 I got in plenty of trouble when I was a kid and most of it was justified Things that I had done, but there was an occasion a rare occasion where there were times when I got in trouble for something that I didn't do and Nothing was more frustrating to me than to be blamed for something that I didn't do I think in terms of interpersonal communication Emotion is the Aspect of communication gets blamed for so much and is not really responsible for those things Mostly because we misunderstand the emotion and how it works so I want to take a moment here to look at how we Can understand emotion more effectively? What is it? How does it work? How does it operate? What's the nature of emotion and and why does it sometimes get the blame for some things that it's not really responsible for but So starting with this video, we're going to take a look at starting with the definition of emotion What is an emotion? Emotion is the body's multi-dimensional response to any event that either enhances or inhibits your goals So there's a lot there to unpack We're going to take a take this apart piece by piece and look at the fact that it's multi-dimensional That it's in response to an event that enhances or inhibits your goals We're gonna look at all those things as we define emotion and as we seek to understand emotion more fully But first of all Let's take a look at emotion versus mood. Sometimes these are terms that get thrown around interchangeably like they're the same thing But they're not the same thing. There are two primary differences between emotion and mood. The first is the source Emotion as we just talked about that definition has a source. It's a response to an event to something specific There's something specific and identifiable that triggers an emotion mood Not so much moods just kind of fall on us. They do just kind of come out of this kind It could be just as simple as waking up on the wrong side of the bed Who knows where moods come from at this point? We don't really understand But but we know where emotions come from emotions are triggered by a specific event and come from a source mood does not The other big difference is duration We know that emotions tend not to last as long as as moods do moods tend to linger It's like that cartoon where you see the the rain cloud following people around right a mood tends to do that It tends a good mood or bad mood tends to linger longer tends to hang out with you longer and emotion will come and go faster It'll fade away a little faster getting good or bad doesn't matter Emotion the duration of emotion tends to be less than that of a mood So there are differences here specifically that for emotion that we know where they come from and they don't last quite as long Where as moods we don't really understand the source and they tend to last longer So our discussion though is going to focus on emotion So let's talk a little bit about the nature of emotions some different characteristics of emotion that are important first Emotions are multi-dimensional. We experience emotions in several different ways So first we experience emotions through physiological changes I've never noticed when you experience a strong emotion your body temperature may go up You may start to sweat more right you may you may notice some sweating again It could be good emotion could be a bad what we consider a good or bad emotion a positive or negative emotion doesn't matter when we experience a strong emotion We will start to sweat some our body temperature will go up our stomach may tighten up You know things like that and we may experience some of those different Physiological changes mean meaning changes to our body that we experience in our body with us with the the emotion We also have nonverbal reactions that are a part of emotion that are part of experiencing that emotion and part of expressing that emotion These nonverbal reactions that go along with them as another dimension of emotion So we have changes that happen within our body and these physiological changes that they come along with them with emotion But we also have these nonverbal reactions We express a lot of our emotion through these nonverbal reactions through our facial expressions through our gesturing through our posture all these different types of things that we use to To express and experience emotion using those nonverbal reactions Those two are two that people usually are like yeah, I get that I've seen that I mean I understand how those work. I'm having experienced an emotion I can see those the other two dimensions are some that we may not think about quite as much or quite as directly as Associated with emotion. So the first of those is cognitive interpretations We have a way to of translating sort of emotion. How are we going to experience this emotion? and and how are we going to express that emotion is Largely based on our cognitive interpretation Right when we experience an emotion, is it something that we enjoy? You know, why do some people enjoy horror movies? They enjoy being scared. Why is that other people are like, no, thank you I don't want to be scared So our cognitive interpretation in terms of experiencing that emotion tells us, you know, that's a positive thing I want that I like that I need that or no, I don't like that or just even experiencing You know, we talked about physiological changes and nonverbal reactions. Those can be a little ambiguous, right? So if I said you're experiencing a strong emotion and as a result you are your body temperature is going up You're starting to sweat a little bit You you notice that your face is feeling a little flush and and your stomach has tightened up You're getting hands are a little clammy those types of things. So what emotion are you experiencing? If you notice that you've had those physiological changes, what emotion are you experiencing then? Well, based on that, it could be that you're super angry. It could be that you're in love It could be that you're, you know, experiencing anything in between there because these physiological changes tend to be kind of similar for a lot of different emotions, right? So how do we know what emotion we're feeling? Well, our cognitive interpretations tell us. Well, I mean this I mean this Situation this is the context. This is what's happening. And so as a result, it's most likely this emotion And then how do I feel about that? How strongly do I feel that? And then we are we spiraling out here? We talk into ourselves telling ourselves this is a big deal or no, it's not a big deal so forth, you know Cognitive interpretation is a very strong impact on our emotion the way that we experience It the intensity with which we experience it the way we're going to express that emotion So our cognitive interpretations go a long way in helping us identify and express those emotions Then finally a verbal expression is is part of our emotional Expression to it as part of that is one of those dimensions the way that we express our emotions verbally not only What words we choose in a verbal sense like what what language do we use to express our emotions? Which we'll talk about in another video is what how important that is but what language do we use to? Express that emotion to kind of explain that emotion and so forth And then also along with that the the para language that goes with that how we express, you know, not only what words do we choose but How loudly do we exclaim it and what tone and so forth that goes along with that verbal expression? That's another aspect of of emotion of of experiencing