 الحمد لله رب العالمين له الحمد الحسن والثاناء الجميل وأشد أن لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له وأشد أن سيدنا ونبينا محمد صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وأصحابه والتابعين لهم بإحسان إلى يوم الدين أما بعد تلاي إن شاء الله تعالى سوف يكون بي الله خلاص فق الأصلاح ثلاثة لسن في فاينو إن شاء الله تعالى ونحن نترك في last time الحقوق الزوجية the rights of the spouses and I said I'm going to talk about that from two perspectives two angles the first one is حق المرأة على الرجل the rights of the woman upon the husband and the second one is حق الرجل على المرأة the rights of the husband upon his wife and the tenth and final point that I will be speaking about is الخلافة الزوجية the marital disputes the marital disputes and the way that I hope to speak about that is from three different perspectives three different ways three different angles the first is علاج النشوء المرأة curing improper behavior on the part of the woman and the second one is علاج النشوء الرجل curing solving improper behavior on the part of the husband and last but not least كيف الأمر إذا اشتد الخلاف خلاف بين الزوجيني كيف الأمر إذا اشتد الخلاف بين الزوجيني what should be done if the discord and the dispute between the spouses grows stronger and that's what we're going to finalize إن شاء الله تعالى this three day uh course with إن شاء الله تعالى so الحقوق الزوجية the rights of the spouses we have to understand when the family when the family the family the first building block of the society is the family the family is the first the block of the society إذا صلحت صلحة المجتمع المجتمعة كله إذا صلحت صلحة المجتمع كله وإذا فسدت فسدت المجتمع كله the household and the family if they are in good state the society as a whole will be in a good state and if the family is corrupt then the society as a whole will become corrupt and it will rotten the state of the society so Islam gave a lot of importance and gave a lot of attention to making sure that it perfects the structure of the household the household is like the heart for the body the prophet said about the heart إذا صلحت صلحة الجسد كله وإذا فسدت فسدت الجسد كله that if the heart is rotten corrupt then the whole entire body is corrupt and if the heart is upright so is the whole entire so is the whole entire body so the person who is wise who is smart what does he work on his heart right because the king the same is in Islam it gives a lot of attention to the household the family the wife the children the husband what are each other's rights what should the husband do for his wife what should the wife do for her husband some gives a lot of importance to it الله تباركه تعالى يسالن القرآن الرجال قوامون على النساء بما فضل الله بعضهم على بعضهم بما فقوا من أموالهم فالصالحة وقاني تاتون حفظاتوا للغيب بما حفظ الله in this ayah if you look at it Allah is showing us Subhanahu و تعالى that the household it stands on two parties it's not all on one person's shoulder the household is built upon I mean the structure of the house is built upon the union of two people the union of two people number one is the husband and he is the one Allah started with in the ayah الرجال قوامون على النساء بما فضل الله بعضهم على بعضهم بما فقوا من أموالهم فالصالحة to the righteous wife the righteous noble man the righteous noble wife both that is the structure of the household so let's talk about the wife and her rights we'll talk about the wife's the wife's right on her husband what should the man do for his wife what we have to understand is these rights are essential part of the family and if these rights are not fulfilled that household will rotten that household will suffer الله تعالى سلن آية ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة الله told us in this ayah from the signs of Allah تعالى أن خلق لكم that Allah created you from you men meaning حوا was taken from Adam حوا was taken from Adam's rib right yeah الله told us the reason why the reason why Allah created the woman from Adam حوا from Adam and the reason why Allah created the woman is that you both find from one another السكينة the tranquility even marriage is what what should marriage bring tranquility marriage is not bringing tranquility something is what something is wrong because the ayah says it is to bring about tranquility وجعل بينكم الله made amongst you مودة ورحمة pay attention here there's many benefits that can be taken from the ayah but let's just take some الله says ومن آياته أن خلق أن خلق صح جعل means what made it's the difference between خلق and جعل these girls they say that خلق means Allah created it once one time خلق the woman was there she was just made like that are we all together Allah created you one time خلق وجعل بينكم جعل means gradual the love and the affection between the spouse as it grows وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة it goes bigger and bigger and bigger why did Allah say مودة أنن رحمة why did he say مودة and then رحمة the marriage when it starts it starts with مودة is love the two people are in love the man is in love with his wife and the wife is in love with the husband they call it the honeymoon period صح the man keeps going he said I'm going to go home he doesn't want to play with his friends he doesn't want to go football with his friends that he used to go with he's going home quickly because he's in love he's texting all day his wife you can see the happiness and excitement so مودة ورحمة means when they too have children and they grow old with each other even if that spark of love dies the man shouldn't die the man should be very merciful to his wife and the wife should be very merciful to her husband even if that spark of love goes it was a book I read one time a while back it talks about the book is called I love you but I'm not in love with you I love you but I'm not in love with you I love you but I'm not in love with you and it explains what it means by that what it means by I'm not in love with you I love you but I'm not in love with you the point I'm trying to come to is it explains in that book generally speaking that spark of love and everything it's at the beginning like in when you grow older it's genuine concern and worry and care for each other I've said this before and I say it again and I've said it last time the marriage for that mercy for that love to