 Assalamu alaikum and welcome to Making a House a Home, Ramadan special with myself Sanaa Arraji and our guest Fahima Muhammad, a qualified life coach and an LLP practitioner. Assalamu alaikum Fahima. Thank you for joining us today inshallah we're going to be discussing how to take forward the lessons we've, lessons we will learn during Ramadan and how to implement those lessons in our lives. Fahima would you be able to go into depth about this? Yes of course because many of us are really hyped about Ramadan and we perform and we do whatever we need to do during that month which is great but we have to remember that when the month's over and in order to keep that spirit alive and going the real test comes afterwards. Yeah. Just like when you're driving and you know you have your lessons and you pass your your driving test the real test is when you're on the road for the rest of the time. Yeah exactly the same and we need to understand that once it's over you know you need to sort of again after reflection it's to appreciate the fact that you were there to actually experience another month of Ramadan sometimes we don't even you know reflect upon that every year goes by so quickly and we're growing we're evolving and we're learning but with that we're actually gaining a lot of strength and knowledge yeah we're actually growing as individuals as humans and we need to sort of take the lessons from it in a very very practical way not just think that okay we go a lot of the time it's back to the norm what is the norm this should be like part of your new norm you know when you finish Ramadan and you start you know the following day after the aid you know you need to sort of think how am I going to practice this and keep this alive because you know we feel the spirit and we feel that spirituality in that month which is so blessing and we like everyone's calm and peaceful and kind and nice to one another yeah and it all kind of disappears slowly and disintegrates so when things are sort of like over and finished we need to sort of take some practical tips as to how can we you know bring Ramadan into our lives on a daily basis mm-hmm so it's not even about just reflecting it's about the lessons what are the lessons and if we actually realized that what we were supposed to do and what we did do during the time in the holy month of Ramadan when we were fasting when we were tired and we still managed to do the extra worship yeah the extra prayer and to go to the mosque and to pray in the you know during the last few days and you know go to the mosque and all of these things then actually in a normal day we should actually be thinking that we can do a lot more but we don't do that we think that you know actually we just go back to you know reality of you know the normal life of just work at home and whatever other entertainment that we might find ourselves doing mm-hmm yeah but it's really important that not just to sort of take those lessons to the next level but for the next Ramadan you know pray that you were there for the next Ramadan and that whole year could be preparation yeah that whole year could be reflection that whole year could be building a character and the virtues within yourself mm-hmm yeah basically you need to set yourself some realistic goals yeah and have this as an outcome that you really want to do realistic goals like write down what is your Ramadan checklist the Ramadan checklist is first of all and first you know is the prayer and we think that we can't do that after Ramadan but then even fasting it's recommended even during the normal days after Ramadan that we should be fasting on a Monday and the Thursday for example yeah certain times of the month we have so many occasions during you know the year that we can actually used as a reminder to bring us back to the mosques and the communities and to actually give as well in charity to continue with our work that we do during Ramadan time and actually build bigger projects and get into action so those are the things that I think those are the lessons and when we have self-control and self-restraint and yes we we are aware that in that month we are held back and Allah gives us the you know that blessing in order to you know keep us calm in that way mm-hmm but because we are able to do it then we should really practice that afterwards yeah definitely every day yeah no definitely and like you were saying with just like fasting on perhaps Mondays or Thursdays that all kind of also contributes to preparing yourself for Ramadan for the following year so you're kind of used to that yeah that routine that you know what on these days I'll be fasting whether it's just once a week or once every two weeks so that when it does come to Ramadan you're you know it's not as difficult or it's not as much of a challenge from you know when when when you're doing it literally just on that month of Ramadan so you know that that's also a good lesson to kind of you can use that to move forward so when it does come to Ramadan it you know it's less challenging and there's health benefits to it anyways and we just don't even yeah exactly yeah benefits of continuation you know continuing in the sort of like you know fasting and giving in charity should be regular it brings about so much blessings even after when you the more you give you know the more you receive yeah and the more the more you do that the more you can reflect as to how much you have and have blessings and gratefulness and you know like with the Sadaqah the charity that you were saying I know of people who what they do they'll they'll perhaps have say I don't know 50-20 peas and every day it will become a routine so when they leave the house they'll put Sadaqah there when when they come back they'll put Sadaqah and so what it becomes a lifestyle so that you you don't kind of do it just for an occasion you do it as part of your everyday life I mean that is actually really a really good way of