 Peace be upon you Peace be upon you Peace be upon you Alhamdulillah I wanted to be worried before I began that we didn't really discuss how we could split up the topic but then I remembered a good friend of mine who was going to be here but he couldn't make it Imam Afroz Ali and we do a lot of programs together he said don't worry about it because many times we speak it's okay how are we going to split up the topic so don't worry about it, Allah makes things fit together it always happens SubhanAllah and so what Ibn Latif mentioned really hit at the heart of what the causes of extremism are especially this idea that you know what Allah SubhanAllah has blessed us with through the Messenger sallallahu alaihi wa sallam when Allah Himself describes it as being a light Laqad ja'alum min Allahi nuru has come to you from Allah a light what is light? Light is that which gives clarity it shows you things as they are and the believer someone who has iman what does iman do? iman faith is believing in things as they truly are and the truest reality is Allah SubhanAllah and what has come to us from Allah SubhanAllah and the cure for the confusions that lead to extremism and what you can call anli Islam that does exist there's a simple criteria often Muslims do strange and disturbing things but if you ask one simple question can you imagine the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam doing that and anytime the answer is no then it's very simple, it's not Islam because Islam is what the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam came with and however that clarity where is it found? that clarity is found in knowledge and I wanted to touch upon this issue of extremism with respect to the community itself because as believers we are individuals and we're a community for the individual that clarity in one's life that mercy in one's life is to connect with knowledge and I recently realized and some of the MCC administration you were talking and many people are self conscious about being referred to as uncle but I decided to be pragmatic about it I said look, I'm an uncle already I'm not 40 yet but I'm getting there that has declared myself to be uncle Rabbani before others call me uncle I'll embrace uncle-ness I actually have a Twitter handle called uncle Rabbani who is the other the wise Indian uncle but an uncle is always telling me that I told you I told you this I told you that years ago and I'm beginning to feel that because people keep coming and you ask the same thing again and again but one of the things before we talk about the community at the level of the individual is and if you're honest with yourself you may experience this that a lot of people a lot of Muslims are scared of knowledge because we have an apprehension towards knowledge in that we feel that if we learn more about the Deen it's going to make things difficult for us the reality is that this is completely wrong because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us truly this religion is ease that any true understanding of the Deen what does it bring into one's life it brings ease into one's life but what is ease and what is ease and Subhanallah I've been looking like what is a good definition of use of ease and many of them have many things to say about it but the best explanation that I heard about it was by one of the great blessings of Allah to this age Muhammad Sayyid al-Rudhan al-Bouthi and the Al-Malik would say that if even Malik the author of the Al-Fiyah in Grammar, a thousand line poem in Grammar he said that if knowledge is divine gifts and lordly facilitations then it is not surprising if Allah saves for later scholars of knowledge that he did not inspire or earlier scholars to and you find this that it is from the mercy of Allah that you can go and research an issue in many many places but you find that a contemporary scholar explains something in ways that no one before him or her explained it why? because this is from Allah Subhanallah inspiration is from Allah Subhanallah that he wanted to have people to have basing this upon what even Malik said he is praising his own book he says that if someone attains what is in this book of mine they will say with a full mouth how much did the earlier scholars need for the late scholars so Shaykh al-Bouthi explained and I am not doing full justice to what he said that ease is not simply making things easier for you in life ease is understood in our dina religion is ease that religion is the means to ultimate ease because true ease is ease that lasts which is the eternal ease but the religion lays out a path to the eternal ease that itself is characterised by ease in this life but it is an ease that has perspective which is a point that Salam al-Alih emphasized that that balance gives you a sense of direction so the horizon by which we look at things is this is a means to eternal ease so even if it were difficult right now even if it were which it is not it's a means to eternal ease but the characteristic of in this life is ease as well and we should not hold back from seeking knowledge out of that baseless fear because I find it all the time people, we run an answer service and daily people make their being much more difficult for themselves than it is, why? because they don't gain knowledge so there's people at work who spent 10 minutes doing wudu at work and they find wudu difficult and prayer difficult whereas the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam you see the description of his wudu and one of the women point it out we take the hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam about wudu and do each of those steps as described and they described in detail in the hadith of Sayyidna Ar-Rusman, Al-Radiullah, Al-Anhu and others it doesn't take more than a minute or two that's it why? because that's the characteristic of balance in the prophetic fact it is virtuous but it is characterized by this ease and straightforwardness so one of the ways to get that clarity in one's own life is to seek knowledge a lot of the intellectual confusion that people have are dispelled sometimes actually just by one verse in the Quran by one word in the Quran and a lot of people have doubts about who is Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala just look at the description of Allah's summit Allah is the independent whom all are dependent upon and if you understand that one word that's how Allah describes himself that will give you clarity and dispel all confusion about who is God and all kinds of misplaced notions about God so we should not hesitate to seek that knowledge but to seek it in that way of balance but if we look at it as a community it is undeniable that there are people within our community who have troubling understandings and who are doing things that are ugly and disturbing but it is also a reality that if you see case after case of these things happening these don't happen from within our community in the sense that typically the people who engage in those kinds of ugly actions or who are led to engage in those actions are not typically coming from within the community they either stepped away from the community or were estranged from the community or were never even part of a Muslim community right so we can take one approach to that which is saying we're not responsible as a community we did not cause these things to happen but what should cause us to pause is our religious duty as individuals in a community and that if we are part and you're not just part of the community if you're in the leadership of the community because the religious duties we have as a community they're considered communal obligations for Wul Dun Qifayah they fall upon everyone in the community so the responsibility of fulfilling the religious duties that this center for example the MCC has they don't fall on the administration that the administration is responsible for fulfilling the mandate that MCC has it falls upon the entire community these are representatives of that community but they don't absolve the community of that responsibility but we have to remember that all the religious responsibilities that we have are towards the entirety of the community and we have responsibilities as a community that is in the context of a society but we have to ask ourselves that are we conveying that purity that light that mercy that beauty that virtue that radiant way that we know the Prophet has come with that has given our own lives beauty and meaning and good which cause us to be connected with our message in with our institutions that causes us to support the various worthy projects that are there in the community and you're blessed in the Bay here to have some of the foremost projects in the Muslim Ummah if we really realize it projects like Zaidunah for example and so many other noble projects but have we reached the Muslim community with that with that which we have and the reality is that we haven't and the reality is that we haven't so it is not surprising that people will get confused that in seeking the pleasure of Allah SWT but unguided by knowledge lacking the purity that we've all I'm sure feel that Allah has blessed us with and there's many people out there who are going to have that and it is not surprising that they stumble into