be three A's for the woman it's affection who memorized it your brother's already forgot affection, appreciation and attention any woman who gets that her marriage will lost she will love you if you give her attention affection and appreciation you will fulfill a great part of her so let's start with the writes the first one is the first writes that the wife has a husband is the man lives with the woman in a good and proper manner as Allah says in the ayah and live with them honorably a man lives with his wife in good and and he has proper manners with her معروف means you don't see a husband when he gets angry at his wife he uses vulgar language what does it mean live with her in good it means he gives food to her when he eats a husband if you go out and you eat with your friends and you are going to big restaurants and you say to her eat bread and water it goes against the ayah live with them in good if you eat good she has to eat with you good if you buy yourself good sets of clothes she has to get it as well she has the rights the prophet he said in the hadith أكمل المؤمنين إيمانا the believer the muslim the one who has the complete iman is أحسنهم خلقا the one who has the best manners وخياركم and the best amongst you is خياركم لنسائه the one who is the best manner the one who is the best to his wife the prophet he said one of the ways to live good with your family is the messenger said every single thing that mankind does every type of amusement every type of joy and amusement that the mankind does it is worthless no value to it except three three things are not worthless even though you're just playing around even though you're not serious even though it's just amusement and it's just playing around these three they're not worthless the first one is practice in archery that's not worthless وتأديبه فرسه and training one's horse وملعبته أهله and playing around with one's wife the messenger said they are justified those three they are justified the day of judgment so it's not waste of time to play with your wife or spend time with them like that and to say you're wasting my time it means you haven't understood the آية وعاشره النبي المعروف brothers it doesn't mean that you just throw money at your wife but it really does mean that you play and you joke with them and you laugh with them it gives them this happiness they left their house their father's house they came to your house they live with you they really want your attention one of the benefits that I read is men men love what they are created from and women love what they are created from men love their jobs and they like to talk about their jobs true or false the reason is because men are made from the earth and the earth is where agriculture comes from and so men love to discuss their salary and how much they make and what happened at work and etc because it's what they are made out of and women love their partner because that's what they were taken out of how well was taken from Adam so the woman is taken from the man so she just wants to talk about him even when she's with her friends she's like my husband you know what he does she's talking about him all day she it's just about him that she's always when she's with her family she's talking about him my husband doesn't like doing that she'll try to fit him into any sentence in any because she because it's him who Allah created her out of and then it's smart are you with me the husband understands that and she's interested in him she wants to know about him that he gives her back that attention are we all together and it's smart on the woman's part to realize when he talks about his work that's what he enjoys talking about and she's also smart to what to talk to him about it and to get involved now the second rights that the wife has is the man should be patient and he should be he should endure any harm she does and overlook any of her mistakes you didn't marry an angel you married a human being she's not perfect you knew she wasn't perfect when you got married to her but her imperfection should be your perfection you should love her for what she is a lot of men they will complain and they'll say to you my wife is that if your wife becomes everything that you want you want her to become then she won't be who she is she'll be something else so is it her that you love or do you love what you've got in your mind you should love her for what she is but he thought he had a messenger to ask this he said the messenger SAW he said he shouldn't hate his wife he shouldn't hate a believing woman if he dislikes one of her characteristics he dislikes an attribute of hers the messenger SAW he will be pleased with another of her characteristics another attribute that she has that you'll be pleased with yes, maybe she's not the best cooker but you know what she is she is the most honest she is the best she is the best she is the most honest and truthful and most sincerest person you can come across if there's something about her that you don't like then there are many there are many other things in her that you can appreciate that's what you should focus on the messenger SAW he said وانتركته لام يز겠습니다 عوج فاستوس و بالنساء خيراء the messenger SAW he said in his حadeith advise he said well for they have certainly been created from the upper part of the rib and the most crooked part of the rib is the upper part if you then try to make it straight you break it off if you leave it سوف تبقى كروكت سوف أحاولك أن تحاول الناس أنها تأكيد من ذلك الرب كروكت there are things in her that are not perfect, it's perfect إذا تحاولك أن تساعدها سوف تساعدها and that breaking what does it mean you go separate ways if you try to straighten her if you try to fine tune her if you want to make it 100% correct every mistake of hers she will not be able to tolerate it she will crack she will break but if you leave her the way she is and you work around it that marriage will remain and the only way that you can keep her in that way is to look at the ocean of good that she has and the ocean of righteous deeds the ocean of good that she has وَلِذَالَيْكَدَ فَرْفِسَ اللَّهِ عَلَيْسَلَمَاَ وَلِهِ دِبُولْتْ حَفْصَى and he wanted to leave her what did the prophet what was he told اِنَّهَا صَوَّامَةٌ قَوَّامَةٌ محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم الله said to him حفصة is a woman who fasts she is a what قَوَّامَة she is one who prays she prays and she fasts الله mentioned the good attributes that she has a person should look at that وقال about the salaf some of the salaf they said اعلم انه ليس حسن الخلق مع المرأة كفى الأذى عنها بل تحمل الأذى منها والحلم والحلم على طيشها وغضبها اختداء برسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقد كانت نساءه يراجعنه وتهجره احداهن اليوم وإلى الليلة some of the salaf از ابن قدامة مكتصر من هاجل قاصدين كما يفعله وقاله اتذكر هذا يجب أن تفعيل هذا ما they said يجب أن تفعيل حكايا حيث أن one's wife لا تفعيلها بعض الناس يعتقدون ان انا لا تفعيل حكايا لا يجب ان تفعيل تفعيل حكايا يجب ان تفعيل حكايا يجب ان تفعيل حكايا ليس بسرعة ليس بسرعة في المتصم يجب أن تفعيلها وخسارة وإن تفعيل وإن تفعيل وإموليشن المسجر صلى الله عليه وسلم يصبق وخالفة اتذكره أو تساوىه من يوم حتى اليوم السلام على الرحمن السلام سوف يتكلم عليه خطأته في مان و المنة اللعبة سوف يفعله و كانت يتمكن معهم و أخلاق و إعداب تقلح بذلك أم ماذا نفهم when the Prophet said مصدر الناس و يوجد امانية أحسنهم خلقه و هو الذي يفعله و خياركم خياركم لمسائهم ونصف الريخ جيد ومن الشيء الجيد الذي هاد فيه الجيد الخاص بعمله ما يعنيه فيه كثيرا أنه يبقى الجنور ينظره يحقيشهم ربما لم.3 ومن حق المرأة النارية للموضوع لدى الجن في رجل الميرج أن يصنها ويحفظها من كل ما يخدش شرفها ويثلم إرضها ويمتهين قرامتها ثلاثة تقرأة التي يوجد علىها حبيبها هو أن يتبقىها و يتبقىها و يتبقىها من كل شيء يمكنك أن يدعمها ربطة و نظام و يمكنك أن يفعل ذلك أخي فيمتني عوها من السفور والتبرج واحد من يجب أن يدعمك و يدعمها من كل شيء يدعمها ربطة و نظام هو أن يتبقىها من يجب أن يدعمها ربطة و يدعمها في مطلق و أيضا أن يتبقىها من يجب أن يتبقى مع المجموعة الذين لا يتبقى لها و يتبقى لن يقول عنها شيء يمكنك أن يدعمها ربطة لا تتحدث عن أخيك و أنها يتبقى لأخرى و يتبقى لها والرجل راعن في آله و و مسؤول عرعيتي والأخي is responsible for his family and he will be questioning about it the day of judgment number 4 و من حق المرأة على الرجل أن يعلمها الضرورية من أمور دينها number 4 is the fourth right that the wife has upon her husband is that he teaches her that she needs to know of her religion or that he permits her to attend sessions of learning أو يقدر لها أن تحضر مجالس العلم either you are a person of knowledge and so you can teach her the religion do that if you have knowledge but if you don't facilitate for her classes that she can attend where she can study the religion of Allah because the religion is more important than food and drinking didn't Allah say أيها الذين أأمنوا قو أنفسكم وأهلكم نارا those of you who believe protect yourselves and your families from the health fire how do you protect your family from the health fire how do you protect your wife from the health fire and your children from the health fire عاليبنا بيطالبن he said it is to educate them and discipline them ومن حق المرأة على الرجل أيها أمورها بإقامة دين الله والمحافظة على الصلاة the fifth rights of the wife upon her husband is that he orders her to abide by the religion of Allah and regularly perform the prayer the husband his role is he tells his wife that which is obligatory upon her he commands her the obligatory things especially the prayer الله says in the ayah وأمور آهلك بالصلاة وصطبر عليها وأمور آهلك بالصلاة وصطبر عليها الله تبارك تعالى says and enjoying the prayer on your family and be patient in offering them number six ومن حق المرأة على الرجل أن يأذل لها في الخروج من البيت إذا احتاجت إلي تن كأن ترغب في شهود الجماعة أو في زيارة أهلها وأقاربها أو جيرانها بشارط أن يأمرها بالجلباب وينهاها عن التبرج والسفور وكما ينهاها عن العطر والبخور ويحذرها من الاختلاط بالرجال ومصافحتهم كما يحذرها من رؤية التلفزيون وسماع الأغاني number six it is a right of the woman and the wife upon her husband that he does not spread sorry it is also from the rights of the wife upon her husband that he permits her to leave the house whenever there is a need to do so that he permits her to leave the house whenever there is a need to do so such as to attend the congregational prayers or to visit her family relatives and neighbors however if there is a conditioned however this is based on the condition like in this is conditioned that she wears the jilbab and she does not leave the house with perfume on and she does not go to places where she is going to free mix with the opposite gender if none of that is going to take place on a place where she will not be coming into contact with the opposite gender she will not be touching a man or anything also it should also warn her about watching television or listening to songs some of you might think this is extreme really television come on but the truth of the matter is this is not only for the woman it's also for the man television only brings problems to be honest television is there to indoctrinate you to feed you false narrative lie to you especially if that is Bollywood and Hollywood it gives the person a false impression of how marriage is and if it doesn't meet that criteria and if it doesn't meet that then she believes that this marriage is destruction she's looking for something even though she has a blessing in her hands ungratefulness because she watched on Bollywood that they run in the middle of the park so she wants to do that this is what she thinks marriage is about the truth she doesn't see it but the Qur'an and the Sunnah tells us the truth what did it tell us there's going to be problems with your wife things you may not like about her but be patient with that look at the complete good in her Hollywood and Bollywood what does it say to us no there's no problem with her and so the man the minute he gets married to a woman he's looking for one who is an angel so that's a problem number seven ومن حق المرأة على الرجل أن لا يفشي السرها وأن لا يذكر عيبها إذ هو الأمين عليها والمطالب برعيتها والذود عنها number eight is seven number seven it is her right and upon her husband that he does not spread her private matters and that he does not mention her shortcoming if your wife told you secrets you keep it a secret and it remains a secret you don't tell anyone about it the worst secret to spread the most despicable secret to spread is your sexual relationship with your wife it's despicable for a person to talk about his action with his wife to other people the prophet أسماء بنتي يزيدن أنها كانت عند رسول الله والرجال والنساء