 Depression and mental illnesses are different for everyone. With this list, we are not trying to generalize. Instead, we've compiled certain things individuals with depression have disclosed they struggle with. Can you relate to any of these or know someone who might? Here are 11 things people with depression would like their family and friends to understand. 1. It's not as simple as eating healthier and exercising more. While we appreciate you trying to help us, the underlying condition isn't always solved that easily. It still feels like our feelings are being invalidated if things aren't phrased carefully. 2. It's not always easy to understand why things are this way. Depression doesn't always have a specific trigger, it just happens. It's more complicated than just feeling sad because we got a bad grade. Assumptions like these are diminishing our experiences. 3. Sometimes there's no emotion, sometimes there's too much. It often isn't very clear why either. We'd like to understand it better ourselves, but depression can make you feel a wide variety of confusing things. 4. It's not that we're not trying hard enough. No one wants to have depression. Telling us this when we are trying our hardest is dismissing our struggle. It's hurtful. 5. We can't just snap out of it. If it was possible to simply get over it, we would have done it a long time ago. It's not a mood that you can come out of when you're done. 6. We don't want to hurt others. We hate to feel like an annoyance because of our illness. We don't want to cause the people around us pain because of what we're going through. 7. We feel like a burden. Reassurance might not magically solve our depression, but it can help us open up a better feelings. We need validation that we're not an annoyance to be able to relax around you. 8. We appreciate your efforts. We notice you trying to help us and we are very grateful. Reaching out to us is already a ray of light. But please remember. 9. We aren't asking you to fix us. Being there for us and showing that you're trying to understand is enough. We aren't asking you for solutions and as well-intended as it may be, sometimes we just need someone who will listen. 10. It's not your fault. There's no one single factor that causes depression. It's an illness. Certain things can contribute to it, but it's nobody's fault. 11. We appreciate you asking what you can do for us. Sometimes it's not easy for us to pinpoint what we need. That's why some people might find it easier if you ask more specific things like, can I get you some tea maybe? Want to go for a walk? It might not seem like much, but it might help a person realize what they really need at the moment. Do you have any other things you wish your friends and family would understand?