 The Jack Benny program, presented by Lucky Strike.么는 Let Your own taste in throat. Be the judge for smoothness and mildness. There's never a rough puff in a lucky strike for smoothness and mildness. There's never a rough puff in a lucky strike. Yes. Let your own taste and throat be the judge for smoothness and mildness. There's never a rough puff in a lucky strike. And that's because L a same F t l s M F T. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, fine, light, naturally mild tobacco that gives you smoothness and mildness. And no wonder, for years Lucky Strike has maintained America's largest and most complete cigarette research laboratory. Prior to the auctions, the buyers for Lucky Strike send sample leaves from all tobacco growing areas to this great laboratory for scientific analysis to help determine which tobaccos are really fine. And this is only one phase of the constant research that helps make possible Lucky Strike's unconditional guarantee. Check the cigarette you're now smoking. Among all leading brands, only the makers of Lucky Strike put an unconditional guarantee on the pack. So smoke a Lucky, let your own taste and throat be the judge for smoothness and mildness. There's never a rough puff in a Lucky Strike. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Make your next carton Lucky Strike. Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Barry Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Denison, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, for the past two weeks, Jack Benny and his troop have been in New York. So now let's pick them up on the super chief en route to Los Angeles. Mary and Jack are playing a game of gin rumble. Hmm, you sure are lucky, Mary. I play better gin than you do and yet you always win. Well, it's your own fault, Jack. You don't concentrate on the cards. I do too. Now let's see. I know you have three nines, three queens, and the six, seven, and eight of hearts. So I know you can't use this card. Here. Here's the deuce of spades. Gin. Gin, let me see your hand. There you are. Three eights, four kings, and three deuces. Wait a minute. Where are those two nines you picked up? That was yesterday. Well, go ahead and deal the cards again. Yeah, I never played in such bad luck in all my life. Hey, Jackson, you got a cork screw? Here you are, Phil. Thanks. Yeah, I hope I have better luck with this hand than I... Pick up your cards. Okay. I hope I... Hmm. Hmm. Jack, pick up your last card. Whoops. Oh, boy. What a hand this is. Mary, I'm warning you. Any card you throw, I can use. Go ahead, throw one. It's your turn first. Oh, yeah. Here. Gin. Oh, I'm sorry, Mary. I didn't mean to get so excited. Now that's enough gin rummy for me. What do I owe you? $5.20. All right. I'll pay you tomorrow. Oh, Jack, you always say that. Why don't you pay up as soon as you lose? Because it's so inconvenient. I don't care. Take off your shoe and pay me. All right. I'll pay you. I'll pay you. Turn around. Turn around? Just for going to go, you take your shoe off? The fives are pinned to my underwear. Here's your money. Thanks. You're welcome. You know, Mary, you're the luckiest person... Hey, Jackson, you got a bottle opener? Here you are, Phil. Thanks. As I was saying, Mary, you're the luckiest person I've ever seen. Oh, I'm not lucky. You just don't know how to play gin rummy. Oh, I don't, eh? Well, I'll tell you what. You won $5 for me. I'll play you one more hand, double or nothing. All right. And we'll use this other deck. Now shuffle them and shuffle them good. Okay. Show you. If they're shuffled enough, Mr. Benny, I'll deal. Wait till I cut them, sister. There. Go ahead and deal. Just a minute. You don't have to roll up your sleeves. I trust you. Go ahead and deal. This time, Mary, I'll show you that you can't be lucky all the time. There's a law of averages, you know. Okay. Pick up your card. I got him. I got him. Well, this is more like it. Now let's see. This card I don't need. Here. I don't want that one. I'll pick. Here. I'll give you this one. Oh, boy. Right in the middle. I go down with six. Well, you caught me this time. I'm stuck with 24 points. Good. Good. Where's the pencil? Put your cards down first. There. Now let's see. Six from 24. That gives me... Oh, wait a minute. I can put the seven and eight on your heart run. Where? Oh, yes. Oh, but that still leaves me with nine. Darn right. Six from nine gives me... Oh, wait a minute. I can play my deuce on your three deuces. Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Right there. Oh, yeah. But you're still stuck with seven and six from seven gives me... Hello, kids. Oh, hey, Don. I just clipped Mary. Oh, stop bragging. I only got stuck with the seven of clubs. Seven of clubs? Well, Mary, why don't you put it on his four, five, six? What? That leaves me with nothing. You lose. Don. Don. Yes, Jack? Every year, you're voted as Radio's best announcer, aren't you? Well, yes, Jack. Well, it shouldn't be hard for you to get another job. Now get out of here. Oh, don't be such a sore loser. He's right. What time do we get to Los Angeles, Don? 8.45 tomorrow morning. Gosh, another night on the train. Hey, Jackson, you got any extra glasses in there? Yes, there are three of them. Thanks. Say, Jack, I'm a little hungry. How about sandwiches? All right, Mary, I'll go to the diner and get some. I'll be back in a few minutes. Okay. Let's see. The diner's down this way. See, imagine I'm charging $0.95 for a sandwich. Do you hear that whistle down the line? I reckon that it's engine number 99. All those prices that you have to pay On the Atchison Topeka and the sand. Let's see, the diner must be... I beg your pardon, mister. Yeah? Could you tell me which way the engine is? The engine? Oh, yes, you're going in the wrong direction. It's the other way. Why do you want to know? I'm the engineer. The engineer? Hey! I hope he finds it before we reach Los Angeles. It'll be the first time I ever went to Catalina by rail. Now let's see, the diner should be in this next car. Well, from what you told me, Rochester, I don't see how Mr. Benny got along without you. Uh-oh. There's Rochester in the washroom talking to one of the porters. I got a listen to this. Anything else you want to know, Roy? Yeah, besides writing Mr. Benny's radio show. What else you do for him? Well, I'm his publicity agent, manager, and last but not least, his personal advisor. Oh, well, are you going to let Mr. Benny go on television? Well, we'll be having him on television. Well, we'll be happy to discuss any audit offers. Well, why did you say that so loud? I want people to hear. We ain't had any yet. Hmm. Yes, sir, Mr. Benny won't do a thing without my approval. Rochester, another thing I've been wanting to ask you. Uh, how old is Mr. Benny? Thirty-nine. Thirty-nine? Well, I thought that was just a joke on the radio. Well, in the vernacular, we people in show business that is known as a running gag. Well, uh, how long's it been running? Two years longer than the Aches and Topeka and Santa Monica. Rochester! Uh-oh! Is that Mr. Benny? It ain't your host! Rochester, I don't like you discussing my private affairs. Yes, sir. And will you please go to the diner and get some ham sandwiches for me and Miss Livingston? Boss, would you mind making that cheese? Why? I just told Roy I was your personal advisor. All right, all right. Just get the sandwiches. Yes, sir. If I sign off your back, I'm not considering television until next year. I think he'd know better than to talk about me in front of strangers. Let's see. Oh, here's Mary's compartment. Gee, it took you a long time. Where are the sandwiches? I sent Rochester. Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello, Mr. Benny. They kid, I haven't seen you all day. What have you been doing? Oh, I was in the club car looking out the window, counting the telephone poles. I wanted to see if my mother was right. What? Well, she says there are 119,726 poles between Kansas City and Albuquerque. Well, how would your mother know? She dug the holes for them. Why do I ask them? Why do I ask them? Would you like to play a little more gin-rummy till the sandwiches get here? Well, all right, Mary. Move over, Don. Keep your mouth shut. Okay. Oh, by the way, Jack, I haven't seen your riders since we left New York. Are they on this train? No, they took another one. Well, why don't you have them come with us? Are you ashamed of them? Ashamed of them? Of course not. My four riders are very famous. Three of them have their pictures in the brown derby and the other has his in the post office. Oh, yes. Dead or alive, Sam. Yeah. Mendel's got a private room. Say, this is a pretty good hand, you dealt me. Hey, Mr. Benny, why don't you put those two kings together? Be quiet. You're giving my whole hand away. In any way, they're queens. Gee, if she'd just throw you the seven of spades, you could go right down. Dennis! Let's