قعود أسماء بنتي يزيدن narrated that she was with the messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم and the men and the women were sitting there and the messenger said لأن الرجل يقول ما يفعل بهلي ولعل المرأة تقبر بما فعلت مع زوجها the messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم he said perhaps some men speak about what they do with their wives and some women speak about what they do with their husbands and then فأرام القوم فقلت إي والله يا رسول الله أسماء she said some people were silent I mean the people were silent they didn't speak but she said me I said إي والله يا رسول الله yes that's the case إنهن ليفعلنا they do this it does happen the women do this وإنهم ليفعلون and the men also do it ومسجل الله قال the messenger then said فلا تفعلوا فإنما ذلك مثل الشيطان لقية شيطانة في الطريق فغشيةها والناس ينظرون the messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم he said don't do that that is like a male devil who met a female devil in the street and he had intercourse with her with the people looking number eight ومن حق المرأة على الرجل أن يستشيرها في الأمور ولاسية من التي يخصها وولادهما number eight it is the right of the wife that her husband he seeks advice from her in matters especially matters that are particularly concerning to her and their children the man doesn't just come to his wife and say well guess what tomorrow you're flying out you're moving to another country now the man should consult his wife he should talk to his wife and the evidence for this is the the messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم when he consulted his wife أمو سلمة about the issue of the companions shaving their hair she said to the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم you message of Allah do it first and they will do what you do after them forget don't talk to them you do it and then they will follow you and the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he listened to his wife and he did it and then what they followed him صلى الله عليه وسلم it's important to consult with your wife I'll be very honest with you sometimes they will mention wise things that you may not have seen one example I was one time in a shop in a market and there was a lot of you know those waters you buy small bottles of water so I got a lot of them put them in the back in the what's it called the trolley a lot of them 10 15 I don't remember but it was a lot and so when I came to the when I came to the till I put every one of them there so my wife said to me why don't you just put one and tell them the remaining that's in the just give them one and say you've got 19 instead of having to bring everything out and she said why don't you just pick one of each and tell them whatever else you have in your so I looked and I said I was only testing you I just wanted to see what you do you pass the test but you see the wisdom صلى الله عليه وسلم it's wisdom sometimes you get so you benefit that's just an example but there's many other things that will honestly if you talk to your wife you benefit from it it's not and the prophet benefitted from she told him something and it helped him عليه السلام so it's not wrong it is not degrading it's not putting you down if you do مشاورة with your wife and she brings something better than yours leave yours stop don't be arrogant and just take what she says and say okay that's right it seems wiser it's better ومن حق المرأة ومن حق المرأة على الرجل number nine right ومن حق المرأة على الرجل أن يرجع إليها بعد العشاء مباشرة وأن لا يسحر خارج المنزل إلى ساعة متأخرة من الليل the ninth right is that the wife has on the husband is that he returns home immediately after عشة after he prays the salat of the asha the rights that the wife has the right that the wife has مالذي يحاول بالتبادي هو أنه يأتي وأدفق فيه و تصحبت فيه that is her right for two reasons number one, it might stress her out where your well been and where you are she might be worried about you and number two, she might want you as her husband and this falls under the hadith of Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn Aas الشيء هو أنه سيبقى كل الليل وأنه سيكون موضوعاً بعمل عبادة وصحباً المسلم صلى الله عليه وسلم وخبرته وقلت to him إن لزوجك عليك حقاً يوجد حقاً علىك هذا هو أنه يتركها في الليل لذا أنت تأخذت بعد عشة تأخذت حقاً على حقاً على الليل رقم 10 ومن حق المرأة على الرجل أن يعدل بينها وبين ضراتها إن كان لها ضرح رقم 10 هو إذا كانت حقاً على حقاً ويوجد حقاً على حقاً يوجد أكثر than one wife أنه يوجد حقاً على حقاً وأنه يجد حقاً في حقاً ويوجد حقاً يجب أن يكون حقاً ومستحيلة لكلهم في حالة أمام الناس محاولة ومستحيلة في الليل مع كلهم يحمل النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم من كان لهم رأة تانية فما لأحدهما دون الأخرى جاء يوم القيامة وشقهما إلن المرأة أنها من يوجد أكثر ويوجد أكثر لأحدهم يأتي على حق حالة مع شعب أكثر يوم قيامه وأنه يوم more أو أم more wife يبلنان حقاً ويشعر إصلاع على حق أكثر يرع لدى أخر يساعد أحدهم ويجد حد أن يكون حق يوم في حالة وإلى حق نحن سنذهب في حق العمل أدخلت أني أهتمه برض الغيام أن أبقى مكتباً من منور الlliته إذا كانت تعتبر عن القرآن و السنة العبد المحظولة تكون حقًا أكثر than العبد مدنoso God تعالى أعطت العبد المحظولة حقًا و أعطت بأنه حق الزوجي على زوجتي ألّو كانت به قرحة، فلحَ تأتها فلحستها ما أدت حقه المسلسلى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال حتى أحبه أخي جيد أن حتى إذا كانت تلك أخي أخي أخي أن أخي أو أخي إذا كانت أخي أخي بها لا تكون لها أخي أنها تتلك إذا كانت تلك أخي لا تكون لها أخي أخي are too much أخي also أخي في حديث إبنو كثيرا أخي أخي أخي أخي أخي أخي أن المسلسلى صلى الله عليه وسلم أخي أخي أخي أخي أخي أخي أخي أخي أخي أنها إذا كنتت رفضتها إذا كانت لديك الحامو يسوي في يوم يجعله أخير بك إعجبك من الأبرavat when the companions were shocked they said إذا ليس هذا العبال فاستحبتكم لن يكون لدينا مكتبة إذن الأبروان الآسام فاستحبت إلى بعض العبال لم يكن معدس لللتزميل للاكو شخص yet لو كانت إلى أعمورا وإذا كانت لديك فاستحبت for another person لأمرت المرأة أن تسجد لي زوجها لعظم الحق عليها سوف أضع المرأة لكي تستطيع أن تستطيع لها أخي لأنها لأعظم الحق عليها لأعظم الحق عليها تحديث أن يتكلم عن كيف تصميم الحق عليها وليذلك the Prophet ﷺ قال إذا صلت المرأة وخمساة if the woman prayed her five, five daily prayers she prayed five times a day بُهُر أصن مغرب عشة أنفجر وصامت شهرها أن she fasted the month of Ramadan وحفظت فرجها and she protects her private part