 This evening is a good wife, or I guess I could have called it a good husband, but basically the trick to finding a good spouse. So tonight we're going to look at the marriages in the book Pride and Prejudice. I'm going to look at the four, there's four marriages in the book. All right, there's four marriages detailed in the book. Obviously some are given more attention than others, but there's four marriages that are listed out in this novel. What I'm going to do is I'm going to go through those four marriages. I'm going to, no look, these are, these are, this is a fictional story. These are secular marriages. This isn't, they're not spiritual goals by any means that are met, but I'm going to give you biblical examples of the types of marriages of each of these four marriages. There is Bible examples that we can go and look at, and I'm going to look at the bad in these marriages and the good in these marriages, because there's two that I would classify as bad, and there's two that I would classify as good. Now obviously if we're looking at things from a spiritual light, they're all bad. All right, so I get that, but we're going to just kind of look at some biblical patterns that we can find in these four marriages, and then I'm going to give you the trick to finding a good spouse. So I'm going to give you the, the biblical answer to how we can as a young single, how you can as young single people, I'm neither young nor single, but as a young single people, how you can find a good spouse, and it's pretty much a guaranteed trick from the Bible. All right, so what are the four marriages in this book that I'm referring to tonight? The first one is Miss Charlotte Lucas who marries Mr. Collins, right, and the second one is Lydia Bennett who marries Mr. George Wickham. That's the second marriage. Those two marriages I would consider in the bad category. All right, those are not marriages that should be modeled or characterized, or we should be, you know, trying to mimic in any way, right? I'm going to tell you why in just a few minutes, but then the third marriage is Jane Bennett to Mr. Bingley, and then, of course, Elizabeth to Elizabeth Bennett to Mr. Darcy. So again, too bad and too good. If we're looking at it from a spiritual biblical perspective, they were all bad. I get that this isn't a spiritual book, but I'm going to tell you the bad things about the two marriages and then tell you the good things about the last two marriages and give you some Bible examples and then show you how all of those marriages kind of point to the biblical trick of finding a good spouse as a young person. All right, so turn to Genesis chapter 29. Let's look at Charlotte Lucas and her marrying Mr. Collins. The first category of marriage here, we're going to have a little bit of fun with this one, but you're going to know when I tell you these categories that I've put these into, you're going to be able to think of people that you know that have, you know, entered into marriages like this, or people that you know, or people that you're related to, or people that you know people that know people. So the first one is this. Ms. Charlotte Lucas, of course, in the story, she marries this goofball, this weird guy, kind of this, I don't know, kind of this creeper or whatever you would call him, this strange man, Mr. Collins. He's looking for, he's actually a preacher, you know, but he's not a biblical preacher. We'll just leave that one alone, but she marries him, she agrees to marry him after he's basically going through this line of girls asking them to marry him, and he's just getting rejected left and right, and Elizabeth Bennett rejects him, and it just turns out that Charlotte Lucas, she just wants to marry somebody, right? So this is a marriage of desperation is what this is, right? This is a marriage where she explains to her friend Elizabeth, she says, well, you know, I'm in my late 20s, I have no one to get married, I'm a burden to my parents, I just like she is just in panic mode that she needs to be married, all right? Look at Genesis chapter 29, look at verse number 20. So the first marriage that we want to actually avoid as young people is a marriage of desperation, a marriage of necessity, all right? Look at verse number 20, and let's look at this story of Jacob where he's trying to marry Rachel, and he's, of course, working for this man, he makes a deal with this man that he will work for him for seven years to marry his daughter, Rachel, and, you know, Laban pulls a fast one on him here, look at verse number 20, it says, and Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed unto him but a few days for the love he had to her, and Jacob said unto Laban, give me my wife for my days are fulfilled that I may go in unto her, and Laban gathered together all the men of the place and made a feast, and it came to pass in the evening that he took Leah, his daughter, and brought her to him, and he went in unto her, and Laban gave unto his daughter Leah, Zilpa, his maid for a handmade, and it came to pass that in the morning behold it was Leah, and he said to Laban, why has this thou done unto me? Did not I serve thee for Rachel? Wherefore, then, hast thou beguiled me? And Laban said, it must not be