see. I'll give you this one, Mary. The eight of hearts. I'll take it, and here's the three of diamonds. I don't need it. I'll pick. Oh, that's a view. Now, let's see. What'll I give you? Give her the end card. No, no, no. I'll give her this one. Here. I'll take it. Hmm. Here, Jack, I'll give you this one. I don't need it. I'll pick. Now, let's see. Give her the end card. No, you saw what she picked. I'll give her this one. Oh, no, no, no. Not that card. Give her the end card. Maybe you're right. She did pick up those other two. Here, Mary. Gin. Dennis. I guess I've only got one show now. Look, and why don't you go back to the club car and count telephone polls? No, I've got to practice my song for Sunday's broadcast, so I'll see you later. What song are you going to do this Sunday, Dennis? The dream is a wish your heart makes from Walt Disney's new picture, Cinderella. Would you like to hear it? Yes, sing it. Do anything. Just leave me play. Deal, Mary. That was wonderful. Thank you, Mary. It was great, kid, but when you do it on the show, now listen, Dennis, sing it a little faster because we're kind of tight for time. Okay. Now go ahead, Mary. It's your draw. Hey, Jackson. What? You got a couple aspirins. So you finally got yourself a little headache, eh? Well, don't expect any sympathy from me, Phil. Gin. No, thanks, Mary. I've had all I need. Phil, it means something else. Look, this hand doesn't count because I wasn't watching. Now deal the cards again. Telegram for Mr. Harris. Oh, I'll take it, Porter. Here, this is for you. Mmm, a dollar. Thank you, Mr. Harris. Well, go ahead and read it, Phil. What does it say in the dollar? In the telegram. Go ahead, Phil. Read it. Let's see. Oh, no. Well, who's it from, Phil? The boys in my band. What does it say? Hurry home. We're in again. Well look, I better send them a wire. Tell them when I'm going to arrive. See you later, huh? Well, come on, Jack. Let's finish our game of gin. No, I'm going out to look for Rochester and see what's taking them so long with the sandwiches. Okay, and hurry back. I'm Star. Okay, Mary. How did he... Gee, this trip has been exciting. Saw the Mississippi, the Grand Canyon, the Dollar Tiff. Oh There's that cute little baby Do you mind if I hold him madam? No, no, not at all. Hello, baby Oh cute and his eyes are the same color as mine Lake Louise blue How old is he lady 39? What weeks? Oh You know lady yesterday when you were in the diner I came through here, and I played with him Didn't I baby He's luckier than Mary Here take him back lady. You have a lovely child. Thank you. You'll find five dollars. He won pinned to his diaper What a little doll that baby is Oh, it's you Jack. I was just going up to the diner. Oh well done I sent Rochester up there for some sandwiches if you see him hurry him up. Will you know right? I will oh down before you go There's something I got to tell you the most amazing thing happened a little while ago. What is it Jack? What happened? Well, I was in Mary's compartment with Phil when the porter brought a metallogram Yes, and Phil gave him a dollar tip. Well, what about it? What about it? Don he gave him a dollar tip a dollar just for bringing him a telegram He didn't press his suit or anything Well, Jack, there's nothing unusual about that You mean that you certainly certainly all the time gosh Jack in these times when you're in a hotel or on a train and people do a personal service for you It's customary to give them a dollar tip. It is. Yes, and you might as well get used to it. I Will not All right, and you go on to the diner. I'll see you later. Oh wait a minute Jack. I just remembered something I've got a surprise for you a surprise. Yes step right over here to compartment age Right here. Yeah, yeah open the door. Oh For heaven's sake Well the sportsman quartet. Hello fellas coming on the train. Oh, they got on at Albuquerque They've been there all week on a personal appearance. Well done I'm glad the boys are with us and that they'll be on the show Sunday Are they happy that they're going home? You know back to Los Angeles. Oh Are they? Let's love those dear hearts and gentle people. They have fog smog or sun on Sunday It makes no difference. No one's blue We feel so wet eat inside that derby. They call brown The prey of time there is something in the air that you can't find anywhere When the smudge box, but you never feel the heat There's a Chinese picture show that's it ramen runs, you know