 Why have you, uh, addressed the issue of, uh, the gay documentary? Jesse's homosexual. I knew then this guy is gay. Any woman that's climaxing is becoming a man. I can't help it. I don't have that erotic love, but I know what you're saying. Have you ever been with a black man? Instead Jesse ended up grooming me. After having sex with him, he told the man, now you're born again. I actually saw him kissing your mother. Oh, man. This guy is, like, disgusted by women. I mean, he's victim to a vulnerable people from broken hearts. There's some people born equal. Yeah, the mother is angry yet. I ask myself, why am I so afraid of my mother? He liked a tweet from your daddy-only fans. Are you homosexual? Homosexual. Michelle is a first-time caller out of Detroit. Michelle, welcome to the show you on the air. Hi, how are you today? All this well, Michelle. Thanks for calling. I had a question. I'm just kind of confused. Why haven't you addressed the issue of the gay documentary? It's not concerning to me. She says she was liberal. She was having doubts. She lied. What a wicked woman. Do you love the homosexuals? No, I do not. I hate homosexuals and I wish that they would all die. And why do you hate them? Because the Bible portrays them as violent predators from start to finish. And if we look at reality, they are violent predators. They are recruiters. They're not reproducers. They're recruiters. You are a sell-out brother and a sell-out human being. And you try to perpetrate being a fraud in the name of God. Amazing. So you're supposed to be a minister and you're supposed to be a counselor. And you know what? That's what you got on there. Tom. Who ain't got nothing. I noticed that whenever the children of the lie, whether it's the so-called Christians or non-Christians, when they want to promote evil, they always used blacks to promote evil. And blacks, because they hate white people and they are not of God, they are too willing to promote evil. Growing up, I never saw anything like that. And it's just amazing to see it today. Yeah. Well, it's terrible the way that they've been weaponized against us. I think it's pretty obvious why Charlie Kirk had Rob Smith on the stage. Rob Smith was there to be the black gay veteran who would shield Charlie Kirk from criticism from the left. Right. It's really a substitute for moral courage. Instead of Charlie Kirk saying, I'm a Christian, I oppose this, I'm going to stand up for God. He wants to get a black homosexual on the stage so that he could say, oh, see, look, I'm complicit in evil. And the left one attacked him. Right. That's the idea. You are the biggest hypocrite. What's your question? You sit here. My question is, why are you such a big hypocrite? Because I can't help it. OK. I can't help it. On his Twitter page, as you can see, you know, he has all of his likes here. And then if you scroll down a little bit more, you see that he liked a tweet from your daddy-only fans, XXLboy. And basically, this is the video of two men having gay sex and it is censored. He liked this on his public account for his show. This is hilarious. This is hilarious. And he left that liked tweet up for hours. It was there for hours. And immediately after he realized that he liked that tweet, he set his account to private. Probably because he's going to scroll through and make sure that he didn't like any other gay porn tweets because he maybe thought that he was using his throwaway account, not logged into his public account. So, you know, like, I'm not like an expert with social media at all. Whenever I use it, I'm like just really one, two, three, those simple things. But over the years, I've had friends of mine who tell me, who would tell me social media is mean. They put nasty things on there, on your YouTube channel. And so I had a friend tell me once, I won't mention his name, but he a real popular social media person. We were at a conference once. And he was telling me that, and he was like, Tick, and I had never seen him be Tick. I was like, what's up? I had just started out for the most part. I'm not just starting out, but he was saying that these radical homosexuals were putting nasty sex stuff on his computer, on his social media thing. And he wanted to know why, why were they doing that? And he would find himself clicking on it, not realizing that, how he was seeing it or something like that, but he was Tick. But so apparently according to my social media people, they were doing it to me too. These nasty homosexuals are putting their nasty growth sex stuff onto your social media. And they set it up to look like you're just looking at something else or they make comments. And if you don't know what you're doing, apparently you will find yourself looking at it. I have been saying for a long time that homosexuals who are pushing this know that they are wrong inside, within themselves, they have guilt. And they say that if they can convince the world that homosexuality is normal, then the guilt would go away. But I believe that the guilt will still be there because it's wrong even if everybody says that is right. But you're already there. You've diagnosed this whole thing absolutely correctly. This is a process by which to get rid of guilt by killing one's conscience. And the only way you can successfully do it is if you've got everyone to agree to the rationalization. You've universalized it. I also heard that you have had the experience of having sex with other men. Maybe, man. We're going real deep here, aren't we? Yeah. I mean, apparently it's out there on the internet. There's a lot of