 The Harold Perry Show. You said it. Harold Perry, as Honest Harold, the homemaker. Well, let's look in on the little town of Melrose Springs, home of that popular radio entertainer, Honest Harold. It's early morning now, and we discover Harold on the way to the radio station. Working, yeah. He's about to pass the residence and clinic of his oldest friend, Dr. Yancy, the veterinarian. What a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day. Gosh, the bright morning sun certainly makes Old Doc Yak Yak's clinic look a little antiquated. Look at that old weather-beaten shingle he's got hanging on the porch. You can hardly read it. Dr. Quinton Yancy, DS. DS. Wonder what that stands for. Oh, just temper shots. What a character. I think I'll drop in and see him in a minute. How's the Pasteur of the Poodles this morning? Only kidding. Hey, you must be going out in a case. You're wearing your alpaca coat and your surgical sneakers. Of course, Harold. This is the morning I make my weekly visit downtown to the animal shelter. See if there are any warm noses down there. Oh, yeah. You've been doing that for quite a while now, haven't you, Doc? Oh, yes, I've been resident physician there for 20 years. Resident physician. In fact, the county veterinarian inspector is coming to town today. Oh, of course he'll appoint me for another year. Oh, of course. Yes, sir. Harold, you ought to see me, my little friends down there, the way they wag their tails when I walk in. If I had a tail, I'd wag it right back at them. If you had a tail, you'd be in there with them. Oh, see, that'd be kind of nice. Oh, my goodness. I better get started. I want to pick up a present on the way down. One of the Cocker Spaniarders having a birthday today. Oh? Yeah, thought I'd get her a pound of hamburger and put three candles on it. Well, here's Arthur McGote. Hello, Arthur. You sure fond of that goat, aren't you, Doc? Of course, Harold. Arthur has personality. He has a certain air about him. He sure has. See you later, Doc. Get out of the way, Arthur. Be yourself. I need station KHJP. Just a moment. I'll connect you. Good morning, Glory. Oh, good morning, Harold. Is my dear boss Stanley Peabody in? No, he's down at the city hall this morning. He had some things to do with Mayor. Mayor? How can a pinhead like that hold down two jobs? Well, he had to meet the county veterinarian inspector this morning. Oh, yes. The inspector's here to make the appointment at the animal shelter. Of course, you'll pick Doc again this year. I don't know if he will or not. Why? There's a new inspector coming this year. Really? Yes, I heard him talking to Mayor Peabody on the phone. Gloria, you listen in on their telephone conversation? You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Uh, what did they say? Well, he said he might have point that young veterinarian that just came to town. Huh? He's going to visit them both and inspect their offices before he makes up his mind. Inspect Doc's office? Oh, my goodness. Wait till he gets a look at Doc's mailbox. An old red-hard can. Yeah. Doc's glory. It'd be awful if Doc didn't get that appointment. Why, it would break the old fella's heart. I guess it would. Hmm. Wonder if I could talk that new inspector into pointing Doc. Maybe I could bribe him with a couple of cigars. Oop. If the Kefaber committee is listening, I'm only kidding. Poor old Doc. He was so proud going down to that dog shelter this morning for this briefcase full of dog biscuits. I've got to help him get that appointment. Well, better talk this over with Pete. Hope he's in the police station this morning. Pete, I want to talk to you. In just a minute, Harold, I'm on the phone. Huh? And I'm talking to my girl, Eloise Zygonfuss. Oh, no, not that. Eh, what was that, Eloise? Oh, sure, Eloise, you know how I feel. I don't have to tell you again. Oh, no. Oh, no. Eloise, don't make me say it right here in public. God's teller, Pete. Well, all right. I'll say it just once more. Eloise, I think you make the best marble cake in town. Well, that fits a marble cake for a marble head. I'll see you tonight, honey bunch. Goodbye. Oh, she's a wonderful girl, Harold. Yeah. I got to meet her sometime, Pete. You and I are Doc's oldest friends, Pete, and we got to help him. Help him? Yeah. You know, he may not get appointed at the animal shelter this year. Well, why not? Well, there's a new