 Crowd presents the great Gildersleeve. A big starring Harold Perry brought to you by crowd, makers of parquet margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products. Starts tomorrow, and I want you to get to bed early. You need your sleep. Store up a little energy, my boy. You can't learn arithmetic without energy. Arithmetic? I ask you, what good is arithmetic gonna be to me in later life? Arithmetic is of great practical value. I use it everyday. I must have learned just about all the arithmetic there is. I've been studying it all my life. Why can't I quit school and start getting the benefits? Lee Roy, let's not have any more of this nonsense. You'll go to school tomorrow, whether you like it or not. And you'd better decide to like it. Well, we'll see about that. But before we do, here's a special message from Kraft. Whether you're having roast and ears of corn fresh from the glowing embers of a campfire, a stack of golden brown pancakes hot off the griddle, or just a plain slice of bread, it's the spread that makes all these good foods extra fine eating. And here's a spread that millions prefer for its delicious flavor. Parquet margarine, made by Kraft. Parquet is a favorite from coast to coast because its fresh, delicate flavor is still unmatched. Try spreading parquet on an ear of roasting corn. Find how delicious it tastes melted into a golden waffle. And remember, parquet margarine is always delicious and satisfying spread on bread, rolls, and muffins. So buy flavor fresh economical parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine from your food dealer tomorrow. It's made by Kraft. Now let's return to the great gilder slave and his nephew, Lee Roy, whom we find in a silent deadlock over the question of going to the movies tonight. Huh, be joining the family for a while? I thought I might. Say, Anki. What is it, my dear? Oh, never mind. Hi, George. It's nice to have one of you kids grown up. Huh. Are you glad to be getting back to school tomorrow, Marjorie? Not particularly. Ha! That will do, Lee Roy. What's this, my dear? You've always been glad to go back to school? Summer feel high as awfully dead. Well, it's a very good school. Fine educational standards, good teachers, and good equipment. It's dead, just the same. Do I have to go there? Marjorie, I don't understand you. What's come over you? Oh, nothing. I know. You do not. Oh, yes, I do. She says it's going to be dead because Marshall Bullard isn't going to be there. Marshall Bullard's going away to school. Oh, shut up. I thought so. Oh, shut up. Now, children, is Marshall Bullard going away to school, my dear? Mm-hmm. He's going to prep school on the east. What the devil for? So he can go to an eastern college. It's the only way. Well, if the Bullards want to throw their money away, trying to squeeze their boy into Yale or Princeton through the back door, that's their foolishness. It has nothing to do with you. There are lots of nice girl schools in the east. Yes, and they can stay there, and you can stay here. Can I go to Culver, Uncle? Culver, no. In case there should be another war, I could be an officer. There isn't going to be another war, and you're going to the Summerfield Grammar School. But if I went to- And you're going to the Summerfield High School. Can I go to the movies? You go to bed. Uncle Mort, do you think I- You too. Heaven's sake. It doesn't matter with you children. Ain't either one of you even touched your cereal? Sorry, Bertie. What's the matter? Has the cream seen better days? No, the cream's okay. Well, I can't let you run off to school with nothing inside you. You want some eggs? No, thanks. No, thanks, Bertie. Glad it seems like this family gets crazy every day. Oh, good morning, Miss Gislees. Well, good morning, Bertie. Good morning, children. Hi. Good morning, Uncle. I'm glad to see you properly washed and combed, my boy. That's a treat I haven't had very often during your vacation. Oh, quit picking on me. Haven't I got enough trouble? What trouble have you got that I haven't got? I got old lady McCann. That's what I got. I'm in her room this year. Did you ever have McCann? No. What's the matter with Miss McCann, LeRoy? She's the worst teacher in the school. That's all. Talk about hard markers. Oh, now, LeRoy. She's not only a hard marker, but she has pets. LeRoy, that's just superstition. There's no such thing as a hard marker. And this whole notion of pets is ridiculous. Every teacher tries to be fair. Are you kidding? What about the time old lady Cowley made me stay after school and write, I am a mischief maker 500 times? Wasn't me to put the mouse in her pocketbook? No, but, Arthur, I bet you thought it was a good idea. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I think it was a pretty good idea myself, my boy. It worked out pretty good. For everybody but me. If anybody ever pulled anything like that with old lady McCann, what? She's got a piece of rubber hose in her closet. She beats you with it if you do the least little thing. Oh, nonsense. You can ask any kid in the school. Hey, Al, what time is it? Huh? Let me see. You'll have to hurry, my boy. It's quarter of nine right now. Oh, gosh, McCann probably murders you if you're tardy. Hey, where's my report card? I left it right here last night. What does it look like? Like any report card. I'd have to have it to show I got promoted. It's on the mantelpiece and the parlor. Yeah? Gee, thanks a lot, Mark. Well, yes, I have. I have to have it, Uncle. Write down the stuff we have to get. Thanks. Say, can I have some money? Money, what for? To buy tablets and notebooks and all that. How much? Well, everybody but me has a loose-leaf notebook. The ones with the three-holes are best. They cost 25 cents more, but they're the best. Why are they the best? Because that's the kind everybody has. And if you're out of paper, you can borrow some three-hole, but nobody's got any two-holes or you're dead. Yes. About a buck and a quarter will cover everything, Uncle. Here's a dollar, and I'll run along. But a dollar is a... Oh, come on, LeRoy. I will be late. Oh, for corn, Craig. Come in. The door's open. LeRoy, we don't know who that might be. We know now, Craig Bullard. Get out of here, Craig. I can't play. I've got to go to school. I want to go to school with you. Now, Craig, I'm afraid you'll have to stay home and play by yourself. Craig's starting school today. I want LeRoy to go to school with me. Get out of here. Wait a minute, LeRoy. I promised Mrs. Bullard yesterday that you'd take Craig to kindergarten this morning. What? Why doesn't she take him? Because Craig said he'd rather go with you. I want to go to school with you, LeRoy. Well, come on then, but you'll have to run. Boy, how did go today? How was school? Oh, everything was fine. Huh? I'm just finishing up my homework. A theme I have to hand in tomorrow. Homework the first day? Isn't that unusual? Well, maybe, but I don't mind. You haven't got a fever, have you, LeRoy? Oh, no, I feel fine. What's the subject of your theme? How I spent my vacation. I'm writing a pip. Five pages already. You don't say. Bye, George. How do you spell patriotic, Uncle? Never mind. I'll look it up in the dictionary. Yes, that's a much better system. You'll remember it longer that way. P-A-T-R-I-O-T-I-C. That's what I thought. Well, I'm all finished. You want to hear it? Uh, five pages, you say? Well, four and a half. Won't take long to read. I write pretty big. Suppose you start reading it and we'll see. Okay. My vacation by LeRoy Forester. That's the title. I see. Well, get to the meet LeRoy Forester. Okay. My vacation in the summer of 1945 was not only enjoyable, but useful. During the summer, I tried to relax in order to prepare to return to school in the fall. That is one purpose of a vacation, and I was very anxious to be full of enthusiasm by September. I relaxed by playing baseball, swimming, hikes, and other amusements. My second purpose was to make my vacation useful. Our country needed surplus fats, oils, and waste paper since we were at war at that time. I collected these objects and gave them to the people in charge, so my vacation was therefore enjoyable, useful, and patriotic. That's all. How do you like it? My boy, I think Miss McCann must be a very remarkable woman. Who? Your teacher. If she's produced this magical effect simply with the length of rubber hose, I'm going out and cut myself a piece of it right now. Oh, you're talking about old Lady McCann. We didn't have her. We had a new teacher, Miss Wynne. Oh? What's she like? She's a darn good teacher. She's super. She appointed me