 Colgate Dettle Cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous carousel hair bring you Our Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden It's time once again for another comedy episode of Our Miss Brooks written by Al Lewis Well, the football season is just about reaching its peak in most of the nation's high schools But somehow the fever seems to have bypassed Our Miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School Yes, I'm afraid I've always been one of football's more passive fanatics But as faculty advisor to the cheerleading squad and honor foisted upon me some months ago I was invited to a special meeting held in our principal's office during lunch period last Thursday in addition to mr. Conklin those present included his daughter Harriet mr. Philip Boynton our bashful biology teacher Walter Denton the manager of the team and stretch snot grass star quarterback and captain Stretch has always been something of a paradox to me I've never been able to understand how a brain which can retain so many clever football plays Can have such difficulty in spelling a word like cat Be that as it may mr. Conklin wasted no time in telling us why we had been summoned as you all know Tomorrow is the day we place at a high You also know that I consider Jason Brill the principal of that institution my arch rival What you do not know is that Brill has obtained a small bear cub in honor of the clay city cubs Which he intends to trot out between haves We too must be prepared to entertain the spectators with our mascot. It's as simple as that Not quite mr. Conklin our football team has always been known as the madison comets It might be rather difficult to lead a cometh out between haves Oh Let's try to be constructive shall we I intend to change the name of the football team to fit the mascot we select I am open to your suggestions before we make any suggestions daddy Where did mr. Brill get the bear cub you mentioned from the circus harriot You know the one in morse meadow which bogged down on its way to winter quarters Then maybe we could get something from them. Maybe even a tiger Boy the madison tigers. I can just picture it at halftime We lead this ferocious tiger to the clay city bench for mr. Brill is sitting Can't you just see the expression on mr. Brill's face? I'm not going to look down a tiger's throat just for that Oh, I'm afraid a tiger isn't quite original enough dentin. Oh, let's see How about the madison monsters? Yes, we ought to be able to pick up a cheap monster somewhere With you as the team's manager dentin that name is almost ideal That you've given me an idea. It should be an illiterative name Now, how about you snog gas any ideas on the subject? Yes, sir. What does a lit What does a lit what does illiterative mean? Don't you know either That means when words start with the same initial like the clay city cubs or the pittsburgh pirates How about the madison mustangs mr. Conklin? We ought to be able to rent one of those for the game And maybe mr. Boynton could ride him around the stadium at halftime No, not me. No, if you wanted to borrow my pet frog mcdouglas mascot Not a bad idea. Of course, we did have to get a rather tiny saddle No, wait a minute stretch your father runs a pet shop, doesn't he? Yes, he does mr. Boynton. We ain't got no animals over there that would be good for what we want them for right now I don't think Where in the world did you acquire that manner of speech snog gas? Mom and miss brooks is english class Stop boasting stretch or we may both be back in grammar school soon What sort of animals do you have in the shop at the present time? Mostly puppies and birds Say, I got an idea. My dad got four brand new blue jays this morning Please stretch mr. Conklin isn't interested in what your father puts on his corns I don't mean blue jay corn plasters miss brooks. I mean real ones. They're awful pretty and they could No, if they ever flew away my dad had lamb based a living He'd be peeved I know maybe I could bring over my turtle as a mascot the madison mud turtles and that's sort of alliterative A habitat turtle if you got stretch. He's exactly three inches square Now there's a brilliant suggestion How could the crowd in a football stadium possibly see a three inch turtle? We could paint madison and huge red letters on his back This meeting is getting absolutely nowhere as usual the important decisions have to stem from my own creative brain I will come to a decision by the time school ends and delegate one of you to pick up the animal of my choice You may all go to lunch now this miss Aye, aye sir Where are you going to have lunch today miss brooks marty's mall shop? No, mr. Boynton. I'm going to live dangerously and go to the school cafeteria It should be much more inspirational Inspirational yes, I had some stew there the other day, which I'm sure would have made a wonderful mascot Yes, Harriet I have taking into consideration the fact that the board of education makes no financial provision for team mascots I've decided we must get something which won't cost too much money to feed. What did you hit on? a gopher A gopher But daddy if it's good enough for minnesota, it's good enough for us We'll just capture one this evening in our backyard Excuse me Harriet Principal's office. I was good conklin on this end. Hello, I was good This is Martha dear your wife. I know your title. I conferred it on you Now what is it my dear well other distressing news your brother is staying over another day No, no, there have been greater disasters known to man martha. We'll simply replace the bookend But it was admiring them just the other day at tea She said she saw an identical pair in a curio shop right near her house Do you think it