 Here we are recovery Monday episode number 45 Copper wants to be in on it. Hang on. I'm gonna close the door That's better. This way we won't really hear him as much and he will calm down. Anyway, welcome back We'll wait for folks to kind of shuffle in here This is the last chapter that we're doing out of out of this book out of seven percent slower We're at the end of this book today. We're gonna talk a little bit about What lies beyond that and how is learning this stuff useful just in life in general? Should be a pretty short little chapter because it is I just kind of was a way that I used to sort of sum up the book and I'll talk about how you can apply it to the rest of your life So we'll talk about that do some Q&A We'll talk about what to do on recovery Monday after this because I kind of have no idea what to do on recovery Monday after this So I'm gonna put the chat overlay up so that you guys can see each other What everybody is saying just let me know that everything is cool. Hey Jim, what up welcome from Michigan Hello copper. Yeah copper. He needs to be involved. What up Katya from Russia? How's it going? Let me know how you guys you're doing. Let me know where everybody's from Well wait for everybody to sort of file in seems to be the little bit of delay when we start these some platforms are faster than others But that's okay Deluca what up Vegas we got Andrew Deluca in the house haven't seen you in a long time good to see you Hey Ken Kathleen is here back from her I guess back from her trip like traveling around the world or at least to the UK That's around the world. I know Jason what's up? Let's see. Hey Ellen. How's it going? Hello, Netherlands? So we'll take another second or two and then we'll get into this like I said, it's a short little chapter There's nothing special here. Nothing profound. I think it's just really about What lies beyond this book and of course if you do not have this book and you want to go through it? Can you see it? You can find it at seven percent slower calm or on my website Laura what up? Julie how's it going? Yes, I could see your name Julie because you're on YouTube, but up Hans Tracy's here. Milena is here Vienna Welcome UK is here Let's see here Okay, let's get cooking. So what do we have about 31 people? That's cool These all stay by the way on my YouTube channel So if you ever wanted to go back and watch all of the recovery Mondays all the seven percent slower Videos and stuff. They're all on my YouTube channel in a playlist called recovery Monday What a surprise so you can always go back and get those if you really want Hey tomorrow, how's it going good to see you? I in the sky love that name great name GBG is here. What up? By the way, yeah, whatever. Well, we'll do that later. So This chapter is chapter 12. It's the end of the book and it talks about what lies beyond this And again, I just sort of rehashed a little bit about like how I came up with the idea of going seven percent slower And what it really means hello, Romania. Hello, Florida. Welcome everybody And what I say about seven percent slower in this chapter is think of this as an action trigger I'm gonna read a little bit seven percent slower is not so much a method or a philosophy as it is a way to connect you to a Larger method and larger philosophies. I have not built my life upon going seven percent slower But I have certainly incorporated into my life well beyond my anxiety recovery journey So I talked in the chapter a little bit about how I use it when I feel like I hit a wall I slow down a little bit when I start to feel like I only have bitten off more than I can chew I slow down a little bit when I'm confronted with major decisions in my life, which we all are from time to time I've learned to slow down a little bit before I make them as opposed to rushing into things and going into them and sort of a Frantic state or I got to get this done kind of thing When people around me are frantic and running around like crazy and demanding, you know that we rush around and put out A fire I tend to slow down and it helps to bring some direction and clarity to the Situation and that's where I get people who say things to me like this building could be on fire and you just stay like this How is that even possible? Well in a way, that's how When I feel strong emotions like anger and sadness The beauty of learning how to be a little bit more slow and live a little more mindfully and intentionally is I can feel All of those things which I have to because I'm a human being And without getting caught up so much in them like I feel like I experienced my emotions much more Productively since going through the recovery journey and especially incorporating the idea that I can step back slow down a little bit and actually let Whatever it's gonna play out play out. So it's really important I Talk about how we tie this back into the idea of surrender and acceptance and floating and being courageous because really Learning to slow down and being a little bit more intentional and mindful is one way to be able to do that I know everybody always comes back to the idea of I know what I'm supposed to do I have to go forward to have to face my fear But how Drew how am I supposed to do this scary thing? And I contend that starting with the idea that well, maybe I need to slow down a little bit kind of helps with that Yeah, you'll feel things a little bit more when you do that But it also puts a little space between you and that frantic state and it sort of clarifies your thought and it can Keep you connected to why you need to be courageous Because in the moment when the shit is hitting the fan and we're super stressed out and you're panicking or you're really Anxious or you're having intrusive thoughts and you're afraid of them We we somehow lose touch with why we have to do all the stuff that we talk about allow the thoughts Don't react to them. Let them be let the worst come true We talk about all these things and these are really hard things and sometimes in the heat of the moment We lose track of why we're doing that which is really the most important part What takes over is the need to feel better like we want to sue themselves We want to get away from those scary things and we forget why we're not supposed to try and get away from them And I think that when you practice slowing down