وقاعت زوجها and she obeys her husband قيل لها إبستها ودخولي الجنة من أي أبوابها and she enters from whichever door of heaven you want any woman who does this she will not only enter heaven but she will choose which door of heaven she wants to enter from she will choose whichever eight doors she wants to enter from the Prophet ﷺ said إذا صلت المرأة وخمسها if the woman prays five times a day she fulfills her Salat وصامت شهرها and she fasted the month of Ramadan وحفظت فرجها and she protects her private part she doesn't do Zila وقاعت زوجها and she obeys her husband قيل لها إبستها and she obeys her husband ودخولي الجنة enter paradise enter heaven which heaven جنة الخونة the eternal heaven the true heaven the real heaven the only heaven it will be said to enter it from where من أي أبوابها شكتي whichever of these doors that you want to enter from you choose whichever of these doors that you want to enter from are we all together this concept I will be very honest with you is being diluted today some people they want to please just the opposite heaven they hide these hadiths and they say don't say it don't mention it problematic and it feeds into the narrative of feminism الذي نحن لا نبالب the feminism which we believe is disbelief كفرون بالله العلي العظيم feminism is disbelief it's kufr in its essence are we all together we don't care about it so a person will do they will throw these hadiths dismiss it and guess what when these hadiths get dismissed and they get thrown under the rug and it doesn't get mentioned it increases the problems that are present in the household ay wallah it is true to tell everybody what they have to do Allah is the one who prescribes this whether the people like to hear it or not men or women you have to say it صحيح it has to be said the prophet said I swear by the lord my soul is in his hand man there is not a man يدعم رأة who calls his wife إلى فراشه to his bed فتقبع علي her she refuses إلا كان الذي في السماء صاخط علي her except that the one in the sky is angry with her حتى يربع عنها until he becomes pleased with her there is a sheikh who mentioned as a side joke إن شاء الله تعالى there was a sheikh who mentioned that a brother came to a meeting to marry a sister when he to marry her and so the father and the willy of the family or the girl's guardian invited the brother over and they brought the sister in and they asked they said to the sister you can ask questions if you have and to the brother if you have any questions you can ask and the guardian and the father of the girl was there so the girl wanted to know if this boy's عقيدة is good is his عقيدة عقيدة أهل السنة والجماعة is he upon the right عقيدة or is he corrupt in his عقيدة so she said to him where is Allah أين الله عقيدة أهل السنة is what Allah is above his throne that's the belief of أهل السنة بإجماعة that's a consensus there's no difference of opinion so he used this hadith he said واللدي نفسي محمد يمبيدي I swear by the Lord the hadith of the prophet that the prophet said I swear by the Lord in which my hand is in his soul مام الرجل there is no man يدعوه امرأته who calls his wife إلا فراشي to the bed فتأبع علي and she refuses إلا كان اللدي في السماء except the one that's in the sky ساخطن عليها is angry with her حتى يرضع عنها until he pleases until he is pleased with her so the sheikh said he used what one stone for two for two beds they got two messages across صح so let's mention the rights is that she obeys him the backbone of the rights of the husband revolves around obedience she obeys him she listens to him those Ahadis that I've mentioned are examples she obeys him obedience of the husband is very strong the wife has to listen to her husband and do as he tells her number two ومن حق زوج علي زوجتي أن تصونا عرضه وتحافظ علي شرفها she protects his honor some women they speak about their husbands in gatherings and they say things about him my husband is like this and my husband is like this and my husband is like that protect your husbands honor don't talk about it to anyone God his honor because what did I say فصلحة قانتات حافظات للغيب بما حفظ الله she protects his honor the ISAs therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient to Allah and to their husbands and God in their husbands absence what Allah ordered them to guide God their chastity their husbands property they guard all of that they protect their honor for him a woman who cheats behind her husbands back has deceived her husband or talks to another husband or another man in a sexual promiscuous way behind her husbands back has deceived her husband she is not allowed to do that number three ومن حق زوج علي زوجتي أن تتزين له وتتجمل the third one is that the wife beautifies her husband beautifies herself for her husband the Prophet SAW حديث خير النساء من تصرق إذا أبصرتها حديث عبلاح من السلام the best woman sisters have to remember this the best woman the Prophet SAW is when you look at her you just get happy when the man he looks at her he's happy وتطيعك إذا أمرتها and she obeys you when you command her وتحفظ غيبتك غيبتك في نفسها ومالك she also she saves gods everything when you're away she doesn't let your properties your belongings your everything she makes sure no one plays around with it she takes care of it she looks after it for you so what we want from the حديث is the wife her husband she should be one that her husband when he sees her he's happy she should not be one that when he remembers her he's like do I have to go home I'm going to meet her again and the reason why he feels that way is because as soon as he comes in you're going to start complaining you're going to give him a headache that it reaches a point where your husband feels like it's a it's a response he has to just do it because it's obligatory on him checklist he has to follow it he's just like okay I have to do that I have to do that he doesn't enjoy it it's a problem and the way that a woman can do that is she beautifies herself some sisters they forget this concept and the only time that they beautify themselves is when they go on wedding to the extent that the husband comes home and he thinks he came into the wrong house he's like oh sorry but as his own home it's very dangerous the woman should remember to beautify herself he comes home every day she's got the children's vomit