setting yourself into a habit of giving charity because that every day you know a few pens that you put away and at the end you collect it yeah it really amounts to so much more people don't realize that and again it comes back to creating new habits and it takes you know statistically around 90 days in fact that we say as coaches in order to create a new habit once you conscious of it and then you keep you know basically replaying that habit in your mind in your body in your and then also with the actions but at the same time when you really want something and you want something really bad it can be instant okay so just like with the charity if you make up your mind that every day I'm going to take out a few pens and put it to one side that is an instant habit you just need a reminder there's a trigger that we have within us in order to remind ourselves whether it's a time that we look at or you know something that we do in the morning or in the evening that will you know remind us we're putting taking our wallets out from our pocket or something we have to make sure we take out a few pens from there yeah or make it fun for the children to for them to get involved because you know children they love doing that you know the pocket money or the little money boxes you can make that a routine for the children and you know they can become familiar with charity from a young age and it will become fun and they'll be asking you won't they mama can we put Sadaqa or mom dad can we put charity and it will become part of their lifestyle as well so it will benefit the whole kind the whole household really wouldn't it and you know we always feel that you know we have to be in a certain particular environment in order to have spirituality and we need to get that out of our heads yeah we need to be in those zones whenever we need to be in those zones and you know by us always knowing that we have that connection with Allah's Panathala we have that love for him yeah and the debate then that becomes something that we can switch on at any time so don't use the excuse that Ramadan is gone the spirituality is gone that time is gone just like when people go for Ziyara or for Hajj or anything like that or we can't feel that spirit again no of course it's not the same no one saying it's gonna be the same yeah but you can bring it alive when you need to bring it alive sometimes you know drinking the water from there or you know or having a memory or a thought and you know or you know remembering that maybe you were in a certain person's house or being part of a community or a project yeah continue with that project make it bigger be something make it something positive something that could come to light and to life you know in the long term especially when you're talking about communities and structure I feel that it shouldn't stop just Ramadan Ramadan is a kickstart yeah and it should really jumpstart you for the rest of the year definitely to continue with these projects and to make it even bigger and to open it up so that each Ramadan is becoming a lot more easier and these issues are going to be less and less because they've been actually been dealt with yeah and that's where the real learning and lessons come into play yeah so you know the practice of it has to be solid but you can't do that unless you have the intention and the right amount of knowledge and understanding about it people just come and go in and out of life you know like birds they fly into their nest and do and you know feed their children and leave and then you know go back to work again note that it needs to be consistent it needs to be continuous and that's when that aliveness of that feeling and that that whole idea of you know feeling blessed and you know feeling that's you know that sort of like benefit of those holy months can come into your household every day and you know the barakah and blessing it brings into your household when you try to bring this back even when it's gone you know the relationships around you that will improve you know your sustenance you know all of your desires all of your fulfillment and happiness people like I don't know I can never be happy I even have money I have the career I have the professional car whatever it may be we're not happy why why is that because we don't understand what brings happiness and that is you getting closer to your creator and that's actually you improving yourself and Ramadan again it's just a start of what we need to become you know being Muslim is becoming more not just being somebody yeah becoming more so constantly strive towards it yeah I mean would you say that maybe going to regular Majalis yeah and we'll kind of ignite that spiritual definitely connection with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala and and so that you're constantly on that path of of of beings connected and minded yeah and reminded because for myself personally I feel when I go to gatherings of Majalis whether it's for a Maulood or if it's for a Wafat or you know whatever it's for I feel that just that community that gathering that dua that brings it together that everyone is there for the same purpose and we'll and we're constantly being reminded just by going to a Majalis you're being reminded whereas maybe if you detach yourself from going all year round and you just go during Ramadan you you've disconnected yourself slightly and you don't have that spirituality as much as perhaps maybe going regularly would you say that would be something you know what you've said actually made me think about something else which is even more important is because sometimes the groups and the friends that we attach ourselves around you know drives us towards or away from where we need to be so that needs to be taken into consideration so there's always speeches there's always lectures there's always something happening and we're lucky in our religion and the sect that we believe in there's always something