would be asking too much to have her pick one up for us? It would be a labor of love for the woman my teachers adore me, you know Dear I I know which bookend was it martha. What design it was good. She'll remember it. All right Then the matter is closed think no more of it my dear. I'll see you in just a little while Oh, by the way martha. I'm rather tired. So when I do come home, I'll take a little nap in the living room Please see that the squealing urchins with which our neighborhood bounds are shooed as far away from our porch as possible Goodbye Now then Harriet fetch miss brooks at once if you please I can't daddy. She's gone home The speed with which they depart is always a revelation to me I'll take this note child Attention miss brooks I want you to purchase at once an elephant bookend of the type you admired so much at our house recently Now take that right over to mr. Oh gosh daddy if you're gonna send me on any errands. I just can't go I've got volleyball practice with the team this minute, but I promised your mother I've got to let me look out in the hall. Maybe somebody's still around Hi Harriet, what can I do for you? You can deliver a note boy. Do you know where miss brooks lives? Yes, sir with mrs. Davis right now take this note right over to her. Will you sure mr. Conklin Where does mrs. Davis live? The address is 295 carol avenue now be sure she gets that message immediately Don't worry about me mr. Conklin when it comes to messages. I'm like the pony express. I always get my man I'll see you later Harriet Pony boy pony boy. Won't you be my pony boy stretch would you come here a moment? Well, hi, mr. Boyden. What can I do for you? Well, you can let me have a piece of paper if you will I'd like to copy down the football schedules on the bulletin board here We're sure mr. Boyden. Here's a piece of this paper. I don't need nothing wrote on it anyhow Thanks a lot. Glad to be of service. See you at the game tomorrow. Okay stretch. Ah just That's funny. There's nothing written on the front, but what's this on the back? It says book end of the type you admired so much at our house recently Oh, well, it can't be very important if stretch had it I don't like to bother you at home like this mr. Brooks But mr. Conklin said it was important that you get this message right away Let's see it stretch. Oh, I took the liberty of reading it on the way over looks like you've been degraded to get our mascot I've been degraded all right Attention, mr. Brooks. I want you to purchase at once an elephant boy What a mascot mr. Conklin sure went whole hog you went whole elephant This must be some kind of joke. I'd better call him up and find out what it's all about Are you sure you got this note directly from mr. Conklin? Sure. He handed it to me in his office. I was walking Quiet stretch. Hello. Be brief. Please wasted words are wasted time. I was good conklin speaking Oh Mr. Conklin, this is mr. Brooks naturally I was trying to take a nap This I might add is the third time in one week. You have jangled me out of my afternoon dose Now what is it you want? I just got your note mr. Conklin about this elephant as I recall mr. Brooks The note was quite simply written I don't expect you to be the greatest english teacher in the world But I do expect you to be able to read a few simple sentences in the language But mr. Conklin, I don't please do as I've asked and let me get some sleep, but mr. Conklin. What kind do you want? You've seen them before mr. Brooks. Just get one How will I pay charge it to me? Which we're going to need some transportation is your jalopy out front. Sure, mr. Brooks. Where are we going? We're going down to the bomb bay branch of gimbals and charge an elephant Starring eve ardent will continue in just a moment, but first Here is verne smith now proof that brushing teeth right after eating with colgate dental cream Help stop tooth decay before it starts continuous research hundreds of case histories Makes this the most conclusive proof and all dentiferous research on tooth decay Eminent dental authorities supervised hundreds of college men and women for over two years One group always brushed their teeth with colgates right after eating the other followed their usual dental care The group using colgate dental cream is directed using colgates exclusively Showed a startling reduction in average number of cavities far less tooth decay The other group developed new cavities at a much higher rate No other dentiferous offers proof of these results modern research indicates decay is caused by mouth acids Which are at their worst after meals or snacks Brushing teeth with colgates as directed helps remove acids before they harm enamel Yes, colgates contains all the necessary ingredients including an exclusive patented ingredient for effective daily dental care So remember always use colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay Thursday afternoon stretches jalopy wouldn't start until it was too late to go to the circus grounds So I made arrangements with mr. Boynton to pick me up the following morning Friday I awoke bright and early and brushed my teeth extra well. I wasn't going to let any elephants tusks outshine mine Then I joined my landlady mrs. Davis in the dinette. Why connie? It's only nine o'clock and this is armistice day There's no school. What are you doing up so early? I'm going on an elephant hunt, mrs. Davis Oh, that's nice dear now. How do you want your toast buttered? What did you say? I said I'm going on an elephant hunt in america I don't want to pray into your personal life connie, but why because mr. Conklin wants one Oh, I see. Well, if you'll just drink your juice now, I'll go in Mr. Conklin wants an elephant For a mascot mrs. Davis, I