head monitor of the class. Well, how did that happen? Well, she didn't know anybody in the room, so she just took a chance. Yes, yes, yes. She says it means I have to be a model of department and a model student besides. You think you can handle all that? I'm sure gonna try. Gee, Miss Wynne is nice. Well, well... I'll answer it, Uncle. Hello? I never saw Leroy like this before. Yes, my boy. Say, young. What is it, Leroy? You all through with your homework? Not quite. I'm trying to finish my science report. Oh? And there's one question. I can't seem to find the answer in the dictionary or any of the kids' science books around here. Just ask your uncle, my boy. A year of physics and a year of chemistry in college ought to qualify me to handle your difficulty. Well, sure. All I want to know is, why is the air thinner at 15,000 feet than it is down here? Uh, why is it thinner? Yeah. Well, my boy, it's on account of the altitude. Is that all you know about it? That's all there is to it. Unless you want me to get into all kinds of complicated theories and details that you wouldn't understand. Okay, Uncle, thanks. I'll look it up in the library tomorrow morning. We'll now see here. You expecting anybody, Uncle? Nobody in particular, but I'll see who it is. A little late for you, isn't it? I want Leroy to play with me. Leroy's busy now, Craig. He's doing his homework for school. I want him to play with me. Am I a Craigie, old boy? How'd you like school today? I didn't like it at all. You want to play, Leroy? I can't now, Craigie. I've got to get ready for school tomorrow. Aw, what do you want to do that for? School stings. Well, I know how you feel, Craig. I used to feel just the same. But you'll get to your like school after a while. Now, you come by in the morning and I'll take you to kindergarten again. How's that? You come by about a quarter of a night, okay? Atta boy, Craigie. I'll see you in the morning. Good night. Leroy, I don't understand you. Well, Miss Winn says it's up to all the bigger fellas to be extra nice to the kids in kindergarten up. It's part of my job, that's all. Uh, I must be dreaming. The Great Gilder Sleeve will be back in just a moment. You know, from coast to coast, women are praising the fine, fresh flavor of parquet margarine. That's right. And here's a letter that proves the point. It's from Mrs. J. J. Keen of Chicago. Shall I read it? Yes, please do. I've tried several different spreads. Even the most expensive ones. But for my money, there's none that can match the delicious flavor of parquet margarine. It's just grand. And I know because I spread parquet on hot toast every morning. Sounds great. But does she say anything about the freshness, the delicacy of parquet's flavor? By sure. She says, our whole family likes parquet margarine because it always tastes so fresh and sweet. We like it too because it's so easy to spread. Thank you, Mrs. Keen, for all those nice things you've told us about parquet margarine. Of course, as you say, the amazing thing about parquet is that you get the fresh, delicate flavor, smooth texture, easy spreading, and the splendid food values too, for only about half the price of costly spreads. No wonder millions of homemakers are insisting on delicious economical parquet margarine. Try it soon. Tomorrow by parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine, made by Kraft. Now let's return to the great Gildersleeve, who has been entertaining Judge Hooker at dinner. Full of good food and goodwill, our host sits at the head of the table, beaming upon his little family and his old friend, the Judge. Judge, how about another helping of Pete's Shortcake there? Yes, Judge, how about it? No thank you, Bertie. It's simply delicious, but I couldn't. Oh, come on. Yeah, come on, Judge. It'll do you good. Oh, I'm sorry. Pete's Shortcake Horus, the first since Pearl Harbor. I know, Gildersleeve. That's real whipping cream. You're right out of the cow. I'm sorry, but if I... Shortcake won't get you, though. You'll have to throw it away if you don't eat it. You'll just go to waste. That's just what I'm afraid of, Bertie. I'm afraid if I do eat it, it'll go to my waist. Oh, brother. Minds me, how about you, Maura, that Pete's Shortcake? Oh, no thank you, Uncle Maura. Leroy? Leroy, I guess it's up to you. Uh, none