 The Great Gilder Sleeve. A special rebroadcast for all you soldiers, sailors and marines of the United Nations. Listen to another amazing episode in the life of the Great Gilder Sleeve. Now let's see what the Great Gilder Sleeve is up to. Last week you remember he volunteered to help Judge Hooker press his suit with a dancing teacher, Mr. Loris Del Ray. And when we left him he was really putting his heart into it. Now it seems not content with helping the judge, he wants to help Miss Del Ray. Proving that in the summer field at least, knighthood is still in flower. Judge, have a cigar. Don't care if I do. Gildy, I'd like to take this opportunity of thanking you again for your efforts on my behalf of Miss Del Ray. Or Delores, as I now feel privileged to call her. Well, it was a pleasure, Horace, a pleasure. Always happy to oblige. You found her more receptive, I trust, since I called on her. She's taken to calling me Horusito. Well, Horusito. Yeah, Horusito. What does that mean, Gildy? Horusito, it's a term of endearment. I know. It means little jackass. I trust you're jesting. Well, actually it means little Horus. Same thing though. Dr. Morton, if you just got me over here to insult me. Now keep your rompers on, Judge. After all, we both have the same thing at heart. What's that? To give Miss Del Ray a helping hand. Look, Gildy, I asked you to break the ice for me with this young lady. You did so. Thank you very much. Now I'll take over from there. Horus, is that any attitude? That little girl's got a hard row to hoe, Judge. And if we can help her with the hoeing. Not easy to come into a strange town and get a dancing school started, you know. Well, I'm thinking about that, Gildy. If we could arrange somehow for her to meet a select group of the more prominent people in Summerfield. That's easy. We'll throw a reception. I don't think this reception should be thrown exactly, Gildy. We must keep it high-toned. Well, of course. The important thing is to see that it's socially need-plus ultra. Need-plus? Because if she can get the society, people the others will follow. Judge, I'll be only too happy to give such a reception right here. What's matter with my house? Everything. In the first place, you haven't got to cook. Well, that's so. But I get half the credit, remember? Naturally, and half the bills, too. Well, who will we invite now? Mrs. Pettibone, of course. Oh, sure. And Eve Goodwin. She's artistic and all that. Let's each make up a list, Judge. You invite some, and I'll invite the others. I know. Leela Ransom. She has all those high-toned Southern relatives. Well, now, Leela might take a little handling. Oh, nonsense. Leela loves parties. But a party given for another woman? Oh, no, Judge. This is going to take finesse. You better leave Leela to me. Bye, George. This is good cake, Leela. I'm glad I dropped in to see. Just on account of the cake, Drachma? How can you say that? What's cake to me? I don't know. Sometimes I wish you'd look at me like you'd look at a chocolate cake. I'd rather look at you any time, Leela. Did you have any special reason you wanted to see me? No, no. No reason. Just wanted to. And Leela, did you ever think of trying to improve your dancing? Wow. That's a strange question for you to ask anyone, Drachma. Well, I didn't mean it that way, Leela. I've been considered very light on my feet. Oh, certainly. Light is a feather. I just wondered if you'd let it go. Let it go. Why don't you eat that other piece of cake, Leela? Why don't you? Well, I wouldn't want to see it go to waste. Mmm, mighty good. I'm glad you like it. By the way, Leela, Judge Hooker and I are giving a party this Saturday. A party? How exciting. You and home? Will you come, Leela? Of course I'll come. How do you and Horace happen to be giving it together? Well, the guest of honor is a friend of his. Then why doesn't Horace give it? This person is sort of a friend of mine, too. Who's the guest of honor, Throckmorton? Miss Dolores Del Ray. I don't believe I know Miss Del Ray. Well, no, she's new here. She's a lady that's opening the dancing school there on State Street next to the... I think you like her, Leela. Is