happening it's that we don't know about it because we don't get ourselves in that way of thinking the knowledge we don't attend the Majalis and I mean the mosques enough to even know or even have a calendar that tells us you know on this month or this day because there's always something even every day of the week there's a dua every Thursday there's dua kumail at the mosque even and that brings about community on Friday mornings you do dua nidabah whatever it may be you know on a weekly basis you're telling me that you can't find spirituality and to continue so that's what I'm trying to say when you want and you seek that automatically that knowledge comes you know to you that awareness is brought to you and then that practice can be taken forward only if you have the intention of wanting it so want it need it feel for it you know like want it like air yeah because it's really vital for us and it's good for our health in every essence you know essence it's really really helpful for us we want to be successful we want to be happy we want to be fulfilled we want to be you know creating and building where does that all come from it comes from those sort of aspects in life that we include in our daily routine yeah and people don't see it and they don't do it and they think that okay reading five times a hour it's not just that it's what you do in between yeah so bring that to your homes definitely treat your family well be good to yourself even people say we don't love ourselves we don't have the confidence why not Allah created you love that Allah created you as you of course it's not about being you know arrogant that's about appreciating the gift that you are given this life that we have yeah you know so that way of thinking and that thought creates a different human being and it creates a different way of living and when you have that thought because you have the awareness then that alone you know brings about a different set of values that you have for yourself and we need to create these values that are strong so that we can be individuals in this world yeah to influence and be leaders and be masters in our field yeah in our religion and be taking it forward to the rest of society and communities yes definitely and I think it's very important for us women to to make sure that we we do become leaders because we are the ones that are bringing up the next generation and so it's so important for us women to empower ourselves to be motivated to set good examples for our children and and perhaps even another way would you say to maybe maintain it throughout the year is if you have a few hours to go and do some voluntary work in the local hospital that is so and and help out I mean and God bless my mother she she's an example who I've learned from and she's she's a volunteer volunteering at a local hospital and she finds that empowering and and that gives her closeness to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala because it's another way of serving her Lord of course and you're doing it because your near is for the purpose of Allah not for the purpose of being popular or saying you know what I'm doing this everybody look yes so that could be perhaps another way that we know we could try to maintain it throughout the whole year so that we have that closeness constantly driving towards Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and worshipping Allah and doing it in different ways it doesn't have to perhaps be sitting down always reading the Quran reading we can do it perhaps through actions of course that's what's needed yeah to bring yourselves out into the society and when you're helping others in that way and being seen as we are as we represent what we believe in and being open in that way and practically putting ourselves out there literally putting ourselves out there we are representing exactly representing in a good way and also another thing I want to discuss is that we always think and believe that we have to have Ramadan in order for us to feel spiritual we have to have perfect situations perfect scenarios perfect environment perfect relationships in order for us to behave and act in certain way we need to build ourselves as individuals that regardless of what's around us we need to be strong and we to always be good and we to always create a sense of being where we will represent our values and beliefs regardless of what is against us or pressing us or what is like you know trying to stop us a holder's back we need to build those sort of characters within ourselves yeah and teach that to our children as well yeah things are not going to be perfect things are gonna be testing and it's gonna be challenging and it's gonna be difficult but that's when you shine and rise and you know jump over those barriers a lot more so the strength we need to build with ourselves as individuals is vital you know these lessons that we take is not just in a practical form of just you know practicing the obligatory we need to build strong you know sort of like personalities within ourselves when we have those personalities and the strength within ourselves the power that it brings and prayer is our protection and our power nothing and no one will stop you you become fearless and your you know your life is limitless because of that belief definitely and you don't need anyone or anything when you have that mindset psychology is so important to build you it can break you or build you it's not just about having skill it's the psychology yeah and people don't realize that so I work with people closely to build their psychology to get it to a level where they need to be regardless of the situation but people always react and conform according to their surroundings and their environment and yes we can fall into that trap but we need to overcome that now yeah definitely I think like you said we really do forget about you know the psychology behind everything I think we neglect our minds we don't