in your everyday life And you could bring that to the table when the chips are down and when the shit hits the fan It sort of helps remain connected to the why you get out of that frantic state and that little bit of clarity of thought That little bit of air gap between you and the frantic state can help you stay in touch with like oh, that's right I know why I have to do this. I don't want to do this. I don't want to allow the worst to be true I don't want to allow my insomnia fear. I don't want to allow this fear I don't want to allow this thought I don't want to allow the racing heart but I remember now why I'm supposed to do this Which sometimes can help you bring up a little bit of that courage that you think that you don't have so that's part of it too and In a way, does this make you, you know, is this uncomfortable? Yeah, it's definitely uncomfortable Just a touch back on that again I always like to validate that when I tell people to try and slow down and live a little more mindfully and intentionally Yeah, we come in contact greater contact with those uncomfortable Comfortable sensations and thoughts and feelings and all of those things they kind of come and get us and we let them catch us So it is completely uncomfortable That is really true and in chapter 12 of 7% slower I think I even spent a bit of a paragraph Sounding very life-coachy, which you know, I hate to do and talking about like yeah But you know there really truly is and I know the internet is full of cliches and ridiculous platitudes about how growth Happens in the uncomfortable places and get comfortable being uncomfortable man But I might joke about that stuff and pick on it, but there is a measure of truth in that 100% So yeah, this is an uncomfortable process learning to go slower instead of faster when you're afraid and anxious Makes it even more uncomfortable sometimes, but there is value in there. There's gold forging those fires I talked about this all the time those lessons can stay with you Beyond just the heat of the moment when you think you're trying to get through a panic attack or scary thought or a Challenging exposure or whatever the case may be those things stay with you so I'm gonna You know essentially what I think I wrote here is a book that Sort of helps give you a way to just pump the brakes so when you're starting to feel like you're out of control and You're running around like a speed demon and you're just getting into that frantic state and feeding it and feeding it and trying to escape And trying to feel better Instantaneously and losing track of why we do all these scary things and losing track of what the end game is and where you're trying to get in the long term This the all the stuff we talked about for the past 13 weeks or whatever in this book Is about just learning to pump the brakes slow things down a little bit and again allow a little bit of clarity of thought Let the front part of your brain the big part of your brain weigh in a little bit give it a little bit of room to operate and Help you make slightly better decisions in the moment and more importantly to learn the lessons that you're okay even if you do slow down and allow things and Not run away from them. You still wind up. Okay. These are lessons in navigation. These are lessons in strength Hopefully those these give you experiences that stay with you because you begin to understand just how capable you really are Even when maybe much of your life has told you or people in your life have told you that you're not capable Going seven percent slower learning to be a little more mindful a little bit more intentional can help you Get in touch with the fact that well, maybe those people were wrong maybe I actually can do this and So much of this battle whether you're dealing with stress fear anxiety, whatever the Whatever the variant is with panic disorder OCD health anxiety, whatever it happens to be gad So much of it is based on recoveries based on a self-belief and the idea that like oh, I can I can handle this I think I can't but I can and Slowing things down instead of running around like a crazy person can help you get in touch with the fact that like Oh, yeah, I really can do this. Look at that. I can do this So I will sort of wrap up this short lecture We're gonna go less than 10 minutes on the lecture side of this because like I said, it's not a long chapter But here is what I wrote to sort of close the book But I think these are good words. So I'll read them I am confident that the simple act of learning to recognize your rushing habit Understanding what drives it and working to change it can open the door to a wider and deeper progress when it comes to handling anxiety stress and fear and That is pretty much how I ended this book and those of you who have the book We've read the book if it has been helpful to you That's great. That makes me feel great all the kind words anybody has ever said about seven percent slower I really appreciate and there have been many Kind of makes me cringe, but I do appreciate all the positive feedback on the book I'm really happy that it's helped so many people and then it's sort of caught on to the large degrees it has surprisingly evidently Last week was the one-year anniversary of this book going live. I did not even know that my editor had to tell me like Hey was a year ago So yeah, and a year the book is still doing really well It seems to be helping quite a lot of people and I'm pretty proud of it. So that is the end of going through seven percent slower So let's go through some comments questions. I anybody that wants to just add some personal anecdotes Anybody has any ideas of what we should do on recovery Monday going forward because I'm not exactly sure what to turn this into at This point we can kind of go through an anxiety story, which is my story. I Can relate some of that personally. That's one idea you turn this into sort of just a weekly Q&A We can put up a Q&A thread maybe on Instagram or whatever collect questions and do it Looking at different platforms that I might use to do this sort of thing But if anybody has any ideas just throw them out there and I'm willing to listen. So let's go through the Through the comments here and let's see what everybody has to say No, no, no, no, no. RIP Queen. Yes today was the Queen's funeral. I understand Fort Worth, Texas