 I'm olive soap your beauty hope and bluster cream shampoo for soft blamorous green girl hair bring you our miss brooks starring Eve Arden our miss Brooks teaches English at Madison High School She's very fond of her pupils and they're very fond of her She's also very fond of biology teacher Philip Boynton and he's very fond of his frogs and guinea pigs This absorption in his laboratory is largely due to mr. Boynton's natural shyness Well, that is to say that he's shy in the word of reality But in the dreams of our miss Brooks Philip Boynton is every bit as ardent and attentive as any woman could desire Let's listen. Oh my darling It's so lovely so desirable. I feel I could fly on the wings of our love Won't you join me Constance on a flight to paradise? Contact I Must pause for a moment my darling. You know why the station identification? I Want to look at you again before I kiss you if you notice anything strange in my eyes dearest It's stardust. Well sweep it under your lids and let's get going I isn't it wonderful County just you and I alone in our dream house Yes, it is Philip and if anyone comes calling will refuse to answer the doorbell Sorry wrong number Oh, okay alarm clock. Oh You win I could have slept a few more minutes that dream I'd have gotten the Academy Award Good morning, Mrs. Davis, I've brought you a little breakfast tray. Hope you like the surprise recipe on it another surprise recipe I'm still trying to get used to the last one Why Chris boiled in breadcrumbs This is a famous Alaskan dish want to know what it consists of no what it's very simple You just take a pound of frozen whale meat for it out rolling the patties and fry in deep seal fat What do you call this Eskimo's delight? Yes, of course not everyone can enjoy them at first eating how do you stand on this? We'll meet Connie. I really don't know Mrs. Davis. I've never stood on any It was nice of you to bring a tray into my room Mrs. Davis But I'd rather have breakfast out here in the dinette with you Oh, thank you Connie, but you haven't had a thing but a glass of milk. I know you can't fry that That is I didn't feel very hungry. Oh, that's too bad today of all days What's so special about today? Don't you know? Let's see. Oh Certainly yesterday was payday. So today must be rent day. What do I owe you Mrs. Davis? I'm not worried about the rent Connie although I could use a small loan How much meal of $5 would do nicely. It's for a donation. I promise the ailing news boy's son All right, Mrs. Davis. I can let you have $5. You're sure you won't miss it No, I won't miss it the people I owe the payment on my car might miss it, but I'll take care of that later I've had my eye on a bag in Justin's department store And I've decided to throw caution to the winds and buy it this afternoon the one you told me about green alligator skin That's the one of course I'll have to postpone a lot of my time payments the car my coat the watch I bought for mr. Boyden, but it's worth it Wait, do you see that bag? Mrs. Davis, but what about your creditors? What do you tell them? I'll write them all polite letters letters. What do you say? Oh, I'll think of something I'm an English teacher. Ain't I I mean Aren't I am I not You certainly must have your heart set on that day. Oh, I have do you think mr. Boyden will like it He likes frogs and lizards and things Then this alligator bag ought to be right up his alley lucky alligator bag to be up an alley with mr. Boyden Oh, that must be Walter Denham. He's giving me a lift to school. I'll be there in a minute Is your car in the repair shop again Connie? Yes, the garage says they just have to get one more part for the car before I can Drive it again. What part is that a motor? Thanks, mr. Brooks. I just came in to tell you to be sure and bring a coat with you this morning It's cold in the school teachers heart out. I mean some school teachers hearts, mr. Brooks You're a warm one Walter you can butter me up on the way to school. I'll go get a coat. I'll just be a few minutes Oh water, I'm glad you came in. We've got to make arrangements for the surprise party. Does she know it's her birthday? No, just like last year. She's forgotten about it completely. Well, then the party will go over that much bigger Did you find out what she wants? Yes? I did water. It's a green bag in Justin's, but she's threatened to buy it for herself That's no good. I know so I thought up this scheme if we all borrow some money from her She won't be able to buy it Then we can give it to her for a present I'll call the conglance and tell them to be