for me. Thank you, Uncle. What? I never heard of a boy who didn't like Shortcake. It's not that, but I think I ought to hurry upstairs and get back to my homework. So if you'll excuse me... You're excused, my boy. You're excused. Now... Marge, don't come into my room and bother me, please. I'm going to be doing my homework. Who's bothering you? Uncle, tell her to keep out of my room. Who wants to go in your room? It's the last place in the world. Now, now, my dear. Run along, my boy. We'll see that you're not disturbed. Well, quite a change seems to have come over Leroy. I don't know how long I can stand in this way. Now, Marjorie, let's not discourage scholarship. We'll excuse you too, my dear, if you dare. Thank you. Cigar, Judge? Don't care for Jill. Yes, Horace. I'm actually beginning to believe that Leroy is grown up. That's the funny thing about children. One day they're children, and the next day they're grown up. And the next day they're children. Now, Judge, this has been going on for three days. It's a whole new attitude. For the first time, Leroy has begun to show real interest in his work. I'm beginning to think the boy has the makings of a scholar. Well, that's fine if it's true. I'm delighted to hear it. I'm even thinking of sending him to college. Every boy ought to go to college. After all, I'm a college man myself, graduate of a state university. I still think you ought to send him anyway. Judge, will you kindly be serious? I'm discussing your boy's future. I'm trying to plan his career. Well, you needn't talk as if you were the only college graduating. Wait in the rooms. Tell me, Horace, what do you suppose it costs to put a boy through college these days? You think I could swing it? Well, I'd say it depends. If Leroy's as smart as you say, he is. He's smart, all right. Most colleges have scholarships, you know. A scholarship? Now, why didn't I think of that? That's what I'll do. I'll get Leroy a scholarship. I'm afraid that's something Leroy'll have to get for himself, Gillette. Well, I'll help him. I'll coach him. Yes, I'll study with him. After all, as I say, I'm a college man. I do find that colleges changed a good deal since our day, Gillette. The requirements are tougher. All right, I'll get help. I might talk with his teacher about it, or his principal, Eve Goodwin. Yes, she'd be glad to help me outline a course of study for the boy. Well, Miss Goodwin might be able to help. Yes, yes, indeed. I might just run over there tomorrow evening. I haven't seen Eve all summer. Besides, I owe it to Leroy. Not very peavy. I'm out a little early. We had an early supper tonight. Oh, you're out for a stroll, you think? Not exactly. I'm making a call, but I'm not expected quite yet. Calling on a lady, probably? Well, as it happens, yes. I understand Mrs. Ransom won't be returning to town till next week. I'm calling on Miss Goodwin, if you must know. Oh. It's not what you think it is. I'm going there for a definite purpose. I'm not trying to say it. I'm just wrapped this parcel. I have to deliver a thermometer to a customer, Mrs. Snyder. She called up about it, said to rush it right over. Well, PV, I put down $25 in cash on an encyclopedia today. Did you say $25? $25. Did you say encyclopedia? Encyclopedia. 30 volumes. Special paper and special binding. The man's been after me for months. My goodness. Well, I guess I'd better get this thermometer over to Mrs. Snyder. PV, wait a minute. Yes? I said I bought an encyclopedia today. Yeah, I know. 30 volumes. Get everything in it from A to Z. Anything you want to know, it's in there. Handsomely illustrated, too. Over a thousand color plates. You see? Here's a sample volume man left with me. I have to return it. Just heft that. Mmm. Heavy. It's not light reading, either. Well, I guess I'd better run over to Mrs. Snyder. Wait a minute, PV. Look at the special tooling on that cover. That is tooling. You see, this is the first volume. A to AUK. That means it contains everything of any importance beginning with A. You see? You're looking here. Has it got about the atomic bomb? By what? The atomic bomb. Well, no. I don't suppose it has. Pretty important. I usually go by the Corn Hill home and ask myself, hasn't got everything, but it's got much need. I better get over there with this thermometer. Wait, PV. This