 CHAPTER IX. This is a painful chapter for me to write—mercifully it is to be a short one. Later on I shall become used to the situation, inclined even to dwell upon its humorous side, but for the moment I cannot see beyond the sadness of it. That to a prince of the royal house of Arabic and such an estimable young man as Udo those things should happen. Roger scurvy legs frankly breaks down over it. That abominable woman, he says, meaning of course Belvane, and he has hysterics for more than a page. Let us describe it calmly. Coronel came back from his stroll in the same casual way in which he had started, and dropped down lazily upon the grass to wait until Udo was ready to mount. He was not thinking of Udo. He was wondering if Princess Hyacinth had an attendant of surpassing beauty, or a dragon of surpassing malevolence, if, in fact, there were any adventures in Uralia for a humble fellow like himself. Coronel said a small voice behind him. He turned round indifferently. Hello, Udo, where are you? He said. Isn't it time we were starting? We aren't starting, said the voice. What's the matter? What are you hiding in the bushes for? Whatever's the matter, Udo? I'm not very well. My poor Udo, what's happened? He jumped up and made towards him. Stop! shrieked the voice. I command you! Coronel stopped. Your royal highness's command, he began rather coldly. There was an ominous sniffing from the bushes. Coronel said an unhappy voice at last. I think I'm coming out. Wondering what it all meant, Coronel waited in silence. Yes, I am coming out, Coronel, said the voice, but you mustn't be surprised if I don't look very well. I'm—I'm—Cornel, here I am, said Udo pathetically, and he stepped out. Coronel didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Poor Prince Udo. He had the head and the long ears of a rabbit, and in some unfortunate way a look of the real Prince Udo in spite of it. He had the mane and the tail of a lion. In between the tail and the mane, it is difficult to say what he was, save that there was an impression of magnificence about his person—such magnificence, anyhow, as is given by an astrakhan trimmed fur coat. Coronel decided that it was an occasion for tact. Ah, here you are, he said cheerfully. Shall we get along? Don't be a fool, Coronel, said Udo, almost crying. Don't pretend that you can't see that I've got a tail. What bless my soul so you have a tail. Well, think of that. Udo showed what he thought of it by waving it peevishly. This is not a time for tact, he said. Tell me what I look like. Coronel considered for a moment. Really? Frankly? he asked. Eh, yes, said Udo nervously. Then frankly your royal highness looks funny. Very funny, said Udo wistfully. Very funny, said Coronel. His highness sighed. I was afraid so, he said. That's the cruel part about it. Had I been a lion there would have been a certain pathetic splendour about my position. Isolated, cut off, suffering in regal silence. He waved an explanatory paw. Even in the most hideous of beasts there might be a dignity. He meditated for a moment. Have you ever seen a yak, Coronel? he asked. Never. I saw one once in Barodia. It is not a beautiful animal, Coronel, but as a yak I should not have been entirely unlovable. One does not laugh at a yak, Coronel, and where one does not laugh one may come to love. What does my head look like? It looks striking. I haven't seen it, you see. To one who didn't know your royal highness it would convey the impression of a rabbit. Udo laid his head between his paws and wept. A rabbit, he sobbed, so undignified, so lacking in true pathos, so, and not even a whole rabbit, he added bitterly. How did it happen? I don't know, Coronel. I just went to sleep and woke up feeling rather funny, and... He sat up suddenly and stared at Coronel. It was that old woman did it. You mark my words, Coronel. She did it. What should she? I don't know. I was very polite to her. Don't you remember my saying to you, be polite to her because she's probably a fairy? You see, I saw through her disguise at once. Coronel, what shall we do? Let's hold a council of war and think it over. So they held a council of war. Prince Udo put forward two suggestions. The first was that Coronel should go back on the morrow and kill the old woman. The second was that Coronel should go back that afternoon and kill the old woman. Coronel pointed out that as she had turned Prince Udo into a—a—quite so, said Udo, it was likely that she alone could turn him back again, and that in that case he had better only threaten her. I want somebody killed, said Udo, rather, naturally. Suppose, said Coronel, you stay here for two days while I go back and see the old witch and make her tell me what she knows. She knows something I'm certain. Then we shall see better what to do." Udo mused for a space. Why didn't they turn you into anything? he asked. Really, I don't know, perhaps because I'm too unimportant. Yes, that must be it. He began to feel a little brighter. Obviously, that's it. He caressed a whisker with one of his paws. They were afraid of me. He began to look so much happier that Coronel thought it was a favourable moment in which to withdraw. Shall I go now, your royal highness? Yes, yes, you may leave me. And shall I find you here when I come back? You may or may not, Coronel, you may or may not. Afraid of me? he murmured to himself. Obviously. And if I don't, then return to the palace. Good-bye, your royal highness. Udo waved a paw at him. Good-bye, good-bye. Coronel got on his horse and rode away. As soon as he was out of earshot, he began to laugh. Spasm after spasm shook him. No sooner had he composed himself to gravity than a remembrance of Udo's appearance started him off again. I couldn't have stayed with him a moment longer, he thought. I should have burst poor Udo. However, we'll soon get him all right. That evening he reached the place where the cottage had stood, but it was gone. Next morning he rode back to the wood. Udo was gone, too. He returned to the palace and began to think it out. Left to himself, Udo very soon made up his mind. There were three courses open to him. He might stay where he was till he was restored to health. This he rejected at once. When you have the head of a rabbit, the tail of a lion, and the middle of a woolly lamb, the need for action of some kind is imperative. All the blood of your diverse ancestors calls you to be up and doing. He might go back to Arabic. To Arabic where he was so well known, so respected, so popular? To Arabic where he rode daily among his father's subjects that they might have the pleasure of cheering him? How awkward for everybody! On to Uralia, then? Why not? The Princess Hyacinth had called for him. What devotion it showed if he came to her even now in his present state of bad health? She was in trouble—enchanters, wizards, what-nots. Already, then, he had suffered in her service, so at least he would say, and so possibly it might be. Coronel had thought him funny. But women had not much sense of humour as a rule. Probably as a child Hyacinth had kept rabbits or lambs. She would find him strokeable. And the lion in him, in his tail, in his fierce mane, she would find that inspiring. Women like to feel that there is something fierce, untameable in the man they love. Well, there it was. It was not as if he had Coronel with him. Coronel and he, in his present health, could never have gone into Uralia together. The contrast was too striking. But he alone, Hyacinth's only help, surely she would appreciate his magnanimity. Also, as he had told himself a moment ago, there was quite a chance that it was a Uralian enchanter who had put this upon him to prevent him helping Hyacinth. If so, he had better go to Uralia in order to deal with that enchanter. For the moment he did not see exactly how to deal with him, but no doubt he would think of some tremendously cunning device later on. To Uralia then, with all dispatch, he trotted off. As Coronel had said, they were evidently afraid of him. End of chapter 9 CHAPTER 10 OF ONCE ON A TIME This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Evelyn Clark. Once on a time by A.A. Milne. CHAPTER 10 The Lady Belvane sits in her garden. She is very happy. An enormous quill pen, taken from a former favorite goose, and colored red, is in her right hand. The hair of her dark head, held on one side, touches the paper whereon she writes, and her little tongue peeps out between her