 The makers of Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Sy Howard and starring that celebrated actor Mr. J. Carol Nash with Alan Reed as Pacoale. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi because they feel it's a friendly, good-natured show that offers you relaxation and enjoyment. And they'd like to mention the fact that they're product. Wrigley's Spear Mint gum offers you relaxation and enjoyment too. It's pleasant to chew on a smooth piece of Wrigley's Spear Mint whether you're working, shopping, listening to your radio, or doing just about anything. Wrigley's Spear Mint gum tastes good. It's refreshing. And the good easy chewing gives you comfort and satisfaction. Now Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum brings you Luigi as he writes another letter describing his adventures in America to his mama basket in Italy. Hey, remember how we were talking in the other country? How was it going to come to America and make a million dollars in the five years? I mean, I think it's going to be other way around. I'm not going to make a five dollars in a million a year. Isn't that what they're my antique businesses? They've got something in America that's called an afflash. This means with a price that's so high, a dollar so low, you can't buy the things you don't need it with the money you're into God. But unfortunately, Mamma Mia, I'm still a God of my good health. And like Uncle Pietro is always the same, a good storm out there is worth a million dollars. Mamma Mia, you should see Pascuali is a fact of the roses. She's a walking around with the United States to treasure it. And the last few days, I'm going to have a lot of trouble with Pascuali. Always he reminds me how he's bringing me to America just to marry roses. And always I'm going to remind him how he's forgot to tell me this when he's brought to me from Italy. When the weather, Mamma Mia, he comes to Pascuali 9 and I'm going to like to get a look on his face there. Pascuali, my friend, hello Pascuali, hello, hello. Hello. Can I see where you're at Pascuali? Nice. That's where you're from, huh? I said the winter is going to be colder now. All right, stop the weather report to give me the latest marriage report. Pascuali, please, I know that I should talk to you today. Why not? The roses are ready. I'm ready. The preachers are ready. Two witnesses are ready. The only one who's holding up with the words is you. Pascuali, I'm going to want to hold you up. As long as you've got all these people away from you, you go ahead without me. I don't want no excuses. Look, Luigi, how can you like this a bachelor life with all the crazy running around excitement and the noise? I promise to you, once you marry a rose, you're going to rest at peace. Pascuali, that's what I'm afraid of. No matter, no matter, Pascuali, if she wasn't so fast. Fast, fast, fast. How can a man be so stupid? Luigi, I think you old enough to know the truth about American girls. What the truth? Everybody knows all American girls are that fast. Yeah, but they don't look that fast, Pascuali. On the outside, they look skinny, but underneath, they're all... They press everything down, but of course, it's a MacGyver. But with my rose, everything you see, that's it. Well, maybe you're right, Pascuali, but it's still a marriage that's impossible for me. I got no money, and even if I had the money, the rose to eat... Wait, wait, wait. I'm going to make you a proposition. For every pound a rose to gain, after she marries you, I'm going to give you $20 a cash. $20 a pound, huh? That's more than England that gives her for the pound. Well, what do you say, my son? But, Pascuali, maybe I'm suffering now from inflation, but I'm not going to marry you, sir. Luigi, you shouldn't talk so fast. I just made you a big proposition. You know what they say in America? When, opportunity knocks on your head, open up your ears. Pascuali, I must still have got to say no. That's your final answer? Yes, Pascuali. Final, last, absolute, the end answer? Yes. Not even a teeny-weeny chance? You might have changed your mind. Not the one that killed me. Luigi, is it going to go very bad if you use her? You better act faster. I'm counting up to three. And if you don't say yes about a rose, I'm going to kick you out of this antique shop of a good. No, Pascuali. One. Pascuali, please. Two. Three. Well, then I guess it's the end for me, Pascuali, because... Well, I'm going to get out. Four. Pascuali, you said you were going to count to three. Well, I'm keeping this illegal, Luigi. In America, I've got to count to ten before you out. Five. Pascuali, you're going to count to a hundred. I'm still not going to change my mind. Oh, what a wise guy. Already you forgot about it when you