county inspector coming, and I heard he may give the job to that young veterinarian. You know, the one that's got that up-to-date fancy office? Oh, well, I guess Doc's office is a little old-fashioned. A little old-fashioned? He bought his office equipment at Army Surplus. Must have been from the Spanish-American war, though. You know, I always wondered why his doormat said, remember the mane. Well, it's up to us to do something, Pete. We can't let old Doc yak-yak down. I'm with you, boy. You got any ideas? Well, maybe we could help Doc modernize his office before the inspector gets there. Say, I could lend him my picture of Cedar Bearer. Oh, thanks. Now, I got an idea, Pete. What's that? You and I could pay a little visit to this young veterinarian's office and kind of snoop around a little. Maybe we could get some ideas how to fix up Doc's place, huh? Harold, that is a doozy. Yeah, thanks. Come on, Pete, let's go right now, huh? Okay. Oh, wait just a minute. Shall I say goodbye to the prisoners? Oh, yeah. Be back in a little while, boys. Don't go away. Oh, please. Now, here we are, Pete. Yeah? Hmm. Pretty fancy place for a dog and cat hospital. All painted white and green shutters. Look at that sign. Tail-wagger towers. And look at that doctor's name. Dr. J.J. Winchester. Sounds like a repeating rifle. No, no, no. Well, come on, Pete, let's go in. Yeah, okay, boy. Don't forget now. We'll act like we've got a sick dog. Gotcha, boy. And keep your eyes open. We'll find out how they do things in a modern place. I'll put everything down in my notebook. Yeah, notebook. All right. Hmm. Got a buzzer on the door. A buzzer on the door. Let me write that down. Pretty swanky waiting room. Chromium chairs. Venetian blinds. Venetian blinds. Let me write that down. Look at that picture on the wall. Pete, an autographed photograph of a Doberman pincher. Say, Harold, that dog writes a nice hand. Let's see what it says. Dear Dr. Winchester, thanks for cropping my ears. Thanks for cropping my ears. Let me write that down. Never mind, Pete. Good morning, gentlemen. Good morning, Dr. Winchester. Howdy. What can I do for you? What? Oh, just thought we'd come in and see a man about a dog. It's a nice little place you have here, doctor. I suppose you have all the latest equipment. Oh, yes, yes. The very latest. Air-conditioned kennels. Exercise yard. X-ray machine. X-ray machine. Let me write that down. What was that? Pete, you're a lint head. Lint head. Let me write that down. Doctor, what we came in to find out is just how you'd go about treating our little animal. Well, I use the most modern methods. First, I have my nurse preparing for examination. Nurse, let me write that down. Then, after examination, I give whatever treatment is indicated. Internal medicine, shots, or diathermy. Let me write that down. Harold. What? How do you spell diathermy? You were saying, doctor? Of course, I record a complete case history on every animal. I keep them in that steel filing cabinet. Doc keeps his and old Milka Magnesia bottle. Well, gentlemen, I've told you all about my hospital. Let me ask you a few questions. What kind of a dog do you have? Dog? Well, um... Er... Erdale. I beg your pardon? Well, he's an Erdale, but he looks like a collie from the back. He's high-waisted. I see. What seems to be the matter with your dog? The matter with him? Well, I don't know. You're the doctor. Um... Has he had a diagnosis? A diahousis? Gentlemen, you want to know what I think. What's that? I think your dog is mythical. No, he's a collie. What? Come on, Pete. Let's get out of here before Winchester goes bang. Gosh, poor old Doc's place looks worse than ever after seeing tail-wagger towers. Maybe I can talk him into fixing his place up a little before the inspector gets here. It's his only chance. Look at this door. Almost off the hinges. I'm gonna knock easy. Where are you, Doc? I just came off my operating table. I'm nailing it back on. Oh, my goodness. Old Doc's about as modern as a Stanley steamer. Look at those magazines. They're so old they're turning yellow. Let's see one. Literary digest. Assist on the cover. Results of the election poll landed by a landslide. Looking through my magazines, huh? Yes, Doc. You couldn't borrow any of them if you wanted. Thanks, Doc, but I know how the First World War came out. Well, Harold, I had a wonderful time down at the dog shelter