 So there's a misconception about men that because they're rather dysfunctional, that they must be playing games when it comes to dating, mating, or mating. Let me repeat that. Because they're rather dysfunctional, there's this misconception that they're playing games when it comes to your love life. And I'm here to say that's not exactly what's happening because the dating, mating marketplace today is rather, it is rather dysfunctional because human beings are rather dysfunctional. I keep saying the word dysfunctional because here in the United States, we have a mental health issue that's plaguing almost everybody, okay? On some level, every human being is suffering on an emotional level of not feeling good enough, not feeling lovable, not feeling likable. So there's no wonder that in the dating marketplace, if you will, in the dating dynamic today, there must be a lot of confusion and because of this, men get labeled for playing games and that's not actually what's happening because here's the thing. Dating, I want you to think about this for a moment. Dating didn't exist up until about 50 years ago. And you're going, Jonathan, that's not true. There's traditional dating, whatnot. Think about it. In the past, 50 years ago, prior to the 1960s, 60s on and on today, prior to that, most courtships lasted a nanosecond. They lasted a couple of weeks, maybe two months at best because if you wanted to get laid, you had to get married. So the courtship process was very accelerated in the early stages. So we didn't see the kind of dating today as they didn't see the kind of dating then as they do today. It's vastly different. And if you think about it throughout human history, and I repeat this quite often on my videos, if you go back to caveman days or Neanderthal days, 200,000 years ago, mating was simply a woman was washing her feet in the river and the man ran up to her and stuck it inside her and that was mating. So the whole concept of dating has really changed primarily because of birth control. That changed everything because that made sex relatively free and easy. And because of that, men continually get accused of being playing games instead of understanding that the dynamic of two people connecting with one another should be more intentional. I'm gonna repeat that. It should be more intentional. And yet today it is quite cavalier and casual. Ladies, I know you think you stand in your standards and yet so many women dropped their boundaries at a nanosecond for a guy. These women are also known as low-hanging fruit and it's no wonder men oftentimes might appear to take advantage of women because women are willing to listen, let me stop for a second. I'm not here to suggest that you can't have whatever you want with your body. You can have state that they want. That is certainly within your purview. You have that right to do that. And yet what happens is if you want a true genuine relationship, then it requires doing a little bit of deeper investigation before you even consider sex. This is why I'm adopting a new philosophy and this is based on my current relationship. I'm adopting a slightly newer philosophy and that is why I've talked about this before. Intentional dating, accelerated dating, radical honesty and laying your cards on the table. I'm gonna repeat that. Accelerated or intentional dating, accelerated dating, radical honesty and laying your cards on the table. Now, this is only exclusive for those people that A, have a strong bond when they meet with, excuse me, a strong connection when they meet with one another. That's right, a strong connection, okay? Not lust, not limerence. Doesn't mean you can't have sexual desires with this person, but if it's lust, then it's only driven by the biological need to get laid. That's not the strong connection I'm talking about. If it's limerence, which means putting someone up on a pedestal, that's not a strong connection either. I'm talking a mutual connection with one another. In addition, these two people clearly have to know their childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas to be able to navigate the radical honesty questions. This is something I teach in my private coaching. I help women identify the questions based on their personality to ask men to vet for emotional maturity and compound. By the way, if you need some support, check out the link in the description for a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. And by the way, it's right here. Oh, wait, this way, right here. JonathanAsley.com forward slash coaching. All right, so with that said, two human beings that know their childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas, there's a strong connection. They adopt this policy of intentional dating. That means going in, looking at each other and saying, look, I'm willing to explore the dating process with you and I'm willing to explore a relationship with you. And this is relatively early on. The accelerating is dating is spending a lot of time together in a short period to really see if you're compatible with one another, doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, maybe even traveling together. Radical honesty, that's being vulnerable, authentic and transparent with this person. I'm gonna repeat that, vulnerable, authentic and transparent with this person. And lastly, laying your cards on the table, that's sharing your life, the warts and all. You, we all know, okay, most human beings know their weaknesses, they know their red flags. In other words, those things that could cause problem in relationship. When you lay the cards on the