stuff out there on the internet, yeah. Did you say that? Yeah, I'd say I'm bisexual, yeah. So you have sex with men? Yeah, sometimes. First of all, what's the purpose of putting that out there like that? Why let anyone know that if you did that? So that I can come on here and have wonderful conversations about it with you, Jesse. Nothing makes me more happy than talking about my sex life with a bunch of conservatives on the radio. I love it. But what was the purpose of you letting it be known that you have your woman have sex with other men and you have sex with other women and men and she does too with other men? Why put that out there like that? Why did you tell anyone that? I'm pretty open with everything that I do. And I think that people should be more comfortable to things they do. So rather than keep things kind of hidden and pretend that I live a very traditional life. So I like to talk about the non-traditional. And so is your church a homosexual church or something? No, we're not a homosexual church. We're about 50-50. We got 50% LGBT, 50% straight families. Amazing. And do the straight family know that the rest of us are homosexuals? I'm a very gay pastor, Jesse. So I think they all know. Are you a homosexual too? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. And when did you become a homosexual? When I was born out of my mother's womb. And why did you decide to become one? I didn't decide. You know, I think God decided that one for me. How do you know you were that way when you were born out of your mother's womb? Well, because my earliest memories of being attracted to people are being attracted to men. You what? I'm a homosexual. You're a homosexual? I have to be a favorite. Yeah. Are you really? And what does that mean to be a homosexual? What is that? I'm just like you, Reverend. I love all people, every single one of them. But you love them in a sexual way, right? Oh, not the kids. But yeah, absolutely. I love folks. And so you're a homosexual? Oh, yeah. Well, I like every man, woman. How did you become that way? Oh, I don't know. I mean, I was raised pretty well, loving parents. Couldn't have been them. I've just figured around 15, 16s. I like all sorts of folks. You take anything that comes along. I have to find them hot. But yeah, there are lots of hot folks all over the place. I think, by the way, you look wonderful today. So I think you- Are you liking me right now? Oh, no, not like that. I just think that you're fantastic. You're aged wonderfully. You've felt all the spirit going on. You're well-haircut. I think that you're a phenomenal example. If you were into men, you would have your pick of the cut. Let me tell you. I appreciate that. Have you ever been with a black man? I have. You've been with- You have sex with a black man? Oh, yeah. And isn't it true that once you go black, you can't go back? Rotic love. When you really want someone, I mean, you might love them and have kindness to them, but you also want to possess them. But I don't have that ironic love, but I know what you're saying. But that's not the kind of love I'm talking about. Do you accept that those people who have been able to overcome it, does that convince you that maybe it is not from God and it's something that you can overcome? Because they completely put aside that it's possible to overcome, that they're born that way. Well, for many people, many people have tried for decades to change their sexual orientation, and it has not worked. Well, for many, it has, though. For many, they have, and you guys are not accepting of that. You are not loving of that. Some people have different experiences. Some people experience what's called more sexual fluidity in terms of their sexual orientation, and there's nothing wrong with that. But Matthew, are you loving of those people who have managed to overcome homosexuality? Yes, I have. And do you accept the fact- I think that invalidate their stories. And do you accept the fact that it is possible to overcome it? Well, it also depends on how we're defining overcome. No, I'm asking, it's a yes or no question, actually. It's not, there's no, it's not a trick question. Do you accept the fact that some people have experienced complete overcoming of homosexuality? Well, what do you mean by that? What do you mean, what do I mean by that? It's just a straight question. It's a yes or no question. That's how I deal with it. I'll depend on what you mean by sex. You don't know what it means to completely overcome something? That their behavior changed, but their attractions didn't change. And a few small number of other people will say that all their attractions changed as well. And so I was just asking you to clarify which one you were talking about. I'm talking about those people who were once homosexual and had homosexual relationships with other men and now are married with children and they've completely overcome it. And by overcome you mean that they no longer experience any same-sex attraction? Absolutely. Okay, well, I mean, I wouldn't deny that that's a possibility. I would just say that for Exodus International, which was the main ex-gay group, they shut down last year and the guy who run it said that more than 99% of the people he was working with who were trying to change their same-sex attraction could not do it. And so even if there are some people who can, I don't think that that can be a universal answer to the question to get there or to other people who can't. That was because he didn't know what he was doing to help the people overcome. Do you know Alan Chambers? Because