she the person you expect to improve my dying sense? Oh, uh, I was only joking about that. She'll probably improve mine. I'm sorry, Throckmorton. I'm afraid I can't come after all. Leela, you've got to come. Everybody will be there. Who, Finston? Well, as a matter of fact, you're the first one I've asked. Except the Pettibolds. Are they coming? Uh, no, they have an engagement. So have I. But you said you'd come. It happens that I love business parties, Throckmorton. This isn't business, Leela. This is strictly personal. Oh! Oh. I mean, oh, I don't know what I mean. I think I know, Throckmorton, and I must beg to be excused. Oh, for confounding, Leela, the trouble with you is you're a snob. I told you I have an engagement. Well, I don't believe it any more than I believe the Pettibolds. He's good when there's no snob. She's a teacher herself. She'll know how it is. Well, hello, Throckmorton. Come in. Thanks, Eve. I can't stay for a minute. You're a lucky man. I just baked a cake. You did? Well, that's fine, Eve. I'm not very... Ah! You're hungry. Excuse me. Eve, you're interested in education, aren't you? Well, as a school teacher, I have what you might call an academic interest in it. Now, if you knew of a worthy educational institution that was trying to get started, you'd support it, wouldn't you? I suppose so. Great. Will you come to a party and honor the lady that's starting a new dancing school next to Beckman's drugstore? Well, really, from the build-up, I thought you were going to ask me to be president of a college. This is serious, Eve. This young lady, her name is Dolores Del Ray. She's trying to start this worthy enterprise, and Judge Hooker and I want to help her meet the right people. I see. You'll come, won't you, Eve? I mean, with your interest in education and all that. I'm afraid I'm not interested in education in quite the same way you and Judge Hooker are. What do you mean? Well, I passed Miss Del Ray's establishment yesterday. It has a sign in the window that says, um, men be popular. Learn the tango and rumba from a real senderita. And her picture. Now, Eve, she has to make a living. You'll come, won't you? I'm sorry, Throckmorton. I have an engagement. What's the matter with this town anyway? Some women, I don't understand any women. It's because the girl's been on the stage. It's because she's good-looking. Well, the PVs may not be society, exactly, but at least they're home folks. I wonder if they've gone to bed. Still, there's a light. Hello, PV. Well, this is an unexpected pleasure. Come in. Well, just for a minute. I hope you weren't on your way to bed. No. As a matter of fact, Mrs. PV retired a few minutes ago, but I usually set up for a final word from Raymond Graham Swing. Take it, Coco? No, thanks. I can't stay. Just dropped in to tender you an invitation. You and Mrs. PV. Oh, no, that's really nice. I'm sure that Mrs. PV and I will be on it too. Saturday night, PV, nine o'clock. The judge and I are giving a reception of ours, Miss Del Ray. Miss Del... Oh, isn't that the young lady you were telling us about at the poker party the other night? Well, it's the same girl, but I found upon closer acquaintance that I misjudged her, PV. Uh, Floyd Munson tells me she's a dancer. Don't pay any attention to anything Floyd tells you. She does dance, however. That is, she teaches dancing. You think she'll do her dance Saturday night? I don't know what kind of dancing you're thinking of, PV, but I assure you she's very high class. The tango and so on. All very artistic. Speaking of artistic dances, I recall the time I took Mrs. PV to the World's Fair in Chicago. This is nothing like the World's Fair. The old girl never got over it, she... She claims to this day that I took her in there on purpose. I did, too. Well, well, very amusing. We can count on you, then, for tomorrow night? Well, speaking for myself, Mr. Joseph, I wouldn't miss it, but perhaps I'd better just run upstairs and check with Mrs. PV first. Come in, sit down. I want to see you in a minute. Well, I see you have a canary. Yes, it's a new one. The other one passed on. I guess you heard it. It was very sad. Uh-oh. Too