 Hi guys, it's Monica. I am actually going to revisit a tag video that I did Three years ago. So this is the road to beautiful tag and This is a tag that Susan little poet did three years ago I actually did mine at the end of May and 2020 and When I did that tag and I'm gonna link it below, but when I did that tag three years ago, I had absolutely no idea that My life at 66 which is how old I was when I did that tag But I had absolutely no idea that my life was going to just go totally upside down in that in the next three years It was gonna take a nosedive. It was gonna be an emotional roller coaster. It was just gonna be You know complete chaos in many many ways so Revisiting this tag now three years later with all the history behind me everything that's happened in the last three years is really super Eye-opening for me. It's really made me think so here. I am at 69 Revisiting the tag the road to beautiful. I'm gonna link Susan's original video as well as mine down below So if you're curious as to Winner than a say whatever to share stay tuned ready so There were four questions this time. So the tag is a little bit shorter than last time But some of them are the four I think most important questions, right of being repeated just to see What you would say today three years later? So again, I'm linking Susan's video and my video and I encourage every single one of you that's watching this video Answer the questions in a comment below. I would love to know how you feel Now about your road your path to beautiful and obviously if you are a content creator I'm gonna leave the questions below and I invite you to do a video I'd love to hear your road to beautiful. So anyways, the first question What's and I mean I've got some notes when I was little did I feel pretty? Now I answered that question in the original video quite Lengthly, I you know, I I really expounded on that question a lot, but my answer remains the same I Never really felt pretty as a young girl And I think I might have mentioned in that previous video that I was sort of the Like if you think of Barbie, right? I know Barbie's all the rage right now because the movie which I have not seen but you all know I'm the Barbie collector, but when you think of Barbie and You know and Mitch I was Mitch. I was never Barbie. It was always Mitch So I was that tried-and-true friend sort of cocky, you know Not, you know, I was had a little bit. I was a little bit stocky a little bit overweight Not very very pretty not the most popular gal, etc but I think all of that everything I went through and I'm not gonna go into the Bullying aspect and I'll let you go back and watch that previous video, but absolutely. I never felt pretty I never felt Exceptional or anything of that nature as a young girl. So I think growing up Not feeling that way and maybe it it in retrospect did hurt my self-confidence as an adult I believe that to be true. I do think it hurt my self-confidence But growing up It made me as an adult. I think appreciate the underdog All the more I am the person that is going to champion the person that is Alone the person that's in the corner the wall flower I'm gonna I'm gonna be the one the peacekeeper. I'm also a middle child So I've always been the peacekeeper on the same way in my real life in my friendships I've always been the peacekeeper I've always tried to see the middle ground of everything and I have some friends that are super super opinionated and And and some and I two of my very close friends in real life, you know Are on the opposite spectrum of their beliefs. So I'm like in the middle, you know, I was trying to keep the peace but It did it did affect me being You know feeling that way growing up. So today I always champion that underdog and I reach out to that person That's alone. I extend a hand. I Value today, especially after everything that's happened in the last three years for me. I value friendship Tremendously tremendously. I think when you go through some Huge losses in your life you value Friends all the more you value the companionship that True friendship no matter what's going on in in someone's life True friendship is always going to be there At least I've always believed that so I value friendship. I have people I know that I can count on if I just need to run something by I Can pick up the phone and make a phone call. I can send a message. I can do a box I can and I know I can reach out and I know there will be people there Extending a hand back to me to help me to to work through whatever issue problem feelings that I have so Truth be told, you know, I I like everything About me now. I'm more comfortable in my skin than I was obviously when I was younger And I like everything about me. I like the way I feel about things and the way I look at life I am a bit too sensitive. I would change that if I could But in general, I don't think I would change much of anything, you know for me So the second question, let me read that Survey says that the number one quality men love In a woman is her being a sentiment and ladylike and what does that mean to you? so I Really think that most men Are probably a wee bit insecure at times and They're human just like we are right? Maybe they look at things completely different than we do But they are a wee bit insecure at times and I think a man Feels better. Maybe they feel more manly. Maybe they feel more in control if the woman is More softer more needy. I think sometimes men are threatened by a strong woman Well, I happen to think that a strong woman is Cinnamon night is sexy is beautiful a strong woman a woman that kind of really knows What she wants Will try to achieve what she wants, but she's not gonna step on other people to do it She's not gonna tromple on Other people, you know, she's going to go after what she wants while Making other people and I don't know if I make any sense But making other people in her life feel good about themselves, too Like I can be a strong wife I can be a strong woman and at the same time be feminine for my husband and And make him feel You know that he's stronger than me or something like that or that I might need him so that His level of security is there. I it may not be making much sense, but I do definitely believe that being ladylike is sort of like Intermingled with good manners if you want if you have good manners you're taught not to chew with your mouth open I don't you know go blow my nose all over the place in public There are certain things that that I do that you might consider would be more ladylike, but at the same Tan I'm also very outdoorsy also very tomboyish at times But I I think being ladylike just means manners, you know having good manners having common sense and big part of my common common sense is to know when my husband needs to be built up and Maybe when other people need to be built up and then be able to build them up And it doesn't take anything away from me Actually makes me feel really good to be able to build them up so that they can shine I don't have to shine all the time. I love it when people around me shine And I think I think that's kind of like, you know, yeah, you know if you're a friend of man Fenderman they say that right Fenderman And you or you have good manners you're ladylike. What if you want to call it? I think it's a whole complete package of a strong woman. I think that's what a strong woman is Right a strong woman, you know when to You know, you know when to do things, you