table, you actually have an opportunity to develop deeper intimacy with someone that avoids all the misconception of game playing. The real problem for most of you is that look, we are in a dysfunctional world of human beings. Quite frankly, only a small percentage of human beings do personal development work, self-help and spiritual work, just like what I talk about in my book, what the heck is self-love anyway? A journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. By the way, there's a link below to get a copy of my book. This outlines the journey I took to be able to cut to you, to come to you as I am today, as what I'd like to think is a more evolved aware human being, certainly when it comes to my romantic relationships, although I'm in a relationship, so I'm not saying it about the future I'm talking about now. So why is this so critically important? Because the reality is is most of you actively dating are going to be butting heads with dysfunctional people. You'll be butting heads with people who are incapable of leaning into a relationship. In fact, you're either gonna be with what I call users or spenders. Users are those love bombers, those people that'll waste your time, those gold diggers, those entitled people. And the spenders, they want companionship, they want connection, they want sex, but they're incapable of going deeper because they're fucked up. And we've got to identify this sooner rather than later. So many of you ladies oftentimes are silent because they check all the boxes. He's six foot two and he has a good job and he has a nice car and he owns a home. He checks all those boxes, but is he checking the boxes of compatibility? Does he check the boxes of shared values? Does he check the boxes of blendable lifestyle? And most importantly, does he check the box of emotional maturity? And yet sadly so many, listen, whether you like it or not, you have to become a detective, okay? Listen, you can whine bitch and complain that we are not in traditional society anymore. We used to be, I want you to think about it. Neanderthals, they made it within their tribe. Then we moved into towns. Everybody knew each other. Excuse me, we moved into villages. Everybody knew each other. Then it was town. Pretty much everybody knew each other and they knew the people in the surrounding town. And then eventually most people met in the workplace, madman era. And since then this melting pot here in the United States of different values, different ideologies. And we are in a clusterfuck here. Let me just tell you something between blue and red and this and that. I mean, we are a divided country almost on the brink of a civil war, emotionally speaking. So it is incumbent upon you to throw out the fucking fantasy that many of you are living off of this traditional narrative and start to get to the reality of what we're dealing with today. You have to become a detective. Now I know this fucking sucks. I get it, but here's the problem. If you can't weed out people quickly, do you want to go through hundreds of people before you meet someone special? Would you like to narrow that down much sooner? So we talked about game playing. I'm here to say that most men aren't intentionally playing games. Most men are good men. So I'm gonna share with you these four signals. And today we're gonna focus on what might seem like, I gotta read from my notes, what might seem like game playing, which is actually what's happening is a lack of intentionality and a lack of any self-awareness. So these four mixed signals I'm gonna share with you, excuse me, four things men say or do that might appear to be playing games is to really help prepare you for something deeper of which I'm gonna share. So here's my notes, bump, bump, bump. All right, number one, sending mixed signals. Now the reason why men send mixed signals is because they might like you, but they're uncertain about you or they are uncertain about their capacity to be in relationship. So it kind of sucks, the men who send mixed signals, it's because these men lack intentionality, most likely they've had significant childhood wounds and traumas or adult traumas that makes them resonance it. What's the word I'm thinking of? Well, reluctant, let's just say, to explore a relationship. This is why everybody I recommend the book the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process. This is a deep dive into healing your childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that cause a lot of people to play games in relation what appeared to me, what appeared to look like games in relationship. So the men that six men, six men who send mixed signals, they call you one day, they don't talk to you for a few days. They tell you how amazing you are and then they start pull back. This is very common when a human being hasn't really done the inner work to be prepared for a more significant relationship as what we're dealing with today. Look, in the past, it was simple. Men were the provider protectors, women took care of the children. The roles were rather simple. For those of us in midlife, most of us are divorced, roughly 75% of singles over 45 years of divorce. And many men have a hard time leaning into the provider protector role because of alimony, child support, all this other stuff. And quite frankly, because women are in the workforce as well, it's confusing to men. This isn't intentional. And by the way, the other dilemma many women face is men have been so bred to be provider protectors that they have no real awareness around emotional maturity in relationship. And I wanna share with you a meme