you know we don't put as much attention to detail perhaps on our on how we could improve our mindsets sometimes and so that that can you know affect our life because we're not we're not training our mind we might be going to the gym or you know eating healthy and you know it's not working but it's not working we might have lost weight might look better feel better physically but we're still thinking well hang on we're lost I'm still lost what's going on so yeah that is true one quick tip of you know of understanding the way in which we think is that we do have stories in our heads constantly and we need to come out of those stories and those stories are not necessarily true yeah question it and that's a very powerful way of you taking control and the other thing is that we give whatever meaning we want to yeah so you know whatever scenario that happens in our lives we can make it mean one thing or another and if we are strong intellectuals within you know immense knowledge with wisdom because a lot of us have knowledge we can Google every kind of knowledge you know we don't even need to have a degree and a masters as much because we can you know pick up stuff so easily and so quickly having to be smart about the knowledge that you have and how to use that knowledge that's the difference yeah there are people out there that are scholars they're great speakers they don't have the platform because they don't have the ways in which to move forward using what they have so you need to be smart about how you want to maneuver and have a plan an action plan as to what is it that you want to leave behind you we all gonna go we know that you know that the end of the day this is a given in life and there's death so what does that mean for you and we're gonna remember this all the time how many of us even the youth or even adults go visit the graveyards you know these things are so vital and important to bring us back to reality it's not about being you know oh I'm being sad and trying to bring oh you know people say oh you know it's just so depressing no it's not it should actually uplift you you realize that what you are given right now and you're breathing right now and straight away even a next second it could be taken away so make sure you make those moments that you have really really vital definitely make it important you know for yourself and for your family don't be following you know the rest of society and say I'm having a midlife crisis I need to like you know have a list of these things I need to take off my bucket list and go to Vegas or wherever it may be no don't be selfish like that be at home with your family you take responsibility be committed be part of what you stand for not just you know vocally but through action people talk a lot and we have the right intention you have the right intention you will perform so perform we need to perform inshallah and that's like a fantastic way to look at it I mean we should utilize our time in the right way and but we're gonna have to go for a break now and inshallah we will come back and answer some questions so thank you very much for Hema you've highlighted some great points and I've again learned a lot and I'm sure our dear viewers have learned a lot so inshallah and we'll see you soon assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh assalamu alaikum and welcome back to the second part of make making a house a home where we've been discussing how we can move forward and from the lessons that we learned during Ramadan how we can move forward with those two now I do have a few questions from the viewers that they would like you to answer please and now the first question is from a sister Sumeya and she says how can we maintain spirituality after Ramadan again it's all in the psychology upwards you know what exactly did you learn what exactly did you want to learn and what exactly do you want to you know set your goals as so you need to question yourself constantly you need to seek even more knowledge on a daily basis I mean Islam is all about seeking knowledge and we say we say that very lightly and loosely but actually we're not actually seeking the knowledge because that's why we constantly you know confused and we constantly you know understand still yeah things like this end which it shouldn't be because we should be on a constant continuous like you know convey about learning it's continuous learning life is continuous learning and we openly you know learning and reading about things even outside the idea of Ramadan but you know something that could help enhance what you need to do for example you learned about you know I don't know a project that needs doing and you learn that because of some information because you are out there in the community and that could be part of charity and that's part of learning and that's part of Ramadan and that's part of the spirituality can be connected yeah so people always look black and white when actually in life you know the learning should be broad and it should be wider and then we can bring it back to you know what exactly it still entails you know with regards to our about values and beliefs and that's when you become smart and wise yeah and you can actually you know work around society and living and integrating as people want us Muslims to integrate this is how we can integrate educate ourselves widely and bring it back home and and you know to bring spirituality I mean what does that mean to you you got a question what is spirituality we say these words and each one it means something different so question yourself yeah does it mean to you does it mean that you want to have an environment about it create your home like that then yeah do do do our command in your house you know invite a few friends around or family or just even between your own husband and wife and children and create that sense of being and I tell you that it's so important to have that in your own home it's so much