is here Romania, Florida Wales is here Slip joint guy another great name you guys have so one of the things that I love the most about this is Cool screen names. I don't know why I get a kick some of it Sometimes that have just seen who follows me on Instagram because some of the most creative screen names. You guys are just really great. I love it So slip joint guy says listen to your audiobook twice and it has helped me so much for putting into practice excellent You're welcome slip joint guy. I'm gonna put this up on the screen because it brings up an important point And that is here somebody who has listened to the big book the anxious truth It's over on my bookshelf. You guys know it just go to the anxious truth comm So if you're new or watching this for the first time go to my website the anxious truth comm all the books are there Everything is there. You can find it all So talking about listening to the book twice, which is really great, but then putting it into practice So dude, this is my favorite part of that then putting it into practice It's so important to Remember that these things that we do whether they're live streams or social media posts Instagram posts Discussion to the Facebook group audio books, whatever it happens to be like those are great And I I hope and I make them as tools for sure But in the end recovery comes into doing and this too like I have now spent 13 weeks You know, we do these for almost an hour each So I don't know we've done about 10 hours on 7% slower And I've talked about what to do and how to practice and what it means and what the benefits are But in the end just reading about it isn't enough with any of this stuff You have to actually start to do it So whether it's working toward recovery in terms of doing your exposure work Turning toward your fear taking a new direction toward anxiety fear and stress practicing slowing down Whatever it happens to be practicing your skills We have to do the things because we don't do the things and we just listen and read or Post in the Facebook and hope that something changes as a result. We wind up really frustrated So thank you my friend for pointing out that you enjoyed the book, which is great and that you're doing things I appreciate that in a big way. Joyce is here. Hey Joyce good to see you I'll put this on the screen Kathleen is saying I am having atresia thoughts about not panicking about things anymore I'm having to slow down and tell myself. It's okay when I'm not having as much fear This is good comment. Thank you so much for sharing Kathleen has just come back from a trip to Europe I believe another huge milestone in fact last week's podcast episode if you have not listened to it episode 223 or 224. I'm not sure Features Katie Hawks talking about her recovery journey. It's really great episode. So Katie Thank you for bringing that up. A lot of times people do start to get anxious about not being anxious We all get there. It's sort of a natural part of the recovery process. Andy Lyons is here. Hello Andy Licious So that's a natural part of the recovery process for many many people Remember that anxiety is a protective thing It's supposed to be keeping you safe like the threat response is there Just to keep you safe your brain is thinking it's doing you a favor and so it is learned to be on guard on guard on guard all the time and When there's nothing to be on guard about That response tends to get really even amplified a little bit like oh something must be wrong here Like this is not right. There is it there has to be a danger here somewhere So that's really common and it's okay You're just gonna have to do exactly what you said, which is oh I'm anxious about not being anxious It's essentially like oh, I'm feeling a thing again. I'm thinking a thing again So being anxious about not being anxious is really no different You know than being anxious because you have to drive on the highway That's sort of stuff. So it's super common. It's not crazy people think like this is insane I don't understand like I don't feel anxious anymore and instead of being happy about it I'm anxious about it. That's okay. That's really normal. Most of us go through that I went through that from time to time Just to throw it out there one of the most common states and I experienced this That people talk about where they don't feel anxious all the time and they're not constantly in like anxiety And I got to calm myself down mode. You're not constantly feeling like you're on fire, right mentally and anxiety-wise Is a feeling of emptiness It's weird because when anxiety sort of starts to go away Which it will over time first we learn not to be afraid of it and Katie really laid it out very well in the podcast Episode we did last week together first we learned to not be afraid of it And then it begins to lessen and go away and when it does there's a giant hole left behind Like when it was a full-time job like my full-time job was being an anxious person So if I go back, you know 14 years ago, whatever it was like that was my job My job was being anxious from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep with little breaks in between when I somehow got distracted accidentally and wasn't in my own head But once I didn't have that full-time job anymore. It would feel Disturbing to feel so empty. It was like an empty feeling like there's nothing there like there's no emotion there What is that? I don't understand shouldn't I be feeling something so that flat feeling was a little bit alarming It was empty, but that's okay. Just yeah, that's okay. So Kate. I'll put this up in the screen Let me throw that up here. I just saw it up here, but Katie just said like yes, I drove around all day Feeling empty, right? There it is put up in the screen So drove around all day feel it with no feelings and I was spooked. It's okay The default state for a human being is to not be aware of how you feel believe it or not So most people think like well since I'm if I'm anxious all the time That would be a air quotes negative state and when I'm not anxious all the time It will be replaced by an air quotes positive state So I will always feel something and that's something now will be happiness. It will be joy It will be excitement. It will be pleasure. It will be anticipation. It will be I don't know what it'll be But that's not