sure and borrow something from this Brooks when she gets to school Good. She's so soft hearted. She'll never turn anybody down as long as there's a hard luck story with it I'll put the bite on her and I mean I'll borrow something on our way to school Here she comes. I'll go back into the kitchen. I don't want her to think we've been conspiring. Okay, Mrs. Davis That wasn't such a long wait was it Walder? Oh, not at all, Miss Brooks. That's a nice coat. When did you buy that? Within the next 18 months Let's hurry Walder. I couldn't touch a morsel of Mrs. Davis's breakfast. I'd like to get a bite on our way. Don't worry. You will Our Miss Brooks will continue in just a moment But first here is Vern Smith with an important announcement. Palm Olive soap is giving away prizes worth $67,000 a grand prize of $25,000 in one lump sum or $100 a month for life and that's not all there are over 2000 prizes in palm olive's big pressure chest contest Ford sedans Westinghouse laundromats from silver Fox scarves toast master toasters and it's easy to enter complete the last line of this jingle A fresher rider looking skin is something I would like to win I'll get palm olive soap today Right your last line on a plain sheet of paper or use an official entry blank giving complete rules obtainable at your dealers Include your own and dealers name and address and mail with the big word palm olive from the front of the wrapper of one regular and One bath size cake of palm olive soap to palm olive box 92 New York 8, New York now. Here's the jingle once more a fresher Brighter looking skin is something I would like to win. I'll get palm olive soap today Mail your entry to palm olive box 92, New York 8, New York get palm olive soap for a lovelier complexion Remember doctors prove palm olive's beauty results Just had a tune-up job done in the Karmus Brooks friends pretty smooth it doesn't it. Yes, it does walder What kind of a car was this is this a 1938 Hudson hmm certainly held together for the past 10 years So of you miss Brooks Not I'm comparing you with a car or anything, but well you're still so youthful Nature's treated you extremely well Why you haven't even got any crow's feet nature probably knows I can't afford shoes for them Don't like to keep bothering you with my personal problems miss Brooks, but could I once more? Could you once more what walder father you with a personal problem? It's about a financial matter. What kind of a financial matter alone Are you asking me or telling me? I'm telling you. I mean I'm telling you. I'm broke. Really? How long have you been a school teacher? No, I'm serious. I've just got to get some money somewhere. It isn't like it was for myself I wouldn't even ask if it was for myself. Who is it for? It's for a friend of mine He's a he's an ice man and his horse fell down the other day and he's laid up in the barn now And my friend hasn't been able to sell any ice. Oh, that's too bad walder He doesn't know when the horse will be on his feet again, and he's just had a baby the horse. No the ice man Well, that's a switch his wife And they haven't got enough money to buy milk to feed it. I'll let alone the other seven children in the family plus oats Sadness Brooks saddest thing since Camille How much do you want to borrow walder $5 it help a lot? Okay, here you are Thanks, are you sure you won't miss it? No, I won't miss it walder the people who sold me this coat may miss it But I'll take care of that later Thanks again You don't know what this money you'll do for these people and you'll get it back just as soon as my friend's foot heals Your friend's foot I thought it was the horse who fell the horse oh sure But didn't I tell you when the horse fell my friend tried to lift him up and sprained his own ankle? Between his sick horse sprained ankle and having a baby your friend is the busiest ice man I ever knew Well right near school oh Gosh, I got so wound up talking about my poor friend I forgot to stop and let you get some breakfast. Well after that story walter. I'd feel guilty eating anything, but hey I'll have an early lunch in the cafeteria. Okay, miss Brooks. Well here. We are Thanks, walder Say isn't that Harriet Conklin going up the steps? Yeah, that's Harriet. Oh, you better hurry. She's anxious to talk to you How can you tell from the back of her neck? I'm psychic about some things and go ahead miss Brooks. All right walder. See you later Good morning Harriet. Oh good morning, miss Brooks. I'm so glad we bumped into each other before school starts I've been very anxious to talk to you walter is