this morning. Oh? Yes, dogs were so glad to see me. Oh, next week we're gonna have a farewell party for Spotty the Terrier. I found a home frame with some awfully nice people. You did, Doc? Hey, it'll be kind of a double celebration. I'll be beginning my new year at the shelter, too. Poor old fellow, little does he know. Doc, have you ever thought of modernizing your office here a little? Huh? What's the matter the way it is now? Well, nothing, but it does look a little old-fashioned. Oh. Now, Doc, I mean, you might fix it up a little. Get some magazines that are up to date. You might make a better impression if you are a white coat and took off those orange suspenders. Well, if you're ashamed of me, Harold, you don't have to come here, you know. Oh, but, Doc, I... Oh, I suppose I am just an old, fuddy-duddy. But my animals love me. I love you, too, Doc. I want to help you. That's what this is all... Oh, my goodness. Then you should have let that billy goat run around your office. Yeah, that, Arthur. We're not good enough for Harold anymore. Well, Doc, you don't understand. The inspector... Arthur, what do you think of a man who's too high-toned for you? What do you think of a man who's too high-toned for his old friends? Come on, tell Harold. Who asked you to horn in? What's the up-to-do, Doc? I don't think Arthur liked that, Harold. Call it off, Doc. You'd better get out of here. I can just beat into the door. Maybe you'll have to get a new goat. We will return for the second act of our story, Honest Harold, in just a moment. Jack Benny, the eminent violinist, is going to turn piano tuner on CBS this Thursday evening. And Jack Benny, the eminent comedian, at the same time, will essay a straight dramatic role as the same piano tuner on CBS's fame suspense program. We cordially invite you to lend your ears as Jack Benny stars on suspense this Thursday night on most of these same CBS stations. And now, back to Harold Perry as Honest Harold, the homemaker. Well, it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. And Honest Harold is learning that it's even harder to get an old dog doctor to change his ways. You're a dog going right. Harold's efforts to get Doc Yancy to modernize his office have been unsuccessful. And it looks as though the old veterinarian won't be reappointed as resident physician at the Melrose Springs Animal Shelter. Right now, we find Harold and Pete, the marshal, deep in conference at the police station. Pete, I don't know what we're going to do about Doc. Harold, did you tell him they might pick that young Dr. Winchester for the job? I didn't have the heart, but only hurt his feelings. You know how proud he is. Yeah. Say, we could fix Doc's office up ourselves. We could just get him out of there for a little while. Yeah, but how are we going to do that? Say, maybe I could arrest Doc. No, Pete, he wouldn't stand for that, you know that. Let's see, I'll find some way to get rid of him. You can be picking up some of the things we'll need. What things, Harold? You know, like Dr. Winchester had in his office. Let's see, had a door buzzer. Yeah, I can get that at the hardware store. A few pictures, some new magazines. Gotcha, boy. Say, he had one of them diathermy machines. I wonder if I could pick one up at JC Penney's. Yeah. Now, we better skip that one, Pete. Now, let's see. What else did we have? Oh, a beautiful nurse. Can't pick that up at JC Penney's. I know Pete. I'll call Flora Bell. Yeah, she'd make a cute nurse. She sure would, boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, just go, Pete, before Doc Yancey goes to the dogs. I mean, doesn't go to the dogs. Oh, what the heck? Come on. Hello, Doc. Oh, hello, Harold. Doc, I didn't mean to hurt you feelings this morning. We're still friends, aren't we? Well, of course, Harold. I just thought you was ashamed of my office, that's all. Shame? No, of course not. Doc, you've been working awfully hard lately. Why don't you take the afternoon off? Huh? Well, Harold, the county inspector's coming at four o'clock. Yeah, but you could go away for an hour or two, go to a movie, maybe. They're showing a new serial at the B's U today. The Adventures of Ren 1010. Oh, I saw that on television. Uh, yeah. Well, maybe you could go out and pick up a stray cat or something. A stray cat? Did you see one, Harold? Well, I thought I did when I was driving over here just