know when to smile the right way You know when to say something, you know how to help build other people up It's a number three. Do you wear makeup and can you feel pretty without it? Of course, I wear makeup. Uh-huh. I wear makeup almost every day. I still work I have a public-facing job So I'm not going to go on a zoom call with my colleagues Looking like I just rolled out of bed, you know, just like I brush my teeth. I wash my face. I do my skin care I do some makeup every day. I may not do a full face of makeup every single day, but mascara Sunblock if I have a BB cream with some sunblock in it or Foundation I'm going to I'm gonna try to even out my skin tone I'm going to try to do all of that. I may run to the store and not have any blush on and very rarely I always forget contour. I probably don't know how to contour my face. Let's forget that I'd probably look better if I did some contouring that But foundation a little bit of foundation definitely sunblock definitely mascara eyeliner and I've been wearing some light eyeshadow in my everyday life and And I and I love it. Do I feel pretty without it? Probably not so much. I think I'd probably be feeling much prettier with a little bit of makeup on because I feel like a look better But there are days at home when I'm not doing anything. I'm doing housework I'm planning and the only thing I have on is mascara But if I run to the store, I'm gonna put sunblock on a little bit of foundation so I still wear at 69 I still wear makeup and and I and I try to accent or Bring out my best features with the makeup. I wear Maybe I don't do that much That great of a job, but I try So the last question is Where is your road to beautiful leading you and how has this changed? How has it stayed the same? You know, I wanted to to write notes on what to say. I Wanted to see if I could be better at my videos if I scripted myself but I Just can't it just can't bring myself to do it. So when I answer this question, I'm like, oh 80 What do I say? I have no idea. So Where I'm going to read it one more time Where is the road to beautiful leading you and how has this changed and I'm just gonna say that for me personally Having experienced the death of my my father, you were all most of you were with me Subscribers that have been, you know what subscribe to my channel for a while. You know how that affected me the death of my father shortly after I recorded the video three years ago my dad my dad died in July and I recorded that video the end of May and he already he was sick and then About a year and a half later my brother Very suddenly died My brother was four years older than me That that really threw me for a loop because there was no prep There was no preparing for it with my dad. We knew he was sick. We knew that he was going to be Going on the downhill slide. So we knew that was happening with my brother. It was like bomb Massive heart attack. I get the police come to my job I was my brother's art guardian on his fiduciary. He my brother. I always said to people my brother Died in Vietnam. He never he never came home from that war the same way I did but I couldn't take care of him to help with him became his legal guardian his fiduciary and When the police came that day to tell me that my brother had died I Had a total meltdown a total meltdown It was a co-work of college a to come meet me Explain what happened and it was just like this nightmare and then going to my mother I think I was the one that told my mother when I was with my dad when he died. I Was the one that told my mother my dad had died and then I was the one that told my mother that my brother Billy went to join dad in heaven and Caught her as she was ready to pass out when I told her thankfully I was in person telling her it wasn't on a phone call like with my dad It was still in the hospital with him when I called to say that he had passed away With my brother it was in person and for her that was such a huge shock and then a little over a year later My mom leaves us, you know So in like three and a half years three deaths I never Even though my mother was 95 94 But she had been in good health, you know fairly good health and we could see her declining and all that Her death was a shock as well, you know My brothers was the biggest shock but having gone through and waking up one morning and being an orphan Truly truly makes you really rethink Everything that's important to you Everything so maybe the the things that I might have stressed about the things that weren't quite perfect or weren't quite this I kind of let them go and I I focus in more now on I'm just being me and that's beautiful enough That's beautiful enough. I don't have to be any I don't have to be beautiful. I don't have to be anything but me and at that point now of accepting me right and also The hottest thing is when you have someone close to you whether it's a friend a family member or You know, but you have someone close to you and all of a sudden you see them in a different light and it's Sometimes not a good light that you see them into, you know, and so what might have totally Freaked me out two years ago. It's like now. It's like Alright, you know Nobody's perfect You know, some people aren't perfect family members aren't perfect You can't expect perfection all I can hopefully hopefully give and receive is Me, you know is is give of me Give of my friendship. I'm a loyal friend who has been a loyal friend I'll probably always be a loyal friend. I'm the peacekeeper in the family. I'll always be that way. That's me That's who I am I don't need to try to be Anyone's idea of perfect or anyone else's idea of beautiful when my mom was alive I was trying to please her because it was felt like I didn't please her but I was wanted to please her I Don't have that anymore And it's sad that my mom's gone and my dad's gone and my brother's gone and that's really really Hard for me to even to this day to think about But having gone through that and being an orphan now. I rely on me My partner my husband But mostly it's gonna be me. I'm gonna be my own rainmaker. I'm gonna make what happens in My life and I'm in control of that. There's no one but me to blame If I don't make it if something happens, don't let me to blame. I'm going to I own my own decisions fully I don't have to make a decision based on what my mom would think what would my mother think my father would think What would my father do now? It's just me and hey Jay. This is what we do You know, we do talk about stuff, but Yeah, the road to beautiful. I'm on the path of where I believe I'm the best me I can be and I'm just gonna take it one day at a time smell the roses Be there for my family Be there for my friends and appreciate those friends and those family members that are there for me Because that's what it's really all about. It's all about the people that you surround yourself with It's all about what you give to them. You give you shall receive So, I don't know if any of my answers make sense, but I'm in a much better place Even though I've gone through all this loss. I'm in a much better place three years later at 69 And it was at 66 So thank you so much for watching. Thank you Susan for doing this tag and for those of you Love to read your thoughts on the road to beautiful in the comments below If you're new to my channel, please consider subscribing I truly appreciate you and please leave me a comment. Love to you all Have a great rest of your week