 Hi a she was seven. How are you? Yes, this is a wig. Yes, I'm rocking a wig Okay, so let's just go ahead and say yeah, I got that at the way So I was asked to do a series on for women on how to boost your self-esteem and you know Kind of take charge of your life and feel good about yourself as a woman. You know, well, you know Self-esteem starts with the self so you have to Love yourself And what I know people always always gotta love yourself, but they don't never tell you what loving yourself means It means putting yourself first. Okay, I'm just gonna break it down Be selfish Be selfish That's loving yourself Because you're a priority to yourself. Don't listen to people criticize you For being selfish Because it's your life Number three If someone wants you to give more to them and they're willing to give to you, then they're really the selfish one Okay, and if you're in a relationship like that You're practicing self-hatred I'm gonna repeat that if you're in a relationship Where you are giving more time and energy Money whatever to some other person and you're not receiving equal or more You're practicing self-hatred. Okay, you don't love yourself enough if you're in that situation Okay, imagine this if you have kids Imagine if someone was treating your daughter or your son Like your partner or how people treat you. Okay, how would you feel about that? Would you be angry? Would you be upset that someone was talking down to your child or down to your little sister or brother if you're younger? Do you be mad? Yeah, so why don't you get mad when people talk down to you? Why don't you say something? Because you truly love your child you truly love your sibling But you don't love yourself because you don't take up for yourself. You just let people Say whatever they want No You have to check people. That's that's number four check people who offend you Check them immediately Don't let people get away with mistreating you or talking down to you check them immediately That way they won't make the mistake of doing it again because you haven't been embarrassed them in public Okay, there's a meme floating around on Facebook with Janet Jackson and she's going like this and It says don't come for me I Mean you know don't don't don't say nothing to me That's gonna offend me and you're not you know You're not ready to face the consequences because I will check you. Okay, if you can check people the moment they offend you Your self-esteem will go up Probably at least by five points. I don't know whatever point system, but it's gonna go up. Okay? Number five, you know If they're not paying your bills if they're not contributing to you in any way in any positive way Then their opinion does not count Let me repeat that if they're not paying your bills or contributing to you in any type of positive way Their opinion does not count It doesn't okay So if you're listening to someone Criticize you ridicule you, but they're not contributing to you And all they have to offer you is negative advice Stuff that makes you feel bad about yourself then Plug your ears dismiss because if they can't like if they're if they're upset about your looks or your weight or Your financial status. Well, ask them to buy you Some new clothes ask them to give you some money for a haircut ask them to Give you a gift card to Sephora for some makeup ask them to Buy you a gym membership if you have so much to say about how somebody looks You know and they will shut up. They're like well, um, yeah, that's what I thought So you have to check people when they offend you Okay, you can't let them get away with it because you let them get away with it once they'll do it behind your back They'll do it in front of you. They'll do it Where you can hear it? Because oh, she's not gonna say nothing, you know She's to have any self-esteem. She's just gonna be sad and go home and cry And wonder why the world hates her. No, I'm gonna check you. I'm like I heard my sister is the queen of checking people Okay, she will check you across the store And loud talk you in public like nobody's business and it used to embarrass me when I was with her But I understand now. I'm not that bad, but Like somebody would just be staring at her like this like just like rudely staring And she was like, do you like what you see? So just check Or like if they're looking at her because you know my sister's A lesbian and she goes places with her girlfriend goes out to eat And she'll check people. That's like looking at her crazy. She's like, excuse me. Do you have a problem? You know and she'll be like She'll She's hilarious. Okay. Anyway She will check them So okay and moving on You know If you look in the mirror And you don't like what you see Change it Now I'm not talking about hate yourself The way that you were made. I'm just like, you know, if you if you want to update your look Go get a haircut. Go get a hair color. Go get a wig. Go get some makeup You know, you can buy makeup at the dollar store. You don't have to spend a lot of money Do something different. Look at this Okay Tomorrow I'll look totally different But if this makes you feel good if this makes you feel happy If this makes