you shouldn't say something like that. No, I do know him. He did not know what he was doing. Former Bond House manager, 50-year-old Robert Santner, alleges he witnessed similarly strange behavior in 2021 between Jesse and current Bond producer James Hake. What I witnessed him and Jesse were hugging each other intensely, rubbing each other's shoulder down stuff and he came to a point where I actually saw him kissing him on the cheek. I just want to say like right off the bat, if Hake ends up being gay, this is the most-called thing in the universe. This dude is repulsed by women. He is, this guy is like existentially disgusted by women. You know, I mean, it might be all, yeah, I don't know. Hake has, in all the people I've seen and talked to, Hake has quite possibly the most internally destructive understanding of their own sexual interests and desires. Of any person, I've just ever even been aware of, you know? I don't even know how much of it has played up, but yeah. And that other boyfriend, the two other boyfriends you got, this is the world. Pasta boy, that's me. Oh, goodbye. These stories first came to light when Jesse's former co-host and alleged decade-long gay lover exposed him. 61-year-old Patrick Rooney has known Jesse for nearly 30 years, dating back to roughly 1992. Everybody know Patrick Rooney, one of the smartest white men on this out of heaven. I was molested as a boy by another boy. And I was probably about eight years old. I mean, I didn't write it down in my diary or whatever. So, you know, there's no diary when you're eight years old. So probably about right around eight, I'm looking, I'm looking at photos of myself and just kind of get my best estimate as I probably around eight years old. So I had something you call it in psychological or spiritual terms, kind of maybe like you get like a weird attraction or something to what traumatized you. Fast forward to when I was an adult and I was still not quite over the stuff, although I had not ever acted on it. I met Jesse and Jesse, one of the first things he did is asked me if I was a homosexual and he started to counsel me. And I, the understanding was he was going to counsel me and help me overcome any issues that I had so I could come back to the self that I was when I was born and I was free. Instead, Jesse ended up grooming me and later we ended up having a over a 10-year period of sexual, totally wrong sexual relationship. Let me tell you how bad it was. Jesse married Pat and his wife. He was the minister to the group presided over the wedding. And later, he prayed upon the husband, had a homosexual relationship with the woman's husband whom we married. After having sex with him, he told the man, now you're born again. I was a bond member. Jesse Lee Peterson has an organization called Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny. And I was there almost from the beginning, 20 years from 92 till about 2012. I was involved with bond and I left. And Jesse's latest known purported victim. I started going to bond around May 2020. It's a thing to all the people that want proof. I don't want to remember this stuff. You get me? Like, I didn't want to be like, hold on, let me, Jesse, you're going to do this to me? Let me record real quick. Yeah, let's do it. Like, that's weird. I wasn't even thinking that to expose him would be to expose myself like, and I wasn't ready for that. Someone asked the question of how can you say he put on your pants like, and to that defense that you made me thanks to whoever left that comment because you made me remember. At this point, I was already working out like consistently because I was like, you know, motivated. I was like feeling on top of the world. I was working out consistently trying to make myself stronger. So it's always Jesse. So I would take off my shirt and he would look at my body like, oh, man, like, and I would do it because oh, Jesse, let me show you the work I've been doing. Look, look, check this out. I'm not proud of that. I probably shouldn't have done that, but hey, man, whatever. And then at one point I would tell him, oh, I'm working on squats. And then he's like, oh, let me see your legs. So at first it started with like pulling up, you know, my pants, like from the, from the, from the boot up to the leg. But then it became, oh, take off your pants. And I was like, okay, I'm going to just pose right here. And by the way, the whole time the door is locked. So no one saw this stuff. So that's what led to the moment where first happened. I had, I believe I had taken off my pants and then it was just me sitting in like my boxers and then him kneeling in front of me because I was about, oh, and he would do this pretty often where I would want to pull up my pants, but he would be like, no, no, don't do that. I'm like, what do you mean, Jesse? Like, stop, man. I'm trying to pull up my pants. He's like, no, no, come on. Like, and he would just do his little lap. Like, and then, but then that's what, that's when he did it, right? And then I went into the silent prayer and first he pulled down my boxers and then he starts rubbing it and he's like, why is it getting hard? I'm like, why are you asking this? Like, of course it's going to get hard if anybody touches it like, come on. It's a, it's a penis, man. Come on. And then he would, he would laugh and then, and then he did it, right? And then I, I'm just shocked also, but I'm also letting him do it, which is a shameful for me to admit, but I mean, he's, he's telling me all this feel like, look, Samuel, I know you're like dealing with this. You