I talked about the other day, but I think it's important to recognize that the ways to build emotional intimacy do meaningful activities together, be intentional about having conversations, offer thoughtful gestures, provide emotional support, share thoughts and feelings, practice non-judgment listening, apologize when wrong, be curious, validate their experience, face conflict with empathy and openness, offer non-physical compliments, practice vulnerability, try something new together, be honest and assertive, give space. And by the way, for all those feminine energy coaches, they're gonna tell you, oh, you just lean back and you're feminine energy and everything's just gonna magically work out because men fall in love when you're just doing whatever they say. That's just crock of shit. Yes, submissive women will temporarily attract a great guy. Let me repeat that. Submissive women will temporarily attract a great guy. Submissive women are the number one women who file for divorce because they don't want to be submissive. So you can listen to the rhetoric of leaning in your feminine and just be cooperative and nice and fun to the guy. But if you don't develop a real sense of emotional intimacy with one another, you will be another statistic. By the way, this was a gift from Jenny, the RN. That's me that says, ladies, I've said this before, I'll say it again, before the penis goes inside the vagina. Read the book, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman over here. Ladies, sitting back in your feminine energy waiting to be claimed is worthless. By the way, I just mentioned the book, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman. I highly recommend reading this. So I just talked about emotional intimacy. Folks, if you haven't read the book by Robert Masters, Emotional Intimacy, you're probably not prepared to be in a healthy, happy, intimate relationship with someone. Intimacy, into me you see. So many of you, listen, I know this might sound like I'm knocking you. I'm knocking the ignorance people have. But then I should be knocking myself down because I was so fucking ignorant for 50 years of my life until I actually began doing this work, or at least 45 years of my life I should say. Because the bottom line is this, we've got to grow up as a society if you want to have a juicy, delicious relationship. And I'm very blessed to have one now and I'll share that with you guys in a moment. But let's get through the next three mixed signals men said. Okay, here's a good one. Comparing you to their ex. Comparing you to their ex. People who have unresolved issues from their past do this because they haven't healed. Listen, I know many of you complain about men doing this, but it's just that they haven't healed. And I got to tell you something, 99% out of 100 women I've spoken to in the online dating world throw their ex-husband under the bus. And the men throw their ex-wives under the bus. Who's telling the truth? It takes two to tango though. And so comparing you to their ex oftentimes is unresolved issues from their past because they haven't healed. Number three, he's needy seeking validation. Okay, I oftentimes say that because I'm a Leo I'm rather needy because the world revolves around me. And yet I have, listen, there's a picture of my mother and father, okay? My mother, bless her heart, she passed away. Sweet woman, but she had a great capacity to give love and then take it away and give love and take it away and give love and take it away. She had this, whenever she was mad at my dad, my brother and myself, she'd go silent. And as a little boy, my brother and I were like, why does mom not love me? Why does not my mom love me? And I'm like, mommy, please love me as a little boy. So what happened to me as an adult? I didn't trust love. I need constant validation. I need to constantly know you like me or I'm losing my mind because I didn't feel safe as a child. And believe me, I have beaten the drum on this working on this stuff and it still creeps up in my new relationship and I find myself being needy. Doesn't make me a bad person. I'm not playing games. It just happens to be, I'm fucked up just like many of you are. And so rather than blaming men and complaining about men, let's rise to the occasion and come at this from a place of compassion and understanding, knowing that most men are good guys and they're doing the best they can. And lastly, and sometimes women think this is a game playing but when he says he's not ready, these are usually avoidant men who have been deeply wounded as a child. So my wound made me anxious when my mom was taking love away. What about the father who was not there for a boy? That boy could turn out to be an avoidant man and it makes him very untrusting of love. Doesn't make him a bad person. It just makes him a human being that's hurting on the inside. If you haven't read the book attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, I highly recommend it to understand why this happens and how to prepare for it if it's happening in your relationship. So, what's the benefit of all knowing this? I'm gonna come back to the beginning. Folks, you have a choice. You can be passive, leaning back. You can be passive or you can be intentional. You are in charge of your relationship destiny, not the guy. You start by saying, and by the way, you have something men want. Men want sex. It's just, by the way, I'm the horniest motherfucker and thankfully my girlfriend loves me for it. But most men like a lot of sex. Not all men, I get it. I know you've got men that don't like sex, but there's something