now. You did? Well, what did it look like? Well, it could have been kind of gray. I think it was kind of skinny-looking. Oh, he's probably hungry. Poor thing. Yeah. This is a sneaky thing. I can't let him wander the streets. I better go look for him. Where did you see him, Harold? Well, it was over on the other side of town, Doc. We're way over. Oh. Well, that little stray doesn't have to worry, Doc. Yeah, she's coming. Good. I'll watch the office for you, Doc. You better hurry. Goodbye, Doc. Goodbye. Oh, Harold. Yes? If I'm not back by three o'clock, will you give the puppies their pablum? Oh, sure. Mix it with some warm milk. Warm milk? Okay. Goodbye, Doc. Goodbye. Oh. Add four drops of vitamin D. I'll do that, Doc. Goodbye. Goodbye. Yeah. Oh. Thought I'd never get him out of here. Oh, Harold. He gods now what? Be sure that Arthur takes his nap at 2.45. The goat? He needs his beauty sleep. He certainly does. All right, Doc. Goodbye. Goodbye. I hate to send old Doc on a wild cat chase like this, but the only way we can help him, well, let's see. What can I do while I'm waiting for Pete and Flora Belle? I guess I could straighten out Doc's roll top desk a little. What's that big stack of papers over here? Mm-hmm. Uncollected bills for veterinary service. Doc certainly soft-hearted. He hasn't made much money, but he's sure made a lot of friends. Come in. Hello, Harold. Yeah, Flora Belle. Come in. Thank you, sir. Wow. Where'd you get that nurse's uniform? Likey. Yeah, I sure did. It's just a little old thing that's been hanging in my closet for years. I wore it in that high school play. How was Florence Nightingale, remember? Oh, yeah. And I played Dr. Mureen, the famous eye specialist. Certainly nice of you to come over, Flora Belle. Well, I want to help Doc the answer, too. Yeah, I knew you would. What am I supposed to do, Harold? Do? Well, when the inspector comes, just stand around and look kind of professional, count a few pills or something. That will help Doc make a good impression. Oh. Do you think I'll make a good impression on the inspector in this uniform? Oh. I think you will, Flora Belle. Well, let's get down to business, huh? Why don't you kind of dust off that microscope there, huh? All right. I think I'll just take a peek through it. Well... Why? All those cute little things swimming around down there. Don't you come and take a look, Harold. Well, just for a minute. Put your face down here close to mine. We can both look. Well, all right. Your shave and lotion smells wonderful. Yeah. Minnens for men. Well, better look in the microscope. What do you know? Amoebas. Is that what they are? Mm-hmm. Look at those two getting off in a corner by themselves. Must be a boy amoeba and a girl amoeba. You know something, Harold. The big one looks like you. He does? My shoes. Well, that's his antenna. Oh. It looks like they're kissing each other. Yeah. Flora Belle. Yeah. Let's pretend we're amoebas. Oh, hey. Think I'll swim over your way? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here I come. Hi, Harold. I got... Pardon me. Hello, Pete. Flora Belle and I were just looking at amoebas. Yeah, sure. Now, Pete. You're the only guy I can have. How are you, Miss Flora Belle? Oh, just fine, Marshal. Well, Harold, you got all the stuff. Huh? Here's the buzzer for the door and the battery. Good. Magazines. White coat. Got that at the barbershop. Well, the inspector will be here at four o'clock, Pete. Now, let's get busy. Oh, what can I do, Harold? Well, Flora Belle, if you don't mind, will you take these old magazines out in the back and hide them? All right. Guess we're in those days. Where? Oh, well, never mind. Never mind. Yes. Come on, Pete. Let's hang up these pictures. Yeah, well, just a minute, boy. I want to check this door buzzer. Huh? Testing. Nice tone. Hey. Now, come on, Pete. Put the buzzer down. Let's get the pictures up, huh? OK. Guess we better take down these old pictures first. This one over the desk has got to go. Grover Cleveland. Hand me the chair, Pete. OK, Harold. Oh, my goodness. Arthur, you're supposed to be taking your nap. You're probably hungry, Harold. Well, I'll feed them when I feed the puppies. And I'll lock them up. OK, Pete. I'll get up on the chair and hand you Grover. Got you, boy. Baaah. Huh? What is it, Pete? Arthur just swallowed the door buzzer. What? That's reason, oh, Harold. There goes our