 Yeah, what do you got for me? Oh, well, we were just watching a YouTube channel And we're watching the one we talk about Our model women walking dead Walking dread not dead the walking dread. Oh, I'm sorry Okay, did you watch the entire video or just part of it? Good question. I'm only um About a third way in so what do you think about what do you think on the topic? Um, you you're absolutely correct women are dreading getting older as a 33 year old I feel like it's a lot of pressure right now a post that wasn't school working I mean, I always thought oh, yeah, I'll get married. Yeah, it'll come But definitely once you hit the 33 to 35 range it hits you hard. Give me a favor. Hold your phone still. What state are you in? I'm in New Jersey Um, I'm an entrepreneur model when you were young. What do you think you were made by? by 30 I mean, what do you think? Why do you think that didn't happen? Honestly, it was location and options and my was that me well at the time at 30 I was finishing up my master's Middle of nowhere So you said you're an entrepreneur and a what and a model a model A plus sign But then I took a break I did take about three year break between the classes and doing my thesis to graduate You said you're plus signs mom. Yes. I'm always fascinated as to why college and careers Even high-level careers don't seem to keep other racist women from married Hmm Geography none of the stuff seems to keep other women from getting married. Why are you thinking why do you think black women just readily? Why do you think because I hear some black women often it's because I was in school. I'm like, well, Becky was in school Becky went to the male clinic. Yeah, she's a surgeon with a husband and four kids right So is it really school? It's cool. It's definitely cool. Um, I have a Caribbean background and my father ever since I was little He's like school school school Don't worry about anything else as long as you have your education. No one could take anything from you So it's kind of like pressure to secure that before anything else but Other people can go to school and have educational focus backgrounds after to pakistan from Uh, the middle east and they're all about that, but they still get married That's true I'm not hearing why education is doing. Is it really education? Okay, that was a long what's your long relationship? Uh, two years Two solid years Four years ago. All right. You have any brothers? No Okay, so you're only child No, I'm a middle child of three girls. Okay three girls. Okay. This explains more My sister's married my older sister's married So it's it's reasonable to say growing up you did not learn how to serve a man Oh, I did absolutely then you did or did not I did you said to serve a man Well, let me let me explain what I mean If you have brothers in the house and your mother cooked your mother would serve your father And whether your brothers were older or younger you would serve them When the plate when the dinner was done your mother would play your father's plate The women would clear the man's plates. You're right. You have no men in the house So it was all female energy in the father a lot. Yeah, well and he No disrespect to your father, but he panicked and said y'all need to get educations because I can't afford to take care of all y'all That's what tends to happen when you have a bunch of girls. You gotta get a job because I can't pay for it instead of telling you go find a husband and build a life with somebody so I can have some sons into my health You're right. Um, I would say my options as far as what I'm looking for wasn't available What are you looking for? You know intellectual brother ambitious How tall are you? I am five five. Do you know what's coming next dress size? Uh, I wear 22 I'm juicy. I already know that That's not the word I would use And I gotta be honest man What options And how can I say this in the night? Can I just be direct? Absolutely. I already know Well, what options do is the a woman who's a dress size 22? Can you command? I mean I say what it's all about. What how you carry it as well Ma'am, you're five foot five. Yeah And you're What's the most you've ever weighed 350 And a woman is five foot five should be a hundred and twenty five pounds You are almost three times at your height. You're almost three human beings. No, no, that's not my current weight though I said at your height Okay, but that's not 50 And three times 125 is 375 at your height. You were almost three women And what I'm asking in the nicest most gentle way possible Is what kind of options can a woman who is 350 pounds? Or there about think she can demand I just want to clarify that my biggest weight is 350, but that's not my current weight. Okay, ma'am. How much do you weigh now? Currently I'm 250 Okay, not much. Okay. It's an improvement. Absolutely. But it is still I'm just leave it alone But what I don't understand is how you could say education is what kept you from marriage when Most people would see it. Hold on. Okay. Most people would not say School and geography most people would point to your Your weight Oh, yeah, I know. But that's not what you said. You said school For me personally, I feel like I Know man, that's not what it was And you're an educated woman And you're sitting here trying to tell me and that And well, it wasn't the fact that there were men in college. There