she doesn't care she's like oh she's messy everything she gets invited at a wedding or a sister's little gathering or somewhere she makes sure she puts the utmost effort in and then she complains why is my husband not with me why does he not want to be with me it's very dangerous so take care of your appearance take care of your appearance take care of your look and the way you are but I also have to mention out of fairness out of fairness the truth is women are not strong and they're not they're weak creation of Allah so it's not right on the man of the husband the right on the man that he places everything on her he doesn't do anything and he expects the wife to look beautiful every time that's unjust he forsakes his rights he doesn't provide for her he also doesn't he doesn't take care of the children with her he lets she has to do everything by herself she has to run around she has to go get it to get the shopping she has to clean the house she has to cook she has to do everything and then he perfect he expects but the time he comes home she's tired and she's the energy is gone so remember she's a human being brothers you have to help in the house you have to help her if you want that as well it comes with the cost okay number 4 I mean فلا تخرج منه ولو إلى المسجد إلا بإذنه the fourth one is that the wife does not leave the house without the permission of her husband even if she wants to go to the masjid she has to consult him and ask his permission and this is based on the ayah وقرنا في بيوت كنا stay in your houses number 5 I mean the rice of the husband is that the wife she does not bring anyone into the house without his permission the professor in the hadith فحقكم عليهم أن لا يواطئن فرشكم من تكرهون ولا يأذن في بيوتكم لمن تكرهون the masjid he said a woman is not is not allowed to let anyone to your sitting in your living room and sit around and be in the house or your house or your bed she is not allowed to do it in there ولا يأذن في بيوتكم لمن تكرهون and she is not allowed to allow into the house anyone you know he doesn't like a wheel together like in its wrong brothers very evil very devilish that a husband will make his wife boy call her own family members and he will tell her don't let your mom come to my house I don't want her I don't want your siblings to come to my house and then you expect her to love your mother and take care of your brothers why would you be a cause to cut the ties of kinship فهل عسيتم انتوليتم انتفسيدوا في الأرض وتقطعوا وارحامكم are you going to cut the ties of kinship صلة الارحام and be a cause for the mother and the daughter not to talk and mother and her father not to talk number six ومن حق زوج على زوجتي ان تحفظ ماله ولا تنفق منه إلا بإذن لقولي صلى الله عليه وسلم ولا تنفق مراءة شيئا من بيت زوجها إلا بإذن زوجها قيل ولا الطعام قال ذلك أفضل أموال هنا the professor I said the sixth one is that the wife she does not give out his wealth the money that he gave to her she does not give it out and she does not spend it without his without his permission and the professor I said ولا تنفق مراءة a woman should not spend anything from the wealth of her husband except with his permission so a woman stood up and she said يا رسول الله even food and the professor said ذلك أفضل أموال هنا rather that's our most most honorable wealth of course food our greatest form of wealth she can't go and just give out food and she can't just give it to she wants and the neighbors and she's feeding them without the man's permission and the permission is too touch brothers there is general permission she can take from him are we all together at the beginning of the marriage she takes permission from him and sometimes she has to take specific if it's outside the ordinary number 8 و من حق زوج على زوجتي اللى تصوم تطوع و هو شايد إلا بإذنه sorry number 7 that the wife does not fast a voluntary fasting without his permission because of the professor I said لا يحيل لمراءة أن تصوم و زوجها شايد إلا بإذنه a woman should not fast while her husband is around and he's present except with his permission his permission in order to finish brothers I'm only going to mention 10 for the men and 10 for the women okay number 8 و من حق زوج على زوجتي اللى تمون عليه بما أنفقت بما أنفقت من أموالة في بيتها و على عيالة فإن المن يبطيل الأجر و الثوابة the wife said the husband has on you is on his wife that she doesn't tell and talk about the favors that she has done for this family if it wasn't for me this family would not have existed it's me بعض الله عز و جل that this family exists look at these children if I die today no one is going to take care of them only me if you get married you hear that a lot Insha'Allah you hear that very often so the husband the wife should stay away from that and she talks about what she has done for this family and how she's went out of her way and she's bestowed this and that and this on the family and its head that this family stands on and she's the backbone of this household and she's to stay away from that because it falls under and she's to stay away from that because it falls under the آيه يا بل الله عز و جل where he said يا أيها الذين آمنوا لا تبطلوا صدقاتكم بالمن والأده do not destroy your صدق your good doings by mentioning the favors that you've done for others some people do that that's what they do they destroy their they give you something and you reach a point where you say I wish he never gave it to me I wish this person never gave this to me every day he remembers you he says do you remember me who are you آخي I'm the one who did this this for you any opportunity he gets he'll remind you آخي do you want me to do a favor for you again every time he'll bring it up the righteous and the wise person forgets the good that he does for others and he keeps he leaves it he forgets it I will together and some people Subhan Allah who say why is he doing this why is he doing this to me when I did this and this and this and this for him it means that you did it with the intent of getting something in return you shouldn't have that intention when you do things for people whether they do the same in return for you or not it doesn't matter the last one that we're going to mention is أم الحق زوجة على زوجة أن ترضى باليسير وأن تقنع بالموجود وقال لتكلفه من النفقة ما لا يوطيق وقال لتكلفه the last the tenth