they want from you. So you get to want something from them besides money. You get to want emotional connection. How are you gonna create emotional connection? You start being radically honest. You start reading the books I recommend. By the way, here's a great book for emotional connection. I hear you, the surprisingly simple skills to behind extraordinary relationships. You can literally, by reading a few books, change your love life. And that's my invitation for you because it's not men aren't playing games. They're just dysfunctional and the way they show up looks like game playing. But it's not intentional. When you can let go of that rhetoric, you actually begin to attract a better class of men in your life. As sinking in as this resonating, please let me know. Give me a thumbs up, share this video, join my subscribe to my channel, all that good stuff. All right, I think this will be a great place to get started for our Q&A, those who know my format. You know, if you have a question for me, write the word question and post the question there after or purchase a super sticker super chat or a super thanks. There's a little dollar sign in the box in the live chat box. All the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there and that's him right there. He's my son that passed away four years ago in four days. And in his honor, I've started a scholarship fund to help defray the cost and to donate to causes like the Hoffman Institute and Insight seminars to support their cause to help with their foundation for needy people wanting to go through their work. So again, purchase a super sticker super chat. I'd be truly grateful and it's in Connor's honor. So, questions, what question do you have of me? Well, most of you probably want an update on my relationship. So we've spent the last seven or eight days together, 24 seven. I mean, although she's not here right now. We, you know, it's funny. I'm noticing something about us because we share a lot of our past experiences with one another, but from a very healthy place. And I think we're healing our past relationships by talking about them in a way that's all about. So I want to tell you something. I am probably a little more schooled than my girlfriend in personal development, self-help and spiritual work. And one of the things I do is process, you know, our feelings, but there's something I say when we process our feelings, I say, let's unpack that. Let's unpack that. Now what that means is we're going below, we're going to open up what was just shared and talk about it at a deeper level. This is true intimacy and this is what we practice with one another. And what is so fucking adorable. I just love that she'll just say, I'll say something and I can't think of something off the top of my head and she'll just say, let's unpack that. And what that means is we're going to go below the surface. We're going to peel the onion in this particular case of what's come up. So we can actually have, you know, radical healing. I love that she wants to unpack things because look at, I mean, she told her daughter, she goes, Jonathan is exhausting. I mean, he, I mean, I'm an overly analytical person. Now here's the thing folks, I love human behavior. I love, I love, I recommend all these books. I mean, there's so many, my bookshelf is loaded with so many different books, but I keep to these regular books, but I'm fascinated with human behavior. I'm fascinated at the dysfunctionality of the dating, mating or relating process because dating triggers the number one emotional health issue of I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. So we're sharing things together and she says, let's unpack it and it's so much fun. And it's become our little game. It's become our little playful thing together to explore things at a deeper level. Folks, most of you know, I don't like small talk. I like to go deeper than the average person. In fact, let me just share with you a meme that I just totally love. I think you'll get a lot of value from it, but it's the kind of thing that I've been looking for and I found a woman who wants to play in this realm. So the meme says, I hope you can see that. I hate small talk. I wanna talk about Adam's death, alien sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, far away galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you've told, your flaws, your favorite sense, your childhood. What keeps you up at night? Your insecurity and fears. I like people with depth who speak with emotion from a twisted mind. I don't wanna know what's up. I didn't think I was gonna find a woman like that. And she is like, like the more I see her, she's like that fortune cookie that's got this secret message inside it. And I love that she has that capacity to go deeper than the surface. I'm gonna tell you something. We can live practical lives. We can live lives in the mind and in the body. But the real joy in life is in the spirit and emotions. At least that's my take on it. The spirit and the emotions. It's connecting with that divine part of yourself. It's connecting with that part of yourself that can really tap into one's emotions. Anyway, so let's see what questions we have. All right, so thank you for allowing me to share. And I'm more than happy to share more about her as well. So give me a second. All right, and I wanna thank Jenessa for the $5 Super Sticker, thank you so much. Peggy, can you tell us sometime how your son passed away? He passed away in an accident, sadly. I'd rather not share the particulars of the accident, but that is how he passed away. So thank you for