bad. Perhaps it was all for the best. This one's named Dickey Bird. Mrs. PV, hand them after me. Looks a little like you, too, PV. You're always gushing, Mr. Gillespie. Cute little rascal, isn't he? Does he sing? No, he sings beautifully. So, there, tell me, he hasn't sung a note since we got him. Mrs. PV thinks his diet is wrong. Diet, huh? Hello there, Dickey. This is Mr. Gillespie, Dickey. Aren't you going to sing for him? Come on, Dickey. Let's hear you sing. Tweet, tweet. You see, wrong diet. Well, you entertain Mr. Gillespie, Dickey. Well, I run upstairs and speak to Mrs. PV. It won't be a minute. I make it a point never to accept an invitation without checking with her first and saved argument later. Tell us formal, PV. Hi there, Dickey. Let's hear you sing. Come on. Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. You won't sing, huh? I don't know why I should sing. Listen, you heard me sing. All right, don't sing. Come on, Dickey, sing for your old uncle Mark. Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. Come on, hop up on my finger. Come on. Ow! Bite me, will you? I'll break every bone in your little yellow body. Yeah, making friends, Mr. Gillespie. Friends, this darn bird of yours just bit me. Bit you. Yes, bit me. No, I know his diet's wrong. What he needs is me. That's a dangerous bird, PV. You shouldn't have him around. I've never known him to attack anyone before. I'll get you some iodine. No, I'll just suck it. I've got to be going, PV. A million things to do. I'll be seeing you in the Mrs. Saturday night then at nine. Oh, Mr. Gillespie, about that. Yeah? I'm afraid perhaps you'd better not count on us for Saturday night. No, why not? Well, it seems that the... I mean, you see, well, the fact is it seems we have an unexpected engagement. All right, PV. You don't come if you don't want to. But I'd just like to say this. Of all the liars I've ever met, you're the poorest. Well, no, no. Wouldn't say that. Oh, good night. Sorry, sorry. I don't like doing that to Mr. Gillespie. I don't feel right about it. I don't like telling fibs anyway. Richard! All right, woman. All right. Good gracious to bet you, sometimes I just ought to shut up. The weather's again in just a few seconds. Already been busy for some time in preparation for tonight's party. We find him now checking over the invitation list with Judge Hooker. Well, how many people did you get, Judge? How many did you get? I asked you first. Well, the list itself didn't turn out too favorably. Apparently, there are a number of social events taking place this evening. Yeah, how many of your people are coming? None of them. None of them? You're a fine one to give a party with, Hooker. Well, doggone it. How many of your lists are coming? None, but mine all had good reasons. So did mine. Besides, I went ahead and invited someone else. So did I. When you hear who I got, just the most important woman in this town, that's all. Oh, who is she? A woman that can make her break this dancing screw with her little finger. Come on, who? This is Harlow Vandevoorde. She's president of the Summerfield Choral Society, the Summerfield Friends of Chamber Music, and just about everything artistic in town. You don't have to tell me. And she's rich as a fool, Gildy. If she okays this dancing screw, believe me, it's okay. Well, that part sounds good. Now, who do you get, Gildy? Uh, Floyd Munson and his wife. What? Floyd Munson the barber? What's the matter with being a barber? Barbering is an honorable profession. Profession has nothing to do with it. I won't have Floyd Munson at this party. Why not? Floyd's a good fellow? Yes, and I dare say his wife is all right, too. But the object of this party was to present Miss Del Ray to the Cream of Summerfield Society. And the Munsons are not the Cream. Well, doggone at Horace, we had to get somebody. Yeah, I don't suppose you can tell Floyd not to come now. Could you ask him please to watch his step? Well, don't worry about him, Judge. Now, about Miss Del Ray, if she'd like me to call for her. That's all been arranged. I'm taking care of that personally. Oh, pretty slick, aren't you? I'm