blessing and people don't even take the opportunity of doing that just shut down the TV for half an hour and before having dinner or after having dinner have that time in your home and this is real practice yeah and these are things that we can do on a weekly on a daily basis there's so many do ours that we can have even if it's five minutes just to sit when the when your husband comes home you know when you come home and you finish with the children just ten minutes before bed just do a do our together on a daily basis do you know how much but that is yeah you know how much reminder that is it's not just when you have time by yourself it's not just when you feel that it has to be a particular occasion make it a daily routine learning is routine yeah not just an exam period even when I try and coach parents and students with regards to study it's having a mindset of always studying and always learning and always you know seeking so that when it comes to exam time you're gonna just be more organized but the learning and the information is already there you just gonna put it all together then yeah you know and enhance it yeah so it's just same with spirituality what does it mean to you and make it something a lot more and again you know in this life we need to understand you know what value we give to ourselves you know how do we really want to improve and look at ourselves really really look at ourselves reflection is so important yeah and that you know again you know and don't just we always do things because we feel it's it's something we have to do do it with love it's a different meaning altogether it's a different feeling altogether and there you go there's spirituality in itself yeah doing it with love and you're more motivated of course you are whatever if you love anything you're more motivated to do something because you love that you know whether it's a person or whether it's the job whatever it is I think you're right when it comes to love we will get motivated we will do anything to make sure that we will do it and get the job done that's why when you say that you know yes people have the human tenderness of being depressed and lonely and whatever it is yeah but when you're from a young age or even for whatever age you start creating a habit of having that connection and the love for Allah the love for the Ahlul Bayt that alone will never leave you alone and you will never feel alone yeah and you'll never be alone and you will always have something within you that is strength and power and that's what brings spirituality and that's my meaning but you know we each have our own you need to figure that out for yourself and create it and build it yeah definitely I mean would you say spirituality could be like you know when you go to university and you're constantly studying and then the end result the day of judgment which will be your test so we could perhaps look at it in that way think you know what every single day is part of our learning we're learning every single day so let's think of it as that concept and the end result which will be the day of judgment is when we will know whether we have passed or not so perhaps if we try and look at it in that way that could perhaps motivate us as well and and as you were saying with the like the repeating the routine yeah and the spiritual how to get their spirituality there perhaps like reading every single day with your child before bedtime you know when you have a story yes part of that after their story would be read a sort of the Quran and make that every single day I know people who do that and their children ask them where is the Quran we need to we need to read it exactly and so like you're saying it's that it's just a routine and routine yeah and it's simple steps like that will get you where you need to get to without you realizing and we say we don't have time but slowly when we open the doors as we would want goodness then the time opens up for us yeah so everything is possible yeah subhan Allah so that's amazing really I've learned a lot from that too and so our next viewer is Ibrahim and his question is what practical tips can you actually give us that I can use after Ramadan well you know reading Quran a lot of the time we neglect a lot so we feel that there's only particular times we can do it but as we mentioned before you know to listen to it or do you know in audio or even carrying a smoke on with you and actually you know practicing to even read a page a day just a page a day yeah it's so important you know when you do Salah it's so important and that added along with that it brings a different human being to you and we have to understand we are being protected by those words whatever we are reading whatever we are believing it's a protection we can be careful but we don't know what's gonna come to us yeah so we need to be aware of this this world can be you know so I don't know you know for example anything can happen accidents or you know crossing the road or being in a car and not even being able to see something but that will be your extra sense and your extra eyes and your extra sort of reaction need because you actually took the time to read a few lines before you left the house yeah definitely when you open that door you know to actually you know close that door from the house and open your car door and sit inside before you know turning anything else on the radio whatever it may be listening to LBC you know listening to I go for seal say it out loud to yourself or when you're walking on the street all of these things is practice all of these things are tips you know which is so simple it doesn't take effort it doesn't even take time it's just a memory that you have to just say it yeah I know I think some every step some people struggle with having to have that routine and I think some people struggle to change when they have a structured life and they go to you know they wake up get the kids ready or go to work come