true. Like most of the time we go through our days and we are not actually In touch with how we feel now That's another Conversation with another group of people. I'm sure they would not like that I say that But that is a default state for a human being like we we are blissfully unaware of our emotional and mental state most of the time Because we don't have to be imagine living your life Continually reexamining how you feel all the time. Guess what? Don't have to imagine it because you've probably been living that way or are living that way right now So we don't need to be continually scanning and focused on how we feel and evaluating that so when you don't have to do that anymore Oh my god, it feels like a big empty hole which feels foreign and disturbing and like Rattling and it's but it's okay. You'll get used to that You'll get used to that you'll be get used to being in a contented state again Where you're focused on what's going on around you rather than what's going on inside of you still Hey me is here Barber did drew that's what me it calls me by default and it makes me laugh every single time a couple years later Um, so let's go through a little bit more here. Uh slowing down has been the single best tool for me. Thanks gbg appreciated that Um, oh, this is good too. Hans your comments are always on fire here. I appreciate you coming in on these Doing nothing while feel full is the hardest part. It's like wanting to remember a name Oh, I love this analogy the more you try the less you succeed That's true. Also the um You know, and this is funny. I guess if you're if you're around my age, I don't know. Maybe you guys that are younger than me too, I don't know It's like quicksand right the more which by the way has anybody ever I know it's an old joke But has anybody ever actually counted quicksand like I was led to believe it would be a much bigger problem And it actually turned out to be in my life because I've never seen quicksand But quicksand is always shown as like the more you struggle the more it sucks you in and that is the same thing with this The more you try really hard to be okay the less okay you are It's it's not cool. It's frustrating and it's really paradoxical. So thank you. Hans. I appreciate that comment. It's really good Um, let's see what else we got Oh, we really got to do this They were really at some point I have like the very beginning stages of reaching out to the people who own the rights to this movie They may never answer me. I may never get anywhere But if they will allow me I will do a live stream once of what about bob We can all get together watch it together and talk about it because it is It is one if you have not seen what about bob. I urge you to go see it. It is a great movie very funny Um bill marie and richard dryfus if you are dealing with an anxiety disorder You absolutely cannot miss what about bob. So one day if I can I will certainly do what about bob on a live stream And we'll talk about it. Hey carol. What up? Um, let's see ellen asks, uh, what you did with josh on monday Yeah, we're we've been talking about that a little bit everybody's super busy There's all kinds of projects everybody's got projects going on. I got school happening. There's books being written. There's a lot, right? So, uh I can speak for them what the hell they're my friends So I know josh and kim and I have been talking for a long time about trying to get another thing together in some way shape Reform don't know what that's going to look like or when we're going to do it But i'm sure every once in a while we will pop up in each other's streams here and there But we'll see maybe we'll come up with something to do together on a regular basis We'll try it's hard to get everybody together because of schedules um Nikki from the uk slowing down as a game changer. This is good. Start it up here. Sorry. You can't see your name because It's facebook group, you know restream But nothing changes unless we make actual changes that is 100 true and by the way It's okay if you're trying to make changes and not doing so great Like you're going to stink at all of this in the beginning. I know I say it all time and time again I'll say it again now Um, you'll suck at all of this in the beginning. I sucked at all of it. It was terrible at all of it I tried to meditate. I tried to focus. I tried to not pay attention to you know I tried to do all those things and I was not good at it to practice again and again and again And it's completely like totally okay for you to not be good at this And please for the love of all things holy be patient with yourself I understand that if you're watching me right now, you might be in a state Where you just really want to feel better right now and I get that I really get it But you have to be super careful about like I've been at this for three days and it's it's not any different Like that's not fair to you like might be you've probably been living like this for weeks months possibly years So this is not a thing that changes in the matter of three days or six days or two weeks It just doesn't um, you start to get little glimpses after a little while But it's not like these are not mitigation tools. They're not eradication tools I'm not teaching you to like okay if you just float and accept and surrender then you'll feel better next week That's I wish it was but it doesn't work that way So just be nice to yourself be patient. You're you're doing a new thing and a really hard thing and it takes time to make that change So let's see here. I in the sky again gotta gotta acknowledge the screen name. Um When we slow down we learned to handle the scary things that are routed through elizabeth Those scary things start to disappear. Well, I I would say that's A little bit of more thinking than you have to have about this particular thing It's not that things are getting rerouted through your prefrontal cortex. Yeah, we could talk about all of that stuff That's true. But generally speaking stuff is processed from the bottom up in your brain Right. So first threat detection if it passes threat detection, then yes stuff gets to the higher level if it doesn't pass very oversimplified Very oversimplified don't at me on this But uh, if it doesn't pass threat detection people in a distorted state of anxiety nothing passes threat detection because everything