extremes many of them stumble into extremes just in their own daily lives and some of you may have experienced that a natural thing that happens when someone becomes religious at the personal level is that if you are trying to seek the pleasure of Allah in your religious practice what are you going to try to do are you going to try to take it easy you're going to try to be careful but how can you be careful if you don't know where the limits are so on a daily basis the most common questions we get on Seeker's Nights we get dozens of questions a day have to do with Ulu people live miserable lives because of Ulu there's people who spend hours a day in the washroom and you may think it's funny but it's real there's people who give up religious practice because of Ulu there's people who give up on the team why even their Ulu is so simple but they don't have that clarity they don't have that clarity there's people who are lost in confusion about very simple things that are not issues for us as believers but the environment they grow up in that all the people are are going away from faith but the social and cultural environment we live in instills in even us as believers notions about Allah SWT about God that the thinking person could never accept so there's so many Muslims who wonder that if Allah if Allah is good then how can they be evil in this world and there's people who leave the need of Allah SWT because of this issue that for us as believers is a non-issue is a non-issue because we don't define God in human terms we don't say that Allah must do the good because what is the good who determines the good it's a very simple issue of course we don't have to be careful when the Christian person asks you is God good don't say yes and don't say no not every question has a yes or no answer not every question has a yes or no answer we say that Allah is the determinant of good and evil and Allah determines what's right and wrong and nothing puts limits on Allah SWT rather everything that Allah does has wisdom everything that Allah does has wisdom and it's part of the reality by which Allah created the surf which is in order to test you which of you is best in words we understand that there's a hereafter so no one will be wronged even an atom so someone a little child who died in a tsunami we're not troubled by that why? because we know that there's a hereafter that everyone will get what they deserved and Allah will deal with this creation of mercy so for us this is not an issue but lacking knowledge people are deeply troubled this is why like one of the great poets of the 20th century he said most people live lives of quiet desperation but within our community most Muslims live lives of quiet desperation about their being why? because have these nagging doubts they have these confusions that the messenger of Allah said came with the most beautiful and live giving of messages but what they perceive of it and hear about it appears to be disturbing and ugly and confused and confusing now we can sit back and say well tough I have something of the good and Alhamdulillah in a weird recite the weird of Sheikh Abu Bakr bin Salim and we're fine and that's it but it's not a communal obligation of Farid Ki Thayr that none of you believes until they wish for others of the good as they wish for it themselves and this is something that would keep the Prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam awake at night this is something that he would be sitting reflecting about what would benefit his ummah and how to convey the good to his ummah and it's something that should trouble us because part of the part of the leadership of various projects that were involved whether the community institutions or various projects should also concern us as individuals that if you come to a typical Muslim event you should think about the B.H.I. do you know what the B.H.I. is anyone know what the B.H.I. is the B.H.I. is a beard hijab index and at a typical religious program the B.H.I. the beard hijab index is above 85 or 90 percent and I'm sure most of the men didn't grow their facial hair even in partials, midweek it's been there for a while whatever however much it is and there's gauges by which you can tell that it appears most sisters are of those who wear hijab not the reality of the brother Muslim community no, so where are those people where are those people and the nature of Ardeen Ardeen is a sticky theme Ardeen is a sticky theme that people remain connected with it even when you wouldn't imagine that they would remain connected with it I grew up and I went through what I would now consider an extreme phase with other universities and I used to wonder about some of my family members is he still a Muslim? but one of my relatives his mother died and he called me at that time I was in Jordan so my mother died and I thought I didn't see him pray I didn't think he took time off for Eid I was like okay two strikes, one more strike and I'm gonna sort of have to consider Catholic you know I was too lazy to take extreme steps because extremism requires some energy but but the nature of the Deen is it sticks the base of Deen is it sticks with people but when they have that inclination to return to it how can they do so how can they do so they have to be very concerned about the 80% of the Muslim community the 90% of the community that doesn't come to our institutions and most of them you'll find surprising levels of religious concern amongst them but yet they can't imagine themselves being part of our religious institutions so we have to have an active concern and it's not about how many people come to your institution how many people are in your program but have we done our utmost best to reach out to those seeking guidance have we really called them and then it's not just about calling them but if they have come to our institutions our programs, our projects have they felt welcome have they felt welcome and that is critical because if we don't take care of that there'll be even greater confusion in the broader Muslim community it's already a reality that there are a lot of Muslims right here in North America who have been leaving the need atheism, I have first cousins who won't give me and some of them I respect them for it because it's based on reason this misguided child they'll come back but won't return my sons because they say I don't believe so why should I give you a religious beating I'm like okay I don't but this is a reality and there's others who harbor deep doubts what is the cure for it we need to reach out to them if we feel that we have something of benefit we should feel content to simply be a club of the VHI the bearded hijabi bearded hijabi islamics not islamists but islamics no we have to have a broader concern but to do that how can we reach out to those people that knowledge, that guidance that spiritual connection that we feel we have the first thing is we have to take it very seriously to be living embodiments of it that regardless of how whether you feel yourself worthy or unworthy you are an ambassador of Allah and his messenger in your own family, in your own society to your own children how do you call your own children to the Dean you don't call them by your words you call them by your conduct and state but then to the broader society to the broader society we have to have an active concern to look at how our religious programming how our educational programs how our institutional projects are reaching out to and serving accessible and relevant to the broader community and that should be an active concern we should be sitting together and thinking about class this is our responsibility are we reaching them and not to judge on false scales that well how can we pack this place but who didn't we pack it with with friends and family that's good but that's not a fulfillment of our responsibility but you can feel down about that it's such a big responsibility but in reality this is a tremendous blessing the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that whoever reminds masunda in a time of tribulation or confusion in mayola has the reward of martyrs in some narrations a hundred martyrs but this stronger narration has the reward of a martyr why because consider what you're doing you are facilitating guidance brothers a hundred years ago in a place like damascus and even if you are a scholar you are redundant there are so many other scholars even now in cities like damascus and a lot of returnees to safety of abid there's many many great people of knowledge who did not feel the need to teach or they only had a handful of students why? because there's so many scholars out there already but now if you are someone who takes your religion seriously there are so many opportunities to reach out to others and we're going to be closing with it there's one sister for example who just studied for less than a year she just studied two basic texts on the phip of worship what did she do with it? she learned it well and in the last nine years she's taught at least 1200 people she didn't go overseas to damascus or here or there she just studied a basic text and then a mid-sized text total not more than 35-40 classes but she did it really well with a concern to act upon it herself she's a serious person people in