learning. Well, I've got to be running along now, old man. See you this evening. Adios, Horacito. Buenos dias, amigo. Oh, where'd you learn that? You can't be starving, my boy. You've just had dinner. Uh-oh, I've got a customer. Is my cap on straight, Miss Gillsley? Looks fine, Bertie. Well, it won't stay. He's going to fall in the punch before the evening's over, and I know it. I'll scoot upstairs, Leroy. The guests are arriving. Good evening, Bertie. Good evening, Judge. Evening, ma'am. Oh, well, couldn't I just stay in the meter? Well, just for a minute. Let's stay out of the punch. Senorita, welcome to our humble abode. I kiss the stars in your honor. Is he kidding? Hi, Judge. Hi. Take the lady's rat, will you? Oh, everything looks so lovely. And this little man? Uh, this is my nephew, Leroy. Hi. Oh, I think he's cute. Yes. Say good evening, Miss Delray. Good evening, Miss Delray. Like a little man. Yes. I'm sorry my niece can't be down this evening. She has a sore throat. Good evening, Leroy. Dolores, may I escort you to the punch bowl? Oh, I am very fond of punch. And on to the punch bowl. We may as well dive in before the others get here. Leroy? Hey, Uncle, she's not bad. Your uncle knows what he's doing. Hey, Uncle, do you think they're real? Think what are real? The eyelashes. That's a... That's a silly question. Of course they're real. That's some dress she's wearing. Oh, yes, she has excellent taste. There's one thing I'd like to know. What holds it up? That doesn't... You're a bad Leroy. Go on. That judge and helpful lady got to eat them up. She's been with us a long time. Good evening, ma'am. Come right in. Oh, it must be Mrs. Vandervoort. Excuse me, Dolores. Me too. Mrs. Vandervoort, old Dutch family. Very important. Be right back. Don't go away. Oh, it's you, Judge. Good evening. Good evening, dear lady. Have I the pleasure of addressing Mrs. Vandervoort? You have. Allow me to do the honors. Mrs. Vandervoort, may I present my distinguished friend, Throckmorton Gildersleeve. How do you do? I had my chauffeur park in your driveway. I hope he won't be in the way there. Oh, not in the slightest. Love to have him there. Beastly weather, isn't it? Oh, just the usual summer field weather I'm afraid. Take the ladies' wraps, Judge. So good of you to come to our little soiree, Mrs. Vandervoort. Well, life in summer field is so dreary at best. I feel anything that can be done to raise the cultural level is worth the effort. Oh, how right you are. I'd give a lot for a little culture right now. Come, I'd like you to meet our guest of honor, Senorita Del Rey. I understand she's an exponent of the dance. Oh, yes, very talented, very artistic. What type of dancing does she specialize in? Oh, she does them all. Your rhythmic? No, she's Spanish, Spanish descent. Senorita Del Rey, meet Mrs. Vandervoort. She had the chauffeur park or limousine in the driveway. Oh, I'm most happy, madame. Mr. Gildersley tells me you dance. Oh, a little. Just being modest, her dancing will knock your eye out. Oh, please. She plays the piano too. Like a million dollars and sings. Oh, how nice. Perhaps you'll play for us later. Mr. Gildersley failed to mention that he sings too. And beautifully. Well, perhaps you'll boo. Oh, not just now, thank you. Oh, God, I made a whole mess of them. Well, just one, though I shouldn't. Oh, if one was Vandervoort, grab a fistful, ain't gonna be no good tomorrow. There's the bell again, I've got it. Been with us a long time. That is a jewel. Commissioner at home? Yes, sir, come right in. This is the place, honey. It's the Monsons. Now, Floyd, don't watch his step. All right. You ladies, excuse me, please. The judge will see that you're supplied with punch. Well, hi, Commissioner. Good evening, Floyd. Like to have you meet the ball and chain. Ruthie, shake hands with the commissioner. Well, well, it's about time I met you. After all, I heard about you from the stupid here. Ruthie's a great kidder. Quite a night out, isn't it? Great night for ducks. You'd like to hang your coat up in the closet there? Oh, just chuck it down, anyways. I'm getting her a new one, so I hear. I'll hang it up. I'll hang it up just in case. I know better to tie it on Big Mouse here. Great kidder. Yes. Floyd, we've got a guest here. Mrs. Vandivert. Very high class. Watch it a little bit with you. You don't have to worry about me, Commissioner. I wasn't brung up in no barn. I know, Floyd, but just mention it to your wife, too, will you? You don't have to worry about her either. She'll be okay. I'll admit she tends to get a little excited and crowds. If she gets out of line, I'll handle her. Great, great. Well, it was nice of you to ask us to your shindig, Mr. Gildersleeve. You know, I was saying to Floyd, I ain't had this best out in four years. Hey, where's all the people? Oh, I suspect they're in the dining room around the punch bowl. Punch bowl? Leave me, too. For me? This way, folks. Push in your straight front, handsome. You're bulging again. Don, thing keeps popping out. For two cents, I'd take it off. Mrs. Vandivert, I'd like to present Mr. Munson. Mrs. Vandivert had the chauffeur Parker Limousie in the driveway. Yeah, I noticed it out there. That's quite a bus you got there, Mrs. Vandilip. What kind of mileage you get on it? I bet it eats up the gas, huh? I really couldn't say. Well, I drive an olds myself. It's no Cadillac, but then it's transportation, you know what I mean? Hey, don't I get to meet the lady? Oh, pardon me. Mrs. Vandivert, Mrs. Munson. How do you do? We used to meet up with you. Say, who's the, uh, little armful over there? Oh, and Mrs. Delry, Delores. Yes. I'd like to have you meet my friends, Mr. and Mrs. Munson. Any friend of Mr. Gildes leaves a friend of mine. Say, that's all right. Uh, by the way, the commissioner's been telling me quite a lot about you. Oh, yes? Tell me what he says about me. Right here in public, you want me to get arrested? Now, if you and me was to have a little private conversation, I might be able to. All right, junior, keep your shite on. Shall we go into the parlor? Oh, Mr. Munson, Mr. Gildesley didn't tell me. What line of work are you in? Well, me? Oh, I got it. Hey, shall we go into the parlor? Of the four stars of a duna called... Ain't she something? You don't have to sit there giving her the eye. Who's giving her the eye? I got to show my appreciation, don't I? I got to at least be polite. You don't have to fall all over yourself about it. Who's fallen all over myself? No, you big log, I've been watching you. Finger finger, I'll leave it to anybody here if I've been in any ways out of line this evening. Now, Floyd, please... I'll leave it to the lady herself. Floyd! This isn't the first time, Floyd Munson. Mrs. Munson, really, you must... I've... Our keys. Vandivert, it's only the shank of the evening. You're not going to let a little family misunderstand you. I'm afraid the misunderstanding was mine, Mr. Gildesley, from the beginning. My rap, please. Oh, gosh, well, if you won't change your mind, I'm sorry this had to happen, Mrs. Vandivert. Be careful, watch it backing Mrs. Vandivert out of the driveway. Don't scratch it. Good night, Mrs. V. Well, let him go. At least now we can relax and have some fun. It's been a charming evening, Throckmorton. Judge Delores, you're not going. The judge is kindly offered to see me home. Of course you can't do this to me. You can't go now. We're in this together. I'm sorry, Gildesley, but we have Ms. Delores's career to think of. What do you suppose I've been thinking of? Well, if you're to use your head a little bit. Good night. Wait a minute. What are we going to do? We've got all this food here. Well, that's a thanks you get. Pass a little remark and right away everybody gets sore. Are you still here? Get out! Go on, get out! Now, commissioner. Get out! Okay, I can take a hint. Not your fault, Floyd. By George, this is the last time I ever try to help anybody. Positively. Why is it nothing ever works out? Well, let him go. All of them. Delores too. What do I care? After all, she's just another woman. What's a woman? Just a rag, a bone and a hank of hair. A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. I just settle down here and he, no cigars. Oh well, if I had one, it would have gone out. Good night, everybody.