is a threat Are that higher part of our brain the logical part of our brain never gets to weigh in right? But yes, what starts to happen is those those experiences get filtered through They don't get stopped in threat in the threat detection department They pass on through and the the bigger part the more advanced part of your brain prefront pfc if you will Uh gets to weigh in a little bit more. So yes, that's true But that takes time that takes time for that threat detection department to say ah, we're good We can pass this through. It's all good. Let the guys upstairs. Take care of this Takes a while So let's see here. There's andy lions popping in from twitch. I know the twitch viewer. Thank you so much I'm always happy to have people from twitch. I don't see becky here. So andy. You might be my lone representative on twitch today I always get like two people from twitch This is true. This is true Don't worry. You'll get anxious again soon enough. What and what's so funny about that is I can attest to this That's a hundred percent true. Um, when I was having those times when like Why am I not anxious? I felt empty. It felt really it felt icky. It was just The word that comes to mind now that I think about it is it felt inhuman to feel nothing Like it was really disturbing. Like this is not right. I should I feel empty I feel inhuman because I have no emotions right now. That wasn't what it is at all And guess what? Yes anxiety will come back when it needs to but in a healthy way and you'll be able to feel all the things So that's okay. But good point. You'll feel anxious again soon enough. Don't rush it Um, let's see here. This takes time. Very good Emotional numbness. No, we can't have that um Okay, I'll throw this up on might as well Do you ever feel symptom based on anxiety out of the blue and you're otherwise not stressed bother to otherwise anxious? Do you know what these happen? Well in the thing that we're talking about remember that there's two different kinds of anxiety that we sort of care about There's regular anxiety Not that it's regular, but it is like the anxiety that all human beings Experienced from time to time which is baked into human existence. It's just the way it's going to be And that anxiety is generally Generated externally. There's a stressor going on There's something that you are aware of you had a fight with your partner or lost your job or something If your dog is sick like okay, and you might experience stress and it might feel like anxiety And in that situation, you know why it happened but internally generated anxiety Which is every that's the stuff that I'm always writing and talking about that's why I'm on these live streams Is generated you are anxious about being anxious your anxious state itself becomes the problem so a good Uh indicator of that is when you ask that question Oh, I'm anxious, but I don't know why and this is a problem. I have to try to figure it out Well, no, you don't because in the end the lesson that we're all trying to learn here is I don't have to figure it out I don't have to try to find the trigger if I can't find the trigger Then there's a really good chance especially if this is a recurring thing that the anxiety itself is now the trigger I do not know nor will I maybe ever know what caused my first panic attack But I know what caused the second one the first one Right, so I know that sounds oversimplified, but that is 100 true I was a textbook example of how a panic attack becomes panic disorder. Do not know what caused the first one Everything was going great in my life. I've got a 4.0 that semester. I was home spring break and like Everything was great. I got a girlfriend had everything was going great Like I couldn't ask for more as I guess a 19 year old dude at the time And I had a panic attack So I don't know what caused that first one, but the second one was 100 caused by the first one So if you are questioning your Your state all the time trying to figure out and get rid of it because you you are afraid of feeling that way or you have determined It is not acceptable to feel this way We talked to them that's internally generated and who cares what caused it it caused itself. Does that make sense? so Sometimes my buddy wants to do everything fast, but learning to slow down has helped even oh, okay This is pretty cool. This is pretty cool. Laura. Thank you for this Even with exercise, which is funny because you think at face value you would say well exercise We're trying to like get our heartbeat up and you want to sweat you want to move fast But even exercise can be a frantic affair and we're literally trying to not Not be in a frantic state I get this because when I first went back to the gym in the middle of my recovery and I started lifting heavy again Oh, that was rough. Thank you for this says me so When you uh, that was rough because it put me right up like all of those really scary sensations You know, I was exercising but in a light kind of way and I'm like, okay. I gotta get back in the gym and You know anybody who's ever lifted heavy, you know that it's not like distance running. It's not endurance It's anaerobic stress. So like it is 65 seconds of really heavy heavy activity with a loaded barbell on your back or whatever it is and then at the end it's You are gasping for air and your heart is pounding So it doesn't stay that way because you're resting between sets But that was so uncomfortable and I would find myself rushing through my workout Trying to get the hell out of there faster So I get that exercise became a frantic a frantic affair title of your first anxiety novel For those of you are brooklyn 9 9 fans. It would be a frantic affair title of your sex tape So anybody watches brooklyn 9 9 gets that joke. They make me laugh every time All right, so this is good here because six planets are in retrograde and you just slow the f down plus Anxiety, you know what I have for you. Mia. I have I have this and I know you're gonna hate it Is he gonna focus? Come on. Come on camera I gotta do it. Um, I can't get my camera to focus, but you know what it is the lizard coin f that lizard, right? I spawned to either butt head for my wife I don't know what's going on here, but all right, let's keep going hardest thing in my worry But okay, let's see one of the hardest things in my worry But death along those