guess he's trying to outshine Jason brills bear cub Well, that should do it if it's any kind of an elephant at all it should Where are you going to look for the beast connie down at moors meadow? Beck brothers circus got stuck on their way to winter quarters equipment trouble or something Anyway, they might be willing to rent us one of their performing elephants for the big game sounds logical Who's driving you down dear? He is I mean mr. Boynton. I let the door unlock for him. Come in mr. Boynton. I'll get some dishes and set another place for him Hi, mr. Brooks. Walter, what are you doing here stretch told me all about the mascot last night, mr. Brooks I think it's just about the most sensational idea ever even if mr. Conklin did get it Here we are. Oh, hi, mr. Davis. Hello, mr. Boynton. Uh, huh That's me. Walter Denton. Oh, of course it is. I wasn't looking won't you have a snack with us there Oh, sure. I will thanks. Well, what do you think of the new setup mrs. Davis the madison mammoths That's what the team will be called of course mammoth sure because of the elephant mascot You'll remember those prehistoric hairy old elephants. Don't you miss Brooks? Not personally Oh, that must be mr. Boynton now come in. I'll get another cup and saucer for him Hello, mr. Brooks. Hi, Walter. Hello stretch. Hi pal. Pull up a chair. Here we are Morning, mr. Davis. Hello, mr. Boynton One more strike and you're out, mr. Davis It's stretch not grass. Oh, so it is What can I get for you, dear? Would you like an egg? Well, I'm in training mrs. Davis. Oh, oh, I see. I'd like four eggs Oh, and how do you want them stretch with ham and ham and what bacon? And if I could have some milk too, please and bread. What's the sense in renting one? We're raising our own elephant I'll get you boys, but you want me jiffy coffee is right on the buffet. Thanks, mr. Davis Brooks hello boys Sit down mr. Boynton have a cup of coffee while I tell you where I want you to take me this morning Oh, thanks, mr. Brooks. I was rather curious about our destination. Yes Well, we're going to pick up an elephant together. Oh, then we better not spend too much time sitting around and You say an elephant. That's right, mr. B. Isn't it terrific? He's gonna be our mascot. Can we go with you when you get him, mr. Brooks? Absolutely not stretch The people that run the circus won't do any business with us at all if they think this is nothing but the childish scheme it is I mean, mr. Boynton and myself are going alone Well, just a minute, mr. Brooks did mr. Conklin actually say he wanted an elephant to be our mascot? Indubitably irrevocably Yeah This beats everything and I've heard of some pretty strange mascots in my time In fact, when I was coaching at state normal, we had a guinea pig The little fella grew quite attached to me too. He used to curl up in my lap all the time. Oh, but he looked real cute In fact, he did you know most animals will lie down in your lap once they grow attached to you That's fine. Mr. Boynton with a little luck. Maybe our new mascot will grow attached to mr. Conklin Now finish your coffee. We're off to the circus grounds Quite as deserted as an empty circus lot is there mr. Brooks I've always thought any empty lot was pretty deserted This one is rather grim though nothing left but a few broken down animal cages and some rusty equipment Here's the administration commerce Brooks Beck brothers private. Well, that must be the office. Well, as they used to say before television, let's go in Good morning gentlemen. My name's Boynton and this is mr. Brooks. How do you do? Beck is the name Mike Beck Beck is the name Dan Beck You must be the Beck brothers give that man a box of bazooka bubblegum We'll come right to the point gentlemen You see we're teachers at Madison high school and our principal wants us to procure a mascot for our football team Sounds like a nice idea. Very nice idea We furnished a mascot to mr. Brill of play city high just the other day. Nice little bear. It was very nice little bear Thank you little sir echo, but I Course most of our animals as well as the performers and circus personnel have already entrained for winter quarters in florida But you do have some animals still on the grounds, don't you? Well, what kind did you want? We want an elephant an elephant But we uh, we just have one elephant left to some people that seems like a lot Would you be willing to rent it out for a while? Rent it out Well, frankly, we never thought about doing anything like that. No, we never thought of doing anything like that We'd take very good care of the animal very good care of the animal Your season is over and you don't need the elephant to perform today Oh freddy couldn't perform today anyway freddy. Yes. Yes. That's why we kept him behind with us He met with a little accident a few weeks ago We might as well tell him the truth then you see folks freddy backed into the lion's cage and well He sort of had his tail bitten off Oh, that's a shame. Yes. Now we can't make a circle with the other elephants But he's perfectly all right in every other way You take a fine mascot for your team is brook and we wouldn't charge any rental fee at all Well, the price is certainly right, but why are you doing this to save money on the elephant's feed bill? He's a good eater freddy is. I'll bet he eats like a horse But mr. Beck, how do we get freddy into town and when do you want him back? Just walk him in behind your car And we'd like him back next april next april Provided of course that you promise to take good care of him. You see we're leaving tonight Well, we just wanted a mascot for the clay city came wait a minute, mr. Boynham Maybe mr. Conklin would keep him for the rest of the season freddy could