one is is it the ninth one you're right it's the ninth one okay is that the wife is happy and she's pleased with little the little that the husband gives her if the man doesn't make much he's struggling he's trying to make ends meet he's putting all his efforts the little effort he's coming with that she shows gratitude towards it and she's happy with whatever they have and she doesn't burden him whatever he can't do and say no I don't care you need to get another job اللي ينفق سعتي من سعتي ومن قدر عليه رزقه فلينفق من ما أتاه الله لا يكلف الله نفسا إلا ما أتاها سيجعل الله بعد عصر يسرى اللي تبارك تعالى سيدنا آية let the rich man spend according to his means and the man whose resources are restricted let him spend according to what Allah has given him Allah puts no burden on any person when he found what he has given what he has given him Allah will grant ease after hardship the person doesn't have much don't worry give what you have spend what you have ومن قدر عليه رزقه فلينفق من ما أتاه الله if your risk has been restricted give whatever you have and whatever ability you have سيجعل الله بعد عصر يسرى after this hardship that you're going through Allah is going to bring about ease إن شاء الله تعالى the last one is ومن حق زوج على زودتي أن تحسن القيام على تربية أولادها من في صبر فلا تغضب على أولادها أمامها the tenth one is that she gives she nurtures the children correctly the women she nurtures the children correctly and she gives good تربية to the children oh she does that she brings up the children in good manners with patience she's angry with her children in front of him without supplicating against them or abusing them some mothers they get angry more when the father is around before that she's running around with the children she's angry do this do this but when he comes she gets even more angrier she puts a little show on what does she do when he comes she puts a little show on look at these kids look what they're doing you see I'm struggling in this world she shows this all to him and then she curses the children and she makes she should stay away from that and that falls in the Hadith of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم لا تؤدي مراءة زوجها في الدنيا إلا قال زوجته من الحور العين لا تؤديه قاتلك الله فإنما هو دخيل عندك يوشك أن يفارقك إلينا the messiness صلى الله عليه وسلم he said in the hadith a woman does not harm her husband she does not stress him she does not cause him hardship a yay if she does that if she does that and she harms her husband the حور العين respond and they say do not harm him may Allah destroy you he is just a guest with you and soon he will be departing to you from you to us so those are the rights of the husband some of the rights of the husband that I mentioned and the rights of the women that I mentioned there were more than the ones that I mentioned there were more than 10 of course let me quickly go into the the last point إن شاء الله تعالى which is the marital disputes and this is very very important I am going to start with إن شاء الله تعالى curing improper behavior on the part of the the woman and the reason I am starting with that is because before I started with the rights of the wife so it is fair now that I start with the improper behavior of the woman if a woman is improper in her behavior immature she is acting in an incorrect way she is she is going against those rights that we mentioned the steps that should be taken is number one as الله said والدينة والدينة والتي تخافون نشوزهم فعضوهم وهجروهم في المضاجع وضربوهم فإن أطعانكم فلا تبوا علينا سبيلة إن الله كان عاليا كبيرة the woman who الله says the woman who is ill conduct الله says سبحانه وتعالى فعضوهم أدمنشها أدمنشهم remind her of the day of judgment سيتقلها عز وجل the first step that you take when a woman is ill mannered ill conduct is فعضوهم remind her of Allah the day of judgment what are you going to do when you stand in front of Allah look how you are walking look how you are acting look how you are فعضوهم المعضة speak to her heart use that if that doesn't work she is still persistent in her ways الله says وهجروهم refuse to share the bed with them refuse to share the bed because this is where the bed is where the partner come together really and they bond more so if you angry with her and then you have intimate relationship that generally makes the mistake seem like it's gone now and does come across like that so ill conduct stay away from the wife you don't leave the house though and you go other places within the house you move away sleep in the living room sleep in the living room sleep somewhere else just don't share the bed with them if that doesn't work الله says وضربوهم discipline them discipline them لكن the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam in the hadith of عبدالله إياس بن عبدالله بن أبي ذوبابل he said قال رسول الله sallallahu alaihi wasallam لا تضربو إماء الله the messenger said do not beat up the women do not beat the women فجاء عمر إلى رسول الله عمر then came رسول الله رسول الله إذا إرنا النساء على أزواجهن فرخص في إضربهن عمر رضي الله عنه came رسول الله رسول الله the women are now transgressing on their husbands they are wronging when you said that they do what they want then the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam then the women came complaining to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam many women they came to the prophet and they complained about what the men are doing they are beating their wives and etc the prophet said وَلَقَطَافَ بِآَلِ بَيْتِ مُحَمَّدٍ تِرَيدَ the house of Muhammad many women have come نساءٌ كثيرٌ يشقون أزواجهن who are complaining about their husbands ليس أولائك بخياركم remember that these men whose wives are complaining about them they are complaining they are not the best of you guys these men who are beating and going about and bashing their wives ليس أولائك بخياركم but in that it's the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam never ever beat his wife never he never did that sallallahu alaihi wasallam so the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam he said in the hadith those men are not the best among you those men are not the best in another hadith the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam mentioned abdulayb al-zam'a he said and know sallallahu alaihi sallam that he heard the prophet saying يعمدوا أحدكم ويجليدوا المرأة ودلد العبد فلعلله يُضاجعها من آخر يومه the prophet sallallahu alaihi sallam he said you should not beat your wives like you would beat a slave for perhaps you will have you will then have intercourse with her at the end of the day the man beat us he's wiped up and then later he wants to have an intimate relationship with her it's very despicable it's very bad it's very evil and trust me this only brings then the wife becomes very repulsive towards you especially a man that beats his wife in front of the children he beats the mother in front of what in front of the children trust me I will say to those men when they come their wives complaining about them فليس أولائك بخياركم والله that's not the best amongst you that is not the best amongst you now we're going to go those are the three steps now we're going to go into the way to cure improper behavior on the part of the husband الله said in the ayah وإن امرى تنخافت من باليا نشوزا أو إعراضا فلا جناها ليما أن يصلح بينوما صلحا وصلح خير وأحضرة الأنفص الشوح وإي تحسن وتتقوف إن الله كان بما تعملون خبيرا the woman if a woman fears cruelty or she fears from her husband discussion he's improper he's acting in an immoral way ill conduct she's scared that he will abandon her and her children there's two options open for the woman there's two ways to cure the problem the first one is she gives up her rights in order for the marriage to remain so she says to him you just want to leave me us and the children her and I don't have no one to provide for us her okay don't divorce me go and get married if you want to but provide for me now you can get married you don't have to come to me you don't have to come to me you don't have to come to the children if you want to but just give us money monetary finance and the evidence for that is the story of soda soda when she aged she became very very old she for her own self felt that the prophet might not want her she was scared because after Khadid the first woman he married was who? soda after Khadid the first woman he married was soda and soda was very old so she was scared that she might lose the prophet he might divorce her she was scared and and that he might walk away from her and that she might not be from his wives the day of judgment she wanted that so she said to the prophet of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم يا رسول الله don't let me go and give my night to Aisha stay I'm your wife I just want to have that title of being أم المؤمنينة the mother of the believers and I also want to be consider your wife and I want to be your wives the day of judgment I give my wife to who? Aisha so with that Aisha used to have how many days? two days the second option that the wife has is if he doesn't is this point that we're going to go into which is it became very severe none of that is working he said even she said I'm going to give up my night I'm going to give up some of she whatever it doesn't have to be you don't have to be you can get married I'm just giving an example she just gives up one of her rights so I give up this right are we all together whatever right she gave she still sees from this man he's improper ill conduct evil there's still a problem it brings us to the last point that we want to finish with is what should be done if the discord between the spouses grows stronger none of that is working none of that is what is working what she should do is as Allah said وَإِنْخِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَا بَيْنِهِمَا فَبَاتُواْ حَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ إِيُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا إِيُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا وَفِقِي اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا إن الله كان علي من خبيرا الله says وَإِنْخِفْتُمْ إِتَيْفِيَا شِقَاقَا بَيْنِهِمَا a very strong mortal discord it's very strong it's very deep Allah says وَفَا بَعَتُواْ حَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ a judge from her family and a judge from his family meaning her father and let the two fathers meet or too representative from the two sides of the family because this matter it couldn't be resolved by the two of them now it goes to the family now it goes to a higher authority إِيُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا إِيُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا if both of them want fairness it will come from this إن شاء الله you are if they both are looking for again this is very important إِيُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا underline that point if both of them are looking for what rectification if both of them are looking for what making peace if both of them are looking for reconciliation إيِرِيدَا إِمْدَا إِيْدَا إِصْلَاحًا when did he say أنت صح relationship الله will bring in from this Good and guess what God shrimped his ever well acquainted and he knows everything in great details he know what you're really thinking are you just doing this to are you a showman were you just trying to show لأنهم يجب أن تقوموا بشكل جميل لكي تقوموا بشكل جميل ولكن حقاً في حياتك أنت لا تريد أن تقوموا بشكل جميل أنت لا تريد أن تقوموا بشكل جميل هل هذا صحيح؟ لأنه إذا كان هذا صحيح فهي لن يعمل لأنك always look for something إذا كانت تقوموا بشكل جميل هذا هو ما سيحدث الله سبحانه وتعالى تقوموا بشكل جميل إذا كانت تقوموا بشكل جميل one of the signs that both parties are really they really want good is that wherever the judgment is wherever the judgment is both of them will accept it and they won't look for Qila and Qala both of them will what? both of them accepted the woman whatever she's been told she will listen and whatever the man has been told he will listen but if he goes to the wife when they go home I think your father was so unjust and out of my dad understands what's really happening so I think that judgment wasn't fair if he's going to say that that shows that did you really want because these people are the people who came to the conclusion you take what they bring to the table إن شاء الله تعالى I've finished and I've concluded the thick of family anything wrong or incorrect I might have said is from me a shaitan and Allah and his message are free from it بحمدك أشهد الله إله إلا الله أستغفرك أتوب إليك