first come to America. Remember how excited he was when you first looked off the boat and you saw my rose waving an ice-cream cone? Yeah, and the reason I was so excited was because I thought that she was a statue of liberty. No excuses. And I remember when you first stepped off the boat, how you bent down and touched the ground, and you said to Pascuali, I feel like Columbus. I'm a touching American. Yes. Luigi, you think if I was abroad of Columbus to America that he would have said no to Rosa? Pascuali, if for Columbus to rest, he would have turned it on to discover South America. All right, Mr. Bigmouth. I think the time is here when we can only talk a business. A hard business. A hard business? You owe me two months to rent and a $26 a cash. $16. $16 and 10% interest to make the 26. Well, my palm is a weight to the Mr. Bigshot. That's the matter. You get a little pale around the age that Mr. Pumpkin had? Well, Pascuali, you've got to have the money now. Yes, and now. And no, you, now. Pay me my money or get out. Out of Pascuali, you really mean it? Out is only the beginning. You better move out of the state because I'm going to get a judgment and howl to you till you pay, get married, or go to jail, Mr. Bosco. Mr. Pascuali. That's the right to get out of town by tomorrow morning or the sheriff will be here with his pussy and throw you out. Come on. My money is, is it not the first time he's thrown me out, but looks like it's going to be the last time. Well, at this time, I'm gone. Maybe out the west and make my fortune. I better go to my next school and say goodbye to my friends if for the last time. How's all the roll? Mr. Bosco. Here. Mr. Howard. Mr. Olsen. Mr. Schultz. Let's start everybody off. Smile everybody, be happy. All right, Mr. Schultz. We're all smiling. Now you may answer the first question. Mr. Bosco, then keep me smiling. Call on Olsen first. Oh, never mind. We're studying verbs today. Mr. Schultz will give you an easy one. Give us a sentence with a verb. All right. I had lumbago when I came to Chicago. Mr. Schultz, that word is pronounced lumbago. Well, they changed it recently. He never changed it. It's always been pronounced lumbago according to Webster. All right, but I think Webster's making it a big mistake. Now let's hear your sentence again, Mr. Schultz. Only pronounce the word correctly. All right. I had lumbago when I came to Chicago. You know very well that the A in Chicago has a soft sound. Not near the elevated where I live. That was a lullaby lousom. Mr. Bosco, don't you think we have had enough palm foolery? May I give the correct answer so that we may proceed? Olsen, why can't you be like us? Stupid and lovable. Ms. Spaulding, I would like to try with an answer. Well, let's try, Mr. Bosco. He looks so quiet today. You talk to me, Ms. Spaulding? Yes. You may give us a sentence with a verb. All right. Tomorrow I'm going to live in a city. Very good. Why, you happen to see me going away, Ms. Spaulding? Oh, don't be silly. Now tell us the verb in your sentence, Mr. Bosco. Which word shows the action? Pasquale. Pasquale? Pasquale? Mr. Bosco, what is that word got to do with your sentence? Because if he's gonna chest me out, then I'm gonna have to live in the city. Luigi, you must be joking. He don't look like it, Olsen. Why is Pasquale chasing you out this time, Luigi? You know why, he asked. It's unaccountable, Luigi, that Rosa is still a bachelor. Oh, my, Luigi. This ain't the first time Pasquale has chased you out. He really don't mean it. Not sure if he's a man at this time and for good. He's getting a judgment against me and I've got to get out of the state. Luigi, you can't. We won't let you. No, no, no. Please, friends, if you don't try to stop me, I'm never gonna give Pasquale the chance to talk to me no more. So tomorrow, I'm going away. Far away. You have any money, Luigi? I've got some. Luigi, I have some money. Olga doesn't know about it. And I got a few dollars put away from my estate. Yeah, me too. I bet with the money we hide from our wives and the money they hide from us, we could wipe out the national debt. Luigi, look. About the money you shouldn't worry. No, sure, sir. Friends, I don't need the money. But the bank's all the same and I'm gonna write to your letters. Then you go, Luigi. I'm not sure yet. Maybe to California. You can't just walk around the streets. Look, they got a room in my house. I'll put up a cart there. No, no, Olga and I live alone. And you've got my house, Luigi. But between the three of us, we've got enough bedrooms to put the YMCA out of business. But what do you say, little renaissance? I have plenty of things to do. Thank you. You're so nice. And good-bye. Good-bye, Miss Spaulding and the friends. I'm about to write to