psychic at that among other things What did you want to talk to me about? Well, it's rather embarrassing not that you're hard to talk to or anything, but Golly, I just don't know how to say it now that we're face-to-face. Oh, we'd look pretty silly chatting back-to-back Seems to be the trouble. Well, it's really not my trouble miss Brooks It's just that I've got to get some financial assistance for a friend in need. What friend Harriet? Well, it's a little boy. I know he comes from a very poor family and in order to help his folks He shines shoes after school now. He's got a little dog that helped him get his business started. What did he do put up the money? He used to do tricks and track customers But just the other day fell down and hurt his foot now the poor little dog can't even get downtown anymore Well, I can get him a lift downtown if he doesn't mind riding on a lame horse Well, I don't either but how much do you want to borrow right after he was hurt? They took the little dog to a hospital and the bill there was eight dollars. You must have had a semi-private room Well, here's the eight dollars Harriet. Oh, thank you miss Brooks. You sure you won't miss it No, I won't miss it the people I owe the payment on my watch might miss it, but I'll take care of that later Anyway, I still have enough left to pick up that bag at Justin's this afternoon. Yeah. Oh, I mean what bag a green Alligator job that I've had my eye on for weeks. Oh Well before you go to your room daddy would like you to stop in at his office. Oh, what have I done now? Why should you think you've done something miss Brooks golly? Just because daddy's a principal is no reason for anybody to be afraid of him. No, maybe you're right Harriet Good morning Step into my office a moment miss Brooks. Certainly, mr. Conklin. Yeah at ease Yes, sir. As you know, I was a major in the last war Spent almost four years in charge of the post exchange at Camp fabric, Ohio Stoutfeller Yes, although I've been returned to the arms of my loved ones for over two years now I opened my last box of Hershey's in 46. I Must confess there are aspects of military life, which bear remembering such as the camaraderie esprit de corps Don't you agree miss Brooks? We mon capitaine Now you've been teaching at Madison High for over five years, haven't you? That's right, mr. Conklin And in that time I've had a lot of esprit de corps, but very few raises. I think the last one was I know let's not talk shop miss Brooks. I Have realized that you haven't had a raise in some time, but after all it's a universal complaint these days And one which can't be remedied overnight Meanwhile, you get by very nicely on the money. You earn don't you well speaking frankly. That's the only way to speak miss Brooks Now if you don't mind I'll come to the point I've got to have some financial assistance for a friend of mine in distress another one This poor chap was one of my gi assistance during the war just a corporal, but I recommended him for a war department Citation really yes, you never saw anyone fill a coke machine like this land As for stacking Kleenex boxes Well after the war he got married and started to raise a family That was three years ago, but luck didn't favor this boy. He lost one job after another Things went from bad to worse. You mean he became a teacher No laughing matter miss Brooks. He's just written me that his wife is going to have another baby Therefore in three years There's a set of twins In any event he's desperate. He can't even afford a hospital room for his wife Well, I know where there's a semi private room if she doesn't mind dogs I mean, how much would you like to borrow mr. Conklin? Well, I've asked many of my friends for five or ten dollars I see well, I guess but you're such an old friend miss Brooks. I feel that I can ask you for 15 Before our friendship gets any older. Here's the $15 Oh, thank you miss Brooks You're sure you won't miss it. No, I won't miss it The people I owe a repair bill on my car might miss it, but I'll take care of that later Very well, that'll be all then this missed My excuse me miss Brooks, but may I sit at this table with you the school cafeteria is pretty crowded today Oh sit down mr. Boynton. You'll forgive me if I go ahead with my lunch. Of course. I want to eat this salad while it's still warm There's something I'd like to talk to you about yes, mr. Boynton I've heard from many people how generous and warm hearted you are under your veneer of seeming sophistication Of course, I've always known that your true blue 100 percent human being deep