asking. Kimberly, my sweetheart Chicago, Kimberly friend. Question, I know a man should not kiss and tell, but are you having physical intimacy yet? Epsa fucking Lutely we are, I have no problem sharing. I don't think she'd ever problem me sharing as well. Yes, we've, yeah, and it's fucking awesome. I'll tell you that. It's interesting when you connect with someone at a heart center level, I'm gonna be candid with you all. I think the way I operated sexually before, even for most of my life was pretty much like a porn movie because that's how I learned, I learned about sex through pornography. Well, first I learned about sex through James Bond. You know, James Bond, you know, like I'm watching him on the screen, oh, James, oh, James, and I somehow thought, you know, being a lover was like that, but you didn't see what was actually going on. All you ever heard was the shirt taken off by Sean Connery, and the next words out of the mouth was oh, James. And then there was pornography. So I learned sex the old fashioned way. You know, oral sex, oral sex, you know, missionary, missionary, get each other off, that was it. Why I'm sharing this with you is, and I will say pornography has fucked it up for men in particular. Pornography has really fucked it up. The ability to really connect with someone at that heart centered level. And what I'm so grateful for in this relationship is that we practice tantric sex. I'll be candid with you. We practice that because tantric sex is really connecting at a heart centered level. I mean, really, this is the first time in my life, it might be genuinely the first time in my life where I feel like I'm genuinely making love to someone instead of the pump, pump, pump and dump. I'm sorry, I'm being candid, but that's kind of the way most people operate in the bedroom. It's about the climax and not enjoying the ride along the way. I mean, it's funny, it's almost like riding, it's like a surfer riding the edge of the wave and then going down and coming back up and going down and coming back and riding that wave for miles. That's what happens when you meet a partner where you can, listen, she and I are incredibly aligned with one another. I mean, our values, our lifestyles, our emotional maturity and so many little tiny facets. If you haven't read the book, Two Dates by Neil Clark Warren. This is the guy who started eHarmony. Now, let me be candid with you. I'm not a big fan of eHarmony, but he talks about the 25 areas of compatibility. We are literally hitting all 25 areas. Most couples barely hit 12. There's no wonder it's dysfunctional with one another. So coming back to our, so what's happening on a physically intimate level is we are connecting, I mean, our souls are connecting with one another. I've never experienced this before. I don't wanna say I've never experienced, but it seems very rare. How did this happen? Radical honesty and laying our cards on the table. When you let go of the facade, when you let go of the mask we wear. You know, Chris Rock once said that most people date as the ambassador of their best selves. She and I started with our warts, you know? We didn't start off with our best selves. I mean, our first date was our best selves and their second date was that. But after that, we just laid our cards on the table. How does that happen? You've gotta be fucking intentional about it. You cannot be passive. You know, listen, and men don't know this shit. So have them watch this video. That might inspire them because folks, all I know right now, I've never experienced a heart connection like this ever in my life. And I'm crazy about this person. So anyway, to answer your question, yes, we've been physically intimate with one another. I don't think I'm sharing anything that's insensitive here. All right. Thank you for that question. I really appreciate it. All right. Ah, looks like we have a bot here that's... All right. Question. I'm sorry. Question. Jonathan, how important is sense of humor to you? Do you feel it's important to most men? Yeah. You know what? I think sense of humor is such a critically important aspect of a relationship because you know what's fun about my girlfriend? I, we laugh all the time. We're actually laughing at ourselves. So, and you have to be able to laugh at yourself. You have to be able to let things go. Otherwise, it's so fucking tense. I can't teach you how to have a sense of humor. I'm just gonna share with you. I think it's critically important to have a fun relationship and having a good sense of humor about each other because look at Harry met Sally. Sally was neurotic, you know? But Harry found the love in her through that. And so I'm here to say, yes, sense of humor is important. I think that's a great question. All right. Gloria says, question. I'm a very deep person. Do you think being too deep, too quickly could chase that person away? Which has happened to me in the past. So that's a good question. So let's define what deep means. What does deep mean to you? I'm here to say, lay your cards on the table to start. What the fuck do you want? Look, if you two people like each other, then lay your cards on the table quickly. First, you have to know yourself. Most humans don't know how they're fucked up there are. They might have read one page of a book and go, oh, I'm healed. They might have gone to one workshop. I'm healed. I've been peeling the onion at this shit for 15 years. It's taken a lot of time to know who I am. Oh, actually folks, I want to share something with you. And I'll answer that question in a second. I hope I'm not, I hope, I hope I don't butcher this, but