you. He's gone. Yes, I believe he means it. Ying and Evie, they're going to miss him. But quick, Miss Spaulding, call on me. I want to commit agitation of suicide. Before we return to life with Luigi, we'd like to mention that Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum is really a two-way treat. It's a taste treat with lots of refreshing, delicious, real spearmint flavor. And it's a chewing treat that gives you lots of good, smooth, pleasant chewing satisfaction. Wrigley's Spearmint Gum is an economical treat, too. A single inexpensive package gives you hours of chewing enjoyment. So next time you go shopping, be sure to get a few packages of refreshing, delicious Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum. It costs so little and tastes so good that you'll want to enjoy it often every day. Now, let's turn to page two of Luigi Vasco's letter to his mother in Italy. So, Mamma Mia, I'm decided to live in Chicago and all of my friends. He's a bigger heartache to live with such a good friend. Because I'm going to never forget the last winter when I was a sick, how Schultz's has stood up over to me all night to where he has put in and the hot tea in a coffee syrup. And then when I woke up in the morning, it was no Schultz's. Only a note that's said, I hope that my wife believes I stayed up all night to with a sick friend. Well, Mamma Mia, it's a time enough for me to go, but first I'm going to go to the bus station and see how far I'm going to go with my little money. Excuse me, Mr. A. This is Continental Railways and Bus Line. Yes, sir. How far are you going, Mr. A? How far do you want to take me? Well, we warn you. That's where I want to go. How much is it cost? Well, figure it roughly about three cents a mile. Mamma Mia, every mile I'm going to get off and pay the driver three cents. Excuse me, please. Do you want to hear that's got to California? Sure. Upper or lower, Burke? I'm going to go to California and not to have a baby. Luigi, are you here, Luigi? I think you need to store it. It's empty. Seven o'clock in the morning, a bit too late. Look is left. Yeah. We never thought he would. I feel like I lost a brother. Sure, he was a good man. Real sign and a true gentleman to be. He was a friend. Stop saying he was. He was. He ain't was till he had been there. He's not going, which we ain't sure of. Okay, well, am I for shimmers? Anyway, he's gone. Maybe not. Let's look in the closet for a suit. A good idea. No, one zoo chase. Luigi never owned a zoo chase. The only thing he ever had was that can was bad with the one handle torn and hanging down like a bad ear and a cooker spaniel. Look at the way he cleaned up the shop before they left. Everything in place, not one speck of dust. It's your death. Pascale is a big, unmitigated, 14-carat yurt. That's right. It's his fault. Why, if that big, beloved belly ever talks to me again, I'll tear him like a herring. Go ahead, Mr. Delicatessen. I'm mad that the herring is awake. You're missing. Pascale, where did you come from? I'm a waitress, Schultz. My humblest apologies, Pascale. It was a mistake to call you a herring. That's better. A herring does the things it does because it's pickled. But that's your excuse. Don't you better watch what you say you liable to wind up in a catatopry. Pascale, we ain't got time to argue with you. We want to know where's Luigi? Did he leave Samantha? Anything. Look, I don't know where that pups picker went. But as far as I'm concerned, he can leave with the country and live in New Mexico. Pascale, how could you chase him out like that? After all, you brought him to America. You were like a father to him. Even more than a father, a mother. Even more than a mother, a monster. The abdomen, gentlemen. There's no use fighting this. Did he came here to find out where Luigi moved to? I wonder where he is now. What he's doing. Maybe we should look for him. Luigi! Mister, are you the Bobby Lipton who's put advertisement in the paper? Bobby, you wanted somebody to share automobile ride with you to California? Yeah, that's me. I leave it three this afternoon. That okay with you? Yes, okay, Mr. Lipton. Are you got a good car? A fine car. It's a Willys. It's a Willys? Sure. If it's a Willys, how come are you got it then? You got a sense of humor, friend. Boy, the miles just fly by when you got nice, friendly company. Now about the road expenses. We go haffies on the gas and oil, okay? Oh, sure, sure. I'm always the one to pay my heft. You pay for the gas, I'm a pet for the oil. No, no, you pay for the gas and I'll pay for the oil. All right, I see. If you want to spend more money, I have to make me happy. I'm enough good for the train or the bus stop, so I'm glad it's to meet you. Well, that's good. What's your name? Luigi Basker. Any of you calling me Luigi? Okay, friend. My name is Bob Lipton. You can call me Bob. Thank you, Mr. Lipton. Yeah. Yeah. This is a car you got. Is it not too old, huh? Well, I'll be frank, friend. It's a 34. 