red lips. Her left hand taps the table. One-two, one-two, one-two, one-two, one-two. She is composing. Wonderful woman. You remember that scene with the Princess Hyacinth? I feel we want a little outside help in our affairs. A fortnight of suspense before Prince Udu arrived. What had the ring done to him? At the best. Even if there would be no Udu at all to interfere. Nevertheless, she knew that she had lost her footing at the palace. She and the Princess would now be open enemies. At the worst, those magic rings were so untrustworthy. A Prince, still powerful, and now seriously annoyed, might be leaned against her. Yet she composed. And what is she writing? She is entering for the competition, in connection with the encouragement of literature scheme, the last scheme which the Princess had signed. I like to think of her peacefully writing at a time when her whole future hung in the balance. Roger sneers at her. Even now, he says, she was hoping to ring a last bag full of gold from her wretched country. I deny emphatically that she was doing anything of the sort. She was entering for a duly authorized competition under the pen name of Charlotte Paddockake. The fact that the Countess Balvane according to the provisions of the scheme was sole judge of the competition is beside the point. Balvane's opinion of Charlotte Paddockake's poetry was utterly sincere and uninfluenced in any way by monetary considerations. If Paddockake were rewarded the first prize, it would be because Balvane honestly thought she was worth it. One other fact, by the way of defense against Roger's slanders. As judge, Balvane had chosen the subject of the prize poems. Now Balvane and Paddockake both excelled in the lighter forms of lyrical verse. Yet the subject of the poem was to be epic. The Baroto-Uralian War, no less, how many modern writers would be as fair. The Baroto-Uralian War. This line is written in gold and by itself would obtain a prize in any local competition. King Marywig I wrote out to war as many other kings had done before. Five hundred men behind him marched to fight. There follows a good deal of scratching out and then comes a sudden inspiration, the sublimely simple line. Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right. One can almost hear the men moving. What glad some cheers assailed the balmy air. They came from north, from south, from everywhere. No white that stood upon that sacred scene could gaze upon the sight unmoved, I wean. No white that stood upon that sacred spot could gaze upon the sight unmoved, I want. It is not quite clear whether the last couplet is an alternative to the couplet before or is purposely added in order to strengthen it. Looking over her left shoulder, it seems to me that there is a line drawn through the first one, but I cannot see very clearly because of her hair, which will keep strain over the page. Why do they march so fearless and so bold? The answer is not very quickly told. To put it shortly, the Barodian king insulted Marywig like anything. King Marywig, the dignified and wise, who saw him flying over with surprise as the king of the Barodian king, as did his daughter, Princess Hyacinth. That was as far as she got. She left the table and began to walk round her garden. There is nothing like it for assisting thought. However, today it was not helping much. She went three times round and still couldn't think of a rhyme for Hyacinth. Plinth was a little difficult to work in. Besides, she reminded herself, I don't quite know what it means. Belvane felt as I do about poetry that however incomprehensible it may be to the public, the author should be quite at ease with it. She added up the lines she had written already. 17. If she stopped there, it would be the only epic that had stopped at the 17th line. She sighed, stretched her arms, and looked up at the sky. The weather was all against her. It was the ideal largeess morning. Twenty minutes later, she was on her cream white Palfrey. Twenty-one minutes later, Henrietta Crossbuns had received a bag of gold neatly under the eye as she bobbed to her ladyship. To this extent, only did H. Crossbuns leave her mark upon Uralian history. But it was a mark which lasted for a full month. Hyacinth knew nothing of all this. She did not even know that Belvane was entering for the prize poem. She had forgotten her promise to encourage literature in the realm. And why? Ah, ladies, can you know that not guess why? She was thinking of Prince Yudu of Arabi. What did he look like? Was he dark or fair? Did his hair curl naturally or not? Was he wondering at all what she looked like? Wigs had already decided that he was to fall in love with her royal highness and marry her. I think, said Wigs, that he'll be very tall and have lovely blue eyes and golden hair. This is what they were like when they first met. They were very close to each other. Like in all the books she had ever dusted. Like this were the seven princes, now pursuing perilous adventures in distant countries, to whom the king had promised Hyacinth's hand. Prince Hanspatch of Trigon, Prince Ulrich, the Duke of High and Low, and all the rest of them. Poor Prince Ulrich. In the moment of victory he was accidentally fallen upon by the giant whom he was engaged in undermining and lost all appetite for adventure thereby. Indeed, in his latter years he was alarmed by anything larger than a goldfish and lived a life of strictest seclusion. I think he'll be dark, said Hyacinth. Her own hair was corn colored. Poor Prince Hanspatch of Trigon. I've just remembered about him. No, I haven't. It was the Duke of High and Low. Poor Duke of High and Low. A misunderstanding with a wizard having caused his head to face the wrong way round. He was so often said goodbye to at the very moment of arrival that he gradually lost his enthusiasm for social enterprises and confined himself to his own life. His own palace, where his acrobatic dexterity in supplying himself with soup, was a constant source of admiration to his servants. However, it was Prince Yudu of whom they were thinking now. The messenger had arrived from Arabi. His royal highness must be expected on the morrow. I do hope he'll be comfortable in the purple room, said Hyacinth. I wonder if it wouldn't have been better to have left him in the blue room after all. They had had him in the blue room two days ago until Hyacinth thought that perhaps he would be more comfortable in the purple room after all. The purple room has the best view, said Wigs helpfully. And it gets the sun. Wigs, don't forget to put some flowers there, and have you given him any books? I gave him two, said Wigs, quest for princes and wild animals at home. Oh, I'm sure he'll like those. Now, let's think, what shall we do when he comes? He'll arrive sometime in the afternoon. Naturally, he will want a little refreshment. Would he like a picnic in the forest? asked Wigs. I don't think anyone wants a picnic after a long journey. I love picnics. Yes, dear, but you see, Prince Udu's much older than you, and I expect he's had so many picnics that he's tired of them. I suppose I really ought to receive him in the throne room, but that's so, so stuffy, said Wigs. That's just it. We should feel uncomfortable with each other the whole time. I think I shall receive him up here. I never feel so nervous in the open air. Will the Countess be here? asked Wigs. No, said the Princess coldly. At least she corrected herself. She will not be invited. Good afternoon, Countess. It was like her, thought Hyacinth, to arrive at that very moment. Belvane curtsied low. Good afternoon, Your Royal Highness. I am here purely on a matter of business. I thought it to my duty to inform Your Royal Highness of the result of the Literature Prize. She spoke meekly as one who forgave Hyacinth for her unkindness towards her. Certainly, Countess, I shall be glad to hear the Countess unrolled a parchment. The prize has been won, she said, by, she held the parchment a little closer to her eyes, by, Charlotte Patacake. Oh, yes. Who is she? A most deserving woman, Your Royal Highness, if she is the woman I am thinking of. A most deserving person to whom the money will be more than welcome. Her poem shows a sense of values, combined with a breath and a distance, such as I have seldom seen equaled. The technique is only excelled by the, shall I say, temperamentality, the boldness of the coloring, by the sense of value. Temperamentality, the boldness of