don't know what to do, but I just want to warn you not to tell anybody your business. Anything you've been through, don't tell anybody because they're just going to turn on you. Like, they turn on everybody. Like, if you notice anybody that shares other vices, all that happens to them is that they, that they get turned on, you know? So I'm like, look, Jesse, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know if I'm going to tell people, but all I know is I'm done. I'm done with bond. I'm done with you. I want nothing to do with you ever again. Don't ever come to my house ever again. And I also told him, look, Jesse, I remember the, the day that you, the day after the first happened, I called you like scared and like confused. And you told me that Satan told you that I was gay. And after that day, I would just question myself, always question myself. I never, ever question Jesse, which is another shameful thing. And it goes to the cult personality, like the cult psychology that you don't question the person that is causing damage to you. You question yourself. And you, yeah, Jesse says, don't put me on a pedestal, but he, he sets it up to where you do put them on a pedestal. So anyways, what I told him is like, look, I never questioned you, but what I should have asked you, I should have asked you if you're gay. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Before I even said it, he said, no, no, no. And then I knew then this guy is gay. Another alleged victim was Trayvon Chapman, who in 2015 told his friend, now 43-year-old Arman Martikian, that Jesse molested him. The first thing came out of his mouth, that Jesse's homosexual. After this encounter, Arman began questioning his own relationship with Jesse. And then I had a flashback. Back in the day, when I was in a private counseling, he kind of just showed me, let me see down there, pointing at my, referring to my, you know, down there as in my private, not knowing what was about, I'm not late, very late teens at that moment. You know, like kind of got tricked into it, pulled my pants forward where he kind of looked at it. Oh, you said, don't tell anybody to shut up. I'm not your bitch. You act like my bitch. No, you act like my bitch. No, you act like my bitch. You're complaining. At church militant in Detroit. And what surprised me about them a little bit was that I grew up a Catholic, my whole wife. I mean, I was Catholic. My parents were Catholic. They were Democrats. And, you know, I grew up the 60s and 70s. And we were kind of on the liberal side of things. They had already gotten rid of the Latin mass. They had already gotten rid of some of the more hardcore elements in the church, but they also started to lose their morality. And the people at church militant are really into bringing back the old morality of the Catholic Church. I'm not a Catholic anymore. And I probably never will be. I don't subscribe to all of the things that they believe in, but I do respect them for the morality and their adherence to biblical principles. Some of the people that were working on our side of things were kind of looking where we're going to put this story. Who wants to, who was going to put out this story about Jesse Lee Peterson? Who's going to believe it? Who's going to get behind it? Who's going to give us a chance? And Jesse, it just so happened, was doing an interview with church militant. And one of the people working with us sent them some information about what was going on here. The guy kind of wiped the floor with Jesse. After the show was done, after they did all their tapings for the night, they all gathered around and looked at it and said, wow, we didn't know at the time that these guys, these guys investigated Catholic priests who were molesting boys or at least alleged to and some of them I believe shown to be blessed. So we had no idea, but afterwards they were looking at it and they were blown away because they liked Jesse. They had brought him, they just interviewed him. They gave him a tough interview, the last interview they did with him, but prior to that, they were loving him because they had a lot of agreement on the right side of things. They had a lot of agreement on conservative principles. Jesse appears to have used every dirty trick in the book to silence him. Allegedly trying to have Francis arrested for violating an unserved restraining order. And they're calling us dangerous and there's nothing on us. We don't have any heavy overcoats. We're not wearing anything that looks like we may be concealing something. We just have jackets on. He couldn't even tell the police that he actually saw a firearm. Otherwise, when they did search me, they would find that he's lying. So he was just saying like he keeps putting his hands in his pocket and acting erratic. And I think he may have a gun then and so they came out for that handcuffed me and searched me. I actually gave permission to do that. I don't think they were going to do that. I wrote in my response. I expected them to call the police and serve me with restraining orders. Jesse has lied before pulling the same antics with Fabian Asensio. Yeah, him and Patrick didn't lie. Patrick Rooney, when he went there the first time 10 years ago or something with Fabian, they did the same restraining order thing. And Fabian was never fired from his job when he worked at Bond. He was never fired by Jesse. And that's what Jesse said in his restraining order, his temporary restraining order request. And that was a lie. And Patrick backed up the lie by staying quiet. And at one point Patrick