were men around you, ma'am You were you were too big for anybody to really seriously consider you Right So telling yourself it was school Is delusional That makes sense But What's troubling is that I had to pull that out and at 33 You can't be honest with that. Oh, no, no, no, I I accept that but you accept what I said But it's not what you openly admitted. It's the point I mean the technique is pretty clear. Why why aren't you married? Well, you know, I think it's geography and Options to get married, but I just didn't take that right Option, but let's also be honest the kind of man you say you want you don't have Well, I'm dating now, so but the kind of man you say you want you don't have I do have now, but I'm not married yet You say you want an intelligent and ambitious man. Why why and why is ambition important? Ambition is ambition is important because it shows me where you want to go and How you process life and the things that you want to achieve You want children? Absolutely How many? Uh, at least two And what does your doctor say about that? It's very possible And how long have you been at 250? Um for about Eight years Well, honestly, I believe that the truth is that many black women have let themselves go All right to the point to where honestly Yeah, I can get up 300 plus pounds, which is why Spellman got rid of all their college athletics because they saw so many women coming to college in your height weight And not really giving a damn Yeah, and taking your prime years at plus pounds for prioritizing everything other than your weight and As an extension being attractive to a man you put yourself in a position where you have to provide for yourself So are you saying you actively are seeing somebody who is vetting you for marriage? Yeah How long have you guys been seeing one another? Um, almost two years What did you do for that? He's a mortgage broker Has it been married? No Any children? No So if you're saying he's honestly Dating or vetting you for marriage, what's taking so long? Um I don't think it's taken too long. I believe in taking my time No, no, man. First time I asked you when was your last relationship? You said it was four years ago Mm-hmm, but now but now you said you said you said you said no, I asked you when was your last relationship you said four years ago Okay, we broke up. We did break up for a time So all together we're coming out the two years of knowing each other That doesn't make any sense prior to this relationship. My last relationship was four years ago But if you're currently in a relationship your relationship, okay, all right For two years taking your time. How long should it get out of common sense? How long should it take? No more than three years. He really thought about it, you know Maybe about three years three years As he told you he wanted to marry you Yeah, are you going to ring shopping? Ring shopping Do you make any room for the man? Please stop the man in the common sense. I'm not. I'm not All right, do you make any room for the possibility that you could be not being honest with yourself? As far as Where this relationship are likely had I mean, I'm not I'm not afraid of it not No, I asked you if you want to get married you said yes But if you want kids you said two you're 33 years old You said you've been in a relationship for two years. I asked you if you would somebody Who's actually vetting you for marriage? You said yes. I asked you what's why is it taking so long? You said I believe in taking my time. I said How long should it take you said no more than three years and I said, all right, ma'am Do you make possibility a room for the fact that you may be reading this wrong? Because if a man wants to marry you he should have already proposed to you a long time ago I mean, I understand what you're saying, but you know ever since he's not married he has no children There's nothing stopping him. What is he going to know knowing a year that you didn't already know man? We've talked about it No, no It's we see that's the thing you ladies have nothing to do with whether or not we propose either we do or we don't So if someone asks me would you like to get married and I'm like, well, let's think about it Let's talk about it some more. No, no, no, that's not how it works How it works is somebody presents a ring and drops it in me After they ask your father for your hand of marriage and they pop the question What you're talking about is quite honestly Sphinx it's just a way to keep the sex kind of and you're a grown woman and you got to know these things Well, I don't know. I guess marriage is not like, um On the table it says it should be It's not what it's not at the top of my list as it should be if that's One that's fine, but uh, you're 33 years old and your body type. Um, I don't I mean just from a from a health standpoint Think you're being honest Okay Well, I respect I mean, don't respect my I mean go to your doctor and ask them. What is it? Are you going to be able to carry children? I'm sure I will be. No, no, no, man. I don't I don't I'm not saying I'm a cancer survivor. Okay, so Understand, I'm not just asking these questions. I'm like You were 350 pounds down to 250 and You don't know You're just assuming that everything's going to work out and you ladies always assumed the best It sounds to me like you really are not prioritizing marriage, honestly