 Kelly says, hi, I'm getting out of a relationship that was verbally abusive He still thinks he did nothing wrong and I am the one who is being prideful How can I heal and not attract the same kind of man? so you have to find out what's going on with you and what kind of damage was done and You need to get off this whole thing about Him thinking that he did nothing wrong because that doesn't matter that matters not at all What he thinks and how he feels about whether he did or didn't do anything wrong Absolutely doesn't matter and the more you think about that and I know you're thinking about it because you're posting about it The more you think about that the it's just it's not valuable to you in your life what you need to do is figure out what's going on in your mind just pay attention to what's going on in your mind and What you want to do is start you can heal in a whole bunch of different ways There's some people that tell you you need to go back to the past and spend time thinking about it and really go through the emotions That's one way you can do it that way. That's not a problem. You can do that you release the energy and You come into a new space. That's one way that you can do it Another way and am I am my and in my opinion, it's a better way is to change your story So the way that you change your story So for instance when I was younger and for a large part of my life, I believe that I wasn't worthy I wasn't worthy of love. I wasn't worthy of a great relationship. I wasn't worthy of having great people in my life and When I when I was a teenager what happened that kind of triggered that really hard for me was at one point I was living with my mom and my parents were divorced and like my mom was kind of the one that I was I wanted to connect with more and What ended up happening at one point was she just I was kind of a troubled child, right? I got into a lot of fights. I did a lot of drugs, you know and by the time I was 13 I was getting kicked out of school all the time and so One day what my mom did was she just dropped me off of her at my dad's house and never came back for me and she didn't tell me that she was doing that and I figured it out when I was over there and The first day at school like it was just totally shocking to me and it You know felt like I was betrayed first day at school the next week I I got kicked out of school and my dad sent me to spend a bunch of about six months at a psychiatric ward and During that time when I was at the psychiatric ward I numbed a lot of my emotions and then when I when I got out My dad sent me to go live with my grandmother and so as you could imagine I had all these Ideas about how I was abandoned and how I wasn't worthy and how there was nothing I could do to to Be worthy of love and so I spent a large portion of my life Trying to prove that I was worthy Accomplished all kinds of crazy things and you know joined these elite Military units, you know got amazing Did amazing in university? I you know created this amazing business You know I was doing a lot of these things so that I could feel like I was worthy of love and One of the things that I ended up realizing and doing was I figured out that You know, I took a look be before that right so that was my story That was the story that I held on to and I took through my life for a large portion of my life and so My story was I'm abandoned. I'm not good enough, right? that was the identity that I had and and my My goal was to prove that I was worthy and that I was good enough Well, I changed my story and the way that I changed my story was I looked back before This time period where I decided that I was abandoned and that I wasn't worthy and all that kind of stuff and what I figured out was that For most of my life, I was actually loved and that my parents loved me absolutely like amazingly and I was born in love and When you come from a story where your identity is now, I'm I'm born in love, you know, I'm blessed. I'm I'm amazing. I'm you know loved that Changes everything in your life and all of a sudden you go from this person trying to prove yourself To other people and trying to feel significant so that you can you can deserve love to this guy who or this woman who is Willing to contribute who comes from a space of love who has enough love already within themselves And who just wants to give it to others who just wants to to spread that love around the world and and Help other people feel love and help bring other people up and help help change other people's lives and help them feel and experience what it's like to know that they're loved and So that's my suggestion is that you figure out what what is your story? What's your identity? What are the beliefs that are holding you back and then change that you know shift it and Start believing that that you are a woman who deserves a great man A woman who deserves to be cherished a woman who deserves a great guy who treats you the way that you want to be treated Because when you come from a space like that when you come from a space of knowing that you you were born in love Knowing that that you are love that you you have more than enough you have abundance in your life You're not it's not scarce. It's love isn't a scarce resource We all we all have it inside of us Then you can come to a situation with a man where you're connecting with him on a completely different level and in a completely different way it's a totally different experience when you when a guy meets a woman who is coming from a space of lack and I need to get Love from you. I need to get connection from you. Please give it to me I'm broken and When a guy comes to a woman and she's coming from a space of love coming from a place where she can give Because she doesn't have a lack of it She doesn't need to hold on to it and get it from other people And it's just a totally different experience and a high-quality man wants to be around a woman who is Experiencing love who's happy who's excited about her life who's creating the life that she wants to live That's exciting. That's amazing. That's great So my suggestion is that you focus on that and take some time to work on that