door buzzer, Pete. What are we going to do? Guess folks will just have to ring, Arthur. Arthur, you glutton. I'm going to shake that out of you. No, that was Arthur. Don't ask me to explain it as Pete's invention. It must be Doc. Let him in. How do you do? Yeah. How do you do? I'm MC Benson, county veterinary inspector. Zoink. I guess I'm a little early. Is Dr. Yancey here? No, Dr. Yancey's out at the moment. Oh, well, I'll wait. Oh, I'm Harold Hemp, a friend of Dr. Yancey's. And this is Florence Nightingale. Flora Bell. How do you do? How do you do, sir? Oh, would you excuse me, please? I've got to go count some pills. Oh, yes, yes. Very well, nurse. Oh, and this is Pete, the city marshal. Howdy, Inspector. We're just decorating the office. Pete. Why don't you go help Flora Bell count the pills? What? Oh, sure. Got you, boy. You mustn't mind the appearance of the office, Inspector. We're just doing a little spring cleaning. Oh, I see. Dr. Yancey's really a wonderful veterinarian. Years of experience, runs a very neat and orderly establishment. My goodness, is that a goat? Yeah, that's Arthur. What's that buzzing sound? The buzzing? Well, there's an airfield near here. Oh, hello, Doc. This is Mr. Benson, the new county veterinary inspector. Oh, well, how do you do? I'm glad to make your acquaintance, Dr. Yancey. Where did you get the cat, Doc? Oh, this is the stray cat you told me about her. Oh, you found him. Actually, only you were mistaken about the color. He's not gray, huh? He's brown with a white tail. Now, dear, don't you fret. You got a home now. Dr. Yancey. Oh, yes? I wanted to talk to you about the appointment at the animal shelter. Oh, yes, of course. I was just over inspecting young Dr. Winchester's office. Oh, you were, huh? Yes, he has a very modern place there. All the latest equipment, exercise yard, x-ray machines. Diothermy. What? It's a little warmish in here. Dr. Winchester's place is quite a contrast to yours, Dr. Yancey. Oh, brother, here it comes. But in my opinion, it takes more than an x-ray machine to make a fine veterinarian. What? Yes, it takes something that I know you have, Dr. Yancey. A genuine love for animals. Well, now thank you, sir. Yeah, now thank you. I just want you to know that I hope you continue the fine work of the animal shelter that you've performed these many years. Thank you, Inspector. Oh, isn't that nice, huh? It sure is, Doc. Well, good day, gentlemen. Good day, good day, and thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, wasn't he a fine? Well, I had. Huh? All these new things doing here. Pictures and magazines. Well, you see, Doc... Well, I had, old friend. You were trying to help me get that appointment, weren't you? No. You know, Herr, maybe I will modernize the place a little. Oh, thanks for the pictures and the magazines. Man, the Goshen, what was that? That's a new door, Buster, Doc. Just have Arthur's batteries recharged once a week. Just heard the Herald Terry show, Honest Herald. The supporting players tonight included Polly Bear, Shirley Mitchell, Les Cremaine, Forrest Lewis, David Light, and feature Gloria Holiday as Gloria and Joseph Kearns as Old Doc Yack Yack. Norman MacDonald directed and the music was composed and conducted by Jack Meakin. Honest Herald, created by Harold Perry, was written by Gene Stone and Jack Robinson. Two famous CBS stars, Hop along Cassidy and Dinah Shore, will join a third class luminary Bing Crosby tonight to make Bing session one of the merriest, brightest and most tuneful half hours of the week. After listening to that. Still another guest, Jack Pepper, composer and singer of novelty songs, will join Bing, Hop along and Dinah. Stay tuned for them now as they follow immediately on most of these same CBS stations. Ladies and gentlemen, through the years, the Red Cross has helped the victims of disaster, brought comfort to servicemen in camps and hospitals and to their families. Today, with the country rising to meet the challenge of aggression, the Red Cross has been asked by the government to undertake tremendous tasks. By giving generously to the Red Cross, you will help mobilize for the defense of your families, for your community and for your nation. Give as much to the Red Cross as you can and give today. This is Bob LeMond speaking and this is CBS for you thrilled to suspense on Thursday night, the Columbia Broadcasting System.