down below the surface Why mr. Boynton you've been peeking at my x-rays So serious I know that I can appeal to you for assistance without fear of embarrassment And I know when you hear my story you'll want to help at two boynton Well, what's your story? Well, I have this friend who's also a biologist from a poor family No, no, his family's very wealthy as a matter of fact, but he's married and has seven children and one on the way Now he's a single child But he's got a bad sickness No, no, he's in the pink of condition. Oh, wait a minute. I know his little puppy broke its leg Oh, he hasn't any puppy, but his great dane just won a blue ribbon wrong again But give that lady a box of red heart and two tickets to next week's flea circus Look mr. Boynton, I'll bet your friend's horse is so lame. He can't even ride him to work My friend drives a Cadillac If you'll just let me finish I'll be as brief as possible You see he's leaving town. He's got about 30 white mice and frogs that he wants to give me Oh, so that's it. They're sick. No, not at all. They're wonderful specimens But they're orphans Please mr. Brooks. What I'm trying to tell you is that I'll need about 20 dollars for the added equipment it'll require to house them. Oh, well, why didn't you say so? Here mr. Boynton, here's 18 dollars. It's all I have left. Let a couple of the mice double up Thank you, miss Brooks. I certainly appreciate this, but are you sure you won't miss it? No, I won't miss it the people I owe the payments on my car watch and coat might miss it But I'll take care of that later. There's only one thing that's not going to be put off mr. Boynton Oh, what's that a green alligator bag? I've got my deep down underneath little warm heart set on my first stop after school will be the nearest bank that lends money Attention quietly now then Harriet it was your idea to have this surprise party for miss Brooks Suppose you outlined the plan. All right, daddy First of all, did we all borrow enough for miss Brooks to keep her from getting that bag she wants? Mrs. Davis and I took five dollars each from her. I nailed her for a good. Uh, that is I appropriated 15 and she loaned me 18 dollars. Good for you, mr. Boynton I'm afraid it's not good enough mr. Counten. She told me at lunch She was going to the bank and borrow the money for the bag. Oh golly, that'll spoil everything I know Why don't we call the store and tell them under no circumstances to sell her that bag tell them we're buying excellent water It's a wonder that that agile mind of yours doesn't function quite so efficaciously in the school room Ash, thanks mr. Conklin Then I'll run down to the store pick up the bag and take it home Now who'll get miss Brooks and bring her over to our house? Oh, I will I'll call for it about five o'clock and bring We're over to your house at six fine now synchronize watches everybody Confidential loan department. This is it Pardon me. I've read your ads, but I'd still like to be assured that any business we transact will be strictly confidential You may be quite certain of that miss What I said we treat all our transactions with the utmost secrecy Well, you can let me in on it Borrow about 35 dollars. Yes, ma'am. What is your occupation, please? I'm a school teacher How long have you been teaching and at what school please five years at Madison High? How do you sound when you've got laryngitis? Very comical name and address down and I'll get you the money. Is that all there is to it? Yes, we don't believe in a lot of red tape. Oh, all you have to do is sign a few papers First here. Yes. Oh here Right. Now this one. There you are. Now here. Mm-hmm. And here again. And this one. Yes Now we'll start on the second page Here and here and here and here and here It's miss miss brooks. I'd like to see an item your department has been featuring in your window display Uh, what item is that miss brooks? It's a green alligator What? A green alligator. I've seen it in your window every day for weeks now Of alcoholics anonymous You don't know what I'm talking about Oh, not at all miss brooks. You know, you don't know what you're talking about, don't you? Or do you? Of course I do. Let's start all over again There's a purse made of green alligator skin that's been in your window It wouldn't have to I've got a job Uh miss h conklin, I believe. Well, couldn't you get one just like it if I h conklin? That's Harriet. Why that little demon Maybe if I get her another bag, she'll trade me the green one Now she wears a lot of green besides she has alligator shoes too Well, I might as well go