34, huh? Hey, it must be a good car. It was a wonderful year for the wines. Oh, no. Okay. Let's have a look at this road map right here. Here, friend. Now, we've got a choice of two routes. You see, the northern and the southern. Which do you like best? Oh, please. You take the first to pick. All right. Well, this northern route here is very nice. You take this Highway 30 here through Cedar Rapids Island. Well, we go through Omaha, cutting the Cheyenne up through the Rocky Mountains, turn here into Salt Lake City, then south to six, through Nevada, Death Valley, all to 58, cutting on Barstaw and 66, then San Bernardino, Pasadena, and L.A. Remember, you never stop the ones for lunch. Don't worry. Now, there'll be plenty of stuff. Well, look, now, I'm agreeable. If you don't like the northern route, we can take the southern. Well, friend, what do you say? What? Huh? Hey, you look like you're dreaming or something. What's the matter, kid? You're running away to forget some babe. No, no, I'm not after the baby. No. I mean a doll, a day, a skirt. A doll and a day and a skirt? Yeah. Well, I mean, I must stop the school on yesterday. Already, I don't understand the English language. Please. Please, you show me this southern route. Southern route? You're a sure thing. Now, here's southern of Raleigh. We leave Chicago here on 66. Yeah. Go through Springfield down to St. Louis, then to the Ozark Mountain. Ozark Mountain? Mm-hmm. Is it these high mountains? And all they're high. I got a friend who almost got killed there once. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. Well, don't you worry, friend. These breaks of mine were reliant only 12 years ago. Oh, that's so good. Well, let's see here. Next, we hit Tulsa, Oklahoma. I'm going to eat a big Guinness Thomas. I had to do that once. Oklahoma? Sure, that's real tornado country. Those things knocked down trees, carry off rooftops and pick a car right off the ground like it was a matchbox. Maybe, you know, some other way to California? Ha-ha-ha. You're joking. Ha-ha-ha. Manate. Ha-ha-ha. Look about that. And now, look, you worry too much. Now, let's see here. We hit Amarillo, Texas here. That's nice, wide-open prairie country. We can do 80 miles an hour on those roads. 80 miles an hour? Well, sure. My old buggy can do 90. But supposing the tidies suddenly break up, but then what? Then we turn over, that's all. Look, friends, you only live once. Not up at the cottage, if I know. Please, Bob, don't drive so fast. Okay, okay, just leave the drive to old Bob. Now, let's see. Out of Amarillo, we go down Route 160 here, hit through New Mexico. Then we're up into the mountains again. And we walk about 5,000 feet. It is to come down to Bob. I'm getting a dizzy. Now, relax. Relax, friend. Those narrow mountain roads are a cinch. Why, I can make a turn at 50 miles an hour on one wheel with my eyes closed. And when you open them up, I'm not going to be there. Well, don't you let it worry, friend. I never yet got a ticket in my life. That's a good one. How long have you been a-grivin'? Three weeks. Come on, my dear. Well, when do we go? If we ever get down at those mountains, where do we go? Well, we're going to go right down here to Arizona. Is it nice to go to Arizona? Oh, they're okay, till we hit the Apache mountains. Come on, maybe I better take a boat. But these Apache mountains, they're not as high like at the Rockies, huh? A tricky, friend, just tricky. We just got to watch out for the fallen rocks. And since it's only a two-lane road, we drive over near the edge of the cliff all the way. Yeah, but here do you keep your eyes open, huh? Are you kidding? If I let go of that wheel for one second, we're both up the creek. Yeah, but now we're in the California, huh? Oh, no, no, not yet, friend. Just keep your shirt off. I'm too frightened to take it off. Great dinner. And now where was I? Up at the creek. Oh, here we are. Here, we get off the Apache trail, into Phoenix, Arizona, that's nice, wide-open desert country, hundreds of miles of fast-driving over the desert. Yeah, but is it safe, huh? Oh, sure, we take along plenty of water just in case the car overheats and we get stuck. Oh, sure. Now, don't tell them that you're afraid of those desert sandstorms, or those coyotes or rattlesnakes. They got an astexia. You mean they got an astexia in this desert? Oh, well, you stop worrying. Whenever I go through the desert, I take along plenty of anti-snake serum for snake bite. Yeah, but I suppose in the snake, it is a serum before he's