is full of interesting stuff. For instance, did you know that the moon controls the tides? Well, when I called all that, had the phases of the moon and high and low tides for every day in the year. Names of all the presidents, too. Well... All right. Do you know how ants communicate with each other? You know who our comedies was. Go ahead. Who was our comedies? Sounds like a Greek. That's not a complete answer. You know which of the highest mountains in the Western Hemisphere? Must begin with A. The Andes. Do you know how long it'll take a railroad train traveling 60 miles an hour to reach the moon? I doubt that it would make it. That shows how much you know. Tell me, Mr. Joe, this leaf. How did you ever fall for it? How did you come to buy this reference work? Because every house ought to have an encyclopedia, PV, to look up things. As a matter of fact, I bought this for Leroy. Leroy? Well, you needn't seem so surprised. Leroy's begun to show real interest in his schoolwork this year. He's turned over a new leaf. Must've turned over a new Leroy. Well, I'm for encouraging him, PV. That's why I bought this. I figure it'll help him in his work. For instance, do you know how many tribes of Aborigines there are in this country? Mr. Yellow, Steve, I'm not to go. I have a customer waiting for a thermometer. Her husband is having chills. I asked you a question, PV. Do you know how many battles Alexander the Great won? Mr. Yellow, Steve, I... Yeah, that's probably her again wants to know where the thermometer is. Do you know what country is the native habitat of York? Mr. Yellow, Steve, I'm trying to run a pharmacy here, not a quiz program. Yeah, I'm coming. All right, go on. The trouble with you is, PV, all you're interested in is making money. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Oh, go on and answer it. I'll go and talk to somebody who's interested in intelligent things. Or would you rather sit out here on the porch? Well, it's such a nice evening, but let's go inside. Got something I want to show you. I was so glad when you called last night I've hardly seen you all summer. Yeah, not since the Jolly Boys picnic. That's right. Well, where shall we go? On the sofa here would be good. Fine. Tell you why I came, Eve. It's about Leroy. Already? The school only started Monday. That's not what you think. Something has come over, Leroy. I think it's his new teacher. Miss Win? Mm-hmm, that's her. I mean, that's she. She... Well, she's rather young and inexperienced. I was a little concerned about substituting her for Miss McCann. Listen, she's got those kids eating out of her hand. Oh, well, I'm glad to hear it. Well, she's got Leroy all steamed up. He can't wait to get to school in the morning and he comes home every afternoon and goes straight to his homework. I think the boy's going to turn out to be a student. Oh, splendid. You know, it's so inspiring when a boy suddenly takes hold like that. It's what makes teaching worthwhile. Right away, things are going. I'm planning now by George to send him to college. Oh, I think he should go, definitely. Well, I want him to have every advantage. So the first thing I did, today, I bought him an encyclopedia. Oh, how wonderful. The Britannica? The what? The encyclopedia Britannica. Well, no, this is called the New World Encyclopedia. Oh. It's 30 volumes, Eve. Cost me 69.50. Got everything from A to Z. They're delivering it tomorrow. See, here's a sample volume. Handsomely illustrated, over a thousand color plates. Hand tooling and so forth. Why is the Britannica better? Oh, I'm sure this one is very good. I'm sure if Leroy learns everything in it, he'll do very well. I just happen to like the Britannica. But let's have a look at this. Do you want to turn on the light there? That's better. Like me to show it to you? Yes, do. Well, let's shovel over a little, huh? Then we can spread it out on our laps. Kind of big. You see here, they begin with A. They usually do. Oh. Now, here it's all about Aaron, fellow in the Bible. And from Aaron, they go to kind of dull in through here. Let's look for some pictures. Oh, there's one. Now, here. Here's a picture of a, let's see. It says it's a picture of an ancient Abyssinian vase. Hmm. Busted. Over here we have... Eh, say, lean over again like that. Why? I like that perfume you're wearing. It's not perfume, it's cologne. I don't care, I like it. And it has nothing to do with the Abyssinians. Let's see what this other picture here has. Throckmorton. Eh. Well, are you going to show me the book or aren't you? I don't want to read anymore Eve, my eyes are tired. Hmm. They tire too easily, you should see an Oculus. Um, tell me Throckmorton, did you come over here to talk about Leroy's college education or for something else? Well, after all, Eve, you won't be going to college for five years. There's no rushes there. Oh, none at all. Why don't you come back again in five years? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yes, well, let's see here. Astronomy, astrophysics. I'd call you at the office Mr. Gillsleeve, but there's a man here with a truck that wants a dollar and seventy cents. Yes, sir. It's a crate and it weighs a ton. Oh, I won't open it. No, sir, I won't say nothing to Leroy. Encyclopedia, what? Well, I don't get it, but I'll just leave it laying here in the hall till you get home. Yes, sir. Uh, Mr. Gillsleeve, it ain't anything to go off, is it? I guess he must be all right. He said paid a man. Ready? Let me get at this. Why, it's books. My goodness, what names? This way to Leroy sees this. Will he be thrilled? Where is our little scholar? I don't know, Mr. Gillsleeve. He came in from school and went right upstairs. At his books, I suppose, we mustn't let the boy wreck his health. Ha! No, my dear. Well, I don't see why he has to make such a show of it. The first time in his life he's ever studied. Now, let's not discourage him. Leroy, I've got something for you. No, wait. Don't look yet, Leroy. Hand me that first volume, my dear. I want to write something in it. Write in it? On the fly leaf, just a little inscription. I'll go get my pen. Well, what do you know? Here comes Miss Goodwin. Miss Goodwin? Well, coming around, eh? I've got room. You sure are in, Bernie. I'll be right back. That's her. I'm Goodwin. Well, well. Good afternoon, Bernie. Is Mr. Gillsleeve in? Yes, ma'am. In his study. You'll be right out. Come in. Thank you. You've been kind of a stranger around here lately, Miss Goodwin. Well, I've been... Oh, hello, Marjorie. Hello. Uncle Mort will be right out. Well, you came just at the right time. Look out for that creep. Oh, I, uh... I came over, Throckmorton, because I wanted to explain to you about the whole thing myself. Well, that's fine. I'm just about to surprise Leroy with his present. Leroy, Lee. Explain about what, Eve? You want to explain about what? Didn't Leroy tell you? Tell me what? I've hardly seen the boy. I was forced to suspend Leroy from school today. Suspend? For a week. I didn't like to do it. But when a boy openly defies his teacher and calls her name... Leroy! I don't understand it, Eve. I thought he was crazy about Miss Win. Oh, this wasn't Miss Win. She was just a substitute. This was Miss McCann. Uh-huh. She's back. What did he call her, Eve? He called her a goon-faced old tomato. Leroy! Don't bother! I'm coming up! Audrey, what am I going to do with this encyclopedia now? $25 down and 10 months to pay. Well, I guess I'll just have to return it, that's all. How are you going to return it? Oh, that's easy. Just tell him to come for it. With this writing on the fly, Leith? For a good boy. To Leroy from his loving uncle. Reading maketh a full man. By George, he'll pay for it. He'll pay for it out of his allowance. If I have to raise his allowance to do it. The Great Gilder Sleeve is played by Harold Perry. It is written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Beacon. This is John Lang speaking for the Kraft Cheese Company. I'm inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of The Great Gilder Sleeve. Yeah. Good night, everybody. For hurry-up meals and quick company treats, here's a sure bet. Serve Pabstet, the delicious cheese food. Enjoy Pabstet's mellow cheddar cheese goodness in sandwiches and salads. Serve slices of Pabstet with pie and fruit desserts. And see what a swell sauce Pabstet makes for egg and macaroni dishes. Pabstet is nourishing, digestible, comes in two delicious varieties. Golden Pabstet and Pimento Pabstet. Buy both kinds. Get Pabstet cheddar cheese food from your dealer tomorrow. This is the National Broadcasting Company.