be mascot for other things besides football But miss brooks an elephant. Could I use your phone, please? Certainly right here? Thanks. We'll leave it up to mr. Conklin. It was his idea in the first place and hello He said Miss brooks. I presume how did you know mr. Conklin? I was taking my afternoon now Oh, I'm sorry mr. Conklin, but about the elephant didn't you get that elephant yet I'm about to get it right now, sir But well, you'll have to keep this one longer. I promise you miss brooks My wife will be very careful of this one Now I'd like to get back to sleep if you don't mind the kids in this neighborhood have kept me up half the day already Yes, sir. Oh, mr. Conklin before you hang up. Where shall I bring it bring it? Bring it to my house, of course Now goodbye. Goodbye Mr. Beck. Yeah got a hunk of rope Mr. Conklin's house miss brooks. Good. You better tie freddy up to the front porch and I'll go in and tell him We're here better take him over the side so he doesn't tie up traffic. All right, miss brooks. Come on freddy This way freddy on freddy To mandalay where the flying fishes play And the dawn comes up like thunder. Let's have the rest of the concert indoors Sorry, mr. Conklin step into the living room, please. Of course now then miss brooks. Did you bring it? Yes, sir. It's right outside outside Why didn't you bring it in Look, mr. Conklin. I know you've been rather harassed recently But we've got to get a few things settled immediately. First of all, where are you going to keep it? Right next to those books on the piano I'm afraid I oh, hello, miss brook. Hello, mrs. Conklin I was about to tell you dear that I have some disappointing news There's nothing caught in that snare you set by the porch last night. Oh Conklin, I was planning to use that gopher as our mascot this afternoon Gopher you want a gopher for a mascot? What did you think I wanted an elephant? I don't mind me miss brooks. Did you pick up the elephant bookend that we wanted replaced elephant bookend? You received my note yesterday. Didn't you some of it? I mean apparently there was something not quite clear It was perfectly clear miss brooks. Allow me to recall it for you verbatim It said quote attention comma miss brooks dash I want you to purchase at once an elephant bookend of the type you admired so much at our house recently Period unquote Well, oh brother exclamation point Oh, listen to those kids Martha if we don't move out of this neighborhood soon my blood pressure will just please dear calm yourself The children are just playing and I'm going to the window and stop them I won't have them. I mean you mustn't go to the window now, mr. Conklin Somebody might throw something a ball or something but that's shouting and racket. Oh, it isn't really so bad You're just overwrought. Of course, dear in your nervous state you exaggerate. Oh, here it is Moving us to a dead end moment, but first dream Luster cream Tonight yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives k-doom. It's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle aniline Not a soap not a liquid luster cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragrantly clean free of loose dandruff glistening with sheen soft manageable Even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair Tonight yes tonight try luster cream shampoo Dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to A luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss brooks Well, mr. Conklin stormed off to the football game after warning us not to bring freddy near the stadium This left just a cozy little group consisting of freddy myself and a rather haggard looking mr. Boynton Oh, this is terrible. Miss brooks with mr. Conklin refusing to accept any responsibility in this matter We're in something of a predicament. How do you mean, mr. Boynton? We'll just take freddy back to the beck brothers You'll forget miss brooks by now they're on their way to their winter quarters in florida Where in the world is freddy going to sleep tonight? Maybe we could get him a room at the y Please miss brooks be serious. All right, how big is your place? But this this packet derm has to be fed and sheltered calm down mr. Boynton I think I have the solution we'll simply return freddy to his winter quarters But miss brooks hook and afford a train ticket for a creature this size train ticket nothing We'll just point him south and give him a shove an elephant never forgets Next week turn into another arm is brooks show brought to you by luster cream shampoo for soft Glamorous to rustible hair and full gait dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay Our miss brooks starring eve arden is produced by larry burns directed by al lewis with music by wilber hatch Men do you shave with a lather or brushless shave cream palm olive shaving cream comes both ways And whichever way you prefer to shave You'll find that using either palm olive brushless or palm olive lather shaving cream can bring you more comfortable Actually smoother shaves. Here's the proof 2548 men tried the new palm olive way to shave described on the tube and no matter how they had shaved before Three out of every four got more comfortable Actually smoother shaves get palm olive brushless or palm olive lather shaving cream today Did you know that the hotel business now observing national hotel week is the seventh largest industry in america What's more they're constantly working to further add to your convenience and comfort in short complete modernization of your home away from home Remember the hotels are america's hospitality industry Be with us again next week at the same time for another comedy episode of our miss brooks bobleman speaking This is cbs of lumbia broadcasting system