I had an interesting awareness with my girlfriend. I wrote this down. I was never able to be me until I met you. I was never able to be me until I met you. I didn't know who I was until I met you. And I went out, these are just notes I said to myself. Before you, oh, here's what I came up with. Before you, I thought I knew who I was and behaved to conform what was expected of me. And now I know who I am because I am free to be me. I want to repeat that to everyone. Before you, I thought I knew who I was and behaved to conform what was expected of me. And now I know who I am because I am free to be me. Folks, what I'm loving about this relationship is probably for the first time, I'm experiencing trust, trust. I believe this person has my best interest at hand because I have her best interest at hand. And because of that, there's this freedom to just be your authentic self. I mean, we are radically raw with one another. And it is such a liberating feeling. I think true love is freedom to be yourself, to be your authentic self, worths and all. And I will say that probably very few couples will ever reach this level of freedom. But it starts by, listen, I even said this to her, I did a fucking shitload of work to heal myself after Connor passed away. And I thought I really love myself until I meet this person and more shit comes up. But what I love is I'm able to express that stuff. So what does deep mean? Coming back to your question, look it, I wouldn't share secrets to a total stranger until you felt safe. By the way, you should read the book. Before I answer this question, talking to strangers by Malcolm Gladwell, what you should know about people you don't know. The reality is as most humans are strangers, so of course you can't go deep with someone who doesn't have a capacity to receive. So you start by little chunks and bits. So what I did with my girlfriend, we met one year earlier on a dating app. And our first conversation, by the way, how I attracted her into my life was based on my private coaching. So again, right here, coaching. What I teach is how I connected with her. And one of the first things we did on the telephone is I had my 15 questions that were most important to me. And it's kind of funny, we were just talking about this yesterday. She goes up to the 15, she goes, check, check, check, check, check. And she only missed one check. And we did it to each other. So look it, you've got nothing to lose. They're a fucking stranger. What do you got to lose? Because here's the way most dating operates. It's based on attraction. Most, these days, most dating is based on just pure attraction instead of understanding the more important aspects of a relationship. You're not familiar with my relationship, Iceberg. Most people focus on chemistry, but the real compatibility comes from shared values, blendable lifestyles, and emotional maturity. That's going deep. Yes, you have to go below the surface. And you might not be able to do that with just anybody. This is why you have to be really a detective in the early stages, determine if they're worthy for your depth. Anyways, that's my two cents on that. So Gloria, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. Corny Com. How important are gifts in a relationship? Is it a bad sign if a guy hasn't bought me jewelry after nine months? Fuck, I don't feel like buying jewelry for my girlfriend. I'm not a big, I don't believe in that shit. I'm sorry. I get that in the five love languages, words of affirmation, although if you're with the Leo, it's words of adoration, quality time, physical touch, access service, yes, okay, I get it. But I don't have any, look it. I don't like buying jewelry. I hate buying jewelry. I really hate buying jewelry. Most of the time, because I don't know what they're gonna like it. So the fact that you have an expectation on that disturbed me, okay? Have you talked about jewelry? Have you said, I'd like you to buy this? I mean, you can ask. Listen, for my birthday, this is what I'd like. For Christmas, this is what I'd like. He can buy it for you, may not. But I hate buying gifts for people. I can't stand it. I'd rather give an Amazon gift card. My son, I just write a humongous check for his birthday. I don't do special things, other than maybe a candle or something. Because guess what? It's hard to pick gifts for people. It's a pain in the fucking ass, in my opinion. And by the way, I've rarely gotten a gift from any previous girlfriend that I liked anyway. Most people are bad at picking gifts for one another. So that's my two cents. Does anyone agree with me on gift giving? Does anyone get what I'm saying? Please let me know, post a comment, okay? So corny cop, thank you. All right, personal question. Do you think it's sexist? Do you think, wait, do you think is sexist, who's the sexiest James Bond? God, that's a tough one because I've been a Sean Connery fan my whole life. But, you know, the first Daniel Craig, I mean, he just hit the, he just nailed it. He nailed it. And I was a big fan of Pierce Brosnan. I mean, I loved Remington Steel. I mean, I loved Remington Steel. I love Pierce Brosnan. So it's tough for me, but definitely without a doubt Sean Connery. I mean, he rocked it as James Bond and Daniel Craig, but it was hard for me not to also love Pierce Brosnan as well. So thank you so much for that question. All right, oops. Okay. I love gift giving. So I cannot relate, although I don't expect anyone to return. Okay. Midnight says I can't stand gifts. Yeah, cashiered gifts, guards makes it easy. Nope, I'm sorry. I love gifts, don't have to be expensive, just