back dinner go to bed and so that that routine becomes not addictive how shall I say it comes repetitive yes so they constantly do the same thing and it can be difficult perhaps for some to you know implement even if it's just a small thing like reading one page of a soda so I think maybe change is quite difficult for some people to do something that people need to embrace I love change you need to want change you want to come out of your comfort zone because that's when you evolve and grow yeah when you become you know powerful and that's where you build strength you know even through challenge and trials and tests people just don't see it like that mm-hmm they want everything smooth they want everything you know flowing but that's when you know you become depressed and sad and obviously bored yeah you know it's a bit of excitement it's how you look at it yeah so you know I want to be challenged in life because I know that's gonna give me a learning I want to be tested yeah that's gonna give me a new insight yeah so you need to think like that yeah when you have those thoughts and you have that awareness then your routine will not ever be the same again even if it's the same but with that go on with that sort of with that recitation that is so powerful you know even without you making the change the change will come to you yeah you don't need to look for doors the doors will be right in front of you and there'll be plenty for you to walk into and Charlotte yeah that's that's fantastic advice and our next viewer is Zaynab and her question is how can we make Ramadan more appealing for the youth well first of all you need to understand why is it appealing for you and reflect that and you need to have the knowledge about it as well know that why is this the holy month why is it blessed and what are the blessings and use your own experience because we all have a journey and we don't start off all greats we've all come from a certain level and we've hopefully you know improved and increased mm-hmm so speak about that okay and what was that experience about and talk to the youth with the time the thing is that we don't you know talk to our youth about and our own children and you know cousins and family members that are younger than us is that we don't become vulnerable when we are vulnerable to our children to a certain extent then it becomes a connection that they want to relate to and listen to when you build a connection with somebody they want to see you being vulnerable at times to say that yeah it was tough even at your age but this is what I did and this is what my parents did this is what my grandparents and this is what that you know I was advised this is the lectures I listened to and this is what brought me to where I am and this is how I improved even with all the studies and with all the education and the best schools that you go to you can have all of that but without your religion without your spirituality without the right mindset you're not going to go anywhere that far you're only going to reach a certain level but to reach the heights that you need to be this is what Islam brings when you talk to your children in that way you need to become a motivator you need to become a coach you need to become someone who you know who is empowering yeah so you've got to be empowered yourself first you can't teach people and tell people and advise people because they can feel it if it's true genuine you gotta be passionate first yeah people listen to you they will be engaged with what you're saying because when you want to teach be someone first then you can teach and that can be transferred so you need to transform yourself constantly we have to transform ourselves we just always build ourselves and slowly whatever we're doing transfer that and you know take that advice and get that alongside your transformation you can actually help the transformation for young people yeah no definitely and and also what about perhaps getting your child into the center's programs they have a lot of amazing like programs for the youth in different game but just with the same sort of people who are experiencing the same thing I mean that's not a bad thing I don't mean when when I say to go out into communities and integrate that we shouldn't be still you know embracing who and what we are in our own cultures of course that's healthy as well yeah that's when you know especially for children they want to feel like is it what they're doing they're part of a community exactly yeah you know and that is really healthy for them gives them security doesn't it? It gives them a sense of belonging we do need to feel a sense of belonging yeah and that connection that people are similar to us doing the same things even in an environment where we might be the minority but it's fine because we have a group of people that are like us that speak the same language eat the same food you know have the same rituals in whichever sense that's not a bad thing too but don't just you know stick to that particular way only yeah that's what I was trying to say you can get the best of both worlds you can have the best of both and teach them yeah because in life we're going to have to go out there in the real world at some point anyway in school university and work yeah and we need to be confident in ourselves that we're going to still carry our values and beliefs and not be influenced and be the one influencing not be the ones that are going to be following but the leaders ourselves yeah so we kind of set our children up with those skills for their life so that when they do go to university and they maybe traveled across the world they're used to differences they use diversity tolerating others but at the same time they they hold their beliefs strong and within themselves and they won't conform to somebody else's ideas and if they ever do they know it's wrong yeah exactly yeah exactly that that's very true yeah and now our last viewer