her community ask we want sisters also to teach but I'm not worthy so they asked her teachers and I was one of the two people who taught her and both of us knew her because she was an active serious student both of them know she should teach and she's been teaching since not as some sheikh of Islam and she's been in different communities across the US she's taught at least 1200 people and this is something that is a tremendous opportunity that even if you learn a little and you strive to act upon it and in the context of community and in consultation with the teachers that you have then you don't just go up to I'm going to start teaching no, you have scholars in this community you have leaders in this community you have institutions in this community connect with them and look, Allah may open for you the door of teaching someone else Allah may open the door for reaching out to the youth someone else Allah, the door that he's open for you is to counsel other people someone else Allah has opened the door for you to be assisting those who are engaged in those things but we should take this as a tremendous gift that Allah has placed us in times where we can be vehicles or conveying that prophetic light or assisting in the conveyance of that prophetic light or at least in being supporters of that prophetic light so what should we do it's called the kiss of life and we're going to close there's four things four things by which we sustain religion in our own lives and that we should be coming together as a community to reach out first to the broader community of Muslims and then to the society that we're in to exemplify the prophetic light the kiss of life is that we need to be connected and supporting knowledge inspiration spirituality and service we need to have knowledge and we should always be supporting the spread of knowledge in our own community institutions whether our mosques or the institutions that are emerging now in North America for the spread of knowledge but knowledge on its own is not enough we need religious inspiration that which will cause us to live that knowledge and there's many means to that that we will detail we need to bring that knowledge to its full fruition through having a living spirituality through remembrance and gathering and the fourth thing that we have to have that we have to have a spirit of service that in order to have sincerity in your own practice of being there should be some element of service in which you are serving others in whichever way of service that Allah facilitates for you but with consistency with concern with others so that you're doing it in jamaa in a group because Allah's hand is with the group and if we do these four things not just both in our individual lives but together as a community we'll find that our deen will flourish and we will spread the light of clarity by which the tendency to be confused and misguided will lessen in our time so may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make us see this tremendous opportunity and we shouldn't feel down because we don't choose the times that Allah has placed us in but we can choose our response and this is a tremendous gift from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that we can rise up and seek to be of those who live the call of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in our own lives and who call others to that either through our own calling or through our assistance or support and concern for that call towards the light of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and who is better in speech than the one who calls to Allah and that's both the one who is engaged in the calling and the one who is assisting them and serving them and supporting them so may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us that concern both in our own individual lives and as a community and to see that we have a tremendous responsibility before us and we should not sell ourselves short and come and volunteer and we should also look at how they can structure our organizations in our community in order to make the most of the resources and the human potential that exist in our community that we cannot afford to structure under institutions in primitive ways that do not make the most of the tremendous talent and potential that exist in our communities so may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala inspire us to that good and that may grant us high aspirations and high hopes and make us committed to uphold excellence and that we rely on Him so that we find the fruition of our highest of aims in the most noble of ways wa alhamdulillah ala ila ala minu Please sisters feel free, first one Please go ahead I have a question maybe it's not related but I like the topic of the middle way and I missed your lecture unfortunately in this case So I have this question about the groups the people they lead doing ta'ala for 4 months 3 months is that I don't think that makes any sense for the family or family with them and the scores So the question is about certain groups that people go for several months leaving their family etc There is in itself there is a basis for people going out and calling people to Allah SWT but there is also of course the consideration that one must take care of both the financial needs of the family and also their social needs and so on So if it's done correctly this is one way of calling to Allah SWT and typically we see the scholars from such groups they strongly encourage people that if they do so in a manner in which both the financial and human needs of the family are taken care of etc but what sometimes happens is that there is people who go beyond those limits they get very exuberant they hear the talk and the message and they are like I am off tomorrow So it's not fair to necessarily ascribe those excesses of individuals and the matter is vast the matter is vast there is there are many different approaches to calling to Allah SWT and different people find different levels of comfort and benefit and however we know that anything that results in harm you know all things considered is not consonant with prophetic teachings and the way of the Prophet SAW is the way of perfect balance in the Prophet SAW said give and it's not give give every person who has a right give all who have rights their due rights because the dehaq there refers not just to human beings but give everything their due rights and that's the sense of perfect balance so it's not a question of should someone go on da'allah or take care of their family the right balance is how do you the prophetic ways how do you give your family their rights and your da'allah or your studies or your service or your activism their rights and to come up with the perfect with the right balance in those things there's someone inclined to those kinds of ways one of the things that all of us can do when we're trying to make our choices is to consult it is sufficient for us to know that the Prophet SAW himself is the greatest intellect that Allah has ever created the wisest human being who's ever walked on earth he would at every stage of his message he would act, he would consult actually the first thing he did after the revelation came was he went and consulted Sayyeda Khadija and that has an important lesson but also sometimes if we're in the opposite situation it can happen your wife is always out doing some religious thing you know who's the most and sorry if this person has been offended it's a dangerous group in the Muslim community at least in my experience in the Muslim community the NRAs you know who the NRAs are the newly religious aunties and we have a lot of them in our community actually my neighborhood is overrun by these NRAs it's very dangerous and I deal with a lot of lack from them because a number of them have deemed me to be deviant which makes life fun in the neighborhood you know I don't feel bad about it because you know if I knew I was deviant I'd try to get properly guided you know anyway so the opposite is also possible right uncle feels that auntie has gone crazy now what do you do about it a first step is if sometimes if something isn't clear one of the first things you do is to consult because sometimes what happens in the context of auntie auntie gets religious uncle gets afraid that now life's going to be difficult and I won't be getting any food because the first thing auntie learned is that women are not obligated to cook and clean according to the last majority of Islamic scholarship so auntie besides she manages it that it's haram for me to cook and clean unless it pays me for it so anyway so uncle gets upset but the way he responds to it is even worse so instead of reacting the first thing to do if you're not clear how to improve things for the better is before reacting consult and sometimes it might be that or if you change the switch the table uncle's a bit too excited about religious matters and he's always away from home but imagine if uncle's now outside the house all the time and you react by getting mad at uncle every time he comes late are you going to come back early next time? no, you're going to make a bad situation worse so before reacting it helps sometimes to consult how to deal with this in a positive way there's many groups in our umma and