you feel different if this makes you feel alive and vibrant And changes your attitude from negative to positive then just do it. Don't care about what people think. Okay They're gonna secretly admire you for being able to have Uh The guts To you know, create what you want in life Whatever Uh To uh today I might have been feeling like Chris dinner. You don't know You don't know I might have wanted to get my managerial skills on today I want I might have wanted to be Kanye's mother-in-law today. Y'all don't know this when I wake up Every day is different And that's another way to keep yourself a steve up make every day interesting You know when you get caught in a rut and do the same thing every day At least have a different costume at least, you know, paint your nails a crazy color Wear some blue lipstick something. I don't know get some jewelry that looks different You know put it put it a weird smelling wax tart in your wax Wax burner that just It's unorthodox, I know Uh Drink some strong coffee, you know Um To pour some tequila in that coffee get your day started right I don't I don't know just do something different every day to make your life interesting I stay home every day unless I'm out going somewhere to run errands But I stay home every day, but my life is interesting Why Because I created that way I make it that way Uh, I make videos on different topics I keep I keep my coffee interesting by by getting different mugs and I see a cute mug, you know You know, uh drinking coffee out of a plain cup sometimes The same cup boring cup every day You know change mix it up, you know life is meant to be explored Like, you know, it just is so that's one way you can raise yourself esteem ladies change it up, you know Um Wigs are pretty cheap these days like you can buy a synthetic wig Uh For less than you can pay for a haircut or to get your hair dyed You know and it's temporary You can take it off and go back to being your normal self the next day um Also treat yourself let people see you treat yourself when I mean treat yourself buy yourself something nice Show yourself that you're worth it like Okay, I had to plug in my camera y'all Yeah, show yourself that you deserve Something good, you know Um, you know, you don't have to buy expensive everything but you know pick one item and splurge, you know, like I might wear cheap makeup But I will splurge on an expensive foundation Yeah, um, I might I might shop at the dollar tree But you know for seasonal Um purposes and sometimes I'll just I'll go buy an expensive candle, you know $25 candle I'll try to find it on sale, but if I can't and I really want it I'll splurge on myself because I'm worth it and when people see that you're worth it And you spend money like that on yourself When they come to you, they're not going to come with some crap. They're gonna be like, oh she has good taste. She's You know, she knows about this and she knows about that and You know, she she buys those $25 candles. Oh my god I can't give her this crappy gift for for christmas. I'm gonna have to go back and reassess You know because when you up your value Then other people up your value You know if you give yourself the worst if you Put yourself last every time. So it's everyone else You put yourself first No one's gonna ask you to do all this crap You probably don't want to do because they know you're gonna say no They're gonna be like, oh, no, don't call her. She's not gonna help you. No And that's gonna take a lot of stress and load off of you But you know, they will call you and they want to invite you to something nice, you know They'll oh, yeah, she'll like that. She's like really, you know I think she's all that so I'm gonna invite her to my dinner party or to my Halloween or christmas party because I want her to Now now they're trying to impress you. Okay Yeah, so you got to flip the script. You got to make people Know how to treat you you got to show people how to treat you by how you treat yourself and what you accept and what you don't accept, you know I tell this story sometimes When I first started dating my husband like when we He bought me this like cheap set of jewelry That I wouldn't even buy for myself. Okay If I saw in the store they're like, mm-hmm. I don't want that. It looks too cheap It was real, but it was like little and teensy like it was for like A five-year-old, you know little studs a little like cheap necklace um It was like a kid's jewelry And this is it's christmas time. We just started dating, you know He's whining and dining me and he gives me this box and it looks all fancy and I open it up and it's some crap And I get mad. I'm like the box looks better than the gift. I get mad. I was like I didn't get mad at first. I was like, oh, this is nice And I would put it up and I never wore it. He's like, why don't you worry the gift about you? I'm like, well He's like what I was like, well I don't know and I never wear it. I left I left it up there and then like One day we got into it and he was like, well, you don't even appreciate stuff that I I try to give you a nice gift I said that is not a nice gift. Okay. I wouldn't even buy that for myself The reason