lines being okay with not being okay with it But not letting it send my anxiety through the roof. I'll throw this up on the screen Where are we 27 minutes? I kind of like these sort of casual q&a things. Maybe that's working Um, let's see. Yeah after that lizard coin Mia says One of the hardest things is my worry about death as along those lines being okay with not being okay with it But not letting it send my anxiety through the roof, you know, that's that unanswerable question thing I had that in a big way and what I discovered and I think I did an instagram video on this I think I know I've done a podcast episode on it existential anxiety in the fear of death Is that when I get better at being anxious as crazy as it sounds and not trying to always solve my anxious states and solve my scary thoughts Somehow the death anxiety sort of went away. Look, I'm not looking forward to the day But I was able to not get so caught up with it in a disordered kind of way so Now I actually talk about it and think about existence and I don't know play with those kind of crazy Philosophical questions and existential questions that there are no answers for but I couldn't even hear the word dead And there was it wasn't special death anxiety It was just that I was so glued to the thoughts that I would have in those days that there was no difference between the I know you're going to say this is crazy, but there was no difference between the way I was thinking about death and the way I was thinking about Um, but the orange juice might be poisoned It was the same exact thing Even though you're going to say like but the orange juice wasn't poisoned, but we are all going to die That's true But I was so glued in a in a kind of unhealthy twisted way to that thought And as I just got better at being anxious and and moving through those kind of scary thoughts Um, that that went away And it wasn't special death anxiety. It wasn't It wasn't existential anxiety. It wasn't attachment anxiety. It wasn't any of those things It was just I wasn't a bad habit of following all of my sticky thoughts Um, yeah, I get that Jason. I totally get that. I can talk about death now I couldn't even hear the word for about a year. I wouldn't let I've you guys have heard me say this before I think I wrote it in in my first book wouldn't let my kids they were little at the time They were four and six when I started really getting my shit together and going through the recovery thing I wouldn't let them say the word like I will never forget my one of my daughters Trying to describe something and she knew she started to say it and then she caught herself because she knew that I couldn't hear it and she called it not alive Not my proudest moment What my worst Tuesday night, you know, so I'm talking about um I I see that Kathleen and Mia are bonding over the retrograde thing after this retrograde crap Uh, Heather says I am about to mean up my anxiety meds that have been out for years. Okay, uh priest pray. I'm so scared It's okay to be scared. Heather totally normal. Um I will tell you this. I know I don't talk about the stuff anybody wants to hear The things about meds and withdrawal and stuff. I did three podcast episodes If you search go to the anxious truth.com and search for ssri You will find one of them and you'll see it's the there's three episodes in a row where I talked about my experience with antidepressants, uh medication What was good about them? What was bad about them and what my withdrawal experience was? That's all I'm going to say about that. We're not going to talk about it But I can tell you this that it's important to understand. Um, Yeah throw away. It's important to really understand Heather that it's not guaranteed that you will have horrible horrible withdrawal It's not in any way guaranteed and as much as I hated the pharmaceutical companies for a little while for putting me through what I went through I had to understand that it is not guaranteed That every human being goes through some sort of horrible withdrawal not not true. So Uh, keep that in mind, but also know that you can get through that. Okay. Um, oh, this is this is good Is a good comment from ellen here. Uh, I want to implement everything all at once That's true So sometimes we get into the speed habit on the micro level like I'm panicking now And so I'm doing it doing everything really fast right in this minute second to second Sometimes we get into speed demon mode because we just want to feel better Now right now and so you read books like the books I write or you listen to podcasts like mine I'm not the only one there are other people that sound like me too Uh, you watch videos whatever you're cut you're talking about at this in a facebook group You're watching live streams and oh that sounds right. Oh my god. There's a light bulb moment Oh my god, he's so right about that and you want to try and recover now Like I want to do everything right now So I get that but you can't you can't take the lessons file them away Use them organically as they come up as you go down the line All right, so um, I totally get that though Ellen, that's a thing that you want to I want to put everything in play right now everything I learned I want to recover right now you can't um Let's see here Okay, throw this up here Kathleen another good comment And again listen to the the podcast episode I did with Kathleen She talked about all of this stuff I felt so bad in the beginning that I thought that I was going to be the one How many people here by show of hands? Um, how many people by show of hands or whatever in the comments? Have thought that you must be the one for whom this cannot work because you're in a special situation I I bet there's 53 people here according to restream I bet at least 20 of you have thought that more than one time more than one time, um The videos about the beds their podcast episodes just there you go Just go to the anxious truth and search for ssri the anxious truth.com. There's a search tool search for ssri You'll find one of them And you'll see that the podcast episodes on either side or the ones right before that Are about that so it's three podcast episodes. You're free to listen to them as often as you want They're also on my youtube channel so you can all the podcast episodes are on my youtube channel Thank you be appreciated the