and expressing that emotion So you can see emotions are multi-dimensional in the fact that they that they really go through all four of these Dimensions that we experience them not just as something that you know jumps in our gut and gives us butterflies or whatever But I think we have those physiological changes But it also involves non-verbal reactions cognitive interpretations and verbal expression You put all that in the blender and you have what what it is to Experience that emotion and then ultimately express that emotion So first we need to understand that emotions are multi-dimensional We also need to understand that emotions vary in valence and valence is basically a fancy word to say Positive or negative is an emotion good or bad for us Is this a good emotion or a bad emotion? and and that can be a little tricky too because You know really just depends on the on these two factors So first it depends on the intensity of that emotion to what degree are we experiencing that emotion? And is it an appropriate level for that context? Right if it's something that's really really serious then experiencing an emotion very very strongly Would be appropriate would be expected in that situation But if it's something that's more minor and insignificant and yet you're having this major blowout Then that's you know, maybe not an appropriate level of intensity Sometimes I think about too when I played played football in my much much younger days I was a football player and we would sometimes you know work ourselves up before a game talking about how You know the other team they didn't like us there saying bad things about us They were talking about our girlfriends or our moms or whatever We so we would use this to develop some these you know Almost anger to kind of to kind of hype us up a little bit So we play harder and and push harder during the game And that's that's fine except when if it got overboard and I think we got so angry that then we were trying to Intentionally hurt somebody then that intensity is Out of that range out of that appropriate range, right? So we need to watch the intensity with which we experience an emotion and make sure that That we're experiencing it with the appropriate level of intensity Also need to think about duration How long is that emotion staying with us again emotions don't tend to last as long as moods, but Is it you know, are we experiencing that emotion for an appropriate period of time? If it's something small again, it should be a shorter duration of something major Maybe we hold on to it longer Um, and it all just depends on context and what's happening again in the example at football game That those emotions should not last after the final whistle that game Right after the final whistle we need to let go of those emotions But if we hang on to it and then we start, you know We hang on to that anger and we're getting into fights in the parking lot after the game and so forth That's a problem. That's that's an inappropriate duration So again, we need to really think about What's the appropriate range for this emotion in terms of intensity and duration and look at those things and say Okay, are we experiencing this for an appropriate period of time and at the appropriate level of intensity? And that's going to vary for every emotion and then based on that If it's within that appropriate range, then we can say that that emotion has a positive Valence and if it's outside of that then it could have a negative valence And here's the thing. It doesn't matter what that emotion is If it's anger, some people say well anger is a bad emotion, right? It's obviously a negative valence Well, not necessarily anger could be positive. As I said, it could get hyped up for a football game. It could You know do some good things for you. I'm not saying everybody should be angry all the time but At the appropriate intensity and duration in that context It may be an emotion with a positive valence again helping us achieve our goals emotions are Essentially essentially measured in the sense of do they help me achieve a goal or are they keeping me? Are they inhibiting me from reaching that goal? And if that emotion is is Helping me achieve that goal, then it's a positive one. It's a positive valence And people would probably say, you know, well love is obviously a positive valence, right love and yeah for the most part It is most of the time it is but what if that love turns into Like infatuation or we hang on to it too long after a relationship is over It's ended we're no longer in that relationship and yet we can't let go Of that other person to move on with our lives Then some people would say well, that's that's gotten a duration or intensity That's that's how to whack for that context and and maybe has a negative valence and keeping us from Doing other things keeping us from achieving those goals, right? So we need to look at every emotion in terms of Is this an appropriate emotion first of all for that context? And then am I experiencing it in the appropriate intensity and duration To measure for a positive valence or is this outside of that range? And therefore a negative valence Emotions also find to come in Primary and secondary forms if you remember, you know when you're in elementary school, you had a color wheel, right? Probably and you had those primary colors of is it red and yellow and blue. I think are the primary colors And then the other colors are really made up out of combinations From there and combinations of those combinations, right and so forth So you mix yellow and blue you get green you mix yellow and red you get orange, right and so forth and so The same thing is kind of true for emotion. You can almost do like a color wheel of emotion Or you have these primary emotions like joy and acceptance and fear and so forth when you combine those Right when you combine fear and acceptance you get submission you get the emotion of submission When you combine anticipation and joy you get optimism and so forth, right? So emotion can come into these primary forms But it also then is combined to make these secondary emotions It's not to say the secondary emotions are less valid or less less intense or that they You know the experience of those is diminished in any way It's just a matter of understanding how emotion is constructed and that some of these are are combinations of different you know Different combinations of emotion and that to construct different things So So hopefully now we have a better understanding of the foundational elements of emotion so that we can get to the idea of Okay, there's some things we can control here. There's some there's some it's not just something that happens to us Emotion emotion gets blamed for a lot of things. There's a why get out, but it was just emotion. I was emotional, right? That's not really good enough at this point We can control a lot of this and we should control a lot of this as best we can so Hopefully we have a better understanding of emotion to build from as we look at some other aspects of emotion as well If you have questions about emotion or how it impacts or relates to interpersonal communication, please feel free to email me I'd love to speak with you on that account in the meantime Again, consider these foundational aspects and definitely dig into these other videos that we're going to have on emotion So that we can continue to not only See those emotions happen, but we can continue to understand them better identify them more easily And manage them more productively than we have in the past