the way to look at it is that Allah SWT has created people with different temperance and different people will go towards what they find to be a benefit so we should recognize the good that some people do and the excesses we encourage people to avoid those excesses because in some cases, for example I ended up traveling quite a bit but alhamdulillah in my wife she encouraged me, she said no what you're going to do is beautiful it's important so I never go for more than three weeks at a time I used to travel more alhamdulillah she's very supportive in other situations and for some other people it can be overwhelming so there's different situations so people the advice I should give is to consult someone is getting over-exuberant in karmic to consult the elders, the senior, the smaller in those groups and they tend to typically have balance and a lot of times this excessive energy comes from youth and many of the early muslims that good will remain in people as long as they take knowledge from their elders and don't take it from the little ones amongst them but they said that the little ones is not just in age although it has a connotation of age that the little ones are those lacking in understanding and wisdom those lacking in understanding and wisdom normally she asked whatever group they may be the people older tend to be much more balanced that's all the young people who are over-exuberant alhamdulillah maybe another question from the sister side we'll take both of you in order so I'm kind of wondering both of your opinions on this may I, one of my frustrations was like the muslim American muslim community and you were talking about earlier like how a lot of the environments or a lot of the events that we have aren't necessarily welcoming to everybody and I think especially in America as we're struggling with our American muslim identity we kind of a lot of emphasis have been placed on being really welcoming but I feel like what's happened is Islam has become really watered down in a lot of these circles and so a lot of like the really beautiful boundaries of Islam are just abandoned or compromised because we want to maintain like being welcoming so I just kind of wanted to hear your opinions about that and how to kind of have some be maintained but at the same time still be welcoming and then just start just to add on to that what also happens I think is when we try to have these really welcoming circles a lot of the a lot of muslims who want to kind of maintain boundaries in a way so what about the emphasis on being welcoming sometimes watering down the the limits and so on a lot of this returns to that idea of consulting that very often if you approach something with an experience you imagine it to be either this or that whereas the prophetic way is to break dichotomies that should be be welcoming or should we be strict and it's neither it's neither if you see for example the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who's the one who established boundaries of caution and taqwa and so on there's no one who is more welcoming than the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam there's no one who is more accepting than the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam so the issue is how can we you know have you know the how is one welcoming through excellence of character and if someone you know this very reason that struck me was incredible in his just being approachable that I spent hours translating to group of sisters have you called him but my wife noticed it I noticed it partially because this happened to translate I thought he wasn't shape the shape from Australia was the main translator but he wanted to break and said this is a sister session okay so the sisters fell in love with having called but he was just so welcoming and nice but my wife said she noticed it do you notice that he never actually made eye contact with any of the sisters but he was so welcoming as I asked him he said I look over the heads of the sisters he was just so you know the people felt that they felt that he reinvigorated them that he gave them the time he gave them you know he was completely at their service even the night that he was traveling there's a whole group of sisters there's a dinner and then some sisters had a question he said two hours answering the sisters question to like one thirty at night okay because they had questions and I'm at your service but he upheld all the Sundas related to caution and so on so that there's a a way of achieving that balance but that requires a few things and that requires one consulting a lot of times we fail to consult and integral in the way of the Alama is that when you're young as a scholar, as a teacher, as a leader consult your elders if you become one of the elders consult those who are older than you older not just in age but in experience and then if you are the senior most of the scholars or leaders consult your peers and those younger than you and this is one of the things we always see with the Alama that they'll consult even their students on things right and that's something that should enter into our culture that we should be consulting those who have more experience we should also be consulting with our peers but sometimes people do overcompensate in our community I know situations where people have held events and the sisters have complained after that we were very uncomfortable because the shake was trying to be too friendly we felt very like like these there's a balance but how do you do it there needs to be an environment then there's also the reality that different people have different levels of comfort different people have different levels of comfort there needs to be the diversity in our community and that's beautiful we have a range of legal opinions on many things there's some people who don't I'm part of a program where they have a monthly gathering and have a good friend of mine he won't attend because there isn't a barrier but if there were a barrier another friend of mine also in Toronto in the middle of Toronto convince the two parties both of you should attend I won't attend if there is a barrier I won't attend if there isn't and at one level there's a range of opinions that are permitted how do you deal with them with consulting if we are able to create situations where we are able to take different levels of comfort that's also fine there's a broad range of opinions some people want to do it this way some people want to do it that way and within this broad range that is also good and sometimes when people do talk about things sometimes there are situations that can be resolved so there's one magic that happens in Toronto for example there's a large monthly magic where the magic won't accept having a barrier but some of the sisters really want to be behind a barrier so what they have on one side there's a barrier and some sisters are behind the barrier and so you create those kinds those kinds of situations and so one thing is the consulting of one seniors also there should be a process how do we do things in our community that they should be consulted in processes also within the community how can we best take care of these these matters and those take care of most of the grievances but the concern of that should be also can we address the substance of the problem rather than sometimes just it's a specific manifestation so is it a concern that some things could be watered down as long as they're within the elements of the shaya as defined by the ulama there's a range and within those range one can see where one finds one's comfort and we find like for example in our own city in Toronto there's all kinds of different mediathees there's something actually out there that that personally I'd never go to willingly by why found out that I went to them should be upset but there's people for whom those mediathees are a mercy why? because they're kind of they've been jaded by the mainstream of the community so we have a few hippie gatherings in Toronto which I'd never encouraged people to go to but there's some people who end up going to them who is almost like a half way house they sort of help them reconnect they get comfortable again with the dean they serve really nice tea and this and that and then they're willing to come back and actually the sheikh who runs a lot of these he told me what I run is like a mental asylum right? and you know he's a very noble man look I don't like exactly how things are done in our mediathees but I'm dealing you know we're crazy and you know I disagree with him but he didn't ask me my opinions I didn't tell him what I felt about it so there's wisdom in it too one of the things that you should fascinate me in Damascus when I was there was that all these people used to come to Damascus and go and do really weird things westerners at the grave of Ibn al-Arabi I ended up sitting there studying some nights ago and study there too but there's certain times that I'd hide from Imam Zayn because after Assad Imam Zayn wanted to do some group liquor together and I wanted to use that time to study so if I was there at Assad I'd spend 10-15 minutes hiding from Imam Zayn so that he'd do his group liquor and study some fiqh and then go and meet Imam Zayn and you find all kinds of weird westerners