a bite to you. I'm worried. Now, look, we go on from this point. We can keep going. You three, I don't have to stand here with taking no more insults. Sing, Pascuali, where would Luigi go through? I don't care. Did he have any money at all? That's none of my business, and I'll stop a bottle of me. You get me all a plabagrasset. Shows the... you think Luigi would do something foolish? Your Luigi is very impetuous. Perhaps we should call the city hospital. Pascuali, you better pray. If anything bad happens to Luigi, we'll take you to court and see that you get the electric chair for 20 years. Calm down. Calm down, we shouldn't take the voice. But how can I help worrying? This big ham-hawk here has got the heart of stone. Nothing bothers him. All right, so I got a heart of stone, so I don't care for that ungrateful little boo, but like I said before, it's in my business. Hey, man, I'm Pascuali. Got a lead on that basket. What if you're not here? Well, I don't get it. You hire us to get information on Pascuali right away, and now you don't want it. Look, it might be. Come on, am I stoned? No, wait a minute. The Pascuali hire you to find Luigi. For 75 bucks a day, he hired himself a private eye, but I don't know what for. Look, it might be. I... You don't want me to know, huh? So you don't care for Luigi. How, Pascuali? I'll get out of here. Oh, yeah, Vinny. Vinny, it's yours. It's your Pascuali. I'm a walking around haitler myself. I wish that I was a dad. And at a short, he says I've got a hard store of... ham-hack. I'm sorry, Pascuali. 75 dollars a day. Thank you, Vinny. You could buy a bloodhound for that. Can I talk now, Mr. Pascuali? Yeah, yeah. Well, wait a minute. I don't quite know yet, but the trail's getting warm. I traced his movements to his tailor. He paid off a buck he owed on a cleaning job then he went to the barber and took a close haircut. Luigi with a close haircut? Oh, Schultz, he's adjoining the Marines. Let me finish, will you? Then he said goodbye to a Mr. Ostro, a Mrs. Pellegrino. It's only the newsboy. Then... Then what? The newsboy said he took the sea car going north at about 5.18 p.m. That got us to the bus stop. He took the bus. No, no, we traced him to the railroad station. How do you like that a pop squeak? I must spend an assembly five hours a day and he's a traveler of his class. No, no, he didn't take the train. From there on, we lost him. Look, Mr. Detective, please. Don't stop looking. At every penny I got it in my pocket for Schuali's 75 dollars, huh? Yeah, yeah. That makes 76 dollars. Yeah, but go out now and find him, huh? That's all right, but staying around here ain't gonna help us anything. Hello, friends. Hey, where are you, Luigi? How are you? How, friends? Is it good to see you all again? How about Schuali? How about Schuali? You're crying. Luigi, next time you let me run you away from home I'm never gonna talk to you again. Luigi, Luigi, where did you go? Who brought you home? What happened, Luigi? Schuali, you know how you always have told me I'm sure to stay in my own little backyard? Yes, a little cabbage, you puss. As soon as I'm found out the Americans have got a mountain of cyclones and bezels and rattlesnakes, I'm never gonna want a western than a western avenue. Welcome home, my son. Hello, Papa. I'm back home in my little antique shop and I'm learning the new respect for the bigger part of America that I never saw yet, the west. Maybe someday I'm gonna take vacation in the California and I'm not gonna go by car. No, sir, I'm taking no chances. If it's a nicer day, I'm gonna walk. You're loving the center, Luigi, but you're going to immigrants. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Spear Mint Chewing Gum hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi and they want to remind you that on the job or off the job you'll enjoy chewing Wrigley's Spear Mint gum. It's refreshing to sink your teeth into a piece of Wrigley's Spear Mint because the lively Spear Mint flavor cools your mouth and freshens your taste. Then, too, the chewing itself gives you satisfaction and a refreshing little lift. So do as millions do. On the job and off the job enjoy chewing Wrigley's Spear Mint gum often every day. When you go to the store, remember to get a few packages of Wrigley's Spear Mint Chewing Gum. The makers of Wrigley's Spear Mint Chewing Gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Basko writes another letter to his mama Basko in Italy. This is a Cy Howard production directed by Mack Menow. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Basko with Alan Rita Spasquale, Hans Conrita Schultz, Mary Schiff as Miss Farley, Joe Forte as Horowitz, Ken Peters as Olsen and Sydney Miller as Bob Lickman. This is the CVS Radio Network.