actually corrected Jesse and said, no, he hasn't threatened us or anything like that. And then that forced Jesse to recant. And then the judge asked him, after the judge asked him the second time, did Fabian do anything violent or make any violent threats or anything? And he's like, no. And so the official document we sent in to them. Does it look official? Yeah, see, that's all the words. If you freeze frame it and blow it up, you'll be able to read it. But who wants to do that? Okay. And then finally, this last piece of paper is the order, the written order that the judge said at the bottom. Petitioner's request for civil harassment restraining order is denied. You're rejected. The court finds petitioner has failed to sustain their burden of proof. All temporary orders, if any, are dissolved. This is why I was able to go to the post office and have a friendly chat with Jesse. Sex was definitely and only designed for the marriage bed. It was a gift from God. You just to make a baby. What? If it was just okay. Okay, I have a question for you on that. This should be just bam, bam. Thank you, ma'am. Then answer this question in. I need you to answer the question, Jesse. Why did God give male and female as long as everything is generally okay, you know, health wise, why did he also give them, what's the word? The ability to enjoy, have pleasure in the midst of marriage if it's just wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. I didn't have any pleasure. No, no, no, hold on. It's necessary. Hear me, what? Because he has to, him getting to his point is necessary if it's just procreation. If it's just about procreation. Why did God give men and women pleasure if it's just wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. Because he allowed the fall to happen so that they could wake up in emotional state because if they didn't have that emotion they would have a perfect peace and men and women would not, men and women would not be attracted to each other in a sexy way, right? And so God didn't want to keep making man with his hand. At first he was making from the earth and the earth. But he wanted, he came up with this idea, I'ma let it come through the woman. And the only way that that could happen he had to allow them to turn away from him so they would not have peace. And in that state of anger, they have a false sense of love because anger awaits you in a sexual nature, right? So they have false sense of love and once they get married make all the babies they can make then they should stop having sex and return to the father. Why does the woman have pleasure then? What was, what would be the point? Because she's angry. So she has, her pleasure comes out of her anger? Yes, it's for her ego. Because when we get an ego drive, when the man is attracted to her, she control him, she knows it, right? And so it will feel her ego. No, I'm talking down nitty gritty, doing the bumpity bump, pole getting it in. She has a climax. Why? It's unnecessary if it's just for procreation. Because she's been turned away from God and her anger awakened that emotional and that false emotion feel like love. I got one more question for you then. Well, let me tell you that. A woman is not supposed to be having a climax. Any woman that's having a climax is becoming a man. That's why a woman has to make herself do it where a man does it naturally. Climax and that's the word? Yeah, right. Any woman that's climaxing, that's the right word, right? I know you want to know, you're a virgin. Virgin don't know anything. Any woman that's climaxing, climaxing is becoming a man because it's not normal for women to do that. Right, I think it's a lie. I don't think they do that. Oh, you don't think they do? No. You think they're pretending? Yeah. Really? That could be possible. You think when women act like they're doing that, they're lying? I never thought about it, but you never know. Yeah, because they would be making a man think he's really doing an amazing job. Yeah, I think it feels good, but yeah, the climaxing part, I'm not so sure about that. Yeah, women don't let... I don't know if y'all are doing that or not, but don't even try because if it were natural, you'd naturally do it. But the fact you're trying to make something happen, you're becoming a man. A man is turning you into a man, a fake man, but a man. Right, not a real man. A drag queen man. A perversion. Yeah. Is your wife your partner? Are you saying that your wife is your partner? Yeah, yeah, my wife's my partner. I think you're my partner. Are you married to a man? I think that's... I love that. I'm not married to a man. So if you're not married to a man, why are you calling your wife your partner instead of your wife? Well, that's just a confusing question for me to even know how to respond to. Well, why if you're not married to a so-called man, why are you calling your wife your partner rather than your wife? The homosexuals, the radicals, they use the word partner because they're trying to fit in into the norm. They try to fit an app norm into a norm. No gap. And why are your wife your partner and not your wife? But you're not even the head of your wife. Let's go back to Kristen. You don't have one. So, okay. Kristen. I've looked at the research behind this and I've looked at the reporting and some of the stuff that they haven't felt able to release yet. I've also looked at some of the testimony from people who... But I've kind of looked at the notes of this and I know the reporter who did it in person. Right. I know him personally. So, he's credible. You would vouch for