 Alright, so I got a question from this guy and he's wondering, he can't find any wings to go out with him so he's going out by himself so he goes out with no wingmen, no buddies and he's wondering what are some strategies that he can use to be successful when going out solo. So not only am I going to answer this guy's question, I'm going to do him one better. I'm going to give him a step by step process for going out by yourself. I'm going to teach you how to go out, pick up a girl, get her phone number, do whatever completely on your own and I'm also going to teach you how to turn your hometown into somewhere that's really good for you to go out by yourself and also how to implement this while you're traveling, where you're in areas that you're only in for a short amount of time. So before I even get into this I should actually say that I am an expert on this subject. When I was learning how to get good with women, when I was learning how to get my verbal, whatever skills up, I would go out by myself at least once a week. I was going out probably like five or six nights a week, every single week for years, but at least one of those days of the week I would go out completely on my own. And it wasn't because I liked going out by myself, I don't like going out by myself, but it was because I was so committed to going out that when even people, none of my friends wanted to go out, I would still go out, talk to girls, try and meet people, do that sort of thing. I also was in Asia for about a year, 100% by myself and I was just traveling around solo. So obviously when you're in this environment, you have to get good at meeting people, you have to get comfortable with yourself and you have to also be able to be completely independent and self-sufficient. So let's get right into it. The first step is to have the right mindset. Even before you leave the house, even before you go to the place that you're going to go to, you need to realize that it's totally okay to be going out by yourself, alright? You might feel like a complete fucking loser, you might feel like a loner, you might feel like you don't belong or there's something wrong with you or all these feelings kind of crop up when you're not, when you feel ostracized from the group when you see other people going out and you're walking to the bar or whatever and people are already in groups, they're talking to each other and you're just kind of by yourself and you don't know anybody there. It sucks. It can be pretty hard and that's why going out by yourself is one of the hardest things to do but it's also one of the most invaluable things to do if you want to improve your skills with people because it's going to force you to rely only on yourself, not on other people to make the night good. And what you have to realize is that really social people, people who know how to make friends with other people easily do this all the time because when they go out they kind of consider the world or the people that are out to be, you know, their potential friends or people that they could hang out with. They usually assume that a person is going to be nice to them rather than mean to them. It's because they've been out so many times, they're good with people, they're sociable and it's that easy. I want that mindset to happen to you guys. Realize you're not a complete loser for going out by yourself, you're strong, you're brave, and on top of that you're going to gain some great knowledge and skills from doing this sort of stuff. In fact, most people, if you talk to them, most guys out there, they will give you props for going out by yourself. Most girls will, you know, think that that's courageous thing. There's only a few girls out there, especially the young ones, that may judge you for it, okay? And these are like the young girls that would never even think twice to leave their friends for even to go to the bathroom or something when they go out. They might think that you're a little weird for doing that, that's just because they haven't stepped outside of their comfort zone. You don't need those girls anyway. If you come to talk to them, you can just lie and say your friends are at another bar or something like that. Step number two is the night starts as soon as you leave your house, okay? If you're going out at night or going out during the day, it starts as soon as you leave the house. It doesn't start when you get to the bar, it doesn't start after you're done checking your code in at the club. It starts as soon as you leave the house. If you're getting on a train, if you're getting, taking a lift line or something, whatever, make conversation with the people around you. Start talking to people, okay? If you see a girl on the train, maybe talk to her and find out where she's going. Maybe she could join you at the bar that you're going to or wherever it is your destination is, okay? Start as soon as you leave. The longer you wait to start talking to people, the longer you wait to start being social, the harder your night is going to be, okay? I've done this before where I've gone out by myself and then I would not talk to anyone in line at the bar and then I would get into the bar and still not talk to anyone, have a drink, then think, oh, you know, I'm going to go to the bathroom and then I'll go to the bathroom and then I'll come back, finish my beer, then order another one, still wouldn't talk to people. And you see how like you get into this pattern of just doing things because you're nervous and then you never end up approaching, you never end up talking to girls or anybody, you know? Talk to anyone when you go out. Once you start getting into the social mode, things are going to start to get a lot easier, okay? It doesn't matter who you start talking to, but start talking to somebody. Step number three is choose a place to go to at first that's familiar, okay? If you live in a hometown, maybe there's a bar that you frequent or maybe there is like a place where you like to eat a lot where you know the owners or something like that. Anywhere that's familiar, try and start out there, okay? The reason why I say this is because you want to feel like you're at a home base. You want to feel like you're starting out in a place that's familiar to you because it's going to calm the nerves a little bit. Now let's say you're in a new area, you don't have anywhere familiar. Something that I like to do is I like to, if I can't get a friend to come out with me, sometimes I'll call a friend up and say, hey dude, I'm about to go out by myself, blah, blah, blah, this is going to happen. And then usually if my friend's a good friend, he'll call me a pussy, tell me to stop being a bitch, and then he'll like give me some encouragement to like go out. But hearing a familiar voice, hearing your friend's voice or something like that will just kind of let you know that, you know, you've got friends, you've got people that got your back just because they're not out with you right now. It doesn't mean they don't exist. And it can help you start the night, give you a little bit of encouragement. Step number four is this goes back to the previous thing that I was talking about. Start talking to anyone and create a home base. Now what I mean by this is this is a group of people in the night that you know who you've befriended, who you can go back to if when you start talking to girls, things don't go well. This is a group of people that will accept you and re-accept you back into their group. This is not going to be a group of like 9s and 10s of, you know, really hot girls. This is going to be a group of probably dudes, or of probably ugly fat girls or something like that. Just girls maybe that you're not interested in. This is going to be that group, okay? You're going to go back to them, you're going to talk to them, you're going to shoot the shit, they're going to be your buddies and it's going to give you kind of like something familiar to come back to in any case if things don't go bad. This is probably going to be your most important people because at the beginning of the night at least they're going to be the people that you're spending the most time with, okay? The way I would kind of go into the group is I would say, you know, hey, what's up? How's your night going, you guys? Maybe just make casual conversation with them. They should be pretty warm and friendly to you. And then when they ask you, you know, what are you doing? Sometimes I like to be honest. Sometimes I like to say, hey, you know, my friends are kind of boring tonight. So I decided to come up by myself and usually they'll admire that and they'll say, you know, why don't you hang out with us or something like that? Or, you know, you're free to kick it with us if you want to. Usually if you find a good group of people, they'll be willing to do this. I mean, I do it for people who are going out by themselves and like I'm with a pretty cool crew and I'm not trying to like... I mean, I usually take people in, honestly, if they would just want to kick it. If they're not, you know, make sure you're contributing to the group. Make sure you're not being a fucking asshole. Make sure you're not taking anything away from them or like trying to, I don't know, do things that would devalue the group that you're in. Step number five is handle objections. Now, I just gave you a little bit of a clue in the last step about how to do this. But basically this is when people come up to you and they're like, so where are your friends or like, you know, who you hear with? You'll get these questions a lot and people tend to panic. They say, oh, well, I can't tell about them by myself. So they lie and they come up with a shitty lie or something like that. Look, you can lie if you want to. That's totally fine. If you want to have a perfect lie, just say, hey, you know, I was with my buddy, but he went home with somebody or, you know, my friends got drunk. They're at a different bar right now. I just kind of like to go with honesty. I usually just say, you know, my friends are kind of being lame tonight. So I decided to come up by myself or, you know, you can if you kind of know the bartender, you can just say, hey, I came to see my friend. He's the bartender here. That could be a good plus too. Knowing the bartender is always nice because then she knows that you're established within the, you know, within the area that you are in. So that's good too. But honestly, it's just the way you handle it. You know, you have to make it seem like it's no big deal. If you're really uncomfortable with you being out by yourself, then she's going to see that she's going to see that you're uncomfortable. And, you know, whatever you feel, she feels, she's going to feel uncomfortable with that too, because clearly you're not comfortable with it. But if you are out by yourself and it does come up and you do admit it to her and you're totally cool, then it's no big deal to you. Guess what? It's going to be no big deal to her as well. Step number