Um, sounds to me like if you're dating somebody You know, it's not really going anywhere and you're just happy calling it what it is, but What I like to do is I like to focus women and realize man the choices you're making At this time have a long range effect. You're wasting time if you ever want to have kids Okay I mean high risk pregnancy starts at 25 for healthy women You're not healthy weight Well, I know I have to lose weight before I actually have a child I'm aware of that too And that's a plan to do So when I asked earlier about, you know, why you're not married, I think it's more clear now It's not because of school. It's not because of geography Is that all? Huh? And then and then what is it about? What do you think it's about based on what I said? Based on what you said you're saying is because of my figure I think you just I honestly think you're just not really taking life seriously not my relationships Well, I'm glad you said relationships in that life because well, but life is about relationships If not, if not, if not, we could lock you up in solitary confinement and you could still do what you do just fine Life is about relationships I think you're not taking relationships seriously Uh, because there's some delusion here and you think you have all the things you think you have time that you don't have You think you have options that you don't have And a lot of women black women in particular Move through life this way and then they are dealing with the very weird reality That there are out of options out of time And because no one sat people down and said You need to If you want a man in a family you need to focus on it Right But It like you said at 350 pounds when you were there Yeah That's not somebody that's prioritizing relationship I hear you so I mean, I truly hope you uh No, are your sister your height and your weight too? No, my sisters are slim Okay, well I hope you and your your boyfriend or whatever you would call it. Um I would just say man, don't delude yourselves You're right um, because Women don't have the same kind of clock that we have And the price the women pay for delusion Meaning telling yourself something that you want to believe that's not true Is different because after a certain age fertility and these things happen um lastly um You need a man who's an above average earner You do Wait say it again. You need a man who's an above average earner Uh as long as we have the things that we need like I don't need an above average earner. What is an average earner? An average earner would be about 80 000 Do you do you care if he's black or not? Yes, I do. I would say no, but I do care Well, what percentage of black men do you think earn 80 000 dollars? Say it again. What percentage of black men in this country do you think earn 80 000 dollars? Probably 45 percent Yeah, uh 15 15 So they're not nearly so if you need a man to make 80 000 The chance you need to cut what you they're just See what I mean by being deluded You think the average man earns 80 000 dollars in this country and the average black man earns 42 Well, I haven't had a problem with common in contact with those people Yeah, but we're not seeing I don't really concern myself with coming into contact with hooking up dealing I keep score on marriages because that's one of the convenient highs that a lot of systems like To tell themselves because I can Date men have sex with men in Iraq with men on this level that it's just like being married to it And it's absolutely not But what I've showed you tonight, ma'am is You don't really have a clue what's going on out here with men Which explains why you gotta hold on to this one because I'm assuming he earns 80 000 dollars or more. Does it? Yeah All right, because if you don't have him that means you got to go back out here in the market, right? In the pandemic, right? Yeah, right and I can I can tell you this the men black men who earn what you're talking about Are not looking for women that weigh more than them Are you sure? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm trying to keep the light I don't want it to be too heavy I Wanted to be realistic though, man You such the act like that this is a game and life is not a game No, I totally understand. I understand. I'm not doing this to waste my time at midnight. I mean, I got other shit I could do I mean you got my you clicked on me. All right, uh, and that's what I'm doing. You know what? We get what we reflect and This is why I find it difficult to feel sorry for women like yourself Because it's because it's like because Even though we're trying to have the conversation you want to keep a light understand you want to keep a light, man But there's there's something to be said for in the pandemic and this and that I hope you get what you want out of life. I really do but I'm also more than that I hope me and get what they want out of life And no men don't go out and become the best version of themselves and put themselves in the top 15% of earnings To get women who are two hundred fifty three hundred pounds. They don't do that I think that's I think That's unreasonable to expect them to do it All right, you have a good night and and if I don't believe that one was no three 250 pounds um This five foot five and twin address size 22 That is five foot five and address size 22 That right there woman is not 250 pounds