 Thank you all for inviting me to your board meeting here today, although upon later reflection none of you will remember actually having extended an invitation. Don't worry, I won't be stopping to take questions. You probably have seen my company scattered around in airports around the world advertising with statements that make no sense. That's fine. No one is buying anything from a billboard. It builds brand recognition, so when I identify myself as being with a company here in this conversation, you smile and nod rather than asking who the hell we are. This is the plan. Let me throw up a diagram of how my system works. If you don't understand it, I'm not going to explain it to you and will instead imply that you're the idiot. I will not expand my acronyms, I will not talk about how any of it works, and frankly that's why we have enterprise grade slides. I'm not here to give you a 10,000 foot view. I'm not here to give you a 60,000 foot view. I'm here to give you an orbital view. Take a look at the broader strategic landscape of your problems and how I can potentially solve them for you. That's why I'm here. That's why I dress like this. You may or may not agree with what I'm selling, but that's okay. Later I will take the man or woman out to play golf and make the actual who to make the decision and then sell them. That was a joke. This is a Fortune 500 company board meeting. Of course the decision maker is a man. Why would we value diversity in this constant? Now my system is probably not going to solve your actual problem. You will be amazed, astounded, and grateful by how little that actually matters to anything. Because when the finger of blame comes to point at people, it's not going to be landing on you. Realistically, it's not landing on me either because you're doing all the right things by going with my company. You're in the good part of the Gartner Magic Quadrant. This is why we advertise it in flight magazines. This is a way to outsource decision making around things that used to be hard and confusing. This is why we write large checks to Gartner. What's your alternative to hire some unwashed open source hippie who can solve your problem technically in 20 minutes or a team of well-dressed MBA graduates who we can work 120 hours a week, bill you for 40 hours, and they are wizards with Excel. It's really up to you, but which is the more defensible if it doesn't work? What those open source hippies fail to grasp is that the reason that this sale is going to work isn't just my clever airport advertisements, but it's because of personal relationships. We're all friends on a board level. That is how it works in the halls of power. This is how decisions get made at enterprise scale. One group of people understand that. The other one doesn't. Food for thought. Now, yes, there is an ideological argument to be made here, and that's terrific, but I'm here to sell software and you're here to do whatever the hell it is your company does, and I don't think that either of us is in the business of saving the whales. If you want to do that, terrific, go work for Greenpeace. They're not on my client list. The point here is that making a sale today is good for my company, and it's good for your company. We all come out of this looking good as a direct result of this. The time is meow. There has never been a better time to partner one large enterprise company to one large enterprise service provider. Unfortunately, I will not be staying to take questions. I found another prospect that desperately needs the thing that my company provides, but that's okay. I will remember you fondly. In fact, I'll name my yacht after you when I get home at the end of the day. Out of respect for your business and as a constant, pernicious reminder to myself that as board members of a company like this, you are all C-level executives.