coming doing strange things and it's wrong because all the things are really wacky but it serves as a halfway house and many things in our community are like that you know because we're not there to run the world right people are going to do what they're going to do and you have to let them be and a man came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and this hadith is so shocking that some people said some of the hadith scholars said that this couldn't be Sahih but it is a man came within family a man came and said that more messenger of Allah my wife does not turn away seeking hands and it means exactly what it sounds like the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam asked him would you divorce her and the man in one direction and the man didn't say anything it was obvious that he wouldn't and the discussion as to whether he said it or this is what was understood from but the man clearly didn't want to divorce her so he asked him do you love her? and I indicated that he did so he said then enjoy her company like what are you going to do about it like you're going to tie her down lock her up do this like you have two choices either leave her sometimes you know we can't we're not running the world we're not running other people's lives and people have their struggle with their understandings etc what are you going to do about it and this is a constant theme in the life of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam even in our relation we can't force other people to change this companion came he committed zina with someone's labor then with someone else's labor then with someone else's labor and he was punished each time so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam don't assist his shaitan against him don't assist his shaitan against him let the man struggle let him be let him be it'll take him time that's at the level of individual religion but also in the community I was in Indonesia a few years ago and there's a few things that I saw in Indonesia that I haven't seen anywhere else in the Muslim world so I asked one of the scholars from the Habayih there and he said they have certain cultural practices that we don't entirely agree with but they're still new to Islam Islam has only been here for about three centuries three centuries we think that Islam has been in North America for a long time it's like with the second generation he's like Islam is still new here it'll take them time and that's how change came in history so we should ask our hearts what we consider to be correct we should follow it and as a community we should try to come to a beautiful balance that takes into account a range of practice and we should be soft headed as well not to be hard headed on one position that it has to be this way or no other way but sometimes also if one is genuinely comfortable with something one doesn't have to attend every gathering and that doesn't have to be everything that happens either because we find it too easy going or we'll find it too uncomfortably strict or whatever and there's a range there's a beautiful diversity in that as well thank you for the answer sister Mona if I might just in the interest of time after you you can make it very brief I'm just wondering my son is still a teenager and he's very much involved in the MSA so what advice would you give the youth to look out for when other people try to join the MSA you don't really know their backgrounds they may seem very friendly but they may have this violent streak what kind of signs do you look for one should be aware of to watch out and not be in their company because if they are indeed misguided they may be on their face right so what kind of advice would you give kids to look out for what's so I guess I'll I wanted to say something about what you were saying before you know this is kind of a problem that we have that we don't really know how to forgive things happen in the community you were mentioning about people kind of finding their place in the community I think part of the issue that we have is that we can't Islam is a religion that's intact meaning that we have this thing where the Quran and the Sunnah tradition the whole body of it is literally intact it's not something you find around the world you know the other religions that are whatever's left of them is not there's no chain we can't make things up as we go along there's too much proof against us if we do so and thank God the other thing is that we have such strong ideals about the way things are supposed to be that we can find it to be crippling in the world meaning that the bar has been set so high and the tradition has been so well defined and saved all the ways of this day may Allah preserve it to the last day the same token that there's this little problem that's been happening all the way through and there's these human beings that have to live it and it's never consistent so what happens with us is that we especially when you read the analogy about we start to practice and we start studying whatever and we're getting introduced to these ideals and we just seem to think that well I am the ideal and then here we go on perfectly and people that don't seem to be Dr. Jackson called this the Abobakarization of the World where everybody becomes Abobakar then you're not welcome I think the deeper problem is that I think what we need to really ask ourselves is that are we prepared to forgive each other for things are we prepared to forgive each other for our humanity if someone doesn't pray the way that I do just forgive them if someone doesn't seem to be as pious as I am just forgive them if someone is not I don't know doesn't see an eye with me in other words first of all maybe you shouldn't think that you know everything or that you have everything in the way that it should be yourself but if you do just have it in your heart to let go and forgive them that's a real big problem that we have and so people can't make mistakes and they're really afraid to make mistakes if they ever make a mistake they just do everything they can to make sure that nobody it's like come on man there's this thing called there's this thing called there's this thing called there's this thing called maybe Sheikh Hamdus said a long time ago something really beautiful he says a lot of things like that he said when my relatives leave this world they're no longer my relatives he said it and never even like that when they're in the ground there's no longer a relationship between them because of this thing called God won't deal with them in a certain way he doesn't deal with people who believe I mean he said that I don't know if you take it back now but it's important to understand what he's saying at the time and that's that but when it comes to people that are praying next to him those are my brothers and sisters when you say auntie it's like no really that's your mom's sister you know and I mean I wonder are are the families like this something goes wrong no one can forget is it like that in the families as well so I'm just like okay you know we're human beings and this is our need it is intact we do have to hold it up we have to hold this thing up called mercy you know we have to forgive each other I want to be able to know that I can fall on my face I need to know that I can fall on my face and look ridiculous totally ridiculous and I dust myself off and the Muslims are going to embrace me and say Alhamdulillah I don't want to have the feeling that I'm making a mistake I have to try considering Buddhism no I mean I'm serious I mean I'm really I mean I wish it was it's just true people are leaving this time because the Buddhist don't judge or whatever but I mean that's not we have to be able to dig deeper into ourselves and be able to be really human about this thing because people are just looking for humanity they just want to see it even being I want to know that if I make a mistake I'm not going to be related to the gutter the rest of my life these kinds of things in terms of like the children the children are saying something about that I think you're a mother I think yes I am but I'm here to tell you that your child is going to be facing something that they won't even tell you about you know what's more important I don't think it's so important to be able to kind of fend oneself off from dangerous things as much as it is to be able to deal with them as they happen like the same thing with the problems that we have like people are going to sin people are going to fall down fine whatever it is it's not a matter of like you know this whole sins and mistakes kind of thing or bad people or good people it's not a matter of how do I avoid it this world is trial but the problem is the question is when it happens is my child able to deal with it to bounce back from it can they operate in the world you know what I mean and that way you know I think it's important I mean I think it's really very important that our children and our young people have some elasticity like we're very like class people we have some elasticity you know dangerous people are actually a lot of people if you ever take the train anywhere you realize how dangerous it is if you're never taking the train just get on the train you know the sentiment that happens a lot of times is