over to her house and see what I can do. Anyway Mean to eavesdrop on your monologue But uh h conklin won't be home for a while. She said she had a lot of shopping to do And then she's going to get a manicure at antwans. Well, I'll go to her house and wait. Thank you and good day j. Edgar Hoover Conklin is Harriet at home. Why no miss brooks. She's out doing some last-minute shopping for the Miss brooks isn't it terribly early? I mean with the day is getting shorter all the time It seems like about five o'clock. It is five o'clock. May I come in mrs. Conklin? Oh, of course Who's that? Oh, mother. Oh, it's you miss brooks. Hello, mr. Conklin. Martha did Harriet get back without Miss brooks Isn't it a little early? I mean it only seems like five o'clock Five one I'd like to talk to you. Yes. Will you excuse us, please miss brooks surely? I wonder if they've had a confidential loan lately Hello, mrs. Conklin. I got all this stuff funny hats noise makers confetti and streamers Oh, come on in the living room and we'll start decorating the place. But walter look who's here walter. Hi miss brooks Hi walter now. We'll take the streamers and we'll start in this corner of the room and we'll I was just over to mrs. Davis's house, but you say no more say no more boyden coming to Oh, mrs. Conklin walter. Hello, mr. Boyden. Hello, mrs. Brooks as I started to say mr. Conklin I went over to mrs. Davis to pick up miss brooks, but she miss brooks I know i'm terribly early, but I wish I knew for what Hello dear mrs. Davis come in won't you? I got the bag mother and I had a gift for bill. Hello everybody. Hello mrs. Davis harriott Well, there's nothing else we can do now, but wait somebody says miss brooks once more I'm going to change my name to lucy pumpernickel Miss brooks this little gathering is in honor of your birthday my birthday How do you like that? I forgot it again Miss brooks has a token of our esteem and affection. May we present you with this little gift? Go on miss brooks open it the gift is something you've wanted for a long time carly Oh the green alligator bag, so that's why everybody borrowed money from me today That's right. We didn't want you to get it for yourself. Well, this is certainly the nicest present anybody ever bought me with or without my money Oh, we didn't get this with your money miss brooks look inside the purse What? Oh, what's this five ten twenty? It's all here. That's right miss brooks Well, now that we all know it's your birthday Suppose you tell us how old you are Happy birthday to me happy birthday Eve arden as our miss brooks returns in just one moment, but first You can see this come true revealed by a luster cream shampoo You'll see your hair lovelier your wave or curls softer more glamorous easy to do quickly Even in hardest water luster cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragrantly clean easier to manage brilliant with sheen Don't wait tonight use luster cream shampoo Not a soap not a liquid, but a dainty magical cream Discover why it's by far the top favorite cream shampoo Get the big jar one dollar smaller sizes either tubes or jars Tonight you can be a dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss brooks So you see I won't need the 35 dollars I borrowed from you people yesterday here it is fine The interest is practically nothing. Oh, that's nice. May I have a receipt, please? Of course just sign here. Yeah, and here. Yeah, and here. Yes, and here Let's go into another hour miss brooks show brought to you by palm only soap Your beauty hope and luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous dream girl hair Our miss brooks starring eve arden is produced by larry burns written and directed by al Lois with music by wilbur hatch Dentists know what cleans teeth best and over 4 000 dentists say colgate tooth powder with a two minute routine gets teeth sparkling and super clean So to remove dull film and get your teeth shining clean Just brush teeth two minutes morning and night with colgate tooth powder brush inside outside and biting surfaces Always brush away from the gums. See how quickly this gets teeth naturally bright It removes dull film that improper brushing misses and colgate tooth powder also sweetens your breath Try this by colgate tooth powder today For mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs listen to mr. And mrs. North tune in Tuesday evenings over most of these same stations And be with us again next week at the same time for another comedy episode of our miss brooks Bob LeMond speaking for cbs the columbia broadcasting system