is still in that box is because it's cheap and I don't want people laughing at me for wearing that crap. Okay The look on his face was priceless Ever since that day, he went to Jared. Okay, ever since that day, he goes to Jared or his sales or something Okay, ever since that day But I'm not a jewelry person anymore. That was the old me like but He still went to Jared When I was a jewelry person and he got me nicer stuff after that so If you let somebody know you got to check people you got to tell them how to treat you you got to tell them No, I don't accept that and that will raise your self-esteem, you know Because they know that they failed you They know that they failed you and they're gonna do better The next time Or if they can't they'll they'll just get out of your life and save you a lot of time So remember that Um another thing have something have something of your own like a hobby A skill a talent something that you like to do Uh Don't always be available don't always be Calling and texting somebody every five minutes make them chase you, you know Um Even if it's just something silly like drawing or writing in a journal have something to do You know where you're not always just open and available. I'm like, hi, I'm here for you I'm here only for you. What can I do to serve you? No Make people not want to interrupt you and uh like You know like Say I'm reading, you know Don't look up at them. Keep reading Let them be afraid to interrupt you because then they know that your time is important, you know that you're What you're focused on is important, you know Don't always just be open. So what do you want to do? I'm so bored. I don't know whatever you want to do Don't do that because it makes them feel like they have some control and power over you because you're indecisive you're Yeah, so And also you can't be indecisive When someone asks you a question you have to have an answer You know, you have to know who you are what you want Because once you're assured of who you are and what you want You'll be able to talk to people with more self-esteem About yourself you'll be able to feel more comfortable talking to all walks of life because now You know, you have a plan now you have something to talk about now you have You know a direction, you know, a lot of people are intimidated by Some people and they feel really Beneath them, you know And they feel like oh I don't feel as good as this person over here. I'm not in their league. I can't talk with them I feel out of place my self-esteem is low because I don't know who I am. I don't know what direction I'm going. I just don't feel Attractive. I don't think I'm smart You handle the situation ahead of time in your own house before you leave And you say, you know what? I am smart. I am good-looking. I can I can enhance my features. I can read a book every week I can you know, I can research stuff online. I can study current events I can hold a conversation with anyone in that room You know when you go out somewhere I could hold my head up high because I'm about self-improvement because I'm invested in me, you know, I'm gonna invest my time in me instead of worrying about what other people think of me I'm gonna invest time in myself and Improving me. So invest some time in yourself, you know, invest 20 minutes a night before you go to bed into reading a book and getting some information That you don't have because believe it or not y'all I can walk into a room of doctors Surgeons, I know that's the same thing, but there's different types of doctors I can walk into a room full of all walks of life And impress the highest paid person in that room and impress the lowest paid person in that room Why? Because I invested time in myself I invested time in being able to interact With all walks of life By improving myself My knowledge, my range You know stuff like that You can't just sit there and take what the world throws at you You either got to catch it And throw it back Or you're gonna create your own game, you know You got to create your own life. You got to create yourself You have to recreate yourself if you feel like you're not the person that you want to be You know, you got to get up one day and say, you know what? I'm just gonna Every day I'm gonna do something that improves my life until I am the person I want to be You know, every day I'm gonna do this It's for some people it could be, you know Weight loss journey for some people it could be, you know Improving their looks and their fashion Or for some people it could be improving their intelligence or the way they speak Or the way they Interact with other people it could be all of that but you got to work on it every day. Otherwise Do you think you really deserve to feel good about yourself when you're not even the person you want to be? Okay, so I'm gonna leave it at that. Thank you guys for watching a thumbs up. Um I don't know what I'm gonna name this series yet. So I'm gonna I'm just gonna put self-esteem series And if you think you Uh Can provide a good name or suggest a good name for this series Put it in the comments and I will pick the best one the one that I like. Okay. Thanks for watching. Bye