done so in our country to give the younger before the firstborn. So Laban kind of pulls a marriage of desperation for his oldest daughter, Leah here. What he does is he switches the two, he pulls a fast one on Jacob, and instead, you know, Jacob accidentally marries the wrong woman here. But he's saying, you know, the older daughter, so he, Laban was kind of panicking for his daughter in this story. Leah, Leah was older than Rachel, and he says, it's not right that, you know, the younger should be married before the older. So he kind of panics, and he, you know, pulls this fast one on, on Jacob. Now, we see some, some comparisons here. We see some comparisons because, you know, Miss Lucas, Charlotte Lucas married this foolish or ridiculous person, Mr. Collins, but she also had a foolish father. And here we see that Leah herself also had a father who was not an honest person. Laban was a trickster. He was not honest. He was constantly changing the deal. So fathers that do stupid and foolish things are not going to be good for their daughters. That's the, you know, that's the lesson that we can take from the Bible there. Now, let's look at Lydia. Let's look at the second bad marriage here in the book. Let's look at Lydia marrying this bad guy, Mr. George Wickham. I mean, a lot of people think, you know, and you look, you got to, you got to read the book, because the movie does not do this justice. The movie doesn't do the situation with these two justice. But turn to First Kings chapter 21. This is a perfect example. And you're not going to get this if you watch the movie, you will get it if you watch the book though. But what you have to understand is that bad people or people of low moral character tend to find each other. That's what you're going to find. Bible actually says in Galatians chapter six, you know, that a man will reap what he sows. You will reap what you sow. If you're in the spirit, you're going to sow, you're going to reap of the spirit. If you're in the flesh, you're going to reap of the flesh. That's exactly what happened in this situation with Lydia and George Wickham. This is a, this guy was a fornicating liar. He was a gambler. He was a thief. He was this person that had to keep moving from town to town. And she just falls desperately, you know, in love with him. And, you know, you get what you pay for. Let's put it that way. All right. Look at First Kings chapter 21. Let's look at an example of bad people finding each other in marriage in the Bible. Look at verse number one. It says, and it came to pass after these things that Naboth the Jezreelite had a vineyard, which was in Jezreel and had it hard by the palace of, it was within Jezreel, hard by the palace of Ahab king of Syria. So here we have a story of Ahab and this man Naboth who's got this vineyard. And Ahab spoke unto Naboth saying, Give me thy vineyard, that I may have it for a garden of herbs, because it's near unto my house. And I will give it thee for a better vineyard than it. If it seemed good to thee, I will give thee the worth of it in money. And Naboth said to Ahab, the Lord forbid at me that I should give the inheritance of my fathers unto thee. So, and this is such a common thing by the way, too. Somebody wants to buy a piece of land and it's like, no, no, no, that's been on my family for this many years and whatever. But anyway, Ahab wants to buy this chunk of land. And this guy doesn't want to sell it to him. And Ahab is the king and he's a bad king. He's a wicked king. Look at verse four. Ahab came into his house, heavy and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him. For he had said, I will not give thee the inheritance of my fathers. And he laid him down upon his bed and turned away his face and would eat no bread. So Ahab's throwing a fit. He's pouting because he can't get what he wants. He's acting like a three-year-old. Now look at this. But Jezebel, his wife came into him and said, look, it's Naboth's vineyard. It's not right for you to covet that vineyard. And she opens the Bible and she just starts teaching him the Bible on how what he's doing is morally wrong according to the word of God. No, no, no, no. That's not what she does at all. She's just as bad. She's probably worse than him. But proving my point that bad wicked people tend to find each other. Bad wicked people, they're kind of like magnets. They just kind of come together and they find each other. And that's the case here. Look at what Jezebel, his wife, comes to him. I'm thankful. Hopefully you married men tonight. Sometimes I'll have an idea that's really not that good. But for some reason, I'll just think like, hey, I got this idea, and we could do this and this. And then my wife will be like, well, what about, and I'm like, oh, yeah, all right, I get it. So it's kind of nice to have that counsel. But look, if you're a bad person and you marry a bad person, it's like gasoline and fire. My wife makes me better. No, his wife makes him worse. All right, much worse. Look at this in verse number six. Jezebel, his wife, verse five came and said unto him, why is thy spirit so sad that thou eatest no bread? And he said unto her, because I spake unto Nabath the Jezreelite, and said unto him, Give me thy vineyard for money, or else if it pleases thee, I'll give thee another vineyard for it. And he answered, I will not give thee my vineyard. And Jezebel, his wife, said unto him, Does not now govern the kingdom of Israel? Arise and eat bread and let thine heart be merry. I will give thee the vineyard of Nabath the Jezreelite. So she's saying, you're the king. She's like, you're the king. You can do whatever you want. If you're, if you know, that's not good advice, wives, to give to your husbands just for the record. All right, you're the head of this how you could just do whatever you want no matter what the Bible says. And Jezebel, his wife, also she wrote letters verse eight in Ahab's name and sealed them with his seal and sent the letters unto the elders and to the nobles that were in his city dwelling in Nabath. And she wrote in the letters saying, Proclaim it fast and set Nabath on high among the people. And set two men, sons of Belial, before him to bear witness against him, saying, Thou didst blaspheme God and the king, and then carry him out and stone him that he may die. So, I mean, she basically falsely accuses this guy, hires people to witness against him, and gets the man killed, right? So, you know, she's going to get the vineyard for her husband through murder and deceit. So anyway, a terrible, terrible person here. But the point I'm trying to get is that this is a bad marriage. This is a marriage where somebody, a very bad character, found somebody, a very bad character, and they got married and they made each other worse. And this is, you know, maybe Lydia and George Wickham were not murderers and to the level of Ahab and Jezebel. But the point is they were both people of bad character. One thing in the book that you will miss if you just watched the movie is that basically George Wickham takes Lydia and runs off with her in fornication. And it is this huge disaster where all these men in the family, her father and her uncle are looking for her. This is of course where Mr. Darcy comes in and saves the day. But it's a, first of all, it's a big deal that fornication was happening because it was too, one of the things I like about it is that just how big of a deal fornication was made at that time. And it was like everyone in the family was horrified, especially her siblings, because they were going to be ruined. Their reputation was going to be ruined. I mean, there was real shame that you could feel here. But one thing that you will miss if you didn't read the book is this. It looks like in the movie that Darcy went and found them and just quickly got them married. And a lot of people will look at that and say, well, this Wickham's a bad guy. I mean, should she have married him? Should they have gotten married? In the book, you do see this detail that he tried to get Lydia to come away from him. He tried, Mr. Darcy tried to get Lydia from this wicked man, and she would not leave. So in that case, they went and they got married. All right, so look, she was a person of bad character herself. She was bad herself. And you find out, look, here's another thing that you'll see with bad people, because a lot of people think that all these bad people, they find each other, and then they're going to go off and they're going to be happy together. That never happens. I'm not talking about just marriage. I'm talking about friendships that are bad. I'm talking about, look, the Bible says that friends should sharpen each other. A man should sharpen the countenance of his friend. If you have a friend who's a, if you're a Bible believing Christian and you have a friend who wants to do something bad or do something stupid, you should sharpen that friend. You shouldn't just be like the kind of friend who thinks that just because you're friends with somebody or your brothers and sisters in Christ, that everything that they do and come and tell you is just a great idea. I mean, what is the point of having Christian friends if you're just not going to sharpen each other? Just, if you're just going to sit there and just lie to each other's faces and just tell every, oh, that's just everything that my friend says is a great idea. Like, that's dulling your friend. That's not being a good friend. But that's just point of bad people. A lot of people think that, oh, bad people, they group up because they do. And they're going to group up and they're going to go off and they're going to be happy bad people together. But that's never the case. They're going to go off and you know what, just like this marriage, they're going to go off and they're going to be miserable together. They're going to be miserable. They're going to turn on each other just like they turned on everybody else. They're not going to have, this marriage was not good. I mean, the book details out how this marriage ended up and, you know, it was just, it was a disaster. They didn't have any money. They were constantly moving around and, like, they were living this terrible life because there were terrible people. You know? And so, don't listen to counsel and that's what happens to you. So, those are the two bad marriages. All right? Those are the two bad marriages. Now, turn to, turn to Ruth, turn to Ruth chapter three and we'll get there in just a couple of minutes. But, I mean, all that to say this, the bad marriages kind of point out the point I'm going to head at with the good marriages too is that a man and a woman, they will marry their equal, whether that be, whether that be good or whether that be bad. All right? So, hopefully you're kind of starting, the wheels are turning, you're starting to see the answer here. I mean, Elizabeth was a perfect example. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy was a perfect example of this. You see Mr. Darcy at the beginning of the movie, he's talking about how, you know, his standards for a young lady are so high and the lady's not accomplished, quote unquote, unless she has all these boxes checked and all these different things. And then, you know, Elizabeth was very much the same way though. Every single person she looked at, every man she looked at, she was cynical towards, she was constantly ridiculing and making fun of what she called ridiculous men, right? Like she's making fun of Mr. Collins because he's ridiculous, right? Mr., you know, Sir William Lucas, Charlotte's dad, you know, she was finding ridicule everywhere because she had this high standard of what a man should be and the same thing with Mr. Darcy had a high standard of what a woman should be. These weren't biblical standards, I get that. But what I'm getting to understand is that people will find their equals. People will find their equals. And with Lydia and Mr. Wickham, it was low common denominator equals. It was bad character equals and they ignored all counsel. So, you're starting to see that the trick to finding a spouse is themselves, is the people themselves. Because here is what I want to show you. I mean, Elizabeth, Darcy, you know, he liked the fact and he started to really like the fact about Elizabeth that she was a thinking person, that she was a thinking person, she questioned things. And look, I can relate to this because I like this about my wife. There may be men out there and I'm not against this, that want a wife that just never gives her opinion and just kind of has her head down and just that's how she rolls or whatever and those marriages can work and that's fine. But I like the fact that my wife has a mind and an opinion. I like that. It helps me in my life. I like to bounce things off of her. And obviously, you know, she is a respectful wife and she's never like, if I have a bad idea, she's not like, that's dumb idiot. You know, I mean, you know, obviously these things are done in respect, but the point is, I can kind of relate to the Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth situation because I like that about my marriage, right? It helps, I mean, the way I look at it, it helps protect me. It helps protect me from myself in many ways, alright? So look, people will marry their equals. Hopefully you see that where I'm heading with this. Now here's the trick to finding a spouse and then we're going to look at the good marriage and an example of the good marriage in the Bible. But here's the trick, folks, young people, single people. Here's the trick to finding a spouse. The first thing is this, God wants you to find a spouse. So that's the first thing. God's on your side. So you're already, you're a head out of the gates, right there. Turn to Genesis chapter 2. Turn to Genesis chapter 2. I'm going to read for you Proverbs 18, 22. God wants you to find a spouse. Proverbs 18, 22. So who so findeth a wife? Findeth a good thing and obtain a favor of the Lord. Look at Genesis chapter 2 in verse number 18. Genesis chapter 2 in verse number 18 the Bible says, and the Lord God said, it is not good that a man should be alone. I will make an helpmate for him. So God, if you're like I'm a single man, I'm alone, guess what? God doesn't want you to be alone. God made, you know, a woman out there for you somewhere and he's on your side. Turn to Proverbs chapter 19. Proverbs chapter 19. I'm going to read for you Proverbs 31. The Bible says in Proverbs 31 as you're turning to Proverbs 19, who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies? And the Bible here is saying that a virtuous woman, a woman of good character, by the way the only woman that is actually called a virtuous woman in the Bible is Ruth. Not to say she's not the only virtuous woman in the Bible, obviously not, but Ruth is called a virtuous woman in Ruth chapter 3 that we're going to look at in just a few minutes. And the Bible says that is a very valuable thing if you find a virtuous woman to marry. Look at Proverbs 1914. The Bible says in Proverbs 1914, house and riches are the inheritance of fathers and a prudent wife is from the Lord. So the first thing is God is on your side and he wants you to find a good one. He wants you to find a prudent one, he wants you to find a virtuous one, but go back to Proverbs chapter 12. You do need to keep in mind that it's possible to find a bad one. They're out there, all right? Look at Proverbs chapter 12, look at verse number 4. The Bible says in Proverbs 12, 4, a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that maketh ashamed is rottenness in his bones. Putting forth, I mean this idea that, look, God wants you to have a virtuous prudent wife. He's on your side. So if you're a young single man, God's with you, all right? So the answer for the desperate person is this. I mean, first of all, it's something that wants you to have, so why would you be desperate? Let that sink in for a second. Why would you ever be desperate or panicked for something that God wants you to have? God wants you to have a wife. Same thing with the young ladies. God wants you to find a good husband. So it should not happen. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 7. It would be better, listen to me closely, it would be better to remain single than to marry out of desperation. Definitely. Even Paul says this, look at 1 Corinthians chapter 7, look at verse number 32. 1 Corinthians chapter 7, verse number 32, the Bible says, or Paul says, Paul does this, he kind of flips this both ways, but let's just read 32 and 33, where the Bible says, but I would have you without carefulness, he that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord. Talking about a single, a single guy, like all he has to focus on is the Lord, that's it. But then in verse 33 it says he that is married, carried care for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. So here the Bible is saying that, this is why Paul says, you know, I would that men would be like me. Paul's just like, I could not go into fornication and I can just serve the Lord with my life. He's like, but you know, it'd be better, it's better to get to marry than to burn, than to go into fornication is what he's saying. So he's saying that you can be more spiritual and more focused on the Lord when you're single. But you know, a wife is a good thing, but then you're going to have, you know, I have to take care of my wife and also you should still remain spiritual. But he's just saying that you'll be more focused on the Lord. So look, instead of being desperate and marrying somebody who's bad or somebody you don't know or somebody who's a risk or not spiritual or whatever, it would be better to just focus on the Lord. It would be better to just focus on your spiritual life, which turns out, turn to Psalm chapter 37, which is interesting because that's exactly the answer that God gives on how to find a spouse in the first place. You say, how could I find a spouse? God wants me to have one, but how do I find one? We'll get Psalm 37. So knowing in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 that a single person is able to be much more focused on the Lord, so look, I mean, I hate to break it to you single guys and single ladies, especially single guys, because most of the single ladies are going to be living with their parents. But if you can't make it to church and be spiritual when you're single, you have no chance when you're married. None! So 1 Corinthians chapter 7 is saying, hey, at least when you're single you could be focused on the Lord. Now look at Psalm 37 and verse number 4. Psalm 37 verse number 4. How can God answer my prayers? I want a wife, I want to be married. It's something that's just, it's the first thing that is on my mind right now and I want to be married in my life. How can I do that? How can I get God to give me what? Answer that prayer for me when the Bible says that's what he wants me to have. Look at verse 4. Delight thyself also in the Lord and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. So the Bible here is saying be spiritual. It's saying men, young men, it's saying get ready to be the husband. Prove to God that you can be the husband that the Bible says you should be. Show God that you can do that. Don't be some young man who's just a trainwreck and has nothing together, isn't spiritual and then be like God I want a wife. I want a relationship with a woman. I want a wife. Give me a wife because guess what? God loves the young ladies too. He doesn't want to give some young lady to a George Wickham, some man that has no character and that's going to ruin her life because he wants, he loves the young ladies just as much as he loves the young men. So the Bible here is saying delight thyself also in the Lord, be spiritual yourself. Be spiritual, focus on yourself. Do the things necessary to prepare yourself to be that husband. Women, young ladies, it's the same thing. Focus on being, you know, focus on the Lord, focus on church, focus on soul winning, focus on being that meek and quiet spirit that helped meet to your parents. You know, so you can be ready to be that to a husband. Now look, I mean, I'm going to offend some people here, but that's okay. The fact is that you see many more in the crowds that we run in today. I think that this is maybe under reported, but it's obvious everybody sees it. You see many more spiritual young men than you do see spiritual young women. It's just a fact. I'm not saying that every spiritual young man is ready to be married. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying that every spiritual young man is ready to support a family and has everything together and all those things, but you definitely, you go to a conference where they have a singles event or whatever and you will find it is 10 to 1 young men to young ladies. You say, why is that? Why is that? Now I think that, you know, we see some of the reason why that is in this story, in the story. The first answer is this, they're weaker vessels. Women, young ladies especially, are weaker vessels in 1 Peter chapter 3. It talks about how this is why when Satan attacks the family he will attack the women. He will attack the children because they're weaker vessels. I don't mean to offend, you know, you ladies, but you are not as strong emotionally and you're not as strong physically and you're not as strong many times spiritually as your husband at least should be. The husband should be the spiritually strong one, the spiritually strongest one, the physically strongest one, the emotionally strongest one and quite frankly because of this the attacks of the world are affecting young women today more than they, more than they should. Feminism, all these wicked anti-biblical philosophies being pushed on girls destroying women today, unfortunately, are doing the trick. That's why you will see less young ladies in Bible believing churches, you know, wanting to have a spiritual life and look, wherever women fail you will find a man that has failed. Just like feminism itself, you know, so everyone's like, yeah, get the ungodly women, yeah, but guess what? It's the father's fault. It is a lack of leadership by a biblical father that would let his daughter be taken into that wicked garbage and that's what's happening, look, it doesn't make me happy to report this, that's what's happening to women today. Look, young women today are being destroyed by the, by this fornication culture, by this, by this university culture, by this anti-marriage culture, by this, you have to have a career culture, you know what, and you know what, they're going to wake up when they're 50 and they're going to know that they were lied to. They're going to know that they ruin their lives, they ruin their chances to be a mother, to be a godly wife, they're going to, they're going to realize one day, they're being lied to. But look, just like feminism was a failure of men to lead, oh, a young lady that is destroyed by the philosophies of the world, her father failed to lead, and that, that's what you see with these two young ladies, with these two young ladies that made these horrible decisions on marriages in the story, number one, again, the book only does this justice, but Sir William Lucas was a fool, he was a ridiculous fool, and here his daughter just went and made this, this bad decision on, on who she was going to marry, but more importantly, Lydia, Lydia's father was completely checked out, and the book character of Mr. Bennet and the movie character are very different, because if you watch the movie, Mr. Bennet is kind of this loving guy, he's kind of like, oh, he's got a crazy wife and you kind of feel bad for Mr. Bennet, but truly in the story itself, Elizabeth herself said she resented her father because why he was checked out of the family, he was checked, he was checked out, Elizabeth and Jane only made it because they decided to have some character on their own, the father was just, he was checked out, and look, three, three out of the, three out of the five, you know, we're going in the wrong direction, but he was completely checked out of the family, so that's why you'll see that with spiritual young ladies, it's, it's a sad situation, so look, the answer is be spiritual, be spiritual, pray to find someone spiritual and then accept no less, that's the answer for men, for young men and young women, now turn to, are you in Ruth chapter 3, I've been telling you to go there and then telling you to go other places, let me give you an example of marrying well and how a person's character mattered and who they got married to, and that was the case with, with Jane and Elizabeth, look at Ruth chapter 3, so what is the story here, what is the story, so Ruth comes back to Israel with her mother-in-law, her mother-in-law's husband has died and she's taking care of, so it's just these two women, it's Ruth and Naomi and Ruth is out there and she's working and she's just trying to provide for her mother-in-law and she's, she's showing herself to be a certain type of character and people are noticing the things that Ruth does, and if you read the story up to, it's a short story, if you read Ruth chapter 1, Ruth chapter 2, you would just look at those stories and you would say, yeah, she's a hard worker, she's a really hard worker, but Boaz here gives some more insight into the character and what people actually saw when they saw Ruth, and just the testimony that Ruth gave of herself through what, through the things that she did and the things that she didn't do, look down at Ruth chapter 3, so Ruth is kind of a unique story here, she kind of asked Boaz to marry her, she's kind of like, well, you know, you're the next of kinsmen and typically if a woman's husband would die the next kinsmen, the brother would marry and take care of that widow, but she's asking him, he's not a married man, she's asking him if he would marry her, he would take care of her basically, and by marrying her, look at verse number 10, this is his answer, and he said, Blessed be thou of the Lord my daughter, for thou hast showed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning in so