thoughtful. I'm just telling you, most guys are good at it. So you might love it, but we're not good at it. I know I'm not. And I'll ask her, but when I see her later tonight, I'm gonna bring up this conversation. How do you feel about that? My guess is she's gonna go, I don't care. But she cares most. But she cares most. Do my actions match my words? That's a gift, maybe. Do I victor consciousness instead of victim consciousness? Do I know how to fight fair and actively listen in relationship? Do I have a level of empathy that goes beyond feeling someone's feelings, but it genuinely caring for someone's feelings as well as I caring my own feelings? And lastly, a level of transparency. Meaning if it's material, the relationship I speak up. To me, that is the biggest gift of all. It's showing up as a full-fledged human being. Gifts are a material thing. The heart is an intangible. And to me, that's the greatest gift of all. That's my two cents on it anyway. All right. And Mary says, I'm pretty much indifferent to gifts. All right, thank you. Cheryl says, I've been dating nine months, shared my weaknesses, and now he uses my weaknesses against me. We have had deep hours of talking. He has said he has never felt the connection. But pulling. Pulling away and judges me. Oh, I'm sorry that's happening. Sounds like he's not very evolved. You never use someone's shame, pain against them. That's fucking bullshit. I wouldn't want to be in relationship. By the way, if I dated someone like that and that happened, done, done, next. Because homie don't play that game. So, you know, I'm sorry you've experienced that, that really fucking sucks. I'm sorry, Cheryl. I would dump them. All right. Mystic says, porn has definitely fucked it up. Tantric makes sense to me, agreed. All right, let's keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Ah, let's just see what other questions we have. Okay. Lynn Tarot says, we are never safe with men. That's not true. You know, I feel like men get a bad rap. I think of the firemen who rushed into a building on 9-11. Are these men bad men? I think of the policemen that have taken bullet for others. Are these bad men they're not safe to be with? I know some of them can be jackasses in relationship. I get it. But to lump men as not safe, you're setting yourself up for failure. Just my two cents on it anyway. All right. Pamela says, Jonathan, I believe what you're describing your relationship is the perfect definition of co-regulation, ideal co-regulation. You know what I feel like it's co-creation. If you haven't read the book by Gary Zukoff, I highly recommend this. It's called Spiritual Partnership by Gary Zukoff. I highly recommend this because I feel like we are co-creating a relationship together. I mean, it's like we are literally, we're so enmeshed in our desire to, I mean, our intentionality is beyond, it's beyond amazing. You know what I like is she, listen, she doesn't operate from the traditional bullshit gender rhetoric. She literally operates like from this book, if the Buddha dated, if the Buddha dated. And I love the fact that she doesn't play the bullshit gender rhetoric games. She's like, how do we connect with one another at a heart-centered level? That's what I like about her so much is she operates from this place. By the way, we went out to Maastros to dinner the other night. Here's a picture of the two of us. Just thought I'd share that. I am so blessed. She is an amazing human being. I am, I love that she doesn't subscribe to all the bullshit. She's like, let's just get to the heart of the matter. And I love that about this person. So anyways, I'm bragging. I listen, I'm Tom Cruise on the couch with Oprah, giddy as a schoolboy. In fact, she even said to me the other night when we went to dinner, she goes, you hop like a boy. And I'm like, yeah, there's a skip in my step because I feel excited. Anyway, thank you. And thank you, Gloria. She is very beautiful. I appreciate that. Ah, question. My partner and I have a deep conversation but he eventually routes it back to sex. It frustrates me. How do I stress the importance of just connecting on the emotional level? Okay, folks, I'm gonna be candid here. If my girlfriend right here, she'd say, Jonathan does the same thing. Listen, sex is fun. Spend time, emotional connection. Spend time in the bedroom. What the fuck is the point? Is life about going to work every day and counting beans? Life is about connecting both at an emotional and physical level. If I could fuck for 12 hours a day, I would. It would be a blast. So the fact that he does that, I mean, listen, if he's only doing it to climax, then I get it because I don't operate that way. In the tantric world, you really hold out for quite a bit of time to actually learn how to ride the wave. So it's not about ejaculation. It's about connection. It's really about connection. And we've been talking about this. Like this is a really, like it's about emotionally connecting together and physically connecting together because you eventually connect with each other at a spiritual level. So I would highly recommend looking into tantra as a way to learn to really connect with one another. Anyway, that's my two cents anyway. Thank you so much. Harley says, a hottie, Jonathan, I think so. Thank you. Christina says, is it okay to ask someone on a copy date if we've not gone out yet? Apsa fucking Lutely. Folks, my girlfriend emailed me first on a dating site. She took the lead. In fact, she actually made a little more effort because it's interesting. Because in my profile, I said, I'm an author. I'm a speaker. And