that we just want to be safe from every kind of evil but the truth is that God has placed us in the thick of it the Muslims are here for a reason we're not here to to be pristine and just kind of we're actually here to be right in the middle of it this land was an urban religion right in the middle of it because we have to be and we need to have some elasticity to be able to deal and to manage so that you know there's you guys are listening called YouTube YouTube has like these videos that are free I watch it all the time there's this video I saw you might have seen this this guy comes in and he wants to rob this Muslim guy's story so he comes in and rob the story you might have seen it comes in and rob the story Muslim guy turns around and has a gun but no the guy the Muslim guy takes his gun he didn't expect that he's like a daisy just a nice guy grab the gun what's up now the guy is like so the guy he's begging for his life now he's like I just want to feed my family so the Muslim guy look at the elasticity not just elasticity it's just straight power I mean I was like this is real I hope this is real obviously it was he says to the guy so I was talking to him he has a gun so let him he's talking to him he's kind of giving him counseling now I just want to feed my family so I was talking to him about goodness and these kinds of things man I don't know what you're about but I just want to be like you this is on tape if I had the link I'd give it to you so anyway he says he has a gun he has a gun he has a gun he has a gun in his face but he's giving him shahada I mean it's the most amazing this is a slam this is what it does I'm talking about flip the script I have the gun you can do what I say I'm going to rob you of your huffer if it was there I don't know and this guy walks out of this place he's a muslim push the gun down after he takes shahada he puts the gun around the same side he gets some cash he doesn't throw it there you go take care of yourself the guy goes off like crying it's a beautiful video I'm not saying that maybe your children should learn how to flip guns around which could be really cool if it happened make sure they do flip it but but we need to be like this that God is what is here for a reason it's not like save ourselves from the dirty people it's more like this man was a washing machine you know and there you have it I don't know I'll just one brief point because the imperative in coming very close to my heart there the central concept related to parenting there's three terms used in terms of the religious upbringing of a child there's the idea of terbiyah which is raising one's child there's a notion of teqdeem and there's a notion of t'alim teaching them the central operative principle in raising one's children is what's called teqdeem and teqdeem can be understood in a negative way simply disciplining in the sense of that you serve as a parent as policemen that don't do this don't do that stay away from those people don't do this you have to do this you're kind of like the traffic police at the parking police all in one worse than that is when its parent is judged you are wrong guilty is charged but what is teqdeem our sense of the active role of a parent in correcting the child in disciplining the child disciplining is not about punishing or correcting the mistakes of the child but rather that teqdeem is the instilling of edam in the child now what is edam I might define edam in different ways but edam is capacity is having the capacity and concern edam itself is the capacity and concern to manifest the right attitude action and response to the actions of others given circumstances edam an important definition is to have the capacity and the concern to manifest the right attitude the right action and the right response to the actions of others given the circumstances so when we are parenting what we're not trying to do is to give children a manual 10 things to do 11 things not to do 21 things not to do and now stick to this but rather when we tell our children what we tell them when we correct our children we are trying to instill in them that capacity that teqdeem is the instilling of that very often referred to as intrinsic motivation the test of it is that were you not to tell the child what to do they would do the right thing they would do the right thing they would know what to do so the test of parenting in those situations is the child should already be ready and we see very clearly in the prophetic way of upbringing that we that we ready our children before they are responsible we give them the capacity before they are in the particular situation where they will be tested so we encourage our children to pray from when they are 7 even though they won't be morally responsible till they are 12 so I used to tell my kid my older son his name is Oman he is sort of Oman and we have to actually calm down like just chill out he gets really upset if anything is wrong around him and he is recognizing but number 2 his name is very even and he is kind of unique so like when he was 6 I asked him for a prayer he said no I told him I don't have to and we have complete respect to that and you don't need to tell me because you don't have to encourage me till I am 7 that's true but of course the winning order he went with me I asked him what would the Sahabah do once actually we are having this conversation he repeated this several times what would the Sahabah do and he actually jumped up on the bed and he realized that he wasn't facing the Qibla so he spun towards the Qibla and said Allah won't fight then he realized he was on the bed so he took 2 steps jumped off the bed and continued his prayers we wanted to make it dramatic we wanted to pray right away because it's in our child so that when they are at university etc we should give them that strength of faith and that religious concern that we don't need to be defensive with our children that they can walk with their own 2 feet in this world and we are not concerned that they will make the wrong choice of course we have to be supportive of them because the prophetic way is not to be defensive if you have a siege mentality sieges typically collapse so when we are in a situation where we feel that the faith and practice of our children may be custom we need to instill stronger faith and practice in our children so that we don't just have minimalistic children they are good Muslims they pray 5 times a day I know children in the Muslim world I see them in my own community I know them in my own family they pray the 100 who do daily aurad I was visiting one of my relatives and this kid in the time he was only like 8 or 9 he was in time out on the stairs and he gets into time out and he starts praying and he was making God so I went up the stairs and I don't like movement so it's a big thing for me to go up the stairs I said why are you praying I'm the oldest kid and mom always like punishes me there's only so much I can complain so all I can do is turn and he's like crying so all I can do is turn to Allah so he'll say what do you pray I pray Salat al-Hajj but Allah inspired mom to be a little more understanding of my situation I think it's beautiful right but she won't listen only so much you can say to mom so what is the solution I said who told you to do this so what I've read about Salat al-Hajj but we need to instill that one thing a book that all of us should read is a 49 way and many of the alama would say even if you're a scholar you should read the 49 way at least once a month just have a routine once a month put it in your calendar once a month review the 49 way if you go through the 49 way you'll be shocked at the number of the hadiths in the 49 way that are advices the advice of the prophet so-and-so gave to children and they're not simple advices actually pretty much most of the most of the hadiths are in the 49 way that the prophet so-and-so advised someone it was to children the hadith of Ibn Habbas it was behind the prophet so-and-so the prophet so-and-so said to him he said O young boy I'll teach you some words be mindful of Allah and Allah will be mindful of you be mindful of Allah and you'll find him before you and the hadith continues that's an advice to like a 10-11 year old one of the central hadiths and this blew me away because my primary interest in safflis is fiqh one of the central hadiths in the prophetic teachings when it comes to fiqh is the hadith al-halal al-bay'in al-haram al-bay'in who narrated this hadith was narrated by al-Nurman al-Mashir and he says in the hadith samir to Rasulullah I heard the messenger of Allah said that expression there is very important why? because he was young how old was he when the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam passed away he was less than 8 because al-Nurman al-Mashir was the first person born to the ansar when the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam migrated and he was born 14 months after the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam migrated and his mother brought him to the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to do tahneek to take the date and when the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam passed away he was less than 8 he heard this hadith when he was 6 or 7 and he narrated