six is proceed through the night as you normally would. Okay. Now that you have a home base, you basically have a group of friends that you're spending time with now. This could be your buddies. These could be your wings or whatever, but you just met them. Okay. So you have that. Now you can go about your night the usual way you go about it. And usually this group of people will be amused by you. They'll be amused that you're going up and talking to a bunch of girls. At the very least, it'll be entertaining, entertaining for them. So there's that. I usually like to, if I'm with, if I'm hanging out with a group of people that are like couples and stuff, they usually get a huge kick out of it. Cause they miss being single and they use, miss that the whole adventure behind it so they can kind of live vicariously through you. And then it'll kind of endear yourself to the group as well, because you can tell them your funny stories, everything to happen. Oh, this chick said this and I said that. You can kind of talk about it and banter a little bit. So continue with your night as you usually would once you find a girl that's really into you, try and move around, you know, you know, do the whole thing, get physical, blah, blah, blah. Continue your night with there. And that's step six. That's the final step of the process for going out solo. Basically you've created a system now where now you don't have to go out with wings. You can make wings as you go, meet people as you go, be sociable, but do those steps. This is going to really cut down on the amount of nerves that you have when you go out, because I'll tell you what going out while you're by yourself is one of the most nerve wracking things and hardest things for sure. But if you want to get good and you want to improve your social skills, this is something that you're going to need to be able to do by yourself. So this is what I would recommend to do if you have a home base, where you're like, when you're starting, let's say you live in a city and you know you're going to be in that city for a while. This is how you can make going out by yourself the easiest thing ever. So every time you go out, make friends with the bouncer, make friends with the bartender, ask them how their night's going, ask them how the bartender's night's going. Remember their names. Okay. Remember their names. I guarantee you 99% of the people that walk into that bar, they're not asking the bouncer how they're doing. They're just kind of walking by and doing their own thing. But if you take the time to ask them about their night, ask them about how they're doing, remember their name, they're going to remember you. And now you know the bouncer, you know the bartender, you're not alone at that bar anymore. Okay. Every time you walk in there, when those people are working, you know people. And knowing the bartender and being friends with the bouncer is actually a really very socially conscious and high value thing to do. People who go out are well known in the nightlife. They're more attractive because they have the social connections and everything. Their social value is higher because they know these people. So even if you don't go out with a wing or anything, if you know the places that you frequent, if you know the staff there, if you know maybe some of the people that usually frequent there a lot, you're going to be just by the work that you've put in. You're going to have high social value, even though you didn't leave with any of your buddies or anything like that. So try and establish and meet people within the areas that you go to, make friends in your area. And that way you can just say, hey, you know what? I want to go out on a Friday. You know the bartender, you know the bouncer, you know, some of the staff there. It feels like you're at home. And whenever a girl is in those, is in one of those areas, it feels like you're picking them up in your backyard or it feels like, Hey, what are you doing in my front yard? You know, like it's, it feels totally normal. It cuts down on the approach anxiety and all those things that really hamper you when you first start going out by yourself. Now, if you're traveling and you're going, you know, you're, you're only going to be in an area for a very short amount of time. It's usually pretty easy to meet people if you're at a hostel or something like that, but if you're at a hotel and you don't have time, again, I would go by the principles that I just stated, but you have to go by them pretty solidly. Like start talking to people pretty, pretty soon, pretty quickly. All right. Well, that's going out solo. Hopefully I answered this guy's questions. Hopefully this helped you guys out when it comes to going out solo. They know there's a lot of like information pieces out there that's mostly intergame, but hopefully this is enough practical information that's going to help you kill it out there when you go out by yourself. If you made it to the end, consider subscribing. I come out with videos like this every single week. If you're a guy who's going out solo, who really wants to take your results up to the next level, I highly recommend that you get a coach. It's what I did. It's what a lot of my buddies have done. And that's really like, we're going to help you get the results. We're not going to let you fail. You're going to get those results if you get one. So if you're interested in that, email me at the single guy 2017 at gmail.com. And that's it, you guys. Good luck out there.