she thought, oh, here's a guy, Los Angeles author speaker. He had his pick of women. And she wrote me such a beautiful heartfelt message. And I was absolutely inclined because she wrote something from her heart. What I love about her is when she connects from her heart, her communication is beyond beautiful. Listen, when I wrote my book, or what the heck is self love anyway, chapter one, speak your truth, do it with kindness. Chapter nine, if it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. So what I'm here to say, you can absolutely ask a man out on a copy date. The worst thing that can happen, he can say no. But who knows? You might end up with a man who's like me, who's emotionally high IQ, a person who wants to dive into the depths of a relationship. So who the fuck cares? Who makes the first move? What matters is if the two of you make this move together to co-create with one another, that's what matters most. And that's my invitation for you. So Christina, thank you. Cantor, I thank you so much for the $5 super sticker. I really appreciate it. All right, what's my birth date? August 1st, August 1st, I'll just leave it at that. 196 blank, blank, blank question. What should I do with the workaholic who's not taking me out but whenever I invited him to come eat my cooking food, he'll make time. I know he'll love my food. I know he loves my food I cook. What should you do? That's a good question. Don't invite him to dinner. Just stop inviting him to dinner. A relationship should be a two lane street. He should be, if you're cooking for him, he should be cooking for you. If you're cooking for him, he should take you out to dinner. A relationship is like two cars traveling down a road together. If you're over here and he's over here, just stop cooking. Just stop cooking and then see what happens. All right. Jonathan, please dating after 55. I'm being told it's too late for us women. My girlfriend is over 55. It is not too late. I shouldn't have said that. By the way, she's older than me. Let me just say that. Mystic says, can you describe how to get over being led on emotionally? This can happen with online dating over the phone before even meeting. That's a tough question. Practice awareness. Okay. Practice asking the right questions to vet the person. Look. I read this book eight dates. Figure out what the fuck you want in a relationship because when you have clarity, you'll have confidence. And when you have confidence, you breed better choices or schedule a discovery call with me. That might help as well. Okay. Brianna says, I'll try my question one more time. Wait a minute. Where'd it go? This'll be the last one for the day. Hi. By the way, Brianna, if you wanna ask a question, write the word question, post the question thereafter. Hi, I was married and divorced more than twice. No dating in my religion. I don't wanna lie to my new dates. How can I explain this without bad-mouthing my ex or making myself like a bullet? Look like a bullet. I don't wanna lie to my dude. How can I explain without bad... I don't understand your question. There's no dating in my religion. So are you in a religion that are you? Are you in a religion? Is it range marriages? I don't get it, Brianna. I don't really understand your question. I'm sorry about that. All right. Let's see. Same night, watch your video about seven classy traits. That was one of them. So validating my actions. Thank you so much. You're very welcome. Jesus Christ, Charles says, how do we just talk or how to do a discovery talk or question? By the way, right there. JonathanAsley.com coaching. Fill out the form, the schedule discovery call with me. You know, I think this will be a great place to wrap up today, everyone. Listen. Listen, we are in a ridiculously dysfunctional world. That's it. And it's incumbent upon you to learn to navigate it. You can fantasize about being in your feminine and the traditional expectations. Guess what? Your vagina is gonna have a lot of cobwebs unless you're low-hanging fruit, then it's gonna be blown out of proportion. But bottom line is this. I love the quote from Shawshank Redemption, get busy living or get busy dying. Read the books I recommend. Check out the link below to all the books I recommend. And then practice what I've practiced. Intentional dating. Accelerated dating. Radical honesty, putting your cards on the table. This only works for two people that have a strong connection who are self-aware of their childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas and are able to actually articulate this. So read the books so you can learn how to do this. And maybe, maybe you'll find an amazing partner in your life because it isn't about attraction. It's about shared values, blendable lifestyles, and more importantly, emotional maturity. All right, did you get value from this? Please let me know. Please like this video. Please share it with friends. Please subscribe to my channel. Written the bell as well. Check out all the links in the description if you'd like a discovery call. If you'd like to join my group, check all those out as well. And I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic Johnathan Barrack of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love as well. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone. Pat, a teddy bear pillow, and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Grace and Harley and Christina and Dale and Lulu and Jay Cantor and Pugs, Mary Graham, Brianna, Janice, Jesus, Sarah, everyone, thank you so much. Did you get value out of this? Please let me know. Thanks so much. Bye now.