link. Um, yeah, see look at all the people who are chiming in with like I thought that I was the one for sure was I was the one like I wasn't going to get better I was special. I was worse than everybody else Or people and I don't take this personally ever like the first time people you hear somebody like me or you hear somebody maybe like josh Fletcher or Jenna overbaugh or kim quinlan and you hear us talking about these things and think You are clearly insane dude from new york with the beard. You have no idea what this feels like But but it's so scary for me I've had people comment in my youtube video saying oh drew never had panic disorder. He doesn't really know He's a scammer. He's a liar. I've heard all of that stuff. So I get that it's super common to say This doesn't apply to me because mine is worse So I get that it's okay. It's okay to think that um I see a comment in spanish I'm sorry. I don't speak spanish if anybody wants to translate that that would be great Um, I don't know what you're asking. Thank you for asking, but I sorry. I can't read it because I my spanish is pretty much not existent I'm sorry about that. Um What else we have here a couple more minutes and then we'll end it How did you deal with feeling okay? I'll throw this out the screen to you How did you deal with feelings that your life feels restrictive when anxiety whatever holds you back from doing so much You're not going to like this answer But the way I dealt with it was by doing the things that I felt sure that I couldn't do because I was agoraphobic So the only way to deal with the restrictions of agoraphobia is to actively work on not being agoraphobic anymore Like I know that sounds like a Shitty answer But it's true like the only way to deal with that is to stop being agoraphobic and the same applies to like The restrictions on the rest of your life because oh well, I can't do that because I panic Well, then you're gonna have to work on the recovery that we're always talking about here Go do the things that make you panic so that you can learn that it's okay to panic You're okay You can get through it and then things start to change So the only way to deal with it effectively is to try your best to not be agoraphobic You got to actually actively work on recovery. So that that's how you deal with it Um, yeah at first I felt like a failure like this sucks. I'm restricted. My life is tiny and getting tinier I don't go anywhere. I don't do anything. I'm damaging my business like I'm I'm not participating in my family That sucked the only way that I had to deal with it was to get better So that's my advice there Um, did it take a while to finally accept that your anxiety wasn't unique two months in I'm still feeling like mine is worse I am not a good I'm probably not a good judge of that because to be completely honest with you I don't know if you're asking me or anybody else in the comments and you guys Oh, good. I see people are answering. This is great. I love when you guys talk to each other and help each other out Makes me smile I'm not a good judge of that because I never thought that but I have been a total I've been immersed in cognition and learning theory and behaviorism and stuff like that Since my college years, which was a couple of years. It's been a minute, right? So I've always been into this stuff. I've always been attracted to I've always been the guy reading the research papers and staying in touch with it So I already knew that I I wasn't I knew I wasn't special I wanted to be special, but I knew that I wasn't So I'm not a good judge of that but it is very common to think that you are special and can't get better Oh, let's see here Okay, so marge has a wedding in october Which is could be in a couple of weeks could be in six weeks. I don't know and I'm already convinced I won't enjoy it like see that the way that anxiety will tell you don't go shouldn't go. It's going to be terrible. It's going to be awful And the knee-jerk reaction to that is to try to find a way to guarantee that it won't be awful But really and truly the lesson of recovery is that well, maybe it won't be great, but I can handle it not being great I know that sucks But that's really what you're after there because I know when you say that a lot of people will say oh, you're gonna have a great time It's going to be a happy day Maybe that would be great if you do but We're always learning that all states are permitted whether it's you have a great time And it's an awesome time at the wedding or the wedding kind of sucks And it's not fun or you're anxious at the wedding all are permitted because you can handle all of that It's really important really important um Let's see here. Thanks so much for the explanation. You're very welcome my friend Uh, it took me a long time as I was thinking about what about my thoughts? Oh, okay. Ellen. Thank you for chiming in on this Thank you for chiming in it took me a long time. I always like but what about my thoughts This is also super common and I think we a couple more comments and then we'll end it Uh people feel like oh well, I'm not afraid of my racing heart. I'm not afraid of my breath I'm not I don't feel a bit I'm dizzy anymore or anything like that But my thoughts but my thoughts it's always the word but in the beginning Because anxious thoughts or scary thoughts or thoughts or thoughts about thoughts because some people get caught in a Loop of thinking about thinking that's special. Like that's different. It's my thoughts now You know, I know but it's the same like a thought and a symptom are really the same thing We treat them exactly the same way. It doesn't matter what you're thinking Like just like it doesn't matter if your heart is going 110 beats per minute or 80 beats per minute It doesn't matter in the end Well, we don't care what you're thinking the content of the thoughts never matters But it's really really common to think that scary thoughts are special and unique, but they're not Ellen yes, I'll put this right up on the screen. So Hans is talking to Ellen Ellen is persistent man. Ellen. I give you all kinds of props and respect and credit because This is a person Ellen is not shying away from this And everybody slips up and everybody stumbles from time to time, but I know Ellen you're you're still at it And I appreciate that about you. I really do so Let's