the hadith and it's a deep hadith they say many of the khukhas all the principles of Islamic law can be deduced from that hadith as well it's spiritual spiritual purpose and the path of how you practice spirituality is understood from this hadith it is one of the most encompassing hadith amongst the people who are being addressed by this and who understood this was a 6 or 7 year old and many many other hadiths the hadith of Abdullah bin Umar so we should see how we can instill in our children a high standard of maturity that children are born with the capacity that we make them dumb that we should take that seriously that means my wife notices it more but I've realized it we often go to Islamic programs and there's like 10-12 year old kids they're talking tough and older and what are they doing their parents give them an iPad so the shape is talking about something they're sitting there playing a game and these are people coming to the religious program let them know those who don't we should hold our children to a higher standard so that they don't want to do foolish things and they don't want to do foolish things and then if they have that clarity they'll be able to walk in this life of confidence but we shouldn't sell our children short if we think that the deen is worth it then we should raise children who feel that the deen is worth it and they'll stick to it and that's possible wherever you are in the world it's very possible it's time to go to the brother's side by the way the way I think we and our Muslim I don't want to say myself and our children growing in this country many are dissolved in this society we have to protect them the society here there was surveyed a long time ago we have distributed in this market it's very serious 45% of the Muslim students going to college are alcoholic so my thinking about protecting the kids from the dissolving disease I have the experience in this country and how the children growing in this country are very open very very open in a school where we have 200 students in 1980 I'm talking about when I thought about the Mirad-e-Navi when the students got up and say all these fairy tales and we should listen to them we cannot stop beating back India, Pakistan something happened playing to them what is Mirad-e-Navi so what I'm saying we have to teach them the basics of Islam what did Islam means when Islam started how the Islam, what is the meaning of Islam, who is a Muslim this is not happening we have become very educational institutional but the basic principle we have to teach them I mean it's my observation to tell them about when Islam started what meaning of Islam and how the Islam who is the last prophet and who are all the prophet before them they were Muslims so these are the things can you suggest something in the sort of faith crisis in the community right I mean it returns to people need to have access to knowledge but they also need to be inspired in that knowledge it's not enough just a lot of young kids I don't I have certain life commitments and these commitments were made by I don't teach Arabic I don't teach Quran I don't teach but just things I try to focus on but one of the realizations that a lot of kids who are who end up drifting it's not people don't drift because they say I don't believe this they drift above all because of a lack of faith that faith either weakens or it was never nurtured in the first place or it wasn't rooted it wasn't grounded in understanding and nourished through spirituality and inspiration so one aspect of it has to do with knowledge but the nature of our religion it's not so much about knowledge itself it's not so much about knowledge itself you need to root guidance in the heart and to do that we need to really have that in comprehensive concern and one aspect of it has to look at and we look at it positively that here, the people who are here all of us could be reaching out whether to be youth there's elders in our community I know in my own circle of family and my father's friends uncle types who are having crises of faith now that they have retired who are going into depression they believed in, no longer makes sense and they're really they're really confused my father he says I have to give people counseling on faith when I never thought myself to be a serious believer although masha'Allah he is a serious believer but he never thinks himself as such but there's all kinds of people who are lacking that light so we should look at it as it's an incredible opportunity we can do something for ourselves to help either guide or facilitate guides but what it requires, it begins with ourselves they say the one who doesn't have something cannot give it and one of the beautiful things of the Islamic tradition is that the manifestation of the Prophet's word that this religion is ease even in the way the religion is taught they didn't have clear understanding of Islamic beliefs just by you don't have to read books and books and books the texts, the ulema took away so much difficulty they authored texts that if someone if they're a religion they study a basic text over 4 or 5 classes and they study one more text just over 10-12 classes they'll have a sound understanding of Islamic beliefs and if they have maturity and so on they could explain it to someone else one of the beautiful things you see in many cities in the Muslim world and I used to see it regularly in Damascus I used to pass by that message on almost daily basis in Damascus you go there any time of the day except like late at night and there will always be little kids teaching littler kids because they just made a system and you see it in other places as well kids who are 10 or 11 would be teaching kids 7 or 8 teaching people who are studying their first text but we have to sit down and see almost like do a study in our community this is the broad range of our potential reach how many Muslims are there what's their demographic how can we reach them with whom we can have relations so that we can be assisting one another who can teach Quran how we can synergize our resources who do we have in our community what do we need to do to empower the members of our community to be able to reach the various demographics there's children there's these number of high schools in the area there's Muslims there people in primary school to really sit down and see these are the Muslims in our area how can we reach them what do we need to reach them we don't have enough Quran teachers we can sit back and say Allah grant us Quran teachers no you say and whoever seeks something and then they strive for it we'll find it so we have to sit down and come up and study how do we deal with these problems what would it require we need a lot more teachers of religion who are grounded what would it take we need to make some investments in that so 5 years down the road 10 years down the road what would it take and to build up to come up with a strategic plan as a community that how will we address this broader challenge and not to look at it because if we approach it that we are under siege here in North America and people are falling out if we look at it defeated we've lost already in everything even in the worldly challenges he was positive once all he had to eat was dry bread and left over vinegar and the Sahaba who were sitting with him none of them had anything else to give him but he smiled and said what a wonderful sauce is vinegar and they said the vinegar is still left over vinegar the Arabs wouldn't even call it vinegar look you know the leftover vinegar at the end but he called it vinegar even though it was still left over and the bread was dry and similarly in the Meccan phase when they were oppressed and so on he spoke with confidence that one day Allah swt will spread this message and so many times he talked about that to his companions Allah swt is true what we have to do is to live up to it and see this tremendous opportunity if you learn a little and live it with sincerity connect with scholars and seek their advice and be guided and you do it with that concern then we have a responsibility to the messenger of Allah swt who conveyed it to Allah swt was made as responsible for it for others of the good as they wish for it themselves but in the prophetic way which is not just to go and people to start teaching people just whatever they have understood but in a proper way connect with scholars and you are blessed in the bay area Allah swt will ask us about our blessings he has blessed us in the bay area with some of the most learned and the most beautiful scholars male and female that we have no excuse not to take up that challenge but we should have a strategy like seriously how will we address this challenge how will we live up to this opportunity because if we were to ask right now who can go and give khutbas in the high schools people will say I am not ready they said this is a responsibility that's an opportunity who can go and start some halaqas for the sisters who are in high school and they are showing interest in the end they say well why aren't they female scholars no be one of them you don't have to become a sheikh but learn something be ready to teach it and be in connection with scholars who are connected and so that they can say yes now you can do it and you do it seeking the pleasure of Allah swt with the concern of service so it is a big challenge it is a tremendous opportunity that Allah swt can use us in the way he has used the messengers and the form of satisfaction that Allah guides through you one person is better for you than the world that Allah contains and we have that opportunity here we should make the most of it and with that every land that Islam entered in Islam was preserved it was preserved and that is something we have to do our part in doing that but this is not happening in the al masjid it is easy to look at it in a dark way that there are so many failures there are so many failures but the prophetic way is to be conscious of our shortcomings that is also important to remember the successes and one of the things and if people were serious about it should consider this that it is very important to document successes as well that the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam one of the great imams of the spiritual path it says something really good it says it says something really good it says it says it is mentioned by the sha'ab and iman and others that reliance on Allah was the state of the messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and the taking of means was his example so whoever would seek to have his state or would claim his state let them hold fast to his example was the example his example was taking the means taking the best of means and the best of ways and if one does that then success is a promise from Allah swt they say that well we don't have any use coming in our message but the question to ask is not that is that are we following the best practices by which we would engage use in our communities I know there is a number of communities and I can mention some people want to see those examples but where people make strategic investments one of them is the canton mosque and dear friend of any of us they see his safi he was the messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam they realize that they have potential to reach many use but they weren't coming to the message what did they do instead of building bigger physical structures they invested initially in a part time use counselor but so many of you started coming they hired them full time but then they realized there are so many people coming and so many men and women they hired a full time female use counselor but they invested in their use they gave the basement of the message to the youth and these are from best practice how we reach youth so youth have a budget they decide how to spend the money they just have to get it approved but they decide how they spend that money on youth program and every time I go to the canton mosque youths like bursting from the seams other messengers if we follow best practices we can expect right results and if we don't take the right means and you say well where are the results it's kind of obvious the positive way is to see ok how can we as a community gather that wisdom gather that wisdom across North America there are many many beautiful practices there are many messengers where a lot of youth come out I think some messengers where I know some of the Imams they're kind of worried that these youth they should spend more time at home because they're just hanging out at the message there's one message on e-sports you can't identify the person this auntie she can't give me hard time I was there for 3 days at that message she says son please tell these young men to stop bouncing these balls in the house of Allah it creates an unconscious because any time we be at the message then we always use their same basketball because they have like several basketball courts just please tell them to stop bouncing balls in the house of Allah I know and I thought the wonderful thing is all these youth at the message but they've created that right atmosphere so part of it is that to look at what are people doing right and to build upon that the Prophet SAW when he came to Makkah Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala described the state at that time that corruption had spread in the oceans and in the lands by what the hands of men have brought yet when the Prophet SAW himself defined his mission he did not define it in a negative way that I have come to dispel darkness he said I was only sent to complete nobility and character he recognized the good that people had and he recognized that they were falling short of their potential so he saw that his message was to complete the good that they had and the potential for good that they had so similarly we can look at our community and become despondent and desperate and so many things are messed up but then look in another way how many other communities in such a short period of time have managed to establish as many institutions as the Muslim community has look at how many Masadis who studied the Deen and came back from the generation after our great leaders of Sheikh Hamza we have people who studied the Deen right here in the Bay Area and who are now teaching across the world Abu Latif and how long has it taken to happen there's many many successes so we should learn what are the good things that are happening and how can we benefit from the other good things that are happening, the best practices and have a thing of let's keep going forward look up and look back imagine the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam look at everything that's wrong in Mankah let's give up let's just go to a cave get back to worship you don't look back you're climbing a mountain if you look down you're going to fall so that's why it's steep and there's all kinds of terrible things happening there's amazing things happening people are becoming Muslim in the weirdest of ways this Monday this Friday I think she had that through Facebook I don't know if you guys even know Facebook has a chat service there's this girl from a Hindu family Imam Afroza and I met her in Perth and she was really Imam Afroza myself and Sheikh Yaqay but Sheikh Yaqay avoids the internet so Imam Afroza and I did the follow up and she was really moved by the program that the three of us did in Perth and she started asking questions and Hunter last Monday she messaged me online and said how do I give the Shahada it was simple I said first you should realize that you're probably already Muslim because one thing that's important it actually helps a lot when we're dealing with people who are considering Islam that when someone accepts belief in God belief in Allah and accepts that the prophet is a messenger of Allah and accepts his guidance between them and Allah they're already Muslim the Shahada is for them to be recognized as a Muslim in this world of life how would we know that Bill is a Muslim but between them and Allah once they believe once they have that belief they're Muslim but how do I say the Shahada you tell another Muslim this testification of faith so can I do it at any time you can do it now or you can go tell one of your friends I didn't tell them what I did I said to me I have to do it right now I said yeah possible I said how I can just call you on Facebook or you can go talk to one of your friends how do you call me on Facebook would you give me permission so you want to give the Shahada at the end so I called her right then she gave me permission I said how do you call me I said it's called Facebook chat there's a calling function it's free she was in Australia I called her it's very simple I said if you see Muslims they just do what they do you wash your face, your arms and then how do you pray you know the movements of prayer in each of the movements what do you call this that's the prayer that's the Hanadi prayer that's it people are because of all kinds of weird there's a lot of good going on people recognize that good and ask for increase while being aware of the challenges but not to fixate on the darkness not to fixate on the darkness and those who take the right means when I came back in 2007 I was over 6 or 10 years I asked one of my teachers he asked me he saw I was a bit hesitant he asked if I should I go back or not and he said something very profound I said well I'm fine with going back but my only concern is my children and he smiled he smiled and said my experience in life has been and he has dealt with people from all over the world etc my experience has been that if your state with Allah is good and you raise your children in a good way you should be expectant of good results wherever you are if you are not good and you don't raise your children in a good way then you should be surprised at the worst of things and the same thing applies in other relationships as well we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that he make us of those whose hearts are filled with hope but what is hope hope is seeking high matters and then taking the means of attaining them and that we realize that the giver is never living and that if we seek the best of matters with the best of intent in the best of ways to the best of our abilities and now we place our trust and confidence Allah that he does not let down anyone who places his trust in him truly wa sallallahu alayhi wa sahbihi wa sallam alayhi wa sahbihi wa sallam alayhi wa sahbihi wa sahbihi wa sahbihi