him? Yeah, he is. Okay. 100%. Yeah, he's a good guy. He's a quaker actually. I mean, he's a big, you know, he's a... So, what would you say to the people? Because I'm reading the chat. Like, I guess a lot of people are saying, well, there wasn't, you know, completely clear evidence. It's kind of just, he said, she said. I mean, I do find it weird. Like, you know, you obviously people know, you know, our former homosexual. So, like, does JLP, like, have all these, like, signs to him? Like, to me, I never thought that in a million years. And why are these guys coming out and saying, like, oh, yeah, I had gay sex with JLP? You know, like, that's kind of a weird thing to allege, right? I don't think... Well, I don't think it's new. People will know that Jesse removed Reverend and the word pastor from his website some time ago when a lot of his black congregation started to leave. And they left, they've been leaving over the last couple of years because of this. And this isn't actually much of a secret to those people who spend a lot of time around Jesse. Especially after that guy started posting all the blog posts. I'm satisfied having looked into this, and I don't say this with any pleasure at all, that he is homosexual, at least bisexual. I'm satisfied that his behavior rises to the level of predation. I mean, his victims were vulnerable people from broken homes, that people were trying to get clean from drugs, fatherlessness, you know, people who were beaten to within an inch of their lives by their dads. And he's praying sexually on young, vulnerable men and has been for decades who are in this house that's supposed to be a sanctuary for them. And that's the bit of it that makes me feel really uncomfortable. And if you were thinking of, you know, because you adore him so much, and I did, and part of me still does. But if you're thinking about, you know, whether you can turn a blind eye to this, the bit of it that makes me deeply uncomfortable is the fact that he knew that these people were from vulnerable and broken backgrounds. He knew that they would not make, you know, the best, I guess, witnesses or they could be easily dismissed. And he used that information to approach them sexually. It's been going on for decades. Some of them were in their late teens. He's deployed law enforcement and restraining orders against at least one of them. He's clearly unrepentant. And the behavior according to the guy that ran his house up until last year goes on to this day. I mean, we're talking about, what, 30, 40 years of this behavior. Were some people born evil? Were some people, if the mother was mad while being pregnant, that can happen, yes. Because she can pass that spirit into her children while in the womb. Are some people born homosexual? If the mother is angry, yes, that can happen in the womb because it's all spiritual. And so you can be spiritually traumatized while in the womb. The spirit of homosexuality is of their father the devil. It's not them, the person. It's the spirit that made a home in them and it came from them overreacting to some sort of a situation in life where there's from someone messing with them when they were kids or overreacting to an angry mother because you become like what you hate. Most men and women, boys and girls don't hate their fathers. They yearn for their fathers. Their soul is yearning for the father, but they hate the mother because it's the mother who has passed on her anger to them by being either aggressive or pushy or too weak and cunning and stuff like that. So they resent the mother and that's why and when you have anger in your heart like that, the nature of anger is fear. The children of anger is fear and doubt and worry and security, suicide or thoughts, depression, overeating, over sex and over lying. When I had to go and forgive my mother and face her, I was like 38 or so and the closer I got to the house where she was staying, the fear would just overtake me and the reason I had to fear, it was because I had the anger and in anger you have no love. Satan is your father and in him there's nothing but destruction which means fear and doubt and all that. And so my mother came to LA to visit her sister and I knew I had to go and forgive her because God said when you forgive others, He will forgive you. I'm driving over there, fear would just overtake me. By the time I got there and got out of the car, I could barely walk up. It was about three or four steps I had to walk up, maybe less than that. I could barely get up to steps and I asked myself, why am I so afraid of my mother? I'm a grown man and I realized it was a way that she had acted, treated me when I was growing up and I resented her for it and you become like what you hate, you become subject to what you hate and you're afraid of what you hate. I am homosexual and that I cannot deny that that is the part of my nature and it's something I've always known about myself ever since I was a young kid and I used to struggle with it when I was younger. I'm 30 years old now by the way. I used to struggle with it when I was younger and I came to terms with it and I feel okay about that in myself but I find it hard to relate to other gay people. It's like anything that you've covered about going to Pride parades and with Hollywood or whatever, those are mostly people I like that and I cannot relate to them and I find most of them to be immoral people. So I feel kind of stuck in between two worlds where the people that want me to identify with them, I do not want to identify and then a lot of other people don't like gay people.