oh you know what it is because it's still like a kind of a privilege it wouldn't he these are my words not his but it's still a privileged white person just saying the word because they want to and whether you're saying it like but I'm an intellectual who I don't actually have ill will toward a group of people I can say it or a racist person who's like well I actually feel this way so I can say it it's like we're still just saying this you know offensive word so like just stop. Well I think you say that word at your own peril you know we have Alan Grayson congressman Alan Grayson on the show today we did a benefit for him at the improv and Sarah Silverman headlined and this was a couple years ago and congressman Grayson got called out by the conservatives for allowing David Feldman and Sarah Silverman to be so tasteless and we talked about he said look if it's funny let the chips fall where they may but if you're going to say the n word not as a mistake but calculatingly let's see what happens you know let the market determine whether or not you're a racist let's let's see what the blowback is it may be okay Sarah seems to get away with it Lisa Lampinelli seems to get away with it as I understand it but it's a little less offensive probably coming from another group that shit on i.e. women hey I did that once and I was a hooker in Thailand you know what David I didn't mean a literal oh sorry I'm just very defensive but what does that cost in Thailand like a quarter 50 bot oh oh is that a quarter 50 bot okay yes it's a quarter yeah well so I guess we're just saying don't say the n word I guess that's where we're landing yeah I don't say the n word and this other thing is we're all racist that I'm getting tired of hearing we're all racist let me tell you something Laura House oh uh oh some of my best friends are white people who aren't racist okay yeah I get it I really thought you were going with looks some of them I know racist some of my best friends are racist what all my friends are racist so I don't think you have the right what were we talking yeah I mean if I were a racist would I only surround myself with racist I mean that's insane yeah I'm so secure about my lack of racism that I that's all I hang out with is racist because because it doesn't because I'm not what it's yes the guy who says the the n word instead of the real word he's the one who's hiding his racism he doesn't want to be caught yeah I mean I guess the gist of of when people talk about like everyone's racist I guess they I mean racist should be a really strong word I mean I guess they like we all have some degree of prejudices or you know because we've all had experiences with you know groups of people we rightfully hate oh gosh what happened what I was just talking about groups of people we rightfully hate that's not good I was teasing oh you're such a great actress I didn't bother you at all no you're like yeah yeah go on um no but we all have experience so there's I guess that's is that what you mean like when people say we're all racist to some degree like the prejudices okay so let me let me could I speak about this for the next 15 hours and you just listen okay you don't know how come on do the right comedic snore that that's good sexy right I thought you were gonna go with I had to I had to zag I was I thought you were gonna pull a shamp on me by the way and we're gonna talk about racism in a second this show I've been asking people who listens to this show and some of my listeners can actually write an email in crayon but still right okay wait okay they they they write on the laptop in crayon and they mail me the laptop they think it's email they're not the brightest yeah but I don't want to insult them I have to man stack stack of laptops yeah yeah I ask people where do you listen like a lot of people I have a lot of long-haul truckers a lot of people commuting hour two hours a day so they listen back and forth and if you're doing that I'm sorry mm-hmm I truly am but a lot of people I find out are in bed with me uh oh listening to you while they're in bed touching themselves well I hope so but they have trouble sleeping what that's what they tell you and you to be honest I you put me right out I've never heard more than three minutes I basically only know the intro I I literally have only heard your podcast too and our first guest so that's nice a lot of people lie in bed with their iPhone mm-hmm with their earbuds with their loved one next to them and they can't sleep and they turned off old folder and they they don't say I can't sleep this ambient isn't working David Feldman will put me to sleep that's not what they're thinking oh okay they're saying well as long as I can't sleep I might as well listen they listen to this show to fall asleep all right listen no I not not tom r2d2 isn't he great he's great I it's my favorite thing on twitter he's my uh twitter follower there's a guy named nick name oh yeah he's great he's amazing he he he reminds me of me because he hits high and low you know it's just like he'll send me the foulest stuff on twitter and then a baby elephant playing with a dog how dare you how dare you how do you you just threw me a change up how dare you work your way back into my heart racism yeah this is this is this is the white entitlement that I've caught myself at and I need to apologize about so I don't consider myself racist I catch myself saying oh who cares oh got it you know for example and this is racism and I'm gonna confess to it the conversation about the n word on bill marr and I apologize for thinking this and I'm also apologizing for leaving the bathroom door open so everybody could hear it these are thoughts better left unsaid okay but occasionally when I hear this conversation about the n word as a a white male I say who cares there are other issues you know let's move on that's where I catch myself with white privilege and not really understanding the pain that that word causes African Americans I've never felt that pain so it's sometimes I'll have a knee jerk aren't there more important things than the n word like all the black men who are being arrested and shot you know shouldn't we be talking about inequality so I think that's a bit of white privilege yeah because it didn't didn't affect you so you're dismissive does that make me a bad person uh I mean that and all the other stuff that doesn't make me racist thinking that uh no I don't I mean I we live in a weird moment is it racist to be thinking that while burning a cross on a interracial couples front lawn no no no people are so sensitive right now so no I don't I don't I mean relax everybody no it's um it's uh it's it is hard it's I honestly had training in college I went to University of Texas it's 50 000 undergrad um yeah I'm a Texan and I'm bragging about how big something is that's so if that's what you were thinking and you're racist against Texas then you met my my third wife I dated my married my third wife with some Texas she had a 10 gallon uterus okay everything's big in Texas she she had hang on because you know I have 10 gallon hats no I got I got it so her uterus was like a 10 gallon hat yeah but a uterus would very big that would be very big actually a 10 gallon hat is not really 10 gallons yeah no it wouldn't hold like 10 gallons of milk but if you have water on the brain that's what I figure they mean by a 10 gallon hat a lot of these rednecks from Texas have water on the brain and so when they put that hat on technically speaking it's a 10 gallon hat if you include the water in their brain oh okay or if her water breaks in the uterus kill me just kill me I seem to still be talking can't these my lips are moving and I can I gather up these words in the ether and gather them up and put them back in my throat words keep coming out of mouth um I think I think my listeners are going right now why don't you just say the n-word that would be so much more yeah entertaining just get to it yeah this is what I'm saying is even more offensive what were you saying before I so wisely interrupted you I don't know you know the uh what's that sorry oh my god I looked up that's so funny I looked up why do we call it a 10 gallon hat and then I was on some dumb history um website that played that music and then I so I just I shut it all down do we know why why they call it a 10 gallon no because that music started playing and I got afraid do you know how this show works it's it's an exaggeration is what I caught it's just an exaggeration of like because it's a hat with a brim so it's like it could hold 10 gallons of water up there which and it's just an obvious exaggeration I see you know like when people are talk about their six inch penis like it's just like no way what huh you know someone with a six inch penis that's what they say I'm like that you braggy well six inches isn't you don't say six inches oh you don't no okay six gallons no yeah well in a way I have as somebody who is as sexually active as I am who has been with so many women get ready for this because I think I'm on to something here I think I finally found some comedy so you might want to go to the refrigerator crack a brusky and come back because this I think I am about to say something funny Laura okay well here there goes 10 years of sobriety but all right you ready yeah okay sex so a six gallon penis for years men were told women want a large penis right yeah then we were told it isn't the length it's the girth mm-hmm now oh boy I oversold this one it's the the splash that turns on them okay women are looking for six gallons wow yeah splash at the end is that it's because supposedly it makes good face cream so basically if you can get a guy well if you can get a six gallon splash then you can like save it in a bucket uh-huh like look young forever mm-hmm I walk up to women this is a real weird rabbit hole but keep going well I've been in a rabbit hole and they can accommodate six gallons okay well that's all right that's not good or funny no great now pita is emailing you I love animals okay let's just look at that look at that rabbit he looks just like me field look at the the the the pluggie fur that he got the classes obviously obviously obviously I helped make these it's part rabbit and it's part Feldman which means it multiplies like a rabbit but also expounds on great historical moments from I'm lost helping that rabbit just started podcast I don't know but I'm scared I thought I had so I think this you know what I think I think I should have just quit after the six-gallon splash that me walking up to a woman at a bar and going hey baby hey you know what I'm packing a six-gallon penis mm-hmm I think that might be in the neighborhood of comedy I'll splash and you'll shoot across the room do you know why they call me the fireman no I can hang on it's not because I'm gonna save you from a burning building hang on don't call don't call the fire department this is this is me in just the kitchen fire I'll need just give me a minute give me a minute or a photograph of Lonnie Anderson 1984 I can put this fire out no need to call 911 just give me a minute or put on 30 rock no sound what it's juda freed lander what can I say I love those hats I love those hats I was watching the Johnny Carson show I couldn't sleep and I just watched so fun that it that it plays on that weird channel and I just watch Rickles I'm obsessed with Rickles I just think he is a miracle can I tell you I want to hear your thing but I want to interject so let me know when it when it's best my boyfriend so we were at a at a comedy show Friday and big poster of Rickles and so of course you're just like oh god he was amazing I saw him a couple years ago at the Wiltern boyfriend says he played with him at the Tropicana New Year's Eve 1996 wow he's he's a jet he's plays in all these orchestras and bands and because he's a jazz he's a trumpet player so he told this great he said Rickles is is on stage doing his thing and he always does a set thing and the band was just doing this for like one or two nights it wasn't like a regular thing and so you have your songbook in front of you and he said so and it's like an 18 piece thing and so Rickles goes through and like he goes from like the third song he's gonna do and he skips song four like on accident and he goes to five so the band director or he's you know he skipped song four and the band director like sends word around like skip song four like he skipped the cue like he didn't do it so just the next song will be sung five and boyfriend says that um everybody got the message except one trumpet player which wasn't which wasn't him but was this guy on the end so the song Rickles was gonna you know song five was this like kind of slow ballad-y kind of thing that he's gonna do song four was like a crazy like started he says it in some smarter way than me but like a Spanish bullfighting like yeah like story it or something so wait a second your boyfriend played the toreador song when Don entered I don't know but he but he could can I finish my story sure so the one so Rickles goes in and it starts this this slow ballet except the trumpet starts with this look whatever the thing is this really and then he's like orchestra isn't joining him and I'm sure the guy next room was like we're we're going to five go to five and so Rickles you know obviously live live show at the Tropicana turns around you got you'll never work in the stat you're fine you're the way and just like rips on and you know what I like you do and and then goes on with the show boyfriend said that curtain you know shows over curtain comes down Rickles turned immediately to that trumpet player and said I am so sorry that is my fault I have never skipped a song before I don't know what I am so I just said the jokes for the audience that was my fault I am so sorry for that hmm and I started crying because I was like that's so sweet like I love those stories where he's like just you know please know that was just you know for the moment the audience and the whatever like that was on me and like but he was getting laughs crapping on that guy of course and he you know that was but just like of course it was Rickles fault but so many people won't own that you know or what or just like they don't have to be you know nice people just don't have to be nice and it's so great when they are Suzy Essman was on the show earlier mm-hmm she plays Suzy Green on Curb Your Enthusiasm and they asked her you know who is this character Suzy Green and she said she's drawing from girls she grew up with who who just have no self-awareness and are just constitutionally incapable of admitting they're wrong this is these strong values and this complete utter inability to say oh my my I made a mistake yeah uh one of the things I drilled into my kids was to admit you're wrong sure you know I remember my son said daddy I'm gay and I said you're wrong yeah you're not gay no uh valid yeah that's admit you're wrong yeah no but I mean just the most important thing that you can instill in children is something that comes so easily to me right and that is just say you're wrong say you're sorry and move on yeah well I I think even the crux of that that people don't really understand and it took me a while to understand but it's just taking responsibility for your actions because to me like you acknowledge it with an I'm sorry but the really important thing is to say I skipped a song that's on me mm-hmm I did that you know and then I made fun of you as part of the show but it's like I I did I claim ownership of your behavior because like I have like an ex boyfriend who could apologize easily but he never took responsibility he was just like I'm sorry because he was just sorry that I was upset or like he was sorry that he clearly did something but it's really owning you know what I'm sorry I was being really selfish right there and I'm gonna try to do better next time is how you really apologize do you remember I told you this is a true story my six wife came home early my six wife came home early and I was making love to the housekeeper in our bed okay sure and I looked up I said oh I'm sorry I'm sorry this is wrong come back in five minutes let me finish yeah remember I told you that story yeah uh-huh I do and this this was my seventh or sixth wife I don't remember but it was your sixth wife it was my sixth wife and she didn't accept and your 14th housekeeper my 14th housekeeper and my sixth wife would not accept the apology and I said I said I'm sorry yeah but it wasn't good enough for her yeah what do you think happened to Donald were you gonna say something before I no no folks if you have to folks if you have trouble sleeping and this hasn't worked you need something a lot stronger the David Feldman show this is it's like ambient but more boring what I watched Trump especially last week and I have an inner Trump every man has an inner Trump that's have you been talking about that no that's an interesting thing to talk about because I think that's a really interesting thing to claim right there actually I want you to talk more about that because there is that he's not from nowhere this guy he's a common I feel like almost our collective you know like the shitty part of America created him like he's not even a person like he came from the shitty consciousness of you know the worst of us well I think I think there is a Trump inside people yeah he he I'll say where he comes from he comes from the south he comes from rural areas where you're not around a lot of people here's I'm gonna offend a lot of my listeners who come from the old Confederacy or maybe middle America people who don't live in urban areas or even sub-urban areas mm-hmm Donald Trump is in all men but if you're around people it gets knocked out of you got it yeah it gets it gets you're socialized you're socialized and civilized and you you are calmly gently taught to that's not how we behave yes but if you are isolated you nobody ever tells you if you're homeschooled and you are only surrounded by like-minded people your inner Trump grows yeah and grows but the inner Trump is I will never admit I'm wrong might makes right the world is nasty so be nastier than the world and you're what he means you're in charge everyone's out to get you and I watching him now going up against Comey mm-hmm I know this is a cliche he reminds me of what I know this is a cliche but he reminds me of what I was like when I was seven oh that's who I was when I was seven I don't think that's a cliche but yeah because you know that old cliche when Trump goes up against Comey it's like how I was when I was seven you know that old saying well no that he's behaving like a seven-year-old is the old okay because as we all know the a seven-year-old will always suborn evidence and as we know perjury and abstract justice seven-year-old always tweets about Senate hearings mm-hmm so in that is that what you mean in that way it's he's like when you were seven yeah and I had a really obvious come over when I was the way you treated about Senate hearings mm-hmm are you gonna watch sessions tomorrow or today no I can't I don't I feel like there's so much news on top of news on top of new like I you hear it 30 times mm-hmm I'll session also he's so the bad guy like it was interesting to watch not that Comey is like some of me but at least he was like relatively the good guy in in this scenario to me from from my point of view sessions is like just such a crazy redneck I'm sorry I don't know but I'll probably I'll probably watch it I don't know if I'm gonna watch it I try to be better I try I try to steer my mind toward happiness I don't know if I can how do you deal with all this stuff what is your reading like what do you read well I'm reading Kamau's book which I don't think is gonna make me feel good can you do you speak to him at all come out yeah mm-hmm because I was supposed to do his podcast oh really the Denzel Washington podcast to talk about Rickles and Denzel on Letterman together oh that's interesting what oh and you were about to say you were watching Rickles oh all I was gonna say about Rickles was this guy if you watch him in the 70s this guy he was an acrobat oh yeah dancing and singing yeah leaped across but yeah absolutely and and being rejected and being hated at the same time where do you get that inner strength to please an audience a national audience on your own terms where does that come from my fantasy is that Sinatra was the one who just kept telling him stay with it don't let any but don't let anybody tell you otherwise yeah huh maybe yeah I don't know do you have a voice in your head telling you to quit oh I mean besides this interview yeah is that what you're doing yeah I literally do a show I did it as a solo show and now I have a show at the improv lab called how to hate yourself that's about that voice that's just like you're the worst what's wrong with you yeah I think everybody has that voice but it's I think for people you know when you're pursuing some kind of you know what I just think everybody has it probably I I tend to think it might be worse for artists or whatever because you're vulnerable in what you're putting out in the world but I don't know if it is worse you know then it is like a school teacher or whatever but maybe what's the difference how many comics have done this they had to hate yourself oh uh on my show yeah like 12 and do you watch their sets oh yeah of course what is the common denominator and more importantly what is the difference between hating yourself and thinking nobody will love me um I don't I don't second thing first I don't think there is a difference I think it's just a different way to phrase it oh I think it's a lot oh no I think it's different I think um my sort of the voice in my head takes on a bunch of different like they say in acting you're always trying to get what you want all these different ways like I think the voice in my head like can take on a bunch of different ways to to say it you know of diminishing you know of of uh throwing doubt and um you know sort of encouraging me toward um quitting or you know uh despondency or something um so I so to me it comes out different ways whether you're not interesting enough or or you know yeah I know she she has a man who loves her but no one will ever look at you that way um or that's not hating you I mean hate you're not funny you've never been funny well hang on for me hating yourself is as I see it I'm a a bad person I'm disgusting I hate myself I cannot stand being around myself that's different than saying you know what I like myself but nobody else will like me yeah that's different that's your words I'm not saying that my voice is saying I like myself but this thing can be improved I'm saying there's like a barrage of this is wrong that's wrong you don't look right this isn't enough you're too much in this way blah blah blah to me all that leads up to hating yourself like if you listen to that voice that's a hate yourself voice hmm that's what I that's how I think of it of like so for me the reason I do the show is because I'm like let's shine a light on that fucking voice that's such a nightmare um yeah do you think Donald Trump hates himself it's funny you know it's so hard to say because I think he's he's gone into the realm of of sociopath of like I cutting off this I would have to assume yes I would have to assume yes if he were you know taken away and put in a room alone you know put in a solitary confinement for a day or two that he would like go mad and then cry and break down and be like I hate myself the worst because there's so much trying to prove something like I've I've been close to a couple of powerful people who were very very mean and kind of kind of create and kind of known for it and and it was it very much felt to me being in their presence that like this is how they talk to themselves like they hate themselves um but I have never I haven't been that close I've been in a room with Donald Trump but I've never like interacted with them so I don't know but his it definitely seems like he's locked into a part of his brain that's just like nope I'm meant to be in charge and I'm just gonna keep moving forward you know and has found a way to like rationalize anyone who who differs you know who criticizes him is just wrong and small and jealous like they try to tell you when you're little like when people hate you and there's they're just jealous like he seems convinced of that you know um that sort of thing so yeah I I don't I mean but I would have to think just as as me as a human who knows a lot of humans I would have to think deep deep down to in a place he he probably doesn't access I would have I would guess yeah I would guess yeah it aids himself um the common denominator of the comics are just that they're people who are able to recognize that that voice I think so they can tell a story that when you really because to me when you really reveal that voice it is funny because it's like it's ridiculous it's ridiculous that there's that I have a brain that part of it just forms thoughts to shit on me like that doesn't make any survival sense necessarily of like yeah there's just or with alcoholism they say like there's a part of your brain that like once you dead like that that's in a way what alcoholism is Freud talks it's called Thanatos Freud talks about that yeah well like what why why do why have that it's we have it we have it's it's love and death we have a death wish according to Freud well there's a part of us that wants to die and beat and destroy ourselves yeah and I uh and maybe it maybe it has to do with the spectrum of that because I I lean hard in that direction naturally so you have a part of your brain that shits on you how many bot does it charge oh 50 50 50 bot 55 yeah do you think is that a quarter I don't want to say let me ask let's keep it clean let me ask you about are there nice callback thank you oh this is all scripted let's be honest you know that oh yeah we have writers yeah god could you imagine if this had been written uh yeah before you go are there people who really love themselves does that exist and should they I mean I go to Starbucks I overhear conversations and I just want to stand up and say you are too easy on yourself you need to shut up and whoever told you you had something to say they were being sarcastic shut up and then they say dad nice nice work nice switch um are there people who who who love themselves too much they're they're yeah I'm sure there are just because there's everybody in the you know we're all in some spectrum of something like I'm sure there are people who lean lean hard toward that or easy on themselves or that sort of thing but I also think when we see those people and I see them too but when we see those people loving themselves you don't know what they were like a week ago or will be like in two years right so I think sometimes when we're in that maybe we're just excited about an idea and so the language we're using is very positive and optimistic and if you were to only hear that about from that person you know you just had this thin slice of their existence you might be like oh they're they're arrogant or stuck up or you know happy with themselves but they might really struggle with that at other times does that make sense or and I also think a lot of people who really talk about loving themselves are like crazy and like sitting on a lot of anger like like yoga assholes you know like people who are just you know like super pumped for a life or whatever that like I think that's like oh there's kind of a lot going on over there what about entitlement I I don't like myself I don't hate myself I feel I'm entitled to certain things what is it you're just an asshole I don't what's the mystery I have a sense of entitlement I think that that's what an asshole is yeah like I had Alan Grayson on the show but hang on for one second congressman Alan Grayson do you know who he is uh where do I get off talking to congressman Alan Grayson other than a false sense of entitlement right uh-huh that's how you go to the moon yeah does that make sense well I mean entitlement yeah I mean there's there's kind of good and bad when it's out of proportion like things that can be great a little bit can be out of proportion so like I guess it can be entitlement or like adventure or optimism or hope or delusion curiosity you know I think there's a lot of things reasons why you go to the moon you know in some ways it might be to like in your face every other country we did this and then that attitude out of control leads to wars and bad things you know but I think it can also be like um you know why Neil Armstrong went to the moon to avoid a subpoena did you know that no yes he didn't want to be served well how is that not a sketch that he's like one small step one great leap for mankind and then he then it's like what someone's knocking on his face guard on this big helmet uh Neil Armstrong yes this for you what oh god damn it and then now this is like Neil are you okay or hey it's just me and I tried to get away and I you sent another guy up here again we didn't want to tell you but we sent we had another just in case you didn't make it we sent another guy up there and we didn't know he was the guy with your subpoena god damn you darling Houston we have a big problem she won't leave me alone and I'm on the moon I'm not even sure they're my kids using Houston fuck you guys I'm not coming back hey uh John Ross and I came up with a a sketch for Dave Chappelle okay it's really offensive by the way if if they end up shutting down this podcast many people would think it's worth it it's my I don't want John Ross to come under fire for this but we were we were thinking this would be funny for Dave Chappelle that there's a a a six month a six month old baby who says the n-word doesn't say the n-word he actually says the n-word got it like just it's amazing it's a it's a they've they've never seen a child speak this young this early and this articulately but it's the n-word and Chappelle is this scientist who can't get over the fact that this six month old baby is speaking so fluently and they want to do studies and it's just a baby just keep saying the n-word over and over again and Chappelle is blind you know he's an african-american doctor and he's just blind you do realize what this baby like you know they bring the parents in and they're saying you know what did you what did you eat during the pregnancy and did you play Mozart in the womb they're asking all the all the questions except the important one why is his first word the n-word that is funny is it funny I think so it's so absurd uh-huh and that that you know Chappelle is just this doctor who doesn't he doesn't care what the kid is saying or why it's a miracle of speech hey Laura house yeah we need to do this more often I think we found some rhythms here okay don't you it's a good talking to you yeah yeah it's been too long and everybody loves you I'm do believe me I didn't want to do this Alex you hey point your point you've made it's clear I do what Alex Brazell tells me to do okay he's the producer I I will interview a cockroach if he says interview I don't know who to talk to I guess that part was hurtful I get that you were like what's a crazy exaggeration but you went to like I'll talk to you a cockroach I have to think I'm a better conversation you are but I this me is this me being arrogant you're fantastic the problem is that I think I'm a little more entertaining than a cockroach you're amazing but how would I know yeah no good point I depend on Alex he's a millennial and his friends say we want to hear so and so and so and then and they have excellent taste in people and they keep saying why isn't Laura house on why isn't Laura house on and I go you're right you're fantastic that's so nice hi hi everybody thanks for liking me they're asleep oh and let me hear the one where I'm going like boy she's she's really hot but when she's asleep it's babe she's a babe awake and then asleep she's the other babe oh my god I actually smell bacon now and then like I'm sneaking out of bed and you're going where you going where you're going I'm getting an apple to put in your mouth I did did you wake up to make love no I don't know if I'll ever be able to make love again now the other way I have to sell this bed and all the memories that come with came with it okay now do you know why there's a god why this is and this is why there's a god god has prevented me the gift of imitating Bill Cosby oh because make the snoring sounds now if I could imitate Bill Cosby right now I would be saying hmm this isn't really working out the way the way I planned I just used up a perfectly good quailude Bill Bill where are you going do you know how funny and wrong I gotta get Gilbert Godfried on to do this do the funniest thing in the world the women he didn't write the women yeah the women he knocks them out and they snore like a pig and he goes I'll rape anyone and that's a real boner killer oh Jesus uh I had that I went too far with no I know you know what I know you know what I'm moaning about I came up with a joke and this is an example of a joke that I would never tell my my brother's a detective in the NYPD yes and he gave me a rape kit yes why don't you figure the joke out and you tell it so I don't get into trouble yeah uh so you gave me a rape kit it's got uh six roofies yeah uh a hammer good a hammer and a ski mask I don't know why only six it just gets worse well yeah wait so like I'm gonna hammer her is that where that expression a hammer I'm gonna nail her I don't know I was just well you made me finish the joke and then I was like I don't a hammer I don't know what goes go people do terrible things I watch a lot of SBU women watch a lot if women I'm telling you if women didn't exist Dick Wolf well you stop thinking that Dick Wolf would have to create women so that somebody would watch SBU and if depression didn't exist it wouldn't be watched for 10 hours in a row yeah don't women watch way too much television oh my god I gotta go no no they do that's I'm making a sweeping generalization but women will sit in front of the tv you know not not chew through the duct tape don't sports and every stupid game is five hours long suck it hey the remote control I'm a hunterer and you're a gunter I'm a no that's with the gather food to sit in front of tv to watch my shows but when you're with the remote control and you can go hunt the remote control because I hit it because I don't want to watch your stupid football oh I'm when I'm turning this is our terrible sitcom listen I'm a man well I'm a woman but because I'm gonna get along but we're married I'm a trend I'm in you know I'm in transition so I'm a hunter and a gatherer I'm a gunter you know what it's time for us to go but then I'm left all alone to think about what I just did yeah okay all right Laura house I am Laura house on twitter yeah I'm Laura house I am Laura house yeah come say hi to me and Laura house calm and how do people reach you if they would like to learn how to meditate um find me on twitter that's really the easiest way to communicate these days and do you do meditation via skype um I bet I could I bet I could do it I haven't but I would be willing to okay uh yes yeah I do uh-huh all the time no I haven't but I it would work it probably would yeah all right this was great stand the line for one second all right okay okay thank you Laura stand one I hope you're enjoying today's show please remember to do all your amazon shopping via the david feldman show website go to david feldman show dot com hit the amazon banner click on it and then shop away we get a small percentage of everything you purchase I promise you every penny we get goes towards keeping the show going and if you're doing your amazon shopping via the david feldman show website hit the contact button let me know so I can thank you how is the cell phone quality in Paris by the way cell phone is good but I'm actually a 2g man myself but you don't have the problems we have in America because when we want to do a phone interview if it's not a landline it's like talking to somebody in a tunnel right I don't know I've never I've never been I can't remember if I've ever been interviewed over the phone I think the problem would be the microphone which is you know not terribly high quality but I was hoping I was hoping you were gonna say that in Paris the phone quality is much better than here in the United States and that we're a third world nation everyone wants everything to be better in France and I've lived here 17 years now so it's long enough to sort of be over that and just know all the flaws and all the shortcomings and just sort of like roll my eyes at at the French I mean I love you know I love France and and I love the French culture and the French people but it's not you know it's it's high it's heavily romanticized in the States okay the premise of this show just so you know because we're rolling okay sure every place is better than the United States that's the name of this show so you know I I hear that but I'll say this too I remember when but this was back when I was much closer to your politics but I might even even be more I might have been more radical than you are David at the time and it was the first time I ever really traveled abroad as a as an adult young adult I went down to Ecuador and I realized that I I'd never felt more American than when I was in Ecuador and I was ready to sort of condemn the US and and just sort of you know boycott bananas because people work on plantations with awful conditions and then I got down there and realized well if we boycott then bananas no one's going to have any income in terms of the working poor there in certain parts obviously so it just sort of scrambled up a lot of the the preconceptions I'd had and and again you'd be I don't know I don't know if you've ever lived abroad my experience from having lived abroad is that there's a lot of things about America that I just really really like that are just really decent Americans are really decent people there's a there's a really deep deeply rooted sense of decency I think in America I agree with you a hundred percent and what I say to my listeners and it's the same thing I tell my children the best way to love this country is to hate it from the very core of your being I mean that that it can always be better and there's so much that that isn't great obviously and and the whole the whole nature of the project and experiment has been trying to address those flaws or what people identifying those flaws and then pushing and acting active being activist and and militating for addressing them so certainly there's there's it's it's not all a better roses but there's still I don't know I'm what I call a Whitman populist I don't know if you're familiar with the the preface to the original Leaves of Grass edition I will read Walt Whitman eventually let's get to the the meat of the matter but I will tell you how I'm going to propose to my next wife okay how's that I'm going to drop to the knee yeah and say I hate you slightly less than every other person on the planet it sounds like a winning strategy have you met have you met this lucky woman yet in other words I hate your missing throat I hate America slightly less than every other country you're a missing throat you hate every you hate everyone but your future wife just a little bit less I think you got that I think hatred anyway British Prime Minister Theresa May remains in office despite losing big less week in a general election sounds like Donald Trump yeah with 650 parliamentary seats up for grabs Theresa May's Tory Party which we will now refer to as the Conservatives they lost 13 seats the Labour Party gained 30 and now has 262 seats the Labour Party has 262 seats to the Conservative Party's 318 Prime Minister Theresa May still holds more seats than the Labour Party but just a former government that's the parliamentary system which unlike American democracy it's not a zero sum game in Great Britain there's nuance there's compromise it's called the parliamentary system you have to make coalitions meanwhile Russians took to the streets to protest Vladimir Putin's kleptocracy good luck taking to the streets in Russia France has a new middle of the road president and Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel has taken the look at the current state of America and concluded Europe has to go it alone with or without America and maybe Great Britain for more on this we are joined by Druda Grunstein he's the editor-in-chief of World Politics Review and he joins us from Paris did I get all that right it sounds like it to me but you know you're I think you're the expert on all this yes uh most importantly you're in Paris today and you sound like you're in the room with me um yeah don't don't glorify French internet service providers please we are also going to talk about cutter because I always assumed cutter was the most enlightened country in the Middle East there they gave us Al Jazeera and they seem to be in the middle of some kind of proto World War one Serbia Austria Hungary trigger that's going to create there was ever a real actually applicable uh reference for the game of thrones this would be it it's a bunch of it's a bunch of royal families uh in infighting between a bunch of spoiled spoiled rich royal families what do you want to talk about first so here's the problem after Trump took office I was filled with piss and vinegar ready to fight and then he got the better of me and Trump fatigue set in and I became crippled for about two weeks and only wanted comedians on my show let's laugh let's have fun I can't talk about Trump and then I got a second wind and then I started really going after Trump and I realized I didn't get a second wind I contracted Trump paranoia and it's obsessive now you're in the reality tv phase of the pathology where you just can't take your eyes off it I even ordered msnbc I call Trump the white bronco of american politics nothing's actually it it's really boring there's not a whole lot going on but you're watching just in case you got police cars ever catch up to him yeah rachel maddow is the ac cowins I so I'm sitting there I prided myself on never turning on my tv I actually called my cable company and said I want my msnbc and I have msnbc and I I come home and I turn it on and I'm a fool I'm a fool for Trump to the exclusion of everything else that's going on in the world my listeners I suspect are in the same boat that's where you come in I'm happy to I'm I'm the intervention you're the intervention I'm going to the friars club in five hours and I'm going to be talking to Marty Allen hello dare and he's an intellectual Marty I'm joking well he is an intellect he thinks he's anyway the point I'm making is I want to be able to discuss things other than Trump sure where do we start do do we start with Britain Qatar Germany France brexit where do you want to start let's we could start with France okay since I'm here and the the first round of the legislative elections were just yesterday and and in a in a way in a way what you have in the new french president Emmanuel Macron uh is almost the anti-trump in a lot of ways he he's this uh he's he trump is an old maverick who did a hostile takeover of the republican party from within and uh Macron is uh is a young maverick who did an outsider and around uh of the socialist party and and succeeded in in this gamble that no one gave him any chance of winning um and where Trump is uh appeals to some of the the sort of basis baser instincts and the the worst aspects of american politics and society Macron is really trying to appeal to the better aspects of french society the to to optimism to openness to values to to the scent to the this idea that France uh can be a model for other countries can you help me out here for a second what is his party well that's the thing so Macron started came into government recently uh he was a political an economic advisor to the previous president françois Hollande and then became the minister of the of the economy um kind of like gordon brown taking over for tony blair yeah but he started he was a private sector guy he he he went to the to the high the the the top french school for uh government administration then went into uh banking uh made some money made some connections and through that became the second economic advisor he served in government for i don't know three three years i think three four years tops uh maybe less as the economic minister and pushed through a labor reform that you would probably have been out on the street protesting against but for someone who's lived here in france for 15 16 17 years is kind of necessary because it's the the french labor code is just impossible to navigate well now oland identified as a socialist oland campaigned as a classic socialist against international finance but when he took office he tried to govern as a sort of new third-way centrist and macron macron identified before he was running for office do we know what his political identity was yeah well that's the advantage that macron had so so when when oland sort of switched course and did a bait and switch it really generated a lot of opposition among the socialist base uh macron essentially left government about a year ago formed this movement it wasn't even a party called uh en marche or uh on on on on the go and uh and then essentially mounted this outsider campaign and he refused to run in the socialist party's primary which would have obligated him he would have lost and it would have obligated him to forego his own run so he ran as an independent uh but he clearly identified himself as a centrist reformer he's looking to essentially uh cut but government spending cut the government's uh weight or proportion in the economy which is well higher than any of the other european and oecd countries i think it's at 52 compared to about 45 47 also what is oecd mean uh the organization for economic cooperation and development it's sort of a club of of advanced economies so europe i think mexico is now a member some of the more advanced uh developing economies um but it's sort of like the gold standard for i guess what you would call a neoliberal economic management um france is this sort of odd hybrid where it's a country that is very rooted in tradition and very in some ways uh sedentary uh and with a huge government uh a huge public sector in terms of what they call function air the the the government administration or the the bureaucracy and that sort of sucks a lot of oxygen out of the out of the economy and at the same time there's a very very heavily regulated labor market so that it becomes very difficult for companies to let go of workers and so they're very reluctant to hire and so there's this two-tier hiring system of permanent contracts and temporary contracts and to give you an idea for a young person who has a temporary contract they have trouble renting an apartment uh the banks won't loan to them because so they're on it's a lot for me yes it's a lot for me to process so let me hang on for one second sure uh a temporary contract means you're not given a full-time job it's a full-time job but with a with a fixed duration uh in other words to to be hired here you have to sign a contract there's there's there's i mean there there's some freelancing but it's it's very also regulated and so everyone hang on hang on let me let me understand this because this sounds like my fantasy right okay i hire somebody to come to my home yeah to change some light bulbs to change a toilet seat that's different that's different because they're they they have already been regulated by the government in terms of how they structured their business but they have to give you a divi an estimate you sign the estimate then everything gets submitted well i guess what i'm saying is suppose i hire a full-time cleaning lady you have to sign her to a contract she has a contract or there's also like a government institution that takes care of it for you but it's all it's all to make sure it's on the books it has to be paid through the government so i have to pay her this institution rather right so i have to pay her minimum wage i have to pay into some kind of social security and social security and holiday bank holidays and things like that so there are obviously clear protections for workers and in that sense it's great the problem is that also for for letting go of someone it's very onerous for businesses so when business goes bad for instance it's very difficult to let people can i fire my cleaning lady can i say i can't afford you anymore then you have to give like months worth of termination of severance pay and and it's it becomes very for a small business for instance it can be quite onerous and so what people do to get around it is they do temporary contracts so that if someone doesn't work out they don't have to fire them for instance firing someone who's just simply incompetent also is very expensive and and so so it's a great policy but there are these on it you know there's always the unintended consequences and so what mac colin is is uh campaign on campaign on was this idea that we're going to cut government spending we're going to trim the bureaucracy we're going to make it a little easier for companies to fire and hire and then what we're going to try and do is stimulate the economy through some investment in green technology and high tech and try to compensate for the kinds of industries that are disadvantaged by global competition by investing in the industries that france has a competitive advantage because of its education system because of the high level of training of french workers and their high level of productivity so it's this it's this try almost like a an attempt to do a managed transition into a a more high-tech economy that can compete and the advantage he has over au lend is that he did this very explicitly at the same time he was elected in a roundabout way in the sense that he was running up against marine le pen he managed to reach the second round unexpectedly so a lot of people who voted for him weren't necessarily voting for his program they were voting against marine le pen and what that meant was that in france where the legislative elections follow the presidential elections by a month there was some uncertainty as to whether he would actually win a parliamentary majority or whether the more established party on the right would actually hold hold fast and actually win a majority and what we learned yesterday actually is or rather sunday i don't know when this when when your podcast runs but what we learned on sunday is that he actually is looking like he's going to win after the first round it's a two round system but after the first round it looks very clear that he's going to win a huge overwhelming majority in parliament which which means that this this guy who came out of nowhere who was relatively unpopular as a government minister because he was the one who pushed through this unpopular labor market reform not only ran the table on the presidential election but is now running the table on the parliamentary election and and it looks like he's going to be have a big mandate to put into practice the the program he ran on so is this a vote for stability in a tumultuous world or the French saying look we try to socialist these are dangerous times we need to just calm down yeah yes and no to to the extent that uh mcconnell was the really the most eu friendly very a very strong vocal supporter of the european union yes because i think what people are realizing especially in the new atmosphere with the trump administration in office is that europe is is europe needs to really batten down the hatches and that the the threats to the eu from within in terms of the populist parties that were making serious electoral gains from without in terms of the the refugee crisis and and also the there's there's still some aftershocks of the economic crisis that that haven't yet been resolved and then you add the trump administration which is very hostile uh to europe and to to its nato partners so there was a real sense that wait a minute this whole thing could actually come down so to that extent i would agree that the election of of mcconnell is is a vote for stability and it really firms up the eu i was going to get into that and say that that's really the biggest uh macro uh consequence or results of of this double electoral victory of his why don't we hold off on the eu because i want to get to to exit england right and i don't really and katar just just to finish up that that one point to the extent though that mcconnell is really running has run on a program of instituting the reforms that people have been advocating for in france for the last 20 years but no one has actually managed to to get them to implement them so in that sense there's a risk of some real political divisiveness and conflict and it so there's still you know the jury's still out on whether he'll be able to actually push through the reforms he's talking about and then obviously all of these reforms and we saw this most recently in argentina for instance it takes a while before they actually have an impact and they they hurt first and so there's still a period where things could be pretty volatile um but i'd say for the most part on the macro level it is a vote for stability okay before we move on to great britain some quick answers to some short questions okay i want to go top down bottom up all right top down how big an economy is france uh france is a big medium-sized economy i think it's i think it depending on the year with great britain and the exchange rate of the pound i think it's a fifth or sixth global economy yeah that's one of the most amazing things for americans to understand is that we have a socialist country called france and their economy is doing very well thank you very much and they don't speak english well hold on hold on france was governed by a socialist president it's not really a socialist economy i mean the government maintains a non-management share in like the the electricity company certain strategic industries like the nuclear energy company things like that but it's not a socialist country okay let me let me hang up one second and and one last thing it relatively it's it's the fifth or sixth biggest economy but i believe it's in the two 2.2 trillion range of gdp compared to the us which is in the 12 trillion range per year and even china now which i think is uh is i i haven't checked recently in terms of dollar value but in purchasing power uh purchasing parity or purchasing power parity i don't know ppp which is which is essentially how much money someone can buy based on a on a relevant income over there uh is i think the second or might even have surpassed the us in purchasing power parity okay but so france is still you know it's still quite a it's a small economy well compared to germany okay bottom up when you're an american france is a joke in america yeah undeservedly undeservedly and undeservedly france that france has a very innovative sector uh high speed rail is a french innovation uh french japanese but france was an early adopter uh france is one of the few countries beside it it's the us and sweden that can independently independently build a fighter jet because they have a jet technology that other countries no longer have independently they have a a launch capability that they use with the european space agency but one of the few russia china japan us a couple others that can actually launch heavy payloads into space so you know the the the the caricature that france is a backward traditional country that drinks wine and eats cheese and can't make anything new or can't compete is is uh is just that it's a caricature bottom up this is a question from the bottom looking up if you're not a wealthy person in france and then we'll move to great britain but i want to ask you this question because you've been out of the united states for 17 years i know you come back but i want you to answer this question for my listeners who are for the most part well bottom up her bottom is up there alcoholics but they're they're they're looking up they feel right at home in france okay if you are not part of the neoliberal game in other words sure you're not one of the globalizations winners so to speak you're just a normal human being who wants to read make love raise children work an eight hour day come home cook tend your garden and you're not interested in competing with your fellow man you just want to live a quiet life okay which is what supposedly we're supposed to do okay the moral life is to not chase things the moral life is to tend your garden as voltaire said or montaigne thing was much well anyway some french dude you're better read than i am uh oh in that case i was thinking of the montaigne python uh the meaning of life skit with the french waiter well if you don't know the answer to that question it's montaigne so uh eve montaigne breathless so um the point i'm making is if you're not chasing the intellectual goodies that you chase and some would accuse me of chasing if you just want to live a quiet life tell me what living in france is like in other words eight hour days you work you have a vacation you go to the beach you take mass transit all right let me let me uh because i know i i hear where you're trying to steer this answer i'm wise to you so let me say this to tooth yeah obviously you know you want the you want that answer sure france has a single payer health care right some social security system uh the public education system in is is for the most part pretty good depending on which school district you live in and there are protections for workers that i spoke about earlier there is uh there's a real quality of life here um the you know things as simple as like the municipal swimming wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait there's a real i'm teasing you i'm just seeing no there's quality of life yeah the quality yeah yeah there's a quality of life and everybody's happy but that's the most important thing no no listen here here's this so you have like municipal swimming pools that are that are usable and clean and well staffed and things like that so now that's the sort of that's the bright side of the picture the less bright side of the picture is that there's structural unemployment of between roughly nine percent okay that's built into the system uh that's accepted right nine percent unemployment in the us for 20 years there would be a revolution in france that's cooked into the system but we have i'm gonna fight back i'm gonna interrupt you i'm gonna just no no let me yeah i i let you set up your your wish list you have to you have to let me undercut it all right okay so so for instance when what i'd say is this when someone when i first got here everyone you say what do you let which is better you at the us or france and what i would say is uh if if you're an older person who's looking to retire france is better if you're a younger person looking to build a career or a business and and you know not necessarily your the the vision you picked out but maybe someone who has ambitions to to better themselves in life uh france the us offers way more opportunity for that so in france the the the big thing is no one wants it everyone is uh everyone is uh hostile to this idea of precariousness you know they want a social safety net and everything has to be protected and uh and in the us there's what what french people call precariousness a lot of the people in america call opportunity right so in france what you just said is true you'll have a lot of people in the trades for instance who punch the clock weekend week out month in month out year in year out working for someone whereas in america that same person would after two three years of getting experience and getting their their their the job under the belt they'd then go out and maybe open their own private contracting business the difference is that in america if if someone says to their friend hey yeah i'm i you know i'm i think i just i just quit my job because i saved up enough money and i'm starting my own business everyone's going to be like oh wow that's exciting good luck uh let me know uh when you're in business because i've got tons of friends who might need your work i'll send them your way that's a typical response in america right in france you tell someone that you quit your job and you're starting your own business they're going to look at you like you're crazy and they're going to be like oh la la la why did you do that did they fire you no i quit are you serious it's like unheard of let me ask you exaggerating to to make the point uh but that that's the the the cultural mentality is that and so your your your the portrait you painted exists and you can live a comfortable life in france without you know putting your shoulder to the to the grindstone and running in the rat race yes but for for there there's a huge amount of unemployment there's this two-tier job system that i mentioned to you because companies are are loath to hire in terms of uh permanent contracts so there's young people who are sort of shut out who are shut out of the real estate market for instance um so it's a it's a mixed bag like any country is there's there's advantages and there are disadvantages and and you know people will people can choose for themselves what they think is is the best mix okay what what mackerel is trying to do though just to circle it back to that he's trying to put in place a little bit of what the scandinavian country is called the flex secure flex security model so there's more flexibility for hiring and firing and there's more security from the state to transition people from one job to the next okay do you have any friends who everybody experiences this do you have any friends who you haven't seen in 17 years they have a toddler and then you see them 17 years later and they bring out this man and you go who's this woman or a woman they bring out this woman or man you go who's this that's that's billy huh no billy's was two years old he was barely well yeah now he's going off to college he's going to be a dentist you've experienced that right um not i mean i've seen kit friends kids grow more than i expected but i mean you know there may be i have post nasal drip so i'm constantly clearing my throat thank you it's allergies and stuff like that uh can i say tmi yes okay so that's what i love about doing interviews with with you david by the way that would be a great name for this show tmi i wonder if there's a podcast called tmi let me look at it i don't know i can't go for it tmi let me make it out here and tmi i'm sure somebody someone's got it yeah to the world or something yeah the point i'm making is you've been away from america for 17 years i know you come back yeah what's your point you should do a reverse elects to tokeville you should come to america after 17 years and travel around this would make a great book or a documentary sure i'm sure you have already thought of this where you spend a year rediscovering your america right because when you describe the bottom of france i can assure you that my listeners are thinking are you having kidding me hold on hold on what i described is not the bottom what i described is the the the middle that's the middle but it's like a sort of depressed middle like wages in france are are lower than the u.s so like it's like 45 50 000 a year is considered wealthy is considered high end on on the income scale whereas you know most people make like 30 000 because a lot is covered by the state but that's the middle those are those are very fortunate people the low end is you know immigrants who are living in unsafe neighborhoods where people are throwing household appliances on the fire the firefighters who come to put out fires they live that sounds like fun they how they live in housing projects where the elevators don't work and they've got to walk up 20 flights of stairs you know they're buying they're watching their making ends meet their retirees who don't have a huge retirement okay but hang on for a second don't romanticize it too much hang on but what percentage hard here like for instance when i worked when i was living down south in the village where i lived which was a tiny village 2000 inhabitants uh you could live like i paid 250 300 bucks rent a month and for about you know 600 700 bucks a month i had a fresh goat cheese that was made on on a little or a little farm outside the village the wine all came from the neighboring villages bread was fresh made every day it's a paradise at the same time there were young kids who were just like doing ecstasy and going to rave parties in the forest because there was no hope there was no employment there were people like guys who worked on job sites that i worked on because i was doing construction work down there who literally were wearing like pieces of rope for their belts for for four month jobs that i worked on and i was like why don't you buy a belt they were like i can't afford a belt there's also a fashion statement it just seems to me i'm just trying to say don't romanticize it there is uh there is hard times here and you know it's not like what i described what you described and what i described is a pretty comfortable sector those are people who are working in the state bureaucracy or as functionaries they're working they have a permanent job a permanent contract so they can afford to borrow money to buy a car or buy an apartment or a house things like that or retirees who have worked well so yeah there's better state services there's more unemployment there's lower wages and and at the same time it's you know it's a modern innovative country so it's definitely not an undeveloped country or anything but i i don't think it's fair to romanticize it to the to the degree you do there it has different problems than the united states that comes from its own particular history and economic policy and government but it has problems there you know not it's not all roses for by any by any stretch of the imagination all right we're gonna move on to great britain but let me get to the last word okay i live in manhattan and i have a i'm pissed off because i have hair transplants and i walk around you're you're going for the tmi no no no i'm making a a big grand point here okay and i see homeless men with full shocks of hair and i look at them and i think you have a full shock of hair and you're living on the streets and i walk up to them because i want to feel better about myself i'm france and the homeless guy with a full shock of hair is america and i get in the face of these homeless guys with their full hair of hair and i say my worst day my nightmare is your wet dream and then i walk away i do this i'm kidding but the point i'm making is i don't know what i know the point i'm making is i have a feeling that if you spent more time in america you would conclude that a french person no homeless hang on let me hang on no they're sleeping under the bridge uh within a mile for me okay i can walk 500 yards from my apartment and they're guys sleeping under the bridge i guarantee you the second thing is i lived in uh i lived in the equivalent of trump country down south it's like the the french equivalent of mississippi all right so i've seen you know there there there were places there were houses like there are people i knew people who didn't have indoor plumbing down there okay i knew guys who were like 65 70 years old who were still mixing cement for minimum wage and they couldn't read so come on you know it's not it's there there's i guarantee there's an under there's like a there's there's bad there's bad stuff here it's not like uh it's not like ever it's not like some socialist utopia or anything okay i'm gonna challenge you the imagination i'm gonna challenge you okay then we'll get to i'm gonna get to great bridge i know i'm gonna here's my challenge for next time if you want to come back next week i'm surprised you invite me back your reader you don't get listeners who uh complain about me i'm not too neoliberal and what i'm not running in an echo chamber here with my listeners okay your heart your heart is in the right place your brain is a little tilting little tilting to the right but i think it's gotten top heavy from all the book learning you're doing i think i think you're too i think what happens is you've loaded yourself up with so much information eventually you kind of tilt to the neoliberal right but i hear your heart's in the right place i think you i've given up you know what i'll tell you you know what my problem is david it's it's that i've i no longer uh i no longer believe necessarily that there's that there are policy solutions okay on the right or the left i don't trust government i don't trust the private sector i don't necessarily think we can i think there are certain problems that are we might not be able to solve and that uh that for that reason i have trouble saying yes i agree with this politician or no i disagree with that politician and i see the global system as well and how pieces fit in and so that's where i can say well in the global system that's not going to be too effective so i can say this will work better than this or what have you but ultimately i think that we when we solve one problem we replace it with a couple others that's normal um and and then fundamentally i think we mentioned this the last time there's this balance when it comes to government do you want liberty or do you want equality and the more you want equality which i think is what you want right the more you want redistribution redistribution to to achieve equality the less you're going to have freedom of action that sounds pretty cpac to me my friend but that's what they say at cpac but i don't say i'm not a libertarian and i don't say it should all be on liberty because the government plays a vital role in terms of regulating the market in terms of taking care of things that the market doesn't take care of like the commons like uh protecting the environment things like that i'm not saying the marketplace and private sector is and freedom of action is the only solution i'm just saying that for me i see both sides of the argument i value liberty and i value equality and being humane to people right so that's why it seems like but i'm by no means am i am i cpac or am i calling for that we ignore the needs of our of the least fortunate and the most vulnerable that would be me i think we tend to when we're in an ivory tower we tend to have this mannequin view of the world where we use words to frame debate as opposed to reality in other words in america we framed the debate liberty versus freedom and you can't have both that's liberty versus equality i'm sorry liberty versus equality but that's also the french revolution is sort of a tug a tug of war between those two poles which is decided by the intellect intellectuals that that's the tug of war the same way the gross domestic product is a yardstick right that is made up we we you took me to task for this in the past because i talked about some of my background but i'm not in the ivory tower i mean i dropped out of college it was a prestigious university but i dropped out i don't have a college degree i spent years working as an undigreed social worker first on the lower east side of Manhattan then with uh with uh juvenile juvenile gang members in watsonville south of uh santa cruz in california i managed income housing in in texas it's not to say that i'm some saint or anything but and then i lived in this village down south where i saw a totally different slice of life again you took me to task i'm not taking a task no i mentioned it before you took me to task like i was trying to paint myself as a saint but i'm not i'm just trying to say i don't i'm not detached from reality i mean i don't know i didn't i see when i i can't walk by someone who's sleeping under the bridge and not see them okay hang on so i recognize what you're saying hang on i was you know a lot of this stuff is abstract and that there's real suffering and there's real inequality and there's real human costs to to to a lot of this stuff and that the whole sort of rhetoric of third way you know is is is detached from that i recognize that i agree with that i'm not one of those people by any means hang on for one second i'm honored that you do this show i'm i would never take you to task you know so much more than i i'm i mean world politics review is as good if not better than foreign affairs which you know it's amazing but you started this thing so i would not compare i'm sorry what we're we're in in a collegial way i would not compare ourselves with anyone everyone does it everyone does a good job at what they're doing and but uh but you are i appreciate that's an enormous compliment right and so i would never take you to task you know so much more than i do i have to do a show here so i would never be rude to you i just tease you about having me i i tease you about having neoliberal tendencies and i'm jealous that you've spent 17 years living in france right and the only thing i have over you is that your heart hasn't withered no you're still you still have a a shred of decency left no that i the only thing i know that i can claim to know more than you do is what's going on in america because you haven't been here for 17 years absolutely and i can't and i'm not going to do a show where everybody agrees with everybody because that's boring and i need my listeners to to pay attention and wake up and it's more interesting if there's a little conflict but i would never say that you're out of touch or anything like that well with the with what's going i mean with the go what's going on going on in the states i'm i'm dependent on the news media and uh and indirect and people who i know who are there but right i'm not i'm not in touch with what's happening on the ground in america but i would i would just again say it's everything that so many from from a lot of what i've been reading in the states about the states it seems like a lot of america has been has sort of self segregated into these opposing camps that don't really know a whole lot about each other and that's why i feel like that's one thing even if it's outdated at this point because i left so long ago that was one thing that in in the the way my life happened to unfold and it wasn't due to any sort of virtue on my part it was just opportunities and life choices that i made i was not cloistered in one side or the other i was very privileged growing up i have a lot of educational advantages and capital and at the same time i worked in circumstances and and in environments where i was exposed to all different kinds of people and backgrounds and all different kinds of of america okay and i think that that is something that unfortunately that's that's precious it would be great if more and more people uh had that because what i've found is that in general when people engage with each other on a level that is not politics first then their political differences are manageable so if people engage by working together on something or uh or a joint interest whether it's a sporting an athletic activity or a craft or something like that then all the other conversations that can be so polarizing are a lot easier and you actually have a real full-fledged human being in front of you that you you're interested in hearing their point of view and i think the problem is that because there's this this uh this widespread sort of divide in in the different americas that the only point of engagement is on these political differences and that's where things become very volatile and the same thing is is true here in france when it comes to the the national front for instance um you know so it's nothing that's unique to the us but i think that that's the most uh the most uh alarming development i would say in terms of society and culture and politics well let me tell you a little bit about me before we get to great britain two things i'm not sure i'm gonna have time for i know i know but hang on two things one is next week if you'll come back i want you to find the french person who is in the worst shape imaginable okay you go out on the streets i will wander the streets of manhattan and i will find what is this the misery olympics the misery olympics i i there's a guy who i've seen a block and a half away from me he's an eyeball that's all he is it's just an eyeball all right david i have a guy i have two people within a hundred yards living on the sidewalk i have a guy in my apartment i have a guy this is awful this i hope you edit this out i have i have a guy who is an eyeball and he's near sighted this is awful there's misery everywhere that's that's an awful part of the reality of human society but i don't know of any human society that's eliminated it i guarantee you juda that when i i'm gonna enter eating i can't believe this we're eating for who had more miserable people living on the street in front of their house i have a guy who is just an eyeball and he's near sighted and i guarantee you if you spoke to him i'll hook you up to him via skype on next week's show and know what he would say to you he would give his cornea to live in paris in france yeah right well we are though on the street it here or all right let's uh we're yeah we only we have 10 minutes is that fair to say the 10 minutes okay 10 minutes for great britain which is about what it you know well why don't we do this i want to do a service to my listeners sure okay they can get great britain elsewhere okay tell me about cutter okay well i'm going to mispronounce it and say katar i made a decision today i'm just going to miss mispronounce country names and politicians names because i don't speak arabic so rather than try to say it correctly i'll just say it as i would pronounce it in english so i'm just getting that out of the way to begin with okay the big story with katar cutter is as we understand it here in the united states is they are a small little country in the persian gulf they gave us al jazeera i saw the emir on 60 minutes he's very progressive women do very well in cutter they are oil rich and they are now in between they're in between iraq in a hard place they're in between iran did it resist huh yeah and saudi arabia what's going on and supposedly trump orchestrated this conflict what what is going on i would say trump orchestrated so so basically you have this isn't a new these these aren't new tensions these are long-standing tensions that have to do with intro gulf rivalries some of them have to do with rivalries among royal families katar saudi arabia sort of considers itself the big the big the big guy the big man on the block in the persian gulf to reduce it to to simple terms and kind of assumes leadership based on its size based also on the fact that it's the guardian of the holy sites of islam and with the united arab emirates alongside it has has all has long seen katar sort of this upstart because katar used its its gas money starting about 10 years ago maybe even a little further back to kind of engage in this maverick foreign policy where they were funding different groups across the middle east uh investing in real estate for instance in paris and in london buying soccer clubs so forging ties soft power ties uh hosting military bases the us military central command has its advanced headquarters in the in katar and so started doing started doing this maverick foreign policy that not only sort of offended the saudi's sense of regional leadership but also was in direct opposition to their own policy goals because in particular katar was financing muslim brotherhood parties and organizations al jazeera was broadcasting very critical news and analysis on saudi arabia and saudi arabia's brand of of islam that they fund and so this sort of put this put katar at odds with in particular saudi arabia and the united arab emirates which is very hostile to the muslim brotherhood and so what happened more recently is that there have been these long-standing questions about financing of these groups and then also katar had a more open approach to iran uh which oman also does which is a member of the gulf cooperation council so you know there's a range of of postures within this the persian gulf in terms of openness and closeness to iran uh katar tried to develop channels of communication which are valuable for instance when it comes time to reducing tensions between saudi arabia and iran um so but also annoyed saudi arabia and the ua which is fighting which are both fighting a number of proxy wars against iran across the region and so basically you have i hate to bring it back to uh our friend donald trump but he sort of wanders into this hornet's nest the the sort of the the naive ignorant uh guy but who thinks he knows everything and the the saudis really played him very adeptly because they flattered him uh they gave him a wish list of military hardware that they were going to buy and investments they were going to make and because uh either trump didn't pay attention during the briefings he got from his security team his national security team or because he didn't retain it uh he basically just absorbed the saudi line hook line and sinker on iran and also apparently on katar um and so when he left the the the conjecture is that the saudis felt very empowered to bring these sort of lingering tensions to ahead and it it's sort of the the catalyst was what the kataris claim was a a hack of their new service that uh that credited or accredited certain comments to the kataria mere uh that were critical of the saudis and that's talked to bragged about their close ties with iran and so that was sort of the catalyst but again these tensions were there under the surface this just brought them to the surface um and and so what then happened is to the surprise of everyone uh trump instead of tamping down tensions which is what uh james madis his secretary of defense and rex tillerson his secretary of state tried to do trump pours fuel on the fire and says yeah the kataris are funding terrorism when i went to riyadh and talked about having to stop funding terrorism everyone pointed a katar so he just sort of bought this line hook line and sinker and and that has instead of uh sort of walking the tensions back had the the the result of the effect of escalating them uh so the saudis and the emirates uh they they closed the land borders they they refused access to their airspace so in in some ways katar uh it was semi blockaded i mean they still have the use of other ports and other access ways and the iranians are sending in food and and supplies and the turks are sending in food and supplies so it's it's basically uh added fuel to the fire not only within the gulf but also within the broader region and and what it has done is to to really contrast and bring it to very stark contrast the way in which uh trumps call for for for unity in the fight against the islamic state uh is was just is ignorant and and overlooks all of the underlying tensions in the coalition that has functioned for better or worse in syria and iraq uh but that you know is is is just riddled with internal factions and in fighting and people financing opposing groups and and competing groups and things like that so that's sort of where the issue stands now the the common the the the conventional wisdom is that the kataris will compromise and offer some concessions uh to their neighbors and that things will sort of go back to normal uh but the truth is that the the the gulf cooperation council the gcc which is the regional organization and more broadly just the gulf and regional cooperation in general on a lot of these pressing issues is going to be weakened and undermined and it would take a good amount of american diplomacy and diplomacy by other countries as well to to re to to short things up and that's gonna that sadly is in very short short supply right now given that a lot of the key offices in the state department have been unfilled and that trump is repeatedly undermining his cabinet uh his cabinet uh level uh officers so it's it's it's not necessarily it's it's a situation that will probably remain under control but just shows the degree to which this is all very complex stuff and trump doesn't seem to have any uh desire or capability to get get himself up to speed on it two quick questions before you go yeah before we start you're explaining to me that cutter is a primarily suny nation from what yeah i mean at the same time uh i i think the the the population the the the the proportion like uh i don't have the percentages off hand but uh katari citizens are a small us are not an overwhelming proportion of residents because they bring in foreign workers um so but yes it's a it's a suny a suny monarchy it's not like Bahrain which is a suny monarchy in a shia majority country uh it's a suny it's a suny a suny monarchy it's a suny monarchy in a suny majority country in a suny but it's a tiny country i mean it's a peninsula state with uh i don't have to figure it's off hand but it's not tens of millions of people there i mean that's it's it's a small country we're trained to see things in black and white and we've often divided the middle east into suny's versus shiai although the alawites and syria are an ad mixture the question i'm asking you is religion doesn't really play a part in this does it if iran is coming to the aid of iran is a shiai nation right well religion plays a part to the extent and again i'd like to caveat all this i'm not an area expert i my expertise on this comes from editing area experts on it but from what i understand two things particular to this particular dispute it's not religious in the sense of it's not sectarian in the sense of shiai versus suny it's religious to the extent that the qataris promote a different kind of islam than the saudis and a different relationship between islam and politics and the then the saudis and emirates do the qataris supported islamic parties islamist parties like the muslim brotherhood in egypt that the saudis helped overthrow with the the general lcc who is now the president of egypt the emirates are fiercely anti muslim muslim brotherhood and so for instance in libya they were supporting different militias on the ground in syria they're funding different militias on the ground in egypt they were on opposing sides so that so it's religious to that extent but it's not this suny shiai now with regard to the suny shiai divide and again this is from reading regional experts rather than being one myself what from what i understand this is a latent tension that can be brought to the surface or smoothed out depending on the broader context and the needs of the the rulers in place and so in in that sense it's similar to the kinds of tensions that came out in yugoslavia after the breakup in the x in the x yugoslavia so there were neighbors who lived together for years and years and then when the yugoslavia the the entity known as yugoslavia fell suddenly it became ethno-sectarian so but but at the same time these were neighbors who whose kids grew up together they went to the same schools they might have been some tensions now and then but it wasn't a defining character characteristic of of the the sociocultural interactions the same thing can be said in terms of the the persian gulf in the middle east in the sense that you know you look at lebanon syria even iraq these are very cosmet cosmopolitan countries with huge blends demographic blends right and they can go through years and years of peaceful coexistence and then certain things will happen and raise tensions and they become very difficult to put back in the into the box and so i think you know even between saudi arabia and iran their their relations go are cyclical uh there there have been times when they've been warmer and times when they've been uh uh less warm now they're very they're very hostile to each other there have been other times where they haven't been so in these periods of time those sectarian differences really start driving a lot of other stuff but they're not fatalistic it doesn't mean that sunnis and shiites can never live together or will never be able to uh from what i understand uh from the the most from the most of the regional experts that i've read so it's not something that necessarily is is a given it's not something that's fatalistic these aren't populations or societies that cannot coexist they have in the past historically and they for for all we know they might in the future they're going through a period right now of intense tension and crisis and proxy wars and that obviously is very hard to put back into the box once once it once it comes out well you've been very generous with your time and i just have an observation to make and i'd like you to respond to this and then you're free to go you have you have freedom i've i've earned or good freedom for good behavior but not equality okay you're much smarter so it's not you don't have equality but you do have your freedom it's i'm about to give it to you we had azer uzman on the show last week he's a brilliant stand-up comic actor playwright and lawyer but don't hold that against him right and he is a muslim american a practicing muslim and very brave and very funny and very smart and we were talking about islam and religion and how religion is co-opted by leaders to use issues for their own gain in other words you have a problem now you need the people behind you to support your stance so you bring religion into it it's one tool among others for manipulation okay looking at very well said in cutter is it safe to say right now this is not a religious issue i'm not sure what you mean i mean it's religious like i said in the sense that it's competing agendas for for how to project uh different brands of islam in the region but it's whether political islam or religious islam but would you say that right now it's when you really scratch the surface it's about something other than religion oh there's certainly other aspects yeah i mean there's there's like i said there's that sort of there's the competition and rivalry for for leadership there's the uh the the there's the the question of leadership but more fundamentally uh political question you know of who who has other who has more influence in other capitals right and so that is being expressed in some ways through religion uh because in the aftermath of the arab spring there was the these openings in egypt for the muslim brotherhood which had been repressed and in libya and so qatar was financing those groups and that was something that the saudis were very hostile to because the muslim brotherhood is could be a competitor to the saudi monarchy so the saudis are really adamant about a monarchy separate from the clergy and the the qataris were trying to fund movements that want to integrate political islam into government and so that's a very uh a divergent point of view so it's religious to that extent but it's not uh it's not the 30 years war or anything like that and the muslim brotherhood is out of egypt and they tend to be soony isn't this where osama bin laden and al-qaeda had their roots uh the the number the the current leader of al-qaeda uh i want to say zawari but i could be one of themologist exactly he was in the egyptian muslim brotherhood i believe he was imprisoned and tortured yeah uh and and that led him to then adopt a more radical version the muslim brotherhood had sort of moderated and and agreed to work within politics uh the the you know a similar model would be turkey in terms of their governing party which is a moderate islamist party uh that wanted to uh reintroduce a certain element of religious conservatism into the social moors of the country um but generally governed as a as you know with with economic governments and policy uh that wasn't determined by religion um we're going to work but the saudis were very hostile to that and and essentially backed up uh el-sisi when he when he overthrew morsi uh and and bloodily and brutally repressed the muslim brotherhood you get the last word here's my conclusion from this conversation and this was great because we didn't discuss trump here's my very very obliquely yeah al-zawari the current head of al-qaeda ophthalmologist the head of syria Assad ophthalmologist i don't know if they were dentists i'd see something to what you're getting where you're getting but ophthalmologist isn't doesn't strike me as ran paul ran paul senator ran paul is an ophthalmologist i think honestly there i have to object i'm gonna i'm going to object i think it's unfair regardless of your political uh differences with ran paul to generalize and put him in the same category as bashar al-asad and al-zawari al-zawari al-zawari yeah you know why because al-zawari and asad are not defending trump the way ran paul is to my knowledge uh ran paul has not been accused of brutally murdering innocent people he's defending donald trump i david i i i'm urging you i mean as an intervention come back to the light i'm telling you come back to the if you lived in america politics it's not chemical warfare ran paul has not dropped barrel bombs you i'm not i'm not saying i agree with him actually some of the things i bet you would agree with him on in terms of foreign policies but he's very heavily in favor of a foreign policy of restraint he's has a racist past and when you i'm not defending him in any way but i would not put him in the same category as a war crime as war criminals and terrorists i'm saying all ophthalmologists are war criminals that's what i'm saying beware of ophthalmologists if they were dentists i consider i consider the argument ophthalmologists they're a good bunch i i they make us look distinguished we get to you know have the spectacles and that's you see your problem is you trust ophthalmologists so you can't see what's actually going on you get the last word what would you like my listeners to do you have a podcast tell me about your podcast uh yes we do we have a podcast called trendlines it goes live every friday and we have an opening segment where i talk with uh our senior editor freddy dechnitel about uh one of or a couple of the top stories in international affairs that week and then the second segment is usually a in-depth look at a topic that generally isn't a top headline or in the spotlight so you get a little bit of the headline news and then a look at a quieter story with an expert who's usually written an article for us that week on the topic so it's a it's a great uh overview of uh of interesting topics from week to week it's i i'm not as good a host as you are though david i have to say well you've got i've been trying to take notes as i as i do your show i'm doing your show my it's uh it's research when i do your show how to be a better podcast host i owe all my skills to my anti ophthalmology stance that i was raised never we had we live next door to an ophthalmologist and he set fire to our apartment growing up ophthalmologists cannot be trusted and you're you're part of the did it purposely did it purposely he accidentally yeah i'll tell you something i we have to go but i we don't have time uh jude i'll tell you stay on the line for one quick second this was our best our best session um i just wish i had hit the record button i really do you know what because i don't have an ophthalmologist i can't see the where the record button is but it's all part of the conspiracy you didn't hit it no i'm kidding of course i hit it i was gonna because i'm coming to new york on july 3rd i was gonna schedule a stop outside your apartment oh good wait come into the studio oh yeah great i will yeah top of line before i come i'll be there from uh the third through the 16th okay and we came up with a a new show a new show title tmi maybe we'll look that up okay juda grenstein is the editor in chief of world politics review he joined us from paris can you stand the line i can very briefly it's been a great pleasure as always talking with you david it's always a lot of fun and i'm very glad that that you feel that i can be of any interest to your to your listeners i i'm honored to have you on the show and i am amazed by your breath of knowledge all i can do is interrupt it's the depth it's very shallow i have a great breath of breath of knowledge but it's it's inch deep all i'm capable of doing is interrupting you and i'm like a snake coiled in the grass waiting for you to say something where i'm going oh i know something about that i'll interrupt him here that's it's uh kind of like trying to live with somebody you love who is just waiting for you to use the differences david between a wasp and a jew what a wasp leaves without saying goodbye and a jew says goodbye without leaving joining us from san francisco is our resident film critic michael snider these are the movies he's going to be reviewing today the mummy megan and levy my cousin rachel the hero the hunter's prayer and the last men in a lepo let's talk about the mummy is that with tom cruise i'm afraid so and you will not want your mummy if you uh if you get my drift here the mummy is crummy uh let's put it this way this is universal attempts to capitalize on their long-running monster movie series that developed in the 30s and 40s and went on to have many many revisions sequels reimagining now they would like to do what marvel and dc the two comic book companies have done respectively with disney and with warner brothers and that's to make a shared cinematic universe using all of these famous monsters of the past movie history like the mummy the wolf man frankenstein and his monster dracula etc they had a couple abortive starts dracula untold was uh should have been dracula unseen for instance and there was a wolf man movie with benicio del toro which i kind of liked but they're starting fresh ostensibly with this mummy and i'll tell you what the wonder woman film that came out a week or so ago uh certainly as head and shoulders the best thing that warners and dc did in their um shared cinematic universe that includes the batman superman films and it's the way to properly do a blockbuster but right out of the gate universals branded dark universe is uh more like a dork universe in the most unflattering ways the plot is a purile pastiche of old horror and sci-fi tropes with ledden dialogue and weak comic relief that counter very tired cgi effects you know sandstorms and the such as soldier of fortune tom cruise woefully miscast and his buddy uh also a guy out there to snatch up relics despite being in the middle east as part of america's military forces uh come upon essentially a entombed mummy along with a young woman who has actually specialized in these relics uh and of course uh they bring the the corpse the bandaged corpse back to one that in all hell breaks loose i mean one great action sequence in a plane is fine and i mean oh for the joys of the brendan frazier rachel vice i did fair mummy movie that stole from indiana jones and some of the classic mummy tales of your i think 1999 that came out but it did that with such a verb and a little let's call it wick jake johnson by the way who plays uh cruises pal uh there's a guy from tv's new girl anabelle wallis who plays the young woman working for this organization that seeks out these monster oriented relics was wonderful as an irish bartender an agent in tiki blankers a period tv series that i highly recommend sophia buckella who plays the female mummy of the title was great in the kingsman movie and we also get russell crow who is the only actor in this film who actually makes something of his character someone meant to be the lynchpin for this proposed universal shared monster verse he's playing dr henry jackal get it you know as in jackal and hide he seems to be having a ball uh they're going to maybe make bright of frankenstein next unless this thing tanks so terribly that they can't bring themselves to do it there's rumors that the angelic angelina joly's playing the attitular bride but that presumes that this thing will not tank uh the mummy uh a grave pardon the expression disappointment should have been left inside the pyramid uh where it belongs you are what studio made it universal yeah they've made the original right right well that's what i just said i know universal has this stable of monsters and and they're trying to have their universal monster verse that they're calling dark universe yeah the questionable brain uh so yeah there you have it should we move on to megan weavey megan and levy no no just megan weavey why do you say megan and levy because i wrote down megan and levy you're just not paying attention they were my original divorce attorneys ah there we go now we're getting to the heart of the issue um megan levy is a very good docu drama about a young marine corporal whose um discipline and her bond with a military combat dog saved a whole bunch of lives during their deployment in iraq it's a real story it's um very well told uh it stars kate mara and uh tom felton who is best known as draco malfoy from the harry potter films who replace um and um unrecognizably so and thoroughly american and noble he plays an expert army canine handler who is sort of the mentor of uh young megan weavey uh so it's the tail of a dog and the woman who grows to love it while she personally grows and begins to thrive as a human being in the uh the combat zone does she love the are you saying this is a tail or she falls in love with the tail of the dog it's the tail of a dog with a tail and i have to say as we tail off in sensibility here it's very very well done um it's uh directed by a woman named gabriella calpric weight and written by a couple of women and a man one of the writers of the of the script is annie mimolo who is um christin wigs uh writing partner on bridesmaids so this is a real change of tone for her and i was uh you know i enjoy the dog does the dog poop outside as well like they did in bridesmaid the dog stands on its hind legs and delivers crazy quips down again as it's sniffing out bombs you know i just thought about sniffing out bombs you think that the dog would have warned me about the mummy anyway i thought i thought this was a kate mara is very winning in this she's like she's playing a working class kid who's just aimless her life is going to crack her mom played by eddie falco um you know is is a nightmare she's a nightmare and she just enlists in the marines and next thing you know is it pro war is it it's pro i think it's pro dog it's not really pro war it's just accepts war as a uh as the circumstance that megan finds herself in does it criticize our involvement you know american sniper i had to turn off because it didn't question why he was there i just couldn't get through this is this is not about that this is about a woman looking for purpose in her life who finds it uh in the armed forces and uh ends up getting a kind of a sense of herself and and becomes a better person because of her relationship with this dog and her attempt to save lives from the devastating i uds out in the theater of war did you just say i uds that what i meant no i guess i didn't mean i uds i uds yeah i you sound like you sound like ted cruz you sound like one of those pro life republicans who does another difference between the i ud and an i ed you think they both kill life if you talk about i uds i uds and pro life it's kind of confusing i know i eds yes i ed all right so we should go see megan levy well you should maybe watch it on video or or support it in the theaters i think it's going to be a good view on um one of the uh premium cable channels it's worth your time speaking of american sniper clint eastwood directed that not a fan of clint eastwood not a fan of his politics not a fan of his movies maybe million dollar baby i kind of like that right and i noticed the new york times voted that one of the top 25 films of the 21st century and i i i thought it was pretty good especially the uh the ending it was very uplifting agreed i i think his next film maybe you kids get off my lawn is going to be a good one though didn't he make that with the the car the pontiac or what was that for transient was it yeah it was called transient well it should have been called get off my lawn i think that really would have sold the movie uh get off my line but i watched sully with right clint eastwood directing and tom hanks it's a masterpiece if he's a fine director when he has a good script and he generally has great instincts for casting he knows what he's doing i'll tell you what i talked about this last week some of these old guys have not lost a step ken loach is 80 and i uh you know the movie that i reviewed last week i daniel whatever the hell his last name is man that that the that's a fine fine film all right my cousin rachel is this a sequel to my cousin vinnie you wish not at all by the way written and directed by robert mitchell who is best known for doing knotting hill this is an adaptation of a daphne du more a book and uh it stars oddly enough and we mentioned earlier as being the co-star of the good recent mummy movie recent being 1999 rachel vice plays my cousin rachel must not have been too confusing on the set anyway this is rather gothic as a young englishman decides to uh unmask and get revenge against this mysterious beautiful cousin that he thinks murdered his guardian and is just trying to collect all the money left to her in the wake of this guy's death uh he doesn't really um expect to be you know drawn into her whip booked by her beauty and grace and elegance so um it's not a modern romantic comedy like knotting hill at all dark gothic period piece and it's well done you know with the storm battered english coastal dwellings and you know the heather on the heath and etc etc you know vice is deep and bewitching and inscrutable as racial you can't beat that she really does a wonderful job in you know kind of misleading you and drawing you in herself uh the same class one as philip who is both instigator and victim in the situation he's quite good you know he's a little on the callow side and the pampered side and he's trying to make sure that his meal ticket isn't taken away from him uh the inheritance and uh the lovely holiday granger who played uh she actually played Lucretia Borgia in the mini series of borgias opposite uh Jeremy irons as uh the pope borgia the borgia pope she's in this thing uh ian glenn from uh game of thrones plays a family friend and advisor um everybody does what they're supposed to do still just gets a little bog down and a little turgid at times so with all the furtive whispers and hidden agendas again start to wear you down a little bit but you know far from the weathering crowd of sense and sensibility you know if you like that kind of stuff i think you're going to eat up my cousin rachel and again rachel vice is uh she's a wonderful and talented actress and you know she carries the film and one of my favorite songs from the sound of music rachel vice would be what rachel vice oh rachel vise rachel vise yeah yeah i love that was it as good as nodding hill did we like nodding hill yeah nodding hill was sweet entertainment but this this you know is a slog a bit of a slog it's you know again she's wonderful in it and the the period detail as well uh well executed and you know it just it just ended up being a little oh i guess i used the word already but we'll use it again turgid turgid speaking of turgid speaking of turgid i directed the porn version of nodding hill did you know that it must have it must have a zany title what would that be no it didn't have a zany title i i directed it i didn't write the script i didn't come up with the title it was called nodding i'm sorry it was called nodded rag it was a gay porn nodded rag it was a gay porno uh i never understood huh i know i'm sitting here nodding i'm nodding off hey let's move can we move on yeah i'm just a host standing in front of a movie critic asking him to love me that's all giving the layer to laugh at you well you're gonna have to do a little more pressure digitization uh in the humor department uh but let's move on can we move on well i just i yeah we can move on don't get so grumpy you're getting grumpy i'm fun you know i i'm thinking about the turgid gothic romance and i'm thinking there must be something more to life than that okay chris christie's favorite movie the hero delicious though that that would be the hoagie or the grinder the hero okay man the hero to me was very well done and again it's a it's a personality uh profile it's a it's a portrait of of someone in crisis like making leaving a way but radically different it's about a movie star aging and dealing with illness who has to kind of face what's going on in his life and confront his own mortality and did they get the perfect guy to play the titular hero i like that word titular uh sam elliot whose drawl is all over commercials who always plays a rough hewn western icon type and so when they do little vignettes in the hero showing the work this actor did it's always uh you think oh yeah i saw sam elliot in that movie even though these are uh little scenes and segments that were shot and written and shot and acted specifically for this film one of the wonderful things about the movie other than elliot being like a comfortable shoe in terms of the character is that it probably truly reflects aspects of elliot's life you see this guy whose uh film career sort of dwindled a little bit but he's making bank doing commercial voiceovers so you see sam elliot it what might really be a sam elliot commercial voiceover doing that but he also has a personal life and in that life uh one of his best friends is dealer nick offerman that's not actually the name of the character he's the great comic actor nick offerman plays uh the sam elliot character is dealer and uh he also has a daughter who's been estranged from him christin ridder of uh jessica jones and uh don't trust the bitch from apartment 23 is this text writer's granddaughter not at all she's a lovely former model who was a wonderful and engaging actress and part of the big marvel mega universe uh with the netflix show no relation to no relation to john ridder no not at all war to jason ridder john ridder's actual son is also an actor and former this is yet another ridder there are other ridders out there my friends okay and she's one of uh laura prepon from that 70 show and oranges the uh new black plays a young woman who becomes fascinated by this old dude and of course that's the sort of thing that gives an old guy like me hope but that aside everybody's fine we kind of been here before we've seen this kind of thing before but there is something so reassuring and engaging with sam elliot at the heart uh essentially playing a less acclaimed version of himself um you know it's it's it worked uh i guess co-written and directed by brett hailey uh i thought the hero of again like megan webe is worth seeing it and would probably be just fine on your home entertainment uh set up if you catch it on online streaming or watch it on one of the cable channels but you know if you want to support this sort of thing uh you know go to a movie theater the hero is a solid uh portrait of a man in crisis sam sam elliot was in a very underrated movie from the 70s called the lifeguard which when it came on television i would watch over and over again because paul williams wrote the theme song do you remember a movie called the lifeguard he plays an aging lifeguard who he plays an aging everything has he ever played a young man in his entire career he ages right he does he always you know buy a Chevrolet and smoke this cigar and he always one of those guys you know he seems to have that thing i would rather honestly i would rather sit down and have a beer with uh sam elliot than then you know clenice would any day yeah and he took a lot of ribbing growing up in that small british coal town wanting to be a dancer oh no that was billy you're confusing him with billy elliot come on come on oh my mistake all right what was there any movie that sam elliot was in that was a big hit i mean up in the air he you know he came in at the end but i mean plays a dancer no did sam elliot ever break through and he's been he's been in a few good westerns and stuff yeah he's got a nice filmography we don't have to rattle it off but he does he's he's made some fine films and he always delivers that sort of rough hune sometimes folksy frequently uh uh effortlessly charming despite his uh you know his sort of drawl and his like leather chaps and what have you he's just a good actor and he's got a great presence and a very specific one the hunter's prayer um you know if you've seen lay on the professional uh you kind of see a better version of this movie if you've seen the taken movies and we were joking about them last week you've seen a better version of this movie if you would sub Liam Neeson for Sam Worthington of avatar fame in this film you've got a slightly better b movie but still it's not bad for what it is it's basically about an assassin who um has as his target a young girl a college girl uh who is away at school in Switzerland when her father and her father's second wife are killed by other assassins and there's one more member of the family that's got to be taken out and it's our heroine and that would be the character Ella played by Odea Rush so Sam Worthington is Lucas the assassin and it turns out that the assassin in addition to having a drug problem also kind of has a and decides he's going to protect her from the villainous and vile uh head honcho of a grand and perverse corporation and interesting uh in the case of uh of the villain it's played by Alan Leach who was one of the more lovable people on Downton Abbey here he plays a full on prick and does a really good job and I don't know if you've ever watched line of duty which is a terrific British police uh procedural that it goes beyond what we do on our American police procedurals because you know the British uh Martin Compton who's kind of I should mention that line line of duty was also a documentary about the Porto San at the Puerto Rican Day parade in Manhattan on Sunday I know I know it's all about the beans uh Martin Compton plays the other assassin and uh you know you figured they're gonna eventually face off um I was entertained by this um it plays out the way you expect you to hope and expect it would I stream it you know I'm just telling you it's not anything to go see in a movie theater but the hunter's prayer uh how shall I put this not terrible boy is that damning with pink grace this one is intriguing last man in a lepo uh this is a documentary that opened a few weeks ago in New York and Los Angeles if I'm not mistaken and it won the grand jury prize uh for documentaries at Sundance and rightly so it is the collaborative effort of a Syrian filmmaker uh a guy named Firas Fayad and a Danish co-director uh Steen Johansson and it's basically cinema verite right in the middle of the Syrian conflict um as they follow with their cameras a few of the members of the white helmets which apparently basically it's kind of like a a citizen's militia who are trying to save people when the bombs drop in Aleppo and uh so there's a um a few of them Khaled Asoubi and Mahmoud um are kind of founders of the group uh white helmets and the movie follows them during their days in the middle of this you know horror uh as they try to um you know get people out of the rubble and and and and also deal with the fact of either they're going to be in there in the midst of this like ground zero nightmare in Syria or they and their families are going to bail out if they can and take the refugee route so there there's the aspects of the morality and the question of whether or not you abandon your home country uh just for the salvation and the greater safety or whether you fight for it or try to preserve what you love and what was so dear to you and it's it's kind of amazing these people have guts man they are um they are courageous and and steadfast and i thought it was a you know eye-opening to say the least uh and obviously worth uh seeking out and watching your thoughts on the passing of adam west the star of batman who gave us a second career parroting himself much the same way william shatner did adam west great sense of irony terribly terribly funny charming man and everyone i know who knew him now knew him said he was a sweetheart and very generous as a performer and generous as a uh as a celebrity to those who followed him and loved him uh you know not only has gobbum city lost its protector or it's the most beloved protector because it's kind of hard to love the batman of the you know dark night series he's kind of a bastard and uh and you know it was wacky and campy but the 60 60 cv batman tv program was for many people the quintessential batman the first thing they saw in electronic media that depicted the comic book hero that is now obviously not only a brand but a marketing uh giant and obviously central to dc's uh warner brothers movies that we talked about a little earlier adam west was funny and and wacky and at the same time elegant in the way and we've lost that batman and we've also lost the mayor of quayhawk uh in the guy uh for some reason uh the set mcfarland for what you know we're going to bring adam west end to play the mayor of the town where the uh cartoon family the griffins lives and he made fun of his um persona uh he delivered some of the biggest laughs in the whole family guy run as far as i'm concerned yeah there's a sequence where where the void shows up uh from the piece of ads and the mayor west takes the little guy and basically slams him against the wall and you know renders him unconscious and you know it's it i i've laughed out loud at innumerable times um when adam west delivered his lines on family guy great stuff uh some of my children came of age comedically watching family guy and adam west mayor west was one of my daughter's obsessions she thought adam what but not having seen batman you know who else loved adam west was conan o bryan and robert smigel they were huge fans of adam west put together that pilot for that hilariously funny tv show that was way ahead of its time starring him it was a uh parody of you know the private detective uh police procedurals and such extremely funny no laugh track and the networks didn't buy it you can actually seek it out uh on youtube i think but uh you know he was a very talented man and he had a lot of he was just lovable and genial and people just got a kick out of him i one of the last things he did that had anything to do with the batman franchise was something called i believe return of the cape crusaders and it was a dc animated cartoon that came out in the past year that was inspired by and kind of mimic and uh you know reproduced the campy 60s batman stories and it was funny he did the voiceovers and obviously batman was depicted as a young and vital man but you could still hear you know the quaver a slight quaver of age that he had and it was a little you know kind of it made me think it made me think about how much longer we have this guy on the planet and sadly he took the bat rocket into the heavens where he's joining a lot of my pop culture heroes right now before you go there's some videos i'm considering watching this week on netflix to stream very quickly a united kingdom um it's a very earnest um documented uh you know drama that deals with one of the most uh high-profile interracial couplings um in in uh recent history while we uh have had issues here in america the idea of a of a white um british woman marrying a black tribal king of one of uh england's uh i guess you would call allies in africa was horrific to the populace in the 50s and these folks um you know went ahead and said screw you we're living our lives and it's actually pretty well done pretty well done good chance too uh david uh uh okonado i don't know what's his name uh oh oh yellow and david oh yellow and um and uh the girl rosamund pike who was uh in a pierce Brosnan bond film and is it don't ruin it for me but is it pro interracial marriage or anti is the message anti interracial marriage or pro no the the message is hey what people live their lives you know you can't legislate love you know it's a it's a pretty uh you know pretty inspiring film on some levels well i'm gonna put that on a double bill with loving uh that would be appropriate it's odd that the two came out around the same time and they are sort of uh twins in a way i think loving is a slightly better and more moving film but the story behind uh and you know uh the uh the united kingdom movie is one worth uh learning about well i'm gonna watch both of those films in black and white and then i'm gonna kill myself for making stupid jokes like that land of mine looks interesting have you seen that it is one of my favorite films of the past year or so it is a an historical uh drama you know it's you can only hope uh that people have learned the lessons uh that war teaches us because this is one of those situations where um you know you it's almost unbelievable the cruelty and you know the craving for revenge uh that seems to be inherent in a lot of uh you know these situations that were that we confront um you know it's this is a very powerful film and uh it's about forgiveness it's about revenge it's about a lot of things and you know the basic premise right at the end of world war q there were unexploded minds that were lining i believe the danish coast is that right maybe and they were put in place by the nazis and so in order to get them removed uh what what they did was they brought in german prisoners of war and said okay boys you're going to clean up the mess that your fellows left like it or not and uh man oh man it's some powerful stuff as well i can tell you i was uh you know everybody in the cast is is spot on uh it's it's it's a very very good film and uh you know it's inspired by actual events um and you know the danish didn't really know what to do there were two million landmines that the german army planted on the coast there so they have to have these kids dig them up and they're mostly young uh p o w's dig up the mines with their bare hands so it's it's brutal very disturbing very provocative beautifully acted and um you know again a story um that should be told that people should know about war is monstrous and hey these guys didn't apparently care about the geneva convention hey boys you're gonna dig up mines well america still will not be a signatory to the worldwide ban on mines we still yeah believe in planting landmines that was one of princess diana's causes and finally the sense of an ending the sense of an ending hmm trying to uh recollect that i believe i saw it and i think it's probably worth watching okay and um so leave it at that if you will um i will leave it at that it's probably the best way to look at it yeah and finally your beloved san francisco giants they're in the tank i think they may be sellers instead of buyers around the all star break um it's not a pleasant situation for a giant span to see them uh 10 12 games under 500 i'm far more concerned with the golden state warriors uh somehow eliminating the uh the evil empire from cleveland and they're uh and they're by a leader will bron james i've had enough of that guy let me tell you um so uh yeah how the meds doing how how the meds and yankees doing the meds are not doing that great they're still within striking distance of um of the leader role in their division the yankees are winning the american league east right now um and frankly i'm not a big fan of your team but if i had to say uh or choose between the two um i'm more of a med supporter but that may only be because the meds logo uh is an orange ny stolen from the original new york giants ball caps and so i have a little san francisco new york giants connections of the meds and the dodgers before you go hate them can't stand them they're my arch enemies uh they are flirting with the top of the national league west at the moment and uh i think maybe a game out a game or two and i can only hope that they go down like the dogs they are i'd rather have you know my whole philosophy in terms of the national league west is abd anybody but dodgers and certainly i would prefer the giants to somehow rally from all these games under 500 but they've been beset by injuries and you know again i can only crow about three world championships over the past six seven eight years so yeah that's unheard of the giant student i should be satisfied with that but you know i would not be happy if the dodgers won the division well before you go i'll tell you a story about one of my one of my sons called me his freshman year in college and said oh man i got a taste of what it's like to be you dad i said really he said yeah there was a lecture hall filled with 300 students and the professor was a san francisco giants fan and he started the lecture by saying well it looks like the san francisco giants uh are going to the world series isn't that great and everybody applauds and he says to my son i notice uh you weren't applauding and my sons he says my son says yeah i'm a dodgers fan and everybody starts booing my son right yeah and my son says boo all you want we put that guy in a coma remember that wow wow i did i have that guy is brian stow and i don't know whether the people that beat him are still in the clink or not but they certainly deserve to be his life is destroyed essentially oh is it really yeah yeah but how badly did they beat him they beat him into a coma that he stayed in for a number of months is he okay now he will never be okay uh these good constant rehab uh constant care um you know uh it's it's a tragedy a real tragedy well i'm gonna have to yell at my son i didn't know that because yeah nothing funny there no i know and he said everybody booed me and i finally he goes i finally figured out how you feel all the time and i laughed really hard but i didn't know that the guy was that messed up so that was inappropriate i'm sorry i apologize incidentally i recall the sense of an ending and it's a little drive it's one of those british character studies that they do so well it's got a great cast so you may want to look into it but you know seriously land of minds the movie of the ones you mentioned that i would say seek out on netflix i did the porno version of a sense of an ending really was it something about the tip of a penis come on please oh sorry it was a gay porno film it was called the scent of an ending a little subtler than what i said yeah i will grant you will grant you that but still come on come on speaking of endings michael snider is our resident film critic fantastic job we'll talk to you next week sure that's our show thank you for listening don't forget to friend me on facebook follow me on twitter hey do me a favor give us a good review on itunes it helps subscribe to us on itunes subscribe to us on stitcher i think we're doing google play and we have a youtube channel if you want to listen to this show on youtube no video just audio if you want to listen to the show on youtube go to youtube and type in david feldman show and all these episodes are now on youtube along with individual interviews and conversations i've isolated those and they're available on youtube and also at the david feldman show website you can listen to the entire show or you can listen to the individual interviews and conversations over david feldman show dot com while you're over at david feldman show dot com why not hit the go premium button and for 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