the coloring, by the, how shall I put it, the firmness of the outline, in short, in short, said the Princess, you like it. Your Royal Highness, it is unique. But naturally, you will wish to hear it for yourself. It is only some twelve hundred lines long, I will declaim it for Your Royal Highness. She held the manuscript out at the full length of her left arm, struck an attitude with the right arm, and began in her most thrilling voice, King Mary Whig, the first rode out to war as many other kings. Yes, Countess, but another time. I am busy this afternoon. As you know, I think, the Prince Yudu of Araby arrives tomorrow, and Balvane's lips were still moving, and her right arm swayed up and down. What a glad some cheers assailed the balmy air, she murmured to herself, and her hand went up to heaven. They came from north, from south. She pointed in the directions mentioned, from everywhere, no white that stood. He will be received privately up here by myself in the first place, and afterwards could gaze upon the sight unmoved I want, whispered Balvane, and placed her hand upon her breast to show that anyhow it had been too much for her. Why do they march so? I beg Your Royal Highness's pardon. I was so carried away by this wonderful poem. I do beg Your Royal Highness to read it. The Princess waved the manuscript aside. I am not unmindful of the claims of literature, Countess, and I shall certainly read the poem another time. Meanwhile, I can, I hope, trust you to see that the prize is awarded to the rightful winner. What I am telling you now is that Prince Yudu is arriving tomorrow. Balvane looked innocently puzzled. Prince Yudu, Yudu, would that be the Prince Yudu of Carrow Way, Your Royal Highness, a man with three legs? Prince Yudu of Araby, said Hyacinth Sternley. I think I have already mentioned him to your ladyship. He will make a stay of some months. But how delightful Your Royal Highness to see a man again. We were all getting so dull together. We want a man to wake us up a little, don't we, wigs? I will go and give orders about his room at once, Your Royal Highness. You will wish him to be in the purple room, of course. That settled it. He will be in the blue room, said Hyacinth, decidedly. Certainly, Your Royal Highness, fancy wigs, a man again. I will go and see about it now. If I may have, Your Royal Highnesses leave to withdraw. A little mystified by Balvane's manner, Hyacinth inclined her head and a countess withdrew. Watercress seems to go with the ears. Wigs gave a parting pat to the tablecloth and stood looking at it with her head on one side. Now then, she said, have we got everything? What about Sardines, said Woggs, in her common way? I don't think a prince would like Sardines, said Wigs. If I'd been on a long journey, I'd love Sardines. It is a very long journey from Arab, isn't it? Awfully long. Why, it's taken him nearly a week. Perhaps, she added, hopefully. He's had something on the way. Perhaps he took some sandwiches with him, said Woggs, thinking that this would be a good thing to do. What do you think he'll be like next? Woggs thought for a long time. Like the king, she said, only different, she added as an afterthought. Up came the princess for the fifth time that afternoon. All excitement. Well, she said, is everything ready? Yes, Your Royal Highnesses. Except Woggs and me didn't quite know about Sardines. The princess laughed happily. I think there will be enough there for him. It all looks very nice. She turned round and discovered behind her the last person she wanted to see just then. The last person she wanted to see just then curtsied effectively. Forgive me, Your Royal Highnesses, she said profusely, but I thought I had left the Charlotte patacakes priceless manuscript up here. No, evidently I was mistaken, Your Royal Highness. I will withdraw, Your Royal Highness, as I know Your Royal Highness would naturally wish to receive His Royal Highness alone. Listening to this speech, one is impressed with Woggs, method of calling everybody ma. Not at all, Countess, said Hyacinth Codling. We would prefer you to stay and help us receive His Royal Highness. He is a little late, I think. Belvane looked unspeakably distressed. Oh, I do hope that nothing has happened to him on the way, she exclaimed. I have an uneasy feeling that something may have occurred. What could have happened to him? asked Hyacinth, not apparently very much alarmed. Oh, Your Royal Highness, it's just a sort of silly feeling of mine. There may be nothing in it. There was a noise of footsteps from below. A man's voice was heard. The princess and the Countess both extremely nervous, but from entirely different reasons. Arrange suitable smiles of greeting upon their faces. Wigs and Woggs stood in attitudes of appropriate makeness by the table. The court painter could have made a beautiful picture of it. His Royal Highness, Prince Udo of Arabe, announced the voice of an attendant. A nervous moment, said Belvane to herself. Can the ring have failed to act? Udo trodded in. It hasn't, said Belvane. Princess Hyacinth gave a shriek and faltered slowly backwards. Wigs, who was familiar with these little accidents in the books, which she dusted, and Woggs, who had a natural love for any kind of animal, stood their ground. Whatever is it, murmured Hyacinth. It was as well that Belvane was there. Allow me to present to Your Royal Highness, she said, stepping forward. His Royal Highness, Prince Udo of Arabe. Prince Udo, said Hyacinth. All unwilling to believe it. I'm afraid so, said Udo gloomily. He had thought over this meeting a good deal in the last two or three days, and he realized now that he had underestimated difficulties of it. Hyacinth remembered that she was a princess and a woman. I'm delighted to welcome Your Royal Highness to Urelia, she said. Won't you sit down? I mean up or down. How did Rabbith sit, or whatever he was? Udo decided to sit up. Thank you. You have no idea how difficult it is to talk on four legs to somebody higher up. It strains the neck so. There was an awkward silence. Nobody quite knew what to say, except Belvane. She turned to Udo with her most charming smile. Did you have a pleasant journey? She asked sweetly. No, said Udo coldly. Oh, do tell us what happened to you, cried Hyacinth. Did you meet some terrible enchanter on the way? Oh, I am so dreadfully sorry. When one is not feeling very well, there is a certain type of question which is always annoying. Can't you see what's happened to me, said Udo crossly. I don't know how it happened. I had come two days journey from Arabic when, please, Your Royal Highness, said Wigs. Is this your tale in the salt? She took it out, gave it a shake, and handed it back to him. Oh, thank you, thank you. Two days journey from Arabic when I woke up one afternoon and found myself like this. I ask you to imagine my annoyance. My first thought, naturally, was to return home and hide myself, but I told myself, Princess, that you wanted me. The Princess could not help being touched by this, said as it was with a graceful movement of the ears and a caressing of the right whisker. But she wondered a lot what she would do with him now that she had got him. Er, what are you? Put in Belvane kindly, knowing how men are always glad to talk about themselves. Udo had caught sight of a well-covered table and was looking at it with a curious mixture of hope and resignation. Very, very hungry, he said, speaking with the Arab one who knows. The Princess, whose mind had been traveling, woke up suddenly. Oh, I was forgetting my manners. She said with a smile for which the greedyists would have forgiven her. Let us sit down and refresh ourselves. May I present to your Royal Highness the Countess Belvane. Do I shake hands or pat him? murmured that mistress of court etiquette for once at a loss. Udo placed a paw over his heart and bowed profoundly. Charmed, he said gallantly, and coming from a cross between a lion, a rabbit, and a woolly lamb the mere suggestion of gallantry has a most pleasing effect. They grouped themselves round the repast. A little sherbert, your Royal Highness, said Hyacinth, who presided over the bowl. Udo was evidently longing to say yes, but hesitated. I wonder if I dare. It's very good sherbert said wigs to encourage him. I'm sure it is, my dear, but the question is, do I like sherbert? You can't help knowing if you like sherbert. Don't bother with him wigs, said Hyacinth, a venison sandwich, dear