where they have cement or stars to put their feet We love those dear People who smoke in our hometown They smoke those They are so free see on the draw take the tip from one who knows and you will see There ain't a rough It's fine Great it'll be wonderful on the show. Well, don't I think I'll go back and play a little more gin with Mary Then have the birth made up and go to sleep. I'm going to turn in early, too. Okay, Don. See you later I'll soon be back home in California. Yeah, and I'll pay my income tax when I get there And if I have to I'll play my fiddle in the middle of old Pershing Square Well about another hour of gin and I'll go to bed. Oh boy, this birth feels good. It's nice to be able to stretch out Yeah, but stop stretching over to my side. Will you Jack? I'm sorry down I don't know why you insist on traveling like this. These births are only built for one Don, you know as well as I do it's hard to get accommodations on the super chief. We're lucky. We're in here I suppose so. Anyway, I'm too cramped to argue. All right and drop it. You don't have to get huffy about it You know, okay, I'm not getting huffy. Hey fellas, be quiet. How do you expect me to sleep here between you two? I'm sorry Dennis your night down There he goes Don, every night is the same thing snoring and mumbling. Ah, don't worry kid. We'll be home tomorrow I'd like to punch him right in the nose I can't go to sleep. Well Dennis, why don't you try counting sheep counting sheep? Yeah. Well, okay One two three four five six. No, that's a sheepdog Seven eight nine ten Jim Well Mary here we are home at last can I brush you off miss Livingston? Yes, please Well, thank you. Can I brush you off mr. Day? Yes, please Thank you Brush you off mr. Wilson, please now if you'll turn around he can brush your back never mind Brush you off mr. Benny. Yes, please Thank you Porter here. I'm sorry. I don't have change for that dollar mr. Benny I don't want change keep it this dollars for you. Come on Mary. I Love those dear Gentle people. She's good to be home. Isn't it Jack? Let's go over here to the cab stand Gee, I knew it would be in the papers, but how did they get it so soon? Come on, Mary. Everybody's staring at me Boy even he sounds good Ladies and gentlemen the American Heart Association has set a goal of six million dollars to be used for research for education and for community service Heart disease is our greatest challenge because it takes more lives than any other illness and causes tremendous disability Yes, ladies and gentlemen, won't you please help support the 1950 heart campaign send your contributions to Jack Benny box 500 New York City Let your own taste and throat be the judge for smoothness and mildness There's never a rough puff in a lucky strike and that's because LS MFT LS MFT lucky strike means fine tobacco Fine light naturally mild tobacco. Listen to what mr. Jay Koy Smith an independent tobacco warehouseman from Greenville, North Carolina Recently said I'm in my 37th year as a warehouseman and down through the years I've seen the makers of lucky strike by fine tobacco light ripe tobacco that makes mild smooth smoking I'll smoke luck is for 31 years millions of smokers including the famous dancing star of stage and screen Ray Bolger Take a tip from the experts and smoke lucky strike just recently. Mr. Bolger said cigarettes like dancing must be smooth to be really enjoyable Naturally, I go for luck. He's fine tobacco and for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment light up a lucky Let your own taste and throat be the judge for smoothness and mildness There's never a rough puff in a lucky strike get a carton today Well Rochester here we are at home the house looks good doesn't it sure does boss I'm going upstairs take a shower a shave and get cleaned up. Okay, Boston. Why are you doing that? I'll unpack your bags. No, no Rochester. Don't touch those bags Why not as soon as I get cleaned up? I got to rush back to the railroad station for what? I got to catch a train. I'm going back to Washington for the White House photographers ball Boss that don't make sense if you're going right back to Washington. Why did you come all the way home from New York? I told you to take a shower. There's a water shortage there Have a cab here in 15 minutes. Good night, Claudette Sure to send your contributions to the 1950 heart campaign to jack many box 500 new york city State you name a sandy show which follows immediately