see here Can we have a live stream of Edward drill? I'm likely to do that And I'll tell you why because I know other people come back and watch these videos afterwards I'll tell you why I don't talk about meds that much. So those of you who are here and want to hear why this is why Because when we talk about meds it invariably becomes people either want me to give them specific Instructions on like what med were you on? Did you ever switch meds? Which dose would you're on? Did you what did you eat or not eat with that? Like how long did it take you to taper? What was your taping schedule? And and that doesn't matter what my tapering schedule was It doesn't matter like nobody knows this. Here's reality. Nobody knows this We have general idea go slow But but anybody that tells you here is the special specific way that you must taper your med Eh Why because the internet said so because a lot of people thought that it helped them There are general principles, but there's no specific instructions that will apply to anybody because we just don't know We know more than we did when I went through it But we still don't know a whole lot and then the other problem with discussing meds is We talk about getting off meds people who are on meds will get angry at me and say that I am shaming them We're talking about not using meds and people if we talk about using meds Then people who feel really proud that they're not and you haven't you can feel whatever you want That's fine. It's on you have a need to come in and talk about how well I did it without meds You could do without meds So there's no common ground there and then feelings get hurt and it turns into an argument and oh you're med shaming and I'm not having it. So unfortunately, we can't have that discussion Yes, thank you Bethany says, you know Any other story is not your story. So this is why I don't talk about it And I know people get angry sometimes how how is this anxiety help if I can't talk about meds because meds discussion is almost never fruitful It's almost never fruitful the work that we do here can exist while you're taking meds while you're coming off of meds And it it doesn't necessarily change things other than the recognition that there's another challenge there in it for you And that physically you might have anxiety that you can't make go away at the moment because of that The episode of my podcast two weeks ago with jennifer swantowski is really good about this Right really good. She talks about how she applied all of these principles as she's going through her benzo withdrawal So if you want to listen to that podcast episode Just go to the anxious truth.com and search for Jennifer and you'll find her podcast episode. She'll talk about that But yeah, everything is a debate debate debate can't do it So there's no reason for that I'm going to scroll down to the bottom here. I think we're good almost at the end. How do I find your videos? I mentioned that they're on the on my youtube channel search on my website all that stuff Scroll scrolling scrolling. I think I'm getting to the end here 41 minutes is about it You can answer I feel that way, but you can just acknowledge it differently. Okay, cool. I like it Uh Get a dog. I love I dig when you guys talk to each other. I really do it's going to be great Let's see here Sorry, I'm watching you're watching me scroll. That's not that's not fun How to deal with having a loved one, okay? Well, I'll throw this up one real quick a couple of comments at the end here and then we're out How to deal with having a loved one suffering from a chronic disease. Well, that's not good that like that's that's not a good situation I'm sorry about that I'm sorry for whoever it is in your family or your friend who's dealing with that. That's not a good thing It's not fun at all But we would talk about it's normal to be stressed by that. It's normal to be concerned about that It's normal to feel emotions about that if it's somebody that you love who's struggling Everybody would feel that you're allowed to be nor a human like we're not trying to erase our humanity here Just understand the difference between I'm really sad or I'm really upset or I'm really worried about my mom or my best friend Or my my partner whoever it is and the difference between that and I'm afraid that I'm really worried We're like the worry itself the emotion itself the concern itself the fear about that person's future It's okay. It's normal the fear the worry the concern becomes its own problem. That's what we care about here So it's okay to express stress and it's okay to be afraid. It's okay to all those things, but It just becomes a you have to be careful that The state that you're in doesn't become the problem itself separate from what that person is going through It's the best advice I have there So there's no special way to deal with it. Just recognize when you're making your feelings their own problem They don't have to be I think we are near the end. I'm sorry guys. I can't get to all of the comments. I tried but I can't do it I think we're at the end. All right, so We talked about q and a's maybe we'll do q and a's. I think what I might do This term school is beating me up a little bit So there's a lot of reading and writing in this term So it's really taking a whole lot of my time. I might take a break next week We will probably won't do recovery monday next week, but I will come up with something Maybe we'll just do like Friday. I'll put up a q and a post on on instagram or q and a post on facebook We'll collect questions and we'll do q and a's I'll get I'll drag josh back in here and kim and some of the usual crew We'll do those things from time to time if you guys have people you want me to talk to I'll try and get them in So we'll try and keep it a regular monday thing I'm going to take next monday off, but then we'll be back at it after that and we'll see what we do So I appreciate you guys coming by and hanging out with me every monday I definitely want to keep it going again if you don't have a copy of this book You can get it on my website at the anxious truth dot com or seven percent slower dot com Where you see the really cool video trailer for the book with my buddy craig made he's a super talented guy And that's it. Thanks guys. I will see you in about two weeks. Hope this has been helpful. We're out