much as thou followest not young men whether poor or rich, notice what he just said right there, he just said, he's like, you have shown such good character, you know what he said, he's like, you're not a Lydia, you're not a Lydia that's running around just chasing every officer or every young boy or every person that's good looking, or you're not out there chasing men for their money, he's saying, you've showed your character here, he's saying, you're not a shallow young lady, is what he is testifying to Ruth, you're not out there, and look, you'll see this with shallow young girls, and again, I'm gonna tell you where the failure is here, I mean, how many of you have known a young girl in her teens who just throws attention at any young man that comes her way, any young man that comes in the room, comes in the area, comes in the church, whatever, they just throw their attention at any young man that comes her way, this is a person of shallow character, this is a Lydia, and Boaz is literally saying about Ruth, who he calls a virtuous woman, that I've noticed that you're not like this, I've noticed that you haven't done that, but guess what, you know what that's caused by? Again, that's caused by a lack of involvement from the fathers, that is a girl who is seeking male attention, this is why the fathers, you say, well, you know, you have two boys, and you like to hunt and fish and work on things and all this, but it is just as important as I spend time with my daughter, because she needs to have a good relationship with her dad, girls need to have a good relationship with their father, so they aren't going out and just seeking attention from any young person, and where was Lydia's father completely checked out? But you know what, she needed attention, and if she would have had a father who was involved in her life, she wouldn't have been this shallow young lady that was just chasing every boy that came within 20 miles, and then would have ended up with some loser. I mean, I don't know how many times I have to, I mean, see, this story replayed. I mean, I knew this girl who had this friend, and I won't mention any names, and this friend of this girl that I knew, she would only date losers, and I'm just like, what's the problem? Like, she was a nice, she was nice, she was, there was nothing wrong with this girl, and she just wouldn't even look at a guy unless he was ready to go to prison or something. It was crazy, it was crazy, and if there was some nice guy that came along, she just had no interest, but you know what, you know what I know now? There's a woman with father problems right there. Every single time, they're seeking attention from the wrong places. Really, this is against fathers, this sermon, really. It's against fathers that aren't involved, and how, I mean, look, a father that is not involved, this just shows you how important leadership is. A father that is not involved will ruin everyone in the family. A father that isn't following the Bible will destroy everything, so guys, young men, get it together, figure out what the responsibility of a father is in the Bible before you even find someone to marry. That will motivate God to answer those prayers that you are seeking. Look at verse number 11. And now my daughter, fear not, I will do to thee all that thou requires. He says, I will marry you. He says, for all of the city, my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman. He says, everybody knows. Everybody knows the type of woman that you are. Of course, I will marry you. The Boaz, I mean, what does that say Boaz would have said if she was this flirtatious, chasing after money, chasing after any guy that walked by? He wouldn't have said any of that. He would have run the other way. So the point is this. Here's the key takeaway on these four marriages. You wanna marry well, it seems counterintuitive, but if you want to marry well, you have to work on yourself. That is the key. Then you pray, you work on yourself, then you pray that God would provide you a wife or provide you a husband, and God will take care of the rest. You're like, it's that simple? It is that simple. You're like, but there's not enough young ladies. All you need is one. There doesn't have to be 20 at the conference. There only needs to be one. Work on yourself and prove to God that you are ready for such a responsibility because it is such a responsibility. And he will take care of the rest. See, people are looking for marriages tend to focus in the wrong direction. The guys, they put all the focus on the girls, and just they just nitpick everything about the girls, and the girls put all the focus on the guys, and the guys say, oh, there's no good girls out there to marry, and the girls say, there's no good guys out there to marry, but the answer is yourself. The answer is work on yourself, and God will provide. And we see that, look, we see that with these secular stories in the Bible. And the Bible tells us that God wants you to be married, be the person that God wants you to be when you're married, pray, and it's definitely a prayer. There's certain prayers that you know God's gonna answer. It's definitely a prayer God will answer. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.