Prince. The question is, do I like venison sandwiches? I do. Announced wogs to anyone who was interested. You see, explained Udo. I really don't know what I like. They were all surprised at this particularly wogs. Belving who was enjoying herself too much to wish to do anything but listen said nothing, and it was the princess who obliged Udo by asking him what he meant. It was the subject upon which he was longing to let himself go to somebody. Well, he said, expanding himself a little so that wigs had to remove his tail this time from the custard. What am I? Nobody ventured to offer an opinion. Am I a hare? Then put me next to the red karat jelly or whatever it is that hare is like. The anxious eye of the hostess wandered over the table. Am I a lion? Went on Udo, developing his theme. Then passed me wigs. Oh, please don't be a lion, said wigs gently as she stroked his mane. But haven't you a feeling for anything, asked Hyacinth? I have a great feeling of emptiness. I yearn for something, only I don't quite know what. I hope it isn't sardines, whispered wigs to wogs. But what have you been eating on the way, asked the princess? Oh, grass and things chiefly. I thought I should be safe with grass. And were you safe, asked Bovain with a great show of anxiety? Udo coughed and said nothing. I know it's silly of me, said Hyacinth, to understand. I should have thought that if you were a quite so, said Udo, then you would know by instinct what exactly, said Udo, likes to eat. Ah, I thought you'd think that. That's just what I thought when this, when I began to feel unwell. But I've worked it out since, and it's all wrong. This is interesting, said Bovain, settling herself more comfortably. Do go on. He coughed and looked round at them coiling. This is really rather a delicate subject. Not at all, murmured Hyacinth. Well, it's like this. When an enchanter wants to annoy you, he generally turns you into an animal of some kind. Bovain achieved her first blush since she was seventeen. It is a humorous way they have, she said. But suppose you really were an animal altogether, it wouldn't annoy you at all. An elephant isn't annoyed at being an elephant, he just tries to be a good elephant. And he'd be miserable if he couldn't do things with his trunk. The annoying thing is to look like an elephant, to have the very complicated inside of an elephant, and yet all the time, really, to be a man. They were all intensely interested. Wax thought that it was going to lead up to a revelation of what sort of animal Prince Udo she was destined to be disappointed. After all, there were advantages in Udo's present position as a man he had never been listened to so attentively. Now, suppose for a moment I am a lion. I have the delicate apparatus of a lion, but the beautiful thoughts and aspirations of a prince. Thus, there is one side of me which craves for raw beef, but nonetheless, there is a higher side of me he brought his paw up towards his heart. Which, well, you know how you'd feel about it yourself. The prince has shuttered. I should, she said with conviction. Belvane was interested, but thought at all a little crude. You see, the point went on Udo. A baby left to itself doesn't know what is good for it. Left to itself, it would eat anything. Now, turn a man suddenly into an animal and he is in exactly the same state as that baby. I hadn't thought of it like that, said Hyacin. I've had to think of it. Now, let us proceed further with the matter. Udo was thoroughly enjoying himself. He had not had such a time since he had given an address on Beatles to all the leading citizens of Arabi at his coming of age. Suppose again that I am a lion. I know from what I have read or seen that raw meat agrees best with the lions of this organization. And however objectionable it might look, I should be foolish not to turn to it for sustenance. But if you don't quite know what animal you're supposed to be, see how difficult the problem becomes. It's a question of trying all sorts of horrible things in order to find out what agrees with you. His eyes took on a faraway look, a look in which the most poignant memory seemed to be reflected. You've been experimenting, he said, for the last three days. They all gazed sadly and sympathetically at him, except O'Vane. She of course wouldn't. What went best, she asked brightly. Oddly enough said Udo, cheering up a little, banana fritters. Have you ever kept an animal who lived entirely on banana fritters? Never smiled the princess. Well, that's the animal I probably am, he sighed and added. There were one or two animals I wasn't. For a little while, he seemed to be revolving bitter memories and then went on. I don't suppose any of you here have any idea how very prickly thistles are when they are going down. May I try a watercress sandwich? It doesn't suit the tale, but it seems to go with the ears. He took a large bite and added through the leaves. I hope I don't bore you with the princess with my little troubles. Hyacinth clasped his paw impulsively. My dear Prince Udo, I'm only longing to help. We must think of some way of getting this horrible enchantment off you. There are so many wise books in the library and my father has composed a spell which, oh, I'm sure we shall soon have you all right again. Udo took another sandwich. Very good of you, princess, to say so. Do you understand how annoying a little indisposition of this kind is to a man of my temperament? He beckoned to wigs. How do you make these? He asked in an undertone. Gracefully undelating, Belvane rose from her seat. Well, she said, I must go and see that the stable, she broke off in a pretty confusion, how silly of me. I mean the royal apartment is prepared. Have I, your royal highnesses, leave to withdraw? You too had better run along and see if you can help. You may leave the watercress sandwiches. She added as wigs hesitated for a moment. With a graceful look at her royal highness, Udo helped himself to another one. End CHAPTER XI. recorded by Perez. CHAPTER XII. OF ONCE ON A TIME. This is a LibraVox recording. All LibraVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibraVox.org. Recording by Evelyn Clark. Once on a time by A.A. Milne. CHAPTER XII. We decide to write to Udo's father. Now my dear princess said Udo, as soon as they were alone, let me know in what way I can help you. Oh Prince Udo said highest sense earnestly, it is so good of you to have come. I feel that this, this little accident is really my fault for having asked you here. Not at all, dear lady. It is the sort of little accident that might have happened to anybody, anywhere. If I can still be of assistance to you, pray inform me. Though my physical powers may not, for the moment, be quite what they were, I flatter myself that my mental capabilities are in no way diminished. He took another bite of his sandwich and wagged his head wisely at her. Let's come over here, said highest sense. She moved across to an old stone seat in the wall, Udo following with the plate and made room for him by her side. There is of course a way of indicating to a gentleman that he may sit next to you in the master field and tell you what he has been doing in town lately. And there is also another way of patting the sofa for Fido to jump up and be a good dog and lie down, sir. Highest Synth achieved something very tactful in between and Udo jumped up gracefully. Now we can talk, said Highest Synth. You noticed that lady, the Countess Belvane whom I presented to you. Udo nodded. What did you think of her? Udo was old enough to know what to say to that. I hardly looked at her, he said and he added with a deep bow naturally, your royal highness. Oh, I beg your pardon. Are my ears in your way? It's all right, said Highest Synth, rearranging her hair. Well, it was because of that woman that I sent for you. But I can't marry her like this, your royal highness. Highest Synth turned a startled face towards him. Udo perceived that he had blundered to hide his confusion. He took another sandwich quickly. I want your help against her, said Highest Synth, a little distantly. She is plotting against me. Oh, your royal highness. Now I see, said Udo and he wagged his head as much as to say you've come to the right man this time. I don't trust her, said Highest Synth impressively. Well, now, princess. I'm not surprised. I'll tell you something about that woman. Oh, what? Well, when I was announced just now, what happened? You, yourself, princess, were not unnaturally a little alarmed. Those two little girls were surprised and excited. But what of this countess, what did she do? What did she do? Nothing. Udo said impressively. She was neither surprised nor alarmed. Why, now, I come to think of it. I don't believe she was. And yet, said Udo, half pathetically, half proudly, princess don't generally look like this. Now, why wasn't she surprised? Highest Synth looked bewildered. Did she know you were sending for me? Udo went on? Yes. Because you had found out something about her. Yes. Then depend upon it. She's done it. What a mind that woman must have. But how could she do it? exclaimed Highest Synth. Of course, it's just the sort of thing she would do if she could. Udo didn't answer. He was feeling rather annoyed with Balvane and had got off his seat and was trotting up and down so as not to show his feelings before a lady. How could she do it? implored Highest Synth. Oh, she's in with some enchanter or somebody, said Udo, impatiently as he trotted past. Suddenly, he had an idea. He stopped in front of her. If only I were sure I was a lion. He tried to roar, exclaimed hastily and was only a practice one and roared again. No. I don't think I am a lion after all, he admitted sadly. Well, said Highest Synth, we must think of a plan. We must think of a plan, said Udo, and he came and sat meekly beside her again. He could not conceal it from himself no longer that he was not a lion. The fact depressed him. I suppose I have been weak, went on Highest Synth, but ever since the men went away, she has been the ruling spirit of the country. I think she is plotting against me. I know she is robbing me. I asked you here so that you could help me to find her out. Udo nodded his head, importantly, we must watch her, he announced. We must watch her, agreed Highest Synth. It may take months, did you say months, said Udo, turning to her excitedly. Yes, why? Well, it's, he gave a depreciating little cough. I know it's very silly of me, but, oh well, let's hope it will be all right. Why? Whatever is the matter? Udo was decidedly embarrassed. He wriggled, he drew little circles with his hind paw on the ground, and he shot little coy glances at her. Well, I, he gave a little nervous giggle. I have a sort of uneasy feeling that I may be one of those animals. He gave another conscious little laugh that have to go to sleep all through the winter. It would be very annoying if I, his paw became very busy here. If I had to dig a little hole in the ground, just when the plot was thickening. Oh, but you won't, said Hyacinth in distress. They were both silent for a moment, thinking of the awful possibilities. Udo's tail had fallen across Hyacinth's lap, and she began to play with it absently. Anyway, she said hopefully, it's only July now, yes, said Udo. I suppose I should get, busy about November. We ought to find out something before then. First of all, we'd better, uh-oh, he started up in dismay. I've just had a horrible thought. Don't I have to collect a little store of nuts and things? Surely. I should have to start that pretty soon, said Udo thoughtfully. You know, I shouldn't be very handy at it, climbing about after nuts. He went on dreamily. What a life for a... Oh, don't, pleaded Hyacinth. Surely only squirrels do that. Yes, yes. Now, if I were a squirrel, I should. May I have my tail for a moment? Oh, I'm so sorry, said Hyacinth, very much confused, as she realized the liberty she had been taking, and she handed his tail back to him. Not at all, said Udo. He took it firmly in his right hand. Now then, he said, we shall see. Watch this. In his back legs, he arched his tail over his head, and, letting go of it suddenly, began to nibble at a sandwich held in his two front paws. A pretty picture for an artist, but a bad model. The tail fell with a thud to the ground. There, said Udo triumphantly, that proves it. Why not a squirrel? Oh, I'm so glad, said Hyacinth, completely convinced as anyone would have been by this demonstration. Yes, well, that's all right then. Now we can make our plans. First of all, we'd better. He stopped suddenly, and Hyacinth saw that he was gazing at his tail. Yes, she said encouragingly. He picked up his tail and held it out in front of him. There was a large knot in the middle of it. Now, what have I forgotten? He said rubbing his head thoughtfully. Poor Hyacinth. Oh, dear Prince Udo, I'm so sorry, I'm afraid I did that without thinking. Udo, the gallant gentleman, was not found wanting. A lover's knot, he said. With a graceful inclin, no, he stopped in time. But really, those ears of his made ordinary politeness quite impossible. Oh, Udo, said Hyacinth impossibly. If only I could help you to get back to your proper form again. Yes, if only, said Udo, becoming practical again. But how are we going to do it? Just one more watercress sandwich, he said apologetically. They go with the ears so well. I shall threaten the Countess, said Hyacinth excitedly. I shall tell her that unless she makes the enchanter restore you to your proper form, I shall put her in prison. Udo was not listening. He had gone off into his own thoughts. Banana fritters and fresh sandwiches. He was murmuring to himself, I suppose I must be the only animal of the kind in the world. Of course, went on Hyacinth, half to herself. She might get the people on her side, the one she's bribed. And if she did, that's all right. That's all right, said Udo grandly. Leave her to me. There's something about your watercress that inspires me to do terrible deeds. I feel a new whatever I am. One gathers reluctantly from this speech that Udo had partaken too freely. Of course, said Hyacinth, I could write to my father who might send some of his men back, but I shouldn't like to do that. I shouldn't like him to think that I had failed him. Extraordinary how I take to these things, said Udo, allowing himself a little more room on the seat. Perhaps I am a rabbit, after all. I wonder what I should look like behind wire netting. He took another bite and went on. I wonder what I should do if I saw a ferret. I suppose you haven't got a ferret on you, princess. I beg your pardon, prince. I'm afraid I was thinking of something else. What did you say? Nothing, nothing. One's thoughts run on. He put his hand out for the plate and discovered that it was empty. He settled himself more comfortably and seemed to be about to sink into slumber when his attention was attracted suddenly by the knot in his tail. He picked it up and began lazily to undo it. I wish I could lash my tail, he murmured. Mine seems to be one of the tails that don't lash. He began very gingerly to feel the tip of it. I wonder if I've got a sting anywhere. He closed his eyes, murmuring. Sting countess's neck. Sting all over neck. Sting. Lots of stings and fell peacefully asleep. It was a disgraceful exhibition. Roger Scurvy Legs tried to slur it over, talks about the great heat of the sun and the notorious effect of even one or two watercress sandwiches on an empty stomach on a man who hasn't had nothing to eat for several days. This is to poulter with the facts. The effect of watercress sandwiches upon Yudu's arrangements, however furnished, we have all just seen for ourselves. But what Roger neglects to lay stress upon is the fact that it was the effect of 21 or 22 watercress sandwiches. There is no denying that it was a disgraceful exhibition. If I had been there, I should certainly have written to his father about it. Hyacinth looked at him uneasily. Her first feeling was one of sympathy. Poor fellow, she thought. He's had a hard time lately. But it is a strain on the sympathy to gaze too long on a mixture of lion, rabbit, and woolly lamb, particularly when the rabbit part has its mouth open and is snoring gently. Besides, what could she do with him? She had two of them on her hands now the Countess and the Prince. Belvane was in an even better position than before. She could now employ Yudu to help her in her plots against the Princess. Grant to me so and so or I'll keep the enchantment forever on his royal highness. And what could a poor girl do? Well, he would have to come up with some decision in the future. Meanwhile, the difficulties of the moment were enough. The most obvious difficulty was his bedroom. Was it quite the sort of room he wanted now? Hyacinth realized suddenly that to be hostess to such a collection of animals as Yudu was would require all the tact she possessed. Perhaps he would tell her what he wanted when he woke up. Better let him sleep peacefully now. She looked at him, smiled in spite of herself and went quickly down into the palace. End of Chapter 12 Chapter 13 of Once on a Time. This is a LibraVox recording. All LibraVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibraVox.org Recording by Evelyn Clark. Once on a Time by A. A. Milne Chapter 13 Pink Rhymes with think. Yudu awoke, slightly refreshed and decided to take a firm line with the Countess at once. He had no difficulty about finding his way down to her. The palace seemed to be full of servants all apparently busy about something which brought them for a moment inside of the newly arrived Prince and then whisked them off hand to mouth and shoulders shaking by one of these with more control over her continents than the others and annoyed Yudu was led into Val Vane's garden. She was walking up and down the flagged walk between her lavender hedges and as he came in she stopped her sundial and looked mockingly at him waiting for him to speak. Between the showers I mark the hours said the sundial on the suggestion of Val Vane one wet afternoon but for the moment the Countess was in the way. Ah, here we are said Yudu in a rather nasty voice. Here we are said Val Vane sweetly all of us suddenly she began to laugh Oh Prince Yudu she said you'll be the death of me count me as one more of your victims it is easy to be angry with anyone who will laugh at you all the time it is difficult to be effective particularly when but we need not dwell upon Yudu's handicap again I don't see anything to laugh at he said stiffly to intelligent people the outside appearance is not everything but it can be very funny can't it said Val Vane coaxingly wished for something humorous to happen to you but I never thought ah said Yudu now we've got it he spoke with the air of a clever cross examiner who has skillfully extracted an admission from a reluctant witness this sort of tone goes best with one of those keen legal faces perhaps that is why Val Vane laughed again you practically confessed that you did it went on Yudu magnificently did what turned me into a a rabbit said Val Vane innocently a foolish observation like this always pained Yudu what makes you think I'm a rabbit he asked I don't mind what you are but you'll never dare show yourself in the country like this be careful woman don't drive me too far beware at least you rouse the lion in me where asked Val Vane with a child like air with a gesture full of dignity and good breeding Yudu called attention said the countess is not the part of the lion that I'm afraid of for the moment Yudu was non-plussed but he soon recovered himself even supposing just for the sake of argument that I am a rabbit I still have something up my sleeve I'll come and eat your young carnations Val Vane adored her garden but she was sustained by the thought that it was only July just now she pointed this out to him it need necessarily be carnations he warned her I don't want to put my opinion against one who has forgive me inside knowledge on the subject but I think I have nothing in my garden at this moment that would agree with a rabbit I don't mind if it doesn't agree with me said Yudu heroically this was more serious her dear garden in which she composed ruined by the mastications machinations what was the word of an enemy the thought was unbearable you aren't a rabbit she said hastily you aren't really a rabbit because because you don't waffle your nose properly I could said Yudu simply I'm just keeping it back that's all show me how Yudu and her hands eagerly together it was not what he had come into the garden for and it accorded ill with the dignity of the royal house of araby but somehow one got led on by this wicked woman like this said Yudu the countess looked at him critically with her head on one side no she said naturally I'm a little out of practice I'm sorry said Belvane I'm afraid I can't pass you Yudu couldn't think what had happened to the conversation with a great effort he extracted himself from it enough of this countess he said sternly I have your admission it was you who put this enchantment on me it was I I wasn't going to have you here interfering with my plans your plans to rob the princess Belvane felt that it was useless to explain the principles of largesse throwing to Yudu there will always be men like Yudu and Roger Scurvy legs who take these narrow matter of fact views one merely waste time in arguing with them my plans she repeated very well I shall go straight to the princess and she will unmask you before the people Belvane smiled happily one does not often get such a chance and who she asked sweetly to unmask your royal highness before the people so that they may see the true Prince Yudu underneath what do you mean said Yudu though he was beginning to guess that noble handsome which is so justly the pride of araby how shall we show that to the people they'll form such a mistaken idea of it if they all see you like this won't they Yudu was quite sure now that he understood hyacinth had understood at the very beginning you mean that if the princess hyacinth end with your plans you will restore me to my proper form but that otherwise you will leave me like this one's actions are very much misunderstood side Belvane I've no doubt that this is how it will appear to future historians to Roger certainly it was too much for Yudu he forgot his manners and made a jump towards her she glided gracefully behind the sundial in a pretty affectation of alarm and the next moment Yudu decided that the contest between them was not to be settled by such rough and tumble methods as these the fact that his tail had caught in something helped him to decide Belvane was up to him in an instant there there she said soothingly let me undo it for you your royal highness she talked pleasantly as she worked at it every little accident teaches us something now if you'd been a rabbit this wouldn't have happened no I'm not even a rabbit said Yudu sadly Belvane stood up and made him a deep curtsy you are his royal highness Prince Yudu of Arabic your royal highness's straw is prepared when will your royal highness be pleased to retire it was a little unkind I think I should not record it of her were not Roger's so insistent now said Yudu and lolliped sadly off it was his one really dignified moment in Eurelia on his way to his apartment he met Wiggs Wiggs he said solemnly if ever you can do anything to me to annoy that woman such as making her an apple pie bed or anything like that I wish you do it whereupon he retired for the night into the mysteries of his toilet we had perhaps better not inquire as the chronicler of these simple happenings many years ago it is my duty to be impartial these are the facts I should say and it is for your nobility to judge them thus and thus my characters have acted how say you my lords and ladies I confess that this attitude is beyond me I have a fondness for all my people and I would not in regard to one of them there is no need for me to say anything in her defense about her at any rate we agree I mean Wiggs we take the same view as Hyacinth she was the best little girl in Eurelia it will come then as a shock to you as it did to me on the morning after I went home with Roger's 17 volumes to learn that on her day Wiggs could be as bad as anybody I mean really bad to tear your frock to read books which you ought to be dusting these are accidents which may happen to anybody far otherwise was Wiggs fall she adopted in fact the infamous suggestion of Prince Udo three nights later with malice of forethought and to the comfort of the king's enemies and the prejudice of the safety of the realm she made an apple pie bed for the Countess it was the most perfect apple pie bed ever made Cox himself could not have improved upon it Newton has seen nothing like it it took Wiggs a whole morning and the results though private that is the worst of an apple pie bed were beyond expectation after wrestling for half an hour the Countess spent the night guarding hammock composing a bitter ode to melancholy of course Wiggs caught it in the morning the Countess suspected what she could not prove Wiggs now in for a thoroughly bad week realized that it was her turn again what should she do an inspiration came to her she had been really bad it was a pity to waste such perfect badness as that why not have that one bad wish to which the ring entitled her she drew the ring out from its hiding place round her neck I wish she said holding it up I wish that the Countess bell vein she stopped to think of something I wish that the Countess shall never be able to write another rhyme again she held her breath expecting a thunder clap or some other outward token of the sudden death of bell veins muse instead she was struck by the extraordinary silence of the place she had a horrid feeling that everybody else was dead and realizing all at once that she was a very wicked little girl she ran up to her room and gave herself up to tears may you dear sir or madam repent as quickly however this is not a moral work an hour later Wiggs came into bell veins garden eager to discover in what way her inability to rhyme would manifest itself it seemed that she had chosen the exact moment in the throes of composition bell vein had quite forgotten the apple pie bed so absorbing is our profession she welcomed Wiggs eagerly and taking her hand led her towards the roses I have just been talking to my dear roses she said listen when air I take my walks about I like to see the roses out I like them yellow white and pink but crimson are the best I think but we shall never know about the butterfly it may be that Wiggs has lost us here a thought on Lepidopteria which the world can spare for she interrupted when did you write that I was just making it up when you came in dear child these thoughts often come to me as I walk up and down my beautiful garden the butterfly but Wiggs had let go her hand and was running back to the palace she wanted to be alone to think this out what had happened that it was truly a magic ring as the fairy had told her she had no doubt that her wish was a bad one that she had been bad enough to earn it she was equally certain what then had happened there was only one answer to her question the bad wish had been granted to someone else to whom she had lent the ring to nobody true she had told the princess about it but suddenly she remembered the countess had had it in her hands for a moment yes and she had sent her out of the room and so many thoughts crowded into Wiggs mind at this moment that she felt she must share them with somebody she ran off to find the princess end of chapter 13 chapter 14 of Once on a Time this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Patty Cunningham Once on a Time by A. A. Milne chapter 14 Why can't you be like Wiggs Hyacinth was with Udo in the library at much of his time in the library nowadays for surely in one of those many books was to be found some advice to a gentleman in temporary difficulties suitable to a case like his Hyacinth kept him company sadly it had been such a brilliant idea inviting him to Eurelia how she wished now that she had never done it well Wiggs she said with a gentle smile what have you been doing with yourself all morning Udo looked up from his mat to her I found out said Wiggs excitedly it was the Countess who did it Udo surveyed her with amazement the princess Hyacinth he said has golden hair one discovers these things gradually and he returned to his book Wiggs looked bewildered he means dear said Hyacinth that it is quite obvious that the Countess did it and we have known about it for days Udo wore as far as his face would permit the slightly puffy expression of one who has just said something profoundly ironical and is feeling self-conscious about it oh said Wiggs in such a disappointed voice that it seemed as if she were going to cry Hyacinth like the dear that she was made haste to comfort her we didn't really know she said we only guessed it but now that you have found out I shall be able to punish her properly no don't come with me she said as she rose and moved towards the door stay here and help His Royal Highness perhaps you can find the book that he wants you've read more of them than I have I expect left alone with the prince Wiggs was silent for a little looking at him rather anxiously do you know all about the Countess she asked it last if there's anything I don't know it must be very bad then you know that it's all my fault that you are like this oh dear Prince Udo I am so dreadfully sorry what do you mean your fault because it was my ring that did it Udo scratched his head in a slightly puzzled but quite a nice way tell me all about it from the beginning he said you have found out something after all I believe Wiggs told her story from the beginning how the fairy had given her a ring how the Countess had taken it from her for five minutes and had a bad wish on it and how Wiggs had found her out that very morning Udo was intensely excited by the story he trotted up and down the library muttering to himself he stopped in front of Wiggs as soon as she had finished is the ring still going he asked what do you mean can you have another wish on it yes just one then wish her to be turned into a he tried to think of something that would meet the case what about a spider he said thoughtfully but that's a bad wish said Wiggs yes but it's her turn oh but I'm only allowed a good wish now she added rapturously and I know what it's going to be so did Udo oh you dear he said casting an affectionate look on her yes that's it that I might be able to dance like a fairy Udo could hardly believe his ears and they were adequate enough for most emergencies but how is that going to help me he said tapping his chest with his paw but it's my ring said Wiggs and so of course I'm going to wish that I can dance like a fairy that's what I meant to as soon as I've been good for a day first the child was absurdly selfish Udo saw that he would have to appeal to her in another way of course he began I've nothing to say against dancing as dancing but I think you'll get tired of it just as I shall get tired of lettuce Wiggs understood now you mean that I might wish you to be a prince again well said Udo casually it just occurred to me as an example of what might be called the good wish then I shall never be able to dance like a fairy neither shall I if it comes to that said Udo really the child was very stupid oh it's too cruel said Wiggs stamping her foot I did so want to be able to dance Udo glanced gloomily into the future to live forever behind wire netting he mused to be eternally frightened by pink eyed ferrets to be offered brand mash brand mash brand mash whenever one visited week after week month after month year after year century after how long do rabbits live but Wiggs was not to be moved I won't give up my wish she said passionately Udo got onto his four legs of dignity keep your wish he said there are plenty of other ways of getting out of enchantments I'll learn up a piece of poetry by our court-po at Sakharino and recite it backwards when the moon is new something like that I can do this quite easily by myself keep your wish he went slowly out his tail looking more like a bell rope than ever followed him solemnly was for a moment left behind then with a jerk it was gone and Wiggs was left alone I won't give up my wish cried Wiggs again I'll wish it now before I'm sorry she held the ring up I wished that she stopped suddenly poor Prince Udo he seems very unhappy I wonder if it is a good wish to wish to dance when people are unhappy she thought this out for a little and then made her great resolve yes she said I'll wish him well again once more she held the ring up in her two hands I wish she said that Prince Udo I know what you're going to say it was no good her wishing her good wish because she had been a bad girl the day before making the countess an apple pie bed and all disgraceful how could she possibly suppose she didn't she remembered just in time oh bother said Wiggs standing in the middle of the room with the ring held above her head I've got to be good for a day first bother so the next day was Wiggs' good day the legend of it was handed down for years afterwards in Uralia marked with a red star in Roger's portentious volumes it had a chapter devoted to it there was some talk about it being made into a public holiday he tells us but this fell through Uralian mothers used to scold their naughty children with the words why can't you be like Wiggs and the children used to tell each other that there never was a real Wiggs and that it was only a made up story for parents however you have my word for it that it was true she began by getting up at five o'clock in the morning and after dressing herself very neatly and being particularly careful to wring out her sponge she made her own bed and tidied up the room for a moment she thought of waking the grown-ups in the palace and letting them enjoy the beautiful morning too but a little reflection showed her that this would not be at all a kindly act so having dusted the throne room for a few simple physical exercises she went outside and attended to the smaller domestic animals at breakfast she had three helps of something very nutritious which the Countess said would make her grow but only one help of everything else she sat up nicely all the time and never pointed to anything or drank with her mouth full after breakfast she scattered some crumbs on the lawn for the robins and then got to work again dusted and dusted then she swept and swept and swept then she sewed and sewed and sewed when anybody of superior station or age came into the room she rose and curtsied and stood with her hands behind her back while she was being spoken to when anybody said I wonder where I put my sew and sew she jumped up and said let me fetch it even if it was upstairs after dinner she made up a basket of provisions and took them to the old women who lived near the castle to some of them she sang or read aloud and when at one cottage she was asked now won't you give me a little dance she smiled bravely and said I'm afraid I don't dance very well I think that was rather sweet of her if I had been the fairy I should have let her off when she got back to the palace she drank two glasses of warm milk with the skin on and then went and weeded the countess's lawn and once when she trod by accident on a bed of flowers she left a footprint there instead of scraping it over hastily and pretending that she hadn't been near the place as you would have done and at half past six she kissed everybody good night so ended July the twentieth perhaps the most memorable day in Eurelian history Udo and Hyacinth spent the great day peacefully in the library a gentleman for all his fur Udo had not told the princess about Wig's refusal to help him besides a man has his dignity to be turned into a mixture of three animals by a woman of thirty and to be turned back again by a girl of ten with the plaything of the sex it was time he did something for himself now then how did that bit of saccharinos go let me see he beat time with a paw blood for something something some something like that blood for blood for no it's gone again I know there was a bit of blood in it I'm sure you'll get it soon said Hyacinth it sounds as though it's going to be just the sort of thing that's wanted oh I shall get it all right some of the words have escaped me for the moment that's all blood ah blood you must have heard of it princess it's about blood for he who something you must know the one I mean I know I've heard of it said the princess wrinkling her forehead and suddenly I can't quite think of it for the moment it's about a yes that's it said Udo then they both looked up at the ceiling with their heads on one side and murmured to themselves but noon came and still they hadn't thought of it after a simple meal they returned to the library I think I'd better write to Coronel said Udo and ask him about it I thought you said his name was oh this is not the poet it's just a friend of mine but he's rather good at this sort of thing the trouble is that it takes such a long time for a letter to get there and back at the word letter Hyacinth started suddenly oh Prince Udo she cried I can never forgive myself I've just remembered the very thing father told me in his letter that a little couplet he once wrote was being very useful for removing things what sort of things said Udo not too hopefully oh enchantments and things Udo was a little annoyed at the and things as though turning him back into a Prince again was as much in the day's work as removing rust from a helmet it goes like this said Hyacinth bow, ball, bill, bowl woe, wall, will, woe it sounds as though it would remove anything she added with a smile Udo set up rather eagerly I'll try he said is there any particular action that goes with it I've never heard of any I expect you ought to say it as if you meant it Udo set up on his back paws and gesticulating freely with his right paw declaimed bow, ball, bill, bowl woe, wall, will, wall he fixed his eyes on his paws waiting for the transformation he waited and waited nothing happened it must be alright said Hyacinth anxiously because I'm sure father would know try saying it more like this she repeated the lines in a voice so melting yet with all so dignified that the very chairs might have been expected Udo imitated her as well as he could at about the time when Wiggs was just falling asleep he repeated it in his fiftieth different voice I'm sorry said Hyacinth perhaps it isn't so good as father thought it was there's just one chance said Udo it's possible it may have to be said on an empty stomach I'll try it tomorrow before breakfast upstairs Wiggs was dreaming of the dancing that she had given up forever and what Belvane was doing I really don't know End of Chapter 14 Recording by Patty Cunningham Chapter 15 of Once on a Time This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Once on a Time by A. A. Milne Chapter 15 There is a lover waiting for Hyacinth So the next morning before breakfast Wiggs went up onto the castle walls and wished She looked over the meadows and across the peaceful stream that wandered through them to the forest where she had met her fairy and she gave a little sigh Goodbye dancing she said Please I was a very good girl all yesterday and I wish that Prince Udo may be well again For a full minute there was silence Then from the direction of Udo's room below there came these remarkable words Take the beastly stuff away and bring me a beef steak and a flagon of sack Between smiles and tears Wiggs murmured He sounds all right but she was no longer She hurried down and out of the palace away away from Udo and the princess and the Countess and all their talk to the cool friendly forest there to be alone and to think over all that she had lost It was very quiet in the forest At the foot of her own favorite tree a veteran of many hundred summers who stood sentinel over an open glade that dipped to a gurgling brook and climbed gently away from it she sat down as if she had danced an enchanted place and now Never, never, never How long had she sat there It must have been a long time because the forest had been so quiet and now it was so full of sound The trees were murmuring something to her and the birds were singing it and the brook was trying to tell it too but it would keep chuckling over the very idea so that you could hardly hear Get up, get up Everything was calling to her Dance, dance She got up a little frightened Everything seemed so strangely beautiful She had never felt like this before Yes, she would dance She must say Thank you for all this somehow Perhaps they would excuse her if it was not very well expressed This will just be for thank you She said as she got up I shall never dance again Thank you, Hyacinth There is a lover waiting for you somewhere, my dear It is the first of spring The blackbird opens his yellow beak and whistles cool and clear There is blue magic in the morning The sky, deep blue above melts into white where it meets the hills The wind waits for you up yonder Will you go to meet it? Ah, stay here The hedges have put on their green coats for you Misty green are the tall elms from which the rooks are chattering Along the clean white road between the primrose banks he comes Will you be round this corner or the next? He is looking for you, Hyacinth She rested, breathless and then danced again It is summer afternoon All the village is at rest, save one Cuckoo comes from the deep dark trees Cuckoo, he calls again and flies away to send back the answer The fields, all green and gold sleep undisturbed by the full river which creeps along them The air is heavy with the scent of May Where are you, Hyacinth? Is not this the tristing place? I have waited for you so long She stopped and the watcher in the bushes moves silently away His mind aflame with fancies Wigs went back to the palace to tell everybody that she could dance Shall we tell her how it happened? said Udo Jontely She recited a couple of lines Poetry, you know Backwards and Well, here I am said Wigs End of Chapter 15