is anonymous and the question they've asked is during Ramadan there is more of a sense of community how can we maintain that throughout the year yeah I mean Ramadan brings families together brings communities together and obviously there are occasions you know most nights and especially towards the end that you will find that people gather together so when you want to actually bring about a sense of community you don't need to always go outside the house you can actually bring it to your own home and you can actually set something up for your own family or you know a small gathering with friends that you have or whatever it may be and that sense of community can still be alive and yes it can be you know really exciting during Ramadan because you get to meet people it's occasions that you're going through but with us we have so many of that really yeah that we just don't you know make ourselves aware of it and we forget that you know we say the little things and we worry about the big things yeah but all of it it's important and all of it can bring a sense of community and if it's not there you can set it up yeah you start a group yeah and would you say it's a good idea to get you know the calendar for the whole year so you know yeah you know whether it's a mulled whether you know what's happening in your local center ask them for their for their calendar for their timetable so you can have that everywhere yeah yeah most senses do and also it doesn't even have to be religious as well you know if you're meeting with friends and family and you want to even have a book club yeah I think it's a really good way of sharing ideas it gets you motivated to actually read because you know you're going to be talking about it it gets you to get into a community sense it gets you to talk about something and sometimes you don't want to be so you know into something so intense like religion for example so you have a book which might remind you of certain things like about life about development just generally which will improve your lifestyle and it's part of religion anyway but not in a sense where you're labeling it back yeah so you know that is a sense of community you know bringing people together you do that once a week once every two weeks once a month whatever your availability maybe yeah a lot of people do that I know that you know there's all these like these meetup groups and you can set one up yourself and do it in that way or just amongst your own community that you feel or your you know your neighbors or someone close to you so there's many ways of you know bringing Ramadan alive there's many ways of always bringing the lessons of Ramadan and taking it forward to the rest of the year we just have to be creative we just have to have that need we need to have that want we need to have it you know with love and when we have it with love and we have a connection it can definitely be alive most of the year not just in Ramadan and we can benefit throughout the year and we can take the lessons and let Ramadan be like I said again a kickstart a jumpstart for us to continue for the rest of the month. Inshallah definitely and on the topic of perhaps someone who's converting to Islam or is looking into Islam obviously Ramadan is a time where we we tend to all gather up in in the medallists or the in your local center and like for them what advice would you give them to kind of maintain the spirituality because their connection isn't you know completely there yet they're just building the steps to get there so what advice would you give to someone they still continue with those sort of programs okay because there's lessons for rebirths and so they need to have you know where we were brought up from a young age and learning how to pray Salah all of these things you know they're still lessons and they still meet in groups so even if it's nothing to do with religion they are meeting groups and like I said if it's not there you can ask the mosque and we set something up and use your space yeah you know which is available not everyone has the home and the space of the time to do that so you create it for yourself and that sense of community can still be there and you can have that something set up so when the time of Ramadan comes there is no loneliness the community is there it's set up from before it will continue and it will only grow and in most cases it only does grow and all you're looking for is a bigger space and that's your only issue which is actually a good thing yeah definitely so there's always a way there's always possibilities always keep striving and I think that Ramadan is a blessed and holy month for so many reasons and I hope we've highlighted that it's so much more than just you know abstaining from food and drink yeah and just the usual worship which is vital but we can gain so much more from it and inshallah this the series is mainly there for people to sort of open up their eyes to change and embrace the change in order to improve don't look at change as a bad thing look at it to improve and to grow yeah and go out of your comfort zone don't be scared to go out of your comfort zone you're only going to learn to evolve from it yeah and you know there's so much that we have that we don't see as blind spots that we have in our lives all the time yeah and the only way we can be open up to it is when we put ourselves in situations that we wouldn't normally do so I think we need to really just you know love ourselves enough to give ourselves the opportunity to grow in whichever form that needs to be okay that's great that was beautifully said and and perfect for a great ending so and we've reached the end of the show now and thank you so much for him again I've learned a lot and I hope that you've learned a lot of information from this topic inshallah you'll see us again on another episode of making a house a home and have a blessed Ramadan assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh